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Late Friday evening, when everyone else was busy pretending their weekend plans were too important to sweat it out, I decided to keep it \u201csimple stupid\u201d and crank out a Murph at the marsh. Because why not combine the serenity of nature with a borderline masochistic workout, right?<\/p>\n
We kicked things off with a quick warm-up around the flag\u2014mostly to loosen up, but also to stall and hope for a miracle excuse to skip leg day. No such luck. Straight to the marsh we moseyed, where we proceeded to grind through 20 sets of 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups, and 20 squats.<\/p>\n
Now, here\u2019s where the comedy gold begins. You\u2019ve got Bird over there doing jump squats with a full spin like he\u2019s auditioning for Cirque du Soleil, and Zoolander showing off with thumb-only pull-ups and one-legged inverted Bulgarian split squats. The rest of us? Oh, we were doing our own kind of heavy lifting\u2014debating whether Guns N\u2019 Roses could out-mosh New Kids on the Block, swapping embarrassing stories about our \u201890s crushes, and contemplating if VH1\u2019s Behind the Music counts as cardio.<\/p>\n
After wrapping up the Murph and rethinking life choices, we moved on to some Lt. Dan lunge-walking\u2014because who doesn\u2019t love a good Forrest Gump reference in the middle of quad destruction? We finally ran into Grundy, who had been \u201centhusiastically\u201d searching for us by running laps around the lakefront. (Sure, buddy. We believe you.)<\/p>\n
Stop signs became our new nemeses, where we busted out 20 squats at each one. At the second-to-last stop, we switched it up with two rounds of 20 penguins and 20 LBCs because nothing screams camaraderie like flapping around like aquatic birds. A few brave souls sprinted to the flag to finish strong while the rest of us casually redefined what counts as a \u201csprint.\u201d<\/p>\n
We wrapped up with C.O.T., where Russo prayed us out, undoubtedly asking for divine intervention to heal our sore muscles and to forgive Bird and Zoolander for showing us all up.<\/p>\n
Thanks for letting me lead, gentlemen. Next time, let\u2019s try something harder\u2014like keeping a straight face when Zoolander breaks out those one-legged shenanigans again.<\/p>\n