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{"id":422751,"date":"2021-05-10T11:42:29","date_gmt":"2021-05-10T16:42:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.f3nola.com\/2021\/05\/10\/marsh-madness-2021-from-zoolander\/"},"modified":"2021-05-16T17:55:27","modified_gmt":"2021-05-16T22:55:27","slug":"marsh-madness-2021-from-zoolander","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.f3nola.com\/2021\/05\/10\/marsh-madness-2021-from-zoolander\/","title":{"rendered":"Marsh Madness 2021 – from Zoolander"},"content":{"rendered":"

Welcome to Marsh Madness 2021. Twenty-four Pax converged upon the Milestone Marsh for this second-time event1<\/p>\n

In the presence of the Pick Axe-entrusted Freedom Hammer, we started with a quick disclaimer, Warmorama, Bushwacker-style2 instructions, and then the THANG. <\/p>\n

The Pax counted off in 4\u2019s and formed 4 x 6ish-man teams at each corner of the court with a basketball. While 1 member of each team backpedaled with their ball to half court, performed a Bobby Hurley, and drove to goal for a shot of his choosing:<\/p>\n

– Layup (1 point),
\n– Free Throw (2 points), or
\n– Three point shot (3 points)
\nZero points for missed shots<\/p>\n

the rest of each team completed the following series of exercises in cadence led by a rotating corner Q.
\n\u2022\tBurpees
\n\u2022\tAir Presses
\n\u2022\tShoulder Tap Merkins
\n\u2022\tCopperhead Jump Squats
\n\u2022\tLBCs
\n\u2022\tPlank Jacks
\n\u2022\tMonkey Humpers
\n\u2022\tFlutter Kicks
\nEach man – including FNGs, 2nd timers, and celebrity guests – had multiple chances to lead the cadence. <\/p>\n

Shooters marked their points with sidewalk chalk and fell in line to call the cadence for the next exercise. It took a few rounds before each team found its own rhythm, but after that it was like watching a philharmonic orchestra playing Mary had a little lamb.
\nAfter \u201c40 minutes of hell,\u201d team member points were tallied, and the highest scoring individual from each of the 4 teams were down-bracketed to a 5-shot \u201cAround-the-World\u201d shoot out on their respective side of the court. The rest of the Pax performed Goofballs and Side Straddle Hops to distract the Final Four shooters.
\nGrundy, with accountant like focus, out-calculated Speedy;
\nOcho outdanced Whip. <\/p>\n

Grundy and Ocho were then down-bracketed to compete in a best-of-10 shootout from the free throw line. As luck would have it, they tied, and we went to Sudden Death from the Three Point line. Despite Ocho\u2019s shenanigans, Grundy stomped the Stomper and emerged as the 2021 Marsh Madness champion!<\/p>\n

–\tTrophy
\n–\tCount-orama
\n–\tName-orama – Welcome FNGs Sonar (EH\u2019d by Turbo Tax) and Gomer Pyle (EH\u2019d by Sparky).
\n–\tAnnouncements
\n o\tNorthshore 5-year convergence led by Waterpik at the Lakefront on April 10.
\n o\tNext F3\/FiA mixer is 4\/29. Thank you Jose10k, some of us do have to plan ahead for weeknight workouts.
\n o\tZOORICH CLASSIC at the Lakefront on April 24. (See how I slipped that in there Cowbell?\u2026never too early!) <\/p>\n

QIC prayed us out and group photo followed. Great job by all. We\u2019ll see if Grundy can defend his title in 2022. Thanks for playing along men. See you in the next Gloom.<\/p>\n

Footnotes:
\n1Seriously, footnotes in a Backblast? Why not? The first Marsh Madness was in 2019 with a small, dare I say Elite, group of 8. Bird was an FNG and drained 16 x 3-point shots. The B-ball gods did not favor him today though. And well, Corona (as it was called back then) had other plans in \u201820.<\/p>\n

2Bushwacker-style instructions typically include circumlocutory, sesquipedalian musings about man\u2019s ultimate life purpose with some semblance of what the Pax should be doing for the next 40-50 minutes. They are often accompanied by Mumble Chatter and confusion by all within earshot. Bushwacker-style instructions are the exact opposite of Turbo-style instructions, which are direct, concise, and never to be interrupted without penalty.<\/p>\n