Bushwacker:
Welcome to the Zoo-rich classic everyone and thank you for tuning in! Excited is just not a big enough of a word to accurately describe how I’m feeling today.
Jose-10k:
You took the words right out of my mouth Wacker. Covid-19 took many things from us, but I think we can all agree that it crossed the line when it forced the Zoo-rich classic to be cancelled in 2020.
Bushwacker:
You got that right. It was tragic. I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that this event might be the biggest source of hope and inspiration for America.
Jose-10k: AND THE WORLD!
Bushwacker: So here we are. The moment we have been waiting for for over 2 years. It is time for the Zoo-rich classic! And nothing, I MEAN NOTHING, can stop this thing from happe…
We interrupt this broadcast to inform you that the Zoo-rich classic is currently in a weather delay and has been officially postponed until 5/1/2021. We thank you for your patience and do hope you enjoy today’s programming brought to you by the washed up wanna-be trainer Grundy.
The Warm-Up
We started with the following exercises in-cadence:
* SSH
* Seal Jacks
* Windmills
* Imperial Walkers
* Cherry Pickers
*Arm-Circles
We continued with the warm-up by lining up on the base line in a bear crawl formation. We did a alligator crawl together across the court where we stopped to do 2 merkins every third movement.
The next sequence turned out to be way harder than the Q anticipated. We split the group in half and each took a corner of the basketball court. We went around the court in circles doing gorilla crawls from baseline to baseline, and side crawls between the two baselines. We went for 10 minutes which worked out to be 4 trips around the court (after 2 trips we went the opposite counter clockwise). I definitely didn’t anticipate it being that difficult in my head when I made it up. Live and learn.
The Main Event
We walked over to grab the cinderblocks for what was the main thing the Q wanted to do that day. It was an exercise sequence first introduced to me by an Israeli personal trainer named Sagi Kalev. In it, the Q almost splashed merlot after attempting it for the first time. In the exercise Sagi gave some incredible advice, he said “When you feel like you can’t go anymore and you want to drop the weight and quit, what you need to do is… NOT QUIT!!!”
The Q couldn’t offer any better advice to the PAX than that. Let’s do this thing!
In this sequence the first step is to assume a lunged position over the cinderblock. Next you grab the block overhand using the opposite hand of your outstretched leg while the other hand grabs the backside underhanded. Straighten your back and try to keep the weight as much as you can to be right underneath your outstretched leg so when you straighten your leg in the lunge, the weight will hit the middle of your hamstring. As soon as you begin holding the weight underneath like that, your leg gets put into a tension that will not be relieved due to its positioning until you drop the weight. It makes it very difficult to cheat.
The sequence then begins by doing 7 reps of the lunge by straightening your leg until the coupon hits your hamstring. After the 7 reps you go back to the starting position and begin a 10 count hold. (REPEAT SEQUENCE FOR 7 ROUNDS (COUGH COUGH sometimes 8 rounds)…
We didn’t have enough cinderblocks for everyone to do the sequence at the same time so half the group did merkins and held a plank in the same cadence as everyone else. Rinsed and repeated on the opposite leg (and did squats and al gores the second round instead of merkins)
Great job men!
We walked back over to center court and did a core sequence that got named “Slot Machines” which really turned out to be quite effective.
We went back to the monkey bars and did some forearm and grip training by hanging on a bar for different lengths of time interspersed with merkins.
We circled up, counted off, and Waterpik closed us out.
(Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. We thank you for your patience. Enjoy the Zoo-rich Classic)
…ning!!!!
