‘Twas an Epic Battle
The morning dawned bright and clear at El Diablo as 10 PAX made their way to the flag, having made the wise choice to avoid the pot-hole ridden millennial Frisbee game Uptown. You could feel the wonder and anticipation permeating in the crisp November air as questions swirled in the minds of the PAX present; what did Fast Tax have in store for us? Would there be chocolate as promised? Did I leave the iron on?
After a quick disclaimer, we moseyed to our usual warm-up area by the rocks accompanied by Fracsac’s and Bogie’s moaning about it being a sprint instead of a mosey.
Just for Hokie, YHC modified his regimented game plan to begin with Hillbillies, for a reason that I can no longer remember…something to do with some team winning something…
Remaining warmups consisted of:
o Arm Circles (fwd and bwd)
o Seal Claps
o Skydiving Australian Snow Angels
Right as warmups completed, we were joined by Stripes, (Fast Tax 2.0) having returned from deployment.
Unwilling to jump right into the main event, YHC selected the Ascending Testicles to kick things off: 10 Merkins OYO at 15 degrees (hold for PAX), 10 Merkins at 45 degrees, and hold at 90 degrees (aka balls to the wall).
The next exercise, the Bruce Lee, would test the bounds of the concentration or understanding of many of the PAX (apparently), since the difficulty evident in following directions was paramount.
The Bruce Lee was supposed to consist of 3 sets of 15 reps of each the following: Hammer, Leg Lifts, Dying Cockroach, LBCs, Heel Touch, and Crunchy Frog, with a 30 sec rest b/t sets.
However, with time and comprehension both limited, YHC wisely decided to push on to the next event, the Flip-Flop.
The Flip-Flop is a 2-PAX team exercise that begins on a starting line with PAX 1 flipping a pallet end over end to a designated finish line while PAX 2 lunges to the same line holding a 35-40lb rock. PAX switch at the line and race back. Admittedly, YHC could have engineered more creative uses for the pallets (thanks to Hokie for the pallet loaner) but, I didn’t want to take too much time away from the main event.
After returning rocks and pallets, we moseyed to the field for the big reveal…BATTLE FRISBURPEE.
To the wonder and delight of those in attendance, YHC explained the concept and the rules.
Battle Frisburpee – The Concept:
A blend of ultimate Frisbee and dodgeball, with an emphasis on individual burpee punishment, played running the width of a football field as the length and the 5 and 20 yard lines as the left and right boundaries. Each sides goal began 5 yards in from the corresponding end. This equates to a field 160 yds from end to end, including a 5 yd end zone on each side, and a width of 15 yards (or more if more than 10 players).
Battle Frisburpee – The Rules:
To score, a PAX must catch the Frisbee in the opposing team’s end zone (duh).
When a team scores, the entire opposing team must do 4 burpees.
If the Frisbee is dropped, i.e. thrown but not caught, the last person it touches (usually the one throwing it or the one who muffed the catch) must immediately drop and do 4 burpees. The Frisbee is still “live” and is treated as a fumble, any nearby PAX from either team can pick it up and resume play.
If the Frisbee goes out of bounds, the last person it touches (usually the one throwing it or whoever it hits on the way out) must immediately drop and do 4 burpees. The Frisbee is “dead” and is treated like a soccer ball that went out of bounds, i.e. the opposing team now stands at the spot it went out and immediately resumes play (without waiting for burpees to be completed).
If either of the player’s feet or any part of the Frisbee itself crosses the boundary, it is deemed out of bounds (clarification provided for Frac’s sake).
Each team must appoint a “Baller” to act as a goalie of sorts. The Baller stays in the end zone and can throw the dodgeball at any approaching opposing team member, whether they are holding a Frisbee or not. A player hit with the ball, must immediately drop the Frisbee, if carrying one, and do 4 burpees. The Frisbee is still “live” and can be picked up by anyone else.
The Baller is the only one who can throw the ball at an opposing player and the Baller must throw only from the end zone.
The player is only “hit” if the ball doesn’t touch the ground first.
With that out of the way YHC will finish the tale…
Team 1: Fast Tax, Stripes, Bolt, Shooter, and Triple Shift
Team 2: Boo-Boo, Hokie, Bogie, Frac Sac, Hawg, and Rudy
The battle was close and hard fought…not really. It was close for the first 2 points, then admittedly, Team 2 pulled ahead, clearly due to their height advantage over Team 1. After several close calls and numerous burpees, Team 2 walked away with bragging rights, with a final score of 4-1.
With game over we headed to COT for name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer.
Followed by Coffeteria at PJs.
Thanks for the fellowship!
SYITG
