Conditions: Partly Cloudy, 64 degrees. Humidity 83%. Wind 10.5 m/h from S.
As promised, an FNG showed up at El Diablo this morning. YHC took control and gave a very succinct and informative overview of the five core principles. Not to be outdone, Frac immediately started throwing his weight around and started making up stuff on the fly. He said YHC needed to assign a person to the FNG to get to know him throughout the work out. That person will then be responsible for sharing the information during the COT. Looking past the humiliation of having my power usurped I agreed to the idea and selected Pinewood for this task, given he was standing next to the FNG and they looked to be about the same age.
Pinewood immediately declined the role, stating that he had no desire to get to know the FNG. Instead, he planned to put all of his efforts this morning into getting the Mt. Carmel girls running on the track to notice the mustache he has been carefully cultivating. For the next few minutes, we stared at him, asked him to move under the light, asked him to tilt his head in various ways, and then all finally agreed that we could indeed see the moustache he was talking about.
I looked around the group seeing if there was anyone I wanted to pair the FNG with. Bogey had his hand raised high in the air as he jumped up and down yelling, “Pick me! Pick me!” I continued to scan the audience, looking for anyone. Bogey continued his jumping. I decided two people would be better than one, so I chose Thumb War and Mayhem.
The work out went something like this:
Warm-up: SSH x 31, Imperial Walkers x 15, Windmills x 10, Squats x 15
Not wanting to make the FNG work out in the sticker grass at his first workout, I opted instead to circle up in a gravel pit at the end of the track. From there we did a Dirty McDeuce
Round 1: Merkins, Lunges, Big Bois, Run a lap
Round 2: Ranger Merkins, Monkey Humpers, Dying Cockroaches, Run a lap
Round 3: Larry Craigs, Sumo Squats, Russian Twists, Run a lap
Round 4: Carolina Dry Docks, Bobby Hurleys, Crunchy Frogs, Run a lap
It was clear that Bogey did not care who was actually assigned to get to know the FNG. He was talking up the FNG from the very beginning, although we only heard Bogey’s voice…we never heard the FNG say anything.
Next we moseyed to the wall for 2 rounds of Chicken Peckers and 1 round of Balls to the Wall.
Then we moseyed to the playground for a station rotation:
Station 1: L Hangs
Station 2: Squats
Station 3: Incline Merkins or Dips
Station 4: Step Ups
Station 5: Burpees x 10
At this point, it became clear that Mayhem and Thumb War each thought the other was the FNG and they had spent the entire workout trying to get to know each other. So I suppose it as a good thing that Bogey at least took the initiative to tell the FNG all about himself.
At COT, we welcomed Spanx to the fold. There was great discussion about who actually gets credit for bringing in the New Guy. Frac Sac tried to take credit since Spanx filling out his contact info on the national website eventually led to Frac getting a text. Bogey swears he Eh’d a runner at Pontiff named Brian, or Billy, or Bill. Triple will surely try to take credit since Spanx does his laundry there. But Spanx settled the discussion when he told us how he noticed this guy at Pontiff running with the F3 group in flip-flops. At that moment, he said to himself, “I want to be like that man. I need to get in that group.”
So you’re welcome F3.
After COT there was TLC and PLC. IYKYK.
