Conditions: 47 degrees. Feels like 42. Humidity 66%. Wind 11 mph from NNE.
Last two Tuesdays have been rainy, putting the track out of commission. There also haven’t been any runners show up the last two Tuesdays, so YHC has done the Interval Workout from some free XC training guide I found on the internet. Two weeks ago was 400m intervals. Last week was 1000m intervals. This week was scheduled to be 600m intervals. However, I figured I would just do the Wally Sprint workout du jour instead.
I arrived a little late, but earlier than Triple Shift. Frac, what looked like a mummy, and Charmin were jogging forward on the track. Kennah Bruh, in an ode to his KnOT brethren was running backwards. As I caught up to him, he took a swig of the 40 in his hand, poured a little on the ground as he recited the names of Scantron, Rougarou, and Hokie; slammed the remaining malt liquor and then turned around and started jogging to catch Charmin.
I caught up to Frac and the mummy. I asked them what the plan was. Frac said there was none. I could see now that the mummy was wrapped in performance gear. It mumbled an answer, but I couldn’t understand it. I pitched them on my idea of running 600m repeats at a 5K race pace with 200m jog recoveries. They immediately said yes (or in the mummy’s case something that sounded like yes under 6 layers of North Face). This was too easy. What else could I sell these guys. Have they heard about the free Upside App? Frac and the Mummy….if you all are reading this, use code 6KP9R after downloading the free Upside App to save up to $0.25 per gallon at participating gas stations It’s real cash and the money can be transferred to your checking account. Regular users can earn up to $300 per year.
We finished the 1 mile warm-up and I led everyone to the line I had drawn in the sand. I instructed everyone on the plan: run 600m at 5K race pace and jog a 200m recovery. Repeat until time is up. Charmin suddenly became indignant. “Oh okay….let me get out my calculator and figure out my 5k race pace…..How the $*@!#@ am I supposed to know what my @#$&@#’n 5K race pace is?” He finished this profanity laced tirade and stood there staring at me in his Corporate Classic shirt he had received while running a 5K race last Saturday. “I’m not sure,” I replied. “I guess you would have to have recently run a 5K race to know that information.”
I eventually caught up to Triple Shift to give him the instructions. It was a formality. No one has ever had to encourage Triple by saying “you do you.”
We finished the intervals with about 5 minutes left. Then we finished the workout Ethiopian Style. Ethiopian distance runners are famous for finishing each workout with sprints. At least that is what the internet tells me. As we started our first sprint, we all saw how athletic the mummy is. Crazy fast for something that has been dead for thousands of years. Unfortunately, due to all the wrappings, the mummy heard Ethiopian Mile….not Ethiopian Style. It was gone. The rest of us recovered for two more sprints. Then Triple Shift taught us all a lesson in race preparation. After walking for 38 minutes, he easily won the final sprint. The mummy almost caught him as it finished its 4 minute mile, but as I told the Mummy “close only counts in hand grenades and horseshoes.” It then bolted across the tracks, presumably to tell Hand Grenada that his Horse was loose.
