One might ask why someone would willingly hang around a group of guys who without fail would say that they hate them at the end every workout. To continue to endure that type of verbal abuse for 4 and a half years seems insane. But on this specific July 10th, those words would not be obligatorily uttered any more. The word “hate” would be replaced by silence. On this specific day, YHC moved over into the realm of “Those Who Shall Not be Named” (Those Who Shall Not be Named = The age group of 30-49 where you earn no extra “hate” or “respect”).
I was now free of hate but had strangely grown accustomed to hearing it! So, in order to receive the word I had heard every workout for 4 ½ years, I had to give the PAX another reason to “hate” me. No problem, that would be a “cake walk”.
Pre-Thang
Normal warmup sequence commenced In Cadence ranging from 10-30 counts.
• SSH
• Windmills
• Good Mornings
• Arm Circle Series
The Q then took the PAX on a longer than typical mosey to Milestone Marsh where the cake walk would begin.
The Thang
Credit Zoolander for saying the week previously that it would be funny to create a workout sequence called the “cake walk” that actually was really difficult. Challenge accepted! Since the beatdown would be on the Qs actual 30th birthday, it just made too much sense to create a workout that had the word “cake” in it. After a quick poll via GroupMe from both the Northshore and Southshore, a quick list of most “hated” exercises were gathered. From there, the Q just worked in the number of the day “30” and the (birthday) “cake walk” was born.
The cake walk goes like this. Start on the baseline of the basketball court, you will begin with 30 lunge pulses on the right side pausing on every fifth rep for a five count hold before continuing the reps. Continue until every rep is complete. Once finished, you crab walk to half court (you can thank Zoolander again for suggesting this one on GroupMe) to do 29 Sister Mary Catherines. Crab walk back to the baseline for 28 Carolina Dry Docks. Crab walk to half court for 27 Bulgarian split squats (right side). Crab walk one more time back to the baseline for 26 manmakers in cadence (a real crowd pleaser). After you finish that, this is where you can insert a ten count or two since there is no crab walk after the manmakers which means you will still be on the baseline of the basketball court.
You repeat the sequence of descending reps of Lunge Pulses, Sister Mary Catherines, Carolina Dry Docks, Bulgarian Split Squats, and Manmakers starting now on 25. For every sequence of the 5 exercises, you switch which leg you would do for the lunges and Bulgarian split squats. So, in the second sequence you would do your left side. Continue this sequence until you do the last manmaker!
Finishing this was quite a challenge and the lack of mumblechatter just further evidenced that fact. Although, legend has it that Barely Legal is still out there doing his speedy crab walks! The workout was done, and the time showed 7:29 AM when we finished the last manmaker. We were half a mile from the lakefront flag but the PAX was gracious with their sentimental Q on this day. We decided that despite the time, we would take a nice walk back most of the way to the flag.
Once we arrived around the flag we were able to officially welcome our newest FNG Pro Bono! After that I was able to express my gratitude to a group of men who quite literally shaped the man I am today. A group who showed me that as we strengthened our bodies we were also strengthening our friendships, leadership capabilities, and character. I wouldn’t trade this group of men and the lessons I’ve learned for anything and am beyond honored to simply be a part of the group. And although I will never hear the required berating of “hate” after my name again, I will never stop feeling the care that I’ve felt from the first day when I showed up one Saturday morning back in February of 2017. A feeling of care that has continued to grow and which actually feels a lot like love.
Until Next Time,
Grundy (He Who Must Not be Named)
