Ah, there was holiday spirit in the chilly, night air: the smell of firewood burning, the twinkling of white Christmas lights, and, of course, the angry mutterings of one Jose 10k exiting his car. Apparently, Cowbell had pulled up behind him and, with the height difference between the two cars, Cowbell’s headlights were blinding Mr. 10k. “I felt like I should be doing surgery in there!” And thus the tone was set for a magical beatdown – short but sweet – with a Christmas theme to spread a little holiday misery on this cold, Thursday night.
Along with a disclaimer issued for the FNG, YHC warned the crew that this beatdown was hastily thrown together after stumbling upon the idea, The 12 Days of Christmas, which may or may not be something that Yankee did (or does every year?). I apparently don’t even know how the song goes – I tried to do the ladder the wrong way, starting at 1 each time. Wouldn’t you know, Jose quickly corrected me, and we got down to business.
- THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
- Day 1: 1x Burpee
- Day 2: 2x Merkins
- Day 3: 3x Triple Jump Squat Burpees
- Day 4: 4x Monkey Humpers (IC)
- Day 5: 5x Sister Mary Katherine’s (2 is 1)
- Day 6: 6x Triple Merkin Burpees
- Day 7: 7x Sit-Ups
- Day 8: 8x T-Merkins
- Day 9: 9x Groiners
- Day 10: 10x Crunchy Frogs (IC)
- Day 11: 11x Freak Nasties (IC)
- Day 12: 12x Derkins
We sped through the first couple days and then things really slowed once we hit a few triple jump squat / triple merkin burpees. Somewhere around Day 3 we learned that Jose can sing, and that an aspiring sleuth might actually be able to track down video of him belting out “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.” Around Day 9, Jose’s partner Amnesia turned up, fresh out of quarantine with his incredibly well-lit cargo bike (think the infamous neon “rave” vest). And by Day 12, it was indeed a Christmas miracle that we had only gone over on time by 30 seconds (which is within the acceptable margin as set forth by the F3 Nation charter).
COT and nameorama, where we welcomed FNG Red Baron. Yes, he is named after the frozen pizza. Seems dumb, I know, to name a guy because he likes pizza. But no, really, this is a thing with this guy – his groom’s cake was decorated as a pizza, that’s how much pizza means to him. (Which probably means that he will need F3 even more in his future.). So welcome Red Baron, hope to see you again soon, and t-claps to Cowbell from bringing out an FNG.
Onward to the Barley Oak, where Zoo was patiently waiting, sipping a beer in the corner, ready to dispense his wisdom on how to make duck edible (tacos) for those duck hunters who actually hate duck (Cowbell). Thanks for the lead gentlemen, and for the F2 – it’s always a good time, even when it’s a bad time.
And hey, don’t forget Akbar’s 50th birthday Q this Saturday!
