F3 New Orleans

Tag: Zoolander

  • We did the Mash – from Russo

    Pax of 19 (including special guests like Paul Skenes, Creepy Baby, Green Alien, Bear Bird, Spider Man, and the Dude) for a scary good time this morning YHC referred to as the Northshore Monster Mash, with weather in the upper 60s and the sun finally appearing midway through.

    Warmup 10x-15x IC
    – Sealjacks
    – Torso twists
    – Cherry pickers
    – Toe touches
    I honestly can’t remember because I was distracted, laughing way too hard at the alien head bobbing up and down, side to side like it wasn’t even connected. Thank you, QP, for inadvertently providing the hardest I’ve laughed in quite a while.

    Thang

    First up: Count 1-2-3 (Partner Frankenstein walks to the sidewalk and moseys back)
    122 merkins
    222 zombie squats
    322 gas pumps

    Next up: Electric chair
    Using the sea wall:
    – Durkins
    – Urkins
    – Freak Nastys
    – Bulgarian split squats
    – Step ups
    – Box jumps

    Then: Trick or treat (Using a deck of cards, perform the exercise and rep count. Next round, member of Pax guesses higher or lower than previous card. Correct guess and the rep count is cut in half (treat). Incorrect guess and the rep count is doubled (trick)

    Exercises:
    Jump squats
    Shoulder tap plank jacks
    T merkins
    American hammers
    Crunchy frogs
    SMCs
    Crab cakes
    Star jumps
    Monkey Humpers
    Donkey kicks
    Kid N plays

    Somewhere in the middle was a jump scare (the best part of a horror movie, despite some insisting the best part was “the end”): 10 burpees out of nowhere!

    Finally: Ouija Board (or Ouija Bord because we ran out of time) – Tabata 40 seconds on, 20 seconds rest
    O – Outlaws (circle ups)
    U – Urkins
    I – Imperial walkers
    J – Jack Webbs (1 Merkin, 4 air presses)
    A – Absolution
    B – Box jumps
    O – Outlaws
    R – Reverse lunges
    D – Donkey kicks

    One final jump scare of 10 burpees and we were done.

    COT, NOR, Announcements, Prayer. Keep in mind that Akbar has Q next week, there are beatdowns throughout the week, the Turkey Trot is coming up (although Jose is going to leave YHC in the dust with the progress he is making on his runs), and Bushwacker’s camping trip is a week from today. Slack will have more info.

    Thank you all for joining today. It was a blast and we’ll do it again next year. I appreciate each and every one of you.

    SYITG

  • Get your Rucksack – from Waterpik

    Despite the drop in temps and beautiful mornings, ruckers have outnumbered runners at the scramble the past couple of weeks.

    The Q sheet is empty, please sign up to Q.

    Have a good week guys

  • Escalating IPC – from Russo

    75 degrees to start this morning, for a split IPC / non-IPC beatdown at the lakefront.

    Warmup – there was one, but Jose had YHC distracted with discussion of soft hands, tailbone skin, and defibrillators.

    Thang

    7 for IPC week 2 (lots of running, modified burpees and merkins) and 5 for non-IPC, including Steve who joined us about halfway through because the 4 of us were basically camped out in front of his house arguing about the merits of Notre Dame’s schedule and the coaching acumen of Brian Kelly.

    Non -IPC was what YHC calls the Escalator: 10 round of 10 exercises. Each exercise gets a rep count from 1 to 10 depending on round. 55 reps for each total. Or, as Chewy succinctly summarized: “So, Soduku?”

    Exercises
    – Partner merkins
    – Jump squats
    – Leg raises
    – Star Jumps
    – Imperial squat walkers (2 is 1)
    – Donkey kicks
    – Big boy sit-ups
    – Wide merkins
    – Kid N Plays (2 is 1)
    – Murder bunnies

    COT, NOR, Annoucements, Prayer. Big thanks for the healthy Cowbell twins, special intentions for Egg Toss’ mom, Steve’s MIL, and JV’s sister.

    Turkey trot is coming, sign up to Q, show up to get beatdown. Step out of your comfort zone and make a weekday beatdown, even if it has to be the A1C.

    I appreciate all of you HIM. SYITG

  • Time for cake (and fall?) – from Russo

    MUCH better weather all of a sudden today for a split beatdown. YHC, who is hot and sweaty when it’s a December morning, might even call is “mildly pleasant”. Up is down. Down is up. Cats and dogs living together. REGARDLESS, what a blessing some relief from the oppressive heat was.

    Warmup (10x, all IC)

    -Torso Twists
    -Toe touches
    -Arm circles
    -Grass grabbers
    -Cherry pickers

    Thang: While Grundy took half the pax in an IPC with coupons and AMRAP and burpees and pain, YHC took the other half on a cakewalk around the lakefront.

    The cakewalk order:

    45 Seal jacks
    44 High knees (2 is 1)
    43 SSHs
    42 Plank Jacks
    41 goof balls
    40 squats
    39 Hello Dollies
    38 Calf raises
    37 Apollo ohnos
    36 Freak Nastys
    35 step ups
    34 flutter kicks
    33 butt kicks IC
    32 Peter Parker’s
    31 imperial walkers
    30 Shoulder taps
    29 American hammers
    28 Monkey Humpers
    27 Merkins
    26 Smurf jacks
    25 wife pleasers
    24 Rosalitas
    23 crab jacks (crab position – think reverse plank jacks)
    22 groiners
    21 Bear crawls (counting your right hand as a rep)
    20 murder bunnies

    At this point, we said hello to a gentleman (Tom) working on his boat. Pik EHed him and he joined us for the rest of the walk. Come to find out, he knows Steve and Bird. Here’s to his rejoining is soon and getting a proper F3 name.

    19 Wide merkins
    18 Bobby Hurley’s
    17 crab cakes
    16 circle ups
    15 Bulgarian split squats
    14 urkins
    13 Sister Mary Catherine’s
    12 LMCs IC
    11 diamond merkins
    10 star jumps
    9 donkey kicks
    8 8 count body builders
    7 merkins
    6 Box cutters IC
    5 Carolina dry docks
    4 Wife pleasers
    3 jump squats
    2 burpees
    1 minute plank

    COT, name-o-rama, announcements, and prayer closed us out. Prayers for our brothers running the 5k today, a special intention from Zoolander, and a successful delivery for Cowbell and his M on twins A and B (soon to be renamed) this week.

    Here’s to a good week for all.

    SYITG

  • Tuesdays with Granny – from Chewy

    YHC wanted to share with you about a fantastic morning with the Pax at the Mandeville Trailhead. The session was invigorating, starting with a 15-minute yoga session with a vinyasa flow. The energy remained high as they moved on to step-ups supersetted with incline push-ups and step-ups supersetted with shoulder taps.

    The group’s dedication was truly inspiring as they tackled a series of stair climbs followed by squat jumps, starting from 11 reps and working their way down to 1 rep. A round of stop-motion lunges and single-leg Romanian deadlifts kept the momentum going, pushing their limits further.

    The session concluded with gluteal bridges and side planks, leaving everyone feeling accomplished and motivated. The sense of community and shared determination among the PAC made this morning one to remember. Looking forward to more empowering sessions like these!

  • Return of The Ruck – from Steve

    I feel like that may have been a BB title a few months back? The Rucking Crew, Ruck Off, Ruck in the Middle With You…. I don’t know, the puns are endless but my little mind seems to go to the same old, tired ones. Regardless – the ruckers have returned! At least, for one scramble outing. With JV off to Warsaw and Nuremberg and other WWII-affiliated cities, it could all fall apart next week. But his and Akbar’s return this week couldn’t have been better timing for the tireless Russo, who suffered some sort of heat exhaustion last Saturday and was fully prepared to ruck alone if necessary. This heat is no joke.

    And this Thursday morning was no different – the same brutal conditions we’ve been dealing with for months now. Pelican, who hibernates in the summer, may well stay hidden until 2024 the way this summer has been going.

    YHC can no longer say we took the “usual route” since there is no usual route these days. Shooter likes takes us on a walkabout through the jungles of Greenleaves and the wilderness of Mariner’s Blvd., seeking out uncharted territory (or trying to lose us), while Pik prefers the lakefront loop and back, and Bushwacker, well, YHC didn’t experience it, but Bushwacker prefers something called “Follow the Leader,” which involves parkour and stunts that might be found on MTV’s Jackass. Hey, to each his own. YHC prefers the Pik route, so we did that – the runners hit Coffee and looped back, while the ruckers did a 17 minute out and back.

    All survived. Few complaints. And that’s because these men know what it’s like out there in the “real world.” Well… let’s say that with most of these men being in their mid-40’s, they’re at least beginning to get a vague idea of this real world. If you think you’ve experienced it, just ask Hammer’s dad. You’re probably close, but not quite there yet.

    Thank you men for the camaraderie and the accountability, appreciate you all.

  • Hurt Locker – from Akbar

    You’ll know it when you’re in it. Google definition: to physically mess someone up, badly. AKA a world of pain.

    Unlike the movie – we weren’t disarming bombs in the heat of combat, recklessly plunging men into a deadly game of urban combat, didn’t have to control a wild leader, no cities exploding into chaos, and may not have changed every man’s character forever.

    There wasn’t even a locker per se, but the 13 men who showed up to make themselves better for the day were in a sense locked into the beatdown.

    Did we have to overcome obstacles? Were we challenged? Was there sweat and complaints? Absolutely. There was enough bang to send us all to Jesus, but we didn’t die. We made ourselves better today.

    Conditions 79,WNW wind 4, 5% cloud cover, still hot

    Warm Up: x10 IC: SSH, Imperial Walkers, Hillbillies, Grass Grabbers, Self-Love, Toe Touches, Windmills, Merkin, Squat, 2 burpees
    _____________________

    Mosey toward the Gazebo for the main thang at the wall, with various moseys to the street and back in between. 20 reps for the first exercise, 30 for the second, and 2 burpees to wrap it up.

    Merkin, Squat, Burpees
    Dirkin, LBC, Burpees
    Irkin, Sumo Squat, Burpees
    Stone Mountain, American Hammers, Burpees
    Merkin, Lunges, Burpees
    Dirkin, Mountain Climber, Burpees
    Irkin, Sweat Angels, Burpees
    Wide Merkin, SSH, Burpees

    _____________________
    11’s at the wall – Freak Nasties and Supermans with a run in between

    7’s – Plank Jacks and Squats, Bear Crawl/run

    _____________________
    Mosey back to the flag for a Mountain Climber Ring of Fire

    Hold plank, start with 1 MC and add 1 each time around the circle – ended up stopping at 5.

    ____________________
    6 minutes of Mary, x10 IC

    LBC, Wife Pleaser, E2k, Little Manny crunches, Nolan Ryan, Heels to Heaven, Flutter
    Kicks, Plank, Down Dog, Cobra

    Count, Name, and Mathlete prayed us out.

    _____________________
    Announcements

    Iron Pax: Week 0 next week
    Grow Run NOLA – need more men or the event will be canceled. See Slack for details and sign up, or get with Fracsac
    Never forget 5k run/walk in Covington, Sept 9th

    Thanks for following my lead👊
    SYITG – Akbar

  • The 2nd Annual St. Vincent 500 – from Paradox

    THE FELLOWSHIP THANG

    Often times during large events there are pivotal moments that go unnoticed. One minuscule decision where success or failure hinges upon a singular action. Sometimes these remain in the dark. An unsung hero never revealed. Silently knowing the weight of their contribution. But during the 2nd annual St Vincent 500 this very thing occurred and today we shall shed the light.

    Ya see, It was early during the St. Vincent 500 cookout on Friday evening, the music was fine (shoutout Caniacs) and the delicious jambalaya was flowing, courtesy of Headcheese and the Bourgeois Meat Market. Just one small problem,…We …well folks we had a trash issue. In haste YHC had mistakenly grabbed bathroom trash bags to put into 32-gallon trash cans. Ya hate to see it.
    The jambalaya plates were stacking up. The bags stretched thin. Lil Cuz disgusted he could not throw away his plate and immediately eat another and you know how he gets when he’s hungry for JUMBOlaya!
    All seemed lost.

    With the event Teetering on the brink of mass hysteria I heard a low confident voice at my shoulder. A voice molded by years of unheard lectures, it was calm and consoling.
    “Dox, take deep a deep breath, I can fix this”
    I turned and saw it in his eyes, this man was all in.

    “Fly! Fly like the wind Jeaux! You are our only hope!” I yelled as the tires of the douche wagon squealed silently and our knight in the blue Prius faded away on eastbound 308.
    We held our breath ..…

    If you are still with me (and it’s an excused absence if not)
    You may now be asking yourself “What does an eco-friendly sedan and a garbage mishap have to do with the greatest beatdown fundraiser west Lafourche has ever seen?”

    Well…everything

    Duke! Roll that footage it’s time to go racing, and we have a pharmacy in need !!

    26 High impact men assembled at the Stage for the 2nd annual St Vincent 500.
    Our local crew showed up in force early to set the course. Pretty sure Smooth camped out like Woodstock, living on Bourgeois Jambalaya and dat Dawg was STILL hungry for coupon OHPs. Many hands made light work as we counted our pennies and made notes to all our 2.0 investors that their tuppens would be well borrowed. Our brothers from the north and south shores soon arrived. Some early chatter that the noted absences from NOLA were due to late night promo code camp outs for the T-Swift tour. YHC will expect courtesy tickets for …”a friend”

    The Northshore gang rolled in just in time. The legend of Tanked Up had been propelled all year after his awe inspiring performance at the 22 SV. He strolled in trophy in hand with Grundy at his side using the Theragun with precision intimidation to all our pax. Reluctant Yankee and Sandbar came in strong followed by Zoolander with Blue steel good looks even at 6:30a. Just like that it was go time!

    THE FITNESS THANG

    The Stage was set, and Goose was elected as Q for his exemplary public speaking and dashing short shorts. He led us in a thorough race explanation and warmup with side glances at Yankee about to establish a no tolerance policy for shakira shimmy Bonnie Blair’s.

    The race is a 2 man event covering 1 mile with 20 exercise stations interspersed on the course around Richman’s loop. Just a simple fun run ya know.
    You have 1 hour to traverse the course and at each station picking up points as you go.
    There are three levels at each station : gold(25) silver (15) bronze (10) with 500 points available if your dare.

    The stations set by Goose this year and he was in the zoneeee:

    Thrusters: 30, 60, 90
    · Hello Dollys: 50, 100, 150
    · Curls: 50, 150, 250
    · Burpees: 30, 50, 100
    · WWI situps: 40, 100, 150
    · Genuflections: 40, 60, 100
    · Tricep extensions: 50, 150, 250
    · Gas pumps: 40, 80, 120
    · Apolo Onos (2:1): 40, 60, 100
    · Moroccan Night Clubs (2:1): 100, 200, 300
    · Pickle Pounders: 40, 80, 120
    · Monkey humpers (calves to thighs): 40, 100, 200
    · Coupon OHP: 40, 80, 120
    · Leg Raises: 50, 100, 200
    · Bobby Hurleys: 40, 80, 120
    · Chill cut Peter Parkers (2:1): 30, 60, 100
    · Freddy Mercurys (2:1): 50, 150, 250
    · Bonnie Blairs (2:1): 40, 80, 120
    · Partner Dora (bumper)—Suicide, Mission Impossible plank: 2 rounds for each partner (4 rounds total), 4 rounds for each (8 total), 6 rounds for each (12 total); if need to rest on plank, have to tell running partner to pause
    · Partner Dora (grass)—Lunge Walk there, run back; SSH: 200, 300, 400

    We wrapped up the instructions and warmup and there were no more pleasantries to exchange. Time to go racing.
    The horn blew at 7:22a with most functional teams ready to go at their stations and 1-2 dysfunctional relationships lost at sea.

    Team points and observations below (to my best recollection of the points I jotted down and names, if this is incorrect please write your Representative)

    Dox/ Gecko 175
    We came, We saw…We got a lot of pennies.
    Got Gecko on my 1997 Creatine and peanut butter sandwich diet…early favorites for 2033.

    Dumbledore/GIJoe 180
    Classic pairing here of a rookie with untapped potential and the OG of Ogs, veteran GI Joe. Can we talk about Dumbledores first two posts: A Thursday paradiddle followed by the SV500 would make most veterans reconsider their C’s or HC’s but he silently showed up and put in some absolute work! Killer postfolio hes building.
    Also tons of local reports out of 12 Cedars that Joe has ditched the golf clubs and has been black ops prepping on the streets of Thibodaux. Don’t call it a comeback this man is a regular. #GIJOE4LYFE

    Wet Tap/Spec 200
    Unstoppable forces plowing through immovable objects. These men will humbly do goblet squats for weeks before realizing the rest of us were squatting air.
    Team “Don’t Weaken” lived up to the family creed. Great effort.

    Michelin/Percolator 205
    Team shake and bake coming in hot with Percs OG knowledge all the way from BR. Michelin transforming into a coupon OHP machine in front of our eyes. Ya love to see it. Great to catch up with ya Perc!

    Smooth/Suckle 295
    Officially dubbed Thunder and Lightning these men were a true combination of Rottweiler and Greyhound. HS gets to tell all his ultra friends he did a “1 mile fun run” and Smooth lifted a combined 18-wheeler worth of coupons. Well done.

    Safety Valve/ Cardinal 310
    In most prison movies theres a scene where a old inmate teaches a new guy the ropes. Cardinal fell right into his role here teaching valve the “proper” form on coupon avoidance techniques and how to ask extra questions to buy yourself a ten count. Valve continued to display his quiet strength and running prowess.

    Sandbar/Reluctant Yankee 325
    (*this was a ballpark # recorded post-race and if yall had different, chime in)

    Team Southshore, making it look easy! T-claps to you gents for making the drive, especially for RY for making the early haul after taking his 2.0 to college the night before. Southshore was well represented and we always enjoy the Yankee drop-ins during holidays.

    Cuz/Popeye 325
    Nice performance here from Team Yeet ‘Em and Street Em. Popeye already solidified as the comeback performance of the ’23 pax year and even further padding his stats while carrying Cuz. Don’t get me wrong Cuz was putting in the work, just seemed distracted asking YHC why we couldn’t add the Punisher symbol to the SV500 logo. #TundraTough…. It’s a lifestyle.

    Ronnie/YJ 355
    Many high level analyst saying YJ exercised the demons of 2022 with the tremendous ab and leg prep May – August and despite cranking tents and tables all day on Friday both these men laid down game day strains. Ronnie looking jacked Diesel in that tank sonnn.

    Goose/Zoolander 380
    YHC was setup behind the form as impeccable (as expected) but the push to get the next level (silver to gold) was inspiring. Just two great Pax leaders ripping burpees or was it a Calvin Klein commercial.

    Pope/Paradiddle- 425
    For real, For real! When YHC heard earlier in the week this team was pairing up I had them pegged as a dark horse pick. Pope has shown many traits of having dat dawggg this year and its been so awesome watching him grow and having him at weekday beatdowns.
    If you aren’t local and don’t know the maniac formerly known as Diddle let me read you his bio….

    Favorite song: Numb- Linkin Park
    Likes: Cardio
    Dislikes: Ppl who dislike Cardio
    Hometown: Zone 5 and He’s the Mayor

    These men represented the Thib pax to the last rep and YHC couldn’t be prouder. This will be a team to watch for years to come.

    THE CHAMPS….

    When the dust settled we had 3 teams that separated themselves from the pack. In a photo finish Tanked and Grundy retained the SV500 title narrowly escaping the youthful legs of Pope and Paradiddle. Leading the youth division (under 18) Redfish/Coyote with an impressive 500 points. The future is bright for these 2.0 studs.

    Tanked Up/ Grundy 435
    Incredibly impressive, especially with the tweaks Goose built this year. Station 19 and 20 Doras were both physically and psychologically punishing. Tclaps to the gentlemen for continuing to rep the Northshore. See you next year!!!

    After copious amounts of water/ Gatorade and shaking off heat stroke symptoms we wrapped up with COT and Cardinal Prayed us out.

    Coffeeteria with donuts provided by St. Vincent pharmacy staff and volunteers.
    I will pass along the gratitude from the entire St. Vincent pharmacy staff and board in thanking everyone involved in this event and fundraising endeavor. It’s been 2 years since we started discussing ways to help with the pharmacy after the devastation of Hurricane Ida and continued strain from the pandemic and I could have never imagined this level of support from F3 and the community. I’m proud to announce that with our contributions this year ($9517.50) we have raised over $20, 000 in the last 2 years for the pharmacy to continue to provide for people in need of life-saving medications. Looking forward to continuing to find ways to support this great organization.

    Epilogue

    THE FAITH THANG

    The heaping trash continued to tumble out of the micro trash bag and the tension was palpable. No one had seen this much garbage since the Naboo storyline in Episode 1 (RIP Jar Jar). Soon the sheer amount of plastic would overtake our oxygen supply. YHC was grasping at straws. We had to keep our composure. Cardinal was even running diversion tactics by introducing new schisms to the pax. “Hey you guys know how pirogue is pronounced??”
    And just when we had reached our darkest hour there came the return of the silent sedan over the hill like Gandalf into Helms deep. In place of a blazing white staff he proceeded to unveil the largest trash bag ever created on planet earth. We placed the entire events trash inside and it still looked empty. What and why this unit of plastic could be used for, other than oceans of trash, is beyond me. When Jeaux was pressed about it he only mumbled something about his affairs in international waters not being my business. He silently went on about his duty of peddling event t-shirts and correcting form. Not all heroes bring hefty’s.

    So here’s the very thing about the men of F3 Thibodaux. Ask them to grab a trash bag and they bring you TrashZilla Rex, the king of all trash. Need a JUMBolaya pot? Here’s one you can swim in! Need 1-2 ice chests? Ho Hum, here’s 5 Yetis all 30A approved. Ask them to do burpees, why not Kraken Burpees on emom timer. Ask them for stretching and you get a Diddle death march.

    And how about ask them to support a charity pharmacy in 115 heat indices with a back-to-back 2 day event?? One that has been there for so many in need for 2 decades and needed that same support. Well, you already know how that ends. The chips are low, a wolf at the door or a man alone in the darkness and these pax will stand up and serve those less fortunate. I could not be prouder to stand beside them.

    SYITG,

    Paradox

  • Look at what the Scramble returned with mild conditions! – from Shooter

    Not sure about the rest of F3 nation, but the Scramble here on the Northshore definitely had milder conditions on this Gloom. With it came the return of Waterpik.. For those that may not know, during his MVP performance 4 weeks back, showing out as the Northshore’s very own Messi, he incurred a rib injury.. Best part with his return, he EHd an OG from the Scramble days in Chewy… Which proves you may miss a few post due to injury or simply the ole Fartsack, but the Scramble is always open for business when your ready JV.. Europe interference would constitute an excused absence of course if that is where you’ve been. 😬😬
    Russo was obviously taking a rest day in preparation for Saturday’s event at Fountainbleau. If interested reach out with a DM for the details. Or maybe he was sore like the YHC from Steve on Tuesday.
    Steve + Coupon work = pain and misery for days ahead, especially legs.. As always Steve just smiles and laughs when YHC mentions his destructive patterns and rep counts… Gotta love the guy, although when I see his name out there on the Q sheet thoughts of said love/hate relationship come to mind.. 😩😩
    Warmup
    20IC SSH, plank jacks, Cherry pickers
    10IC Toe Touches, Self love, and alternating leg swings OYO.
    Thang
    Took the path from last week down East Causeway to Monroe, down to West Beach U turning at lakeshore and returning to AO with 3 mins remaining for Left elbow right knee F/J 10IC and 25 OYO LilMannies..

    As Wacky Chatty Wacker rushed the PAX (go figure) to rap it up, Q called upon him for a uniquely different COT.. Let’s just say if there are any vacancies out there for a Coach in your 2.0s Rec Leagues he is your guy!!

    Appreciate the post gentlemen, until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!

  • Runners only! – from Shooter

    The hint and feeling of rain at the Scramble brought out 5 PAX and amongst the 5 were only runners..

    Brief warmup consisting of 15IC Grass grabbers, Toe Touches, Selflove, Cherry pickers, Goof balls, 50 OYO SSH and plank jacks along with alternating leg swings front/back and side/side..

    Path of the run was down E Causeway to Monroe down to West Beach south to Lakeshore looping back to City hall. Close to 4 miler with all PAX returned and safe..

    Intentions lifted up for F3 brethren out on injuries and for Steve’s mother-in-law..

    PS
    Russo will be destroying your PAX Milner Jose10k, as when this week has ended the score shall possibly be Russo 3 Jose10k 0!!