F3 New Orleans

Tag: Zoolander

  • ZOORICH CLASSIC

    After a quick disclaimer and Warmorama (18 x SSH, 18 x Toe Touches, 9 Windmills), the Pax moseyed westward and partnered up to commence a frisbee golf challenge. We had 18 holes i.e. crawfish trays (‘tis the season!) with a total course length of ~1 mile. For each hole, one partner threw the high quality, PDGA-approved disc (courtesy of Dollar General), while the other partner performed the following exercises between strokes for the respective holes. Partners alternated throwing and exercising throughout the course.

    Between Strokes

    Holes 1 – 3: Bear Crawl

    Holes 4 – 6: Wheelbarrow

    Holes 7 – 9: Lunge Walk

    Holes 10 – 12: Groucho Walk

    Holes 13 – 15: Frankensteins

    Holes 16 – 18: Burpee Broad Jumps

    Once the team completed a hole, both team members performed the following exercises with the rep count equal to how many strokes the team took to complete the hole.

    Hole          Exercise

    1                # x Freak Nasties

    2                # x Jump Squats

    3                # x Derkins

    4                #  x Squerkins

    5               # x Copperhead Squats

    6               # x Hello Dollies

    7               # x Gwerkins (As if the Squerkins weren’t bad enough)

    8               # x Burpees

    9               # x Donkey Kicks

    10            # x Plank Jacks

    11            # x Sister Mary Katherines

    12           #  x Big Boy Situps

    13           # x Crunchy Frogs

    14           # x Groiners

    15          # x Body Builders

    16          #  x Dive Bombers

    17         # x Box Jumps (No one completed as time ran out)

    18         # x Patty Cake Merkins (No one completed as time ran out)

    Team BEAN HAMMER started out rough with the first throw on the first hole in the Lake, but quickly recovered.

    Team STEVE GRUNDY put on a racy display of Squerkins, which are very likely to never be incorporated into another F3 Northshore beatdown.

    Welcome back two Pax back from Injured Reserve, Butt Splice and Tanked Up!, who inadvertently won unattributable points for best team name: BUTT TANK!

    Thanks to team JOSE RUSSO for scooping up the coupons at the end.

    Team scores were recorded on scorecards provided by the Q and tallied below with penalty 6s for unfinished holes. This simplified scoring normalization yielded team Shooting Sparks as winner of the 2019 Zoorich Classic. Congrats guys. Wear this badge of honor proudly!

    Counterama, Name-orama, ceremonial naming of FNG – Speedy Gonzales, and Butt Splice prayed us out. 19th hole coffeeteria at our usual spot. Thanks for allowing me to lead, Men. Hope you enjoyed it as much as YHC had dreaming it up. SYITNG!

  • Uniformed celebrity sightings at the Scramble!!

    5 PAX converged on the Scramble to post before the rain showers arrived.. YHC noticed Water pik already under the lamp post as I emerged from the park.. With no vehicle in sight Q realizing Water Pik had gotten in a little pre thang by running from home.. Garfield emerged from the darkness as Zoolander turned the corner and rolled in. With chatter bouncing around as each PAX joined, the time to begin quickly arrived but headlights rounding the bend revealed the Scramble would add yet another PAX in Chewy as he waited for him to join in…

    Warmup

    10 IC Imperial Squats

    15 IC Toe Touches

    10 IC Scorpion kicks (Garfield fav)

    15 IC Windmills

    Alternating lunge walk 30 yards to Zoolander’s car..

    Thang

    PAX began our Mosey down the standard ole Mandeville Route quickly establishing 2 different paced groups.. With Water Pik, Garfield and Zoolander pacing out front.. YHC and Chewy pulled the 6 with some great chatter along the way.. Returned to the AO for playground work with each PAX cycling through 10 pull-ups while the rest of us completed little Manny crunches OYO. 10 IC Freak nasties as each man completed Flutter kicks. Closed with Plank hold, left/right arm high as our Celebrity uniformed Captain Sparkles rolled in to make a down painment of different sorts..

    Count, announce, COT

    Appreciation to Zoolander closing the PAX with prayers to the sky Q!!

    Always enjoy the Gloom with you men 👍🏻👊🏻✌🏻 Till the next Gloom!!

  • The Millennial Beatdown

    Who knew that a workout titled “The Millennial” would actually be difficult? One would assume that given the reputation of Millennials, this would be the workout equivalent of watching Netflix. That being every 5 minutes someone asks “are we still working out”? Instead, we were introduced to a series that put the PAX and YHC into survival mode.

    But before that we warmed up with (All in cadence):
    1. SSH
    2. High Knees
    3. Butt Kicks
    4. Windmills
    5. Shoulder Series

    We then moseyed to Noah’s Ark (what I think we should call the neutral ground near Rips ever since Hammer’s beatdown) for the main event.

    Like I said before, the workout routine was called “The Millennial” and this is what we had to do. The goal is to get to a total count of 2000 as a team (roughly the time period Millennials were born). 1000 reps of exercises and 1000 meters of running. It turned out the loop around Noah’s Ark is around 350 meters versus 100 and so we ended up running around 3,500 meters. But as demonstrated on Saturday, my counting was not up to even 5th grade levels (as was pointed out by Jose).

    The sequence was the full pax does 100 reps each of a called exercise, then runs a lap back to a point where they gather again for the next called exercise. There were 10 cycles, which would get you to your number of 2,000 (Or 4,500 in our case).

    Millennials are always taking credit for other’s people work so why should the workout be any different? The first nine cycles end when the FIRST person gets to 100. The last cycle, is done together because eventually Millennials need to learn that they have to pull their own weight.

    We started each set with 6 burpees (It was 5 upon initial construction but changed last minute which led to a multiplication error).

    The sets were: 1) Carolina Dry Docks; 2) Squats; 3) Russian Twists; 4) Merkins; 5) Lunges; 6) LBCs; 7) Shoulder Taps; 8) Monkey Humpers; 9) 100s; 10) Burpees (Remaining number to get to 100 after burpees from previous rounds)

    We moseyed back to the flag and arrived at 7:30 on the nose. We circled up and Hammer closed us out.

    Thanks for letting me lead gentlemen. You always make me better!!!

    Over and Out,
    Grundy

  • Grandma says come as you are, slippers and and all!!

    With aching legs still lingering from Ragnar YHC planned on an upper body tear down of sorts.. Arriving to the sites of 1 fellow brethren being Zoolander illuminating the inside of his vehicle secretly watching video of Bushwacker closing out our Ragnar event in his loaned out kilt.. No worries Zoolander the representation was successful, as well as welcomed by all.. However, there was an exception of an ole timer of sorts wearing one and coming over prompted by Ocho to remind Wacker simply that “His kilt was not as real as his own..” Zoolander being the trendsetter proved consistent in posting with his slippers.. Although some may have put limits to what can be done with those slippers there was no modification on this Gloom..

    Warmup

    All IC 15 SSH, Toe Touches, Windmills, Butt kicks, Arm circles and wrapped up with a recently learned favorite Donkey kickoffs. Q was a little aggressive wanting to complete 5 rounds increasing the counts by 5 with equal hold times.. Had to modify at 20 (YHC was gassed)..

    Thang

    Moseyed over to the Marsh to utilize the play ground. 3,6,9 Pull-ups, Merkins and Jump Squats.. R/R (5).

    Moseyed back to the Trailhead where we completed 50, 100, 150, 200 cumulative. Burpees, Merkins, Squats and Plank Jacks.. One completed exercise while the other moseyed the corridor to the steps returning with sprints picking up count..

    Finished with Plank holds, little MANNY crunches 20 IC, Freddie Mercury’s 20 IC and Hello Dollies 20 IC..

    Appreciate the post Zoolander and you following my lead!!

    YHC prayed us out!!

    Till the next Gloom 👊🏻👍🏻✌🏻!!

  • MARSH MADNESS

    In honor of the recently completed NCAA Championship, QIC devised the inaugural F3 Northshore Marsh Madness that paid homage to none other than former U of Arkansas head coach, Nolan Richardson, whose teams’ up tempo and intense pressure defensive style was known as “40 Minutes of Hell.”

    With lighting and thunder behind us, the light rain subsiding, and many regulars crushing Ragnar, our group of 7 got started.

    Quick Warmorama around the invisible shovel flag consisted of Sweet 16 x Toe Touches, Side Straddle Hops, Bobby Hurleys, Makhtar N’ Merkins (6 count Makhtar N’Diayes followed by a Merkin). Maverick came in hot at the end of the warm up to round out the Pax of Elite 8.

    Pax moseyed ¾ miles to the Milestone Marsh, home of F3 Northshore’s Monday morning beatdown. Following instruction, Pax partnered up into 4 x 2 man teams at each corner of the court with a basketball. Each team was to complete the following exercises in sequence accumulating to total.

    • 150 x Burpees

    • 300 x Squats

    • 150 x Big Boy Sit Ups

    • 300 x Air Presses

    • 150 x Merkins

    •  300 x Lunges

    Meanwhile, 1 member of each team backpedaled with their basketball to half court, performed a Bobby Hurley, and drove to goal for a shot of his choosing: layup (1 point if sunk), free throw (2 points if sunk), or three point shot (3 points if sunk). Shooters marked their points using the first letter of their F3 name with sidewalk chalk. The competition was to end when the first team completed all exercises and all members of the team planked on the sideline and yelled “Halt!”, but no team was finished by 0715, so QIC called it in respect of time.

    Total team points and individual team member points were tallied. The SW corner represented by Bird and Sparky had the most combined points (81).

    The highest scoring individual from each of the 4 teams were Bird, Stockboy, Toto, and Zoolander. The Final Four were summoned for a 5-shot “Around-the-World” shoot out, while the rest of the Pax lined the 3-point line performing side straddle hops (so as to simulate fans in the stands trying to distract the shooter). After the 4 rounds and sinking 3 of 5 shots, Zoolander emerged as the soon to be never remembered 2019 F3 Northshore Marsh Madness champion! We’ll see if the prestigious title can be defended in a year or so.

    Time was short, so the Pax of Elite 8 moseyed back to the meeting spot.

    Counterama, Nameorama. Welcome FNG Joel who sank 16 three pointers and is now known as Bird.

    QIC prayed us out. Thanks for following my lead today men. See you in the next Gloom.

  • Northshore Convergence – 3 Year Anniversary

    We all come to F3 as individuals, men with our own past and our own unique stories.  But we all share one very similar story, which is the story of our first post to an F3 beatdown.  This story usually involves a little fear, a lot of pain, and in some cases, a splash of merlot.  My story took place at Grandmother’s House (before it had a name), and I can be honest and say it was filled with trepidation: Will I be able to make it through this?  What if I don’t like some of these guys?  Are they going to ask me to lead part of it?  And why the heck am I up so damn early???

    Everyone knows how the story goes – YHC was accepted but quickly pushed to be a better man in all aspects. That impact – an effect felt on all F3 brothers – is what we came together to celebrate on the Lakefront today. F3 has now been thriving and changing men on the Northshore for three years now.

    A few lucky Southshore men arrived early, unaware they’d get roped into a 2 mile pre-thang. Back at the flags (four flags this morning), YHC gave a quick welcome and disclaimer, and we got this thing started:

    Warmorama:

    Three years, three sets of 8-count bodybuilders.  Founding year 2016, so 16 reps of each.  Sprinkled some standard warm-ups in between:

    • 8-count bodybuilders x16 IC
    • SSH, IW’s x20 IC
    • 8-count bodybuilders x16 IC
    • Toe Touches, Windmills x20 IC
    • 8-count bodybuilders x16 IC

    The Thang:

    3 Stations for 3 Years: Every Man Leads

    Leadership is one of the skills F3 hones that YHC is most thankful for. It’s also the thing YHC was most uncomfortable with those first few weeks. These stations were meant to honor the leadership impact that F3 spreads.

    The PAX was split into three groups, with three leaders picked for an impromptu lead at each station. The leader got two minutes to come up with a routine while the rest of the PAX circled up for Peter Parkers x15 IC, Shoulder Taps x15 IC, and Merkins x15 OYO.

    If memory serves, here’s what each leader had us performing:

    Station 1: The Gazebo, led by Sparky Time

    Freak Nasties x10 IC, Step Ups x10 IC (each leg), Squats x10 IC, repeat.

    Station 2: East Swingset Pad, led by Jose 10k

    Squats x10 IC, Jane Fondas x10 IC (each leg), Lunges x10 IC, Monkey Humpers x10 IC.

    Station 3: West Swingset Pad, led by Russo

    Little Manny Crunches x10 IC, Six-Inch Exercise x10 IC, Crunchy Frogs x10 IC. (Pretty sure there was something else in there….)

    Mental and Physical Toughness with Fracsac

    Next up, the baton was passed to Fracsac for a little taste of the Southshore. He told us of his recent Spartan Race with Triple Shift, how challenging it was, and how F3 had prepared him both mentally and physically.  So this next pearl would exemplify both. 

    The physical part was an Indian Run (PAX split into 2 groups), where the man sprinting to the front would yell out an exercise, the PAX would quickly disperse and perform 5 of said exercise (burpees, jump squats, derkins, one-armed merkins, to name a few) before getting back in line and continuing the run.  Halfway through we were stopped for the mental exercise: perform 21 SSH’s, with only the first 10 called out in cadence.  If one man fails to halt at exactly 21, there was a penalty of 30 burpees.  After some mumble chatter about who’s cadence was the correct cadence, we all performed the penalty burpees. The Indian run then headed in the opposite direction, with the same mental exercise waiting at the end of the line – this time 17 SSH and only 6 called in cadence.  Another failure and another 20 burpees were in order.

    Team Races: Pushing Each Other Forward

    YHC took the final pearl with some competitive team exercises. This section was cut short due to time, so we did one quick hopscotch race: the original three teams lined up in plank position, with the last man rising to bunny hop over the rest of his team, and then drop back into plank position. Teams finished once their last man crossed the finish line – the infamous lakefront shaft.

    The two losing teams would need to do a penalty exercise, but the true winning team would never be known because there were some last-second shenanigans on all three teams as they neared the finish line. So we all performed the penalty together: the 8-count exercise known as Absolution.

    Mosey back to the flag, where Shooter led a very abbreviated Mary of planking before we called it.

    COT: Count-o-rama, name-o-rama, naming of an FNG (welcome Stockboy!) and Triple Shift led us in a prayer of thanks.

    Coffetería brought out a few of our injured brothers, with Butt Splice, The Manny, and Tanked Up joining us. T-claps to our Southshore brothers for making it across the pond to make this a true convergence, it wouldn’t be the same without you guys. And t-claps to all the guys who led today, it’s an honor to work beside you men. SYITG.

  • No Animal Left Behind

    We began with a brief warmup: Side Straddle Hops x 15/Windmills x10/High Knees x15/Butt Kicks x15/Imperial Walkers x 15 in cadence.  We then finished with 5 Burpees on your own. 

    QIC then had us mosey to begin our commemoration of the biblical account of Noah’s Ark.  We paired up, and while one partner ran the length of the ark (450′) out and back, the other did Mountain Climbers until each team reached a cumulative of 600 (Noah’s age when he built the ark. 

    All teams performed that task with such ease, we added 300 cumulative Merkins on the back end, much to Shooter’s chagrin. (Noah lived for another 300 years after the flood.) 

    With our chests nice and fatigued, we moved on to the animal portion.  Each partner stood 75′ apart from each other (the width of the ark), and took turns doing the following:  Bear Crawls/Crab Walk/Duck Walk/Gecko Walk/Rabbit Hop/Run.  While one partner was performing the task, the other waited by doing squats.  

    As if that were not enough, we then honored the 40 day/40 night flood by doing 40 Frek Nastys/ 40 Lunges/ 40 Monkey Humpers.  (3 sets to honor each of Noah’s 3 sons.) 

    We then moseyed back to the flag for some Mary.  Since there was no dry land for 7 days after the rain stopped, we performed 7 different exercises to finish up:  20 x Crunchy Frogs/Dying Cockroaches/Freddy Mercurys/Putins/Peter Parkers/Parker Peters/Little Manny Crunches. 

    We finished by saying the Pledge of Allegiance before Bubba prayed us out.  We then enjoyed some F2 at the Beach House, as is customary. 

  • Sorry this BB is almost 2 weeks late!

    One recent study by researcher Dr. Holt-Lunstad of BYU indicated that social isolation and loneliness kill more people than obesity.

    Thanks to all you guys in the pax that get out of the fart sack to be a part of some thing great like our F3 community. Let’s keep EH’ing those guys around us!

    The thang:

    Warm up at the Shovel flag:

    SSH x20; IW x 20; my climbers x 20 IC

    Mosey west to sea wall: 7’s

    6 irkins/1 Plyo —->1 irkin/6 plyo’s

    6 squats/1 jump squat —-> 1 squat/6 jump squats

    Mosey further west to oak grove:

    5 jumps squats, 5 merkins, 5 burpees

    Rinse and repeat x 10 rounds

    Jane Fonda’s and Nolan Ryan’s x 15 IC

    Mosey further west to playground: 20 Bulgarian split squats IC each leg

    Mosey back east : stop motion lunges

    All horses to the barn, sprint to shovel flag

    COM: flutter kicks, Russian hammer, Little manny crunches x 20 IC.

    Name O Rama, introduced FNG Phoenix with a powerful story of redemption!

    Circle of trust, prayer, and coffeteria.

    Thanks guys for letting me lead!

  • Mr. Anderson’s On the Clock

    With a high of 59, 20% chance of rain and breezy, the forecast promised an invigorating and intense Saturday beat down. But instead, morning rain, still, humid air and Jose 10K helped deliver and invigorating and intense Saturday beat down!

    PRE THANG

    The usual pre-thang suspects gathered at the usual pre-thang time to run the usual pre-thang 2 miles. T-claps to to Waterpik for taking the pre-thang red pill, despite a scheduling conflict for the beat down proper.

    WARM O RAMA

    x20 IC:

    SSH

    Imperial Walkers

    Butt Kicks

    Slow Squats

    Cherry Pickers

    Arm Circles (10>, 10<)

    THANG

    The newly spoken-for King of the Pre-Thang and this month’s current ISI crusader Jose` 10K joined YHC for his VQ, and the baton was now passed his way. The PAX mosied to the Marsh for 10K’s very own On the Clock. 12 stations were set up in a circle, including merkins, jump squats, LBCs, putins, shoulder taps, lateral jumps over cones, soccer ball taps (rocky balboas), peter parkers, plank jacks, and 3 others. moving from station to station, round 1 was 41 seconds each, round 2 was 30 seconds each.

    Pax mosied down Larmarque back to the lakefront where we split into 2 teams for 4 rounds of sloppy tug-of-war. Winners got to pick from 2 options for the losers’ penalty exercise while they planked. There was a “HALF-assed” 100 yard bear crawls, 25 burpees, 50 mountain climbers, and 100 LBCs.

    After the last round, we mosied back to the flag all holding on to the battle rope for the last 2 minutes.

    MARY

    With 2 minutes to spare, Jose lead the PAX in a quick round of righ and left side jane fondas.

    COT

    Count off and name-o-rama, before Pastor Grundy prayed us out. Congrats to Jose 10K for poppin’ his cherry! It was a great beatdown, and we look forwards to more opportunities to experience his leadership.

    POST SCRIPT

    Of course, a proper back blast would not be complete without special mentions of Zoolander’s kilt…will it make another appearance tonight?

  • Metric tonne of burpees

    Metric tonne of burpees

    CONDITIONS

    7:15 a.m. sunrise

    DISCLAIMER

    Q confessed that he was not a professional

    THE WARM UP

    All exercises done IC, or in cadence-ish. YHC’s counts were so far off, it was a miracle the assembled PAX didn’t disband then and there.

    • Seal jacks X15
    • Toe touches X10
    • Abe Vigodas X10
    • Copper Head squats X10
    • Steve Earles Copper head squat finished with hill billy X 10

    THE THANG PART 1: 3/4 Dab

    Pax moseyed around the block and returned to the bus stop to get to work. Daylight savings time had Q’s thoughts muddled so YHC picked a nice simple beatdown to use for this circumstance. We ran through a modified version of the Dab a.k.a. series of 10 burpees done EMOM style. At the risk of getting monotonous with all 4 rounds total burpees, YHC trimmed the sequence to a nice compact, block of 150 burpees.

    THE THANG PART 2: One leg at a time


    -Marios
    -Single leg wife pleases
    -Single leg split squats
    -Reverse table tops
    -Ham string bridge

    Mary and we out

    • Absolution
    • Flutter kicks
    • LBCs
    • Plank

    CountORama, NameORama, and COT

    The Pelican prayed us out.

    Thanks F3-bros, for the fellowship, the beatdowns and for being willing to follow my lead.