F3 New Orleans

Tag: Zoolander

  • To The Wall

    You’d think with Cowbell returning from the Virgin Islands and YHC returning from a beach trip in Panama City this weekend, that we wouldn’t need all the hats/gloves/tights today. And yet most of us – precluding Shooter, of course – did arrive to this morning’s 34º gloom with the above-mentioned winter accessories.

    But of course we warmed up quickly and began shedding the layers. Started things off with: good mornings, windmills, arm circles forward, arm circles backwards, air presses, SSHs, seal jacks, IWs, and hillbillies. (Ranging from 10x for the slowish ones to 20x for the faster ones.)

    Then, because YHC was having second thoughts about certain sections of my planned beatdown, we took a mosey around the perimeter of the trailhead to give me time to think. Once back, we finally dove in:

    Partner up at the head of the corridor: P1 will do burpee broad jumps while P2 runs the stairs and back to relieve P1. Journey across the courtyard and all the way back to the start.

    Second Partner Corridor Exercise: P1 does 4x lunges, 8x squats across, while P2 runs up stairs and back to relieve. Across and back again.

    Next, recovery walk over to the stage for some Balls To The Wall. YHC has probably only done BTTW once before, and had originally planned to do 60 seconds of it sprinkled a few times throughout the beatdown. That got shut down real quick after we recovered from our first minute.

    Stayed with that same section of the stage wall, this time for a People’s Chair with overhead air presses, increased the time to 75 seconds.

    After that, grab a partner for some Lazy Doras. Cowbell introduced this one to the Northshore PAX during his first F2 event, and it was no bueno. So YHC figured why not inflict it on the unsuspecting men this morning?

    • P1 10 merkins while P2 planks, swap until you’ve reached 100
    • P1 15 squats while P2 Al Gores, up to cumulative 150
    • P1 20 LBC’s, while P2 holds legs 6″ off ground, up to 200

    A slowesy back to the corridor for the combo sprints/peter parkers/parker peters that I’m so fond of, and then it was time for Mary: flutter kicks, Hello Dolly’s, and Rosalie’s to wrap it up.

    COT and Zoo prayed us out, with special intentions for his sister and her family, who lost their house to a fire last weekend. Lift them up this week as they deal with the loss.

    Thanks men for the spur to get out of bed on cold mornings like this one, and the opportunity to lead and get sharper!

  • The No Power Menu

    10 men braved the Olga aftermath to see what was on the No Power Menu this past Saturday.  YHC may not be able to remember much of what was actually on the menu, but I can tell you what was not on the menu: a fun game of mud football wasn’t (or, really, any “fun” in general); a beatdown with a clear vision wasn’t; and a fast cup of strong coffee at coffeeteria wasn’t either.  But more on that later.

    First, there was much mumblechatter and confusion as to what exactly happened to Wacker.  He had posted on the GroupMe that Olga had “slipped in last night and screwed things up.”  But many men hadn’t heard that the tropical storm had been named and so, naturally, thought a Russian woman had slipped into Bush’s bed.  Obviously, there was a lot of concern and alarm until it was revealed Olga was “not the Russian lady he did that run with a few weeks ago.”

    Now, the beatdown.  Nevermind that YHC can’t remember the specifics of the warmorama (it’s pretty much the same 15 or so exercises anyway, right?), more of note was that it had to be the darkest warmorama on record.  With the power out in the entire neighborhood, it really couldn’t be any darker (unless, of course, we lost the light coming from Hammer and Pik’s phones).  YHC kept thinking, how can we do anything in this darkness?  No bear crawls, no suicides – what are we gonna just sit in a circle and do side straddle hops all morning??

    So… after some SSH’s, we carefully tread over to the playground equipment for a round of 7’s: pull-ups to merkins.  Then over to the benches for a second set of 7’s: Freak Nasties to Bulgarians (admittedly, Bulgarians were a bit ill-conceived due to the awkwardness of having to do each leg).

    Then carefully back to center court for a set of 1 minute AMRAPs, dealer’s choice: we went around the circle and each man picked an exercise.  I can’t remember the exercises: there were merkins, there were jump squats, there were burpees, oh, and then Maverick showed up about this time and made us do Merkins again.

    After that, Tank mercifully took the Q for a moment, just as light was starting to peek through.   He had us do runs across the court, with a merkin at each end.  About 5 laps here to get the heart rate going.

    YHC took the Q back for what I thought could be an interesting one: partner up for the slowest Catch Me If You Can ever.  P1 will inchworm down the block, P2 will perform 10 merkins, 10 squats, and 10 LBCs, before bear crawling to catch and replace P1.  YHC thought it would be fun to go sightseeing down the block (now that there was light) where there were downed power lines, fallen trees, frantic cars, and all sorts of other fun stuff to dodge.  But the wise Hammer pulled us back to the safety of the court.  This exercise turned out to be not so fun in the end anyway.

    Then we split into two teams of 5 and did a relay race across the court.  Jose ran so fast that I think he ran straight outta the court and into the home across the street, but he did seal the tie for his team.  So, 20 burpees for all.

    And… what else?  Ah, we finished with a round of Mary: again, a 1 minute AMRAP, dealer’s choice, around the circle.  And again, YHC cannot recall the exact exercises, but does remember that Pik had us do calf raises, because I remember thinking, “this isn’t core,” but hey, fair game nonetheless.  And Turbo had us do Scuba Steves.  And Jose pulled out his fave – Jane Fondas, 1 minute each leg to close it all out.

    COT where Tank took center stage to announce the Hundo, which is gaining some traction despite its utter insanity.   You gotta love these guys.  Akbar prayed us out and then we were on our way in search of coffee.  Despite the citywide outage, this group of stragglers wouldn’t take no for an answer and found the local Waffle House to be incredibly accommodating despite the lack of power.  T-claps to our cheery waitress, who put up with Hammer’s constant tea refills and a bunch of sweaty guys that had no intention of eating.  In the company of these men, that weak, slow-drip coffee was some of the best I’ve ever had.

    So while we may never know if those eighteen year olds were able to pull their truck out with bungee cords, like much in life, some things are just better left to the imagination.  Gents, thanks for the opportunity to co-lead with Tank, I believe I can speak for both of us when I say that it’s a privilege and honor that we don’t take for granted.

    Like the men of F3, Waffle House plans for the expected, but is prepared for the unexpected.

  • Crowd Pleaser

    Let’s just acknowledge that there was an actual “crowd” to please in the first place – Grandma’s was a-hoppin’ this morning. Aside from the regulars, there was Zoo, who has started to become a regular. There was Hammer, who not only posted today, but yesterday at the Marsh as well. And then there was Captain, the Chief, the Sparkliest of firefighters and most notable of actors in the Hollywood South, who made a rare guest appearance. Sounds like he may soon bump himself up to a series regular if we continue to EH him (hint, hint). There was also a very vocal owl that greeted the Hammer and I with eerily childlike rantings (YHC was reminded of the Hammer’s demonic, discarded doll), but he didn’t stick around long enough to make the cut. Anyhow, for Granny, it was a packed house.

    Warmorama: IWs, torso twists, toe touches, SSHs, and probably something else. Finished with 20x merkins OYO.

    As the fall weather settles in, YHC sometimes worries that the PAX just won’t sweat enough. This is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night. I mean, if Shooter doesn’t sweat during a beatdown, then really what was the point? Luckily temperatures hadn’t dropped too much, but YHC decided to start with a quick mosey around the block to get the blood flowing.

    Next up was the “crowd pleaser,” a term YHC takes at face value, rather the ironic one that seems to be intended. In front of the stage (which was well illuminated for some reason this morning), we spread out to four imaginary corners. The routine would be to travel clockwise to each corner, and perform the same exercise x10 until you’ve returned to your original corner. So:

    Bear crawl, x10 merkins at each corner
    Lunge walk, x10 squats at each corner
    Crab walk, 10x big boys at each corner
    Frog jumps, 10x burpees at each corner

    Recovery walk over to the corridor for partner sprints: P1 holds a people’s chair while doing air presses, P2 sprints half the corridor and back, then the full thing (including the stairs but mindful of our friendly stair-climbing couple) and back to flapjack.

    The Grand Finale was a last minute call – seeing that stage so well-lilt, and having an actor in our presence, it seemed necessary to get up there in the spotlight. So we hopped up to center stage for a little game of Rochamburpees. Same partners, rock/paper/scissors with the winner doing 1 merkin and the loser, 1 burpee. Redos for ties, and an ascending count each round, up to 10x. As the odd man out, YHC unfortunately hitched his wagon to the wrong horse, with Captain defying the odds and losing the first 8 straight. Out of sympathy, Cowbell even tried purposefully losing, which failed as well. Such was the bad luck of Cap. In the end, though, he came through when it mattered and secured the final two wins.

    Back to the flag for a some Mary: Crunchy Frogs, LBC’s, Putins, Flutters, and 100’s, all x20 IC. COT and Shooter prayed us out. Thank you men for getting out of the sack this morning and helping me become a stronger and better man.

  • Barricadia

    We arrived at Grandma’s House to find we were barricaded out! As if that would stop the PAX…T-Claps to Steve for moving them so we could park.

    Warm o Rama: Good Mornings, Toe touches, Imp Walkers, Hill Billies, SS Hops.

    First up, a mosey on over to the tunnel. Along the way some friendly chatter about the past weekend…Topics that stood out were Shooter with a hunting kill(T-Claps), and Cowbell’s less than stellar sales experience when he went boat shopping.

    The Thang:

    Arrived at the tunnel. Bear Crawls 25 paces, then jog then sprint to the other side of the tunnel and repeat back. Rinse and repeat for 2 rounds.

    Next PAX moseyed over to the bus stop. PAX did 10 each: Decline Merkins, Step-Ups, Incline Merkins, Box Jumps, and Freak Nasties. Rinse and repeat for 2 rounds. YHC almost splashing merlot after those box jumps!

    Next we moseyed over to the Market area where PAX completed Dora 1,2,3. Teams of 2. Pax 1 Ran at 80% to end of Market Hall, and sprinted back, while Pax 2 were doing cumulative reps of 100 Merkins, 200 LBC’s, and 300 Squats. Pax 1 and 2 flap-jacked runs/exercises until cumulative exercises were completed.

    Count O , Name O

    Shooter Prayed us out.

  • Float like a butterfly, sting like a…

    The Killer B’s ended with a bang Saturday morning, with Grundy taking the Northshore lead by mere seconds.  Sure, we could debate the fairness of doing it on the lakefront’s luxurious grass vs. the Marsh’s unyielding concrete, or the legality of the proctor himself taking home first place, but when it comes down to it, we must (begrudgingly) give Grundy due credit (and hate!) – it was a pretty inspirational effort.  In fact, Tank was nipping at his heels the entire time and it seems the two were feeding off one another’s energy to push each other to their record times.

    So t-claps to those two men for giving it their all and, while we’re t-clapping, we might as well toss another one out to Zoo and his miraculous self-healing leg, for taking the opportunity to hit the challenge for a second time and improve upon his score.  Alright, the rundown:

    Usual pre-thang 2 miler featured guest appearances by both Bushwacker and Garfield, and then we went right into the warmorama: Arm circles (forward/back), IW’s, copperhead squats, toe touches, hillbillies, SSHs, mountain climbers, all x20 IC.

    Thang:  Half the PAX followed Grundy to complete the IP challenge, while those that had already had their fill followed YHC.

    First stop on our tour of the lakefront was an old favorite that can be difficult to use with a large pax: Rips.  Instead of the traditional stair run/Rocky Balboa’s, though, we simply grabbed a handrail and did one legged negative calf raises, at a slow cadence: x15 per leg.

    Then, eastward towards the baseball field, stopping for a quick COP of high knees and a burpee wave.  About 6 rounds, and then onward…

    To the pull-up bars behind the baseball field.  Circled up on our six for flutter kicks, while 2 men got up to do 5x pull-ups.  Around the circle again and again and again, until each man had 25 pull-ups.  We maxed out on flutters and at some point switched to Freddie Mercs, which did not really help all that much.

    Next up, flip over to a plank for plank jacks, while 2 men got up to do hanging knee tucks x10.  Round the circle a few times, switching about halfway to shoulder taps, until each man had 30 tucks.

    Mosey back towards the boat launch to split into two teams for a 100-yard sprint relay race.  Losing team gets hit with 25 burpees, winning team gets 25 merkins.  (YHC has learned that, in the realm of F3, the winning team never takes the easy way and sits out on the work so why even bother pretending there’s a reward.)  With Bean pulling double duty for Team 2 to secure the win, they performed their merkins and then jumped in to help Team 1 finish up with their burpees.  And then everyone took a page from Pik, who’s been keeping Old Mandeville clean for the better part of two years, and did a quick sweep of beer bottles before heading over to the playground for a quick partner routine.

    P1 holds people’s chair while doing air presses, P2 bear crawls up the small hill to the swingset pad for 10 merkins and then bunny hops back down to flapjack with P1.

    Just enough time to Indian Run back to Rips, get in one more set of calf raises (x10 each leg this time), and back at the flag for a round of boxcutters, x20 IC.  The rest of the gang joined us at this point, looking thoroughly destroyed, and we circled up for COT.  Zoo encouraged all to share the gift of F3 and bring out some new brothers, and Maverick took us out with a prayer, encouraging us to be men of strength. Then off to coffeeteria.  Thank you men for the opportunity not only to lead, but to get stronger and sharper alongside you.

  • B-Limps

    8 pax met at Gma’s house on the gloriously muggy morning.

    The attendance was a little up this morning, after Cowbell’s call to action on Saturday at the lakefront.

    The Thang:

    Mosey to parking lot for Quick Warm up:

    SSH x 20; IW x 20; Merkins x 20 all IC

    Mosey to the under pass for

    1 lap of hill repeats and 25 Burpees, Lunges, IW, Merkins, Plank J’s, and Skwaats after each

    Mosey back to the Flag
    Distance 2.5 miles according to Cowbell.

    COM: including Side ups, and V Ups x 25 and BB sit ups x 10 led by Zoo

    Zoolander, again showing his ability to heal like Wolverine, running hill repeats < 10 weeks post-op ankle surgery.

    COT, Name-o-Rama: Welcome FNG Handy, who is married to Zoolander’s sister. Prayer .

    thanks guys for letting me lead,

    Chewy.

  • When Life Gives You Cinderblocks…

    Everyone can finish the saying, “When life gives you lemons…”. But not everyone knows how to complete the saying, “When life gives you cinderblocks….” So let YHC help everyone out; “when life gives you cinderblocks, you use them in your workouts!!!”

    The PAX learned the truth of this saying this morning in a more than intellectual level. And even though this workout was very difficult, I would argue that all the blame should be placed on TurboTax. For he’s the one who lent me his cinderblocks. I take no responsibility, Turbo should have known better.

    So after a disclaimer was given, the fun began.

    Warmup

    Side straddle hop In cadence to 52! I wanted the pax to remember Dredd’s saying when he came down for our GrowRuck, “Be prepared for the expected, but be ready for the unexpected.” Doing side straddle hops to 52 definitely drove that idea home.

    Then we did:

    Windmills in cadence, and a shoulder series warmup in cadence.

    The Thang

    Moseyed to the opening before the bridge where the Grundymobile was parked with the aforementioned cinderblocks. But first we did something called the welsh dragons.

    Welsh Dragons: Remain in plank position the whole time. Bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the BACK of each shoulder 1 time. Repeat adding 1 rep to each exercise each time – bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 2 merkins, 2 plank jacks, 2 sets of back of shoulder taps… etc. We went until We reached 10 reps each and covered 30-50 feet.

    Then the Q realized he had left the keys to his car back at the flag… So the Pax got a 5 minute plank/rest while the Q ran back to grab them. I’m sure everyone held a plank the whole time…

    Upon returning, the grundymobile was opened and the cinderblocks were distributed. It was time for the main event. Everyone partnered up (some teams had 3 people), and we did a Dora 1, 2, 3 with cinderblocks. Round 1 (100 step ups on to the sea wall with the cinderblock) partner 2 ran to the walkway and did 3 burpees and returned to take over the rep count. Round 2 (200 kettlebell swings), and round 3 (300 overhead presses).

    There was much pain involved but kudos to all of the pax for pushing through! We returned the cinderblocks and moseyed/walked back to the flag for some Mary.

    Like the beginning of the workout, be ready for anything. Like Little Manny crunches in cadence to 53!!!

    Circled it up and Manny closed us out wonderfully.

    Great job everyone!

    Until next time, Grundy

  • Return of the Green Mile

    19 pax showed up to the Lakefront on Saturday Morning, for a beatdown known as the Green Mile.

    Pre-thang; 2 miles Tanked up, Bushwacker, Barely Legal and a late arriving YHC.

    The thang:

    Warm up: SSH, IW, Mt climbers, Slow skwaats, and dippy birds all IC x 20

    The Green Mile: 1/2 mile from shovel flag to eastern playground with 7 fire hydrants along the way. The pax were instructed to perform 5 merkins and 10 squats at each hydrant on the way down and 10 merkins and 20 squat on the way back. The pax returned to the shovel flag with 30 min to spare, just enough time for a second round. Only this time it was 10 merks/20 squats on the way down and 5 merks/10 squats on the way back.

    Cooldown: SSH, IW, Mt climbers, Slow skwaats, and dippy birds all IC x 20

    It seems that the pax has some superhumans among them: with Zoolander only weeks out of surgery for a lower leg fracture, leading the front of the pax…unreal. And Tanked-up despite finding a 7th gear to end the workout up front, well done guys.

  • Running Games? I Thought You Said Fun ‘n’ Games!

    The mumble chatter started the previous night at the successful meet n greet campaign party for our very own Hammer about the fact that if Turbo had the Q for Saturday, then it was either fun n games or, more likely, plenty of running, much to the consternation of more than one PAX both present and away. While, in a sense, fun n games were in fact afoot, today was a run day!

    WARMORAMA

    x20 IC:

    Seal Jacks

    Imperial Walkers

    Toe Touches

    THANG

    Mosied westward down the lakefront for a stretch before we stopped for some merkins. Continued up Marigny and stopped for some Mountain Climbers. Finished up at the Marsh where we partnered up for a little competiton.

    4 4 minute rounds with a running total per team:

    Round 1- P1 SSH while P2 runs to opposite side of the court and performs 2 Burpees

    Round 2- P1Butt Kicks, P2 2 180 degree hops

    Round 3- P1 Lateral Hops, P2 2 Tuck (Squat) Jumps

    Round 4- P1 imaginary Jump Rope, P2 2 Bobby Hurleys

    In between each round was 30 seconds rest, 1 minute of Plank, and 30 more seconds of rest. Teams that scored under 82 total points (all?) dropped for 10 penalty burpees.

    Next, the Pax split evenly and competed head-to-head in a relay race from one end of the court to the other. The Odd numbered team performed another set of 10 penalty burpees. YHC must note that never has he seen such an intense show of drive and performance from every man at the same time as was displyed during this race!

    Same teams did a double-line Indian Run back to the Lakefront, where the PAX planked for the 6, followed by a slow mosy before an all out sprint to the flag.

    COUNTORAMA

    NAMEORAMA

    Naming of FNG Black Cat. Welcome brother, better late than never!

    Phoenix prayed us out.

    T Claps to Turbo Tax for a well put together, high intensity beat down. It’s always a privilege to follow a great leader. Who says running can’t be fun!

  • Boot, Scoot, and Burpee

    It was F3 Northshore’s own ne’er-present Ocho that EH’d YHC exactly a year ago. The High Impact Men of this group routinely post to support each other and lift each other up, day in and day out. Despite the broken leg and ankle, there was no way YHC was going to give up his anniversary Q and miss out on celebrating this gift of F3. So, with QIC donning a Boot and a Knee Scooter, we got started with a long “warm up”:

    12 x Toe Touches

    12 x Arm Circles

    12 x Gas Pumps

    12 x Putins

    12 x Scissors

    12 x Heels to Heaven

    12 x Air Presses

    12 x Oblique V-Ups

    12 x Little Manny Crunches

    12 x Crunchy Frog

    12 x Freddy Mercuries

    12 x Van Gohdas

    12ish Flutter Kicks

    12 x Morrocan Night Clubs

    12 x Lazy Peter Parkers

    12 x Scorpion Kicks

    12 x LBCs

    12 x Cherry Pickers

    12 x Cherry Pickers

    …and 1 Burpee

    Short scoot toward Mississippi and we circled up for some high rep Mucho Chesto:

    18 x Merkins

    18 x Wide Merkins

    18 x Diamond Merkins

    18 x Stagger Left Merkins

    18 x Stagger Right Merkins

    …followed by 12s. Why 12, and not 11 asks Jose 10k. Because that’s how many screws are in the old kicker, Jose.

    We partnered into groups of 3 and completed Freak Nasties on the Lake Wall and Big Boy Sit Ups on the side walk with 2 Partners carrying the third in between. Grundy and Toto were great sports as they quickly learned that they’d be carrying QIC for each run. Thanks guys!

    Circled up for a Mucho Chesto bonus:

    12 x Military Merkins

    12 x Makhtar N’ Merkins (5 count?, 6 count?…who’s counting?)

    12 x Irkins

    12 x Carolina Drydocks

    12 x Dirkins

    Back to the shovel flag for some Mary:

    Hello Dollies

    Jane Fondas (Left)

    Abrinome

    H2H Freddy Mercuries

    Wife Pleasers (grunted out by Sparky)

    Jane Fondas (Right)

    100s

    …and 1 Burpee

    Counterama; Name-orama; Maverick prayed out the group of 21 PAX. Thanks for following my handicapped lead, men. SYITG.