Tag: Zoolander

Disclaimer: yes, most of this was written well ahead of time, Zoolander, and copied and pasted, edited, and spellchecked (I think).

30 degrees greeted a Pax of 13 this morning, perfect sunrise, a little chilly from the remnants of rain.

Too cold to be called a Warmup (all IC, between 10 and 25x)
– Sealjacks
– Good mornings
– High knees
– Cherry pickers
– Grass grabbers
– Self love
– Imperial walkers

Thangs before the Thang
(1) Mosey down Girod, stopping every block or so for some Ro-Cham-Burpee (10 rounds of rock, paper, scissors, the winner performs merkins, the loser burpees)

Things we learned:
– Zoolander and Jose were “pretty even” through 2 rounds
– Guinea Pig had incredible fortune until he ran into the buzzsaw of YHC’s scissors
– The ground is cold without gloves

(2) Card sharks (Complete exercises based on card count, next round guess higher or lower, a correct guess multiplies the rep 2x, incorrect 3x)
– Crab cakes
– Scissor kicks
– Peter Parker’s
– Big boi situps
– Plank jacks
– American hammers
– Murder bunnies
– Monkey humpers

Things we learned:
– Murder bunnies are a favorite of YHC
– The deck was most certainly not stacked to finish on an Ace (with a 3x multiplier)
– Guinea Pig played great strategy on the 10
– Jose redeemed himself with higher/lower

Thang

YHC is not what one would call creative. Completely left-brained, my world revolves around number and order and sequence. I struggle to keep beatdowns fresh. Most of my planning is either “that’s a good idea, let’s modify that” or “what’s a game I’ve played that can be transformed into a beatdown?” The latter held true for a spirited and, at times, confusing, game of:

Never have I ever (Q calls out an action, If you’ve done said action, move to one side. If not, move to the other. Exercise and rep count will vary based on what side you’re on)

Actions (“Yes” first exercise listed, “No”second one listed, most of them look right, there was some modification)

(1) Q’ed the Mothership – 10 merkins, 5 burpees

(2) Fartsacked a Q – 10 burpees, 10 merkins

(3) Intentionally run a red light – 10 burpees, 15 squats

(4) Picked up the 6 – 3 calf raises, 15 SMCs

(5) Fallen asleep at work – 25 hallelujah squats, 5 Peter Parker’s

(6) Called a partner the wrong name – 10 donkey kicks, 5 arm circles

(7) Cut my own or someone else’s hair – 10 merkins, 20 SSH

(8) Dated a friend’s ex – lap around Granny’s, 5 merkins

(9) Stopped to help some with roadside car trouble – 5 jump squats, 25 Apollo Ohnos

(10) Let someone cut in line in front of me – 10 mountain climbers, 10 burpees

(11) Played wordle – bear crawl, mosey

(12) Slept in my car – 20 star jumps, 10 arm circles

(13) Hit a parked car – 20 groiners, 5 merkins

(14) Sent an inappropriate text or message to the wrong person – 5 burpees, 5 merkins

(15) Been frisked or in a police car – 30 squats, 10 cherry pickers

(16) Removed an inappropriate amount of clothes in public – 10 burpees, 1 burpee

Things we learned:
– Too many lawyers in the Pax. We had to define “partner”, “hit”, “date”, “mothership”, “intentional”, as well as clarify what is meant by “inappropriate” and “slept”
– Even after 16 rounds, some of us aren’t really sure which side to go to
– There were at least two people who found themselves on the side I didn’t expect them to be on (Names redacted, let the speculation commence)
– Other things that should not be broadcast here to protect the innocent
– Best line of the Thang (paraphrased): I paid for that 20 years ago and now Russo is making me pay for it again.

After enough absolution, Pax moseyed back to the flag in a modified Indian run where the lead runner peels off and heads to the back.

COT, Name-o-Rama, announcements, and prayer closed us out.

Announcements
– HogsBreath and Pass Interference are planting the Slidell flag on Monday at 5:30!
– Hammer is pulling together a fundraiser for the Nehemiah Project in mid-March. I’ll let him provide more details on this worthy cause.
– There were multiple prayer requests, including friends and family of Akbar, Bubba, Bird, and Jose, so a focus of our prayer was on mental/physical health and God’s gifts of healing, comfort, mercy, and peace.

One final word on something Bubba brought up:

There is an awful lot we shoulder every day: work, family, commitments, temptation, life’s difficulties, you name it. We may tend to bottle up stress or pressure until we just can’t take it anymore.

Most of us have found F3 to be a release of some of that pressure. We’ve stumbled upon a group that, despite our imperfections, will absolutely stand tall in the face of adversity and stand with our brothers. I thank God every day for this group, and each of the men that have helped to shape me into a better human being. You are all leading by example and my prayer is that we do that for everyone around us.

Maybe you pick up the 6 more, or reach out to ask how something went for someone this week. Maybe you share your Q source, and then make sure it gets read. Maybe you spend a couple hours to drop everything and help someone move. There are countless other examples that I hope we have and can point to when things get tough. There are too many other examples for me to list.

If anyone is struggling, reach out. My ear is always ready to be bent. SYITG 🤛🏼