F3 New Orleans

Tag: Zoolander

  • 2 to 22 too – from Russo

    Cool for some, not for others this morning as a dozen HIM took to the streets to make themselves stronger. Very basic this week as I’ve run out of creativity but not heart.

    Warmup IC 10x
    – SSHs
    – imperial walkers
    – Self love
    – arm circles
    – Good mornings
    – High knees
    – Torso twists

    Thang

    Given the date, I had to throw in the number 2. We would mosey around, stopping periodically for some combination of 2 burpees plus 22 of one or two exercises:
    Lunges
    Squats
    Monkey humpers
    Jump squats
    Merkins
    Wide merkins
    Shoulder taps
    Plank jacks
    Gas pumps
    American Hammers
    Crunchy Frogs
    Leg raises
    Flutter kicks
    SMCs
    Apollo Ohnos
    Freak Nastys
    Step ups
    Box jumps (though only 11)
    BSSs

    Midway through we made it to the Splashpad for two calf raises up each step and 2 rounds of slalom the columns.

    Back at the flag, it was 11 IC penguins, LBCs, flutter kicks and we closed with COT, NOR, A, and P.

    I enjoyed the camaraderie of each of you and thanks for joining.

    SYITG

  • Foggy on the Escalator – from Russo

    I realize this may be late in at least one or two people’s eyes, but we can’t all be superstars.

    Warmup (10x IC)
    Seal jacks
    Grass grabbers
    SSHs
    Arm circles
    Torso twists
    Imperial walkers

    Thang

    I tried to make at least half of the beatdown mosey-related for the RCR folks, so we did just that: moseyed around old Mandeville, stopping on average every block or two to perform reps of 10 exercises in what I call an “Escalator”, or as Chewy rightly called it: “Sudoku”. Exercise 1 gets 10 reps, Exercise 2 gets 9 reps, down to one. Next round, Exercise 1 gets 1 rep, 2 gets 10, R&R until as Steve was first to chime each will get 55 reps for a total of 550 movements. Math!

    The exercises:
    Shoulder tap plank jacks
    Star jumps
    Merkins
    Burpees
    Jump squats
    Murder bunnies
    American hammers
    Crunchy frogs
    Donkey kicks
    Imperial squat walkers

    The weather: Foggy! As thick as I’ve seen this year (39 days in). This, humid so sweat was a plenty. Around 64 degrees to start, so within the 3.7 degree window that Quarterpipe will join us in.

    The music: Not Jose’s

    We timed it well enough that there was no Mary, so COT, NOR, announcements, and prayer closed us out.

    Coffee afterward, which is apparently a thing and I may or may not have needed a special engraved invitation for.

    Thank you all for joining and making the world a better place. SYITG

  • KISS with Crucial Taunt – from Jose10k

    Late Friday evening, when everyone else was busy pretending their weekend plans were too important to sweat it out, I decided to keep it “simple stupid” and crank out a Murph at the marsh. Because why not combine the serenity of nature with a borderline masochistic workout, right?

    We kicked things off with a quick warm-up around the flag—mostly to loosen up, but also to stall and hope for a miracle excuse to skip leg day. No such luck. Straight to the marsh we moseyed, where we proceeded to grind through 20 sets of 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups, and 20 squats.

    Now, here’s where the comedy gold begins. You’ve got Bird over there doing jump squats with a full spin like he’s auditioning for Cirque du Soleil, and Zoolander showing off with thumb-only pull-ups and one-legged inverted Bulgarian split squats. The rest of us? Oh, we were doing our own kind of heavy lifting—debating whether Guns N’ Roses could out-mosh New Kids on the Block, swapping embarrassing stories about our ‘90s crushes, and contemplating if VH1’s Behind the Music counts as cardio.

    After wrapping up the Murph and rethinking life choices, we moved on to some Lt. Dan lunge-walking—because who doesn’t love a good Forrest Gump reference in the middle of quad destruction? We finally ran into Grundy, who had been “enthusiastically” searching for us by running laps around the lakefront. (Sure, buddy. We believe you.)

    Stop signs became our new nemeses, where we busted out 20 squats at each one. At the second-to-last stop, we switched it up with two rounds of 20 penguins and 20 LBCs because nothing screams camaraderie like flapping around like aquatic birds. A few brave souls sprinted to the flag to finish strong while the rest of us casually redefined what counts as a “sprint.”

    We wrapped up with C.O.T., where Russo prayed us out, undoubtedly asking for divine intervention to heal our sore muscles and to forgive Bird and Zoolander for showing us all up.

    Thanks for letting me lead, gentlemen. Next time, let’s try something harder—like keeping a straight face when Zoolander breaks out those one-legged shenanigans again.

  • Coming to you live in 25, first Saturday beatdown of the year! – from Jose10k

    OK Waterpik was the only one out there early doing the pre-thing. It was a nice chilly morning. Started off with the usual warm-up size straddle hops torso twist grass grabbers windmills you know you got the usual Bushwacker grumble grumble as always. All right mosey to Noah’s ark this is where my partner in crime Jv took over. It was a simple Dora 100 Americans 200 LBC’s 300 squats while partner one did the exercise partner to ran the block. After that I took over and we decided to mosey to the marsh stopping at every other stop sign to do 23 squats 10 Merkens in honor of Notre Dame winning 23 to 10 against Georgia. Once we got to the basketball courts, we split it up into three teams each team two teams battling on the basketball courts for six minutes while the third team was on the playground equipment doing sets of five pull-ups 10 Merkins 15 squats rinse and repeat over and over again Both teams ended up in a tie which to be honest I didn’t prepare for that so we kind of waste a little bit of time trying to figure out who was gonna be the next team up. My team got destroyed Truecoat and Zoolander, which is too much in the paint for our only one basketball player Grundy to try to compete against him then we mow it all the way back straight around there circled around the flag And then Butt Splice and Manny join us for coffee afterwards, which is always a pleasant surprise and that’s about it nightmare after Christmas or nightmare before Valentine’s Day or nightmare during Mardi Gras season or hell it might be nightmare on Memorial Day, but Grundy’s getting some coming soon so be on the lookout for thatI appreciate y’all coming out. Appreciate Jv help me you and I’d say I’m out. See you in the glom gentlemen.

  • Let’s start this party with a bang – from Jose10k

    A bunch of gentlemen got together this morning to finally put forth an epic beatdown worthy of the first day of 2025. Bushwhacker was first up, it was Round Robin style, and of course Bushwhacker started off giving a wonderful description of his beatdown. The detailed, thought out approach was mesmerizing. His intensity is legendary, however, Ten minutes later, he just simply called out 100-100s and he was done. Next up was Bird. Bird gave us his infamous yoga workout, which was unbelievably increasingly difficult. Stretches, handstands, where he walked around with three people on both of his feet while he was handstanding on one arm. Epic. Akbar kept it simple: 3 rounds of Stone Mountains increasing by 5 up the street, then decreasing by 5 back down. Grundy was up next. That’s when he brought out 2 100 pound sandbags and a spear. We each took turns trying to hit the unlucky man carrying the sandbags with the spear. Luckily, no one could hit the broad side of a barn. But we did hear Grundy yell “ If you think you want to quit, don’t quit! JV was grumble grumble, but more pissed about the pace for next years turkey trot. Next up was Einstein with Star Jacks and the. Norwegian speed skater workout. we hate him for that. Next up was Fledge with hot sauce. We always enjoy the hot sauce, it’s good stuff. BBQ was up with some, uh, Al Gore Thorough Goods, and a cadence that was very, very questionable. And of course, there was Hammer, and Hammer simply said, let’s do burpees, while giving us random 80s and 90s pop culture trivia. Shooter had donkey kicks. Hate donkey kicks. And those damn dice and jump rope. Ken from Humana will beat you down, but get you a great deal on healthcare with his own personal birthday celebrations. Shooter than called out for Steve to go next. Steve with his Bulgarian Split Squats and his cracking burpees. I’m so sick of those, Steve. The next person up on the list, well, it was Moby. Oh, Moby and that damn chain. I’m so sick of that chain. But at 74, soon to be 75, I guess he can do whatever the hell he wants. Zoolander was next up, and he doesn’t have a signature exercise, but god dang, does he not just look dapper. He was wearing those iconic aviator sunglasses and the feathered hair just in a perfect form. It’s epic. Waterpik and his perfect squats. Perfect form, and then a nice, you know, three-mile jog to warm us all up. And then while we’re doing all that, my nephew Speedy comes around the corner after running 15 miles with a four-minute, three-thirty-second pace. And then there was somebody going, huh? And that was Frank from Rommel trying to wrestle Russo down to the ground to try to convince him that Forrest Gump was the greatest movie ever made. All Russo wanted to do was a round of “Never have I ever” , and I’m still not convinced of the rules. While that was going on, Cowbell ran by on mile six of his jog this morning. We all then did our best Christopher Walken impression. All in all, none of this actually happened because Moby and I were the only two stupid idiots to get up on New Year’s Day. But I included all the gentlemen I could possibly think of to summarize the 2024 F3 beatdowns that I’ve grown to love and hate. But just wanted to give shout outs to people that if you made the list, you had of great importance to me. And if you did not mention you, I’ll just honest with you, I’m delirious on about 3 hours of sleep. SYITG

  • December Flickerball Challenge – from TruCoat

    A robust group assembled Saturday morning for some friendly strife on the Northshore Flickerball Field and a bit of personal challenge. The group began the work-out by competing in an abbreviated IronPAX 2022 Challenge, CARE BEAR SQUARED. Each competitor completed several iterations of a 100-yard course, with sets of 25 air squats, merkins, big boy sit-ups, and burpees interspersed by different forms of the bear crawl. Most hit the intended mark of 250 reps or 2.5 total iterations in the 20 minutes allotted.

    With the warm-up complete, we turned to the main event, Youth versus Beauty (Seniors) in a 25-minute game of flickerball. As expected, the Seniors built momentum early and took the lead as Zoolander whizzed one into the narrow goal. The game remained 1 to nil despite constant attacks by the Seniors, with the Youth’s star defended, Dukes of Hazzard, devoting his body multiple times to the ensure a solid defense! Dukes’ dedication sparked several inspired runs by the Youth, capped off three times by the unstoppable Brexit. With the score flipped in the Youths favor and time winding down, the Seniors launched multiple attacks to no avail. The game ended dramatically with a ball in the Lake drifting towards New Orleans. Bushwacker, aka WaterBoy-Aquaman, bravely entered the ice-cold, gator infested waters to retrieve the ball and commit to a re-match against the Youth one day. Prayer and coffee followed.

  • Ruck was the right call!! – from Shooter

    The Gloom was crisp and cool, so 7 HIMs decided to take the pill to get after it.

    Warmup was a mix of 10 & 15 IC of Imperial walkers, Hillbillies, Grass grabbers, seal claps, seal jacks, toe touches, butt kicks and slow squats..

    YHC decided to join Ringo as he was the only Rucker around.. Wise choice by the Q for two reasons. One was the soreness lingering from the previous beatdown at the Gipper with Dinghy but the second was the best as it allowed me to catch up in chatter on how things have been with Ringo..

    Sent the gazelles out on the traditional route with two loops and this included the savage Jose10k. I heard in closing he has joined forces with Steve for the Turkey trot and will be present Turkey morning at the Scramble as well.. What discipline and dedication is all I can say..

    All arrived back at the same time 0555 where we dropped to our 6 and completed E to Ks, flutters and penguins ending with a PAX choice ring around the circle of shoulder taps, plank jacks, Peter Parker’s, merkins, groiners and donkey kicks..

    Closed with the FINAL Turkey announcement for the Scramble, COT.

    Until the next Gloom!!!

  • Bleeping Walls of Jericho, VQ – from Ballz Deep

    As the light dappled across lake Ponchartrain, it was clear in @Chewy’s eyes he regretted posting. In fact, on this day, @Ballz Deep’s VQ, I think he regretted EH’ing me 9ish months ago.

    Arm circlesx10forward/x10backward, hillbilly walkersx10, ass grabbersx10 (thanks @Jose 10K I need to practice that Exicon!), windmillsx10, and side straddle hopsx25 for the warmup. I empathize with @Brexit, as English is his second language, in learning cadence. That stuff is hard!!

    Mosey’d to The Shaft, where accelerated fitness awaited us.

    Main Workout: Shuttle Run “bleep test” and Wall of Jericho.

    Shuttle Run level + Wall of Jericho had to equal 12. i.e. – level 5 shuttle run finish, leaves you with 7 rounds of the Wall of Jericho workout. Wall of Jericho (7 exercises of 7 reps +1 lap around cones and The Shaft) were Plank Jacks, SMKs (2 is 1), Burpees, Air Squats, Mountain Climbers (2 is 1), American Twists (2 is 1), and Flutter Kicks (2 is 1).
    A round of 7s (mtn climbers and flutter kicks) plus Indian Run and a plank-0-rama closed us out.

    Chance, Buttsplice’s nephew, joined us! FNG named WetSocks, for his astounding ability to run from the Shaft to Homebase in a pair of socks.

    P.S – I believe I’m forgetting the 16th PAX. I’m sorry. Reply if you remember, and I’ll edit/add you.

    SYITG!

  • Celeste and Lisa’s Donkey Kick-Off on the Escalator – from Russo

    Great Saturday at the Lakefront

    Warmup (10x – 15x IC)
    Air presses
    Torso twists
    Self love
    Toe touches
    Grass grabbers
    Hillbillies
    High knees
    Seal jacks

    Thang: Mosey down Girod to the trailhead and back, stopping along the way for a round of “the escalator”, aka “Chewy’s Soduku. The concept: 10 exercises, 10 rounds. Rep count goes from 10 to 1. Next round: 10 rep count moves to 9, 9 moves to 8, rinse and repeat. At the end of 10 rounds, each of the 10 exercises will have been performed 55 times. Math!

    The exercises:
    Merkins
    Partner Merkins
    8 count body builders
    Donkey kicks
    Leg raises
    Gas pumps
    Jump squats
    Imperial squat walkers
    Star jumps
    Murder Bunnies

    Somewhere in the middle, to break up monotony and provide a little halftime entertainment, YHC challenged Bird to a “donkey kick-off”…select your winner and get it right, and you’re exempt from that round. The rules were not clear, nor was the starting gun, so despite YHC winning round 1, there was a round 2, won by Bird. Choosing to hedge the bet, we called it at a tie until further notice.

    Back at the flag, we wrapped up with the COT, Name-o-Rama, and prayer, welcoming FNG Cankles!

    Thank you all for participating in the now yearly tradition of forgoing at least one week of IronPax.

    SYITG

  • The scramble – from Waterpik

    4 pax converged on mandeville city hall for the scramble. Like every week, we solved all of the world’s problems during our 4.4 mile jaunt across the quiet, peaceful, gloomy mandeville lakefront. Pace was 8:30.