F3 New Orleans

Tag: Yankee Joe

  • Two-fer One; We Belong Together (by Dox AND Goose) – from Paradox

    Opener: Dox
    2 roads diverged in then den
    And sorry YHCc could not travel both
    And being 2 pax long they stood
    Until 8 more HCs knew they should
    Cardinals claim,  was it right and just?
    The answer is no but the CoQ was a must
    Yet knowing how way leads to way
    We’ll keep his Q for another day
    The CoQs built a beatdown rep by rep
    There’s  a big race coming we still need the prep …

    Duke! Stop ripping off Bob Frost and roll that beautiful footage

    Warmup: Goose
    When the Cardinal-ready PAX heard that YHC and Dox were co-Q-ing, there was an astonished moment of silence. Was this scientifically possible? Two heavy hitters with two very different styles; both frighteningly all-in, tall, and good looking, but was there room in one beatdown for both? What would happen? It was like putting a gorilla in a pen with a walrus, or an alligator with a jaguar, or a bull and a bear, or a shark and Mike Tyson. Could they join forces, or would they just stare at each other wondering what move the other would make?
    Ultimately, it was a mixture of both as YHC told Paradox to come up with his usual warmup mashup ridiculousness, while I went the practical route. But, after the forward arm circle/high knees, it seemed only appropriate to match the Yin with the Yang and do backward arm circle butt kicks. This then led to P-dox leading self-love lunges, which, of course, was followed by YHC’s Moroccan Night Club Windmills. The chemistry had begun, and there was no stopping the fallout.

    Song 1: Paradox
    The coQs had a few jams planned to get the muscles loose. YHCc wanted to started with “Move Along”  by All American Rejects as a tribute to moving along from last years SV500 trauma and to talk about the first time I was dumped. Did I cry in my 02 Chevy blazer with the factory 10s?  (I kept them clean)
    Yes
    Did my now ex girlfriends dad have to jumpstart my car after the battery died in their driveway. Also yes
    But here I am after Moving along and better for it and this was my hope for the pax.
    We released the pain with hand release Merkin burpees on each “move along” and let the pain tears flow on the concrete.
    Popeye is our local burpee variation expert and I could see he appreciated it a lot.

    Song 2: Goose
    One of YHC’s fondest memories from when I was a student at LSU was the time spent in shared suffering with good brothers at the Rec Center gym. We enjoyed quality time together most days, working out before heading to class. This included a refreshing shower surrounded by mostly old men who tended to clear out relatively quickly not long after we arrived. It might have had something to do with the singing, but the jury is still out. We gravitated mostly to 80’s hits, our favorite being “We Belong” by Pat Benitar, which we sung with all the passion we could muster after a tough workout in a strikingly accurate pitch.
    YHC figured we could harness that same energy this morning to bring a sense of belonging to the PAX, especially after Dox’s story of isolation and whoa.
    We split into groups of three (one with four), and laid down with our heads together looking at the stars. The PAX were then directed to hold six inches (Legs, Yankee Joe. Get your “belonging” straight.) for the duration of the song, and execute a leg raise for every “belong”, touching toes together at the top.
    It was good. It was really good.

    First Thang: Dox
    The SV 150
    Mosey to the basketball court and partner up
    Buy in was 1 full suicide to get to the signs at the other end of the court, and after completing the chosen number of sets (given on the sign) frog hop back to get your bling

    Bronze: 10 points
    Silver: 15
    Gold: 25

    Stations for your choosing:
    1 Bobby Hurleys
    2 SSH
    3 freddy mercuries
    4 mountain climbers
    5 leg raise Dora with fence run
    6 Bonnie Blairs

    You cannot repeat a station and
    10 minute timer till we had a winner

    This went along with what YHC planned for a cardio torcher mixed with some core work. As always, it was great to be under the watchful Eye of Yankee “Sauron” Joe for an iron sharpening form critique. Great team efforts across the board. The jello legs set in very quick with frog hops and huge T – claps to Safety Valve his 4th in a row post and for continuing to pretend that being YHC’s partner is a good time.
    In the end Team Ronnie/Jeaux rekindled that old flame from last years fling to take 1st place with 100 points.
    YJ conquered his inner zinc demons and was all about the Climb  with his new found knowledge that Miley Cyrus and Hanna Montana are the same person (not a Finkle/Einhorn situation).

    Second Thang: Goose
    We gathered ALL the gear and headed back to the flag. Again, YHC had to decide between a practical grinder of 11’s, or a fun, yet challenging competition. And, again, the chemistry took over, so the fun spirit of competition continued.
    YHC grabbed some baseballs (actual baseballs, YJ) as the PAX split into new teams of three. Each team got a ball, and YHC introduced Rarajipari, a game in which teams run and kick a ball a given distance. The only rule given this morning were that the ball couldn’t be kicked by the same PAX twice. The starting line was the entrance driveway, and we had to kick it around the civic center to the mouth of the opposite driveway (a little over a quarter mile, I think). And, since it only took five minutes to complete this, we turned around and took it back the other way (to the delight of all).
    Athleticism was helpful, and endurance was a must, but the drive to get to the ball was the ultimate factor in this one. Most ran the loop faster than they otherwise would have–this caused the PAX (minus those who had attended the NOLA convergence a couple of years ago) to be surprised at how physically demanding this game is. Ultimately, though, since this crew was made up of some very driven men, it seemed that the soccer skills of Yankee Joe and Safety Valve were the deciding factor in giving their team the win. (YHC could get to the ball but couldn’t seem to kick it more than three feet, and even then, in an unhelpful direction.)

    COT, Valve got the loaded GiGi, and Pope prayed us out.

    Conclusion: Dox

    I shall be telling this with a sigh
    At some AO ages and ages hence
    The men of F3 take the road less traveled
    And that has made all the difference

  • Endurance – from Paradox

    YHC arrived a touch early to the stage to set out a few cones on the back end of Richmans loop for a light cardio routine (rest and recovery is my thing ya know)
    . All was set, a few minutes to spare when nature called. YHC has become quite a fine purveyor of port o potty’s during my career at the stage. When demand meets supply plus IBS…well..Dr. Maught can tell you the rest of that equation this fall. I took a lovely light mosey to a very new Po’P to reread my bd notes.
    After reviewing the walls and wondering why I should call Terry for a good time (does he know we have a free men’s workout?) I hustled out to make good timing. That’s when I slipped and hit my head on the curb and the lights when out….

    …
    Somewhere in the Wedel Sea
    during “The other expedition”

    Fierce polar winds threatened to rip our tent apart with every breath as we huddled inside for warmth. Captain Goose had called this meeting on our 400th day at sea, floating aimlessly on the pack ice.

    He peered at us through a thick frosted beard
    “I’ll be straight with you men. We’ve got 800 miles to cover in a 20 foot life boat to save the pax we left on Fartsack island.
    There’s 9 of us and only enough provisions for 8.
    There’s also a pistol with 1 bullet left..”
    The tent door rustled open sharply and YJ popped is head in
    “What are y’all doing in here, is this an SLT meeting? Anyway I’m doing my heavy hands routine out here to stay warm if anyone wants to join” …cricket chirps…
    “Nobody?” This time even the Antarctic cricket was silent.
    He went back out and a collective sigh spread through the men.
    YHC shook his head in reply “ I’m sorry, we had to bring him, Rienzi 1 percenters funded the trip ya know “
    Captain Goose cleared his throat to re-establish order “Well it’s going to take every ounce of strength we have to save those men and…”
    YJ pops back in visibly more excited.
    “Hey I created a song called ice ice baby , it’s got a dope beat y’all come listen “ then he strutted back out.
    Across the tent, Tana pulled the last bullet from his shirt pocket, his gaze still stuck on the place YJ stood, he handed it to YHC with a nod. “Save it till we are starving but when the time comes you know what to do. Back of the head and Make sure he knows his backblasts were the best. “
    YHC racked the shell into his pistol as a single tear formed then froze in the artic gloom.
    Silence descended on the tent
    “For the pax” I said as the light faded …
    …

    YHC regained consciousness just in time to walk up and meet 9 sea worthy men at the stage in record setting humidity. They trickled in slowly following an abnormally early Cardinal arrival (61% sleep and fresh roasted grounds works wonders, can’t wait for his Q Thursday ).
    We circled up, all smiles, and only one of us knew what was waiting in the depths of the loop.

    Duke it’s time to cross Antarctica!
    Roll the footage !

    Warmups
    The usuals with 30 IWs by request because some jerk made us coupon lunge on Saturday. Chatter was at a zero but Bone thugz was just getting warmed up! A mosey to the bumper to get started.

    YHC started a series of beatdowns today to honor men throughout history that displayed courage and leadership in the face of great adversity.
    We shall call it Memorable Men Mondays (thanks smooth)

    Today we salute you …
    Sir Ernest Shackleton
    Considered one of the last great Antarctic Explorers. Most famous for his attempt to be the first to cross Antarctica in 1914 and today we would focus on his leadership during that expedition.

    First we needed to go back in time to 1914 and you if you are going to return 109 years the only appropriate travel is Nur. Goose repeated this a few times then seemed to accept it and I fear where his next time travel Q may take us.
    So we ran backwards to the fresh paint lot into the age of exploration.

    August 1 1914 : the ship Endurance sets sail from London to South Georgia Island with 28 men aboard as the Imperial TransAntartic Expedition begins. Their goal is to make landfall on Antarctica , hike across with sled dogs, and meet up with another crew on the other side…simple right?

    28 merkins for the 28 men aboard endurance.

    From South Georgia they left land and unknown to them would not return for 497 days.

    Stuck in pack Ice only 60 miles from their land destination the Endurance began to slowly be crushed by relentless pack ice and they were forced to abandon ship and camp on the drifting ice.

    “Ice Ice Baby “ by Vanilla Ice
    Rock Balboas – Jump Knee Tucks on ice ice baby.
    The pax had trivia which would free them from the Vanilla torture.
    What Year was song released? (1990) 1 minute
    What is vanilla ice real Name- Robert Van Winkle 2 minutes
    What lawsuit did this song create – Queen Under Pressure copyright) 3 minutes
    Two minutes were gained after Goose and YJ had a classic senior moment and went with 1991.

    Indian run to the back of Richmans loop where we found YHCs full arsenal of COUS (coupons of unusual size, thanks Tap) with the coup de grace being a rowing machine YHC plucked from his brother in law several months ago in a blockbuster trade deal for sketchy discount medical care. The concrete schoolyard was ready and the pax were willing.

    At this point Shackletons crew , after watching their beloved ship be crushed by ice and sink, must traverse roughly 100 miles of unruly pack ice all in 3 life boats to the closest land , Elephant Island .

    To honor this YHC put together a circuit with various tasks to represent the varied tasks of the men of Endurance .
    Everyone found a cone and we got to work.

    Voyage 1 Circuit
    45 seconds
    Patience Camp to Elephant Island

    1 rowing – 28s/m
    2 seal jacks
    3 Med ball hammers
    4 med ball v ups
    5. mountain climber
    6. Leg raises
    7. Suicides
    8. Hickory Lunges
    9. Freddy merks

    The pax performed admirably here despite minimal directions from YHC. Bone thugs has progressed into quite a force of mumblechatter and started to find his voice as the reps piled up. Pope continues to be an unstoppable force.

    In a 5 day journey the men make it to Elephant island 1/2 starved, several with frost bite but still fighting.
    Shackleton makes the decision to put 5 men (including himself) in the James Caird, their best life boat and attempt an 800 mile trip to South Georgia Island to get help. They leave with 23 men on the island knowing that if they fail , everyone will perish.

    Voyage 2 Circuit
    60 seconds
    Elephant Island to South Georgia
    800 miles
    1. rowing
    2. SSH
    3. BBSU w ball
    4. Med ball v up
    5. Flutter kicks
    6. Apollo Onos
    7. Nur suicide
    8. KB thrusters
    9. Med ball smash

    800 miles, 17 days and a hurricane in the most feared polar sea on planet earth and the 5 men survive to arrive at South Georgia Island.
    One final task to reach help and rescue their shipmates….
    A 26 mile hike across the island (which is basically a glacier) to civilization.

    Time to hoof it.

    We left everything for a 1/2 mile sprint back to the flag.

    COT and Goose prayed us out

    T- Claps to Safety Valve for his second post after the Catan massacre. Solid work from BT as well.

    SV 500 on Aug 12!
    Jambalaya tickets for sale

    NMM
    I stumbled upon this incredible story this summer and it blew me away. The perseverance through obstacles, the mounting intensity, and the odds looking worse and worse at every turn will have you on the edge of your seat. It has my highest reading recommendation. ( See links below) .
    The ability of Shackleton to have the men buy into giving everything they had to save the man next to them or the ones left behind was simply incredible.

    Clearly we don’t face anything even in this stratosphere on a day to day basis but it did remind me of the men in my own life. The ones ready to empty the tank when the cause is great and the glory not our own.
    Grateful to be surrounded by you gents, nobody id rather be in the boat with.

    https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/127307/?refId=40886&detailsLocale=US&refId=41464&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7-y_mZW6gAMVcwetBh0rIgy7EAQYASABEgL8EPD_BwE

    Epilogue

    “The Other Expedition”

    It was day 497 at sea for the 9 men who had left Fartsack island to find help.
    The provisions gone , the boat held together in tatters, most men with blackened toes and fingers.
    8 souls crumpled into the bottom of the boat clinging to life….

    All but one continued to row.

    The one they had saved the bullet for.

    Scientist would later spend decades trying to explain how this man single-handedly saved his crew. Some say it was years of his heavy hands routines. Others say that the only manuscript of his backblasts were in that boat and he knew the world needed them.
    But only the men of F3 Thibodaux knew
    , it was the chatter , all he ever needed was the chatter.

    “Ice Ice Baby” Joe whispered as he peered into the sky and led the boat to land.
    His pax were safe and the chatter would live on.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Dad Music: The Only Kind of Music That Matters – from Goose

    Anytime YHC is given the opportunity to take a Q with relatively short time to plan, that one Q idea that’s been eating at me, the one that keeps popping up every time I’m doing dishes or yardwork and that one song comes on demanding to be honored in the gloom, that’s the one that wins the day. There’s not enough time to work through the typical through process: “Nah, not that one; it looks like a lot of fun on paper, but these chumps wouldn’t appreciate it. Better do something a little more practical.” So, BAPS is requested at 4:50am, and Oontz ends up having to carry it. And carry it well if I do say so myself…and I do…say so myself.

    Alright, the warmup:
    The usuals, but Enron tried to take the moral high ground this time saying that somehow his count was the gold standard,despite the mumblechatter flowing forth like wine from his general area. Conflict continued for the duration as to who carried the rightful rep number, and truth was lost somewhere deep under the many layers of misplaced confidence. Tana was pleased.

    Mosey time led us to the first light at Rich Man’s Loop in a potential Indian Run formation. YHC then explained that we would be cycling through the following transportation methods at each light: run, nur (run backwards–you get it?), carioca L, carioca R, side shuffle L, side shuffle R. This started as pretty tough, but most of the PAX got in a groove toward the end, and it was a good way to warm up the system and work on some agility.

    Once back at the flag, YHC revealed that Name That Tune would carry us through the rest of the beatdown. This was the third installment of Name That Tune, and YHC was a little trepidatious after the last two–a bunch of young ‘uns knew very little, and many hints had to be given to save tired muscles and a drooping morale, both times. But, this time, with so many new guys north of 40 and with a possible French Horn (the mutant 21-year-old) in the mix, YHC was a little more confident we’d get through more than five songs. But, when Horn didn’t show and with America’s Best out of the country, I wondered if Jeaux, Honeysuckle, and Popeye would be able to carry all that extra weight. Well, as it turns out, they could have carried much, much more.

    The rules were as follows: an exercise would be executed for the duration of the song unless the PAX could identify the artist or the title, either of which would allow for stoppage halfway through. Identifying both would allow for a full stop, and we’d skip to the next one.
    Here’s the song list (it was shuffled, so not in this order) with exercises and results for each:

    * “Steppin’ Out” by Joe Jackson: Rocky Balboas on the curb–one of only two songs (sort of) that nobody knew either the title or the artist (top 5 in 1982). That was a rough 4:30.
    * “One Particular Harbor” by Jimmy Buffet: Moroccan Night Clubs–YHC fully expected that the PAX would pick up on Buffet’s voice, but no way anyone would get the title. Popeye and Honeysuckle nailed both before he even started singing. This is when I knew my list was in trouble.
    * “Solsbury Hill” by Peter Gabriel: OH clap–it took him a few seconds, but Honeysuckle pulled the title from somewhere deep, and Popeye followed immediately with the artist. Unbelievable.
    * “Walk of Life” by Dire Straits: hillbilly walkers–last night I though this one might carry all the way through, but by the time this one started this morning, I knew it was done for in the first few seconds; and it was.
    * “Kyrie” by Mr. Mister: genuflections–this one was the only one (besides “Stepping Out”) that went as expected. Nobody knows who Mr. Mister is.
    * “The Mountains Win Again” by Blues Traveler: step ups onstage–YHC wasn’t sure how deep into Blues Traveler this PAX may have ventured, but when Popeye shared openly that he’d shed a tear or two to this one in tenth grade, I knew I was finally among my people. He let it play out a bit just to reminisce and get some quad burn, but eventually shut it down before it got real.
    * “Boys of Summer”: BBSU–by this time, Popeye was just toying with us. He let this one linger halfway through, even giving the PAX what should have been some solid hints, but he ended up being the one to pull the trigger again after the second refrain.
    * “Higher Love” by Steve Winwood: OH press–this one actually played first, and Honeysuckle and Popeye blasted it with both barrels within the first two notes. YHC almost lost composure, but was able to hold it together and pretend that I had put that one on there as a gimme. I mean, Popeye was coming out with like middle names and birth dates and stuff.
    * “Home” by Marc Broussard: butt kicks–the title of this one was pretty self evident, but Tana came from out of nowhere with the artist within the first few seconds. This one was supposed to trip up the old guys since it’s a little more niche, but Tana swatted it like Mutombo.
    * “Paint it Black” by The Rolling Stones: calf raises–by the time this one came on, YHC already had his finger on the skip button. No hope.
    * “Drumline Cadence” Tiger Band: high knees (skipping cadence)–YHC knew this one didn’t stand much of a chance, but it’s fun. We came back to this one at the end and let it carry us out with a few minutes of cardio.
    * “Funk #49” by The James Gang: LBC’s–
    Honeysuckle: “Joe Walsh?”
    YHC: “Nope”
    HS: “Is that Joe Walsh?”
    YHC: “Nope”
    HS: “You sure that’s not Joe Walsh?”
    YHC: “Yep”
    HS: “That sounds like Joe Walsh.”
    YHC: “Nope”
    (After 4 minutes of funky guitar…)
    YHC (triumphantly): “That was Funk #49 by The James Gang”
    HS: “Wasn’t Joe Walsh the lead singer of The James Gang?”
    YHC: “Next song…”
    * “The Promise” by When in Rome: SSH–this one looked like it was gonna go all the way when Popeye had nothing and YJ was stuck on Duran Duran, but Honeysuckle was searching the dusty corners of his brain, and after a couple of minutes actually pulled this one out, title and artist. I’m still stunned.
    * “Take on Me” by a-ha: Peter Parkers–YJ, though I called him out at the end for his surprising lack of impact, he shot this one down with all speed once he heard what the exercise was. At least Paradox was grateful.
    * “Africa” by Toto: Freddy Merc–we had barely enough time to sit on the ground
    * “Lord of Hosts” by Shane and Shane: squats–This was Dox’s only contribution, but it took him about three quarters of the way through the song to give Tana enough information to spark old youth group memories, and the artist was identified. Not long afterward, the title was deduced, and squats were squashed.

    Thankfully, YHC created what had seemed like a much longer list than was necessary, so we only had to fill a few minutes at the end, but these dudes had me sweating, and they successfully brought about the easiest Goose Q on record. It was worth it, though, to know that I’m no longer alone. Not only did these guys know the music, they knew that it was good. Last week, Yank decried millenial music, but we still had to endure it–this week, we shunned it altogether and hopefully provided at least a few of the “kids these days” with some quality craftsmanship. You’re welcome.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Base-human-ball-man Game – from Goose

    YHC was feeling a little bit in a rut trying to come up with new ideas for the Peltch, but after some late night brainstorming, it seemed a good time for a couple of risky ideas.
    First, the warmups–usual suspects with unusually low mumblechatter, though YHC has noticed that it may be a trend on mornings where he’s Q-ing. It’s an interesting psychological phenomenon–not sure if it’s coming from dread, high count volume expectations, or short shorts and white thighs. Thankfully, Yankee and Dox were happy to intentionally inject some wittiness to wake things up a bit.

    We then grabbed coupons (most of us) and lined up for an Indian run to the Thunderdome. Sprinting to the front of the line with an awkward coupon seemed a unique challenge–the first of the day.

    Once under the dome of thunder, YHC paired with JBL and introduced a song off the first CD ever purchased for my first CD capable jambox back in ’96. Coupons were laid long-ways on the ground, and we would do Dox’s jump-switch-touch things for the duration, a two-footed hop over the coupon on every “on my way” and a genuflection for every “momabadeesay-moobadeeyah”. The song, “Send Me on My Way” is over four minutes long, which felt a little undoable with these exercises, so YHC offered to shave a minute off if anyone could guess the artist. YJ came through (like we all knew he would) with Rusted Root, and it was three and a half minutes of leg torture. YHC was grateful we did this first while we still had energy.

    Next, we hauled the coupons to the area next to the running track over by the cornhole set. YHC was looking for a partner exercise where the partners would compete so as to push the performance a bit. So, we settled on having one partner run the loop (1/2 mile) while partner two tried to complete 100 tricep curls/presses before they got back. Loser did 15 man-makers and winner did 15 big boy situps. A couple of interesting observations:
    1. 100 seemed like a lot on paper, but with the variety of runners/pressers, it was just right. And flippin’ hard.
    2. Pope is getting to be a bit ridiculous–he was ahead of Dilly by a good margin, and I found myself extremely grateful that he was in the first crew and I was in the second.
    3. Just about everyone split the difference on the man-makers with their partners. This is a good bunch of dudes.
    4. Running half a mile sucks worse than doing 100 tricep presses.

    After a 10-count or two, we headed over to the closest baseball field for the main event: base-man, or base-human, or baseball-man, or man-ball (should probably scratch that last one after YJ’s recently shared childhood baseball story). We dropped blocks at each base and then split into two teams. For the first inning, one player from Team 1 was the ball, and one player from team two was the base runner. The ball had to run to the center field fence before running back to try to get a runner out. Runners had to complete a coupon exercise before they could step on the bag and be safe. (Cardinal, you may want to read that last sentence a few more times.) Form also was important, and specific specs were given for each exercise. (Cardinal, you may want to read that last sentence a few more times.)
    YHC designed this game specifically with Cardinal in mind knowing that competition brings out the Red Hulk in him. He did not disappoint. YHC is tempted to include competitions in every Q just to see what a ripped Cardinal might look like, cuz that dude will push harder and do more reps than the rest of the group combined without even thinking about it if there’s something on the line.

    Team 1 (YHC’s team) seemed to be stacked with talent, and they made a solid showing at the top of the first inning only allowing one or two runs. Then, Team 1 became the base runners, and the momentum started to shift pretty dern quick. I don’t remember who got the first out, but Pope came through with a surprising double play, and to say we didn’t recover after that is an understatement. Next inning, Team 2 pretty much used the bases as a non-stop carousel despite some close calls and Cardinal questioning YHC’s identity as a member of a morally upright society and making a vague reference to YJ’s next visit to the Confessional. I think the final score was Team 2: something in the teens, Team 1: 1. Team 1 may have made a comeback, but time ran out, so we had to head back to the flag.

    We had just enough time for some slow, tortuous Mary that consisted of 6 in holds punctuated by occasional leg raises; high, slow flutter kicks; and Little Manny Crunches (hold for 3-count at the top).

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out due to some heavy stuff happening in the community (needed a heavy hitter on that prayer, for sure).

    It was an awesome morning, and YHC is grateful that you men showed up and played along.

    SYTIG,
    Goose

  • July 4 America USA – from Goose

    YHC and Pope rolled up a little earlier than usual this Independence Day morning, hopeful that the day off of work would mean a bigger crowd than usual for Tuesday Tuff, and this PAX did not disappoint. Smooth and Michelin were already there at 5:00am, but Pope and I were still able to sneak over to the bumper area to set up some cones without anyone noticing. By 5:15, there were 12 strong ready for a patriotic sweat fest.

    Yankee had pulled off the perfect EH by picking up an FNG, the would-be Honeysuckle. We can all learn from this–it’s much harder to fartsack when someone’s sitting in your driveway. (Maybe that’s what we need to do for some of these “hc” specialists.)

    The warmup was frought with mumblechatter and unnecessary exercise explanations (YHC though it important to go into the details of how to execute the complex “high knees” exercise–I almost pulled out YouTube for some demonstration videos).

    We then moseyed to the bumper, YHC carrying BAPS into his first ever Bleep test performance. Once the PAX saw the cones, dread spread quickly. There were only a few who didn’t know what they meant, who hadn’t yet experienced YHC’s fascination with the layers of mental and physical dynamics at work within the Bleep test. This morning, YHC connected it to our celebration of the birth of our nation by pointing out that the defining moments, the heroic and selfless acts that have become the cornerstones of our identity as a nation would not have happened, would not have been possible without countless Americans pushing through countless unrecognized and seemingly meaningless difficulties, day in and day out. The bleep test is just a 20 meter (65-ish American feet) run, done over and over. That’s it. You just gotta decide to turn around and do it again, especially when you really don’t want to. And, the only reason we do this is because the man beside us, who we care about is doing it, because we want to get better together, because we want to be a part of something bigger than us, something meaningful that was earned through shared suffering. And so, we did. Nobody earned a medal (no participation trophies or rewards for softball music trivia), we just decided to keep doing another lap. And, if you didn’t make it before the beep, you stepped off to the side to plank up or complete 20 merkins to buy your way back in. Why? Because that’s where your brothers are suffering, and there’s no better place to be!

    YHC usually lets Paradiddle and Pope push him to the limits to be the last man standing, but this morning, having heard that the FNG was an ultra-marathon runner, YHC made a subconscious decision that if it ended up being him and me left at the end, that I would go no further, as long as the previous record of 70 lengths was broken. And, that’s exactly what happened. Paradox and Pope pushed farther than they have in the past, even without Paradiddle, but they dropped off somewhere in the high 60’s, which left YHC with Honeysuckle moving into #75. And, though I wondered how much he had in him, how well distance training translated into shuttle running, I was too winded to actually care and pulled up short before finishing #76. Honeysuckle was gonna keep going had YHC not called it, and though I was curious to see how long he could have gone, he seemed to appreciate the break.

    After moseying back to the flag, we circled up for song #1. BAPS lit us up with Ray Charles’s rendition of “America the Beautiful”. We held Al Gore for the duration and did Bobby Hurleys for every “America” and every old English words (“thee”, “thine”).

    Song #2 was the Armed Forces medley, which gave us the opportunity to work the core in a variety of ways. During the Marines portion, we did flutter kicks, Navy = boat/canoe, Army = American Hammers, Coast Guard = Scuba Steves, and Air Force = gas pumps.

    After this, YHC had a general idea for how we could focus on America’s unique sense of humor exemplified by the origin of the song “Yankee Doodle” and how it became a sort of theme song for the Americans during the Revolutionary War (look it up)–basically, we Americans are proud, but we’re good at not taking ourselves too seriously.
    I think it took more time for YHC to explain the story and then the routine (counting off, counting off within the count-off, naming teams and then teams within the teams, demonstrating the exercises, redirecting Yankee Joe) than it did to actually do the routine. I mean, it was a little challenging, a little fun to watch people try to Grouch-walk quickly, but ultimately, it was too complicated, and we ultimately scrapped it in order to get back to the flag in time.
    The routine was four corners on the sidewalk track: 1. Wacky Jacks, 2. Goofballs, 3. Miami Nighclubs (Moroccans with a step back and to the side), 4. Air Presses. The first member of the team would Groucho walk to the next corner while all members performed the exercise of their corner until they were relieved by a teammate Groucho walking toward them. It was supposed to look ridiculous, which it did, but most were lost in the endless explanations and directives given throughout. I hope at least the passing cars got a kick out of it.

    At 5:58, we had to rush back to the flag for the Star Spangled Banner–we laid on our sixes and held our feet six inches off the ground for the duration of Whitney Houston singing it live with a big band. Unfortunately, though, the drama and emotion were drowned out by the pain in the lower abdominal region, and it went the route of most songs used in F3–categorized under “hatred” and “PTSD”–especially given how long she held out “…braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave!”

    COT and the FNG became Honeysuckle thanks to Econoline’s immediate wit, which made the PAX wonder if he’s been sandbagging this whole time–nobody has that much brain function at the end of a beatdown these days.
    Announcements including Goldilocks’s upcoming VQ, and Paradox prayed us out.

    SYTIG,
    Goose

  • It’s Gonna Be a Good Day – from Paradiddle

    YHC has recently felt the fire within and has been trying to recruit new pax to join this lovely cult that we call a club (both F3 and WHOOOPgang). You see, today was supposed to be a big day for one of our own. After a Friday evening prethang with Goldilocks, as we prepared our bodies (and thighs) to be sculpted into the most beautiful figures mankind could ever lay eyes on – thanks to YankeeJoe, Goldilocks, after a little peer pressure from YHC, agreed to VQ today. After a small but strong showing on Saturday, YankeeJoe had me convinced that all of the pax were out of town on the beach, pina-colada with tiny umbrella in hand. YHC was merely looking out for Goldilocks (locks, or is it lox?) by wanting a strong showing at his VQ. Locks agreed, even seeming excited to have a bit more time to prepare for the chaos he wishes to unleash upon us all this coming Thursday.

    YHC arrived with two minutes to spare (impressive, right?) to find a full showing of pax, coupons already unloaded, cheeks clenched, and mumble chatter strong. YHC was happy, and with a big smile, we began.

    Warmups were the usual not knowing how to count off anything in cadence and consisted of:
    – SSH
    – Imperial Walkers
    – Grass Grabbers (w/ the clap)
    – Open the Gates (bringing something new)

    Mumble chatter was strong and YHC was so distracted that he nearly just got right in to the beatdown. Thanks to Lil’ Cuz piping up, we actually stretched our arms (and we needed to):
    – Arm circles
    – Cherry pickers

    THANG ONE
    – Indian run w/ 3 caboose burpees
    DJ DOX was quick to be ready with ever faithful JBL, and YHC just about put him in the grave when the decision to run in silence was announced to the pax. Sometimes you just have to be alone with those inner demons and face them head on. The pace was set and kept for the run with the exception of the ever popular Cardinal-pace. We stopped midway back to the stage for a group circle of 30 Bonnie Blair’s so that we could get a bonus burn in the thighs.

    THANG TWO
    – Step Up’s & LBC’s w/ Coupons
    YHC’s current favorite tv character, Mr. Ted Lasso, has a way with people. His positivity is contagious, and many of his colleagues are often annoyed with his upbeat nature and attitude. I feel similar to Ted here. Some of the pax like to acknowledge my smile when running the Diddle Death March and other popular exercises. After my dear Ted got put down in GroupMe last night (not gonna name names *honk*), I was inspired with this routine.

    The song was “Good Day” by Nappy Roots – a real bop , frfr. We would do lbc’s with coupons on the verses and step up’s on the chorus for the duration of the song. This was sure to get the pax in a great mood this morning! We can make the decision to make it a good day from the moment we sit up in bed (lbc’s) and take our first steps of the day (step up’s).

    Mumble chatter and grunts were at a minimum, but Cuz did set the record for the most amount of bird poop anyone has laid in.

    THANG THREE
    – Merkin Mountain
    After Yankee Joe’s inspirational sharty beatdown on Saturday, YHC might have a new favorite exercise – the Merkin Mountain. YHC adapted this gem into what I’m now calling the Merkin Flatlands (which might just be tougher than the mountain – Dox I repent of saying this would be easier, I was wrong).

    We would begin with one merkin, take one step(?) in a bear crawl, two merkins, two steps in bear crawl , three merkins, three steps in bear crawl, etc until we reached 18 merkins (thanks to Cuz who remembered how many the mountain had, but im pretty sure he remembered because he got to the top right behind shari’ah and stomped the rest of us).

    This…proved to be difficult. After hearing Econoline’s thunderous grunts from afar, YHc had to pivot and reduce the mountain to 15 merkins. Those 51 pushups really would have ate our lunch.

    THANG FOUR
    – Dora
    – 100 overhead press w/ coupon
    – Partner runs a lap
    – 200 Bonnie Blair’s
    – Partner Murder Bunny’s to the second picnic table & back
    – 300 Squats
    – Partner does mountain climber’s til he tags out and swaps

    The pax plowed through the over head press and running portion, and YHC was downright inspired by Smooth making that coupon look like he was lifting a box of Kleenex above his head.

    Goose, to no surprise after May’s ISI challenge, set the pace with the Bonnie Blair’s. This is where things got challenging. Murder Bunnies are rightly named, and the pairing with Bonnie Blair’s should have had them named something even more sinister. YHC was grateful for Pope absolutely destroying the majority of our 200.

    We timed out during the 300 squats so that we could get 60sec of Mary in.

    Leg raises and flutter kicks took us out.

    *I remain ever grateful for men that continue to push one another in their fitness and their virtue. It is not lost on me that most beatdowns go by and no one complains, no one grumbles, no one brings the spirit down. This is one of the first things that made me stick around F3. I know it is a part of our culture here in F3 Thib, and we would make Ted proud.*

    “Futbol (F3) is life!” – Dani Rojas

    SYITG,
    Paradiddle

  • Gonna Have a Good Day – from Paradiddle

    YHC has recently felt the fire within and has been trying to recruit new pax to join this lovely cult that we call a club (both F3 and WHOOOPgang). You see, today was supposed to be a big day for one of our own. After a Friday evening prethang with Goldilocks, as we prepared our bodies (and thighs) to be sculpted into the most beautiful figures mankind could ever lay eyes on – thanks to YankeeJoe, Goldilocks, after a little peer pressure from YHC, agreed to VQ today. After a small but strong showing on Saturday, YankeeJoe had me convinced that all of the pax were out of town on the beach, pina-colada with tiny umbrella in hand. YHC was merely looking out for Goldilocks (locks, or is it lox?) by wanting a strong showing at his VQ. Locks agreed, even seeming excited to have a bit more time to prepare for the chaos he wishes to unleash upon us all this coming Thursday.

    YHC arrived with two minutes to spare (impressive, right?) to find a full showing of pax, coupons already unloaded, cheeks clenched, and mumble chatter strong. YHC was happy, and with a big smile, we began.

    Warmups were the usual not knowing how to count off anything in cadence and consisted of:
    – SSH
    – Imperial Walkers
    – Grass Grabbers (w/ the clap)
    – Open the Gates (bringing something new)

    Mumble chatter was strong and YHC was so distracted that he nearly just got right in to the beatdown. Thanks to Lil’ Cuz piping up, we actually stretched our arms (and we needed to):
    – Arm circles
    – Cherry pickers

    THANG ONE
    – Indian run w/ 3 caboose burpees
    DJ DOX was quick to be ready with ever faithful JBL, and YHC just about put him in the grave when the decision to run in silence was announced to the pax. Sometimes you just have to be alone with those inner demons and face them head on. The pace was set and kept for the run with the exception of the ever popular Cardinal-pace. We stopped midway back to the stage for a group circle of 30 Bonnie Blair’s so that we could get a bonus burn in the thighs.

    THANG TWO
    – Step Up’s & LBC’s w/ Coupons
    YHC’s current favorite tv character, Mr. Ted Lasso, has a way with people. His positivity is contagious, and many of his colleagues are often annoyed with his upbeat nature and attitude. I feel similar to Ted here. Some of the pax like to acknowledge my smile when running the Diddle Death March and other popular exercises. After my dear Ted got put down in GroupMe last night (not gonna name names *honk*), I was inspired with this routine.

    The song was “Good Day” by Nappy Roots – a real bop , frfr. We would do lbc’s with coupons on the verses and step up’s on the chorus for the duration of the song. This was sure to get the pax in a great mood this morning! We can make the decision to make it a good day from the moment we sit up in bed (lbc’s) and take our first steps of the day (step up’s).

    Mumble chatter and grunts were at a minimum, but Cuz did set the record for the most amount of bird poop anyone has laid in.

    THANG THREE
    – Merkin Mountain
    After Yankee Joe’s inspirational sharty beatdown on Saturday, YHC might have a new favorite exercise – the Merkin Mountain. YHC adapted this gem into what I’m now calling the Merkin Flatlands (which might just be tougher than the mountain – Dox I repent of saying this would be easier, I was wrong).

    We would begin with one merkin, take one step(?) in a bear crawl, two merkins, two steps in bear crawl , three merkins, three steps in bear crawl, etc until we reached 18 merkins (thanks to Cuz who remembered how many the mountain had, but im pretty sure he remembered because he got to the top right behind shari’ah and stomped the rest of us).

    This…proved to be difficult. After hearing Econoline’s thunderous grunts from afar, YHc had to pivot and reduce the mountain to 15 merkins. Those 51 pushups really would have ate our lunch.

    THANG FOUR
    – Dora
    – 100 overhead press w/ coupon
    – Partner runs a lap
    – 200 Bonnie Blair’s
    – Partner Murder Bunny’s to the second picnic table & back
    – 300 Squats
    – Partner does mountain climber’s til he tags out and swaps

    The pax plowed through the over head press and running portion, and YHC was downright inspired by Smooth making that coupon look like he was lifting a box of Kleenex above his head.

    Goose, to no surprise after May’s ISI challenge, set the pace with the Bonnie Blair’s. This is where things got challenging. Murder Bunnies are rightly named, and the pairing with Bonnie Blair’s should have had them named something even more sinister. YHC was grateful for Pope absolutely destroying the majority of our 200.

    We timed out during the 300 squats so that we could get 60sec of Mary in.

    Leg raises and flutter kicks took us out.

    *I remain ever grateful for men that continue to push one another in their fitness and their virtue. It is not lost on me that most beatdowns go by and no one complains, no one grumbles, no one brings the spirit down. This is one of the first things that made me stick around F3. I know it is a part of our culture here in F3 Thib, and we would make Ted proud.*

    “Futbol (F3) is life!” – Dani Rojas

    SYITG,
    Paradiddle

  • The Happiest Animal in the World – from Paradiddle

    After getting the initial nerves out of the system from his VQ, YHC was determined to have a bit more fun with his second Q. He was feeling free, and after seeing the hustle of the pax from May’s ISI challenge, he knew everyone could dig a bit deeper than they give themselves credit for.

    YHC has recently been inspired by the mustache’d man from Kansas who found himself coaching the struggling AFC Richmond UK football team. Now, let no one be fooled, YHC knows next to nothing about football (and US football), but Ted Lasso has been a source of inspiration and joy. The “Lasso Way” is a controversial way that Ted coaches the team by seeking to help the players grow both on and off the field. One immediately sees the growth of certain characters, such as Roy Kent and Jamie Tart, who both go from egotistical bad mama jama’s to virtuous men and best friends. It’s not frequent that you see truly good men on television. But Ted Lasso illuminates the goodness in each of these men as they truly are the iron that sharpens each other. This would be YHC’s inspiration for the beatdown.

    YHC woke early, left on time, and even managed to pick up a fun old sorta new guy, Goldlocks, for the beatdown. Arriving ten minutes early, YHC found Smooth awake from his post-work slumber, Enron fishing for hints on what the beatdown might be, and Wet Tap, who came in clutch with the perfect dry erase board needed for the exercises (YHC was going to resort to cardboard and a sharpie). After preparing the board, YHC did his own pre-thang (not by choice) to deliver the goods to the ED White track, which was under construction, but YHC might have completely missed that due to his extra excitement for the morning (the introvert was feeling extroverted this morning).

    Returning to the Pelch, YHC found the rest of the pax assembled, mumble chatter was strong, and debates of who was on “the Diddle List” filled the air. Warmup consisted of the usual SSH, some thing I can’t remember, arm circles, pickers, mtn climbers, and high knees. YHC still has a good bit of learning to do, as every exercise started with a different variation of “Exercise, ready, move, in cadence, exercise…start.” We’ll get the kinks worked out soon.

    The pax moseyed the stadium where one set of stadiums were part of an extended warmup. Goose and Goldilocks were excited for the fresh challenge, while YJ held down the back of the train, his chatter weighing him down (the complaining kept a grin on YHC’s face).

    THANG 1
    YHC gathered the pax on the track where he asked an important question – What is the happiest animal in the world? A goldfish. Why? Well, because they have a 10second memory. (All information comes purely from YHC watching Ted Lasso and not actual research) YHC then, in his own introverted super brief storytelling way, tried to explain to the pax how Roy helps Jamie to grow as a soccer player by consistency showing up at his house everyday at 4am for them to run together. The pax both knew and feared where this was going. YHC revealed the board of doom with thang 1 bulleted.

    AMRAP – 25min
    – 1/4 mile run (1 lap around the track)
    – 15 declined push ups
    – 10 Mountain Climbers (2 is 1)
    – 10 Groiner w/ Flying V
    – 10 Peter Parker’s
    – 10 V Up’s
    – 10 Bonnie Blair’s
    – 10 Step Up’s

    Due to the field being cleared of benches, YHC nixed the step up’s and everyone began. The pax only made it 1.5 times through the list before a real life Colossus XXL (Cars 2, people) made its way on to the track. YHC called an audible and with the help of Goose, relocated inside the Peltch. The pax grinded out what must have been 5-7 laps of the exercise (most of it while being serenaded by MC Hammer’s 2 Legit 2 Quit – DJ Dox must have really liked that one). 25 solid minutes of Zone 4 by every pax. The shirts were off, the sweat was pouring, Dox’s back had more grass stuck to it than a farm growing St. Aug. Smooth’s classic “next” moved us to our next activity.

    THANG 2
    Burpee Sprints
    To keep with tradition, burpee sprints are typically 10 burpees followed by sprinting the length of a football field (100 burps & 10 fields total). If only we had a football field… YHC picked the tree that resided behind the Dawson house for YJ’s Christmas Classic as the end of the field. The pax took off, and soon YHC realized, not for the sake of the pax, but for the sake of time, that a full set of burpee sprints wouldn’t be possible. Audible two was called and we counted down each set (10, 9, 8, etc til 1). A few chirps from Lil’ Cuz during the runs made YHC smile, but otherwise the pax were a silent bunch this morning for some reason. Oh no! What’s that? Is it a rustling in the distance?! No – it’s Yankee, on his six in pain. His back struck again (we really need to get Heath on speed dial – YHC is sorry for your back, and I really hope it gets better soon). The pax finished strong – at least five shirts off, and we finished as a team. The F3 motto “Leave no man behind, but leave no man where you find him” rang true on this hot Saturday morning.

    We moseyed back to the flag and for a 40 second round of Mary we each breathed independently. It was needed. Name-o-rama and Tana prayed us out (I think).

    What a morning. I’m constantly inspired by a group of men that don’t complain, always push harder, and who are growing stronger every beatdown. I know that just the last two months have pushed me harder and made me stronger than I have probably ever been. It is because of the accountability of showing up and walking next to this group of men who pray and play together. You each put in the work. You each push past the point of comfort for the betterment of yourselves and your families. We do this for more than ourselves. The pain is temporary – go one more.

    – Diddle

  • The Fat Boy Food Adventure – from Smooth Operator

    Participants: paradox, Enron, superfund, FNG (Michelin), Yankee Joe, Paradiddle, Goose, Smooth Operator

    I pulled up to the Lions Den at 0455 to find a FNG sitting in his truck. It looks like he had been there for quite some time and was ready to get his first F3 experience going.

    After that Enron pulled up and started giving us the synopsis of his Mexico City trip. He went on a guys trip and apparently ate at one of the best restaurants in the world, but for some reason either the restaurant or all of Mexico does not do Michelin stars. This brought us to another interesting topic, the Michelin star program is put on by the same people who sell tires. You learn something new everyday.

    At 0515 we had 7 eager adventurers rocking out to YHC’s musical fanny pack, and ready to overcome whatever craziness that YHC had planned for the PAX.

    We started with SSH and Goose gave the F3 disclaimer. After this we did windmills, arm circles cherry pickers, high knees, butt kicks, and mountain climbers. Somewhere in the middle of this Paradiddle snuck in probably saying something about a train or stomach issues or being busy making a list as reasons for his tardiness. Either way this dude is always ready to roll on minimal warm ups.

    The thang

    After this it was time to talk about our adventure. Two things you need to know about YHC. Even though I lost a little bit of weight YHC is still a certified fat boy. It has nothing to do with F3 which has done great things for me but it kind of hard to outwork the fork when you spend most days eating like crap. It’s something I got to work on and I will, but first I figured let’s have fun with it. Secondly through the last couple monthly challenges YHC has learn that I like to ruck and am not a big fan of long distance running which seems to be involved in the majority of our beatdowns. So I figured let’s combine these two things and let’s see what happens. This is how YHC came up with the Fat Boy Food Adventure.

    The Fat Boy Food Adventure basically goes like this, the PAX would carry our coupons in whatever manner possible to various locations visiting some of YHC’s favorite restaurants in the area. The only time we would need to put the coupons down is to perform some manner of exercise that would almost always be more taxing on the body than rucking. Our mode of transport would be an Indian ruck with the last person dropping off to do a couple man makers and hustled to the front of the line. We started with 5 man makers and eventually went down to 3 then 1 as our journey got more difficult and time started to become a factor.

    First things first, we started our journey at the flag with 25 man makers which seemed to be a big hit with the PAX. From here we headed up the reservoir and across the bridge to the parking lot of 5 guys burger joint all the while jamming out to some southern and classic rock complemented by a couple of Spotify ads.

    At 5 guys, we did 25 coupon curls and 25 Chuck Norris merkins and discussed there delicious burgers, cajun fries, and YHC’s personal favorite their bacon flavored milk shake. It was nice to put a-little sweat equity down as payment for the next time YHC goes there to shovel down some more greasy food. After this, we continued our journey across the slightly less deserted parking lot of Rouses to our next work out location. After everyone completed 5 man makers YHC dropped it down to 3 due to the doozy of a work out coming next.

    Our next stop was across the large parking lot of Rouses heading up LA 308 where a car was parked conveniently about 30 to 40 yards away. YHC decided this would be our stopping point for some parking lot suicides.
    Half the PAX would be doing suicides while the other half completed 25 coupon squats and then we switched.
    The suicides were pretty straight forward, touch the closest yellow line and head back to the curb hitting every line until you reached the car.

    After this we headed to another great restaurant Big Mikes BBQ. You could smell the meat smoking as we reached the parking lot for another exercise. The exercise was 25 world war 2 sit ups and some bear crawl suicides. Once we started doing sit-ups YHC realized that we would not be able to complete the entire exercise as planned so YHC started cutting it down to make it back to the flag for 0600. So YHC deferred the bear crawl till Part 2 and we continued our ruck.

    The Pax started rucking down the road passing in front of Anytime fitness, the dog park and hustled up the reservoir levee. We stopped near the bridge intersection and performed 15 coupon swing which may have disrupted a couple of curious reservoir walkers on accident.

    From here we headed to the Civic center HVAC system to do our next exercise. At the Back corner of the Civic center we did 15 tricep curls and headed back to the flag to complete our last leg of the ruck.

    Once at the flag with a couple minutes to spare the PAX completed 25 more world war 2 sit ups, 25 PAX approved star jumps, and Apollo onos AMRAP for a couple minutes as 0600 was approaching quickly.

    We finished up with COT and named our new FNG Michelin due to our pre beatdown conversations and the fact that he is a trained chef. Paradox passed the distinguished ANIMAL shirt to a well deserving Superfund. Enron prayed us out as a muffler-less vehicle decided to make its presence known.

    Thanks to all the PAX who came out and decided to embark on this adventure. Without y’all always pushing YHC to the limit, I would still be a sad clown sitting on the sideline.

    SYITG

    Smooth Operator

    Part 2 coming to the Lion’s Den soon

  • Daddy, I’m Prairie Doggin’ it! A Road Trip Story – from Yankee Joe

    Prologue:

    What are your favorite road trip movie moments?

    Was it when Clark Griswold packed the dead Grandma on top of the station wagon in National Lampoon’s Vacation?

    Or maybe you were inspired by Paul Costanzo’s quote in Road Trip when talking about the difficulty of taking shortcuts, “It’s supposed to be a challenge, that’s why they call it a shortcut. If it was easy it would just be the way.”

    Some of you might relate to Rat Race when John Lovitz’ daughter, needing the bathroom, eloquently exclaimed from the backseat, “Daddy, I’m prairie doggin’ it.”

    Of course, for my money, it’s hard to beat the moment when Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey) misses the turn for Colorado and instead ends up in Nebraska. When Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels) wakes up, he says, “I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.” Lloyd replies, “I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver’s full of shit, man.”

    That all said, the best road trip scene of all time is found in (one of many) John Hughes’ masterful works, “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.” Having missed his flight, Neal Page (Steve Martin) is desperate to get home. He meets Del Griffith (John Candy) who offers him a ride across country. While driving (and arguing), Del (Candy) claims that Neal (Martin) does things that annoy him. When Neal asks for an example, one of the greatest dialogues in cinematic history emerges:

    Del (John Candy): You play with your balls a lot.

    Neal (Steve Martin): I do NOT play with my balls.

    Del: (laughs) Larry Bird doesn’t do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!

    Neal: Are you trying to start a fight?

    Del: No. I’m simply stating a fact. That’s all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.

    Neal: You know what’d make me happy?

    Del: Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?

    Mic drop.

    ——————————-

    Background:

    YHC was fortunate enough to take his family on a road trip to Fairhope, AL last week. The sheer multitude of graces and blessings that come with such an opportunity does not escape me. That said, I think traveling with small children is another compelling piece of evidence that God does indeed have a wonderful and humbling sense of humor.

    YHC’s three children are beautiful, smart, kind…and absolutely horrendous travel companions and roommates. Holy crap, what is wrong with these people? But as any road trip veteran may tell you, it’s not the temper tantrums or the unbelievable lack of gratitude. It’s not even the fact that YHC’s 2.3 picked up a croquet mallet and started terrorizing everyone and beating their tables during dinner at the nice, peaceful hotel restaurant (this happened).

    The hardest part is their locking onto 4 or 5 songs and demanding them to be played on repeat for 120 hours. During that time, we listened to a lot of great music. We also listened to a lot of really, really awful music. I endured it like the IM3 that I aspire to be, but the resentment continued to build over days. As it wouldn’t be right (or in some cases, legal) to vent this frustration on my children, I instead gifted that frustration to the PAX.

    ——————————–

    The Beatdown Preamble:

    Four PAX showed on a nice, muggy Tuesday Tuff mernin’. Montana was already parked when YHC pulled up 10 minutes early. We’re uncertain if he showed up because of the shade YHC threw at him the night before. Goose rolled up, three-point turned like a boss, and backed up…cuz we gonna need those coupons. YHC then emptied the back of the minivan, cuz yeah, we gonna use bricks with those coupons. We were all awaiting Enron, full of energy and fluent in Spanish from a healthy boys’ trip to Mexico City. Alas, he could not show due to being a good father and taking care of a sick 2.0. Hope everyone feels better soon.

    The normal warm-ups, slightly extended to accommodate Paradiddle’s routine tardiness. At some point, somebody has got tell him that the beatdown starts at 5:15, not 5:23. While you’re at it, drop the same revelation on French Horn. It’s ok though. P-Diddy is coming all the way from Bourg. Wait, what you said? He’s not coming all the way from Bourg? Interesting. Regardless, he always brings some solid tank top energy much needed when Paradox is not in the house.

    ————————————

    The Thangggs:

    5 songs were offered. 3 of these could be used for psychological warfare. 2 of the songs are good, but have now been so played out in my house, I can never enjoy them again. In between each song, we engaged in some very active recovery.

    Song 1 – Hug a Turtle (:49) – 5:25 am

    by Parry Gripp – from his punk movement band, the Nerf Herders to creating false commercial jingles to writing children’s music, this guy has been pumping out content for over 30 years. And I hate him.
    – Hold Al gores, arms up with bricks, hug on “Hug a Turtle” with bricks

    Active Recovery (coupons and bricks):
    – 30 coupon LBCs; Mario punch with bricks to sidewalk; high knees/high arms back with bricks, 30 coupon LBCs

    —————————————-
    Song 2 – Geronimo (3:38) – 5:31 am

    by Sheppard – This one isn’t so bad until the 734th time you hear it.
    – Shoulder taps in duration; Merkins on “Geronimo” and “Bomb’s Away”

    Active Recovery (coupons):
    – Murder Bunnies to 3rd picnic table; 50 SSHs; Redrum bunnies back

    —————————————-
    Song 3 – It’s Raining Tacos (1:32) – 5:38 am

    by Parry Gripp – In honor of Taco Tuesday
    – Walk in place high knees; Burpee on “Taco”
    – Mosh jumps during refrains (yum, yum, yum); Hold Al Gore during slow reading of ingredients

    Active Recovery (coupons):
    – 25:coupon curls; 25 goblet squats; 25 overhead presses; 25 curls

    —————————————-
    Song 4 – Crazy People (2:28) – 5:45 am

    by Casting Crowns – seemed like it was written for F3
    – Six inch coupon leg hold; Refrain – Shoulder presses with coupon, legs down

    Active Recovery (coupons):
    – 15 thrusters, rifle carry to sidewalk, 15 overhead presses, farmer carry back, 15 thrusters

    —————————————-
    Song 5 – That’s Just My Baby Doge (1:02) – 5:53 am

    by Chicky Milky
    – High plank; Groiners on “That’s Just My Baby Doge.” (for me, this was the worst because the title of the song is the only lyric in the song, which means an F load of groiners)

    *At this point, Paradiddle offered the contact of a really good therapist. I don’t think he was referring to my back issues.

    Active Recovery (coupons and bricks):
    – Run/Nur Suicides with bricks (all picnic tables and sidewalk), track mosey

    2 minutes of LBCs IC

    —————————————
    COT and ‘Tana prayed us out.

    Kidding aside, even in the deep sleep deprivation of traveling with small children, I couldn’t help thinking about how much gratitude I instinctively have for the blessings in my life. To be clear, it has not always been that way. I know we often remark on the power of F3 and the camaraderie it provides. Self reflection and humility naturally follow. For me, it is important, if not crucial, to continue speaking these appreciations out loud. I’m showing up for God, my family, my job, and my community in ways that I never thought possible. Without reservation, that “showing up” is continuously fueled by each of you “showing up” for me.

    In a way, it’s kinda like hugging a turtle. Actually, it’s not like that at all. Paradiddle, what was that therapist’s number again?

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe