F3 New Orleans

Tag: Yankee Joe

  • 12 Glorious Days – from Goose

    It was a chilly morning, and YHC was still filled with the Christmas spirit on this sixth day of Christmas. There may have only been one Goose-a-laying, but there were 16 PAX who gathered late in the gloom, including a brave FNG and his 2.0.

    After the disclaimer, warmups were quiet as they typically are without Dox, though Enron bared the InVESTment early, giving hope to the thicker PAX that the zipper might be zippable after all. There was no short-changing on reps or exercises as YHC needed some serious motion-lotion after this PAST week’s Dox/YJ leg destruction combo.

    All grabbed coupons and Duke grabbed YJ’s Goose-Grinch head-on-a-stick and we headed to The Chimney, which is always much farther than it should be. The head was planted in the permafrost with much effort and YHC revealed the theme: the 12 Days of Christmas/Fitmas, to be performed in traditional F3 style. YHC tried to focus on the great gift of getting to really dig into Christmas for an entire two weeks, but most of the PAX just heard “ascending ladder of ridiculousness”.

    The routine went like this: YHC would reveal the exercise of each ascending day and write it on the back of the Goose-Grinch head (couldn’t find the marker board or anything that would stand up in an open field). Each new day’s exercise would then be added to the previous in ascending ladder style. This meant we started with Day 1, then did Day 2 and Day 1, all the way until Day 12 through Day 1 (or almost). Here’s the list of exercises:
    1 Bear crawl to the chimney (about 20 yards, sung by all the PAX in unison with gusto, or maybe just Duke and Jack-knife)
    2 Diamond Merkins
    3 Jump Squats
    4 WW3 Situps
    5 8-count Manmakers
    6 Freddys Mercurying (4-count)
    7 Triceps extending
    8 coupons curling
    9 Bonnies Blairing
    10 Peter Parkers Merkining
    11 J-Lo’s hipping
    12’s (a set of 12’s with burpees at the head and genuflections at the chimney; run there, nur back)

    Even before the 12’s were introduced, one of the PAX, who shall remain nameless, suggested that the 9th day should be changed to “9 legs kicking Goose’s crotch”, and though Duke tried to comply, the Bonnies continued Blairing and order was restored.

    There was one incident wherein YJ, the ever-vigilant form policeman/expert, concerned for the health and joint strain potential of the clydesdales on the far side of the group, came over and joined them to watch to see if there speed was a result of poor form. Turns out, it wasn’t, and he finished that set faster than he had originally thought possible because he was keeping up with the guys around him. Another proof of the strange psycho-physical dymamics at work in the mind of man and further confirmation of the massive value of F3. YJ quickly took up his former position after that set.

    YHC’s singing of the entire list after announcing each new day’s “gift” gave the PAX a solid break between sets, and so it wasn’t until the 12th Day was revealed that mutiny again threatened to prevail. A rousing speech about squeezing every last drop of Christmas wonder out the season up to the very last minute of the 12th day was heard by the PAX as, “Here’s something really stupid since you’re already worn out and hoping it was almost over.” Anger and scheming were brewing as YHC explained that the 12th day would be a set of 12’s including burpees and genuflections. Thankfully, concern for the health of the fading FNG diverted their attention long enough for YHC to shout “On your own, begin!” And, they did. Incredibly, they did. And they didn’t stop until YHC had to call it for time.

    Encouraging words were given by many to the FNG as we gathered our coupons and layers of winter clothing for the long mosey back to the flag. The last minute was filled with a high plank before count-off, name-off and FNG naming ceremony. Dean Roy (10) was named jack-knife due to his cache of pocket knives and other weapons, and Daryl Roy (38) was named Maneater despite the many interesting facts and unique traits that he shared. His first name, Daryl, is shared with Daryl Hall of Hall and Oates, the duo who sing “Maneater”, and, most importantly, he winced at the suggestion, which solidified his new identity.

    Enron inVESTed YJ with The InVESTment for his foray into more challenging waters, even if for one set, and even if it was in an effort to try to blow the whistle on someone sacrificing form for speed. Motivation is motivation, I guess.

    Announcements: New Year’s Day is Monday, and a beatdown at The Stage is the perfect way to start 2024 (at the regular time!). It’s also a great day to start Exodus 90 with a solid number of this awesome PAX. For those still on the fence, the first meeting is Friday, 5:30am at St. Thomas if you want to check it out.

    Lil’ Cuz prayed us out, and the PAX basked for a while in the glory of shared suffering well earned. Grateful for such an awesome, hard-working, strong-hearted crew!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The Samson – from Smooth Operator

    The Samson

    Attendance

    Goose

    Pope

    Yankee Jeaux

    Paradox

    Goldilox

    Wet Tap

    Americas Best

    Honey Suckle

    Safety Valve

    FNG (Tana)

    Lil Cuz

    Cardinal

    Piccadilly

    Smooth Operator

    YHC started planning this beatdown pretty much the same way I normally do. I read through the list of Saint’s feast day, I look at what happen throughout history on this day, and I read the daily mass reading for that particular day. Well, this time the 1st reading for 12/19 really stuck out to me. Judges Chapter 13 the origin story of Samson, is what YHC read. Samson happens to be the name of one of the babies YHC and his M lost a couple months ago. So, this story hit me like a ton of bricks, and I quickly read the rest of the story. You see originally, I thought about taking it easy on the PAX since I had been out of pocket for a couple of weeks, but as soon as I read this, YHC relinquished control for what was going to happen.

    YHC was allowed to switch over from day shift to night shift, on the morning of this Tuesday Tough. I even slept in a little and got to the Stage around 0430 to unload a couple tires and mauls. As YHC sat anxiously awaiting the PAX. 0505 came around and YHC was nervous, but the PAX came through for me. We were 14 strong for a brisk 40-degree Tuesday Tough.

    Warmarama

    SSH

    Imperial Walkers

    Windmills

    Arm Circles

    Cherry Pickers

    Butt Kicks

    High Knees

    A few things from the story I found inspiration from were:

    – He was consecrated a Nazirite from birth by an angel. A Nazirite is someone who will not eat or drink from the vines or strong drink, will not cut his hair, and will not touch a dead body.

    – Samson killed a lion with his bare hands.

    – He killed 30 Philistines over a riddle he gambled on.

    – He killed 1000 Philistines with the jawbone of a donkey.

    – After he was captured and had his eyes gouged out by the Philistines he pulled down a Philistine temple and killed himself and a whole lot of Philistines that were there mocking him.

    – Samson had superhuman strength when the Spirit of the Lord came upon him and brought him to victory over the Philistines.

    With those things in mind lets jump back to the workout.

    Thang 1

    The Samson

    After picking up the speaker, our coupons, and a pair of rims from Wet Tap, the Pax moseyed down to the old coupon corner for this morning’s insanity. Due to Samson killing 1030 Philistines I figured this would be a good round number of reps for the PAX as a collective to shoot for. All the PAX lined up on the first crack and awaited instruction. 1030 was divided by the total number of PAX in attendance and 77 total reps was the amount each PAX would be required to do to move to the next exercise. The PAX whom finished first could either help the slower PAX get to their number or wait for the PAX to finish and do pickle pounders since this was the sin that lead to Samson’s demise. 2 lucky PAX would be allowed to beat on a tire with a maul with all their reps counting to our total 1030. This seemed to be lost in translation from YHC and PAX and the tires became additional coupons for the likes of Wet Tap and Pope who performed admirably this morning. The PAX seemed to be mildly annoyed by the number of reps but were willing to get after it, until YHC mentioned that the first exercise was Lion Killers (Thruster) due to Samson killing a lion with his bare hands. You could have sworn that I kicked Yankee Jeaux’s cup of coffee over and took Tana’s pickle ball paddle. This response quickly caused YHC to say go and that worked pretty well to calm the storm. YHC put on some slower than I remembered music to get us through the beatdown. YHC crossed 40 when the American Beast hit 77 and begged me to let him do some of my reps. YHC let the exercise go for a couple minutes longer and allowed a couple other guys to cross the 77 rep threshold before I pulled the plug to get to part 2 of the exercise.

    Part 2 of the exercise is or mode of transport to the next street crack. Our mode of transport was moving like and inch worm with a J Lo in the middle of it. YHC calls these Delilah’s. Basically you extend your brick out as far as you can, drop your elbows on your block, perform a J Lo, and then get your feet to the edge of your block and repeat until you go past the second asphalted line in the concrete. This seemed to be less troublesome to the PAX than part one. After this came Part 3.

    Part 3 was about remembering where we came from. This means we would be running suicides all the way back to our starting spot. The thoroughbreds really shined on this part. After part 3 we would be ready for exercise 2 part 1. Note part 2 and 3 are repeated for each exercise.

    On the start of exercise 2 everyone seemed to accept the fact that we would be trying to take on the impossible… Or so I thought. YHC announced the next exercise being 77 WW3 sit ups and the ever quiet always chill Safety Valve looked at me like I had pink eye. After hearing his concern and doing a couple reps I quickly realized by golly he was right. After checking on the leader’s rep count YHC dropped the number of reps down to 25 and 25 WW2 sit-ups because he is a gracious Q. After this we performed Part 2 and Part 3 in the same manner as before.

    Exercise 3 happened to be YHC’s favorite exercise and would tie nicely into the theme of this beatdown. Man makers with a donkey kick was on the agenda, but due to time restrictions YHC cut out the donkey kicks. The donkey kicks were in there because Samson, filled with the Spirit of the Lord, killed 1000 Philistines with a jawbone of a donkey. Once YHC announced the exercise Boss Man Goose had a safety briefing on how to do a correct man maker, which gave YHC a chance to catch some wind since it seemed to not want to stay in the lunges. After this, YHC experienced some tremendous feats, such as Pope and Wet Tap knocking out the reps with tires instead of coupons and Cardinal and Dilly pushing their bodies to the limit and giving 100% effort. All in all, a couple people reached 77 and we quickly moved into Part 2. Part 3 was cut out due to time, so we wasted no time in jumping into exercise 4.

    Exercise 4 was a spur of the moment decision, and it was a good one. Coupon swings were called out and we did coupon swings till 0600. After this we hustled back to the Stage to count off.

    Once at the Stage we counted off. Lil Cuz announced he was feeling very Samsonish which tells YHC that a Part 2 will be needed for this saga. During COT we talked about RunCajunRun coming up and Saturday, Yankee Joe and Tana are having rival Christmas Q’s. For more information contact Tana, and Yankee. After this Pope prayed us out. This beatdown for me was all about putting your trust in God to give you the strength to get through what seems to be impossible. Just like Samson, we need to turn to God and trust his plan. Either good or bad outcome, God will get us through.

    Thanks for coming along with me fellas

    SYITG,

    Smooth Operator

  • 12/3 International Cheetah day – from Smooth Operator

    12/3 work out
    Today is international Cheetah day

    Lil cuz
    Goose
    Hand Granade
    Wet tap
    Cardinal
    Pope
    Safety valve
    Yankee jeaux

    YHC Arrived running later than normal from a night shift with only 15 minutes of prep time due to a busy night at work. Prep time equaled 5 minutes of googling a theme for today, 5 minutes exicon searching for any work out that had to do with animals, 5 minutes of thinking about old beatdown exercises. After this I roughly wrote down some stuff between busting pipe flanges loose and steaming out equipment.
    Warmarama

    We did normal warm up exercises.

    After warmarama, we partnered up and chose a ball (baseball, tennis ball, football) then headed to the financial planner parking lot.
    Thang 1
    Wheel of Animal Walk

    This one was taken off from of exicon and was the only thing that had any kind of connection to international cheetah day.the only thing YHC did was substitute Crab walks for lunge walks. It went like this
    Frog Hop across, do 10 Merkins. Bear Crawl across, do 10 Merkins. Duck Walk across, do 10 Merkins. Lunge walk across, do 10 Merkins

    Thang 2
    Relay race

    After that we played the relay race game chiding between a baseball, football, and tennis ball. The rules are you can only advance the ball by throwing it to your partner. The race took place around rich man’s loop and back to financial office parking lot. The penalty for a dropped pass was 5 burpees. After game wet tap and hand grenade the winners of the race did 20 star jumps while the rest of us losers did 30 monkey humpers.

    Thang 3
    Bear crawl suicides

    Upon completion of that we went to financial parking lot and did bear crawl suicides to each yellow line in parking lot. The kicker is partner 2 will doing a-rods while partner 1 is bear crawling to the next line and back.

    Thang 4

    After this YHC made a game time decision and we headed to the hwy 308 side walk to do a game called You Honk We Burpee as per Lil Cuz. Basically the game is every time a car passes do a burpee. Due to slow than normal traffic, YHC decided with the last 6 minutes we would do 6 minutes of Mary. The order went like this. Goose called out Dr. W, Yankee called out dolphin hops in honor of Dr. Dox. Lil Cuz called out penguins. Wet Tap called out tempo leg raises. Around this time Lil Cuz had voiced a great idea which involved temp squats. YHC stopped Mary 2 minutes short and we did tempo squats on Wet Tap’s count until 0600.

    After the 2 minutes of tempo squats we did Cot where Safety Valve passed the animal shirt to Hand Grenade (our local down ranger who kicked butt today) and prayed out. Special intention for Lil Cuz’s M and new 2.0. Thanks for dealing with my 15 minutes of planning.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator

  • Exicon Top Cover – from Honeysuckle

    YHQ arrived early to test out the “mintron” speaker’s ability to broadcast from the Lion to the trees and was disappointed. Fortunately, several PAX arrived at that moment at the same time. YJ continues to impress with his parking skills. Significant amounts of calf stretching ensued. Valve arrived just in time for warmarama.

    Warmarama:
    SSH, Windmills, Willie Mays Hayes, Imperial Walkers, Toy Soldiers, High Knees, Butt Kickers

    Thang 1:
    As this beatdown was coming together, the theme seemed to be YHC making slight modifications to some other beatdown or Thang that someone else did. So the theme today would be covers. A lot of time, the band doing the cover tries to get as close to the original as possible. But sometimes they make it their own, and this latter approach would guide our exercises today.

    First, since we do 6 minutes of Mary quite a bit, this was changed to be 15 minutes of Joseph. The Joseph in this case is Joseph Pilates, who put a lot of focus into the brain-muscle connection. For the exercises we’re used to, this is no big deal. But some movements, especially fine movements or new movements, we aren’t used to them and they can be a challenge.

    America’s Best previously mentioned that the “Hundred” was in the exicon, so YHC scrubbed the exicon to find other “official” F3 exercises that were similar to pilates exercises. Here is YHC’s mapping, which is the set of exercises done today:

    Exicon -> Pilates

    Hundred -> Hundred. On your six, pump arms up and down 100 times. Feet on the ground, abs engaged.

    WWI Situps -> Roll up

    Alphabet -> Leg circles. The first 13 letters done on the right leg, unless you are left handed. The second 13 letters done on the other leg. It was good to brush up on the alphabet also.

    Boat/Canoe -> Double leg stretch

    Bay city scissors -> Scissors (w/o side scissor)

    Criss-cross -> Freddy Mercurys

    Superman -> Superman

    Ab stretch -> Bottom of pickle pounder

    Cooler -> Side lying leg raises (w/o knee to chest). These were extra rough.

    ? -> Figure 4 stretch

    At this point it was noted by Yankee Joe that we really don’t do much stretching. Goose’s opinion was that stretching was supposed to be done on your own time, and that was that.

    Thang 2:
    YHC still regrets missing the Iron PAX challenge done at the track this year. So to sort of replicate it, the PAX were to do a Route 66 around the civic center. Exercises were to be done at the front and rear of the building. Starting at the front, one burpee, one squat, and one merkin were to be performed, then run to the back and do two of each exercise. Then run around to the front and do 3 of each exercise, and so on, until at the last stop 11 of each exercise are completed.

    We often wonder, how many [fill in exercise] did we do? With route 66, there are multiple ways to get this number.

    1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10+11 = 66

    Or

    (1+11) + (2+10) + (3+9) + (4+8) + (5+7) + 6 =
    12+12+12+12+12+6
    = 60 +6 = 66

    Or

    Sum of 1 to N is N*(N+1)/2, so for N=11 we have 11*12/2 = 11*6 = 66.

    Or

    Just make an inference as to why the exercise is named Route 66.

    During this exercise, we listened to several covers and also an original song that possibly has a more famous cover.

    Rolling Stones covering Route 66 (orig: Nat King Cole)

    Rascall Flatts covering Life is a Highway (orig: Tom Cochrane. Nod to Smooth’s Disney beatdown)

    Lenny Kravitz covering American Woman (orig: Guess Who)

    Bruce Springsteen singing Blinded By the Light (covered by Manfred Mann. Wrapped up like a douche?)

    Van Halen covering You Really Got Me (orig: the Kinks)

    Thang 3
    Just 3-4 minutes left, which was the perfect amount of time for some VO2 max work. Enron several months ago had a sequence that worked on this, so we were going to burn it out today. The exicon word is “Ciabatta” (hence the bread), known to everyone else as Tabata, which is a specific type of high intensity interval training (HIIT) in which you work for 20 seconds and rest for only 10 seconds. It provides most of the fitness benefits of cardio, without having to spend all that time doing cardio. According to google, the only negative of Tabata is that it isn’t much fun.

    PAX would sprint back and forth between the lion and the trees during the work period, and do whatever they felt like during the 10 seconds rest. Since minitron would not be loud enough for the PAX to hear the start/stop from everywhere on the course, YHC brought a whistle as a backup and this is what was used to demarcate start and stop. The PAX completed let’s call it 5 rounds of work before it was time to recover.

    As Goose and Pope had to leave early this morning, we counted 6 PAX. Yankee Joe prayed us out.

    YHC appreciates the PAX diving deep into the exicon today and dealing with YHC’s strange cadences at times. But we made it through. And YJ was not only able to pull into his parking spot, he was also able to pull out of his parking spot. No reverse required. No other PAX who drove today could say the same.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • “If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything” – from America’s Best

    Disclaimer: Those who have admitted to not seeing “Back to the Future” may some may experience significant shade during this backblast. Reader discretion advised.

    YHC loves time travel. Whether it melts your brain (Primer), or rots your brain (Hot Tub Time Machine), YHC will watch it. And in most of these tropes, there are plenty of numbers, pseudoscience, and doing something, going back (Jack) and doing it again– much like an F3 beatdown.
    And so today, just after the 68th anniversary of the day Doc Brown hit his head on his toilet and devised the Flux Capacitor, the PAX joined the ranks of Bill and Ted, and time travelled.
    The pioneer, at least in YHC’s mind, was Marty McFly, so this beatdown was themed on his first foray into the past.
    We start in present day (1985), will travel to 1955, and then hopefully, back to the present again. As everyone (except Enron) knows, we need two things in order to travel: 88 MPH, and 1.21 Gigawatts.

    Thang 1: Time travel from 1985 to 1955
    M= 0.88 miles
    P= 88 Peter Parkers
    H= 88 Hillbilly Squats

    This was knocked out as we ran/nar, answering random time travel/BTTF trivia (including BTTF music trivia). Montana impressed with his knowledge of the future (2015).
    Upon returning to the flag area, the PAX quickly knocked out a round of 21s (curls) which represented the necessary 1.21 gigawatts of power. And like that, we were in 1955.

    Thang 2: Time travel from 1955 back to 1985
    This is obviously going to be more difficult, as plutonium cannot be purchased at every corner store in 1955.
    88 MPH this time:
    88 Merkins
    88 Parker-Peters
    88 Hydraulic Squats

    This proved to be more time consuming than YHC had planned, so we aborted early and moved to the 1.21 gigawatt portion of 1955. What other way would one achieve 1.21? Blackjack.
    Start on the sideline between picnic tables. Perform 20 coupon curls – run to other tables, perform 1 V-up. Nur back and do 20 coupon curls. Run back for 2 V-ups. Repeat until you do 1 CC and 20 v-ups, running between the sidelines. Always adds up to 21.
    (“ Black Jack” officially calls for Merkins and LBCs, but more Merkins seemed too extreme*, and LBCs seemed to easy. And… I’ll say it… we don’t do enough curls).

    The required effort was great, but the motivation to return to the present was even greater—don’t forget, in 1955 your mother is trying to get in your pants (YHC recently re-watched the film, and this theme is much more disturbing than remembered).

    In the end, ironically, we ran out of time.

    We headed back to the flag for the final trivia question:
    At precisely what time was the clock tower struck by lighting? (and not by a tornado, Enron)
    YHC reminded everyone, that just as in the prior song trivia section, where no answer resulted in 10 merkins, and incorrect answers resulted in 4, this time an incorrect answer (or no answer) will result in 10 merkins, a correct answer, only 4.

    And so we all did 10 Merkins. The correct answer is right there. Right… there.

    Thanks for playing, everyone.

    To be continued . . .

    – Goodbye Goose Get-together Nov 12th at the Enron property
    (undercard event at AB’s house the day before, weather permitting)

    COT and Dox prayed us out.

    …Coda (the end is the beginning is the end):
    YHC ran out of time, but we got it right. We finally got it right. The first 17 times YHC ran this beatdown, tragedy befell the PAX. Once, blinded by poor parking protocol rage, Dox smashed the Prius with such force that it ripped the space-time continuum. *Another time, YHC had programmed merkins for Blackjack, and Enron’s shoulders finally exploded. And then there was the iteration where Tree Root showed up. Luckily, YHC had upgraded his Turo rental DeLorean with the Mr. Fusion attachment, and was able to keep going back and doing it over until we got it (mostly) right.

    “So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
    …

  • Three Years of F3 Thibodaux – from Goose

    Three years may not seem that long, but we’ve stacked up some serious growth, some incredible memories, and an incomparable brotherhood. YHC is not only celebrating three unexpectedly amazing years of F3 Thibodaux, but also a personal four year manniversary. So, this was a special morning. It’s been quite a journey.

    After the typical warmups with 11 cold men, YHC decided to run the crew through some of the most important lessons we’ve learned through over these short/long years while giving them a chance to bring back to the surface some of the highlghts.

    Lesson 1: We almost always slow down, take breaks, and give up not because we can’t actually do any more, but because we don’t think we deserve to endure difficulty. We think we deserve comfort, and though some difficulty is exhilarating, we deserve to avoid the really hard stuff. But, we know better. We don’t get up before 5 and come to literally be punished in unknown ways by a random member of the gang becauae we think we deserve comfort. We know we’re made for more, so we keep showing up; we keep letting the Q push us farther than we’d ever push ourselves, and we hate to miss.
    Thang: Lt. Dan’s (1 to 2 ratio of squats to lunge walk steps, adding one squat and two steps each time) from the sidewalk around the building to the fence around the AC unit in the back. That served as plenty of discomfort to get us all to that point and past it. The chatter only lasted a couple of minutes, and then it got pretty quiet, which was saying a lot for this crew. After picking up the six we moseyed to the pickleball courts.

    Lesson 2: Our form suffers because we feel sorry for ourselves. Good form keeps our joints safe and makes us stronger. Our pride and self-pity puts our joints in danger in an effort to save our muscles, and though me might finish faster, we don’t get stronger. Humility acknowledges where we are and works from there, pushing all the way through, slowly if need be, and maybe not finishing first; and this is how we get stronger. And, just like in life, if we look to preserve ourselves, all the connecting tissue/people suffer. We only grow and take care of the people connected to us if we stay strong, focused, and humble.
    By this point, the PAX was done with the preaching and just wanted to know what pain lie ahead.
    Thang: bear crawl suicides. Bear crawl across one court to the end of the double lines and back, then to the beginning of the next court and back, then to the end of the next court and back. Every time at the baseline was three burpees (with solid form), and every time at the far line was five HR merkins (can’t cheat on that form).

    At this point, Tana reminded YHC that we had some memories to to share (which is probably why YHC thought he went first), so a few PAX were called and shared some doozies. This helped distract considerably from the pain, and it went by relatively quickly. Moseyed to the basketball court.

    Lesson 3: God knows our true limits, and He expands them, providing strength beyond what grit and determination could ever muster on its own. When YHC has been able to trust in and depend upon His help, the pain and difficulty don’t go away, but I can keep pushing much further than I ever expected. He doesn’t take away difficulty, He give us the strength to power through it if we choose to accept it instead of trying to escape it or measure what we’ve got left in the tank by our own figuring. And, for those willing to believe it, YHC shared that all YHC’s beatdowns are actually God’s ideas, and YHC is more of a co-pilot, putting the pieces together that He gives me. So, yes, they’re hard, but they’re amazing sources of growth, both physically and mentally. And, YHC knows that they will actually be doable, no matter how tough they look on paper.
    Thang: Let God decide–we rolled a die, and if it came up 1-3, it meant 15 LBC’s. If it came up 4-6, it meant sprinting half-court and back and then full-court and back. We rolled exactly 15 times, and though YHC didn’t count exactly, it seemed to be almost half and half. We were given breaks when we needed breaks and challenged just beyond the point of wanting to give up, to self-preserve. God is good. And, Honseysuckle and Pope are in great shape.

    With two minutes left, we moseyed back to the flag for the remainder of the memories to be aired. Most, interestingly, had to to do with first beatdowns and how they were both horrific and fulfilling some deep desire we didn’t know we had. So, we kept coming back, even if it was after a few months and/or a hernia. Tana went last because YHC forgot about him (I guess he blended in behind Honeysuckle or Valve), and promised to flim his top five and post them on the GroupMe. This sounded amazing and gave YHC the idea to ask everyone to film their top memories and post them from then till Saturday morning. It’s been unbelievably successful, an incredible way to celebrate the indescribable gift these last three years have been.

    And, YHC will keep posting at every beatdown for as long as God keeps us here. And, when it’s time to go, YHC trusts that God knows what He’s doing, though it’s hard to picture how we’ll push past that difficulty. But, I guess we’ll have the strength we need for it when we get there. Till then, we’ll keep making memories, pushing through limits, and suffering together with this incredible band of brothers. Here’s to F3 Thibodaux and all that is yet to come!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Men, Saints and Jurpees – from Paradox

    -Can a man change over time?

    -Can a beatdown plan pivot on the spot when the need is great?

    -Has YHC listened to the song “When the Saints go marching in” a single time in his life ?

    -Was man created to Jurp alone?

    These were the questions 9 High Impact Men had to ponder on a crisp cool (dare I say chilly) Tuesday Tuff at the stage.
    On Saturday at the Peltch we searched for the monster within and YHC thought it only appropriate on All Hallows Eve that today we search for the Saints within. (Plus I used up most of my primo Haloween material) YHC also had the privilege of leading the beatdown on the last day of Jurptober so there was no pitch left but the surgically repaired fastball. YHC had a loosely knit plan to go heavy burpees/merkin. But you know how it goes , sometimes God sees your plan thinks it’s cute and suggests ManMakers instead.

    Duke!! you are not the patron saint of baked beans
    Roll the footage!

    Warmup

    Props to the 3 pax who came in costume! Goose was terrifying as Dredd, Pope looked valiant as Pat Tillman and YJ was spot on as “that guy from college that wore a t-shirt in cold weather to impress the ladies”. Groundhog Ronnie was sporting long sleeves which tells us it was somewhere between 30-50 degrees F. (If that man puts on pants you will need Vaseline to keep your eyelids unfrozen ). We did all the usuals with some MCs to get the blood dispersed evenly.

    Ominous mosey to the Coupon Depot

    I had intended this little warm up song to be standard issue IW/burpees format. But when I saw the way Wet Tap was looking at those coupons…I hope my children look at their spouses with that much love one day….that’s when the audibles began. Who am I to rob a man of his God given right to lift heavy concrete?

    Song
    “When the Saints go Marchin in “
    Curls on song
    2 Man Makers on Saint
    (24 man makers, laughable amount of curls)
    YHC knew this would be pretty humorous as soon as we got started. Listened to this one on the way to the beatdown and I could have sworn there were only 4-5 “saints “ in there. Pesky memory.

    Thang 1

    The Road to Sainthood

    YHC has recently been fascinated by the process of Sainthood. The scrutiny , the interviews, and the thorough search of a life for holiness. It can reveal so much about how we can strive for this in our own lives and the variety of grace God bestows on the saints when they depend on him.

    There would be 4 stops

    *Indian run there with drop off 3 burpees , it felt right.

    25 Big Boys (servant of God)
    25 v ups (Venerable)
    25 burpees (Blessed )
    25 man makers (Saint)

    Again this was originally going to be merkins and burpees at the end but the call of the man makers won out.

    So now we have an idea of the process of sainthood. Another amazing aspect is the wide variety of vocations God calls us to. As CS Lewis said “how monotonously alike are all the tyrants and conquerors, how gloriously different are the saints. “
    So we would try our hand at a little Patron Saint Trivia.

    Correct – 7 burpees
    Incorrect – 7 burpees, bearcrawl , 7 merkins

    Patrons and Saints below :

    PS of retreats/retreatant-St Ignatius
    PS of Academics- St Thomas Aquinas
    PS of doctors – St Luke
    PS of Eyes- St Lucy
    PS of Finance- St Matthew
    PS of Musicians- St Cecilia
    PS of Engineers- St Patrick
    PS of Internet- St Isidore of Seville
    PS of Parish Priest – St John Vianney
    PS of Military- St Michael

    The men crushed these and racked up 70 burpees in a flash. And YHC was shocked to look down and see 2 minutes left on the clock. Another audible

    Only one way to finish the beatdown portion of Jurptober …

    AMRAP man makers.
    It was glorious , pretty sure Wet Tap cried tears of joy.

    Amazing effort here by all.

    Back to the flag for numbering naming and such.

    Announcement
    **F3 Thib MAnniversary Thursday at the peltch

    **Goose Farewell Party Nov 12

    COT and Goose prayed us out

    Mega shoutout to all the hard core Jurpers out there. I’m sure YJ and Goose will be covering this more eloquently but there was some serious iron sharpening going on this month.
    Glad to see dat Dawg alive and well with the Thib pax.

    Thank you for the privilege to lead today men.

    Epilogue

    The following is a journal excerpt from Vatican records of the Cardinal Cause of Saints in the year 2623 during the investigation of the last documented Miracle of Blessed Yankee Jeaxsiphine.

    It’s recorded from the personal writings of a Franciscan friar, Fr Paradox the 19th. He was tasked with finding and interpreting ancient USBs from the year 2023 , the year it was reported that the Blessed Jeaux had organized a men’s workout challenge called Jurptober…

    Journal Entry -Fr Pdox
    Nov 2, 2623:

    Today I completed my life’s work.
    After years of searching the deep jungle bayous of ancient Thibodaux my team discovered the USB from a hut in the Rienzi Temple district. After careful extraction of the data we reviewed , my team was baffled. It contained data accumulation that should take 20 men 2 years to compile but there was only one with admin privileges in 30 days!
    How…how could it be? One man! This much data , it was so neatly organized, this much dedication to iron sharpening ?! My eyes went blurry as I realized I was looking at the final miracle of Blessed Jeaux. I wondered what had driven a man to this level of commitment. then I read a tiny note accompanying the usb. It was one of Blessed Jeauxs original entries dated Oct 31, 2023.

    “Today Dox was nice to me, maybe …maybe, we can all change.”

    I want to be in that number …when the Saints go marching in…

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Country For Old Men – from Honeysuckle

    Jason Aldean was the flame. Boot Scootin Goosie was the fuse. It was only a matter of time until the country beatdown would occur. And friend-o, that day was today.
    On a dew-filled morning at the stage, fourteen men gathered eventually and the fun began.

    Warmarama
    20 Side straddle hops (YHC would have made it 40 if Tana had been there on time)
    Windmills
    Arm circles forward and back’ard
    No cherry pickers
    Willie Mays Hayes
    High Knees
    Butt Kicks

    As all required Jurps no longer need to take place prior to doing anything else, yet realizing that leaving a full four Jurps for the PAX to have to do OYO after a beatdown is a little too much, we split the difference and did two Jurps as part of the beatdown. As to not waste time, the country music started with “I think I’ll just stay here and jurp” by Merle Haggard. Piccadilly jumped in after the first round started but so smoothly it was as though he just appeared out of thin air. Despite the excessively long instrumental outro, a second song was needed so that the second jurp could be completed by the PAX so that was [this is taking a very long] “Tulsa Time” by Don Williams.
    Then, a coupon mosey to get the hard stuff.

    The first thang
    The next part was a small homage to what played no small part in putting country music into pop culture (and eventually into a cult with popeye), which was the movie Urban Cowboy. (That movie also put mechanical bulls into every honky tonk bar.) Both songs are by Jerry Lee, with the first being “Cherokee Fiddle.” We did V-ups during the song, but during the chorus (“When he smelled the smoke and the cinders…”), we grabbed our own cinders and did manmakers.

    The second song was “Looking for love in all the wrong places.” YHC looked at points total per Jurptoberfest exercise and found the two exercises with the fewest points. These at that time were big boy situps and curls, so by doing these we would be looking for points in all the wrong places. So similar to the previous song, BBS’s during the song and curls during the chorus. Enron had been preparing for this moment his whole life and really shone during those curls. As did Cuz.

    YHC after the fact proposed the equivalent of a “standard deduction” for points earned during the first thang. This is because there were no sheets to write down the number of each exercise the PAX did, so many PAX did not really know how many points they earned. Inadvertently, in doing so, YHC perhaps initiated a bout of points inflation that a future hawkish Q will have to clean up. The overall jurptober impact remains to be seen. Analysts are saying that the biggest impact is likely to be in the manmaker category as they represent the largest number of points per exercise.

    The second thang
    The second thang was going to take longer and finish out the workout. The song “Redneck Girl” has always been a favorite, next to “Queen of my double wide trailer”. But in “Redneck Girl”, the Bellamy Brothers highlight all of the desirable qualities of these types of women. One of these is that a redneck girl has her name on the back of her belt. In honor of that line, we did a conveyor belt exercise.

    There were 5 stations where these five activities were done, with bear crawls in between.
    Station 1: V-ups (20)
    Station 2: Merkins (20)
    Station 3: Bonnie Blairs (20, I think we all know by now it’s 2:1)
    Station 4: Big Boy Situps (20)
    Station 5: Burpees (10)

    Four stations were populated with PAX leaving one open station for at least a little freedom of movement for one group. All PAX in a group were supposed to stay together and couldn’t go to the next station until the group at that station left. But I’m sure Yankee Joe could spend multiple lectures covering case studies highlighting what PAX are “supposed to do” versus what they actually do. And I just completed an internship.

    Now, if you liked the loitering and waiting in Saturday’s beatdown, you would LOVE the conveyor belt. There was ample opportunity to trash talk teams taking too long, and those opportunities were seized. However, the waiting was sort of a feature because otherwise there were no real breaks. Just like in a honky tonk bar, there were even PAX getting up on the tables doing their thing. In the end, everyone made it through two rounds, in most/all cases also finishing a third set of the exercise where the respective PAX began.

    During this time, we got to additionally hear “John Deere Green” by Joe Diffie, “Hard Workin’ Man” by Brooks and Dunn, and most of “L. A. Freeway” by Jerry Jeff Walker. The soundtrack was well received overall, though one PAX couldn’t take it and left. And I expect to continue to not hear country music during my next eye exam.

    We circled up, counted off, named off, did announcements, intentions, and Pope prayed us out. Dox pictured us out.

    After the coupon return and general cleanup, around 10 PAX stayed and finished up the Jurps. Gotta love and admire the dedication of this group. Smooth, showing next level determination and grit, grinded out his last Jurp with everyone just sort of standing around him and Goose holding the shovel.

    Much appreciation to the PAX for being hard workin’ men today and even feeling comfortable enough to share that they enjoy listening to country music only if chipmunks are singing it. It is great to celebrate the recent birthdays, and while some of these songs remind us that the world and our lives keep changing as we get older, many fundamental things don’t change, and for myself at least, F3 continues to provide a way to improve physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual strength to stay in the fight now and hopefully for many years to come.

  • Looked Better on Paper – from Goose

    YHC felt pretty proud of the continued creativity necessary to keep jurps and points rolling after almost three full weeks of beatdowns. And this morning was a particular point of pride because YHC was going to introduce the PAX to a classic routine that was a huge part of YHC’s F3 foundation while also racking up an obscene amount of points. At least, that was the plan.
    Warmup brought a welcomed razzing from YJ (the now-usual absence of he and Dox have made for some unusually quiet warmups). Then, we grabbed coupons out of the truck and made a ring around Enron (at the second sidewalk). He declined to be the center of attention, saying something about his tempo squat form, and we commenced three rounds of jurps. But, since YHC was Q-ing, the whole group had to nurse a rotator cuff injury, so we replaced the 10 groiners with 10 Bonnie Blairs (2:1). It was tough, and it definitely took longer than 10 minutes; a good bit longer.
    YHC took the opportunity to fit in a quarter-mile lap around the building while the anchors finsihed the last round to Pat Benatar’s “We Belong” cranking out of the impeccable sounds of the Oontz. And, we needed to keep half the PAX from building up points while they waited for the rest to finish–especially the ones not on YHC’s team.
    The time had come to share the foundational gift of the Classic Deck of Death. With the dawn of the newer F3 cards with a different exercise on each, the classic routine has fallen deep into the dark middle range of the Exicon. Well, not today! Today each suit represented an exercise, and it would remain that way for the duration–so, only four exercises, and the number on the card drawn would be the number of reps. But, the face cards are bad news–they mean high reps and a harder version of the exercise of their suit. The suits were assigned as follows:

    Hearts: Merkins; Face cards: 20 shoulder-tap merkins
    Clubs: V-ups; Face cards: 20 X-factors (lying spread eagle, hand goes up to meet opposite foot, like a half v-up)
    Spades: Bonnie Blairs; Face cards: 20 Goosies
    Diamonds: Curls (but 2x the rep numbers); Face cards: 40 curls
    All Aces: lap around the building

    You can imagine why YHC would have figured on racking up points, especially since YHC remembers getting almost through an entire deck during beatdowns on the Northshore. But, they didn’t do three rounds of Bonnie Blair Jurpees and a quarter-mile lap before starting. And, somehow it took an average of 30 seconds for each PAX to turn over a card, stare at it like it they were having to decipher some sort of ancient language, read it out to the group, and then half the PAX ask for him repeat it loudly because they couldn’t hear it over Chicago’s “25 or 6 to 4”. So, we only got through about a third of the deck and one other Ace, which brought the total up to a measly half mile.
    Total numbers of reps were:
    -3 jurps
    -71 Merkins
    -59 Bonnie Blairs
    -55 V-ups (2:1 x-factors counted as 1)
    -78 Curls
    And, for those who ran a couple more laps after COT, 1 mile.

    YHC appreciated the PAX’s willingness to push through, especially the Bonnies and Goosies, despite the supposed promise of some fun games of chance. (Instead, they got “Just turn over the next card and we’ll do one of four things.”) Honestly, it’s more interesting when you know you’re gonna get through the whole deck, so the torturous cards are comin’…it’s only a matter of time before your luck runs out.

    Announcements, Animal shirt went to the well-deserving Hypotenuse, whose quiet perseverance is admirable, though YHC looks forward to when he starts slinging witty mud at YJ like the rest of us. America’s Best prayed us out.
    Lastly, it was awesome as YHC was driving out to see more than one of the men accompanying the still recovering Smooth around the civic center as he refused to not complete his mile. Proud to be a part of such an awesome crew!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • “But Wait, There’s More!” by America’s Best – from Yankee Joe

    There was once a time, before all of this handheld, on-demand streaming gluten-free wifi entertainment, a time when men were men, and Boyz II Men, and ABC, BBD (East Coast Family). In these grueling times, if one were to lie sleepless at night, the only solace was whatever happened to be on the TV… which was almost always the Infomercial. A late night beacon through the (brain) fog, the Infomercial beckons: “Give me your clumsy, your stupid, your flummoxed masses…”

    Smooth Operator was already on site as YHC pulled up this morning; this dude never fails to impress with his punctuality, commitment, and demeanor after working 12 hours. Also, in spite of being here first, he doesn’t steal anyone else’s parking spot. The brief parking spot controversy this morning was broken by a shadowy figure emerging from the gloom, cloaked both in darkness and a red hoodie. This was the signal- it was time to begin.

    Warmarama:
    SSH
    Windmills
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Now, as the chatter rose, a confidential informant (we’ll just call him “Elliot”) murmurs an aside to YHC: when the PAX ups the chatter, it’s time to drop the hammer.

    And so began Warmarama++(AKA ”The Jurp Store Called and They’re Running out of You”):
    23 Tempo squats
    18 or so mtn climbers
    20 tempo merkins
    15 mtn climbers
    Then the rest of the Jurp on your own. (Somewhere around this time Hypotenuse appears, and YHC could go off on a tangent about that here… but we all know tangents never reference Hypotenuses.)

    With the first Jurp completed, it was time to mosey.

    The Thang:
    While actually planning a Thang of completely different proportions for this morning, YHC began to notice that certain Jurpaple exercises were actually contained within other more complicated maneuvers.
    And so, much like the hapless characters in the first half of most “how many times has this happened to you” infomercials, we would go about getting our Jurp points the hard way.

    Let me explain. No, there is too much… let me sum up:

    First, the Jurps. The Jurpee is the OG Granddaddy Longlegs of overdoing it. To this point, there was some sort of objection that “you actually get more points from Jurping than by just doing Burpees,” but luckily, YHC had the mental toughness to block that kind of positivity out. And the PAX completed the buy-in.

    21s (Curls): the bottom half of a curl 7 times, the top half of a curl 7 times, then 7 full curls. Lots of extraneous work for 7 curls. There was a bit of debate over whether ½ curl + ½ curl =1 curl. Ultimately, YHC used his executive “boat captain” power to declare only full curls are full curls. And thus, while a total of 56 additive curls were done, only 28 were scored. And there was much groaning (but not as much as there likely was after that hypotenuse joke).

    NUR one lap

    Breakdancer Merkins: “How many times has this happened to you? You’re trying to Merkin, then one arm shoots up in the air, while the opposite leg flails out in front of you?”
    Dox feigned ignorance, then took it to another level, breakdancing with Merkins in-between. YHC is pretty sure there was even a headspin in there. (Which may be why he blacked out during his performance and has no memory of it).

    Dying Cockroaches: Almost a V-up? Maybe half a V-up, and then another half? Also confusing because no two people do this exercise the same way. In fact, YHC (very awkwardly) demonstrated it, then performed it in a totally different fashion. Either way, you get zero points for whatever bastard child of a V-up this is.

    NUR! Another lap

    WWIII Situps: If you don’t hate these yet, you haven’t done enough of them. Please let YHC know.

    Goosies: Like the old saying goes: “If you wanna get some Bonnie Blair, sometimes you gotta cop a Squat for free.”

    —-End black-and-white portion of the infomercial—

    Thang 1.5 —Welcome to Oz— (the Colorized portion of the infomercial)

    Now it is time to do things the “Easy Way.” YHC offered a brief respite to recount a story… years ago, a friend, frustrated at the supermarket, was cursing at some avocados when suddenly she was approached by a strange woman. “Oh deary, calm yourself…. don’t you know about the ‘Easy Way’?”
    This was one of those seemingly innocuous statements that also sounds a lot like an invitation to join a cult. Other examples include “Come, Sit at the Welcome Table,” and “Free Men’s Workout.”

    For the remainder of the Thang, we will do only what is necessary to garner Jurp points (AKA the Easy Way)

    Now Run! Like normal human persons!

    Burpees! (some far-off mumbling again about total Burpee vs Jurpee efficiency, probably)
    Coupon Curls! YHC has to give credit to Enron for inspiring all the curls in this beatdown… he has done them in such large quantities YHC figured they might be a welcome break. YHC was wrong.

    RUN Again!

    Merkins! Regular ones, where you get points for exactly what you are doing.
    V-ups! Same!

    And, I’m sorry we are out of time.

    Animal was bestowed upon Yankee Joe.

    Dox prayed us out.

    Afterword: “High Impact Men” only begins to describe the members of this PAX. Hope you guys are as motivated by YHC as YHC is by you all. Honored to be a part of the PAX, and so thankful for those who said to YHC that fateful day, “Come, Sit at the Welcome Table”

    SYITG,
    AB