F3 New Orleans

Tag: Yankee Joe

  • NOW that’s what I call Dem Commitments vol 2 – from Paradox

    YHC launched several cafeteria EH campaigns the day after a fruitful July 4 beatdown and had quite a few nibbles working well into the evening until most were derailed by a glorious late night firework show. The two FNGs that did show however, were both whales in their own right. One, a youthful man’s man of only 4 years earthly experience but clearly an old soul. He came on retreat to sleep and do man stuff and he was already full up on rest. The second is more of the Moby Dick FNG. Aged and scarred, he’s dodged EH harpoons for a decade and our own Goose serves as his personal Ahab with so many name producing stories that the list could produce its own beatdown. In the vast sea of emotional headlocks , AnyfisherQ that prepares to land FnGs of this magnitude must also consult the veterans of old for a retreat beatdown battle plan. Ole Ahab was ready and waiting. And that’s how YHC found himself on the HeartRidge lake dam at 5:27a with 2 FNGs (1 legacy plus the aforementioned white whale) 3 regulars (including the newly minted Egon) , a preloaded Goose DC beatdown (if Goose puts “dem” in a title you should be afraid) , a few psalms in his heart , anddddd a list of names for these potential FNGs.

    Duke !!
    Its retreat beatdown round 2
    Roll the footage!

    Warmup
    Standard issue in a deep gloom
    keeping cadence with crickets, bullfrogs and whiporwills.
    We got right to dat action boss.

    The below is an adaptation of Goose’s “Dem Commitments” beatdown circa March ‘23.

    Verbal, written and retinal scanner consent were obtained for copyright use.

    1. ) Individual Prayer
    Indian Run from dam to the big hill loop with drop off jumps squats

    This to represent finding the time during the day to get quiet and converse with God or just maybe to just do some squats.

    2.) Couples Prayer
    Lazy Dora – 10 reps with partner in static hold then flip flop till 100
    100 merkins (plank)
    100 Squats (al gore)
    100 flutter kicks (6 inches)

    3. ) Family prayer
    Ring of Fire taking turn with 3 burpees and IW while Johnny Cash warned us about love being a burning thing.

    4. ) Couples Dialogue
    “11’s “
    Starts with 10 Apollo Onos and 1 leg raise with “The Hill” in between. As Goose alluded this is where the real work in DC begins and it was the same for this beatdown.
    This is where the record scratched and we really got to see what the soon to be named HeMan calls “doing man stuff”.
    The hill was relentless but no match for the tenacity of our multiple surgical jointed FNG. His push through the hill and blasting through his comfort zone will be burned into my memory for a really long time.

    *editors note
    -Thibodaux Rouses reports that after this beatdown “YJ taking to random strangers in the grocery line about his poor ole back ” incidents are now down 78%

    Ya love to see it

    A well earned light mosey back to the dam for COT, prayers of gratitude and some very important naming.

    When I first met our youngest FNG he showed me a fisher price work bench along side a pillow and blanket then explained it was there so he could wake up and do the man stuff. These pure alpha characteristics earned him the moniker of HeMan. Father Royal Deuce approved and it was so.

    Our elder FNG, the aforementioned scarred whale, had a epic but non traditional naming ceremony as YHC knew Goose, who has a lifetime worth of stories with this gentleman, needed to have atleast a swing at a fine surname. So we unveiled the list pre set by his old friend :

    Chainsaw Massacre
    Lead Baloon
    Wiley Coyote
    And finally …
    ..Puzzle Face

    I can’t quite explain the level of snickering that took place during these listings ( fng included ) but when the smoke cleared Puzzle Face was the clear winner and we knew that at that same moment somewhere in La, Goose was doing the Robert Redford meme nod.

    Men, thanks for the effort this week during a jam packed retreat schedule. You are a reminder to YHC that no hill is to high , no barrier to strong when we allow God to supply our source of strength

    It’s a joy to lead ya

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Philosofreedom – from Paradox

    Let me make a close association list for you and see if you can guess this beatodown theme :

    Plato
    Moses
    Justin Beiber
    Aristotle
    Dean Summerwind
    Lil Jon
    Tchaikovsky

    Ringing any freedom bells??

    If your thinking they all had fire flames freestyles (f3?) during their career you ARE right buttt YHCs focus on this July 4th/Retreat beatdown was great philosophical questions that led men to a search for freedom and the above men had some real beard scratchers to consider.

    Let’s dive in

    Duke! Stop chasing Schrodingers cat and Roll the beautiful bean footage!!

    Warmup

    YHC moseyed to the lake dam of the Heart Ridge retreat center in Sunset SC in a gloom so thick and dark YHC had to scrap half the beatdown and reorganize it around a bic he bout at Bucees . No cones , no JBL , no headband, I didn’t even know what AB had for supper the night before!! …YHC felt naked and afraid. Just when the new place “scaries” had me ready to turn back I stumbled upon a wild chackbayan pax and an even wilder Rienzi scholar. As if that wasn’t enough dawg for the fight , we watched a sauntering silhouette of an FNG approach the dam and slide right into to see what the F3 fuss was about.
    Disclaimer and a traditional Goosian warmup followed.

    Thang 1

    “ The measure of a man is what he does with power “ – Plato

    Lake Indian run to the docks while we listened to some select patriotic hits and thought about great leaders who used their power for greater good.

    At the dock YHC revealed the pax would be aiding in yet another F3 bucket list item .
    Ever since the graceful tunes of Dean Summerwind flowed through YHCs ears I knew one day there would be a beatdown with a real lake …one we could park by. It just needed one more element to be special and the day before YHC had realized he was standing on a true Carolina Dry Dock…magic.

    Plato can keep his cave, ole Dean has a lake for us.

    Plank during song:
    Dean Summerwind ‘s
    “Parked Out By the Lake”

    Lake -Carolina dry docks
    Parked – shoulder tap
    Santa Fe – plank Jack

    All the pax struggled to remember which trigger was which and we mostly did all 3 while Dean did the philosophical heavy lifting.

    Mosey to gym Lot for
    THANG 2

    Here we consider what we deep questions we would battle for in our own lives while listening to the 1812 overture.

    The mini Dora was constructed with actions from the Israelite battle vs the Amaleks as our FNG had beautifully described to us the day prior. Originally, YhC planned to arm the pax with a scythe and have us mow a field by hand but was informed by retreat staff that would be “heavily frowned upon”. So just as Dr Evil had to settle for ill tempered sea bass instead of sharks with freaking lazers , YHC settled for a big hill mini Dora.

    There was also a general consensus that Moses had jacked quads and delts we could acquire through repetition.

    Dora 1-2-3
    Transport Nur up hill (** this was a capital H hill boys)
    50 no cheat merkins
    100 jump Squats
    150 air raises

    During our mowing down of the Amaleks we considered what we would turn up for which led to the next logical question by the early 2000 AD philosopher Lil Jonicus :
    “Turn Down for What”
    IW on song and Burpees on TD4W.

    On the way back we listened to an even more modern philosopher , Sir Justin Beibs , lead us in a meditative mosey asking “What do you mean? “
    Yankee Jeaux was moved to lacrimation but blamed a heavy South Carolina pollen count.

    At the Dam Finale we were directed toward ole Glory as our final philosopher Lee Greenwood tasks us to reflect upon Gods blessings to the US of A while we cycled through:

    7 Bonnie Blair’s
    4 burpees
    17 bBSU
    76 LBCs

    Till time

    The naming of Egon was a lengthy affair covering philosophy and seminary but we finally settled into an area that produces many F3 monikers: Early Adolescence. He shared that his worst nickname was as a nerdy looking bespectacled basketball player and his upperclassmen called him Egon. YHC considered that it lined up with our ghosts busting exorcism discussions this week and Egon it was.

    COT and YJ prayed us out

    Always a joy to lead fellas

    SYITG
    Dox

  • American History F – from America’s Best

    HC arrived this morning to find a Den with no way in, as our lot had been barricaded. What a way to start a manniversary.
    First they came for our lion, and we did not speak out. Then they came for our parking lot, and we did not speak out. Not sure what comes next, but I think the general idea is to just ignore it.

    Warmarama began one minute late, mainly due to the PAX needing to inspect buckets of concrete and to check if pull-ups could be done from tent poles.

    SSH
    Windmills
    Imperial Walkers
    Willie Mays Hayes
    Mountain Climbers
    Arm circles of varying speeds
    Cherry Pickers

    F3 changes a man, in big ways and in small ways. But also in medium ways. For example, I will give you an example, through this illustration, vis-à-vis, case-in-point: I don’t listen to music in the same way anymore— now every time I hear a song, it’s immediately “could this be used in a beatdown?” So while the skeleton of today’s beatdown would be trivia, it’s disgusting sinew and adipose and entrails would be the best found songs of the year. And I guess the skin would be, like, the locations represented by our stops. Or something. Let’s just get on with it, ok?

    Moseying to the Aldi parking lot, we were met again with the barricades. While most of the PAX went around, Paradox apparently sensed the beatdown was heading to Germany, and leapt the wall like an East German gazelle in a terrible metaphor.

    The First Question was read, and the PAX contemplated the answer while squatting and Bobby Hurley-ing to An Arrow in the Wall by Death Cab For Cutie. The song was quickly and relentlessly abused as an obscure, ancient dirge from YHC’s past. (In reality, it was actually released less than a year ago, and while it was never “nominated for an Emmy” it has been met with critical success. But I’ll leave that alone; whatever is the opposite of “preaching to the choir” seems to be what I am doing here…)

    The correct answer to Q1 was (a very controversial) “omelette.” Nobody guessed correctly (likely another alternate-reality-induced schism), so we did (8×5) 40 Carolina Dry Docks (a hint to the next location)

    Next stop, next question. Maneater identified the place as NC. Then the PAX held 6” and Wheezied with every “gonna.” While the song began as a DMB classic, we were quickly Rick-Rolled for 4 minutes.
    The answer to question #2 was “cropdust” and Popeye and Paradox easily sniffed this one out. Yankee Jeaux was very proud of his guess, and legend has it he is still insisting that YHC also coined the term “douchebag.”
    The PAX was penalized with only (6×5) 30 gas pumpers.

    3rd stop around the world was Hawaii. The PAX nailed the location, then did an exercise known (by YHC at least) as the Makhtar N’J-Rod while Eric Clapton narrated.
    YHC’s favorite 90s band (who is still making music Today) was correctly answered only by Yankee Jeaux. Popeye’s guess of “Puddle of Mudd” may be the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me.
    (7×5) 35 BBS was the penalty

    Location #4 was Ohio. And in spite of the smell from the dumpsters, it was not identified— our penalty would be doubled.
    We monkey-humped to “Let me be your Hog.” Burpees on some trigger words, but none of them occurred during the full 17 seconds of this song.
    The urinal of choice is “lowest/shortest” which 5 PAX answered correctly.
    Popeye’s guess of “fullest” wins Very Best Wrong Answer.
    (3x5x2(penalty)) = 30 BBS

    Next stop was VA- again an easy one. And it was time to listen to that other favorite band, whilst pondering the next question and doing a burpee for each “ever” or “never.” Here’s some trivia for you: “ever” and “never” are heard only 13 times in Oasis’ “Live Forever.” However, we were again quickly rolled into Rick. And that dude says “never” like 40 times.
    The F-4, the greatest fighter-bomber ever built, was correctly identified only by Maneater.
    35 Burpees were the penalty.

    The final song was played, and the PAX were instructed to right-foot lunge on each “pizza” and left-foot lunge on each “taco.” And what to do in-between? Turns out, it doesn’t matter. “It’s the Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.”

    A weary (from all the “Sweatin’ to the Weirdies”) and downtrodden (from all the not-knowing) PAX assembled back at the flag, still pondering the answer to question #6.
    Several horrible guesses were defended. The answer?
    Will be revealed in a future beatdown.

    Until then, look for Death Cab for Cuties’ upcoming single “A Very Controversial Omelette”

    COT and Maneater prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Summer Swolestice – from Paradox

    Summer Swolstice

    Inspiration for a beatdown can come from almost anywhere. The blank slate , fresh canvas you are handed as a Q will always give YHC that “kid at Christmas” feeling. Lose Yourself in some nice Cinema and the the next day you are leading the men in the Inception kick song in a mosey around a municipal building at 520am. Have another pax critique your form? No bother, you can answer with a 45 minute beatdown lecture on Apollo and his OhYes. Earl Dibbles fan? YEEEE YEEE brother! Say no more, that’s a whole hour specialty beatdown!
    Tributes , birthdays , mountain climbing franchises, feast days, holidays, schisms, sandwiches vendettas…all great reasons for a free men’s workout and today YHC wanted to add one more entry to our Pax ever expanding portfolio: the exercise research beatdown. June 20th being the summer solstice and this month being Alzheimer’s awareness month YHC has been reading more about the cutting edge prevention of this state and of neuro cognitive decline, a field that has exploded in just the last decade. YHC saw a recent study placing exercise (mental and physical) very highly on the list of modifiable risk factors. It went further, breaking down the type and duration of cardio and by the time YHC had finished reading the abstract the following beatdown was in the slow cooker just waiting on lab mice…ahemmm…pax.

    Duke! Put the WD40 on the rowing chains ! The pax need some cardio.

    YHC moseyed in with 30 seconds till kickoff after a light setup sesh. AB was found loitering in the midst of the circle and was pulled into a full on haboob he didn’t much care for. Some commented it was Darude of him to decline advances but he must be more of a slow dance kinda guy, I’ll try Peter Gabriel next time.
    Anyhouser, We got right into the usuals and then Sandstormed our way to the Cones of Dunshire.

    According to this metanalysis the following actions are optimal for maintaining our cognitive abilities and stemming decline. (Some liberties were taken so please don’t send this to JAMA , they have enough on their plate working on Valves call schedule complaints )

    Needed:

    -10 minute bursts of cardio
    -Short Term/Long Term Memory work with rapid alternation between the two
    -Execution of a task , especially with spatial awareness
    -learning a new skill
    -Social relationships

    So obviously the challenge here is “could this all be done simultaneously in 45 minutes ?”

    Here’s YHCs swing at it .

    10 station Circuit

    1. Med Ball Slam (no one has time for therapy )
    2. WW3 Sit-ups (cuz they suck)
    3. OHP (make free throws challenging)
    4. Goblet Squats (that suck thing again)
    5. Row (learn something new)
    6. Coupon Curls (for Ronnie)
    7. Pickle #1 with increasing drop burpees (build social relationships)
    8. Pickle #2 (what Goose happens after 5 guys)
    9. Apollo Ohnos (cus YJ loves them )
    10. THE TIMER : dribble run with various free throws (spatial execution)

    While traversing the circuit the lab participants would need to compile a working short term memory bank of seemingly random words while accessing there long term memory to see if there was a common thread. Musical clues and foils would be playing for motivation, rhythmic coordination, and philosophical discussion.

    R1 BEST PICTURE

    Moonlight – Parasite- Crash-Chicago-Gladiatior-Ghandi-Patton-Marty- Rebecca -Spotlight

    R2 Bond Villains

    Trevelyan- Scaramanga- elektra king -le chiffre- Hugo Drax – Dr. Julius No – Mr White – Raoul Silva- Elliot Carver – Mr Big

    R3 NOBEL Prize

    Linus Pauling, MLK, Mother Theresea , Al Gore, Red Cross, Watson and Crick , Al Einstein

    Lab Observations:
    – the OHP and Curls had devastating effecting on FT percentage (that’s what we will blame today)
    – YHC loved listening to the proposed common threads and watch the “AHA” moments as the puzzles clicked. I saw the exact moment during Duran Duran that Goose realized they were all bond villains!
    – ManEater was upset Bloodsport wasn’t in the Best Pic nods and he has his own best picture list, I can’t wait for that beatdown.
    – HS can drain a free throw on command but also wanted everyone in zone 4 cardio so he missed some just to sharpen iron,

    Gear packed in the party wagon and we moseyed back to launch pad.

    Wet Tap graced AB with The Fire Within (TFW), actually the same phrase the GI doc wrote to describe his colonoscopy.

    Invitations to keep those individuals and their families suffering with cognitive decline in your prayers and to offer our own sufferings for Christ to use in their relief.

    COT and Popeye prayed us out

    Post Doc Analysis

    Like any good study YHC had to leave some variables unknown to the subjects so YHC did not inform the Pax that the Lions den court had been converted into a linear functional MRI scanner for observation of brain waves and translation to pax thoughts during the exercise. Here are the results:

    Wet Tap: I’m feeling really extra swole in this tank top, can I award myself the fire within?

    YJ: We’re no strangers to love

    Goose: This may be the dumbest thing dox has ever done, wait is that the row machine! …ok second dumbest and I’ll give him a half point for Lecrae.

    Lil Cuz: Gladiator, Spotlight, Crash..are these all ways to describe my beard ?

    YJ: You know the rules and so do I

    Enron: Gosh I hope he’s got some Cash Money Millionaires on that playlist.

    Americas Best: I should really look for a free men’s workout with harder trivia

    YJ : Never gonna give you up

    Popeye : *smirk intensifies

    ManEater: where is “Dumb and Dumber”, “Die Hard” , and “Point Break”????
    This is clearly not best picture material.

    YJ: Never gonna let you down

    Honeysuckle: This is a great warmup. Hope I hit Zone 2 today.

    YJ : Never gonna run around and desert you !

    A pleasure to lead men
    Thanks for letting me Roll with you.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Be a Daddy, Not a Diddy – from America’s Best

    The beatdown usually starts with a small idea. YHC wanted to emphasize form today. The dictum “Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast” came to mind.
    YHC learned of this phrase from “cool dad” Phil Dunphy. Apparently the phrase subsequently became so prolific I believe the military even adopted it.
    Pre-Father’s Day miracle #1: Didn’t even realize I was creating a (Pre-)Father’s Day Beatdown.
    It’s probably known by now that YHC has an unhealthy compulsion to inject some kind of musical trivia into every beatdown. For this one, each song would have a commonality which the PAX would have to discern at the end of the beatdown.

    But first: Standard-issue Warmarama, with one addition
    SSH
    Windmills
    Imperial Walkers
    Mountain Climbers
    Arm Circles
    Willie Mays Hayes
    Top of the Merkin to Ya (not Blades of Steel) – programmed exclusively to help rehab YHC’s shoulder

    Quick mosey around The Center Formerly Known as The Lion’s Den while we heard “Intro” by The XX – only a 2 minute jam, so some sprinting was necessary.

    Prelude to The Thang:
    Originally planned as a Dora, YHC somehow found “All About the Benjamins” on a page I had saved from the Exicon, so I changed it from Dora to AATB… but I had already formed my playlist, and while Puff Daddy fits into the Father’s Day theme, “All About the Benjamins” would definitely not fit the music theme (and we won’t mention P-Diddy’s recent transgressions). I almost changed the entire musical theme around this song, but ultimately decided to keep the list as planned…

    Pre-Father’s Day Miracle #2: The song I had already chosen as the first song (originally for the Dora), was relatively unknown to me … and it contains the lyric “All About The Benjamins”

    On to the Thang: All About the Benjamins setup as 25 SLOW 6-count Curls, 25 lunge walks, then 25 Arnold Schwartzenager (8-count) Squats. Bear crawl back, rinse and repeat until we have done 100 of each.
    As Yankee Jeaux noted, the bear crawls seemed considerably easier after the super-tempo squats. That extra stretch actually does something. The importance of proper form, boys. Make a note of it.
    Not surprisingly, this part of the beatdown took a good amount of time. Our entertainment was not so much the music itself, but Paradox’s guesses on the music theme, as well as the artists. “Songs ODs smoked weed to in college?” stood out to me. Also of note, Dox may have heard the names Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins somehow associated with the 80s and 90s. Or maybe he is just trying to hurt Goose.

    We finished that up with just enough time for the gamified mosey around The CFKATLD. Except that it wasn’t a mosey, but a sprint with 5 Arnold Merkins at each stop, unless someone could identify the common thread amongst the songs. The catch: first, you have to identify the song/artist to unlock the your chance to guess the theme. We stopped at the first cone while YHC played a clip of Intro by the XX… Popeye correctly ID’d the band, but at that point did not have a guess for the theme. So we sprinted to the next cone and did the merkins while we heard a clip of The End of the Contender by Everything Everything… no one knew this one, so we sprinted/merkined again. This continued through songs by Django Django, JR JR, and Man Man. Somewhere in there Enron voiced the answer to the theme, but no one had yet unlocked any band name in order to make that guess, so on we suffered (YHC may have put the more obscure bands at the beginning by design). Finally Goose saved us, identifying Mr. Mister, and completing the second answer. We got to mosey the rest of the way while skipping past Talk Talk, Duran Duran, and the Ting Tings. Thankfully we did not have to listen to the Go-Gos.
    T-Claps to Enron for remembering to grab the cones.

    We arrived back at the flags for a quick Mary. YHC led us through some Wheezy Jeffersons before passing the baton to Goose, who apparently wanted to showcase YHC’s lack of coordination by ordering Dr. W’s. And there was much flailing.

    COT

    Always an honor and pleasure to lead.

    SYITG,
    America’s Best

    AB Sees: The Hand of God in everything. Even in Everything Everything.
    I mentioned some “miracles” in this blast, which is probably hyperbole, but I think it underlines the fact that God’s hand is truly in everything we experience. So from big miracles (like YHC finally becoming a Father a few years ago) to everyday “God Winks,” it’s important to acknowledge even the smallest things as gifts from God.

  • The Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything – from Goose

    It’s 42. That’s why this is such an important year, or maybe just an important beatdown. The year was 1982, an important year, maybe not for music, or movies, or culture in general, but certainly for YHC.

    Warmup consisted of the usuals–YHC had no energy for 42 (or 82) of anything, especially given the packed schedule of events to be revealed.

    Top song on June 11, 1982? “Ebony and Ivory” by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, the song that fixed the problem of racism in the United States (and Great Britain). While Bose’ Sr. cranked the synth on this one, PAX switched back and forth from Peter Parkers to Parker Peters every time they said the titular “Ebony and Ivory”. It seemed much longer than it was, and not (just) because it’s a boring song.

    What was the top song of the year? “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor, it’s success fueled by Rocky and every school with a tiger mascot. But, we wouldn’t be doing anything with this one…

    What culturally significant blockbuster movie was released on June 11, 1982? That’s right, it was E.T. And, YHC asked the PAX: in typical Spielberg fashion, a child yells what extremely crude epithet that is completely inappropriate for his age? Both AB and White Meat, in perfect harmony, immediately and loudly answered (correctly): “penis breath!” YHC quickly assured the PAX that this wouldn’t be the theme of our next exercise to the visible (and audible) relief of the group. Jokes were made about YHC taking this opportunity to finally reveal the real nature of F3, ha ha! But, that won’t come for another year or so.

    YHC cued up the E.T. “Flying” theme song, and we flew on our bicycles for the duration: 41 Freddy Mercurys (1:1) and 11 jump squats, on repeat AMRAP.

    Next YHC suggested gloves and led the PAX (surprise, surprise) to the beginning of the new street where there used to be a bumper. YHC explained the cultural and personal significance of the dawn of the Super Mario/Ninteno age in 1985, and then explained that we’d be taking advantage of the well-spaced green pipes along this road. At every green pipe (cluster), which were about 15-20 yards apart, we’d switch between Mario skips (punch those bricks!) and bear crawls, effectively going “up” and “down” the pipes.

    Once we arrived at the end of the street (about 8 pipes long), YHC shared the centrality of basketball, or at least basketball practice for both middle school and high school years. So, just like my Cuban high school coach, Elmo (that was his real name), YHC instructed the PAX in red faced fashion to “Get on the line! We gonna…………(unintelligible syllables)……..JUST GET ON THE LINE!” It was suicide time. (Thank you, Popeye.) From that line, we did suicides to up to the fifth pipe before moseying back to the flag for a couple more thangs. Honeysuckle (and America’s Best) put on a clinic with these, making you wonder if your excuses for slowing down were really grounded in reality, or if they’ve really been doing that much extra running on the side.

    Back at the flag, YHC gathered Bose’ and phone to set up for the next thang and found what looked to be a long handle/stick with a hook at the end. It served well as a prop to keep the speaker and phone from sitting too deep in the wet grass, and inadvertently as a major source of intimidating mystery for the PAX (“what could he possibly have planned for a stick with a hook on it? Is this finally where he reveals the true nature of F3?) Ha! No, not for another year or so.

    YHC’s early 20’s were defined by four years in seminary and a bunch of summers working at a summer camp in the mountains of North Carolina, where Pope and half of his siblings are now. It cannot be overstated how much influence these experiences had on forming YHC into the man he is today. So, we cued up “Church Clap” by KB, Lecrae and “Still Wandering’ by Bronze Radio Return to honor these two, and the PAX started doing stationary 21’s with genuflections (for seminary) and mountain climbers (for camp). But, after doing 20 followed by 19 genuflections, it became clear that this would take way too much time, and we lose a few PAX, so YHC changed it to 11’s. This was plenty.

    After this, we had just enough time to honor the period that followed to the current day–marriage and family. YHC thought I had experience great things, hard things, and had accomplished much…until marriage, and kids. Being a husband and father has brought me to my limitations and blown past them, forcing me to grow so I can give more of me to the people who need it and deserve it. We’ve been married for almost 17 years and have had 10 kids, and the reaction I most hear is “How do you do that?” The answer is, “By not asking that question.” Nobody has what it takes to be the husband and father their wife and children need them to be–it has to be ripped out of us one day, one minute at a time. So, just like with F3, especially with a lot of burpees on the line, we all know that if you ask the question, “How am I gonna do this?”, you’ve already set yourself up to fizzle out early. You just have to choose to start and then not to give yourself an excuse to stop or count the cost or analyze how much you have left in the tank. Your tank will grow with you if you force it to!

    So, 17 years of marriage plus 10 kids = 27 burpees. Don’t ask questions, just start and do one more burpee until you get to 27. And that’s what these guys did, and they keep doing it every time the Q lays out the plan, every time the alarm clock goes off, and every time their body says, “How are you gonna keep going? Is this sensible?” No, but it’s so awesome, and I’m so grateful that you men decided to choose the awesome over the easy this morning and every time you come out!

    COT and Dox prayed us out. Incredible work today, brothers, and it was a great gift to have so many of you out there.

    SYITG,
    Goose, 42

  • Shake it Up a Bit – from Goose

    After four or five Saturdays in a row including a game of some sort, YHC thought it prudent to shake things up a bit and bring back the 60 minutes of pain. Kinda like a weekday, but longer, and at a location with tons of options.

    After YHC drug Yankee Jeaux along for a warmup lap, a warmup of the usuals commenced with 10 fantastic PAX. Once completed, we grabbed gear, and YHC started to lead a mosey toward the track, which brought about much angst amongst the natives, especially those who feared the inevitable after having been absent for a couple of months. YJ reminded YHC that this was the two-year anniversary of his initial return after hiatus, which happened to be YHC’s 40th birthday beatdown, and where YJ happened to puke multiple times. The similarities to today were already astounding–and the stage was set for some potential pukage.

    We moseyed on the track up even with the 50 yard line where YHC explained that we’d be getting back to the ground after enjoying multiple weeks of games (which YHC has loved, btw). It’s been great, but the grinding season was upon us. The first grind would be a Dora, but with three men and four exercises. The PAX broke into 3-man teams, and each team set a man on each side of the track (at the 50, halfway point on the straight 100). On one side, the exercises were 200 merkins followed by 200 Morroccan Night Clubs, and on the other, they were 200 lunges (1:1) followed by 200 heels to heaven. The third man would run from one teammate to the other and take up the rep count, like an ordinary Dora, while his guy ran the next half loop to take over from guy 1. This ended up going as YHC expected–the half lap wasn’t so bad, but merkins while waiting for your teammates to get all the way back around to you was reminiscent of a few May beatdowns. Popeye and Valve throupled/quadroupled with the two 2.0’s, Darryl Strawberry and Jacknife, who moved as one. Sort of. While Honeysuckle, Popeye, and Valve seemed to have no trouble with this one, YHC felt sorry for those for whom running is a life-sucker, but these guys also happen to be the ones with the biggest hearts, and they were clearly pushing hard so as not to leave their teammates suffering longer than necessary.

    The second grind was like the first, except we moved over to the bleachers, and instead of one man running a half lap, he would run up or down the bleachers, and the exercises were done at the top and bottom. At the bottom, 200 dips and 200 LBC’s. At the top, 200 step-ups (1:1) and 200 air presses (overhead). The step-ups were the crux for this one, but the men powered them out in enough time for an Indian Run of epic/stupid proportions.

    The 10 were split into two teams of 5 and each was positioned at opposing ends of the track (50 yard line). The man in the back of each line had to run to the front of the other team’s line, where he would choose a type of transportation for that team while he was head of the line. This was done to provide some variation, but also to give the other line’s guy an actual chance of catching up. This went fairly well, and only a few times did multiple new leaders arrive at about the same time. YHC did observe a few interesting choices for transportation. One looked like a walk, but with knees ever-so-slightly elevated. Not sure what this one was called: Tiptoe-down-the-hallway-at-night walk? Dodging-dog-bombs-in-the-backyard walk? High Grass?

    The mosey back to the flag was understandably slow after this last routine, but we still had some time for a few rounds of Mary. YHC thought it would be fun to introduce some of the newer guys to the more creatively named core exercises, like Afflecks (formerly A-Rods: a combination of J-Los and Pickle Pounders) and Nolan Ryans.

    The Animal shirt was given clean for the first time because Pope received it but couldn’t be present to present it. It went to Captain D’s for his effort despite it not being a game day (the large majority of his posts have ended up being games).
    COT and prayers for the women on the ACTS retreat and a few families dealing with tragedy. Maneater graciously prayed us out.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Dangling Participles – from Honeysuckle

    YHC and 8 HIMs convened at the Den Where the Lion Once Was. Knowing that Achilles tendon injuries were soon to be on the rise due to the Thibodaux “Master Plan”, the warmup was slightly extended.

    Warmarama:
    SSH, Imperial Walkers, Mountain Climbers, Windmills, Arm Circles (F/R), Cherry Pickers, Self Love

    As we’re in the middle of the May Challenge, YHC decided to spend most of the beatdown rehashing the types of things we’ve been doing to get points. Today, it would be mainly mileage, merkins, and big boy situps.

    Thang 1:

    To get the ball rolling, we began with cheddar shreddar. Some of the PAX remembered this one, others didn’t, but what YHC didn’t remember is how challenging it is. The PAX lined up in plank position shoulder to shoulder, and the PAX at the far left would move to become face to face with the PAX to his right and say “down” as they both do a merkin together.
    Then everything shifts one to the right, sort of like a conveyor belt. At the end, run to the edge of the parking lot and back only to do the cheddar shreddar again.

    To get the “silent retreat beatdown” effect, YHC suggested that maybe we didn’t need to say “down” depending on the connection felt with the PAX you’re lined up with. What resulted instead was some extremely exaggerated and loud “down!”s as different PAX felt emboldened to let out pent-up frustration and disappointment with certain of their fellow PAX.

    Thang 2:

    To continue with the merkins, a ladder exercise was to be performed starting with 5 merkins at the fresh concrete square, run to the back of the civic center to do 5 BBSs, run back to the square to do 10 merkins, and so on, until the round of 25 merkins and 25 BBSs were completed. The PAX were instructed to stay together until everyone was finished. YHC took a little too long getting those 25 BBSs and only Pope stayed behind. To the other 7 PAX, YHC would like to say, “DOWN!!”

    Thang 3:

    In the spirit of rehashing, YHC reprised the “name the thing these two songs have in common” game with “Small Town” (John Cougar Mellancamp) and “Live and Let Die” (Paul McCartney and the Wings). For the first song, hold Al Gore and every mention of “Small Town” was a jump squat or Bobby Hurley. For the second song, squats during the slow part, SSHs during the fast part, and high knees during the other part. Oh, what was the common thread to which I was referring to? It reminds me of a joke.

    A visitor from Homer at Harvard on the Bayou (Cardinal tells me I may get sued for saying that) had gotten lost looking for the building once famous for simultaneously housing the culinary school and the biology department. Upon noticing a dapper marketing professor and asked him, “Sir, where is Gouaux hall at?” Looking up from his new iPhone, the professor said, “Here at Harvard on the Bayou, we don’t end sentences with a preposition.” The Homerian native, whose chatter ability was surpassed only by his sarcasm prowess, responded, “Sir, you just did.”

    Or something like that. You may have heard another version. I cannot forget from where it is that I come FROM. This ever-changing world in which we live IN. A chickfila pops up, an ALDI pops up, and the Lion is gone.

    Thang 4:

    In the limited remaining time, the PAX attempted to descend the latter of Thang 3, starting with 25 each. We made it through 15 merkins and then ran the rest of the time to end up with 2 miles as the clock struck 6.

    Announcements/Intentions. Good luck to YJ. May you destroy your defense as well as you destroyed the wood in the expansion joints this morning. Safety Valve prayed us out.
    Kudos to the fasters. The PAX continue to inspire YHC with not only physical prowess but dedication in these other areas. It was a pleasure to Q this morning.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • I Don’t Take Requests – from America’s Best

    Let’s get right to it.

    Warmarama

    SSH
    Windmills
    Arm circles
    Self love
    Mountain climbers
    William Mays Hayes Jr, Esquire (slow Willie Mays Hayes, unknowingly developed by Safety Valve 24 hours earlier)

    At this point in our warmarama, a figure quietly (as if on hybrid power) appears out of the gloom. Ambling up, confused, perhaps lost, the mysterious man speaks: “Is this the F6 Catalina Wine Mixer?”
    And so we added some more celebratory side-straddle hops to welcome YJ.

    First Thang:
    Indigenous Peoples Run – starting with pretty annoying music.
    Trivia for merkins: the song was too easily identified as “Bad Boys” from Cops, so the level 2 questions were activated: nobody knew the year the show premiered (1989) or the artist (Inner Circle). Honeysuckle knew the tangent trivia that Gloria Estefan sang “Bad Boy,” and of course Enron nailed the movie trivia (Will Smith and Martin Lawrence). 10 merkin reward.

    Stop 2
    Popeye knows his CHiPs, answering the first two questions here. Honeysuckle called out the band 7Mary3 (LL cred). The next question drew a pause (“is this a trick question?”) before a few PAX answered that 7Mary3 originated at W&M. No merkins.

    Stop 3
    Apparently this new guy (or is he a downranger?) YankeeJeaux likes dags. You like dags? He even knew Turner and Hooch. 10 merkins because nobody knew about the Beagle Brigade or the Jim Belishi garbage movie K-9.

    Stop 4
    Giveaway question: who sings this song?
    Impossible question: name 2 band members in the Police.
    Since everyone only knows Sting, what instrument did Sting play? Honeysuckle immediately, confidently answered “bass”.
    And speaking of sting? The final question:
    In 1999, both of 47 year-old skydiver Joan Murray’s parachutes failed, and she plunged 14,500 ft, striking the ground at 80 mph, but survived due to hundreds of stings of what wingless wasp relative?
    The takeaway here is that fire ants sting, not bite.

    Next Thang: You can do it!
    The song: “Can’t Stand Losing You”
    The work: Thrusters, with a curl for every “can’t”. We maybe did twice as many curls as thrusters. The Police really know how to drive a point home using that repetition.

    Edit: during this, somehow Honeysuckle came up with another member of the Police: “Andy Summers.” No word on which satellite beams music trivia to his brain, but the delay has been reported and someone at NASA has been fired.)

    Thang 3:
    YHC had formulated a Dora that was all points (Merkins, Curls, BBS), but that was scrapped for several reasons:
    1. Safety Valve ran the same Dora yesterday.
    2. 300 BBS yesterday led to abrasions on the area I believe the Jerky Boys referred to as the “ass-neck.”
    3. BBS and curls are only half-points.
    And so the Dora would be 200 merkins, followed by . . . 200 merkins.
    Two songs on repeat would direct the partner: during song one (Walking on the Moon), lunge walk, with a jump squat on each ”walking.” During song 2 (“Canary in a Coal Mine”), partner runs a lap. Wasn’t thinking about another trigger for this, but since Dox asked (“ooo! Miss Bliss, you forgot to give us homework!”), there would be a burpee on “canary.”

    All was running very smoothly…. Until Paradox tried to make a request? Now this beatdown was obviously inspired by the Exicon listing for “Roxanne.” But YHC always thought that using that song was a bit superficial, and maybe lazy, because The Police have so so so so so so many repetitive songs. I thought we could go deeper.
    So when Dox wanted to hear “Roxanne” YHC first thought “ok, you asked for it,” and considered it… but then YHC remembered:
    I don’t take requests.
    And I’d cataloged a few more Police songs with triggers, so instead we would get to hear the very appropriate “King of Pain” while we held our feet six inches and raised them up on every “soul” and “king of pain.”

    That left us with just enough time for a bit of Mary, and Jankee Jeaux quickly calculated that we had about 25 BBS of time left. We completed them during “Driven to Tears,” an Opus to the cloud of stank rained down upon YHC by YJ only moments earlier.

    COT and Dox prayed us out.

    Always an honor and a pleasure to lead.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Staking, Less, Killer – from Honeysuckle

    A universally accepted truth is that F3 Thibodaux is the most creative F3 group among those consisting of more than one type of doctor. Which pretty much puts it in the running for most creative F3 worldwide.

    But before we go any further, warmarama:

    SSH, windmills, willie Mayes Hayes, imperial walkers, arm circles forward and reverse, cherry pickers, Carolina high knees, regular butt kicks

    The Thang:

    YHC recently got interested in how does one quantify creativity. One way is via the Remote Associates Test (RAT). This test reveals three words, and the test taker has to figure out a fourth word that connects the other three. Our example today was

    Picture, washer, shopping

    And goose correctly answered “window” as the answer. Color me shocked.

    To simplify the beatdown structure, today the PAX would instead be doing a musical RAT (see hype) with pairs of songs.

    Five Doras were planned for teams of two. Each Dora corresponded to a song pair. Transport would involve coupons in one direction (one team member takes it to the far end and runs back, the second team member does the opposite).

    The PAX could guess the connection between the pair of songs and avoid 5 thrusters at the far end of the course for the next round. In reality, YHC quickly forgot about that part and likely no thrusters were done the whole time. Send complaints to paradox@innercircle.net.

    The Doras were 200 reps per exercise.

    1) merkins, SSHs, murder bunny transport
    2) Squats, v-ups, rifle carry transport
    3)Carolina dry docks, flutter kicks, block and bear transport
    4)Apollo oh-nos, LBC, lunge transport
    5)Crab dip, WWI sit ups, rifle carry

    We sped through the last few rounds due to time.

    The corresponding songs were

    1) A View to a Kill, Duran Duran / it’s my life, Talk Talk (double names)
    2) We have all the time in the world, Louis Armstrong/ the living daylights, A-ha (James bond theme songs)
    3) Take on me, A-ha / SOS, ABBA (palindrome band names)
    4) Atlantic City, the band / blinded by the light, Manfred Mann (covers of Bruce Springsteen songs)
    5) Ride like the wind, Christopher cross / Peg, Steely Dan (Michael McDonald backups in both)

    Count off, name off, announcements, intentions. May challenge starting. Pray for families and AB fighting Covid. YHC’s bionic partner for Doras today, Lil Cuz, prayed us out.

    As always it was a pleasure and honor to Q this morning. The PAX killed this and we 1000% absolutely don’t have to worry about AI being more creative than humans after all. I will sleep well tonight.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

    I heard it on the honeysuckle vine:
    —A view to a kill is also a James Bond theme song. YJ immediately picked up on this.
    —aha was played twice in a row
    —SOS is also a palindrome
    —the group Honeysuckle also has an Atlantic City cover.
    —in Peg, Steely Dan made Michael McDonald sing multiple individual notes and these were mixed together to form different sung chords in the song.
    —Technically, the first song played in the theme of “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service” is an instrumental, with the Louis Armstrong song played afterwards.
    —Louis Armstrong does not play the trumpet part in the song.