F3 New Orleans

Tag: Yankee Joe

  • Flowers by Moby? Never heard of it… – from Paradox

    `YHC got the nod from Coach Goose in the dugout on Wednesday afternoon. Fresh legs were needed from the Q bullpen. Bring in the middle reliever. We all know this pitcher. His fastball, high 60s and fading. His curve, non-existent. Some chin music to establish the zone, sure. But YHCs changeup? Deadly effective and enough to get you to the closer. YHC took a jog to the mound with JBL at my side and a Flower up my sleeve.

    Warmup:

    SSH while Cardinal sauntered up then we got to business with an attempt at 21’s. YHC’s cadence was off from the start, and it cost the PAX 5 burpees. Enron continues to struggle with rhythm-based exercises and salsa classes have been recommended. The warmup dAscended into chaos from here. Justifications for 21s failure were cast out and the knives had to be sharpened before we even hit 5:35a. YHC attempted to restore order with some windmills and grass grabbers and then the mumble chatter returned with a vengeance when Moroccan squats were followed by a sketchy cadenced Motivator. We needed a bumper mosey to right the ship and Yankee Joe ominously predicted only more pain and confusion.

    Warmup song: “Supernatural” by Ben Rector. Burpees on Supernatural and Moroccan squats on the rest of the song. The Pax had settled in now and those Moroccan squats even had a few Shakira shimmies. On to the main event.

    THANG – FLORA with a FLOWER

    Round 1
    P1- 50 Coupon Overhead press in sets of 10 . P2 holding decline plank with legs on coupon.
    Song: “Flower” by Moby- Decline Merkins- Sally Up (up merkin position) Sally Down (decline mission impossible). This set the tone of intensity and these HIMs were locked in for a battle.

    Round 2
    P2- 100 Coupon Swings- sets of 25 swapping with P2 doing incline plank on the coupon
    Song: “Flower” by Moby- Sally Up (coupon squat up), Sally Down (deep squat hold). At this point the odorous rat of repetition was in the air and still PAX effort increased.

    Round 3
    P1- 150 coupon chest presses in in sets of 30 swapping with P2 who held side planks (swap sides on each set)
    Song: “Flower” by Moby- Sally Up/Down- Leg Raises. The OG Moby exercise felt strangely comforting and a calm in the storm before the finisher.

    Round 4
    P1 200 Coupon flutter kicks (1 is 1) in sets of 40 while P2 holds 6 inch coupon leg raise and then swap.
    Song: “Flower” by Moby- Sally Up (coupon OHP) then back to chest on Sally Down. Now the gig was up and the lyrics locked in. Still no quit in these pax.

    By the time round 2 hit Cardinal was adding “I’ve never heard this song” on cue and the effort to push through these was impressive. Strong work.

    COT and Goose prayed us out

    Thanks for letting me lead fellas. Hope you enjoyed the changeup.

    SV burger ticket sales this weekend at St. Thomas. Two week countdown till the cookout and race day. Check out the link on slack or groupMe for more info.

    Sign up your team and let’s get those sponsorships locked down.
    SYITG.

    Paradox

  • “Brick killed a guy” – from Enron

    Better late than never a backblast from Monday, 7/18/22.

    YHC rolled up to the stage in the dark to prepare for the morning’s beatdown. After some prior recalling from Paradox that it has been a while since the bricks have been seen, a theme popped up. 12 bricks were unloaded and prepared for the PAX. (Fortunately, 2 extra bricks were unveiled as Paradox found that they are more fragile than previously believed).
    Shortly thereafter the following started rolling in:

    PAX: Enron, Goose, Paradox, Wilford Montana, Yankee Joe

    Warmup: the usual plus a couple with a mosey, bricks in hand, to the stop sign afterwards – SSH, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, Grass Grabbers, IW

    After gathering at the stop sign, YHC informed the PAX that the bricks were now a part of them. “There are many bricks like this, but these bricks are mine”. Instructing that the bricks would not be placed on the ground for the remainder of the time.

    Thang 1: Rich Man’s Row Run/Nur
    Rotating Run and Nur between each light pole along the way, the following exercises were completed at each pole with bricks.
    5 x Hand Release Brick Merkins
    10 x Flys with Bricks (The clapping/showing-off of the bricks during this is what broke two bricks for Paradox, resulting in having to carry 4 pieces for the remainder of the run)
    15 x Arms out Squats
    20 x Shoulder Taps
    25 x Moroccan Night Clubs
    Rinse and Repeat – completed 3 rounds of these before making it back to the front of the Stage

    Thang 2: A song – “Brick House” – The Commodores
    After some banter about difficulties of connecting to JBL and the ongoing discussion/argument of which portable speaker is best, the song was started. Thanks to Wilford Montana for the correct guess on the year “Brick House” was released – 1977.
    The following was performed:
    Curls for the duration of the song
    Overhead clap on “Brick”
    Seal Clap on “House”

    Thang 3: 7-18-22s
    Chose a triangle using the picnic tables that the PAX are praying are still around for the St. Vincent 500, the following exercises were completed at each one, still with bricks:
    7- Moroccan Night Clubs
    Bear Crawl to Table
    18 – V ups
    Crab Walk
    22 – Curls
    Mosey

    Next Round:
    7 – Tricep Extensions
    Bear Crawl
    18- Floyd Mayweather’s
    Crab Walk
    22 – Nolan Ryan’s (11 on Each side)
    Mosey back

    Finished with some brick included Mary.

    COT and prayed us out. It was a great experience this morning with these guys, thanks to all that made it.

    Till next time in the Gloom,
    Enron

  • The Life of St. Vincent de Paul – from Paradox

    Bright morning sun, fresh cut grass and a few buried treasures met 10 PAX Saturday at the Peltch. The hype for the St. Vincent 500 is steadily building so YHC decided to give the PAX a history beatdown and honor the life of this great Saint.

    Standard issue warmup with some added flare. What/who is a Nancy Kerrigan? Still a mystery. During a recent beatdown intervention YHC was confronted by none other than Enron (Et tu, Brute?) about doing backwards arm circles during the time that is not clearly designated for either forward or backward arm circles. Strong opinions were laid on the table. An entire life’s work of beatdown warmups were questioned. Lines were drawn in the sand. In the end YHC acknowledged the error in his ways and gave into the authorities. Henceforth Q designates forward or backward AC. So let it be written.

    Enough Tom Foolery, to the beatdown..

    THANG 1 -The Early Life

    St. Vincent de Paul was born in a peasant village in rural France on 4/24/1581.
    PAX partnered up to get some monkey bar hang time while the partner knocked out 4 burpees, flap jack, followed by 24 LBCs, flap jack ,followed by 81 SSH. Flap jack. Tons of mumblechatter about the health attributes of a dead hang. Yankee Joe assured us his shoulder joints had actual cob webbs and Cardinal hung bravely from the short bar with worldclass form. We were all better for it. Coyote could still be hanging if he wanted to. The joint laxity is strong with 2.0s.

    A short mosey to the ball field where we continued to contemplate the hard work that St. Vincent learned while helping his family tend farm animals and plow fields. Staying in partner groups in wheelbarrow format we worked a small plot of land then had to flip the equipment for partner leg raises. Partners then swapped and one was the plow while the other provided the manpower. This was completed during the length of the classic from Jason Aldean “Amarillo Sky”. Team Goose with an impressive display of teamwork here as the 2.0s took a leg each to help Pops plow his field. Tclaps

    Mosey to the cornhole zone for a musical interlude. St. Vincent’s parents noticed his intelligence, and after many sacrifices were able to send him to study for the priesthood. After excelling in school, he was ordained as a priest at the age of 19. Due to the law at the time, he could not perform duties as a parish priest until 24 so he decided to pursue degrees in canon law and theology. Becoming a theology Rockstar was his goal but this was also a time of great spiritual turmoil for the young priest.

    PAX listened to “Party Rock” and performed Imperial walkers during the intro, seal claps on “claps” and then a cluster of
    Bonnie Blairs during the chorus. Earmuffs were applied as YHC could not find the nonexplicit version.

    Thang 2 -Seven Seas and “The Mission”

    After completing his education St. Vincent was eager to serve as a priest and put his years of learning into practice. God had other plans. He was captured by pirates and eventually sold into slavery. Through a span of 2 years he was traded from ship to ship. Instead of despair, St. Vincent used this time to learn alchemy, navigations, and continue the discernment process to find what God truly had planned for him.

    JBL played “Around the World” by Daft Punk while PAX completed around the world lunges and Moroccan night clubs during the short breaks.

    Next we headed for the seven seas. A preset course of cones directed us into stations of “treasure” on the crest of each wave. PAX started with 4x4x4 (merkins, mountain climbers SSH) as a single pax was fed into the ocean at a time. Crest stations included kettlebell OHP x10, heavy bar OHP x10 and dumbbell flies x10 while trough stations involved 5 merkins. Run between cones.

    St. Vincent eventually converted his own slave master to Christianity and won his release returning to France where he began the Congregation of the Mission and Daughters of Charity. Above all else his mission was to “be Christ among the poor “and to “see Christ among the poor”. He spent the next 30 plus years serving the poor and “left behind” population of France and allocating resources to provide for organizations to continue this work.

    We used these same 7 stations for “St. Vincent Webb’s” which consisted of increasing merkins x1 and air presses x2 until 7 merkins and 14 air presses were achieved. On the way back we did LBC x2 and American Hammers x4 in increasing fashion until 14 lbcs and 28 American hammers were complete.
    A mosey back to flag to complete the last segment of St. Vincent’s life. While afflicted with painful sores on his lower extremities St. Vincent was bound to a chair or bed until his death. He did not let this hamper his mission. He completed thousands of letters to the aristocracy of France and utilized these resources to provide for the poor and needy.

    Special round of Mary where we completed no leg movement core exercises. Penguins, big boy situps, Nolan Ryans, scuba steves and Australian sweat angels.
    COT and Prayer

    **Post Beatdown extra curriculars: encore version of “Party Rock” was completed while picking up cones and YHC accessories. Some say Enrons dance moves changed the course of Thibodaux history. Others were less enthused.

    Thanks for letting me lead fellas. As always I had a ball creating and attempting to execute this one. Excited to serve this community and continue the mission of St. Vincent de Paul through our upcoming fundraiser.

    Sign up your team for the SV500 and lets get those sponsorships locked down.

    SYITG
    Paradox

  • Humility is a Moving Target – from Goose

    Storm clouds threatened as 6 PAX gathered in the muggly gloom for YHC’s third and somewhat wonky attempt at a beatdown. Nevertheless, the theme was true and the PAX was hungry. Said theme revolved around gratitude and humility.

    Warmup:
    The norm with an added deep hip flexor pulses (thing yoga crescent lunch with a hint of wife pleasers)

    Thang 1: Psalm 30:6-7
    We all too often, during the good times, can become complacent and thus tempted to push Him aside and “take over the reins.” Even in the tougher times, we are eager to “do it ourselves.” This is self-will run riot. To remind us of this awesome show of humility on the part of King David…
    PAX completed a set of worst worst merkins (6 ct each in slow cadence) with an additional 6 ct of full extended push-ups to fire up the core. (30 total); Lunged 15 yards; Round of mucho leg-o, 5 ct each of narrow squats, normal squats, wide squats, jump squats, and bonnie blair’s (30 total); Bear crawl 15 yards back to starting marker (15 + 15 = 30)

    Thang 2: Highway to Hell
    YHC spoke of a time when he took matters into his own hands, ignored all of the signs (literal and otherwise), and…well…destroyed a minivan and his pride. It was a powerful moment in humility (and certainly gratitude). With free will, we certainly must “drive,” but we also must pay attention to the signs and guideposts.

    PAX was treated to BOSÉ and an effortless demonstration of musical elysium to the tune of “Highway to Hell” by AC/DC. PAX did J-Lo’s throughout, dropping down for scuba steve’s during the chorus.

    Thang 3: Matthew the Egyptian (Matt 18:20)
    Part of YHC’s immense gratitude for the Thibodaux PAX could not be better summarized than Matt 18:20, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

    PAX lined up and completed a long series of “walk like an egyptian,” in which the entire PAX low lunged and held, while twisting core to the side of the front knee. The last PAX completed 5 LBC’s, bolted to the front of the line; the entire PAX then lunged to the opposite leg with opposite core twist. PAX completed 18 held lunges for a duration of 5 1/2 minutes. (In retrospect, the thang would work better with a larger PAX and clearer instructions from YHC)

    Thang 4: Illusion of Control
    To really break through our need for control in this life, we have to push through to a place where it (control) ceases to exist. In this case, muscle failure.
    PAX did merkins (OYO) until failure. Enron, Goose, and Paradox scorched YHC’s failure point of 32

    Next, PAX did squats until failure. Cardinal and Montana showed off some impressive stamina and eventually YHC had to call it for sake of time (next time, it will be bonnie blairs!).

    Next, freddie mercury’s and finally back to regular merkins under cadence; when YHC failed, Goose picked up the count with Goose and Paradox putting on a showcase of Dad strength.

    PAX finished with a strong session of Mary, big boy sit-ups, zombie crunches, supermans, scuba steve’s, etc. – all 30 ct. For the final exercise, yet to be named (our research team is madly combing through the Exicon literature), PAX got into superman position, but with hands behind head and toes grounded. Then lifted entire torso up to the left; returned to start position, still hovering, then lifted the torso up to right; returned to hover. PAX completed 10 count with a low country chorus of Gollum-like mumble(grunting).

    COT and Montana prayed us out. Grateful for the opportunity to serve. Will sharpen up transitions for next time.

    The storm never materialized.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe

  • July 11–A Big Day – from Goose

    5 PAX gathered on a warm Monday morning, not knowing it was a big day, which would require a big beatdown. First, July 11 is the 40th anniversary of YHC’s baptism, which started it all. Second, it’s the Feast of St. Benedict, who not only is the father of monasticism, but his monasteries were responsible for preserving western civilization after the fall of Rome. Lots to celebrate!

    Warmup: the usual suspects

    Thang 1: March 21, 547
    Benedict died on that date, just like God told him he would. PAX completed continuous rounds of the following for 3 minutes and 21 seconds: 5 merkins, 4 burpees, 7 squats

    Thang 2: Rule of Life
    Benedict was asked to write a rule of life for the first monastic community–he did such a good job, they tried to kill him twice. Cupid would provide the same experience for us.
    Song–Cupid Shuffle; follow his rules: plank for the duration, move around in a circle for every “to the right” or “to the left”, plank jacks for every “kick”, mountain climbers for every “walk it by yourself”, and hand-release merkin for every “down, down, do yo thang”.

    Thang 3: Death
    Baptism is choosing to enter into death with Christ so to rise with Him. So, we entered into a modified Bataan Death Crawl: Partnered up, and P1 started bear crawling around the perimeter of the field while P2 did 5 burpees and ran to catch up to P1, and they switched. Butt slaps, punches, etc. were encouraged.

    Thang 4: Resurrection
    Song–“Christ is Risen”, by Matt Maher: hold Al Gore for the duration, and jump squat on every “risen”, “awake”, and “rise”. The quads burned with the fire of purification.

    Thang 4: “We will run and not grow weary.”
    PAX moseyed the short loop, sprinting every third street light. Paradox kept YHC honest on maximum effort, and Montana impressively showed some serious afterburners toward the end of his third ever beatdown (and self-reportedly, the third time he’s ever exercised in his life).

    Back to the flag for 7 minutes of substantial Mary, COT, and Yankee Joe prayed us out. Many thanks for an awesome beatdown, fellas!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • What Makes Our Nation Great? BOMBS – from Goose

    4 PAX for the 4th, and YHC focused on what makes a nation truly great–the unnoticed people on the ground level who do the “small”, thankless work, generation after generation. It’s hard work, humility, patience, perseverance, and a willingness to just keep grinding it out day after day regardless of the circumstances. We would be in solidarity with them this morning.

    After a much needed warmup of the usual after Yankee’s soreness-inducing Saturday, YHC introduced the main Thang:

    Often, we hear about the men who led and made major decisions in decisive battles, but rarely do we think about those who built the weapons, who hauled the ammunition and gear into the field, and who followed orders and took care of their brothers in the trenches.
    So, the PAX partnered up, and while one partner made continuous progress on the road to greatness by doing alternating step-ups on the picnic tables, the other partner built BOMBS (then flapjack):

    Bicep Curls–17
    Overhead Press–70 (by tens)
    Manmakers–6(teeen)
    Big Boy Situps w/block–50 (by tens)
    Squats w/block–13

    Altogether, 1776, 50 stars, and 13 stripes

    Thang 2: Push Through It

    All PAX army crawled the length of the field, then ran back. It was grueling work, and the ground was harder than it seemed, so all were glad to be done with it. But, of course, in keeping with the theme, YHC announced we’d be repeating the trek.

    YHC shared his great admiration for those on the battlefield and in their homes who are able to make the shift from asking the question, “How much more of this can I take?” to “What is needed of me in this moment?” This shift seems to require a lot of practice (which YHC was happy to provide this morning), and I think it’s one of the main reasons for the Q-drenaline phenomenon–your focus is on the PAX and the plan rather than on constantly trying to calculate how much more you think you can suffer.

    Thang 3: Coyote Ugly’s

    Back to the picnic tables. Partner 1 holds Partner 2’s legs in wheelbarrow position while Partner 1 steps up with his arms onto the bench, merkin, then onto the top, merkin, back down to the bench, merkin, and down to the ground, merkin. That’s 1 rep. The plan was for each PAX to do 5 reps, but the physics of the step up from the ground to the bench proved to be a major strain on the lower back, despite the holding partner’s best efforts. So, each did 3 reps with legs held, and the last two with feet on the ground. Looking back, it might have been more successful just going from the bench to the top, skipping the ground stage altogether.

    With a few minutes left, all PAX sprinted to the road and back just to add some intensity before 7 minutes of Mary (“7 minute abs!”): All 20 IC–Flutter kicks, LBC’s, Leg raises, American Hammers, Hello Dollies, and Wife Pleasers.

    COT with some great updates about the St. Vincent 500 and some intense prayer intentions including thanks for Percleator’s finding a house. We’re grateful that they finally found a winner, but it won’t be the same without him!
    Extremely grateful for these HIMs and their willingness to get up early and grind it out, as well as for the gift of this great nation and the people who make it that way.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • All Aboard the Nostalgia Train – from Paradox

    Louisiana summers always remind YHC of a childhood formed by endless pool days and blockbuster movie nights. (RIP video stores and God bless my parents for raising us in the pre streaming/iPad parenting era). Nothing better than rolling into the blockbuster with 5 bucks and having to make a single VHS selection with your siblings. Eyes still hazy with chlorine you scanned the not age-appropriate aisles and left with questions but always depended on the classics to take you home. Bring that baby to the counter, get reminded to “be kind and rewind” and you were just a trip to Pizza Hut away from a golden night in 1995. All of which suggests a list of what I consider to be the most formative movies during my upbringing, and we shall honor them today.

    A muggy yet comfortable Peltch met 4 PAX eager to get stronger. After a few flex sessions in our new shirts, we were ready to roll.

    Warmup
    The usual suspects and some cardio cleansers to get the furnace rolling. Tighty Whitey with a very respectable 6:03 arrival, Tclaps.
    SSH, GG, IW, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, Mountain Climbers
    With a mosey to the Thunderdome we were all aboard the Nostalgia Train, transporting us back to the simpler times of our childhood…

    SpaceJam (1996) Fighting Monstars with MJ
    YHC rolled into the thunderdome in a blind panic realizing after a recent billing snafu my apple music account was not operating. Full tunnel vision set in as YHC planned humming the tune of the Space Jam theme song while an awkward 4 minutes passed by. Mumblechatter rose to a crescendo and some even blasphemed that there was trouble in JBL paradise. Goose stepped in and restored order to the beatdown with a Youtube recommendation and neurologic function returned to baseline. Its not lost on YHC that during the great Bluetooth wars of 2022 Team Anker could have used this situation for advantage but chose grace instead. There could be peace talks soon.

    Song -SpaceJam Theme Song via Youtube- Side shuffle suicides with a jump shot on SLAM and JAM. Followed by Ring of Fire Incline Merkins till we got to 96 (Space Jam Released in 1996). Yankee Joe correctly selected 1996 and seemed to have a knack for Year of movie selections for the entire beatdown.
    Mosey to Chimney and a great discussion about the definition of mumblechatter in all its forms.

    Ghostbusters (1984) Conquering our Foes with Science
    Song Ghostbusters by Ray Park: – Burpees on “GhostBusters”, IW on the rest of the song. Goose informed us that this was not Ray Park who became Darth Maul but actually Ray Park that did absolutely nothing else and we pondered how much he got in royalties from that gem.
    Partner up 200 Mountain climbers while partner does Zombie walks to the chimney and back.

    Homeward Bound (1992) Build the Bond, then put it to the test
    Partner up and completed 10 partner leg raises each x10, 3 rounds.
    Partner team went shoulder to shoulder for 10 step in lock step lunges then 10 merkins/10 squats while keeping tempo with your partner to chimney and back.

    Mosey to baseball Field via an Indiana Jones Temple of Doom run. The Last man in the Indian run drops off for 3 bonnie blairs then runs to catch up. After he “flattens” the pax, they all complete 5 merkins then repeat till we made it to the baseball field.

    Jurassic Park (1993) Hold on to your Butts!
    Partner up and one man does monkey humpers while the other does Trex lunges arond the bases. YHC intended these to be more of a skip but poor explanations had the PAX with full form lunges and everyones quads were gone pecan. (YHC was taught this phrase over the weekend and still figuring out how to use it)

    Mosey back to the flag and Yankee proclaimed He would not be endorsing YHCs dinosaur park!

    Just enough time for a little Extra Mary on the feast of her Immaculate Heart
    Dolphin Hops, Nolan Ryans, LBCs, Sweat Angels, Scuba Steve, Big Boys, Bicycles
    Announcement: Tuesdays now at Schriever Park at 6am, St. Vincent 500 registrations and station sponsorships

    Prayer Intentions
    COT and Yankee Joe prayed us out

    Great effort and some top notch mosey discussions today fellas, enjoyed it. Thanks for accommodating my schedule and allowing me to lead.

    SYITG
    PARADOX

  • DJ DOD – from Paradox

    Deep in the depths of the Paradox iPhone lives a playlist that has no name. It feeds on the souls of poor burpee form. It has daily injections of AC/DC and Led Zeppelin. It never stops looking for repetitive songs to link with even more repetitive exercises. It delights at the thought of mumblechatter. It has one singular purpose: smoke the PAX. It has grown for months in darkness waiting to be unleashed on unsuspecting individuals at the Stage when the moment was right…
    YHCc (your humble co-coordinator) rolled into a pitch-black stage after an early morning power outage. After questionable attendance and busy schedules abound a pre planned CoQ beatdown was ready to roll with Enron. A simple mixture of 1 deck of death plus a playlist was proposed and when the whistle blew 5:30 am the Stage lights flashed on and the monster was unleashed.

    Warmup
    Enron lead us through some favorites (SSH, WM, IW, grass grabbers ) and YHCc led a shoulder stretch series capped by a bumper Mosey with a beautiful sunrise where we weighed the pros and cons of an on site bathroom for the SV500 . (it was voted neigh x3)

    THANG
    Justin Timberlake got us started with “Cant stop the feeling” One pax ran the track , high knees on bench straight away while 2 pax got jiggy with some Morrocans. Cant stop the feeling indeed.
    DOD round 1: 20 merkins, 12 burpees, 17 LBCs
    Eminem led us to the picnic tables where we completed incline merkin types in ring of fire format during “Till I collapse”. Yankee Joe came up with an ingenious variation of staggered picnic table merkins. We alternated merkins sets with ring of fire step up. Well played slim shady.
    DOD round 2: 20 incline merkins, 400m sprint, 15 RosaLitas. Some confusion here on difference between Rosalita and Hello Dollie and Gooses deep exicon knowledge was sorely missed. (he had an appropriate excused absence)

    We once again fell into a burning Ring of Fire during Bear crawls around the picnic table while Johnny Cash informed us that love was a burning thing born of wild desire. Merkins for every “fire” and continuous bearcrawls the rest. We felt the love Johnny.

    DOD round 3- 100 SSH, Bear crawl, Karaoke to sidewalk and back

    YHCc gave the pax a disclaimer that things were about to get weird as JBL pulled a favorite from YHCc’s high school techno phase. Benny Benassi’/Skrillex led us through Cinema with Bicycles during all the beat drops and a variety of core for the rest (penguins, lbcs, big boys, leg raises). Enron got lost in a techno haze as the bicycle pace picked up and only a timely “recover” saved him from a strobe light seizure.

    2 minutes left for Lil Jon to ask us a deep philosophical question: Turn Down for What???
    Burpees on this phrase and IW on the rest. A fine finisher. Is there really anything We should turn down for? We are still searching for the answer.

    Announcements: Tuesdays at 6am for the new AO @ Shriever park. Continued preparations for the SV 500.
    Congrats to the Dawsons on the new 2.0 baby Joseph! There are reports his lil baby crunches are already surpassing his fathers form.
    COT and Enron prayed us out.

    Thanks to Enron for the co-Q . DJ DOD had a nice tempo and will be a Stage mainstay.
    Beautiful morning with a lot of Gods blessings to celebrate. Thanks for the opportunity fellas.

    SYITG

    DJ Pdox

  • You Only Need Two to Play Farkel – from Goose

    YHC isn’t usually the first to arrive, so when the Stage was empty upon arrival and still empty minus the flag and the Goose-mobile at 5:29, things were looking bleak. But that’s when Yankee Joe pulled in, solid in his commitment to make a full comeback after having posted for the first time in a long time on Saturday. YHC was grateful for the comeradery and impressed at his willingness to get back in the saddle at the very next possible beatdown!

    Warmup commenced with the usual, though what was unusual was how fully soaked we were after just a few minutes in the high humidity. The sprinklers would be a somewhat welcomed relief today.
    After a mosey to the stop sign and back, YHC explained that this beatdown would be inspired by a game that’s a Dawson-house favorite, Farkel. But, only slightly. We’d just be using the letters for this coupon-heavy beatdown.

    While Partner 1 ran w/coupon to the sidewalk, completed three man-makers, and ran w/coupon back, Partner 2 chipped away at a shared 100 reps of the following:
    -Figure 8’s (swing coupon around and through the legs, switch hands with each pass through)
    -Around the World (swing coupon in a circle around the body, switch hands at front and back, switch directions every other set)
    -Rows
    -Kettle Bell Swings
    -Extensions (Tricep)
    -Lunge Curls–did this one together; lung walk with coupon to the sidewalk, bicep curl with every step

    YHC left the Farkel theme behind and Anker faithfully played a song for us: “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic” by the Police
    On your 6; hold block high and flutter kicks during the verses; bench press for every “Every little thing,” “magic,” and anything that rhymes with “magic.”
    Hands started wanting to cramp about halfway through, but we finished strong and had time for about 6 minutes of Mary: LBC’s, Hello Dolly’s, Nolan Ryan’s, and J-Lo’s.

    For those who might doubt, Yankee Joe kept up with YHC the whole time–we were both winded but kept pushing hard (through the sprinklers) for the sake of the other. Grateful to have him back in the pack!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • “A Friggin’ Long Time” – from Goose

    The number 40 is clearly a big deal–it shows up in some of the most important events in Scripture, and it’s a turning point in the lives of most people. So, this day being that turning point for YHC, I decided to take a dive into some of those important events and make at least one of the PAX puke in the process.
    If you translate the number 40 from the original Hebrew, it technically means “a friggin’ long time,” as in, “It rained for a friggin’ long time,” or, “The Israelites were in the desert for a friggin’ long time.” Hence, the theme of the following routines (after a warmup of the usual, including suggestions of a more efficient combination of some of the favorite exercises, such as “Moroccan Self-Love,” the image of which continues to make YHC laugh out loud at inopportune times, like in church the next day):

    Noah’s Ark:
    YHC decided to honor a few of the animals who took that famous ride, and the PAX lined up in the outfield to do 40 steps forward and 40 steps backward of the following:
    bear crawls, crab walks, duck walks, and inchworm merkins.
    Backward duck walks burned, and backward inchworm merkins required more coordination than most of the PAX could muster, but they will definitely be used again in the future.

    Exodus:
    After being freed from Egypt, crossing the Red Sea on dry land, their enemies being completely destroyed, being fed miraculously every morning and evening, led by a pillar of fire by night and cloud by day, the Israelites struggled to have faith that God could lead them to inhabit the land He promised. After sending a group of spies to reconnoiter the land, they came back with a report, that despite the land being amazing, it would be impossible to take because of the large race of people living there. Because of their lack of faith and obstinance, they then had to take a roundabout route that took them 40 years to complete before faithful men finally led them to conquer and inhabit the land.
    Moseyed to the lower field, and after an explanation of the meaning and origins of the word “reconnoiter” and a challenge from Paradox to Enron to read a book every now and then, the PAX partnered up for the following:
    Partner 1–run to the outfield fence (from the outside) and do 20 squat jumps (squatting behind the city walls and leaping up to take a peek at what’s inside).
    Partner 2–chilly jacks until partner returns with news from all the reconnoitering.
    Once both partners have completed the squat jumps, it was an Indian Run to the Thunderdome, which was right behind us, but, of course, we had to take a roundabout route to the street and around the front entrance of the park first.

    Temptation of Jesus in the Desert:
    After eating nothing for 40 days and 40 nights (“a friggin’ long time”), Jesus was very hungry, and after this exercise, the PAX would be very winded. 10 burpees EMOM for 4 minutes = 40 quick burpees. YHC had originally considered more, but was grateful for only 40 after the previous exercises and in the thick humidity. Yankee Joe took this opportunity to “boot” for the first time that day (literal translation = “reconnoiter the inside of a toilet bowl”), which reminded him of his college days, and after which he jumped right back in with renewed vigor.

    40 Days between Easter and Ascension:
    During the time period after the Resurrection and before the Ascension, a few of the apostles went fishing, caught nothing, and after being directed by a mysterious person on shore (Jesus) to throw their nets on the other side of the boat, they hauled in 153 large fish. So, after moseying to the chimney, we used the letters in the word FISH, to complete 40 reps of the following:
    Frogs (Crunchy variety): OYO, 1 is 1
    Imperial Walkers: IC, 2:1
    Squats: OYO
    Hand-release Merkins: OYO (x33 to add up to 153)

    Barnabas:
    June 11 is also the feast day of the Apostle Barnabas. Though not one of the original 12, he was Paul’s main companion for most of his journeys, many of which ended in some rough treatment. So, the PAX partnered up again for three rounds of partner carries, 20 yards out, flapjack, and 20 yards back (40):
    1. Fireman’s Carry (over the shoulders)
    2. Wheelbarrow
    3. Partner Drag (wrap around from behind, heels dragging)
    Paradox claims to have a clear path to heaven now that he’s carried a priest (Cardinal) on his shoulders.

    40 Finisher:
    YHC took it right up to the limit with nine rounds of Tabata, 40 seconds work, 20 seconds rest:
    flutter kicks, squats, merkins, LBC’s, lunges (front to back), shoulder tap merkins, hello dollies, side lunges, and Maktars.
    Time got away from YHC, and we started the run back to the flag at 7:30. The PAX assumed the 40 theme was being taken to the extreme with a 7:40 finish, but despite YHC’s birthday priveleges, breaking protocol (on purpose) is prohibited.

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.
    YHC was surprised by a gift from the PAX presented by Paradox: a gift-wrapped, monogrammed coupon! I’m not sure whether to mount it over the mantle or to use it exclusively at all following beatdowns, but I was deeply touched and continue to be grateful that these men are willing to stay the path of hard growth with me week after week. The brotherhood is deep and much appreciated, gents!
    P.S. Heck of a job, Yankee Joe! He may have “booted” multiple times, but in returning today after having been out for months, he pushed through and finished strong, and YHC is honored to now be a member of the 40-and-over club with him.

    SYITG,
    Goose