F3 New Orleans

Tag: Yankee Joe

  • Tuesday Tough, and the Untimely Death of an F3 Hero – from Goose

    YHC expected only one or two tough guys to show this morning given the weather report and so was excited to see three hardy gentlemen awaiting him at The Stage nervous for what has now been deemed #Tuesday Tough since YHC seems to be the only one Q-ing. (I really think other Q’s are just as hard, but perception is everything. I mean, Enron wears a Mudgear Speedo to every beatdown regardless of how low the temperature is.) I do like a good challenge, though, and no beatdown should be wasted, so the tough get going.

    Warmup: plenty of the usuals plus Hairy Rockettes, high knees and butt kicks to shake of the cold and the tight joints from yesterday. Lots of cadence discussion, and YHC is getting better at using “Starting” rather than “Ready”, but not perfect yet.

    1st Thang:
    With a nod to last week’s Merkin Mile, YHC would use the long run as both a way to both prolong the warmup and keep up the “tough Q” image. This time, instead of 25 merkins every quarter mile, we did 25 jump squats for a total of 100. Not as bad as the merkins, but still tough, and provided some time to chat about modern literature.

    2nd Thang:
    Song: Trans Siberian Orchestra’s “Christmas Eve”, a rock combo of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and “Carol of the Bells”. Each movement was matched with a core exercise, which amounted to lots of flutter kicks, 6-inch holds, Freddies, and lots and lots of Dying Cockroaches. Speaking of dying, it was at this point that Anker died. For the first time, ever. YHC was mildly annoyed but assumed there was a good reason–Anker has been so faithful, ever stalwart even in the midst of criticism, adversity, and overuse. We switched to the phone speaker instead, but YHC would have to look into any underlying issues once we got home.
    This was followed by a Yrevocer Pal (recovery lap running backward), which was a fun way to work dem quads while being distracted by the fear of breaking a bone or two.

    Thang 3:
    We hopped up onto the stage and grabbed some brick for 10 Step-up Merkins–starting in plank position, step up with both hands, irkin, step back down, merkin = 1.
    This was followed by 12 Freak Nasties (dips, 4-count IC), which were a tough follow-up to the step-ups.
    After this, YHC couldn’t skip the opportunity to do push us and keep to the theme with 10 Pu-pets Nikrems (backward Step-Up Merkins). Starting in plank position facing away from the bricks, step each foot up on the bricks, perform a derkin, step back down, merkin = 1. These were something. I was just glad there were no broken toes or noses. Though, we may see these again.
    Another 12 IC Freak Nasties rounded us out and left our arms unable to bend at the elbow anymore without great effort.

    Thang 4:
    The phone speaker did its best to push out another tune, this one a traditional Irish song about the St. Stephen’s Day (Dec. 26) tradition of killing a wren and going from house to house singing to collect money and trinkets (and drinks) for the wren’s funeral. “The Wren in the Furze” by The Chieftains (look it up, it’s a fun song). PAX did Imperial Squat Walkers for the duration, the triceps being the surprising factor (elbows bent, hands behind the head after the previous exercises).

    Finished with 8MOM (8 minutes of Mary) focused on obliques, just cuz, and COT. Yankee prayed us out, grateful for no rain and solid brotherhood. ISI followed–definitely seeing some real progress!

    An update on Anker:
    Upon arriving home, YHC went to plug the charging cable into the port, but noticed that it didn’t fit as smoothly, and the red light of life flickered just once and then no more. After deeper inspection, it became clear that Anker’s time in mission territory amongst the savage natives in YHC’s home had exposed him to some rough handling particularly in the area of the charging port. Because he never complained, YHC had no idea, and he just quietly, faithfully poured himself out to the very end, knowing that he’d never again be able to receive the rejuvenating gift of life from the wall outlet. His last breath was spent doing what he loved most–serving the men of the Thibodaux PAX. He was the original, and he remained humble, faithful, obedient, and capable of pushing quality sound (well enough) through all the arrogant, noisy competitors who came along with something to prove. From Thibodaux Regional to JBL, Bose’, and BAPS, Anker never lost composure and so remained the Anchor of this community. And he will never be forgotten.
    YHC thought about carefully taking him apart to try to replace the port, but to be honest, it wasn’t all that expensive, and I just didn’t feel like it.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Y’allTide Christmas Party – from Lil Cuz

    It was a week before Christmas and all around the Stage, pax gathered for a VQ, some were excited while others were anticipating a History of Lockport theme beatdown. YHC had other plans and felt like a Christmas Party was more in order with a suddenly and uncharacteristically cold Louisiana December morning approached this close to Christmas.
    We started with what quickly became a crowd favorite from another recent VQ (Thanks GOATs for the great idea!) but with one little Christmas change.

    “THE GRINCH” – Play off of Leeroy Jenkins – If any one yells “THE GRINCH” all Pax must sprint to the nearest tree or bush and run back to scare him off from stealing Christmas.
    With the theme laid out and the hidden mini game introduced, the party started albeit with one Pax who had the ever-crucial music and BAPS was running late. My mind went to those lame parties with no music and people just standing around awkwardly waiting to leave and go home.

    Thang 1: Rich Man’s Loop – Christmas Themed Trivia – wrong answer results in 5 Carolina Dry Docks and sprint to next lamp post.

    As we were bout halfway through the Loop I noticed another runner a street away and thought “Man, who is this crazy guy running with us from a distance.” As he approached behind and scared a few Pax, the Music man himself, Yankee Joe, had arrived and the Party was saved. Our next thang was secured and the dancing would begin. No more worries of party goers thinking of an excuse to get home and put their pajamas on.

    Trivia Questions that were asked if anyone wants to ask their families and see if they get better scores than us:

    1. What is the highest grossing Christmas movie of all time?
    a. Home Alone Correct

    2. In “Home Alone”, where are the McCallister’s going on vacation when they leave Kevin behind?
    a. Paris Correct

    3. What is the best-selling Christmas song?
    a. “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby Correct

    4. When do the earliest gingerbread cookie recipes date back to?
    a. 2400 B.C. Incorrect

    5. In what modern-day country was St. Nicholas born in?
    a. Turkey Correct

    6. How many gifts in total were given in “The Twelve Days of Christmas” song?
    a. 364 Incorrect

    7. Three of Santa’s reindeer’s names begin with the letter “D”. What are those names?
    a. Dancer, Dasher, and Donner Correct

    8. What popular Christmas song was actually written for Thanksgiving?
    a. “Jingle Bells” Correct

    9. At what age was St. Nicholas made a Bishop?
    a. 30 years old Incorrect

    10. Name 2 things St. Nicholas is the patron saint of. Incorrect
    a. Sailors
    b. Children
    c. Wolves
    d. Pawnbrokers

    Thang 2: F3 White Elephant – Pax circle up with dice block exercises and the deck of death. Pax select between dice and deck for a random exercise chosen for them by fate. Pax can then either choose to do the exercise or pass it along to another Pax. If passed then you have to choose the other exercise selection method. The chosen pax must complete the exercise while all others do an exercise of YHC’s choosing. Admittedly, YHC ran out of exercises rather quickly and was graciously helped by the circle of Pax. Once the fateful exercise has been completed it moves to the next pax in the circle. We went two rounds as not many were wiling to pass along the harder exercises to others except after Yankee
    decided to slow his pace while the circle was in mission impossible plank. He was promptly paid back by Goose with 20 burpees on his own as our one and only “White Elephant” gift. No others decided to test those waters as it was cold this December morning.

    Thang 3: Louisiana Christmas Sled Race (Wheel Barrel Race): Partner Up for a Wheel Barrel Race across the field and switching barrel on the way back.
    – Punishment for losers are 10 Burpees. Last place adds 5 merkins to burpees. Winner relishes in their breather.

    Congratulations to our Winners!: Yankee Joe And Enron even though Dox and I almost pulled off the upset.

    Last Place was Goose and FencePost with the mumble chatter expected for Losers having a harder punishments.

    10 minutes of Mary to finish this VQ, COT, and Yankee prayed us out.

    F3 has meant a lot to me fellas and I appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you for pushing me harder and making me do things I didn’t expect I can do. I look forward to all future beatdowns and look forward to a day where I too can be #TuesdayTuff.

    SYITG,
    Lil’ Cuz

  • The Chatter Goose: A Lesson in Righteousness – from Yankee Joe

    The important stuff first…

    Major Brat (as always, thank you for your service) had mentioned that he had successfully recruited his brother. At 6:28, there was no sign of him. O brother, where art thou? However, the concern would be misplaced. At 6:29, the brotherly new guy rolled up with blue jeans, sweat pants, hoodie, and a look of skeptical curiosity further raised when the first people to approach him introduced themselves as Goose, Enron, and Yankee Joe. It was then acknowledged that Major had not really told his bro much about F3, which is the way it should be. The FNG would survive the day with undaunted fortitude, never bowing out, and most impressively, not yakking on the beautiful perennial rye grass. He would emerge at the end of the day, rebranded as O’SHEM.

    ———-

    Today was a bit wonky. YHC’s original plan had to be scrapped (it will showcase next Saturday, 12/24) and plan B also ran into logistical challenges. So, at 6:22, as the Pax were arriving, YHC made some significant shifts. 8 Pax repped at the Peltch, which would be perfect for the partnering and teams needed for the morning. The idea was to create a second installment of Paradox’s Turkey Bowl. That…um… did not happen.

    Instead, we would spend the first half of the morning in muscular failure and the second half running a short field Ultimate Burpball game. Or maybe it’s Ultimate Burpee Ball? Ball Burping? Ultimate Burping? Who knows…I’m sure Goose will be MORE than happy to tell you. MORE on that in a moment.

    ———-

    But first, my dear and loyal reader, I want to discuss something of grave importance, and I want to be clear. There is a sickness settling over F3 Thibodaux. It is a sickness that targets Warmarama instructions and proper cadence execution. It burrows deep into the Pax psyche. It manifests itself in gruesome ways. The sickness is real, and I’ve cited the evidence below (Chicago style because the APA are a bunch of nerds).

    For example, with arm circles, some can’t tell the difference between forward and backward (Paradox, 2022). Others don’t even know the difference between arm circles and windmills (YHC, 2022). Still others make singular words like “position” or “cadence” plural and for no good reason (Montana & Goats, 2022). Even when an exercise is successfully communicated, (2.0 eye muffs, please) the actual cadence resembles something like the moment Ace Ventura figures out that Finkle is Einhorn…and of course, Einhorn is Finkle (see Enron et al. 2022). Seven count flutter kicks, 42-count imperial walkers (YHC, 2022), side straddle hops at Mach 2 (Lil’ Cuz, Fence Post & Superfun(d), 2022). Some simply modify every single warmup exercise as they see fit (Cardinal, 2022). It doesn’t end.

    How did this happen?

    When there’s Pax sickness, only one remedy exists. Now hold on a moment. I know what you’re thinking and that remedy is not Paradox’s wife, who, by the way, is a doctor. Paradox is married to a doctor. How cool is that? An actual doctor living in his house. To date, YHC is unclear what Paradox does for a living, but hey, does it really matter? He’s set…his wife is a… DOCTOR!

    No, my friends, the only cure for this type of sickness is a Goose. A big, head tilting, eyebrow raising, low talking Goose. You KNOW the look I’m talking about. The little smirk, saying, “oh, it’s something.” He knows we have gone astray; that we’ve forgotten our roots. He understands all too well that to screw up an Exicon name here, or a cadence rhythm there is a very slippery levy. It could lead to chaos. The next thing you know, we’ll be doing drugs, listening to rock & roll, and dancing. Worst of all, we may abandon our truth to erect a golden icon of Greg Glassman.

    Enough is enough. You schism makers, you modifiers, you fartsackers. You hate the cold. You fear the gloom. Has not Goose shown us the way? Turn not from his tilted head and raised eyebrows. He speaks only truth, and he speaks it…constantly. O, ye of little pecks, look to Proverbs 12:15.

    “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”

    YHC would try to execute the Warmarama in a way that would impress the Pax, follow guidelines, and please Goose.

    Well, I can confidently report that…they weren’t, it didn’t, and he wasn’t.

    ———–

    Warmarama

    YHC: “Ok, it’s 6:30. Side strad…”
    Goose: “Hold on, hold on. Disclaimer for the FNG.”
    (partial and likely misleading disclaimer delivered)

    YHC: “Side Straddle Hops, 1, 2, 3…”
    Goose: “You can’t just go.”
    YHC: “Ok, ok. Position, movements…”
    Goose: “What are you doing?”
    YHC: “Ughhhhh. I don’t even know…”
    (YHC bent over between his knees, then throws Montana under the bus…the pax seems to be in agreement)

    YHC: (finishes warm-up and goes to pick up cones five feet away)
    Goose: (calls an audible and leads the Pax in self love without YHC in the circle)
    YHC: (oh no you didn’t…switches to Plan Freakin’ C)
    YHC: “Self love can’t save you now.”

    __________

    THANG 1: Lazy Seepurb’s (variation of Lazy Dora’s via reverse deconstructed Burpees…get it?)

    Round 1

    Partner 1 – 25 merkins while Partner 2 holds mission impossible plank
    Repeat sets of 25 until 200 (100 ea. per partner)

    Goose head tilt, eyebrow raise to Enron. Enron asked for clarity around the number, 200. It’s cool. I’m coming and Hell’s coming with me. YHC articulated the concept of “Seegah,” which is the noise one makes when attempting to do a merkin, but is only capable of completing a half merkin. Because let’s face it. A second set of 25 merkins following 45 seconds of a mission impossible plank is friggin’ seegah.

    Bear crawl to station #2

    __________

    Round 2

    YHC: “Ok, next set, 25 leg thrusters, which loo….”
    Goose: “Groiners.”
    YHC: “What?”
    Goose: “Those are groiners.”
    YHC: “The IPC Greenwood folks called them leg thrusters.”
    Goose: “They’re wrong.”
    YHC: “Ok, next set – 25 groin thrusters.” (because I’m a mature adult and I DO WHAT I WANT)
    YHC: “Partner 2 holds a low plank unt…”
    Goose: “Elbow plank, but whatever, it’s fi…”
    YHC: “ELBOW PLANK UNTIL YOUR PARTNER IS DONE.”

    Partner 1 – 25 GROINERS; P2 holds ELBOW plank
    Repeat sets of 25 until 200 (100 ea. per partner)
    Crab walk to station #3

    __________

    Round 3

    YHC: “Next, 25 squat jumps, while P2 holds Al Gore.”
    YHC: (Waits for any honking. No honking provided. YHC moves on.)

    Partner 1 – 25 squat jumps; P2 holds al gores
    Repeat sets of 25 until 200 (100 ea. Per partner)

    YHC calls audible that after the first set of 25 squat jumps, three more sets of 10 instead of 25. By this point, most Pax weren’t even getting off the ground.

    __________

    THANG 2: Ultimate Burpball/Burpee Football (ask Goose)

    Ultimate frisbee rules…ish. Coyote and Pope chose teams. Five burpees for a turnover. For touchdowns, the scoring team did five burpees, the opposing team did 10. The amount of burpees for turnovers had to be reduced because by the time the five burpees had been completed, the other team had already scored, which meant 10 more burpees on top of the five. We changed rules for scoring such as the amount of passes needed (i.e. four, then 10).

    The game made movement constant and burpees began to quickly add up (unless you were Coyote). It was nowhere even close to the brilliance of Paradox’s Turkey Bowl, so we’ll let the commish run that show with Enron and Wet Tap moving forward.

    That said, I would be remiss not to highlight the ridiculous skills of Coyote and Pope. Coyote was seemingly everywhere all the time. He would sneak through colliding boulders of middle age to emerge on the sideline, streaking toward the end zone, no defender in sight. No matter where you threw the ball, ‘Yote would catch it…back shoulder, overhead in stride, at his ankles, you name it. Soft hands and scary speed. Pope on the other hand was a relentless force on both sides of the ball. More than once, he hard core stuffed Father Goose in mid-throw. Other times, he traversed the width of the field to show the bright eyed would-be receiver what it felt like to have Marshon Lattimore get up in your grill. Throughout the contest, Goose was relatively quiet, undoubtedly deep in thought about how he kept dropping passes.

    __________

    Mary to the Core

    – J-Lo’s 2:1 x 15
    – Flutter kicks 4:1 x 20
    – Supermans x 20
    – Star V-ups (reverse supermans) x 10
    – J-Lo Pickle Gobblers x 20
    – Blast offs (from standing, 10-count down to deep squat, squat jump on “blast off”)

    Mosey back to flag, COT, and Lil’ Cuz prayed us out.

    Gents, I loved today. The work, the chatter, the athleticism, and the camaraderie make every Q super humbling and a heck of a lot of fun. O’SHEM, we were honored to have you today. We hope you will come join the beautiful chaos.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe

    __________

    P.S. The correct cadence sequence is below. Read it, review it, memorize it, execute it.

    Proper Cadence Sequence:

    “The next exercise is…” [pause] “Side Straddle Hop!” (or name of other exercise)

    “Starting Position…” [pause] “Move!”

    “In Cadence…” [pause] “Exercise!” (begin count 1..2..3)

  • The beatdown to Bethlehem – from Enron

    After Tuesday’s (#tuesdaytuff) cardio heavy beatdown, YHC was ready for some slower, heavier movements, or just not ready for any more cardio. It seemed to be the perfect timing for a themed beatdown that had been drawn up the night prior with the help of a much more creative wife. The stage was set as YHC pulled up to a much familiar look of a minivan awaiting the arrival of more PAX. Yankee Joe was ready as usual. As 4 more PAX arrived in the gloom, we had plenty of pre-thang time to discuss the many schisms that have been dividing the Thibodaux PAX for decades, OK, well maybe just the past 6 months. This mumble chatter did not slow down as the warmups began, and YHC decided it would be a good time to test his newly acquired (thanks Goose) pre-cadence call. This did not go over well with about half of the group while the other half took it in stride, hence the building of a divide. We quickly learned, or were directed to, who was the leader of pre-mentioned schisms. The usually ultra-quiet and very reserved in his words, Paradox, has decided to form groups on each side… again. Goose, in all his wisdom, informed us that Cardinal (on IR) also enjoy the great divides of this PAX, but is a “seeker of truth” and is always looking for the “correct” side to be on. Although, JBL, #whoopteam, “starting position, in cadence, ready position move” (or however it goes), #Tuesdaytuff (ok twice is enough); will always be the right side.

    Warmup with waaaay too much chatter in between, to where YHC had no idea what number we were on:

    SSH, AC, Cherry Pickers, Windmills, Grass Grabbers, Self-Love, IW, bumper mosey

    The Thang: Journey to Bethlehem

    After reading an extensive amount of information on many different Christmas topics, a theme was finally coming to light. We tend to read in the Bible the journey to Bethlehem every year but how often is it discussed just how dangerous and difficult that journey had to be. The trip was approximately 90 miles between Nazareth and Bethlehem that would have taken place most likely over 10 days (leaving December 15th to be perfect for the beatdown). A pregnant Mary, and husband Joseph traveled all of this distance, outside, while moving through the Jordan river, through the hills of Jerusalem, and battling animals, potential sickness, and weather the entire time. This is how the following was developed.

    We picked up coupons and moseyed to the beginning of rich mans loop, where approximately 15 light poles are spaced about 40 yards apart.

    YHC instructed the PAX that there would be 3 alternating methods of carrying the coupon between the poles as follows:

    Mary- carry at stomach height, as if pregnant
    Joseph- On the shoulder, as if carrying wineskins filled with water
    Donkey – Rifle carry as if you were the donkey and carrying Mary

    Each light post would have a “hazard” of which Mary and Joseph could have encountered that included an exercise. Most exercises were performed OYO except for a couple. The following were performed at each light pole with the alternating carry methods (Mary, Joseph, Donkey) in between. The slower carry between had plenty of time to discuss just how tuff #tuesdaytuff (last time) was, especially without Paradox.

    Light Pole “obstacles/hazards”:
    Walk through the Jordan River – 10 Bonnie Blairs (the hard way)
    Climb the hills outside Jerusalem – 20 Mountain climbers – in cadence
    Tame your donkey – 10 Jack ass Webbs- this was a burpee but with a donkey kick during the thruster
    Be strong enough to fight off animals #1 – 25 Merkins
    Sleep on your back on the ground – 25 coupon presses
    Lift Mary on the donkey – 30 squats (no coupon)
    Fight off more animals – 30 coupon curls
    Carry the water overhead – 15 OHP
    Outrun the animals – Sprint with coupon
    Move through the jungle/heavily forested Jordan Valley – 15 Jungle Boy Squats
    Wear your big boy pants – 20 Big Boys
    Battle Sickness – 15 Burpees
    Hold the weight of the world on your shoulders – 10 Perfect Merkins
    Give God the glory – 25 Heals to Heaven
    Turned away at the Inn – Run to next light pole (this light pole was out making the reference perfect)
    Have baby Jesus! – 50 LBCs

    Thang 2: Song
    “Jingle Bell Rock” – Hold Al Gore for duration and squat on Jingle
    This made the PAX looks like whack-a-mole moles with how many “jingles” there were and how uncoordinated we can look at times.

    2 minutes of Mary with Freddie Mercury’s and Penguins

    COT and Goose prayed us out. Thanks for the laughs to go along with this one. I hate to admit it but the mumble chatter only added to the fun. As always, enjoyed being in the gloom with these guys.

  • Superfun(d)elight – from Goose

    After Tana’s block-buster 13 Days of/till Christmas yesterday, YHC knew we needed to take it easy on the big, heavy movements, which usually translates into a lot more running. Per usual, YHC didn’t think this one would be a memory maker, but was happy to be proven wrong.
    Warmups of the usual with the addition of some Hairy Rockettes (straight leg out to opposite hand extended off to one side, then switch to the other) to loosen up the hammies. As expected, Enron executed these with poise and precision. Yankee Joe shared some unusually deep knowledge about life as a real Rockette, which threatened to throw YHC into a rabbit hole of questions, but I held strong and the first Thang was explained:

    To Superfun(d)’s delight we started with a Merkin Mile, which reminded him of his first beatdown, the IPC titled “Death by Skinny Runner”. The fact that he’s still coming after that first experience remains one F3 Thibodaux’s unsolved mysteries, and PAX’s admiration for that superhuman resolve runs deep!
    A Merkin Mile is a mile with stops for 25 merkins every quarter mile. YHC used the Runkeeper app, one of many that will audibly tell you when you’ve reached certain distances, times, etc. A pre-beatdown toilet visit provided YHC the opportunity for tinkering with the app, which revealed the option for the voice to be changed to “Boston fan” among others. So, in honor of Yankee Joe, I chose that one, and it did not disappoint. (It started by telling us to “Put on ya big girl pants, and lets get that heart (“haht”) rate up!”). The first 25 merkins weren’t too bad, but the last three were much harder than the PAX expected–I remembered being surprised by this one when I first did it on the Northshore, but truth be told, stacking up sets of 25 merkins is no joke.

    The next Thang would provide no escape from having to traverse long distances. (Sorry, Superfun(d)!)()( We slow moseyed (walked) to the stop sign over toward the bumper for a nice, long set of 11’s. We started in the grass there with 10 squats and then caricoa’ed the length of the parking lot (in the grass) to the other end and did 1 merkin before nurring (running backward) back to the start. Then, rinse and repeat with 9 squats and 2 merkins all the way to 1 squat and 10 merkins.
    As the reader may be picturing, the squats and merkins were very much the only chance to rest. That’s a long way to carioca and nur, and after just 1 or 2 rounds, each of the PAX silently vowed to never allow YHC to Q again. But, for the next 25 minutes there was no escape. So, the only thing left to do was embrace the suck, which these guys did admirably. Yankee Joe stayed with YHC the entire time, which was greatly appreciated. There’s nothing worse than being completely winded all by yourself. Thanks to YJ, YHC had no excuse to take breaks or slow up, and YJ even had enough in him to push YHC’s competition button at the end by nurring backward at top speed with total disregard for that pipe that was sticking up out of the ground. Also, T-claps to Superfun(d) who could’ve easily stopped a round early but refused to take the out.

    Slow moseyed back to the flag with a minute left, did some Freddy-Tana’s to get us to 6:15, and then COT and Superfun(d) prayed us out. Thanks for coming out on a Tuesday morning, fellas, and not wasting a beatdown! The pain and fatigue would be far less meaningful without you!

    SYTIG,
    Goose

  • 12…(13) Days of F3 Christmas – from Wiford Montana

    The pax coming off a strong performance at the peltch on saturday assembled for my 3rd que. This Monday was extra gloomy with fog and humidity rivaling that of mid July. 5:30 hit and we began with only what could be described as “hot garbage” of a cadence. Any confidence from que 2 was flushed like a goose post beatdown “thruster.” We had the usual stuff ending on a bumper mosey but I will be going back to the warm up tutorial video for my next que for sure.
    The Thang was the 12 days of F3 Christmas
    Day 1: lap around the stage track
    Day 2: burpees
    Day 3: merkins
    Day 4: Man Makers
    Day 5: Lunges
    Day 6: plank jacks
    Day 7: mountain climbers
    Day 8: crowd pleasing “thrusters”
    Day 9: LBCs
    Day 10: squats
    Day 11: SSH
    Day 12: Carolina Dry Docks

    After that 12th time around the track YHC can’t articulate what he felt but he knew no matter the faces the pax wanted……no, needed the Truth! Today gentleman is 13 days until Christmas, so alll thru the house not a creature was stirring when YHC announced day 13: BBS
    After that we had 2 minutes left so we got in 100 flutter kicks and Freddy’s till que failure. As I laid full extension on the ground looking up upon the sky, we counted off circle off and circle of Trust, YJ prayed us out
    #13days #thestage

  • Drug Rep Death March – from Wiford Montana

    Drug reps are an interesting bunch but none the less the drug rep themed que was requested so I felt I had to go for it. Full disclosure there are plenty of drug reps that need to tone it down as are with any profession (doctors included)
    The “usual” Montana warm up with all over the show cadence and timing. Still working on it but we also threw in some seal jacks with a splash of yankee joe sarcasm centered around my lexicon knowledge or lack of it.
    The bumper mosey was welcomed and then we had returned.
    The drug rep death March was here:
    1st round walk thru together so you compare it to your office jobs, friendly faces, water cooler convos, but after that you were on your own! Alone, just you and your hybrid setting out to clinic who probably doesn’t want to see you to talk about things they don’t want to hear. But this my friends is where the magic begins, you go anyway and hope each and every other drug rep believes that garbage and drives on, blows the horn and hits the gym. Today though men we MARCH!!!!!
    The start 10 BBS
    Station 1 : 10 merkins with bear crawl to next station
    Station 2: we’re not worthys, murder bunnies to next station
    Station 3: 10 curls/ overheads lung to final spot and then 10 lbs
    Highlight was the coffee runs called out at random to get the doctors coffee (run to bumper and do 10 jungle boys) T clap to Dox on sending Yankee back a second time cause he got the order wrong, you had one job joe. Also hilarious was cardinal noticing the typical drug rep/ doctor small talk making the patient wait lol . After the first run thru We repeated the track backwards until 6:09

    6 minutes of pot luck Mary:
    Dox called dolphin hops which turned out to be a crowd pleaser!

    Well done gentlemen and actually o do love my job and the awesome healthcare heros I get to meet everyday, but it is fun too laugh about it once and a while

    #the stage, #goose,#paradox,#yankeejoe, #lilCuz, #fencepost, #cardnal, #montana #2ndque

  • Sir Pax-A-Lot – from Yankee Joe

    The power sub-station is down. It could be hours before power is restored. It typically takes me three hours to write a back blast regardless of quality. My laptop has about an hour of battery life remaining. This will be the biggest challenge of my F3 career. Bring it.

    It is final exam week, and I am desperately treading water in an ocean of incompetent student essays, projects, and presentations. With every group presentation, I further doubt my own competence as an instructor. How did I fail them so completely? From this group of poor victims, comes interactions that make every painful moment worthwhile. I offer some real gems below:

    Presentation Q&A Example 1:

    – YHC: In what ways did Covid-19 impact the supply chain logistics within the automobile industry?

    – Student: Great question. To be honest, we can say that the supply chain was totes jacked up. In fact, I’m pretty sure the expression, “off the chain” came from this issue.

    – (YHC Internal Monologue): Well crap, it was indeed totes jacked up. I know this did not spawn the term, “off the chain”…right? I don’t even know what’s real anymore.
    —————–
    Presentation Q&A Example 2:

    – YHC: You mention that customers in China had trust issues with the company’s distribution channels?

    – Student: Totally. The products were all warehoused in the U.K.

    – YHC: Ok. What was the issue with products being warehoused in the U.K.?

    – Student: I mean, it’s a bunch of college students running the company?

    – (YHC Inner Monologue): Oh…oh no. No, no, no…She thinks that “UK” stands for University of Kentucky. Oh God…what do I do? Keep a straight face, keep a straight face. It’s too late for her. I can’t help. This is not the hill.

    – YHC: GO Wildcats!
    ——————
    Presentation Q&A Example 3 (and my absolute favorite so far):

    – YHC: You talk about the challenges of Starbucks entering the Indian market? Why was market entry so difficult?

    – Student: Well, it seems that they didn’t really have the right equipment and gear.

    – YHC: Explain

    – Student: Well, as you know, the northern border of India has the Himalayan Mountains, which make entering the country really hard.

    – YHC: (stares at student)

    Student: (stares at YHC)

    – YHC: (realize that student isn’t kidding)

    – Student: They’re really high mountains.

    – YHC: (long pause) Welp…sounds good to me! Moving on to the next question.
    ——————-
    What does all this have to do with a beatdown? Per usual, it is a very weak connection, but if I am good at anything, it’s forcing a square peg in a round hole. I use Backblasts for cathartic journaling as much as…well that’s it actually. Does anyone really read these things? If yes, post your favorite meme from The Office.

    7 Pax at the Stage. It’s been awesome as of late. The addition of Fence Post has raised the bar and the regs keep it consistent. Montana’s newly styled Sumo bun is looking on purnt! It was 43 degrees. As mentioned in prior blasts, YHC is not a tough guy when it comes to cold. The wind was blowing. I, with my tights and hooded sweatshirt felt very weak next to Enron in his shorts and short sleeves.
    —————-
    Warmarama
    – SSH – 30 ct until YHC felt some blood moving
    – Windmills that YHC thought were arm circles
    – Grass Grabbers w/ the Clap so YHC could feel like the NOLA PAX
    – Finally, real arm circles, but YHC forgot to call out the exercises
    – Some high knees, some Derricks…maybe (taken from the now famous Enron Re-VQ)
    – And a Mosie

    (now that I’m writing it down, it was pretty much the worst Warmarama since Montana)
    —————-
    ON to the Thangs…No real theme except that YHC misses IPC like the deserts miss the rain.

    The Beatdown: Sir Pax-A-Lot (three-part thang)

    AKA: 30-60’s – 20-40’s – 30-60’s (You’d get it if you had it goin’ like a turbo ‘Vette.)
    —————
    Set up:
    cones in a square of 20-yard sides. PAX moves starts at the lower left corner, then moves to the upper left corner, then diagonally to the lower right corner, then to the top right corner, finally diagonally to the lower left corner.
    ——————
    Round 1: 30 – 60 (transport – bear crawl)
    – 30 merkins
    – 60 arm raises
    – 30 Carolina dry docks
    – 60 seal jacks
    – 400 m run
    ———————-
    Round 2: 20 – 40 (transport – lunge walks)
    – 20 leg thrusters
    – 40 prisoner squats
    – 20 Bonnie Blair’s the hard way 2:1
    – 40 side to sides 1:1
    – 400 m run

    **the Bonnie B’s following the lunges, following the prisoner squats, following the leg thrusters suuuuuucked!
    ———————–
    Round 3: 30 – 60 (transport – crab walk)

    The subordina…er, I mean, chatter really picked up here. Goose had “so many questions” and Cardinal kindly reminded YHC that only 12 minutes remained. Montana announced 4:1 flutters equaled 120 (all by hisself too!). Enron questioned the exercise in general, forgetting the vendetta YHC had on he and Goose from a couple weeks ago…nobody can remember about what though.

    – 30 flutters 4:1
    – 60 low plank leg lifts 1:1
    – 30 Poppin Dollys (hello dolly followed by 90 degree leg lift)
    – 60 J-lo pickle gobblers 1:1 (J-Lo then two pickle pounders = 4 ct)
    – 400 m run

    ** I still can’t figure out how Cardinal so effortlessly glides through a crabwalk. YHC tried to keep up, which resulted in a muddy backside. I think he’s tired of hearing about it. Seriously, just let a playa’ play.
    ———————-
    Not Mary

    – We did something…whatevs…this ain’t even my whole day
    – Lastly, we did three level push-ups (up à quarter merkin hold, up à half merkin hold, up à full merkin hold; same thing down, BUT no hold at the bottom, which was a huge missed opportunity. That said, Enron was doing the wide arm mission impossible to hold the WHOLE DANG time at the bottom. I was very impressed…Enron was very pissed. My B.

    COT

    Goose prayed us out.

    Not my best work fellas, but I appreciate you powering through and raising the bar with every beatdown.

    Ooohh…the power just came on. Time to hear more inspiring presentations.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe

  • VQ Redo – from Enron

    Recently having to miss the last two reportedly epic beatdowns around Thanksgiving, including the highly contested Turkey bowl, YHC was ready to get back to action. Lately the Thibodaux PAX have had quite a few VQs including Wilford Montana, Goats in the Machine, and a report of an upcoming Lil’ Cuz VQ. YHC was reminiscing on his own first. In review of the laminated sheet (yes there was at least some prep), it was established that the new(er) PAX have been much more impressive in their creativity, preparation, understanding of timing of when exercises should be completed, understanding of generally how this should work, etc.… The thought blossomed to re-create the VQ for a replay to show how far we have come.
    Pulling up in the gloom to the empty parking lot at 5:25, the stage was set. As it turns out, YHCs original VQ ended up being a solo beatdown, meaning no one actually showed up. Therefore, the true VQ had to be rescheduled to a time where one other PAX was in attendance via an EH at 6:15 the morning of, on a brother-in-law, Headcheese. 6:30 rolled around and the stage remained empty of other attendees. Still confident of a late, and somewhat usual arrival of Goats, solo side straddle hops began the warmup. Just as these were completed, the headlights of not one, but two speeding minivans stormed on the scene. The minivan brigade barreled in the parking lot revealing Goats and Yankee Joe in perfect fashion to bring back memories of the VQ. After some mumble chatter on 2.0s and other reasons for the late arrival the explanation of what was coming began.
    YHC described the tale from his VQ and how in reading back through the beatdown and the realization of just how utterly stupid it was, it was perfect for a replay. The full intent of this was to demonstrate how impressive the recent VQ activities have been.
    PAX: Enron, Yankee Joe, Goats in the Machine

    Warmup:
    Abe Vigoda’s
    SSH (again for the late arrivals)
    Derrick’s – The stupidity of why these were ever placed into a warmup we will never know. Although, Yankee Joe seemed to enjoy the difficulty of them so early in the beatdown
    Nolan Ryans – Why would you put these in the warmup? You may ask. – because it’s a VQ and YHC didn’t know what he was doing
    Alarm Clocks – First on the Lexicon so naturally had to throw these in
    Bumper mosey

    Thang 1:
    “Yeah” by Joe Nicholls – played on only an iPhone, to bring back the simplicity of times before the infamous Thibodaux speaker debacle. JBL Proud®©™
    Plank for the duration
    Plank jack on “Yeah”
    Mountain climber on “She”

    Thang 2:
    The Cindy Crawford (for the perfect beach body)
    In each corner and then the middle of the stage, mosey between stations – 4 rounds of the following were completed:
    5- Merkins
    10- Moroccan Night clubs – why? You may ask – because it was a VQ and YHC didn’t know what they were
    15- Squats
    20- LBCs
    25- Calf Raises (or toe raises as they were strangely titled on the previously mentioned laminated page)

    Thang 3: Deck of Death
    It wouldn’t be an Enron Q without the DoD, although the VQ came before YHC had access to the F3 deck. Each PAX drew approximately 6-8 cards each from a regular deck of cards until it was 6:10
    Hearts: Merkins with face cards being hand release merkins
    Clubs: Squats with face cards being jump squats
    Diamonds: LBCs with face cards being Big boy sit-ups
    Spades: Burpees with face cards being SSHs
    Aces: bear crawl to end of field (30 yards) – mosey back

    Mary:
    Freddie Mercury’s
    Arm Circles – Why are we doing a warmup at the end? You may ask. Because it was a VQ and YHC didn’t know what he was doing
    Abe Vigoda- Why are we doing a warmup at the end? You may ask. Because it was a VQ and YHC didn’t know what he was doing
    Heals to Heaven
    Mountain Climbers

    COT and prayed us out. Thanks, guys, for the laughs to go along with this one, it was a nice way to ease back into it after the holiday.

  • The Turkey Bowl – from Paradox

    11/26/22 7:29 am EDW Stadium

    A youth sized Wilson football leaves the rocket launcher surgically enhanced shoulder of legendary quarterback Yankee Joe Montana. The game clock strikes 0:00 and the scoreboard is locked in a dead heat 0-0, the leather-bound vessel elevates in a tight spiral and cuts through the gloom of a misty bayou morning. A bird chirps. Fresh biscuits fill the air. It reaches the peak of its flight and underneath, each PAX fight for real estate to find its landing place. Its destination is a streaking Superfun(d) who has battled through the Yellow Team defense and found wide open spaces in the endzone. Time stands still, the fate of the F3 Turkey Bowl hangs in the balance….

    18 hours earlier…

    Text Thread
    YHC: F3 Turkey Bowl tomorrow, I’ll get flags. Can you bring an an American football?
    Yankee Breaux: Yea, going to Wally today to get black Friday deals on Icy Hot. What size, Junior?
    YHC: You bet. I can throw it clean over those mountains.

    14 hours earlier…
    Group Text with Tana and Yankee
    YHC: Check out this F3 turkey bowl jersey prototype (beaming with pride as YHC attaches pic of PDOX jersey I’d been stenciling for hours)
    Tana: Bro.. I’m gonna shoot you strait …that looks like it says POOX
    Yankee…..
    Tana:….
    YHC: No turning back, see yall in the morning. (*Googles Bible verses on Humility)

    6:00am YHC and Yankee setting up cones and feeling low expectations about turn out
    YHC : Can you play flag football with three people?
    Yankee: Who is the third? Tana had a few high APV brews yesterday, hes atleast 50/50
    YHC: Man , Goose is never gonna let me Q the special holidays again. Oh well it was a good run.

    6:29 am YHC and Yankee share a “yea this is gonna be awesome” nod as 10 PAX and one 2.0 FNG pour in from all corners to the Peltch gravel lot. The call of gridiron glory had not gone unanswered. Major Brat rolling in for his second beatdown! T Claps!. andddd a really special Welcome Back Kotter moment as Gordon strolled in with a fresh homemade F3 jersey and a twinkle in his eye. We got rolling with some standard warmups with somewhat proper cadence.

    THANG 1 WARMUP
    PAX Indian run with last man dropping off to do 5 Football Thrusters (thrusters holding a football, don’t overthink it) then runs to lateral pass the ball to the last man in the Indian run. If ball dropped we would suffer 5 burpees as a PAX. It took Cardinal approximately 3 microseconds to spot the morality loophole. “What if they drop it and nobody sees them?”. To YHCs knowledge there were only crisp albeit somewhat short passes and we made it to the EDW stadium with legs activated.

    Mosey to the Center Cards logo after an impromptu cone shuttle run.

    WarmUp Song
    “Are you ready for some Football?”…No not the one your thinking , sorry . I left Hank Williams Jr at home. We did Zombie Walks on the song with Burpees on “Football” to this version created by …checks notes….Mr. Lewis and D.O Dubb feat Dub Ruffin. You might want to google this one because its pure poetry.

    Mosey back to the endzone with a lateral cone shuttle run

    YHC had PAX line up shoulder to shoulder
    On Q call we passed the ball side to side
    On Down hold Al Gore, On Set we chopped feet, Then YHC blew the coach whistle and whoever had the ball got to call a PAX to go out for a pass. If caught 10 SSH, if dropped 5 burpees. PAX faired well here once in a rhythm. Gave everyone a chance to see what talents would be showcased in todays Main Event…

    Thang 2 The TURKEY BOWL
    Divide PAX by 1s and 2s and pass out yellow and blue flags
    BLUE TEAM: Montana, YJ, Cardinal, SuperFun(d), Wet Tap
    YELLOW TEAM: YHC, Major Brat, Lil Cuz, Paradiddle, Gordon

    The Rules were simple enough. Each possession starts on the 50. You get 4 downs, no first downs. PAX hold al gore in offensive huddle while PAX hold plank in defense huddle. Any turnover (on downs, interception, fumble) results in 10 burpees for offense and 10 SSH for defense. A touch down results in 10 burpees for defense and 10 SSH for offense.
    Yellow team took the first offensive possession after winning the toss and a lengthy explanation of an alien football backspin concept that must be a “down the bayou” thing. (still don’t get it)

    Yellow team with a turnover on downs to start after a failed flea flicker. Lil Cuz establishing himself as a field general early. Blue team started a steady drive and it looked like we would continue a Saturday tradition of watching Wet Tap do athletic things we usually only see on TV. Blue was threatening an early score leaning heavy on Taps speed and Tanas relentless trash talk.
    …That’s when Gordon decided enough is enough. As Tap was streaking for what looked like an inevitable score Gordon met him head on to force out of bounds. Unstoppable object..immovable force..we’ve heard this song before! Some bystanders say you could actually here the moment that Taps ear cartilage gave way. When the dust settled Team blue ate 10 more burpees and with blood in the water Team Yellow had the big Mo swing.

    HIGHLIGHTS
    -Paradiddle kept a great attitude despite not know much football lingo
    -Montana is light on his feet and has perfected the Lebron Crab dribble. Don’t let him get in open space.
    -Gordon with a contested 2 foot drag interception and we still are waiting on booth review
    -Legends continue to grow but pretty sure Wet Tap wasn’t allowed a vehicle as a teenager and just had to run to places. He was never late.

    We traded blows for the next few possessions but remained a tight defensive slobber knocker. YHC checked the applewatch game clock and gave blue team the 60 second warning. This would be the final drive…

    7:30am EDW Field Endzone
    The junior size Wilson descends on its path into the EDW endzone and finds SuperFun(d) ready to cradle it like a newborn baby. Crowd noises overtakes the scene as our perception returns to real time.
    The inaugural F3 Thibodaux Turkey Bowl had its victor. Blue team in Hail Mary Fashion!!

    Defensive MVP- Gordon
    Offensive MVP- SuperFun(d)

    Wrapped up on the field with our now traditional PAX clean up then mosey back to the flag.

    Welcome Lil Cuz’s FNG 2.0 –Pikachu!

    COT and Cardinal Prayed Us out

    Thanks for the opportunity to lead.
    Lots of great ideas for this one going forward and I think the Bowl series will be a staple.

    SYITG

    Pdox (POO-X 4 Lyfe)