Tag: Wilford Montana

  • DJ DOD volume 3: Fat Tuesday Tuff – from Paradox

    A good beatdown can originate from many sources. Some days we sharpen iron, others we honor feasts. Sometimes a theme may be in order or maybe just a hodgepodge of track induced pain (yea Goose , we still salty).
    A few days ago after YHCc’s 3rd lifetime Mardi Gras parade, so many F3 worthy songs were heard that there remained only one course of action. A text to my DJ DOD counter part that it was time for volume 3. The supply of Mardi Gras jamz was high and the pax demand for fun on Fat Tuesday even higher. If only we had a professor of marketing (who is also a self proclaimed traditional NOLA Mardi Gras expert ) to guide us. Well maybe one day, I guess it’s next man up. So we dusted off the deck of death and two north La rednecks shouldered the burden of what became Fat Tuesday Tuff.
    Pit Boss Ronnie set the tone early with a pair of seizure shades and several parade props to distribute amongst the Pax. 4 more pax saddled up and we let the good times roll! ( it’s a traditional Nola greeting , look it up )

    Duke ! Get the bean footage!

    Warmup
    Ronnie led standard warmup
    While YHCc was adding increasing burpees between each warmup. Goose saw the tactic immediately and looked like he smelled a dead animal carcass in the bayou while Cuz begged for more than 1 each round because he wore his scuba shorts for extra sweat.

    The Twerkin Mile
    A twist on a TT classic to get the core fully activated.
    Standard Merkin mile course with four stops for :
    20 leg raises
    40 big boys
    60 gas pumps
    80 flutter kicks (2:1)

    This is where the chatter picked up and we were introduced to an entire new segment called the Tana Tumbler. Here’s how it works . During a group run you introduce a topic to Tana and he will run with it while introducing new topics on top of it until we are all in stitches. In this very manner we covered Scientology , The great hot sauce debate, what the Superman move actually means and even post BD he couldn’t be stopped and gave us a history of pre-ATT devices. We have our beatdown fact checkers working overtime and will give a full report on percent accuracy of the Tana Tumbler claims.

    Back to the flag for some DJ DOD

    Song #1
    Mardi Gras Day
    Boat hold into Superman on all “mardi gras days”
    YHCc kept feeling like a beached whale and in retrospect we might need to do this in the grass or maybe never again.

    DOD
    Special Mardi gras edition
    Ronnie will throw the cards up in the air and if you catch multiple you get to pick which exercise .

    Goose started with a great strategy to “breadbasket “ the cards and gifted us 100 calf raises
    Wet Tap gave us 14 Carolina dry docks and several excuses as to why he wasn’t a wide receiver.

    Song 2
    YHCc stressed again that we would stick to Traditional NOLA Mardi Gras music so we went for an old timer classic…
    Silentos “Whip and Nae Nae “ -hold plank
    Whip -merkins
    Nae Nae -side reach
    Stanky leg -lift leg
    Break yo leg – MC

    Still not sure I wanna know what a Superman is.

    DOD
    Tana brought us 9 ranger merkins and Cuz caught some high flutter kicks that were particularly nasty .

    Song 3
    Saints go marching in
    Bearcrawl /crawlBear to first picnic table
    Dolphin hop on Saints
    Silence followed by grumbling, ahhhh sweet music to my ears.

    DOD
    YHCc caught zero cards , blamed the wind and we did 60 2 is 1 Freddy mercuries. Lil Cuz has not fully learned to translate YHCc’s slurred speech and began to dutifully pound out 60 Freddy Merkins. Love that attitude cuz. Bonus Merkins with a smile will always get T claps at F3 thib.

    Ronnie was last, caught two cards with his hands and one on with his chest sweat (like a real man) and we rounded out with 20 low and slow squats.

    Song 4
    Carnival Time Finisher
    Burpees on carnival , SSH on rest

    COT and Wet Tap prayed us out .

    Had an absolute blast out there in the gloom today fellas. Special thanks to Ronnie for all the props and for willingly looking like a crazy person with me.

    SYITG
    DJ Texaco Cat

  • We Did This to Ourselves – from Yankee Joe

    This past Saturday during Goose’s ‘Ha-quartermile-matata’ beatdown, YHC expected football games and shenanigans in five-yard increments. Instead, he experienced a darkness, nay a hopelessness that hadn’t been seen since Paradox’s “Teamwork Gumbo- Add Burpees to Taste” beatdown back in August.

    Cardinal described the experience perfectly, moving through the range of emotions from hope to confusion to darkness to disgust with Goose to owning the pain. During a similar past experience, Enron had simply asked Goose, “Who hurt you?” Wet Tap provided the pivotal insight we all needed by describing Goose’s rebirth and remaking each spring. The explanation stirs images crossing between that scene in Alien and a large bald bird in the process of molting. In fact, molting simply means shedding old feathers, hair, skin, etc. to make room for growth. I suppose in this case, the hair never grew back.

    It is in this mindset that YHC considered Monday’s beatdown. He was very fortunate to have his cousin, Mullet, DR’ing from The Branch AO in Houston, so of course, the pressure was on. With 60 degrees and nine PAX, we delved into some over-active recovery mixed with some festive tunes to celebrate Mardi Gras and the onset of the Lenten season.

    ————————————–
    Waramarama was normal in both exercises and YHC’s odd struggle with remembering the order of cadence. This only opened a huge, massive, enormous door for Paradox and Enron mumblechatter. Like sharks to blood in the water. No mercy.

    We covered a lot of ground, the most important of which included deep wisdom from Homer. No, not that Homer. Homer HIgh School…Alma Mater of our very own Paradox…home of the mighty Pelicans and the recipients of an impressive Google review of 3.4 out of 5.0 on their website. It’s nice Clark. Real niiice. (I’m not even sure he went there, but who cares, right?)

    We finished with throw me somethin’ mistas and after watching Montana’s shimmying, YHC was forced to accept that the beatdown was already off the rails. The rest of the mernin’ would run in similar fashion. Like a middle school boy, who during the first hour of an 8-hour field trip, tried to be funny and rip ass on one of his friends. However, he got far more than he bargained for. There are no bathrooms to be found on a bluebird school bus. There are no bathrooms to be found at Lake Kissimmee State Park visiting the pioneer cabins. So all a fourth grade Joe can do is walk bowlegged and hope for the best. YHC has never been caught without doo doo pills for any trip longer than 30 minutes since.

    ———————————-
    Warm-up song – Mardi Gras Mambo
    – Shoulder taps for duration of the song
    – Merkin on “Mardi Gras” and “mambo”
    – 49 merkins

    Mumblechatter decreased significantly, but the PAX’ confidence was still a bit too high. Based on some observations from this past Saturday, YHC saw things that he couldn’t unsee. What was so repulsive? GABF or Generally Accepted Burpee Form. We needed to get back to basics, so we deconstructed the burpee mechanics. YHC felt something sting on the back of his neck…was it Cardinal staring daggers?

    Thang 1: Breaking The Pax Down
    Deconstructed burpees (55 squats; 55 groiners; 55 merks, 100 yds bearcrawl)

    – 10 squats
    – 10 groiners
    – 10 merkins
    – Bear crawl to next marker
    (Decrease by 1 each rep until 1 each)
    – Finish with 10 burpees

    ———————————–
    The problem according to Goose – as he told YHC this past Saturday – is that “you’re weak.” Maybe even lazy. The only way to fix this affliction is through our good friend, Dora. To be honest, she’s a bit of a hack. Map and Backpack do all the heavy lifting. And now that I think about it, Swiper reminds me of Paradox. Paradox, stop doctoring. Paradox, stop doctoring. YHC asked if there were any questions. Enron responded with something, it was not fully audible. I don’t think it was a shout out.

    Thang 2: Lazy Doras

    Partner up. Partners perform 200 Merkins, 400 squats, & 600 LBCs as a team. Here’s the catch…no running.

    – P1 starts with 20 Merkins while P2 elbow planks, then switch. Continue switching between Merkins and plank until 100 total Merkins reached.

    – P1 does 40 squats, P2 performs Al Gore until P1 is finished, then switch. Continue switching until all 400 squats are completed.

    – P1 does 60 LBCs while P2 does 6″ leg hold, then switch. Continue switching until 600 total LBCs are completed.

    We barely finished the second round of squats. It is probably for the best. Had the Form Police been at the scene one set of PAX would have been hauled off to jail. In retrospect, based on their Juvenile interpretive dancing, Cardinal, Tana, and Lil’ Cuz almost backed their thangs up into purgatory.

    As you can imagine, YHC had to say something. As you can imagine Lil’ Cuz and Cardinal tore YHC to shreds. It got ugly, but not as ugly as watching Tana’s Al Gore pose from the backside.

    On a brighter note, Paradiddle is a straight up beast. He barely broke a sweat during Goose’s PMS beatdown and this morning, hung out in Al Gore, but the hard way with legs splayed wide and toes pointed out. In some circles, this is called the goddess squat and it makes Al Gore feel like a comfy heated toilet seat.

    YHC called time with five minutes remaining and shifted to our close out song.

    Mary Song – Hey Pocky A-Way (The Meters)

    – Hold elbow plank for duration of song
    – Pickle pounder on every “way” or “hey”
    – 66 pickle pounders

    The chatter subsided and the badassery resumed.

    COT and Lil’ Cuz prayed us out.

    Don’t let the snark fool you. We all love and are exceedingly grateful for the molting process.

  • I Wanna Know What Love Is, and I Want Goose to Show Me! – from Goose

    8 PAX arrived by ones and twos for the first ever “Valentine’s Day Tuff” beatdown, and it was clear that these lugs were in need of some educatin’ on the true meaning of love. Thankfully, though YHC may not be a smart man, I know what love is.
    The warmup started with Seal Jacks, which blew everyone’s mind, causing the schismatic tendencies of Yankee Joe, Paradox, and Enron to flare up for the first of the typical ten or so times this beatdown. But, we made it through via synced clapping, which is always a morale booster. Warmup continued with the usuals plus some mountain climbers, high knees, and butt kicks without much of a break between each exercise–YHC knew we needed time for all the lecturing that was to be peppered (heavily) throughout the beatdown.

    We started with a song to get the juices flowing and the cardio system blowing in preparation for another Merkin Mile for time. YHC chose “Good Vibrations” by the Beach Boys to illustrate that the earliest, shallowest stages of love pretty much consists of idealism and brain chemicals. Though important to the process, this stage should be endured without making any major decisions or doing anything that can’t be undone. So, we let the “good vibrations” and “excitations” be our trigger words for burpees while SSH’s carried us through the rest of the song. Most idealism driven chemicals come and go pretty quick, especially when real life kicks in, like endless burpees.

    The stage after the initial buzz of being struck by the arrow of love is typically a sort of tunnel vision–it takes over all your thoughts and all your time, and you can’t focus on anything else. What better way to navigate this stage than a manly Tunnel of Love. YHC hearkened back to my VQ exactly three years ago where this routine was one of the highlights. You can’t beat crawling through a sweaty man tunnel fraught with stalactites, stank breath, and butt slaps. Once again, being hit with the reality of life is the only way to safely navigate to this stage.

    The third stage of love is usually defined by a sense that we can conquer the world together, there has never been a love as strong as ours, and we’ll “stay right here forever, until the sky falls down on us”. Again, this is chemicals talking, so still not rooted in reality, but an important part of the process, nonetheless.
    This stage would be experienced by the PAX through completing the weekly Merkin Mile (1 mile run w/25 merkins at each quarter mile), which has been given special attention due to the superhuman efforts of Pommel Horse from Lake Charles setting the bar at 7:47. The PAX started with watches synced and a belief that our determination, desire, and confidence (brain chemicals) would see us through to at least a sub 8:00 time. Alas, reality broke through again–nothing kills determination and confidence chemicals like survival instinct chemicals kicking in somewhere between that second and third set of merkins. Self-preservation is ultimately the enemy of love, and every man felt it this morning. The fastest time was 8:25, which was slower than the previous week’s posting, most likely because of that added block that was mistakenly left out last week. But, the push was, again, impressive, and it set us up well for the next stage.

    So, if love isn’t a feeling, if it isn’t just a natural chemical reaction that runs the risk of fading away when things get tough, then what is it? We’re naturally attracted by the “other-ness” of the other, but it’s exactly that “other-ness” that tends to wear on us over time and cause us to go into self-preservation mode. And, our brains actually can’t handle a non-stop flow of those “in-love” chemicals; they actually have to fade for us to be able to properly function. So, what is love, then?
    IT’S A CHOICE.
    When the body says I need to take care of me, it’s a choice to live for another. When I get tired and want to retreat, it’s a choice to push forward into the mystery, into the pain, into the risk of losing it all because the other is truly worth it, and there is so much beauty yet to be discovered.
    This morning, there was so much concrete, grass, and mud yet to be discovered, and the only way to get better at pushing through the instinct to self-preservation is practice. So, since practice makes perfect, and the number 7 is the symbol of perfection, 7’s it would be.

    We started at the stage with 6 curls (for the girls in our lives) and then block and bear across the field to the sidewalk for 1 thruster before murder bunnying back to the stage for 5 curls, etc. The tenacity of the men was impressive, especially Enron’s, who used his sprint/stop/sprint technique and his long limbs to draft YHC for the duration and then powerfully pass me on the last stretch. Also, Smooth Operator continues to show the same solid determination and drive that’s got him #1 in the rucking category for Run Cajun Run–even once time was called, he refused to stop and finished strong on his last stretch of bunnies. What a beast!
    We didn’t finish the 7’s because we still have a long, long way to go before we’re perfect in our ability to love our wives. So, bring on the blocks, bears, bunnies, merkins, burpees, crying babies, financial unknowns, in-laws, mood swings, and getting older. It’s gonna be a helluva ride.

    COT and Paradox prayed us out. It’s an awesome gift to be able to train not just the body but the mind and heart through F3, and it wouldn’t be possible or nearly as fruitful without you guys. Deeply grateful for the camaraderie this morning, and looking forward to continuing to improve with y’all!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Cold Hands, Warm Hearts, Can’t Lose! – from Lil Cuz

    The game is over, you’re a Champion! You finally accomplished all that you have been working towards and now what…relief? Excitement? What comes next? The greatest players of all time always answer one thing to this question. “Let’s get back to work.” Most elite level athletes allow themselves the night of the biggest wins of their careers to celebrate, but when the next morning comes, they are back to working just as hard as if they are rookies again walking onto the field for the first time. This is the mindset that needs to be sought after in order to continue growing throughout life. Living in humility and knowing you can take care of business when the call comes.

    We may not be Superbowl winning level athletes, but we can apply this same work ethic in our everyday lives. We relax and enjoy our families on Sunday but Monday rolls around and it’s time to get back to work and continue on this path with our cross on our shoulder. We march on, thankful to God for the reprieve of Sunday and thankful to God for the strength to keep moving and working to better ourselves. So this Monday morning, in the cold and in the dark; We got back to work…

    Thang 1:

    Start by Shovel Flag with 50 SSH’s.
    – Sprint to concrete on opposite side of field.
    – Bear Crawl to halfway point of field.
    – Mosey around track back to Shovel Flag.

    Complete 25 Merkins.
    – Repeat sprint, bear crawl and mosey back to Shovel Flag.

    Complete 15 Burpees.
    – Repeat sprint, bear crawl and mosey back to Shovel Flag.

    Complete 50 LBC’s
    – Repeat sprint, bear crawl and mosey back to Shovel Flag.

    Complete 40 Jump Squats.
    – Repeat sprint, bear crawl and mosey back to Shovel Flag.

    Thang 2:
    Relay race with the Pax split into 2 teams and team members spread out to the four corners of the Stage track. All Pax doing SSH’s while waiting their turn to run. Runner gets to next Pax on his team and calls a workout of which the next Pax to run would do a set of 15 before running to his next teammate. Two laps and winning team would get to relish in their “prize”. We had some real shiners that chose today to showcase their true speed, and a bunch of racers whose competitive spirit really showed through. The relay was neck and neck the whole way through, but Team 1 pulled out the win in the very last section of the race.

    Winning team would get to choose an additional 5 reps of each workout if they wanted to get the extra burn this morning or could take 5 reps away if they would like to relax. This was chosen in silence between the individual Pax and God, not as a team.

    Thang 3: Back to Thang 1 and this time seemed to be done much slower than the first, and each round felt so much sweeter as we got closer and closer to the end.

    Admittedly, YHC thought that thang 1 would take up much more time, but these fellas came to workout this morning and they weren’t having any slow counts in the cold. Relay race was supposed to be a finishing round but ended up as a middler to really see how far our muscles could be pushed. Everyone pushed so hard to finish and we did it with 1 minute to spare. There was dispute as YHC was under the impression we exercised for an hour during the week but YHC was quickly downvoted and told to lay off the Q-drenaline as we only had 1 minute left.

    :30 – :45 of Mary to close which consisted of 6-inch hold for duration.

    COT, name-o-rama, and Dox prayed us out.

    Thanks for the backblast name, Wet Tap! Cold Hands, Warm Hearts, Can’t Lose! This really has described the Thibodaux F3 Pax throughout the winter and I can’t wait for the next one.

    SYITG,
    Lil’ Cuz

  • The Ultimate Sprint: Outsmarting 5th Graders and Conquering the Grave – from Goats in the Machine

    Today’s workout was a true test of both physical and mental strength. The Ultimate Sprint: Outsmarting 5th Graders and Conquering the Grave was a challenging journey through the pathways and bridges of the Civic Center Park area, aka The Lion’s Den. The air was ideal for a beatdown, and the ground was the perfectly saturated.
    Just before the workout began, First responders, including several police cruisers and an ambulance, rushed to the scene with their lights flashing. When they arrived a Police Officer, Officer grabbed a 10-pound maul and approached the door of a temp building with determination. He raised the maul high above his head and brought it down with a loud crash multiple time. Unable to help and wanting to stay out of the way, the Pax continued with their workout.

    Warm-O-Rama:

    The usual stuff

    The Thang:

    The workout kicked off with wind sprints between the sidewalks in front of the Civic Center. We completed two rounds of sprints, planks in between. This served as a groundwork for the challenging exercises ahead. Additionally, the ground was the perfect level of wet for my Choco sandal theory to be tested. YHC successfully avoided soggy sox by utilizing this footwear method. Unfortunately, planks were kind of awkward.

    Next, we made our way over to Aslan for a musical workout with “Ain’t No Grave” by Molly Skaggs. We performed Grave Diggers with burpee on the “down” and SSH on the interlude (“if you walk out of the grave…”). This was a great test of our endurance as we pushed ourselves to dig deep and keep moving. It also gave us a great view of what seemed to be the most action the TPD has seen in years.

    We then returned to the sidewalks for another round of wind sprints, this time with 4 rounds and a plank break between each. The Pax paused for a brief prayer for the emergency situation that was occurring nearby.

    Afterward, we moved to the bridge for a round of 11’s. This included overhead presses and goblet squats in round 1. Followed by kettlebell swings and BBSUs with the coupon in round 2. The coupon mosey back to Aslan was a welcome break before the final challenge.

    The last challenge was a true test of our intelligence with a game of “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” with two teams. Correct answers meant a quick plank and incorrect answers meant 5 BBSUs. With questions ranging from history to science and everything in between, this was a fun and challenging way to end the workout.

    In conclusion, today’s workout was a true test of our physical and mental toughness, and I’m proud of everyone who stepped up to the challenge. The Pax of F3 Thibodeaux are grateful for the first responders who showed up this morning to help someone in need. They were a true testament to the bravery and dedication of those who serve and protect their communities. Until next time, stay strong and keep pushing yourselves!

    COT:

    • Count-O-Rama • Name-O-Rama • Announcements • Prayer Requests

    PS:

    IF you lift1 coupon with 2 hands and 2 toddlers with one hand, then you might be a Thibodaux PAX.
    If you typically spend your 10 count saying “ I used to be able to do that when I was younger” then you might be Yankee Joe.

  • “What We Obtain too Cheap, We Esteem too Lightly” – from Yankee Joe

    “Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.” – Thomas Paine

    Warmarama
    – SSHs
    – Abe Vigodas (slow windmills)
    – Knoxville cherry pickers
    – Willy Mays Hayes
    – Arm circles
    – Air squats
    – Mountain Climbers

    —————————————
    Part 1: Freedom

    Earlier this week, my oldest daughter, Evelyn Grace (6 yrs old) came home with a kindergarten assignment to write two sentences with the prompt:

    “In my opinion, freedom means…”

    My wife and I were surprised by how difficult it was to explain the concept to her. Most likely because as a six year old, she only understands the dictatorship she currently is living under. But, like any warm blooded American Dad hypocrite, that got me thinking about my own opinion about the meaning of freedom. This beatdown/backblast represents my humble attempt to do just that.

    On this day in 1789, George Washington was unanimously elected as first president of our great nation. I think my intention was to create a theme, any theme, but after some time, I was simply force feeding exercises into historical contexts. It was sloppy and disingenuous. It felt too important. I was stumped.

    As I was abandoning the idea, I started thinking about our independence. I started thinking about what kind of desperate level of crazy it must have taken to, in presumably sound mind, collectively decide to take on the most powerful military (army and navy) power on earth.

    Can you imagine the scene?!?

    Ben Franklin (who was 70 at the time): “Let’s fight Britain.”

    Thomas Jefferson: “Seriously, Ben, go back to sleep.”

    (Sam Adams is off in the corner getting sloshed)

    John Hancock: “Oooh, oooh, oooh…and we can sign something???”

    —————————————–
    Mini Bootcamp Training

    – 20 Imperial Squat walkers
    – 10 triple Merkin, triple jump burpees
    – 10 P2J2s (8ct…2 plank jacks, 2 chillcut peter parker’s, 2 j-los 1:1, 2 pickle pounders = 1 rep)

    ——————————————–
    Part 2: Reality Sets In

    Of course, John Hancock would have that opportunity, and soon King George sent a 32,000 man expeditionary force to the colonies, including 30,000 Hessian mercenaries. Within a short time, the northern strongholds, including New Jersey and New York, had all been taken, and the British viewed the situation as an easily squashed uprising. Indeed, the original force of 23,000 Regulars under the command of Washington had dwindled by December 1776 to nearly 3,000 poorly trained, poorly provisioned men through desertions, disease, and expired enlistments.

    It was all but over.

    Washington, who had nothing like a stellar military record, was perhaps more importantly, an ingenious marketer and effective motivator. The consensus of his councils was that they desperately needed a victory or it would be over within weeks. In fact, the rest of the regular soldiers’ enlistments ended on December 31st.

    At about the same time, another propaganda machine kicked into high gear. Thomas Paine, the author of Common Sense, wrote a letter to the public called the American Crisis. It, along with the small victories in early 1777, are credited with turning the tide of morale and public support of fighting for independence.

    December 23, 1776

    THESE are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.

    Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value.

    Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated.

    Britain, with an army to enforce her tyranny, has declared that she has a right (not only to TAX) but “to BIND us in ALL CASES WHATSOEVER” and if being bound in that manner, is not slavery, then is there not such a thing as slavery upon earth. Even the expression is impious; for so unlimited a power can belong only to God.

    —————————————–
    The Thang:

    – P1 Chillcut peter parker’s (aim for 50); P2 block and bear to marker (30 yards), rifle carry back; flapjack
    – P1 & P2 spiderman crawl to marker; crawl bear back

    – P1 J-Lo’s (aim for 50); P2 murderbunny to marker, redrum return; flapjack
    – P1 & P2 sprint (one with coupon, other with bricks); flapjack

    ————————————–
    Part 3: We Must Go On?

    A couple of days later on Christmas night, Washington took 2,400 men at three launch points across the Delaware. The temperature was below freezing, and by 11 pm when the crossing began in earnest, a straight up blizzard began with wind chills with estimated subzero temperatures. It took eleven hours to cross and the mission was four hours behind schedule.

    Washington later wrote, “…As I was certain there was no making a retreat without being discovered and harassed on repassing the River, I determined to push on at all Events.”

    The Thang:

    – P1 thrusters (aim for 25); P2 brick butterfly walk; flying brick nuns back; flapjack

    ——————————–
    Part 4: One More Month

    On December 31st, 1776, only a week after the surprise attack and subsequent victory in Trenton over the Hessian force, Washington’s meager army was at the end of its enlistment period. The following day, the vast majority of his soldiers had the right to go home to their families and farms. However, Washington and his war council had deliberated for days following Trenton and had made the fateful decision to press whatever little advantage they add against the British forces. On that December 31st morning, Washington appealed to his troops:

    “My brave fellows, you have done all I asked you to do, and more than can be reasonably expected; but your country is at stake, your wives, your houses and all that you hold dear. You have worn yourselves out with fatigues and hardships, but we know not how to spare you. If you will consent to stay one month longer, you will render that service to the cause of liberty, and to your country, which you probably can never do under any other circumstances.”

    ——————————-
    The Last Thangs:

    Song: Run Away – The Real McCoys
    – Hillbilly squat walkers, burpee on “run away”
    – Approx. 40 burpees

    Song: Jump Around – House of Pain
    – Plank jacks, merkin on “jump”
    – Approx. 40 merkins

    Song: We Built This City – Starship
    – Lbc’s, Freddie’s, hello Dolly’s, leg lifts, flutters, etc.
    – V-ups on “we built this city”

    COT and the PAX excitedly welcomed MAFAT and Ponzi to the beautiful chaos. Goose prayed us out.

    Let us always remember the multitude of blessings and freedoms we enjoy delivered to us by the multitude of sacrifices and hardships endured before us.

    SYITG,
    Yankee Joe

  • Basketball Jones – from Paradox

    7 pax entered the Lions Den as a light mist fell around the feet of Aslan(d) . During a recent conversation with Goose YHC got worked up into a full lather about the endless potential the Den has for a basketball beatdown. But first there were a few questions to consider:

    1. Could we work our body , work our body , but make sure we don’t hurt nobody ?
    2. Could the DJ turn it up but make sure he dont burn it up?
    3. Can we set a pick at the free throw line of life?
    4. Will a basketball under our pillow improve our sleep ?

    Certainly 5:30 was early to consider deep philosophy but I knew 7 HIgh impact fellows who could help me find the answers…

    Roll that bean footage Duke !

    Warmup
    Standard issue type where YJ talks to his neighbor in stream of consciousness and Enron has form questions.
    SSH , IW , WM, AC , CP

    Run Cajun Run Mosey to the Bball court then we got down to business.

    In December 1891 Dr James Naismith invented an indoor game to keep athletes in peek condition during winter. With a peach basket and a soccer ball he changed the landscape of American sports. Today we will honor his achievement and learn how to earn our respect on the court.

    Anker Tribute

    Basketball Jones by Cheech and Chong
    This may be my all time favorite F3 song to date. The mixture of pain and laughter was beautiful.
    3 modes :
    Plank up- merkins on basket ball
    Al gore – squats on basketballs
    LBC- crunch on basketball

    NBA Trivia
    Add 5 burpees if wrong
    Bobby Hurleys /MakTars then a court suicide each round
    1/2…6/12 in Jack Webb format

    1. Most NBA champ player?
    Bill Russel
    2. How many referees during NBA game ? 4
    3. Shaq shoe size ? 23
    4. First WNBA player to dunk in a game? Brittany Griner
    5. First MVP by unanimous vote , Steph Curry
    6. All time leading scorer in men’s college basketball-pistol Pete

    We only did 1 set of penalty burpees thanks to our man AOL who, on top of being our IT guy , is also an actual walking computer of NBA knowledge. With quiet strength he put the team on his back and saved us from burpees before we could debate ourselves into more pain. Well done!

    Song:
    Space Jam By Quad City DJs

    YHC Continues to be impressed by YJs knowledge of 80s/90s hip hop . Was he accused of insider trading during the preBlast riddle? That’s a matter for my legal team. But by my calculations YJ would have been 18 years old when the song was out and obviously formed him into the baller he is today so all is forgiven.

    Side shuffle , slap floor on jam, jump shot on Jam
    YHC shared a special moment with Enron as we locked gazes during side shuffle until the slick court mud almost took my life. Tana added several interpretive dance moves that kept our minds off the burning legs. .

    To the main event

    F3 Knockout
    Standard knockout rules with a 5 burpee buy in
    3 strikes and you are out for good.
    This led to the showdown that no one saw coming but we all needed….

    Goose vs Cardinal

    The young calf vs the old bull

    Priest vs Administration

    Man vs Man for all to witness

    A battle for bragging rights at the Office of Parish support. It was all in the table.
    Cardinal hung tough early with some defensive strategy but in the end Goose found his shot and took the title home.

    Mosey back to Aslan(d) for COT and Ronnie prayed us out.

    A great privilege to lead you men and have some fun to start the day. If you find yourself afflicted with the basketball Jones , well…now you know the cure.

    SYITG
    PDOX

  • NEW AO NAMED IN THIBODAUX! / A Transportation Exhibition – from Goats in the Machine

    YHC arrived at the at 5:25 to eight (8) PAX, including and FNG, parked and waiting near the flag poles in front of the Civic Center as instructed. An Additional Pax, Goose, was spotted parking in the wrong location as well displaying a level of tardiness that is typically only seen by YHC. It was latter discovered that he was delayed due to an uncontrollable urge to craft a fudge pop. YHC began the Beatdown with 10 PAX (including myself) at 5:32.

    It was 64 degrees, dry air, and highly saturated grounds. The concrete was still moist and had puddles colleting in low spots from the previous night’s rain.

    Warm-O-Rama
    SSH, Imperial Walkers, Wind Mills, Arm stretching, High Knees, Butt Kicks, Mosey to Basketball Court
    YHC’s cadence was miserable as usual

    THANG 1 – “The Long BLACK Train”
    This THANG was designed with the intention of showcasing various means of F3 Transport. The PAX lined up at mid-court. The Pax used the following methods to transport themselves between mid-court and the bassline in succession: Bear crawls, Lunges, Alligator Merkin Crawl, Crab Walk, and Kicking walks (AKA Waling Ray Finkel). I’m a sucker for a good acronym. During each round and in between “transports” the Pax performed reps of an exercise called by YHC.

    Round 1= BBSU (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)
    Round 2=Squats (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)
    Round 3 =Shoulder Taps (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)
    Round 4 = Burpees (5 reps per transport, 25 total for the round)
    Round 5 = Monkey Humpers (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)

    Pax then did an Indian-Run back to Aslan, a concrete Lion statue, and then to the bottom of the berm at the water reservoir.

    THANG 2 – Price is Right – Kelly Bluebook Used Car Edition
    The PAX separated into two (2) teams. YHC listed a year make and model for a vehicle. The following was assumed: 20k miles, good condition, base model, standard equipment, white exterior color. The team closest to the KBB value with out going over wins the round. The loosing team sprinted up the berm performed 5 burpees and sprinted back. the winning team sprinted up the berm and back. Followed by 3 burpees at the bottom.

    For your reference:
     2015 Honda Acord LX = $13,744
     2016 Mercedes-Benz C Class 300 = $16,633
     2019 Honda Odyssey LX = $22, 751
     2019 Toyota RAV4 LE= $23,026
     2022 Ford XLT Crew Cab = $43,277

    COT

    Count Off & Name-O-Rama : 10 PAX

    Announcements :
    -Coyote Birthday Q @ the Perch on Saturday.
    -Welcome “AOL,” an IT professional
    -The Name of the Civic Center AO was declared “The Lions Den.” This named is derived from the before mentioned concrete statue , Aslan, that happened to be located near our shovel flag. “Narnia” was thrown out as an option, but Mother Goose informed us that is was too juvenile and feminine. @Goose Please look into getting the new AO added to the Backblast Database.

    Intentions: Thanksgiving for Enron’s new 2.5, Family of a deceased neighbor, Extended Family Strife

    Cardinal Prayed us out.

    It was a blast exploring the new AO with these men. YHC can’t wait participate in the creative beatdowns to come!

    Sincerely,
    GITM

  • Concrete Schoolyard – from Paradox

    What are the greatest rivalries of all time?
    Some come to mind.

    Yankees vs Bo Sox?
    Rocky vs Apollo Creed?
    JBL vs Anker (RIP!)?
    Gandalf vs Saruman?
    Lil Cuz’s Neck vs Gravity?
    Yankee Joe vs Father Time?

    All great.

    But Regardless of the pairing, one thing is always present in a great rivalry.
    High level Competition creates high level performance.

    I could explain …but …really …
    Well, I’d rather just show you.

    10 PAX arrived in a flurry to the concrete schoolyard to test our limits in the spirit of competition. Gorgeous beatdown weather. high 50s. Light breeze.

    WarmUp

    Usuals plus Bumper\Stop mosey.
    Touch the sign or it don’t count.

    Wilfred “place at the table” Montana “ coming in hot to break up mid mosey SLT meeting with YHC and Goose. Ya hate to see that kinda attention seeking behavior early in a Q. but you must persevere.

    Thang 1 – Anker tribute

    Not a day goes by that I don’t think about our Anker being in Bluetooth heaven. Sitting there amongst the clouds listening to sea shanties with no more pain.
    One small portion of his greatness was bringing the best from JBL and teaching him the way of audio torture for the PAX.
    Today we honor him with one of the greatest lyrical battles of the modern age.

    *NSYNC vs Backstreet Boys

    Backstreet Boys “Everybody”

    So we start with 10 burpees to work off with 1 deleted per sic dance move

    Apolo Onos to start during the dance window , flow into IWs

    Burpees on every “Body”

    Like any 8th grade dance the pax were hesitant to start but Goose broke the ice with his patented …Irish jig , it’s something
    Baggins felt the spirit and went for groceries.
    YJ came in hot after provocations with some funk fresh and Goats rounded out with the classic preparation H. Im missing one but im sure it was memorable.
    These brave men bought us 5 burpees.

    Track mosey and oh boy you know what’s next …

    Bye bye bye by Nsync
    Plank on song
    MC on Bye

    Lots of long plank holds so Goose could tell us Justin Timberlakes Dating history.

    The Thang

    Concrete Schoolyard

    Rules

    -Split PAX into 1s and 2s
    -Everyone gets one piece of chalk
    -the object of the game is to put points in the opposing teams “goal “ which is a chalk circle on the concrete
    ⁃ you can only do this by completing the base exercise then sprinting to the goal. This results in 1 point.
    ⁃ Scattered in the field of battle are “extra points “ you could add to your base score (see below)
    ⁃ A round will be timed, when time is called we tally points

    Coupons 10 OHP- 2 points
    10 Med Ball Slam- 2 points
    60 jump rope – 2 points
    Kettle Bell swing -2 points
    Ole Hickory – 5 points

    Winner savors 5 SSH
    Loser eats 5 burpees

    Round 1
    5 minutes on the clock
    10 merkins at base

    Round 2
    5 minutes
    10 Bonnie Blair’s at base

    Lightning Round 3
    2 minutes on clock
    5 Burpees at base

    Team 1
    Tana, Cardinal , YJ , lil cuz , Smooth operator

    Team 2
    Baggins, Superfund, Goose, goats , YHC

    Alot to unpack here and I’m sure validity of points and timing will be debated for decades to come but at one point in the middle of the beautiful madness YHC stopped mid Merkin to soak it all in …

    I saw a Goose sliding to secure ole hickory, shouldering his burden as our most fit pax by selflessly accepting thrusters….I saw Tana looking for every workable angle to gather intel for his crew. I saw smooth operator grab a cinder and wonder what the hell he got himself into….I saw a priest use his body as a shield against an enemy …I saw a master hobbit dashing there and back again from Bonnie Blair’s to ole hickory like he was back in the Shire….I saw Cuz and SuperFund lead with quiet strength. I saw men who forgot they came to exercise and elevated their limits for others.

    Every pax alive in the haze of battle
    Ignited with the fuel of competition.

    I saw a beautiful thing and I for one am grateful to be a part of it.

    Already working on Volume 2.

    COT and Superfund prayed us out
    Praying for Enrons family and
    Baby Little Itch

    SYITG
    PDox

  • JERICHO – from Paradox

    8 pax on a crisp cool morning at the Stage. With a large group of our pax starting the Exodus 90 journey today YHC thought it pertinent to reinforce a few principles of “breaking down walls”. During a recent bedtime story session, my 2.0s selected the walls of Jericho story (Joshua 6) and in usual fashion the follow up questions had my brain in a pretzel. My son asked what if the soldiers didn’t want to walk around Jericho and they just ran home ? My daughter following with “were there pets in there? What about stuffed animals?”

    Like whoaaa, Did someone spike the Mac and cheese tonight? This led to a re-reading of the scripture, some deep northshore research to find an ole Grundy Q and 4 hours of calculating exactly what year Yankee Jeaux was born. Let’s dive in.

    Warmup
    Abbreviated Standard with a bumper mosey and …I mean Tana those cherry pickers are Something.

    A quick intro that one of the important steps of any rigorous spiritual exercise is relying on others. Recognition that others have strengths and some God given gifts …like sound volume and base. While others have clarity and portability. You know where I’m heading. YHC unveiled that this beatdown was brought to you by ….BAPS. Day by day we heal the scars of the great Bluetooth schism that ultimately took Ankers life. Gone but not forgotten.

    Anker Tribute
    At the start of our exodus journey you are asked to consider your “WHY ?”
    Well traditionally any deep philosophical question in our pax goes through Cardinal and Goose but today we settled for the next best thing ….the resident theologian Lil Jon asked us all “what will you turn down for”
    burpees on “turn down “
    SSH on rest
    **that Wiley old fox Enron smelled this one from a mile away , we’ll come back to strange smells later. Stay with me

    It’s a Stepwise process
    Next we discussed that any major exercise like this would require singular focus on what’s directly ahead of you . Which led to an even deeper question….What was Yankee Joe doing in 1990?? he was almost certainly watching MTV and memorizing Donnie walbergs moves to this classic…

    Step by step – new kids
    One rep at a time , one day at a time
    Step ups on “step”
    , incline mountain climbers on song

    So you are relying on your brothers , you know your “why “and you are taking it step by step but there’s still no Conquering the fear of what’s inside the walls without full trust in God

    Walls of Jericho Thang
    7 exercise
    7 Reps
    7 round
    Track mosey in between

    Depth charges
    Leg raises
    Hurpees
    Ranger merkins
    BBSU
    Carolina dry docks
    Box jumps

    We completed 4 rounds with some solid push.

    Mary to wrap up but wait

    I’ll pause here to note that 5 penalty burpees were given when the gaseous form of pure evil was expelled from the innards of Yankee Joe. YHC was downwind and had his mouth open and and the only way to cleanse one’s palate was 5 burps. Praying for your colon Jeaux.

    Count and name
    FNG naming. With some deliberation and quite a few verbal counter strikes we landed on “Baggins” . This man weathered the chatter, the walls of Jericho and stood strong in a hurricane of potential names. Well done. That quick wit will serve you well amongst these heathens.

    COT and Kilo prayed us out

    Grateful to lead and to continue this journey with y’all.

    SYITG
    PDOX