F3 New Orleans

Tag: Wilford Montana

  • “Brick killed a guy” – from Enron

    Better late than never a backblast from Monday, 7/18/22.

    YHC rolled up to the stage in the dark to prepare for the morning’s beatdown. After some prior recalling from Paradox that it has been a while since the bricks have been seen, a theme popped up. 12 bricks were unloaded and prepared for the PAX. (Fortunately, 2 extra bricks were unveiled as Paradox found that they are more fragile than previously believed).
    Shortly thereafter the following started rolling in:

    PAX: Enron, Goose, Paradox, Wilford Montana, Yankee Joe

    Warmup: the usual plus a couple with a mosey, bricks in hand, to the stop sign afterwards – SSH, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, Grass Grabbers, IW

    After gathering at the stop sign, YHC informed the PAX that the bricks were now a part of them. “There are many bricks like this, but these bricks are mine”. Instructing that the bricks would not be placed on the ground for the remainder of the time.

    Thang 1: Rich Man’s Row Run/Nur
    Rotating Run and Nur between each light pole along the way, the following exercises were completed at each pole with bricks.
    5 x Hand Release Brick Merkins
    10 x Flys with Bricks (The clapping/showing-off of the bricks during this is what broke two bricks for Paradox, resulting in having to carry 4 pieces for the remainder of the run)
    15 x Arms out Squats
    20 x Shoulder Taps
    25 x Moroccan Night Clubs
    Rinse and Repeat – completed 3 rounds of these before making it back to the front of the Stage

    Thang 2: A song – “Brick House” – The Commodores
    After some banter about difficulties of connecting to JBL and the ongoing discussion/argument of which portable speaker is best, the song was started. Thanks to Wilford Montana for the correct guess on the year “Brick House” was released – 1977.
    The following was performed:
    Curls for the duration of the song
    Overhead clap on “Brick”
    Seal Clap on “House”

    Thang 3: 7-18-22s
    Chose a triangle using the picnic tables that the PAX are praying are still around for the St. Vincent 500, the following exercises were completed at each one, still with bricks:
    7- Moroccan Night Clubs
    Bear Crawl to Table
    18 – V ups
    Crab Walk
    22 – Curls
    Mosey

    Next Round:
    7 – Tricep Extensions
    Bear Crawl
    18- Floyd Mayweather’s
    Crab Walk
    22 – Nolan Ryan’s (11 on Each side)
    Mosey back

    Finished with some brick included Mary.

    COT and prayed us out. It was a great experience this morning with these guys, thanks to all that made it.

    Till next time in the Gloom,
    Enron

  • Humility is a Moving Target – from Goose

    Storm clouds threatened as 6 PAX gathered in the muggly gloom for YHC’s third and somewhat wonky attempt at a beatdown. Nevertheless, the theme was true and the PAX was hungry. Said theme revolved around gratitude and humility.

    Warmup:
    The norm with an added deep hip flexor pulses (thing yoga crescent lunch with a hint of wife pleasers)

    Thang 1: Psalm 30:6-7
    We all too often, during the good times, can become complacent and thus tempted to push Him aside and “take over the reins.” Even in the tougher times, we are eager to “do it ourselves.” This is self-will run riot. To remind us of this awesome show of humility on the part of King David…
    PAX completed a set of worst worst merkins (6 ct each in slow cadence) with an additional 6 ct of full extended push-ups to fire up the core. (30 total); Lunged 15 yards; Round of mucho leg-o, 5 ct each of narrow squats, normal squats, wide squats, jump squats, and bonnie blair’s (30 total); Bear crawl 15 yards back to starting marker (15 + 15 = 30)

    Thang 2: Highway to Hell
    YHC spoke of a time when he took matters into his own hands, ignored all of the signs (literal and otherwise), and…well…destroyed a minivan and his pride. It was a powerful moment in humility (and certainly gratitude). With free will, we certainly must “drive,” but we also must pay attention to the signs and guideposts.

    PAX was treated to BOSÉ and an effortless demonstration of musical elysium to the tune of “Highway to Hell” by AC/DC. PAX did J-Lo’s throughout, dropping down for scuba steve’s during the chorus.

    Thang 3: Matthew the Egyptian (Matt 18:20)
    Part of YHC’s immense gratitude for the Thibodaux PAX could not be better summarized than Matt 18:20, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

    PAX lined up and completed a long series of “walk like an egyptian,” in which the entire PAX low lunged and held, while twisting core to the side of the front knee. The last PAX completed 5 LBC’s, bolted to the front of the line; the entire PAX then lunged to the opposite leg with opposite core twist. PAX completed 18 held lunges for a duration of 5 1/2 minutes. (In retrospect, the thang would work better with a larger PAX and clearer instructions from YHC)

    Thang 4: Illusion of Control
    To really break through our need for control in this life, we have to push through to a place where it (control) ceases to exist. In this case, muscle failure.
    PAX did merkins (OYO) until failure. Enron, Goose, and Paradox scorched YHC’s failure point of 32

    Next, PAX did squats until failure. Cardinal and Montana showed off some impressive stamina and eventually YHC had to call it for sake of time (next time, it will be bonnie blairs!).

    Next, freddie mercury’s and finally back to regular merkins under cadence; when YHC failed, Goose picked up the count with Goose and Paradox putting on a showcase of Dad strength.

    PAX finished with a strong session of Mary, big boy sit-ups, zombie crunches, supermans, scuba steve’s, etc. – all 30 ct. For the final exercise, yet to be named (our research team is madly combing through the Exicon literature), PAX got into superman position, but with hands behind head and toes grounded. Then lifted entire torso up to the left; returned to start position, still hovering, then lifted the torso up to right; returned to hover. PAX completed 10 count with a low country chorus of Gollum-like mumble(grunting).

    COT and Montana prayed us out. Grateful for the opportunity to serve. Will sharpen up transitions for next time.

    The storm never materialized.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe

  • July 11–A Big Day – from Goose

    5 PAX gathered on a warm Monday morning, not knowing it was a big day, which would require a big beatdown. First, July 11 is the 40th anniversary of YHC’s baptism, which started it all. Second, it’s the Feast of St. Benedict, who not only is the father of monasticism, but his monasteries were responsible for preserving western civilization after the fall of Rome. Lots to celebrate!

    Warmup: the usual suspects

    Thang 1: March 21, 547
    Benedict died on that date, just like God told him he would. PAX completed continuous rounds of the following for 3 minutes and 21 seconds: 5 merkins, 4 burpees, 7 squats

    Thang 2: Rule of Life
    Benedict was asked to write a rule of life for the first monastic community–he did such a good job, they tried to kill him twice. Cupid would provide the same experience for us.
    Song–Cupid Shuffle; follow his rules: plank for the duration, move around in a circle for every “to the right” or “to the left”, plank jacks for every “kick”, mountain climbers for every “walk it by yourself”, and hand-release merkin for every “down, down, do yo thang”.

    Thang 3: Death
    Baptism is choosing to enter into death with Christ so to rise with Him. So, we entered into a modified Bataan Death Crawl: Partnered up, and P1 started bear crawling around the perimeter of the field while P2 did 5 burpees and ran to catch up to P1, and they switched. Butt slaps, punches, etc. were encouraged.

    Thang 4: Resurrection
    Song–“Christ is Risen”, by Matt Maher: hold Al Gore for the duration, and jump squat on every “risen”, “awake”, and “rise”. The quads burned with the fire of purification.

    Thang 4: “We will run and not grow weary.”
    PAX moseyed the short loop, sprinting every third street light. Paradox kept YHC honest on maximum effort, and Montana impressively showed some serious afterburners toward the end of his third ever beatdown (and self-reportedly, the third time he’s ever exercised in his life).

    Back to the flag for 7 minutes of substantial Mary, COT, and Yankee Joe prayed us out. Many thanks for an awesome beatdown, fellas!

    SYITG,
    Goose