Youād think that you wouldnāt be able to build an entire beatdown around calf raises. But you know what? Youād be wrong. Youād think that the pax – which consisted of a Bushwacker still on duty, walkie in hand, and a Waterpik who did his own warmup running to the AO – youād think, hey, these guys would be very unhappy if they got up this early, braved the cold and ice for⦠calf raises? But again, youād be wrong. You might also say, but Steve, can calf raises alone keep you warm, what with arctic blasts rolling through the area and sub-freezing temperatures?
Well, ok no, letās be honest – no they cannot. But stillā¦.
It started off as it always does, with measly side straddle hops, a few wimpy butt kicks, some piddly grass grabbers and lame imperial walkers. Then a warm up lap around the trailhead before we got to the heavy stuff, the real meat of the workout and, thatās right, weāre not talking about absolution or kraken burpees or even those beloved Bulgarians, weāre talking about calf raises.
Now Russo has always maintained that 3 calf raises per step up the pilot house is the perfect amount. And Iād agree, except that I think thereās poor form on the first one, since you are stepping up to that step and probably havenāt quite settled before you begin. And of course, by that logic, thereās also poor form on the last one, as you start to jump up to the next step. So what happens in this 3-per-step scenario is youāre only really getting one good calf raise with proper form per step. Now, at 5 per step, youāre actually getting three good calf raises per step, as intended.
Lucky for us, form was not an issue. With icy conditions, we were forced to take things slow up the stairs for fear of slipping. With so many trips up the pilot house steps, YHC had time to reflect on the mechanics of calf raises, how they engage your core, help with balance awareness, heck, maybe even improve your posture. Itās very nearly a full body workout. Nearly. And to do this for 45 minutes would probably be some sort of record, right? Is there a Guinness World Record for calf raises? If not, Iām just going to go ahead and claim that Waterpik owns this record. I mean, whoās to say?
Ok, ok, perhaps there were other options at this beatdown, which were determined by a roll of the die:
1- 10 derkins off stage, bear crawl to platform and back
2 – 5 calf raises up each step
3 – 20x freak nasties, 20x merkins
4 – race down corridor, winner 5x merkins, losers 5x burpees
5 – 25x burpees
6 – Jane Fondas, pulses, and heel-to-knee x12 IC
BUT⦠Waterpik did roll a hell of a lot of 2ās in a very short period of time, and Bush was rolling 6ās like nobodyās business (and then pondering how appreciative his wife might be of his sudden glute development). It was a vicious cycle of calf raises and Jane fonds for a very long stretch.
Anyway, t-claps to these two men, who were gracious enough to get out there when even the Q didnāt want to go. Pik prayed us out with intentions for everyone to stay safe in this icy weather. Thanks for the opportunity to be out there with you gents, appreciate you guys.