F3 New Orleans

Tag: The Stage

  • Lose Yourself – from Paradox

    Look
    If you had one one beatdown, one opportunity …
    To seize everything you wanted as a Q…
    Would you capture it or let it slip
    Yo

    His coolJabs are sweaty , calves weak , JBL is heavy
    2.0 vomit on his mudgears already , M’s spaghetti
    He’s nervous , but on the surface he looks calm and ready
    To drop bombs but he keeps on forgetting
    What he wrote down , the mumble chatter goes so loud
    He opens his mouth but the cadence won’t come out
    The clocks run out ! times up !
    5:15 already Blaow! …

    Duke! Snap back to reality and Roll that beautiful footage!

    With 30 days till our signature summer event YHC wanted to stoke the fires of service a bit with a St Vincent de Paul tribute beatdown. 10 high impact men trickled into the stage just as YHC finished laying out some ominously zigzagging cones. YHC had serious concerns about low attendance today after Wet Tap came from the top rope on Monday with a F3 Thib instant classic Nurmegeddon: a mile long Nur that put more pax in physical therapy than beer league softball. To my relief waves of vehicles began washing ashore from all corners of Houma-Thibodaux highlighted by Honeysuckle bringing an FNG on his second beatdown! T-Claps

    The calves were tight but these animals were hungry for more.

    Warmup
    The usuals and a bumper mosey to make sure we still knew how to run forward.

    Thang 1

    St Vincent birthday :
    4 -24-1581

    We grabbed coupons and hit 4 corners for :
    4 thrusters x 4
    24 Curls x 3
    15 Werkins x 2
    81 presses x x1

    This heated up pretty quick. Tana could not be reached for comments , leave a message after the tone.
    He does not like pina colada’s but he will get caught in the rain (if he needs a signature) . Champagne and yoga? Forget about it .

    To the stage

    A fathers sacrifice for his sons education.
    St Vincent grew up in a poor farming family, his family made major sacrifices to send him to higher education.

    Partner up –
    Jason Aldean – Amarillo Sky

    Father- Farmer carry both coups around the track while the
    son does step ups
    Both pax do 1 round of farmer carry and 1 round of step up
    Burned it out with a minute of step ups.

    So St Vincent became a priest at 19 but he couldn’t serve as parish priest till 24 so he went back to the books for a degree in Canon law and theology. He was totally primed to change the world with his now sharpened intellect but as he reflects in his writings his heart was not about serving others.

    Can’t Touch This – MC Hammer
    Classic YHC side shuffle from grass to grass with Bobby Hurleys on can’t touch this.
    (Full props to YHCs 2.1 here. She dialed this one up and continues to sharpen her ear for F3 pain jamz.)

    Thang 2

    As we see time and time again God has a way of providing attitude adjustments at just the right time…
    St Vincent on his way back from finishing his education was caught by pirates and sold into 2 years of slavery.

    Open Ocean Team Race

    Split into 2 teams
    Start with 4x4x4 : 4 mountain climber , 4 Merkin , 4 SSH rinse and repeat. this seemed to boggle ole Street Smarts Ronnies brain until YHC saw the well patented Cardinal play to ask multiple clarifying questions in order to gather more oxygen. Well played.
    Send one pax at a time into the course until all go through and when the team is back together Team Lunge to the finish.

    Round 1 Nur/Run
    Round 2 Nur/Run Star jumps
    Round 3 all out Sprint

    Team one flexed big quad talent in round 1 and 2 with decisive victories anchored by the Popes young legs and Gooses rowing cadence.
    But Team 2 didn’t hear no bell.
    that’s when Ragnar Tana felt the Viking in his blood boiling and was heard cadencing his team to a close victory in round 3.
    Tremendous effort here all around cus the quads were …*checks diddle notes* ….
    …straight up lit fam frfr, say less!

    During these years as a slave St V saw the true value of service for “the least of these” and by establishing and deepening one on one relationships he converted his slave captors to Christianity eventually securing his freedom and returning to France with a full heart of Christian service

    Thang Finale

    Lose Yourself
    Ab burn out …
    Cycle of Big Boys , Leg Raise, Wife Pleasers with a 30 second 6 inch hold finisher

    CountoRama and NameOrana with a FNG ceremony…

    YHC has never been a great FNG namer and this is intensified as the Q. Today’s deliberations to name our FNG (he’s an eye doctor) started well enough with early front runners for Splinter and clear factions for America’s Best. YHC went with what seemed to be the popular vote of Splinter avoiding Gooses hurtful gaze…only for Team Dawson’s youngest litigator to bring the smoking gun in that we already had a splinter!
    Alas our man was dubbed America’s Best and was confirmed with the slightest hint of disgust for his new name and glowing smugness from the Honkmaster.

    Welcome America’s Best, great effort and continuing to strengthen our 40 north club with iron strong pax. The lineage of Yankee Jeaux becoming legendary even while he basks in the white sands of ….Florida with Ronnie D.

    COT and Diddle prayed us out

    As always its a great privilege to lead you men, grateful for your willingness to show up, beat the darkness and keep hammering.

    PAX today I challenge you

    The moment , you own it , you better never let it go
    Lose Yourself in the service of others
    This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Don’t be a NURD. This ain’t no picnic! – from Wet Tap

    7-10-23

    Yhc pulled up to the stage promptly at 5:12 eager to deploy a new brainstorm for destroying our legs.

    After a quick warmorama of buttkicks, high knees, tclaps, arm circles w/ Cherry pickers, and self love; it was time…

    Thang1

    It was hard to control my giddiness when Yhc called for a quick mile run to get the juices flowing. Wait, there’s more. This would be a mile nur. Laughter filled the gloom, but I wasn’t joking. What started as a fast paced quarter turned into a grueling calf burning misery, but there was no stopping this train. We all ground through trying to keep up with Goose and Dox. They never let up and like usual set the pace for the outdoor world record Nur.

    Thang2.

    The four corners of picnic tables “set the stage” for thang2.

    Parters set up at each table with their favorite coupon (Cinder).
    Table 1= 25 tricep dips
    Table 2= 25 merkins coupon (1:1) left arm down, center, and right arm down.
    Table 3= 25 Thursters
    Table 4= 25 genuflections w/coupon

    Mode of transportation between tables was murder bunnies (25 yds) and bear crawls (15 yds)

    Thang3.
    Daylight was coming quick, and to get those white shiny calves of goose to really plump up in those volleyball tights Yhc added single leg jumps across the grass and back (100yd) with single leg deadlifts(25). Repeated with other leg.
    Things were really hurting by this point, time for some Mary.

    AMRAP 1minute of:
    JLO with picklepounders
    Scuba Steve
    Penguins
    LBC

    Things are blurry and I can’t find the flag…

    COT with name off, Announcements,
    Animal was returned to Goose. pray out by Michelin.

    Everyone showed and put forth an awesome example of what F3 is all about. Strong work brothers.

  • July 4 America USA – from Goose

    YHC and Pope rolled up a little earlier than usual this Independence Day morning, hopeful that the day off of work would mean a bigger crowd than usual for Tuesday Tuff, and this PAX did not disappoint. Smooth and Michelin were already there at 5:00am, but Pope and I were still able to sneak over to the bumper area to set up some cones without anyone noticing. By 5:15, there were 12 strong ready for a patriotic sweat fest.

    Yankee had pulled off the perfect EH by picking up an FNG, the would-be Honeysuckle. We can all learn from this–it’s much harder to fartsack when someone’s sitting in your driveway. (Maybe that’s what we need to do for some of these “hc” specialists.)

    The warmup was frought with mumblechatter and unnecessary exercise explanations (YHC though it important to go into the details of how to execute the complex “high knees” exercise–I almost pulled out YouTube for some demonstration videos).

    We then moseyed to the bumper, YHC carrying BAPS into his first ever Bleep test performance. Once the PAX saw the cones, dread spread quickly. There were only a few who didn’t know what they meant, who hadn’t yet experienced YHC’s fascination with the layers of mental and physical dynamics at work within the Bleep test. This morning, YHC connected it to our celebration of the birth of our nation by pointing out that the defining moments, the heroic and selfless acts that have become the cornerstones of our identity as a nation would not have happened, would not have been possible without countless Americans pushing through countless unrecognized and seemingly meaningless difficulties, day in and day out. The bleep test is just a 20 meter (65-ish American feet) run, done over and over. That’s it. You just gotta decide to turn around and do it again, especially when you really don’t want to. And, the only reason we do this is because the man beside us, who we care about is doing it, because we want to get better together, because we want to be a part of something bigger than us, something meaningful that was earned through shared suffering. And so, we did. Nobody earned a medal (no participation trophies or rewards for softball music trivia), we just decided to keep doing another lap. And, if you didn’t make it before the beep, you stepped off to the side to plank up or complete 20 merkins to buy your way back in. Why? Because that’s where your brothers are suffering, and there’s no better place to be!

    YHC usually lets Paradiddle and Pope push him to the limits to be the last man standing, but this morning, having heard that the FNG was an ultra-marathon runner, YHC made a subconscious decision that if it ended up being him and me left at the end, that I would go no further, as long as the previous record of 70 lengths was broken. And, that’s exactly what happened. Paradox and Pope pushed farther than they have in the past, even without Paradiddle, but they dropped off somewhere in the high 60’s, which left YHC with Honeysuckle moving into #75. And, though I wondered how much he had in him, how well distance training translated into shuttle running, I was too winded to actually care and pulled up short before finishing #76. Honeysuckle was gonna keep going had YHC not called it, and though I was curious to see how long he could have gone, he seemed to appreciate the break.

    After moseying back to the flag, we circled up for song #1. BAPS lit us up with Ray Charles’s rendition of “America the Beautiful”. We held Al Gore for the duration and did Bobby Hurleys for every “America” and every old English words (“thee”, “thine”).

    Song #2 was the Armed Forces medley, which gave us the opportunity to work the core in a variety of ways. During the Marines portion, we did flutter kicks, Navy = boat/canoe, Army = American Hammers, Coast Guard = Scuba Steves, and Air Force = gas pumps.

    After this, YHC had a general idea for how we could focus on America’s unique sense of humor exemplified by the origin of the song “Yankee Doodle” and how it became a sort of theme song for the Americans during the Revolutionary War (look it up)–basically, we Americans are proud, but we’re good at not taking ourselves too seriously.
    I think it took more time for YHC to explain the story and then the routine (counting off, counting off within the count-off, naming teams and then teams within the teams, demonstrating the exercises, redirecting Yankee Joe) than it did to actually do the routine. I mean, it was a little challenging, a little fun to watch people try to Grouch-walk quickly, but ultimately, it was too complicated, and we ultimately scrapped it in order to get back to the flag in time.
    The routine was four corners on the sidewalk track: 1. Wacky Jacks, 2. Goofballs, 3. Miami Nighclubs (Moroccans with a step back and to the side), 4. Air Presses. The first member of the team would Groucho walk to the next corner while all members performed the exercise of their corner until they were relieved by a teammate Groucho walking toward them. It was supposed to look ridiculous, which it did, but most were lost in the endless explanations and directives given throughout. I hope at least the passing cars got a kick out of it.

    At 5:58, we had to rush back to the flag for the Star Spangled Banner–we laid on our sixes and held our feet six inches off the ground for the duration of Whitney Houston singing it live with a big band. Unfortunately, though, the drama and emotion were drowned out by the pain in the lower abdominal region, and it went the route of most songs used in F3–categorized under “hatred” and “PTSD”–especially given how long she held out “…braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave!”

    COT and the FNG became Honeysuckle thanks to Econoline’s immediate wit, which made the PAX wonder if he’s been sandbagging this whole time–nobody has that much brain function at the end of a beatdown these days.
    Announcements including Goldilocks’s upcoming VQ, and Paradox prayed us out.

    SYTIG,
    Goose

  • It’s Gonna Be a Good Day – from Paradiddle

    YHC has recently felt the fire within and has been trying to recruit new pax to join this lovely cult that we call a club (both F3 and WHOOOPgang). You see, today was supposed to be a big day for one of our own. After a Friday evening prethang with Goldilocks, as we prepared our bodies (and thighs) to be sculpted into the most beautiful figures mankind could ever lay eyes on – thanks to YankeeJoe, Goldilocks, after a little peer pressure from YHC, agreed to VQ today. After a small but strong showing on Saturday, YankeeJoe had me convinced that all of the pax were out of town on the beach, pina-colada with tiny umbrella in hand. YHC was merely looking out for Goldilocks (locks, or is it lox?) by wanting a strong showing at his VQ. Locks agreed, even seeming excited to have a bit more time to prepare for the chaos he wishes to unleash upon us all this coming Thursday.

    YHC arrived with two minutes to spare (impressive, right?) to find a full showing of pax, coupons already unloaded, cheeks clenched, and mumble chatter strong. YHC was happy, and with a big smile, we began.

    Warmups were the usual not knowing how to count off anything in cadence and consisted of:
    – SSH
    – Imperial Walkers
    – Grass Grabbers (w/ the clap)
    – Open the Gates (bringing something new)

    Mumble chatter was strong and YHC was so distracted that he nearly just got right in to the beatdown. Thanks to Lil’ Cuz piping up, we actually stretched our arms (and we needed to):
    – Arm circles
    – Cherry pickers

    THANG ONE
    – Indian run w/ 3 caboose burpees
    DJ DOX was quick to be ready with ever faithful JBL, and YHC just about put him in the grave when the decision to run in silence was announced to the pax. Sometimes you just have to be alone with those inner demons and face them head on. The pace was set and kept for the run with the exception of the ever popular Cardinal-pace. We stopped midway back to the stage for a group circle of 30 Bonnie Blair’s so that we could get a bonus burn in the thighs.

    THANG TWO
    – Step Up’s & LBC’s w/ Coupons
    YHC’s current favorite tv character, Mr. Ted Lasso, has a way with people. His positivity is contagious, and many of his colleagues are often annoyed with his upbeat nature and attitude. I feel similar to Ted here. Some of the pax like to acknowledge my smile when running the Diddle Death March and other popular exercises. After my dear Ted got put down in GroupMe last night (not gonna name names *honk*), I was inspired with this routine.

    The song was “Good Day” by Nappy Roots – a real bop , frfr. We would do lbc’s with coupons on the verses and step up’s on the chorus for the duration of the song. This was sure to get the pax in a great mood this morning! We can make the decision to make it a good day from the moment we sit up in bed (lbc’s) and take our first steps of the day (step up’s).

    Mumble chatter and grunts were at a minimum, but Cuz did set the record for the most amount of bird poop anyone has laid in.

    THANG THREE
    – Merkin Mountain
    After Yankee Joe’s inspirational sharty beatdown on Saturday, YHC might have a new favorite exercise – the Merkin Mountain. YHC adapted this gem into what I’m now calling the Merkin Flatlands (which might just be tougher than the mountain – Dox I repent of saying this would be easier, I was wrong).

    We would begin with one merkin, take one step(?) in a bear crawl, two merkins, two steps in bear crawl , three merkins, three steps in bear crawl, etc until we reached 18 merkins (thanks to Cuz who remembered how many the mountain had, but im pretty sure he remembered because he got to the top right behind shari’ah and stomped the rest of us).

    This…proved to be difficult. After hearing Econoline’s thunderous grunts from afar, YHc had to pivot and reduce the mountain to 15 merkins. Those 51 pushups really would have ate our lunch.

    THANG FOUR
    – Dora
    – 100 overhead press w/ coupon
    – Partner runs a lap
    – 200 Bonnie Blair’s
    – Partner Murder Bunny’s to the second picnic table & back
    – 300 Squats
    – Partner does mountain climber’s til he tags out and swaps

    The pax plowed through the over head press and running portion, and YHC was downright inspired by Smooth making that coupon look like he was lifting a box of Kleenex above his head.

    Goose, to no surprise after May’s ISI challenge, set the pace with the Bonnie Blair’s. This is where things got challenging. Murder Bunnies are rightly named, and the pairing with Bonnie Blair’s should have had them named something even more sinister. YHC was grateful for Pope absolutely destroying the majority of our 200.

    We timed out during the 300 squats so that we could get 60sec of Mary in.

    Leg raises and flutter kicks took us out.

    *I remain ever grateful for men that continue to push one another in their fitness and their virtue. It is not lost on me that most beatdowns go by and no one complains, no one grumbles, no one brings the spirit down. This is one of the first things that made me stick around F3. I know it is a part of our culture here in F3 Thib, and we would make Ted proud.*

    “Futbol (F3) is life!” – Dani Rojas

    SYITG,
    Paradiddle

  • Gonna Have a Good Day – from Paradiddle

    YHC has recently felt the fire within and has been trying to recruit new pax to join this lovely cult that we call a club (both F3 and WHOOOPgang). You see, today was supposed to be a big day for one of our own. After a Friday evening prethang with Goldilocks, as we prepared our bodies (and thighs) to be sculpted into the most beautiful figures mankind could ever lay eyes on – thanks to YankeeJoe, Goldilocks, after a little peer pressure from YHC, agreed to VQ today. After a small but strong showing on Saturday, YankeeJoe had me convinced that all of the pax were out of town on the beach, pina-colada with tiny umbrella in hand. YHC was merely looking out for Goldilocks (locks, or is it lox?) by wanting a strong showing at his VQ. Locks agreed, even seeming excited to have a bit more time to prepare for the chaos he wishes to unleash upon us all this coming Thursday.

    YHC arrived with two minutes to spare (impressive, right?) to find a full showing of pax, coupons already unloaded, cheeks clenched, and mumble chatter strong. YHC was happy, and with a big smile, we began.

    Warmups were the usual not knowing how to count off anything in cadence and consisted of:
    – SSH
    – Imperial Walkers
    – Grass Grabbers (w/ the clap)
    – Open the Gates (bringing something new)

    Mumble chatter was strong and YHC was so distracted that he nearly just got right in to the beatdown. Thanks to Lil’ Cuz piping up, we actually stretched our arms (and we needed to):
    – Arm circles
    – Cherry pickers

    THANG ONE
    – Indian run w/ 3 caboose burpees
    DJ DOX was quick to be ready with ever faithful JBL, and YHC just about put him in the grave when the decision to run in silence was announced to the pax. Sometimes you just have to be alone with those inner demons and face them head on. The pace was set and kept for the run with the exception of the ever popular Cardinal-pace. We stopped midway back to the stage for a group circle of 30 Bonnie Blair’s so that we could get a bonus burn in the thighs.

    THANG TWO
    – Step Up’s & LBC’s w/ Coupons
    YHC’s current favorite tv character, Mr. Ted Lasso, has a way with people. His positivity is contagious, and many of his colleagues are often annoyed with his upbeat nature and attitude. I feel similar to Ted here. Some of the pax like to acknowledge my smile when running the Diddle Death March and other popular exercises. After my dear Ted got put down in GroupMe last night (not gonna name names *honk*), I was inspired with this routine.

    The song was “Good Day” by Nappy Roots – a real bop , frfr. We would do lbc’s with coupons on the verses and step up’s on the chorus for the duration of the song. This was sure to get the pax in a great mood this morning! We can make the decision to make it a good day from the moment we sit up in bed (lbc’s) and take our first steps of the day (step up’s).

    Mumble chatter and grunts were at a minimum, but Cuz did set the record for the most amount of bird poop anyone has laid in.

    THANG THREE
    – Merkin Mountain
    After Yankee Joe’s inspirational sharty beatdown on Saturday, YHC might have a new favorite exercise – the Merkin Mountain. YHC adapted this gem into what I’m now calling the Merkin Flatlands (which might just be tougher than the mountain – Dox I repent of saying this would be easier, I was wrong).

    We would begin with one merkin, take one step(?) in a bear crawl, two merkins, two steps in bear crawl , three merkins, three steps in bear crawl, etc until we reached 18 merkins (thanks to Cuz who remembered how many the mountain had, but im pretty sure he remembered because he got to the top right behind shari’ah and stomped the rest of us).

    This…proved to be difficult. After hearing Econoline’s thunderous grunts from afar, YHc had to pivot and reduce the mountain to 15 merkins. Those 51 pushups really would have ate our lunch.

    THANG FOUR
    – Dora
    – 100 overhead press w/ coupon
    – Partner runs a lap
    – 200 Bonnie Blair’s
    – Partner Murder Bunny’s to the second picnic table & back
    – 300 Squats
    – Partner does mountain climber’s til he tags out and swaps

    The pax plowed through the over head press and running portion, and YHC was downright inspired by Smooth making that coupon look like he was lifting a box of Kleenex above his head.

    Goose, to no surprise after May’s ISI challenge, set the pace with the Bonnie Blair’s. This is where things got challenging. Murder Bunnies are rightly named, and the pairing with Bonnie Blair’s should have had them named something even more sinister. YHC was grateful for Pope absolutely destroying the majority of our 200.

    We timed out during the 300 squats so that we could get 60sec of Mary in.

    Leg raises and flutter kicks took us out.

    *I remain ever grateful for men that continue to push one another in their fitness and their virtue. It is not lost on me that most beatdowns go by and no one complains, no one grumbles, no one brings the spirit down. This is one of the first things that made me stick around F3. I know it is a part of our culture here in F3 Thib, and we would make Ted proud.*

    “Futbol (F3) is life!” – Dani Rojas

    SYITG,
    Paradiddle

  • Just Make Sure You Remember to Forget – from Yankee Joe

    It’s 1996 in Omaha for the 50th anniversary of the College World Series. It’s the Championship game between LSU and Miami. Warren Morris, who has been inactive most of the season due to a wrist injury, convinces the Skipper before the game to put him in the line-up.

    It’s the bottom of the 9th. LSU is down 8-7 against a prolific Miami Nine. Morris strolls to the plate with a man on third. There are two outs. The first pitch is a hard curve low and away. Morris swings with everything his wrist can handle…and it’s all over. Gone. The Walk-Off has been called by some the greatest moment in college baseball history. Morris certainly couldn’t know as he rounded second base that the Miami shortstop crying and pounding his fists in the dirt would end up being a three-time World Series champion – Alex Cora. Go Sox.

    So, if you’re LSU, you should remember 1996. Also, if you’re LSU, you should thoroughly absorb and then forget the Game 2 debacle yesterday as Florida hung 24 runs on ya. As Paradiddle reminded us about the quote from the great Ted Lasso. “Be a goldfish.”

    We would use ’96 and 24 for rep counts throughout. Just to keep us in balance.

    YHC arrived at The Stage about 20 minutes early to make sure that my burner phone would successfully hook up to BAPS. Smooth Operator was right on my tail, followed by Goldilocks, Cardinal, and Econoline. YHC had yet to meet Econoline, so this was an added bonus after a week hiatus due to being on the IR.

    Paradox rolled in with the shovel flag. He was followed by Montana and French Horn…wait no…they ballsacked again? I just assumed they would show up when prewriting my blast because they…you know…HC’d. Oh wait. They came up with their own version of “hopeful commit?” Is that a thing? Does F3 recognize that garbage? Regardless, Sans the Captain and the Pusher, the PAX finally closed ranks with the standard late arrival of Paradiddle. I’m running out of excuses to make for this guy.

    —————————-
    Thang 1: Skipping through the daisy fields – gotta be humbled.

    – (Mario punches) to sidewalk, 96 LBCs at sidewalk; then Mario punches back to stage, 24 J-Lo’s

    If you thought Cardinal was fast as a crab, you should see him tear up the pitch as a 1992 Nintendo character. I swear it looked like his feet never touched the ground.

    —————————–
    Thang 2: Humility and the Mumblechatter killer

    – Flying Nuns (lunge walk with baby arm circles) to sidewalk; 96 leg raises; Reverse Flying Nuns return to stage, 24 J-Los (2:1)

    It was during the reverse nuns that Paradox offered up his only real bit of chatter. Something to the effect of my fresh legs after a month off. If you want to keep chatter at a minimum, make YHC take the Q and don’t let Paradox get near Goose, Tana, or Enron. Take away his primary voter base, and his platform starts getting creaky.

    —————————–
    Thang 3: An American in Paris

    – Frog jump to sidewalk; 96 American hammers (1:1); Frog jump back to stage; 24 J-Los (2:1)

    This was impressive on all fronts. Smooth, Paradox, and Goldilocks traded the lead several times. I swear Goldilocks was clearing 6 feet with every jump. He and Econoline have added to what is becoming the stoic caricature of F3 Thibodaux. Like Smooth, Lil’ Cuz, and Superfun(d), these two maintain the same facial expression and just plain GRINDDD. No complaints, no chatter, no shortcuts. It’s pretty durn awesome. Also, did you know that Smooth is a J-Lo machine? His hips not only don’t lie, they’re straight up insulting your family and calling out your darkest fears. Kilmer would be proud.

    ——————————
    Thang 4: The Jake Sully

    – Zombie crawl to sidewalk; 96 Superman’s; Zombie crawl back to the stage; 24 J-Los (2:1)

    YHC believes that the zombie crawl is the single most effective (and awful) core exercise in F3. The correct form means your knees never touch the ground as you essentially elbow plank crawl with J-Lo’s. It’s brutal and it puts your lower core and obliques on full blast. It’s one of those barometer exercises that can clearly demonstrate your progress. Last March, YHC couldn’t go five yards. It’s a little better now. BUT Holy Dang, Paradiddle!!! His core strength is just stooopid.

    ——————————–
    Thang 5: Run Toward the Fire, Full Speed Ahead

    – Ongoing sprints to sidewalk, nur back until time (last 6 minutes) – goal of 24.

    I wish YHC could make some sort of commentary about the PAX performance at this point. However, my only memory between blackouts and Paradox simply flying was me yelling, “Do you want to be Morris or Cora?” I expected Goldilocks to give me a knowing nod. He admitted he had no idea what the hell I was talking about. Then it hit me that when Morris rounded the bases in that epic 1996 moment, Goldilocks wasn’t even born. I then looked around for my walker, but couldn’t find it because I couldn’t see without my glasses and was tripping over my balls…I mean dentures.

    COT and Econoline prayed us out.

    Good to be back in the swing of things. Geaux Tigahs!

    SYITG,

    YJ

  • Run to the Father – from Paradox

    9 strong at the stage and ya know dat bayou summer is in full swing when it’s a balmy 81 before you even slip on your mudgears. YHC rolled back in (after forgetting JBL on the charger) to a steadily growing group of Pax bolstered by a fresh wave of our seminarian Pax getting back in dat action.
    The promises had been free flowing in the preBlast groupme with commitments of all shapes and sizes. Hopeful commits, repeat HC fartsack offenders, cardinal fanning flames, Even a brand new “FC”. That’s a frog commit, when pickleball says Jump , you say how high?
    Ya really really hate to see it but we pushed forward.

    Duke! run back home and get the footage. Your still a good boy!

    Warmup
    A respectable set of the usuals with extra care for the lower back.
    The newest fad injury in F3 Thib is a tight back (although YJ will say he’s been doing it before it was mainstream) and after getting nuked by the diddle list on Saturday we all needed some careful grass grabbers.

    The Thang

    YHC decided that directly after Fathers day was a good time to cover the parable of the prodigal son. So many perspectives to reflect on from this amazing parable but today YHC wanted to focus on the contrasting emotions and inner turmoil of the father/son. YHC Just needed a good canvas for this medium and during a recent downRange vacation post YHC was introduced to the total brutality of a Jack Webb medley (shout out to HouseCall). It felt like a great way to express the conflicting inner emotions of the parable all while pondering if Thibodaux has any oxygen in the atmosphere.

    First we had to take the inheritance and run away. We formed up in a Indian run with a last man Drop off – 10 Carolina dry docks facing away , see your family getting farther away.
    We jammed to Ghetto Cowboy while we counted our inheritance cash followed by a choice Goose selection of Ford Econoline and all was right in the world…

    Feeling pretty good about ourselves with endless money we stopped for Jack Webb #1
    Merkins and Air Raises up to 10/20
    The son beats his chest while the father prays “why?”

    We moseyed on starting to feel the strain of responsibility but still depending on ourselves we ditched our van and set out on foot looking for love in all the wrong places.
    100ish yard Lunge to DJ Snake/Bieber “Just let me Love You “
    Are you a Beliber now Cardinal ?

    We continued forward in a Jello Mosey
    There is now a famine in the land, times are tough. But the son still depends on himself.
    We headed for the pig pen to get in the slop. (Perfectly placed port o potty)

    Jack Webb #2
    Captain Thor
    BBSU/American Hammers (3 count)
    The son is pulling himself up (BBSU) while the father continues wrestling with his absence (hammers)

    Time to Run Home
    No money
    No love
    No friends
    Deep in the slop just hoping for a bite of the pig food.
    The crucial moment of uncertainty. I will return to be my fathers servant , but will he accept me ?

    Air Squats/Mountain climbers
    1 squat and 2 MC to depict the son running to the Father who was not only waiting but fervently seeking him daily.

    Run Back home w guidance
    Pair up and one pax run while guiding is partner in Nur.

    Back Home
    Song
    – Run to the Father -Matt Maher
    We held Tipper Gores on the song (atleast initially) with jump tuck on Run and Merkins on Again.
    Legs got reallll wobbly.

    Animal shirt awarded to Goldilocks! Back to back posts and this man is in pretty good shape if you are taking notes at home. Stay golden brother.

    COT and Diddle prayed us out

    Great effort across the board and awesome to have Goldilocks and Econoline in the mix. Grateful to be alongside you men today and always a privilege to lead.

    YHC is often reminded of the repetitive nature of the “returning to the Father “ portion of this parable. So easy to get bogged down the moment we return to the ole pig pen especially when you have been there sooo much the pigs know you by name. But there is such deep consolation of knowing that even as we tire in repetitive sin our Fathers endless mercy is always waiting.

    SYITG
    Paradox

  • Daddy, I’m Prairie Doggin’ it! A Road Trip Story – from Yankee Joe

    Prologue:

    What are your favorite road trip movie moments?

    Was it when Clark Griswold packed the dead Grandma on top of the station wagon in National Lampoon’s Vacation?

    Or maybe you were inspired by Paul Costanzo’s quote in Road Trip when talking about the difficulty of taking shortcuts, “It’s supposed to be a challenge, that’s why they call it a shortcut. If it was easy it would just be the way.”

    Some of you might relate to Rat Race when John Lovitz’ daughter, needing the bathroom, eloquently exclaimed from the backseat, “Daddy, I’m prairie doggin’ it.”

    Of course, for my money, it’s hard to beat the moment when Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey) misses the turn for Colorado and instead ends up in Nebraska. When Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels) wakes up, he says, “I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.” Lloyd replies, “I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver’s full of shit, man.”

    That all said, the best road trip scene of all time is found in (one of many) John Hughes’ masterful works, “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.” Having missed his flight, Neal Page (Steve Martin) is desperate to get home. He meets Del Griffith (John Candy) who offers him a ride across country. While driving (and arguing), Del (Candy) claims that Neal (Martin) does things that annoy him. When Neal asks for an example, one of the greatest dialogues in cinematic history emerges:

    Del (John Candy): You play with your balls a lot.

    Neal (Steve Martin): I do NOT play with my balls.

    Del: (laughs) Larry Bird doesn’t do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!

    Neal: Are you trying to start a fight?

    Del: No. I’m simply stating a fact. That’s all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.

    Neal: You know what’d make me happy?

    Del: Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?

    Mic drop.

    ——————————-

    Background:

    YHC was fortunate enough to take his family on a road trip to Fairhope, AL last week. The sheer multitude of graces and blessings that come with such an opportunity does not escape me. That said, I think traveling with small children is another compelling piece of evidence that God does indeed have a wonderful and humbling sense of humor.

    YHC’s three children are beautiful, smart, kind…and absolutely horrendous travel companions and roommates. Holy crap, what is wrong with these people? But as any road trip veteran may tell you, it’s not the temper tantrums or the unbelievable lack of gratitude. It’s not even the fact that YHC’s 2.3 picked up a croquet mallet and started terrorizing everyone and beating their tables during dinner at the nice, peaceful hotel restaurant (this happened).

    The hardest part is their locking onto 4 or 5 songs and demanding them to be played on repeat for 120 hours. During that time, we listened to a lot of great music. We also listened to a lot of really, really awful music. I endured it like the IM3 that I aspire to be, but the resentment continued to build over days. As it wouldn’t be right (or in some cases, legal) to vent this frustration on my children, I instead gifted that frustration to the PAX.

    ——————————–

    The Beatdown Preamble:

    Four PAX showed on a nice, muggy Tuesday Tuff mernin’. Montana was already parked when YHC pulled up 10 minutes early. We’re uncertain if he showed up because of the shade YHC threw at him the night before. Goose rolled up, three-point turned like a boss, and backed up…cuz we gonna need those coupons. YHC then emptied the back of the minivan, cuz yeah, we gonna use bricks with those coupons. We were all awaiting Enron, full of energy and fluent in Spanish from a healthy boys’ trip to Mexico City. Alas, he could not show due to being a good father and taking care of a sick 2.0. Hope everyone feels better soon.

    The normal warm-ups, slightly extended to accommodate Paradiddle’s routine tardiness. At some point, somebody has got tell him that the beatdown starts at 5:15, not 5:23. While you’re at it, drop the same revelation on French Horn. It’s ok though. P-Diddy is coming all the way from Bourg. Wait, what you said? He’s not coming all the way from Bourg? Interesting. Regardless, he always brings some solid tank top energy much needed when Paradox is not in the house.

    ————————————

    The Thangggs:

    5 songs were offered. 3 of these could be used for psychological warfare. 2 of the songs are good, but have now been so played out in my house, I can never enjoy them again. In between each song, we engaged in some very active recovery.

    Song 1 – Hug a Turtle (:49) – 5:25 am

    by Parry Gripp – from his punk movement band, the Nerf Herders to creating false commercial jingles to writing children’s music, this guy has been pumping out content for over 30 years. And I hate him.
    – Hold Al gores, arms up with bricks, hug on “Hug a Turtle” with bricks

    Active Recovery (coupons and bricks):
    – 30 coupon LBCs; Mario punch with bricks to sidewalk; high knees/high arms back with bricks, 30 coupon LBCs

    —————————————-
    Song 2 – Geronimo (3:38) – 5:31 am

    by Sheppard – This one isn’t so bad until the 734th time you hear it.
    – Shoulder taps in duration; Merkins on “Geronimo” and “Bomb’s Away”

    Active Recovery (coupons):
    – Murder Bunnies to 3rd picnic table; 50 SSHs; Redrum bunnies back

    —————————————-
    Song 3 – It’s Raining Tacos (1:32) – 5:38 am

    by Parry Gripp – In honor of Taco Tuesday
    – Walk in place high knees; Burpee on “Taco”
    – Mosh jumps during refrains (yum, yum, yum); Hold Al Gore during slow reading of ingredients

    Active Recovery (coupons):
    – 25:coupon curls; 25 goblet squats; 25 overhead presses; 25 curls

    —————————————-
    Song 4 – Crazy People (2:28) – 5:45 am

    by Casting Crowns – seemed like it was written for F3
    – Six inch coupon leg hold; Refrain – Shoulder presses with coupon, legs down

    Active Recovery (coupons):
    – 15 thrusters, rifle carry to sidewalk, 15 overhead presses, farmer carry back, 15 thrusters

    —————————————-
    Song 5 – That’s Just My Baby Doge (1:02) – 5:53 am

    by Chicky Milky
    – High plank; Groiners on “That’s Just My Baby Doge.” (for me, this was the worst because the title of the song is the only lyric in the song, which means an F load of groiners)

    *At this point, Paradiddle offered the contact of a really good therapist. I don’t think he was referring to my back issues.

    Active Recovery (coupons and bricks):
    – Run/Nur Suicides with bricks (all picnic tables and sidewalk), track mosey

    2 minutes of LBCs IC

    —————————————
    COT and ‘Tana prayed us out.

    Kidding aside, even in the deep sleep deprivation of traveling with small children, I couldn’t help thinking about how much gratitude I instinctively have for the blessings in my life. To be clear, it has not always been that way. I know we often remark on the power of F3 and the camaraderie it provides. Self reflection and humility naturally follow. For me, it is important, if not crucial, to continue speaking these appreciations out loud. I’m showing up for God, my family, my job, and my community in ways that I never thought possible. Without reservation, that “showing up” is continuously fueled by each of you “showing up” for me.

    In a way, it’s kinda like hugging a turtle. Actually, it’s not like that at all. Paradiddle, what was that therapist’s number again?

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe

  • The Sound of Goosic – from Paradox

    Paindrops on poses and thick scars on mittens
    Bright cement coupons plus bricks and he’s smitten
    A huge box of cheez-it’s tied up with strings
    These are a few of his favorite things!

    When dat Dawg bites
    When JerfLee Stings
    When he’s not feeling rad
    He simply remembers his favorite things
    Then he doesn’t feel so bad!

    Duke! Stop frolicking in the Alps and roll that footage!

    YHC rolled in guns blazing to a stage audience of 2 for a Goose bday after party celebration. Our man turned 41 on Sunday and after laying down some deep tracks on Saturday (with a Dora that still makes me shudder) and relaxing on Sunday (his actual bday) , YHC could not let him escape without a full Roast . With a massive assist from Gooses M we cooked up a David Letterman style Goose Top Ten and unlocked the vault of Goose t-shirts/costumes to prepare the world to hear the sounds of Goosic.

    Warmups
    Regulars w Lunge Arm circles fresh from YHCs downrange summer camp.

    Tha Favorite Thang

    A David Lettermen Style Investigation as to Why Goose Brought the F3 Flame to Thibodaux

    10. Why did Goose start F3 in Thibodaux?? Some say to plant, grow and serve through male leadership? A fresh out of school journalist may stop there. No sir, not today. YHC knows you have to dig deeper for a full story. We went straight to the source and his M revealed that deep down the ole Gooseberry really just wanted to dance with somebody. (plus he LOVES Whitney Houston, what a coincidence!) So we throupled up and the initial plan was to side shuffle in a back to back throuple while listening to Whitney Houstons “Dance with Somebody” and while doing an air squat high 5 on every “somebody” and every “dance”…well that was the plan. What went down was some sort of joyous rain dance with side shuffling and several modifications later we told Whitney to dance with somebody else.

    9. Maybe he didn’t want to dance. Maybe he just wants a killer badonkadonk ? He did do roughly 5000 Blairs in the month of May ya know. So we throupled up and completed 100 Bonnie Blair with Apolo Onos as a timer and buddy it started to warm up quick.

    8. What if he just wanted to wear ridiculous outfits with his friends in public. I mean there is a history there (see Death Valley Spiderman) –Well it just so happened YHC was in full spiderman attire, so we had to get 10 PP merkins a sidewalk mosey and another 10 PP merkins.

    7. Maybe it was all a ploy to establish a network of IBS brethren so he could express his own flatulence freely? – If you or someone you know is spreading the lie of 1 shart/year then we need more awareness and support for Sharters Anonymous. We completed 10 mountain main poopers (prolly not what those were) side shuffled and then another 10 mountain man poopers.

    6. Perhaps he just wanted to do unlimited uncounted burpees and not worry about the count. Math is stupid. We completed a circle of pain burpee that with 3 pax ended up looking a lot like nonstop burpees. Almost had to put the hose on Goose and YJ for trying to do them too fast.

    5. Was he looking to start the next fashion trend? Animal, GiGi, and lets not forget the eye bleach event of his croptop/yoga pants combo that put several men into therapy. In honor of the Animal we did a Gorilla hop to the sidewalk and back.

    4. Possible that he really just wanted to make an army of super soldiers to continue to defend family values learned from St. JP2? YJ was donning the Polish soccer style shirt as a JP2 tribute and we shoulder to shoulder lunged to the sidewalk with mosey back while listening to…you guessed it “ WE ARE FAMILY!”

    3. Could it all be a way to distract us from the pain of burpees? A well-known event growing in Thibodaux lore is Gooses BurpeePalooza. Pretty simple, he brings a playlist, and we do burpees until we want to quit and that’s the half way point. YHC dialed up his favorite hit from Burpee Palooza #2….Peaches. Burpee on Peaches and modify rest because the spidey costume was getting unbearably hot and YHC was seeing stars.

    2./1. While the above number 10-3 are mostly satirical YHC needed to switch gears here (into my low professional voice) and speak truly about what Goose brings to the table.
    When YHC has come to him as a friend with a tangled mess of struggles he is always there with his simple and sincere phrase : “Gods got you man”. No lengthy theological discourse, no chest beating battle plan. Just his authentic experience that God has led him through struggle , that when we feel surrounded He surrounds us. We listened to “Surrounded/See a Victory” by Mass Anthem and held plank with merkins on” Fight, Victory, Surrounds”. (Thanks to Fancy Pants for this one)

    Wrapped up with Potluck Mary

    COT and YHC prayed us out

    Happy Birthday to ya Goose

    We are grateful for you as a leader, brother, and friend.

    SYITG,

    Dox

  • Fubar – from Goose

    FUBAR.
    It’s a term you may have heard if you, like me, have spent part of your Memorial Day weekend watching Spielberg’s great film where Captain Miller leads his men behind enemy lines to rescue Private James Ryan. The entire mission is classified as Fubar from the very beginning from the men, but they learn that only with the strength of one another and trusting the lead of their Captain will they successfully complete their mission. Today Being Memorial Day, it was only right that we should suffer a little bit more than usual to pay our respects for the men and women that have served our country so bravely by giving their life. This was the very reason Private Ryan needed to be rescued – because his brothers had given their very lives for the sake of their country.

    _____

    YHC barely arrived on time to find 9 PAX already at the Stage with coupons arranged in the most organized fashion. Warmups consisted of SSH, windmills, and high knees. Before YHC could complete warmups, Cardinal arrived carrying some speed in his Vandebilt blue speed wagon. Warmpus finished with butt kicks, and mountain climbers.

    Thang 1
    – Partner Bropee Mile Indian Run w/ Bonnie Blair’s –
    YHC’s list of strengths might be running and cardio, but giving clear directions definitely did not make the list. The PAX partnered up and completed 5 Bonnie Blair’s before racing to the front of the partner Indian line, stopping every 1/4 mile and completing some Bropees (a burpee completed alongside your parter ending in a high ten at the top of the squat jump). YHC had the Pax breathing hard, and by the time the group reached the half mile mark, the sounds of some old animal filled the quiet of the early morning. The only thing to distract from the animalistic breathing sounds were the welcome butt slaps from those running to the front of the line. In total, 28 bropees were completed.

    Thang 2
    – Ascending Testicles & Coupon Lunges –
    YHC’s thorough reading of the Exicon introduced the PAX to a few new exercises – one of them being Ascending Testicles (a cousin of balls to the wall – declined merkins that progressively have a more extreme angle). The Pax would complete 10 merkins on ground level, 10 declined merkins on the bench part of a picnic table, and 10 declined merkins from the table part of a picnic table, followed by lunging with a coupon to a different picnic bench across the pitch. This would complete one set. Ultimate VQ hype man/DJ extraordinaire POO-X came to the rescue by providing tunes to motivate everyone to push through the rush of blood to their brains. In total three sets were completed, leaving time for the final thang.

    Thang 3
    – Butkus + Lion King + a lil’ jog –
    Heart rates were resting in a steady zone 3, so a ten count was in order (YHC has no recollection of who let two 10 counts, because at this point, his mind was complete fubar). Another jumble of instructions from YHC proved to confuse the Pax. Perhaps it was the terrible instructions, or perhaps it was the mumble chatter coming from the marketing trio of Tana, Horn, and Joe, but YHC had to pipe up, let those furballs descend, and use an “outside” voice to finish explaining butkus (rapid step ups on a curb for at least a minute) and Lion King (low squat into a thruster with a coupon). Much to YHC’s surprise, the pax crushed three sets of 1min Butkus, 1min Lion King, and a lap around the pitch. Smooth was locked in pretending that coupon was one of his rugrats, and Horn couldn’t control his strength and began his streak of crushing coupons with his bare hands.

    The morning ended with two minutes of Mary – Freddie Mercury’s, leg raises, and probably something else – but YHC’s mind was indeed fubar by this point and thus no new memories were able to be made.

    6:00am arrived sooner than YHC anticipated, and it proved to be bittersweet. The nerves from the VQ were gone, and only laughs and sweat were to behold. Hopes of 13.0 strain filled the air, and YHC found himself basking in those good good endorphins that only F3 Thibodaux can produce.

    __________

    So, the Memorial Day beatdown mission turned out not to be fubar, but instead a witness and sacrifice in thanksgiving for the lives of those gone before us by giving their life. I remain humbled, grateful, and surprised but the continual growth of the men that continue to show up, put out, and suffer much to make themselves and those around them better.

    – Paradiddle