PAX: Paradox, Enron, Piccadilly, Smooth Operator, Honey Suckle, Safety Valve, Lil’ Cuz
YHC had this beatdown written out since early December and had in mind for a while only that the day of it would be the Monday after Yankee’s Goose Grinch version 2.0. YHC was conscious of its closeness to Christmas, until America’s Best broke the ice with the Goose commemorative on the Saturday before the fourth Sunday of Advent (one would think that someone would have at least done a Dox-themed beatdown by now). It wasn’t until the Friday before that YHC realized that that Monday was New Year’s Day and had to turn it over to Goose.
YHC arrived at the Stage on a bike (my old man being in Lake Charles) early to map out the sight and determine the specifics of the morning’s work, and saw Dox’s and Enron’s vehicles, but the gloom was empty. YHC made sure Dox wasn’t watching from a concealed position, grabbed some cones out of his truck and proceeded to determine the location of a bothersome amount of anthills while setting up.
Smooth pulled up right as YHC caught a glimpse of Dox and Enron running on Rich Man’s Loop—Dox continues to show the enthusiasm he has shown for so many announcements thus far (“Yeeah… Run-Cajun-Run comin’ up, talkin’ with NOLA, ten-man teams, count your best seven if French Horn’s on your team…); wait until right before to warm up? Yeah right!
Warmarama (honestly, who really is legitimately concerned with which exercises we warmed up with? YHC can’t recall them anyway…): Valve and Dilly rolled in, YHC attempted to set the mood for the intended theme—Tom Cruise’s Top Gun Maverick—and we Indian-ran (-runned?), with the six dropping for 5 2:1 Freddy Mercuries, to right about quarter-mile mark on the mile route.
It was then that YHC took a head count on how many of the PAX had watched the movie in order to get a “justified” amount of reps for penalty burpees. YHC’s heart sank very slowly as one or two out of eight slowly raised their hands. After no one had the foggiest idea what Maverick’s real name was, YHC decided to toss the theme and just go for it.
Thang 1 consisted of a short, easy mosey to the first left turn, a turn and an increase to about 60-70% speed until the stop sign, then a final left turn and a full sprint until failure/the next stop sign. Suckle stayed close behind YHC for most of the full run and had him really pushing to avoid being passed up. PAX executed a recovery mosey to the grass next to the ex-coupon corral.
Thang 2: all PAX partnered up and positioned themselves around an approximately 35×35 cone square and, on “go,” completed 5 T-merkins each to get the “plane” off the ground before entering the circle. Once in-bounds, PAX had to work together to “target-lock” all other opponents, a “target lock” achieved by tapping enemy PAX on the middle back (YHC did try to preserve the theme a little). Once tagged, PAX held plank outside the circle, completing 200 merkins (YHC audibled to 100) if both partners were eliminated. PAX also couldn’t stop moving under penalty of 4 dolphin-hops, so at times the environment seemed like a bunch of grown men were playing Minecraft in-real-life. Dox/Cuz ultimately emerged victorious, running victory-laps around the PAX doing merkins.
Thang 3 originally involved baseballs and a 30-yard sprint or two, but despite all the buildup to this morning, YHC forgot baseballs. YHC brought the PAX back to the flag and resorted to the good ol’-fashion Dora, with 100 merkins, 200 Freddy Mercuries and 400 SSH, with partner 2 running to the bumper and completing 5 star-jumps. Bonus points for those who actually remembered the star-jumps o the first go.
That left about eight minutes of Mary; COT—please keep me and everyone else going on the March for Life in your prayers and pray for an answer to ours—and Cuz prayed us out.
YHC was having flashbacks of the last time I Qed—I had to adapt essentially the entire beatdown to fit the Chimney at the Peltch after both the Low field and the IEW field were closed or occupied. YHC and all Qs who have found themselves in similar dilemmas are living reminders of the simple phrase, “none of us are professionals.”
Tag: The Stage
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Run, Maverick, or-whatever-your-name-is,Run – from Goose
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Who needs the 5th Grade – from Smooth Operator
Attendance
Lil Cuz
Yankee Jeaux
Popeye
Wet tap
Safety valve
Goats in machine in spiritThis morning YHC was excited to get back into the fold after Christmas and hunting season have hurt my posting numbers. YHC arrived at 0505 and the PAX started rolling in.
Warmarama
– SSH
– Imperial walkers
– Arm circles thanks to Yankee Jeaux
– Cherry Pickers
– high knees
– Butt kicks
– Mosey to coupon cornerMy first posting was 1/12/23 and I wouldn’t have done it if not for Goats in the Machine who happened to have the q that day. So, this beatdown is a modified version of Goats’ best work in my opinion.
Thang 1: Billy Madisons
• Perform 12 reps of and exercise and the run the walking path loop
• Add 12 reps of and additional exercise to each round
• Each round represents a grade level (you know like in the movie)
• Preform as follows”
o Kindergarten = Monkey Humpers
o 1st grade = Burpees
o 2nd grade = Chuck Norris merkins
o 3rd grade = Apollo uno’s 2 is one
o 4th grade = WW1 sit ups
o 5th grade = PenguinsYHC might have tweaked the exercises here, but I was really in the mood to do monkey humpers. Once we got to 5th grade, YHC decided to just jump to Thang 2 for time reasons. Who needs 5th grade anyway.
Thang 2 Catch Me If You Can”
PAX were partnered up in the field between The Stage walking loop and the subdivision entrance. The thang consisted of 5 squats while chasing each other via sprint and nerr for a couple laps across the field (edge of the parking lot to the white fence at the front of the subdivision).Apparently YHC was never paired up with someone who was fast because a nurring Safety Valve smoked YHC trying to sprint each time. The PAX knocked this one out.
Thang 3: 11s
• Freak Nasty & shoulder tap merkins/ Travel Bear CrawlThis was performed on the bird poo riddled stage. Freak nasty’s on brick bench, bear crawl through the bird poo and shoulder tap merkins on the other side. Goats was on to something with this one, because this Thang kicked my butt. The PAX finished with 3 or 4 minutes to spare, so it was time to head to the sidewalk and do a couple burpees with the cars passing by. I believe we did 10 or so before 0600. We circled up and counted off, did announcements, and Yankee Jeaux prayed us out. Thanks for showing up for the manniversary and having fun.
SYITG
Smooth Operator.
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Start From Where You’re At – from Goose
Six committed PAX started 2024 the best way possible, by posting at The Stage to face unknown suffering with anticipation and a desire to grow. YHC was excited to enter into the new year with such a solid group of brothers, but also dreading what was on the docket for the morning.
Warmups were the usual, full 20-count all around to work through the soreness from Saturday’s 12 Days of Something. Then, to work through that initial cardio wake-up burn, we did a set of 11’s: merkins and jump squats, carioca both ways. These proved to be quite the wake-up burn, to say the least. The merkins and jump squats were very much the break. Popeye settled into his steady groove, guffawing at the sprint pace that Tap and Pope started with. Cardinal and Cuz took the Popeye approach in order to save some steam for later, but this one lasted about five minutes longer than anyone hoped, and there was very little steam to be had.
Two ten-counts later, YHC took advantage of the opportunity for a new year’s pep speech to get the heart back to a sustainable pace. The gist was this: no matter how lofty the goal or courageous the journey, we all have to start somewhere, and that somewhere usually isn’t too pretty. Most of us focus on how awesome the destination will be, but once the reality of where we currently are and the difficulty of the grinding journey toward growth comes crashing in, many let the waves of discouragement wash them into a numb, disconnected state of sedentary survival. But, not this crew. Not today. Not this year. We would embrace the limitations and weaknesses that still linger within, see them for what they are, and push them hard. Real hard. It would be uncomfortable. Real uncomfortable.
No one was prepared to do it, and no one was really in a good state to do it, including YHC, but we would run a mile as fast as we could and time it to get a solid baseline, an authentic hard-stare at where we are right now. We had all stayed up later than we should have and ate and drank more junk than we should have, and our legs and hearts were still burning form the 11’s, but life is demanding, you know? And, it doesn’t wait for you to be ready. So, everyone on the line: get set, go!
Pope stayed with YHC (actually a few steps ahead) because he didn’t have a watch, and the rest embarked on 6-9 minutes of lonely maximum effort. It was truly impressive to watch each man roll in knowing that he didn’t have to do it, but he did. Here’s the numbers:
* Cardinal: 8:40
* Tap: 8:14
* Cuz: 8:04
* Popeye: 7:47
* Goose: 6:32
* Pope: 6:30After this, we gathered for a few Rings of Fire to burn the muscles out a bit and give the lungs a much needed break. Learned this one from Fracsac a couple of weeks ago:
1. hold plank, one man does 5 merkins counting out loud, then the PAX to the left picks it up and does 5 out loud while the first does those next five silently. So, each PAX does 10 in a round, overlapping on 5.
2. Same system, but holding Al Gore and doing Monkey Humpers (lots of great comments that I can’t remember here).
3. Same system, but holding 6 inches (tee-hee) and doing Leg RaisesWe had 8 minutes left for a solid Mary, which consisted of: wife pleasers, static wife pleasers, Little Manny Crunches, high, slow flutter kicks, Nolan Ryans, and two minutes of reverse plank.
COT and Tap prayed us out.
Super grateful for the effort of these men to post early on Jan. 1 and then to push so hard against felt limitations. So proud to be a part of this crew!
SYITG,
Goose -
Burpee, Merkin, Squat OH mile – from Safety Valve
It was another cool morning at the stage with 6 of the PAX showing up this early Monday morning. YHC tried to throw the bait out there with a Forrest Gump reference. Who doesn’t love a good Forrest Gump theme? But alas, they are all privy to my ways now… Bait them in and come out with a workout that doesn’t even involve anything in the hype. Hate to see it.
Warmaramma
SSH
Mountain climbers
Toy soldiers
Imperial walkers
Willy mays hays
Wind mills
Arm circles forward and backward
Self loveThe thang
It’s simple. Run three miles, do 60 burpees, 80 merkins and 100 squats.
Burpee mile – run a mile along rich man’s loop, stop at the previously determined stops (4 total) and do 15 burpees
Merkin mile – do it again but add 5 to the rep count to make it 20 merkins at each stop
Squat mile – plan was to make this 25 squats at each stop, but time was going to run short, so an Indian run mile took its place.
Bonus: Every member of the PAX has his own mile pace. Goose for example, is like Forrest Gump, he just keeps going and never slows. Others, including myself, likes a more leisurely pace. To keep the PAX together, YHC devised a social experiment. At each stop along the mile, whoever made it to the exercise stops and completed the exercise had to hold 6 inches until everyone caught up and finished the exercise. Would Goose slow down to prevent himself from having to do more work? Would the slower members of the PAX speed up to help a Goose in need? I really thought that goose would be holding 6 inches for 3 minutes at each stop, but something miraculous occurred. We kept together where the 6 inch hold rarely happened. YHC thinks most of us would agree we ran faster than we would have if goose wasn’t there. A humble goose would never admit he ran slower than he wanted so the PAX would stay together. It was a beautiful thing.
Finished with 1 minute of holding six inches while goose told a miraculous story that involved a man that was well endowed with more than 6 inches.
COT, announcements, prayers lifted up, goose prayed us out.
Always a pleasure to lead. Thanks for waking up, showing up, and pushing for a better version of yourself
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ADVENTure Wreath 2: Cawn all Ye Faithful – from Paradox
Here at F3 on da Bayou traditions abound new and old
And you’ll need more than Frozen grass and dank gloves to scare the bold
We’ve got Journeys to Bethlehem with starry coupon skies while Santa Valve and his McLevens ignore your cries
Frozen war stories on Tap at the Peltch with a sweet smell of Air biscuits no freshener can squelch
Smooths at the stage so the cheetahs can roam as We wait on the porch for #Tanacomehome
The ageless wonders of Rienzi plan beatdowns where shoes are nice and you know Diddles making his list and checking it twice.
Thus yHC found his old beatdown with all four candles and added some new flames to prevent love handles.Duke! Too early for eggnog !
roll the bean footage!!9 pax rolled in ready for ADVENTure with Pope and Goose helping YHC put the finishing touches on the lazer light cawnz.
Even an illusion of warmth was appreciated at a brisk 36 degrees!F3 Thibodaux lore dictates an ADVENTure wreath (TM) to have 4 components :
1: Heavy Coupon work
2: Matt Mahers Advent of Christmas Album( highly recommended)
3: Pyrotechnics
4 : 1 pax complaining about cold grassWe had 1-3 all ready to go but YHC was concerned about #4 until our local clergymen arrived a tad late. There…now we have all 4!!
let’s get after itStandard Warmup where we actually have to raise our core temperature and maybe the first beatdown of the year without bug spray. We couldn’t give Wet Tap the sweet victory of groans from Saturdays Iron Tap Challenge so we suffered in cold silence during the regular fare plus heavy MCs.
Bumper Mosey where I complimented Valves neck gaiter and he silently asked me to never speak again. It’s ok we are in a “rough patch “ but nothing a Panera gift card can’t fix.
Field update *
Continued Coupon Vandalism was discovered at the bumper!!
Two more coupon soldiers lost in senseless violence RIPAs Q during this discovery I’ve compiled a list of ppl most likely to harm an F3 coupon ..
Top Suspect list :
-CrossFit CrabTrap
-Cardinal
-CrossFit HomeBrew
-Cardinal
-Thib Regional Wellness Center
-Cardinal
-some misguided youthsInvestigation pending …
Back at the stage before launching into the wreath we had to
1. Clear our heart
2 make straight the pathCawns were lined up on the far side of the stage and Pax were split into teams. Goal was to run to cawns, 3 burpees , Nur back and put your cawns in a skrait line
It was during this explanation that YHCs vernacular hit 9.8 Homers on the redneck meter and only Gooses deep beatdown knowledge could translate what was about to happen. (Cone=Comb=Cawn)
Ended up 14-14 tie and our path was nice and strait. Sorry they didn’t have your fancy “speech therapy” at the Homer dollar general.Da main Thang
Setup: 4 cones spread out on picnic tables and one larger in center lit by an assortment of family flashlights and headlamps. This works best if your 2.0s ask why you are taking their headlamp and you explain to them it’s to keep your friends out of the fartsack. Shortly followed by an invite from your M to consider p90x again.
Rifle Carry to first corner
1st week – Hope/Prophecy candle
“Hope for Everyone “ Matt Maher (Advent of Christmas )
Hold coupon chest level w high knees
Goblet sqat on “Hope “
YHC hoped the goblet squats will cure genetic no acetol but maybe next year.Partner up for 100 thrusters
P1 Heels to Heaven
10 Thrusters each round then flip flopRifle carry to next cone
2nd week – Peace
Bethlehem candle1st corner , 2 donkey kicks 4 merkins
rifle carry to next cone and increase by 2:4 until complete with 8 DK/16 merkins
This explanation was met with so much silence and eye contact avoidance YHC felt like the Salvation Army bell ringer at Walmart.A few 10 counts later
Rifle carry to next corner
Week 3
Joy/Shepard CandleLeave the 99 , save the 1 .
Start in circle
Send 1 pax to the stage for 10 step ups and he selects an ab exercise while he is gone. AMRAP till he returns.
several ab exercises while taking turns rescuing the 1
Highlighted by JLos and WW3 sit-ups (Yote has started an unstoppable trend…smh)Rifle carry to next corner
Week 4 Love/ Angel candle
“He Shall reign Forevermore” Matt Maher
Coupon hops And Burpees on Reign
Great prep for skiiing season.Finished up at the Purity Candle
With Mary
Leg raises, LBCs, AHsCOT and Lox prayed us out
Grateful for you guys and the stability that God provides with our brotherhood.
Wrapped up with a solemn sweeping of the remnants of our inanimate coupon brethren.
Good night sweet coupon princes.
You calloused our hands but softened our hearts.You’re 5000 candles in the wind..
SYITG
PDox -
12/3 International Cheetah day – from Smooth Operator
12/3 work out
Today is international Cheetah dayLil cuz
Goose
Hand Granade
Wet tap
Cardinal
Pope
Safety valve
Yankee jeauxYHC Arrived running later than normal from a night shift with only 15 minutes of prep time due to a busy night at work. Prep time equaled 5 minutes of googling a theme for today, 5 minutes exicon searching for any work out that had to do with animals, 5 minutes of thinking about old beatdown exercises. After this I roughly wrote down some stuff between busting pipe flanges loose and steaming out equipment.
WarmaramaWe did normal warm up exercises.
After warmarama, we partnered up and chose a ball (baseball, tennis ball, football) then headed to the financial planner parking lot.
Thang 1
Wheel of Animal WalkThis one was taken off from of exicon and was the only thing that had any kind of connection to international cheetah day.the only thing YHC did was substitute Crab walks for lunge walks. It went like this
Frog Hop across, do 10 Merkins. Bear Crawl across, do 10 Merkins. Duck Walk across, do 10 Merkins. Lunge walk across, do 10 MerkinsThang 2
Relay raceAfter that we played the relay race game chiding between a baseball, football, and tennis ball. The rules are you can only advance the ball by throwing it to your partner. The race took place around rich man’s loop and back to financial office parking lot. The penalty for a dropped pass was 5 burpees. After game wet tap and hand grenade the winners of the race did 20 star jumps while the rest of us losers did 30 monkey humpers.
Thang 3
Bear crawl suicidesUpon completion of that we went to financial parking lot and did bear crawl suicides to each yellow line in parking lot. The kicker is partner 2 will doing a-rods while partner 1 is bear crawling to the next line and back.
Thang 4
After this YHC made a game time decision and we headed to the hwy 308 side walk to do a game called You Honk We Burpee as per Lil Cuz. Basically the game is every time a car passes do a burpee. Due to slow than normal traffic, YHC decided with the last 6 minutes we would do 6 minutes of Mary. The order went like this. Goose called out Dr. W, Yankee called out dolphin hops in honor of Dr. Dox. Lil Cuz called out penguins. Wet Tap called out tempo leg raises. Around this time Lil Cuz had voiced a great idea which involved temp squats. YHC stopped Mary 2 minutes short and we did tempo squats on Wet Tap’s count until 0600.
After the 2 minutes of tempo squats we did Cot where Safety Valve passed the animal shirt to Hand Grenade (our local down ranger who kicked butt today) and prayed out. Special intention for Lil Cuz’s M and new 2.0. Thanks for dealing with my 15 minutes of planning.
SYITG
Smooth Operator -
Tower of terror – from Wet Tap
11-27-23 Tower of terror
A surprisingly cold Monday morning following a Diddle birthday beatdown blowout had YHC wondering, who would show and how much they would hate me for building this beatdown?
Yes it’s true, I no longer head to the gym where metal weights and yoga pants fill the void in my life.
Now, a bunch of sweaty guys in short shorts and witty humor keep the wheels turning. Why I am here? Where did cargo shorts go? Perhaps that’s why a coupon heavy beatdown for the this graciously accepting PAX was created.Warm-a-Rama
SSH
Toy Soldiers
Willie May Hayes
Arm circles in all the ways
Cherry Pickers
Self Love (love yourself quickly SV… like no one is watching)Thang1. (Construction)
A little team building work. Emphasis on building. The Pax partnered up for some Dora.
Each person had a 20 merkin buy in. partner 1 sprints to the coupon corral(120yd) while partner 2 performed SSH. Partner 1 rucks the coupon to the stage to begin the building process. Coupons are stacked to build a tower. Highest tower wins.
The merkin buy in was abandoned half way through for time constraints, and only having 5 Pax made this a little bit more challenging.
As we rounded the end of the thang, one coupon remained. It was Pope vs Valve. A full out mosey ensued. Anxiously waiting for their return, not knowing what atrocities may have taken place deep in the gloom, pope emerged holding the trophy. But wait, behind was a valve making up ground, not defeated but enraged. In his hands, he grips the remains of a previously fallen coupon. Two perfectly spit pieces.
As they return, the height of the two towers have grown to an unreachable altitude. Improvising, YHC assumes the human step stool and we crown ourselves as champion.
Both towers were crowned and a quick picture was taken to bask in their glory.Thang 2. (Grunt work)
Easy instructions, minimal chatter, callous building.
Each PAX performs:
100 coupon curls. 50 coupon swings.
100 tricep press. 25 we’re not worthy
100 forearm curls each arm.Thang2. (Deconstruction)
3 burpee buy in for each as parter 1 rucked the coupon back to its home while partner 2 performs WW3 sit-ups. Yes, I said WW3 as I ran away with the coupon not making eye. I could hear the discontent as I tried to make amends. It’s not what you want, it’s what’s best for you. Trust me.Time fell short as I had more in the bucket of fun, but maybe next time.
All in all, it was a fun day at the Stage for us all as you can see in the picture, most are still smiling. Thanks to the PAX for making these dumb ideas of mine come true. -
Just One More – from Paradox
Misty rain, mysterious gif riddles, and relentless cane trucks were no match for the 8 high impact men at the stage today. YHC has been itching to get back out on a Monday as there is no better way to start the week. Tuesday Tuff may have the glitz and glamour but I knew the real fun was secretly being had on Momentum Mondays. That’s where the pax were really asking the hard hitting questions. Like todays…just why is flatulence so funny?
Have you ever pondered it.
We have a multitude of other audible bodily functions right? But no one even bats an eye at a really loud sneeze, in fact we offer them blessings! A burp? First, you have to excuse yourself, then you have to go home and change the snapping turla soup recipe. Crack your knuckles and you just mean business. Even a loud tummy rumble and we feel empathy for ones hunger. But what about ole tail feathers…yes, the fart transcends time AND space. Consider the following scenarios. At the bedside of a passing loved one and they rip one.. laughter (from all parties). In the delivery room of a new life and a seconds old baby writes their first backblast..hilarious! (and cute!) Stranger in line at the post office rattles your cage..I’m reporting it to my wife with cry emojis before I even check out! At face value its trapped gas escaping your gastrointestinal tract but I’ll bet your at a low giggle just now even thinking about it. Just one of Gods great mysteries.
Why did we ask it today…Lots to unpack here. Let’s climb in.Duke! Stop tasting your own brand and roll the footage!
Warmup
Standard issue with low chatter about soreness from the Architects Veterans Day beatdown and Partner Carrie’s on Saturday. (YHC nixed todays partner carry’s on the fly, listening is one of my hobbies ya know)
Chillier than expected with intermittent rain gusts, might have been a Ronnie long sleeve day. YHC was ready to get the party started just to raise the body temps.Mosey to the Coupons and Dilly and Diddle joined the fray cursing the schmukity schmucking cane trucks in unison.
Da Thang a Lang
Memorable Men Monday
Volume 3: Desmond Doss
Previously on MMM (working on trademark rights so we can compete with Tuesday Tuff (TM) all rights reserved.) We have covered Sir Ernest Shackleton and St. Max Kolbe so the bar is pretty high and today called for a spotlight on veterans.
Desmond Doss was a US Army corporal who received the Medal of Honor as a conscientious objector. Refusing use of weapons or violence due to his beliefs he was assigned as a combat medic. During the WWII Battle of Okinawa his company was assigned the task of taking a steep plateau amidst the rock formations known as Hacksaw Ridge, due to its intimidating terrain and being riddled with enemy caves.
In a 12 hour period he saved 75 men , carrying them or hauling a stretcher up and down the ridge. Unimaginable courage under unthinkable conditions.
**The PreHype Gif Riddle was a picture of Desmond Doss scaling Hacksaw Ridge, later played by Andrew Garfield (spiderman) in the movie directed by Mel Gibson (Braveheart) who was ever so appropriately yelling freedom which Corporal Doss and his combat were serving to protect for us. **
Circle of Pain Thrusters
We did 75 as a group to honor the 75 men that were saved and to prime the quads for what was to come . YHC took a moment here to reflect that in a previous beatdown maybe 1.5 ish years ago YHC dialed this up and it was a near death experience. There was moaning, four letter words and several pax (YHC included) updated their Last Will and testaments. But today it was considered a light warmup for the coupon elite. Ho Hum just a few thrusters while we have tea and wait for the real work. Mannn ! The fire and flames of IPCs, JurpTobers, hoosker dos, hoosker donts and high level beatdowns has the iron of F3 Thib looking sharp as ever. T-Claps.
Left coupons in Stonehenge mode with Mosey to the starting line of Richmans loop.
Introduced a Swedish dish called Fartlek a La Merkin
YHC needed a running thang to encompass covering long distances and sprinting to simulate avoiding bullets. Until late yesterday evening it was a gap in the beatdown construction that left YHC befuddled. Little did I know Goose was standing at his sink , elbow deep in dishes, using the telepathic communications gained with shared suffering of countless beatdowns. Standing at my own sink of dishes I could sense it…Like a scratch I couldn’t itch ..or a fart I couldn’t quite taste…wait a minute!!! Duke get the ancient scrolls..
The introduction of the Fartlek is at atleast top 5 on my list for Goosies greatest hits and it worked well for todays theme. We moseyed 3 light poles then sprinted the 4th with scattered merkins to complete 75. The pax performed well and with the power vested in my by the State of Louisiana Medical Board I pronounce you certified Fartlekkers.
Merkin Variations:
Werkins
Ranger
Diamond
Staggered
Regular
Slow merkins
RaRaJaBurpee back to da Couponz
One of the many stories of Corporal Doss’s bravery involved him kicking a live grenade away from his company. This received one of his many injuries and several pieces of shrapnel.
To honor this we paired up for RaRaJaBurpee from Richmans straight away to the coupon pile.I’ll take this time to formally apologize to Valve for his pairing today. We started in a great position to win and He was putting his Futbol skills to use with monster well placed kicks. YHC was all over the place, too much mustard..then not enough! yielding us a dreaded loss to the formidable Dawson duo.
To be honest YHC lost track of the other couples in the heat of competition but no ankles were broken and much fun was had.
Next up to honor the wounded carry techniques that Corporal Doss used up and down Hacksaw Ridge we had 1 pax Bar Lunge to cone and back while Rest of Pax did AMRAP :
Curls
OHP
Squats
SSH
Leg Raises
Freddy Merks
Lastly we did burpees without knowing the time or the reps.
“Just One More” – AMRAP Burpees till 6amCounting , Naming, and shenanigans
COT and Diddle prayed us out
Dox of Chocolates:
Its very easy for YHC to get swept away in distraction. And a lot of days its the currents of anxiety that can be the swiftest. What’s ahead? What’s behind? Am I prepared for this? How long will this last? Why does xyz happen only to me etc. etc.
So it makes me even more grateful for stories like todays about Corporal Doss, where we see dependence on God immediately followed by His provisions. A reminder that when all is said and done whether its the next crisis, the next family drama, the next appointment, the next day or even the next hour… we can say “Lord help me through one more”.Grateful for the opportunity to lead and to stand beside you men and ask for one more.
SYITG,
Dox -
The Twerkin Merkin – from Safety Valve
It was another foggy and smoky Monday morning as YHC arrived earlier than usual at The Stage to set up for the beat down. After the last few Monday’s, YHC did not have much hope for a large showing. That seemed to be true as I stand there… all alone… at 5:10am. There was a back-up beat down planned as well just in case of low numbers. Then, as if Moses parted the sea and the Thudercats united from every which way, 5 of the PAX joined and the original beat down could be enjoyed.
Warmaramma
SSH
Imperial walkers
Willy Mayes Hayes
Mountain climbers
Cherry pickers
Arm circlesThang 1
1 mile run
That is all. Just a run. For a mile. No motives. No ridiculous mumblechatter. No burpees. Just running with a group of guys and our own thoughts.Just as we were starting to enjoy the quiet calm run, a dark figure appeared from a dark alley and at first YHC thought we were about to be mugged. All that could be seen from a distance was a silhouette of the perfection of pectorals, biceps, thighs and calfs. Then YHC thought there was only one person in the world with that physique. Tap sprinted rich man’s loop to catch up with us and joined in the alley between houses. And then there were seven. This odd number eventually led to one of the greatest things YHC has witnessed as an F3 thibodaux member… [insert catching phrase to captivate audience and grab attention]
Thang 2
YHC likes to experiment in all things of life , so after going through the depths of the exicon, a few things we have not done yet caught the eye. The PAX was a split into two doubles with one thruple group.AMRAP – 20 minutes, switch stations every 2 minutes for 2 rounds at each station
Station 1: Ascending testicles on picnic tables – 3 levels of merkins (ground, feet on seat, feet on table top), 5 reps at each level. Continue until time called.
Station 2: Captain thors – BBSU + American hammer (1:4), adding to the number with every rep. Goal was to get to 10 BBSU with 40 American hammers.
Station 3: doracides – 1 partner sprints while the other completes LBCs to a total of 100
Station 4: CPRs (curl to overhead press to tricep extension)
Station 5: Squerkin (partner one does merkin while partner two holds partner 1s feet, partner 2 then does a squat, alternating every 10 reps)Observations:
1. Ascending testicles will show up in additional beatdowns. Not only for the name but for how tough this was. With every level, it felt like adding an extra 20 pounds to the merkin.
2. Captain thors. The American hammers were more difficult than previously thought. YHC was only able to make it through round seven (7BBSU followed by 28 American Hammers). Need more of these in beatdowns to build up goose level stamina.
3. Two minutes was the perfect time to complete these. Somehow the distances between the cones seemed longer than YHC initially placed them at. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen that caused my confusion. Maybe it was Goose low key adding a few feet between them every suicide. The world will never know.
4. CPR – coupon curl to Overhead press to tricep extension. YHC thought this through prior to the beatdown and it seemed like it would be difficult to go from the tricep extension back to the curl in an easy/safe way. So, the tricep extensions were left out for just the curl to OHP. This also proved to be a difficult transition unless you had the grip strength of a gorilla. Recommend against these in further beatdowns.
5. … the squerkin. YHC and Cardinal have gone through our bromance at exponential pace for meeting really just 3 months ago. Most take a relationship slow. Get to know each other first prior to squerking together. Not this couple. First, hitting it off over coffee memorabilia, second being partners for SV500, thirdly squerkins. Seeing a man in this way can never be forgotten. On our last set, as YHC was awkwardly trying to curl and overhead press, my eye was drawn to a magnificent site. YHC has never seen three men move in such harmony than Goose, dilly and Tap did this morning. Dilly doing merkins, Wet tap with one leg, Goose with the other moving in perfect synchrony while doing squats and merkins. Seeing it in real time YHC would like to name this off shoot of the squerkin the Twerkin Merkin. After calling time, Goose mentioned that if the squats were done at the same time as the person doing the merkin it adds extra weight to the squat. Leave it up to goose to critique an exercise and find a way to make it harder. It is a gift for him and a curse for everyone else.Time was called on the AMRAP, 4 minutes of Mary commenced (flutter kicks, penguins, Nolan Ryan’s), COT, finished with announcements and goose prayed us out.
Always a pleasure to lead. Thanks for waking up, showing up, and joining me in the gloom.
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Men, Saints and Jurpees – from Paradox
-Can a man change over time?
-Can a beatdown plan pivot on the spot when the need is great?
-Has YHC listened to the song “When the Saints go marching in” a single time in his life ?
-Was man created to Jurp alone?
These were the questions 9 High Impact Men had to ponder on a crisp cool (dare I say chilly) Tuesday Tuff at the stage.
On Saturday at the Peltch we searched for the monster within and YHC thought it only appropriate on All Hallows Eve that today we search for the Saints within. (Plus I used up most of my primo Haloween material) YHC also had the privilege of leading the beatdown on the last day of Jurptober so there was no pitch left but the surgically repaired fastball. YHC had a loosely knit plan to go heavy burpees/merkin. But you know how it goes , sometimes God sees your plan thinks it’s cute and suggests ManMakers instead.Duke!! you are not the patron saint of baked beans
Roll the footage!Warmup
Props to the 3 pax who came in costume! Goose was terrifying as Dredd, Pope looked valiant as Pat Tillman and YJ was spot on as “that guy from college that wore a t-shirt in cold weather to impress the ladies”. Groundhog Ronnie was sporting long sleeves which tells us it was somewhere between 30-50 degrees F. (If that man puts on pants you will need Vaseline to keep your eyelids unfrozen ). We did all the usuals with some MCs to get the blood dispersed evenly.
Ominous mosey to the Coupon Depot
I had intended this little warm up song to be standard issue IW/burpees format. But when I saw the way Wet Tap was looking at those coupons…I hope my children look at their spouses with that much love one day….that’s when the audibles began. Who am I to rob a man of his God given right to lift heavy concrete?
Song
“When the Saints go Marchin in “
Curls on song
2 Man Makers on Saint
(24 man makers, laughable amount of curls)
YHC knew this would be pretty humorous as soon as we got started. Listened to this one on the way to the beatdown and I could have sworn there were only 4-5 “saints “ in there. Pesky memory.Thang 1
The Road to Sainthood
YHC has recently been fascinated by the process of Sainthood. The scrutiny , the interviews, and the thorough search of a life for holiness. It can reveal so much about how we can strive for this in our own lives and the variety of grace God bestows on the saints when they depend on him.
There would be 4 stops
*Indian run there with drop off 3 burpees , it felt right.
25 Big Boys (servant of God)
25 v ups (Venerable)
25 burpees (Blessed )
25 man makers (Saint)Again this was originally going to be merkins and burpees at the end but the call of the man makers won out.
So now we have an idea of the process of sainthood. Another amazing aspect is the wide variety of vocations God calls us to. As CS Lewis said “how monotonously alike are all the tyrants and conquerors, how gloriously different are the saints. “
So we would try our hand at a little Patron Saint Trivia.Correct – 7 burpees
Incorrect – 7 burpees, bearcrawl , 7 merkinsPatrons and Saints below :
PS of retreats/retreatant-St Ignatius
PS of Academics- St Thomas Aquinas
PS of doctors – St Luke
PS of Eyes- St Lucy
PS of Finance- St Matthew
PS of Musicians- St Cecilia
PS of Engineers- St Patrick
PS of Internet- St Isidore of Seville
PS of Parish Priest – St John Vianney
PS of Military- St MichaelThe men crushed these and racked up 70 burpees in a flash. And YHC was shocked to look down and see 2 minutes left on the clock. Another audible
Only one way to finish the beatdown portion of Jurptober …
AMRAP man makers.
It was glorious , pretty sure Wet Tap cried tears of joy.Amazing effort here by all.
Back to the flag for numbering naming and such.
Announcement
**F3 Thib MAnniversary Thursday at the peltch**Goose Farewell Party Nov 12
COT and Goose prayed us out
Mega shoutout to all the hard core Jurpers out there. I’m sure YJ and Goose will be covering this more eloquently but there was some serious iron sharpening going on this month.
Glad to see dat Dawg alive and well with the Thib pax.Thank you for the privilege to lead today men.
Epilogue
The following is a journal excerpt from Vatican records of the Cardinal Cause of Saints in the year 2623 during the investigation of the last documented Miracle of Blessed Yankee Jeaxsiphine.
It’s recorded from the personal writings of a Franciscan friar, Fr Paradox the 19th. He was tasked with finding and interpreting ancient USBs from the year 2023 , the year it was reported that the Blessed Jeaux had organized a men’s workout challenge called Jurptober…
Journal Entry -Fr Pdox
Nov 2, 2623:Today I completed my life’s work.
After years of searching the deep jungle bayous of ancient Thibodaux my team discovered the USB from a hut in the Rienzi Temple district. After careful extraction of the data we reviewed , my team was baffled. It contained data accumulation that should take 20 men 2 years to compile but there was only one with admin privileges in 30 days!
How…how could it be? One man! This much data , it was so neatly organized, this much dedication to iron sharpening ?! My eyes went blurry as I realized I was looking at the final miracle of Blessed Jeaux. I wondered what had driven a man to this level of commitment. then I read a tiny note accompanying the usb. It was one of Blessed Jeauxs original entries dated Oct 31, 2023.“Today Dox was nice to me, maybe …maybe, we can all change.”
I want to be in that number …when the Saints go marching in…
SYITG
Dox