F3 New Orleans

Tag: The Stage

  • The three little pax – from Safety Valve

    It was a beautiful morning. The stars shone bright.
    But, only three little PAX decided to put up a fight.
    Those three little Pax were in fact not so little.
    They all thought they were as mighty as Diddle.

    Pope with his 17, I mean 16, year old endurance.
    Goose there with his unwavering reassurance.
    YHC just trying to keep up with them wondering if he has enough life insurance.

    Dox was ridding his house of Covid.
    While all the others just fartsacked-the-bed.
    AB was neither seen nor smelled.
    Lil Cuz stayed where he dwelled.
    Enron was busy dreaming of crunching some numbers.
    White meat had fallen into a deep slumber.
    Honeysuckle was tending to his hive.
    Yankee Jeaux, are you still alive?

    Those three mighty PAX did great deeds.
    In fact a total of 55 Burpees.
    Three miles they ran by each empty lot.
    Afterwards they completed 55 Goblet squats.
    They continued to push and continued to strive for more successes.
    In the end they did 55 overhead presses.

    #Renewyourvalves
    Funnest beatdown ever… This group is awesome. There will always be at least one person to stand by you. Thank you to Goose and Pope for being those men today. Enjoy the extra day off and the extra time with family. We will get back to work tomorrow.

  • Neuron Expanding Recreational Fun – from Paradox

    YHC has always been fascinated by what the human body can do under extreme pressure. YHC recently listened to a podcast interview of Cole Hocker, and he described basically blacking out on the last leg of his crazy gold medal 1500m finish. WILD right? But it got me to thanking. What could our “slightly less than gold medal track athlete” pax perform when given the right pressure.

    Early this year, AB introduced a paradigm shifting beatdown based on the fact that everyone knows an unhealthy amount of information about at least 1 or 2 topics. Sometimes, ashamedly so. It hooked several pax into the Learned Llama multiverse you see today plus introduced a new wrinkle to an already strong group of exercise/trivia pioneers. YHC has been tinkering with alternate versions of it since and below is the result.

    So here’s how the game works.
    YHC names an exercise for each round then Pax will Hold Al Gore around an ominous coupon pile.

    YHC will then name a list of words one by one with a few seconds in between for thanking.

    Your goal is to name the common factor of the list as fast as possible.
    You will get one shot per pax , if you are incorrect you will start SSH (later ti be converted to burps) until the round is over.
    If correct then we will stop on that round and do the corresponding reps (after 1 -10 reps , 2-20 etc)

    Example

    Brown (10) ….Black(20) …paddington (30) Polar (40) … Grizzly (50) … all bears and you have an increasing chance at getting the correct association but as options increase so do the reps.

    Duke!
    Glove up, summers over and we got some iron to sharpen!

    Standard warmup with that big Pax energy when several cars roll up at once that makes YHC all warm and fuzzy inside.

    We started where the Bible begins and most friendships end…with the members of Genesis.

    1.) Tony Banks
    2.) Mike Rutherford
    3.) Phil Collins
    4.) Peter Gabriel

    Early guesses at drummers but we went 30 Reps and there were grumbles that sounded an a lot like Sussidio.

    National Parks (Star Jumps)
    1. Teddy Roosevelt
    2. Glacier
    3. Arches
    4. Grand Canyon
    5. Yosemite

    AB flashing his generational trivia talent and we took 20 reps.

    Army Bases w “Fort” at the beginning (HR Merkins)

    1.) Campbell
    2.) Carson
    3.) Detrick
    4.) Bragg
    5.) Hood

    Had this loaded for Pop and he didn’t dissapoint with the early answer for 20 reps.

    Speed Skaters (Bonnie Blair’s )
    1.) johan olav Koss
    2.) Eric Heiden
    3.) JR Celski
    4.) Apollo Ohno
    5.) Bonnie Blair

    This one went deep for 40

    Pokémon (Coupon Curls )

    1.) Spearow
    2.) Pidgey
    3.) Weedle
    4.) Charizard
    5.) Pikachu

    Lil Cuz with the performance of the day. He blamed his 2.0 toy pile but we all know he’s got dat Arcanine in him.

    Satellites (Goblet Squats )
    1.) Terra
    2.) Aqua
    3.) LandSat8
    4.) Explorer 1
    5.) Sputnik

    40 Reps
    Not a peep from our resident beekeeper.
    The man just likes others to improve I guess.

    GI Joe (Ranger Merkins)
    1.) Roadblock
    2.) Shipwreck
    3.) Zartan
    4.) Duke
    5.) Snake Eyes

    30 reps
    Knowing is half the battle.
    Ranger Merkins are the rest.

    Members of *NSYNC (Apollo Ohnos)
    1.) Chris
    2.) Joey
    3.) JC
    4.) Lance
    5.) Justin

    TANA!!!!
    From the rafters the Peoples Rep saved the pax from atleast 20 extra Ohnos until we got to JT.

    Vice Presidents (box jumps)
    1.) James S Sherman
    2.) Levi P Morton
    3.) elbridge Gerry
    4.) John C Calhoun
    5.) dick Cheney

    40 box jumps were contended by pope who reported a whispered correct answer so we split the difference and did 25. Complex numbers are my thing.

    Triple Crown Winners (Carolina Dry Dox)

    1.) Omaha
    2.) Gallant Fox
    3.) Seattle Slew
    4.) American Pharoah
    5.) Secretariat

    30 Reps as Maneater started to heat up.

    CMM (Thrusters)
    1.) Birdman
    2.) Turk
    3.) BG
    4.) Manny Fresh
    5.) Lil Wayne

    Maneater again
    He’s On Fire!

    Heisman trophy winners ( Merkins )
    1.) Jay Berwanger
    2.) Billy Sims
    3.) Steve Spurrier
    4.) Desmond Howard
    5.) Tim Tebow

    A few chuckles at Wanger but then HS got down to business and ID’d spurrier as a champion.
    30 reps.

    Bankrupt Companies
    (Decline Merkins)

    1.) pacific gas and electric company
    2.) Washington mutual
    3.) Silicon Valley Bank
    4.) Lehman brothers
    5.) Enron

    30 reps as mutiple pax supplied this one.

    DDay Beaches – WW3 sit-ups

    1.) Sword
    2.) Gold
    3.) Juno
    4.) Utah
    5.) Omaha

    Pope/Pop are a force of military history to be reckoned with.

    Van Gohg paintings (Thrusters)
    1.) The potato eaters
    2.) almond blossoms
    3.) cafe terrace at night
    4.) self portrait w bandaged ear
    5.) starry night

    40 Reps to finish us out but these larks were saved by the bell.

    COT and Prayer intentions
    HS prayed us out

    Amazing seeing the collective pax mind under pressure. The hidden talents of this group never cease to amaze YHC.

    Thanks for the privilege to lead.

    -A Dox of Chocolates

    Imagine you are one of 86 billion brain cells. All with important tasks for sending and receiving messages at 100 meters/second. The capability to solve complex formulas, write ballads , or serve your fellow man awaits at a moments notice. Butttt instead you only get one assignment. Just once in 40 years you will be asked to associate the memory of two random NSYNC band members and It will save many men from coupon thruster destruction.

    “Bye, bye, bye” you whisper when the job is complete, then you return to brain cell retirement singing Kokomo at random intervals.

    No Neuron left behind.
    But leave no Neuron where you found him.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Save the coupons – from Safety Valve

    YHC started a campaign earlier in the month to free the coupons. They have been oppressed and beaten on for too long now. They are even starting to revolt. No foot is safe any longer. I thought sandbags were the answer. Well, fast forward two weeks, and the campaign never really caught on. Especially with all the IPC prep the past couple weeks. Today, we merge the best of both worlds. IPC prep and no coupon work.

    Warmaramma
    SSH – started on number 2 since I now have to carry on Enron’s lies at each beatdown about not being there for number 1.
    Mountain climbers
    Windmills
    Willy mays hays
    Arm circles – forward and back
    Self love

    The thang
    Looking back to last year IPC, I recall the BDE mile. Continuous running with burpees and merkins mixed in. We moseyed to Rich mans loop. The instructions were simple. Mosey a lap around the loop, when you get back to the starting point, do 5 burpees. Mosey another lap and when you get back to the starting point, do 5 merkins. Rinse and repeat. Groups formed at the very get go.

    1. Goose, Dox, and YHC had a very in depth discussion about a few topics. We briefly touched upon St Benedict’s writings on The Rule. Dox and YHC was way in over heads on this one with Goose nearby. The two doctors asked for the cliff notes version and that’s where the conversation changed. Goose then opened up and let out something that has probably been weighing him down for some time. He feels betrayed that producers of movies would intentionally lie to us and portray things in unrealistic ways. So innocent is our young Goose. Does Tom Cruise beat up 20 people in a brawl scene in Mission Impossible? Yes. Is this realistic? Nope.
    2. Wet tap and Lil cuz kept just far enough back to not enter into our conversation. Likely on purpose.
    3. White meat and Cousin Eddie were discussing how they ever get mixed up with a bunch of idiots who enjoy running in a circle.

    COT, Cuz prayed us out. Fill up the Q sheet!

    #Renewyourvalves
    Don’t listen to Ricky Bobby – Tom cruise really can’t save you. God puts others in our life to support us during difficult times. F3 is the ultimate example of this. Thanks for all the support in the past and the future.

  • Alphabet soup – from Wet Tap

    Alphabet Soup
    While pondering the details of my upcoming Q, my 2.0, Redfish, expo marker in hand, began to compile a list of exicon moves.

    Although there was some input from YHC, this was an impromptu coup. Being a gracious fatherly figure, I explained and exposed the known weaknesses of my fellow PAX.

    The beatdown was explained after a very vanilla warmup. SSH, buttkicks, windmills, CherryPickers first/ arm circles after. I know- crazy!

    The whiteboard was dressed with the full alphabet A-Z. Each letter represents an exercise. 26 reps/exercise. 5 of the exercises utilized a coupon. There is only one coupon. The PAX can start on whichever letter they chose, but most follow alphabetical order thereafter. If your next exercise utilized a coupon, and it was being handled by a musky man; you had to take a lap (200yds) hoping it would be free when you returned, if not- another lap. The goal would be to complete the alphabet with all 26 reps.

    The list:

    American Hammers
    Burpees
    Curls
    Derkins
    Elbow Plank Jacks
    Fairy Jacks
    Grave Diggers
    Hillbillies (2:1 )
    Imperial Walkers (2:1)
    Karate Kicks (2:1)
    LBC’s
    Manmakers
    Nolan Ryans (26 each side)
    OUtLAWS
    Pickle Pounder
    Q’drenaline squats
    Russian Dips (2:1)
    Side Stratle hops
    Thrusters
    Nutcrackers (2: 1)
    V-uPs
    Winshield wipers.
    X-Factors (2:1)
    Yankee Jeaux’s®
    Zebra Butt-Kicks (2:1)

    Many lessons were learned.
    A goose will Become broody when a coupon is near.
    2. A gosling has a motor like a nascar engine.
    3. A cuz will pity those less fortunate, until he is presented with a coupon.
    4. A smooth tempo is hard to stop.
    5. The valve train is well oiled and seldom overheats
    6. 26 manmakers will make you rethink your sons intentions.
    7. How do you submit “ Yankee Jeaux” as an official exicon. ( coupon deadlift while grimacing and offering free dad jokes to those passing by)

    All in all, the morning Flew by- most were gassed and All were sweaty.

    COT and prayers by Lil cuz.

  • Bone Apple Teeth – from Paradox

    A few years ago during YHCs RCIA journey I had a great sit down with a priest to answer a few questions about the sacrament of confession. Ya see YHC had only seen the movie versions of confession and basically all I knew was I had to get in a boo box somewhere and that usually the priest was a double CIA agent covertly seeing if I was tied up in a small town murder plot. Well, after a thorough explanation of what real confession was and was not , (mortal vs venial sins etc) I was left with only one question: What if you have done or said something really really exceedingly stupid but no-one knows about it? Not necessarily a sin but something that may have altered the entire fabric of your vocabulary and, if left untold, would eat away at you and those around you for decades. The priest after assuring me being stupid was not a sin smiled and said “that’s easy, you just tell the really bad ones to a trusted friend, have a laugh, and move on”

    Well , Here we are my friends.

    Welcome to the Boo Box

    Duke!! Get your Ruck !!
    Roll the bean footage and let’s get this nipped in the butt.

    5 Road warriors strong at the colosseum. We took a steady ruck from Nichols across the bridge of Terapeltchia into Peltch Major until making our destination of the EDW track.

    Here YHC revealed he would be confessing to four obscenely incorrect uses of common phrases used at different eras in my life .

    We would commemorate each with an exercise , Indian ruck a track lap , rinse and repeat.

    1.) “Let’s Get down to Brass TAX”

    Most of these had similar origin stories. YHC, in his Homerian learning center, heard the phrase from grown ups, assumed it meant something else, justified it with my own experiences and went about my merry childhood. For example, when adults got serious, usually with a business deal or related finances, they were ready to go beyond your regular gen pop taxes and do Brass taxes . You know, you go into your CPAs office and tell them straight up that you have a job and kids and it’s time to do brass taxes and that was that. I considered that if I studied hard enough maybe one day I would even see my brass taxes at work.

    Later, after all that studying I stood in an OR as a 25 year old med student. Across from me a senior surgeon told a story of an emergent trauma surgery during a mission trip in Guatemala. They needed to stop internal bleeding with limited supplies and he had a surg tech find a brass tack from a tool box, sterilize it, and pinned a section of colon until the correct tool could be utilized. (No big deal)
    He was impressed at how attentive I was to his story but had no clue I was really just stunned that brass tacks existed and how the loss of my brass tax goal had just been demolished.

    Brass Tax Ruck Bobby Hurleys
    We did 25 of them .

    Quarter mile Indian KCUR

    2. ) State of The ARK

    This one started a little younger. Someone on TV describing a yacht that had State of the Art technology. YHC , fresh from Bible school thought it was great that Noah and his biblical story of trust were recognized in modern times. I then assumed that anything with new cutting edge tech must therefore be State of the Ark. Luckily, well before serious college interviews, (I def had a drivers license though) while serving as a VBS counselor I instructed several children in a PE game called State of the Ark. While we were laughing at watching the kids do a relay race picking up stuffed animals I couldn’t help but notice how funny the other adults thought “state of the Ark” was. I laughed with them but swiftly found a Britannica at home to learn the Truth. Still to this day when I see a really big fancy boat , I whisper to myself “State of the Ark”…

    We did 25 State of the Ark Monkey Swings (Kettlebell swings with ruck)

    Quarter mile Indian KCUR

    3.) STATUE of Limitations

    This may have been the most painful. If you have an older brother in your life you know they smell your ignorance like a shark smells blood . When mine had returned home from a semester at college I informed him that I was using his clothes and room at my own behest and then doubled down to tell him the Statue of Limitations on those items was up. I was then led through my first (certainly not my last) public reformation as he informed our well educated parents they had failed in my raising. He later became a lawyer while YHC continues a worldwide search for that ancient Statue Of Limits.

    We did 100 squats as our “Limitations “
    P1 hold AL Gore Statues
    P2 10 squats then swap

    We all silently considered what our own statute of limitations would look like.

    Ok Deep breath, here we go …

    4.) The Grand Daddy of them all

    YHC could take the common out here and say that I confused this phrase with For All Intensive Purposes, incorrect of course, but more commonly so. But this is about healing so we need to get to the roots. YHC first heard this phrase referring to a Christian missionary from my childhood church who we were raising money for in the community. Someone, remarking at how many roles this certain individual played in a small village, said that “for all intents and purposes “ he was the mayor of the village. YHC put together the pieces and assumed that he was the mayor for all those in TENTs and their purposes. I’d also like to take the out and say that this was corrected in days or weeks but it was YEARs of thoughts and prayers about those dwelling in Tents before YHC was again publicly reformed.

    We did 25 ruck thrusters with Intent and Purpose at the Thunder dome.

    Ruck Back to Base as Valve considered how to contact the LA medical board for a hard discussion and Honeysuckle had more pressing concerns that I could be allowed to operate a motor vehicle. We discovered Maneater is a bit of a scholar on this topic while Captain Ds silently began a search for better workout buddies.

    COT and Valve prayed us out

    Honorable Mentions and Anonymous Submissions

    -20,000 leagues under the sea
    -Jose Can You See?
    -Chester Drawers
    -Bobbed Wire
    -Irregardless
    -Could Care Less
    -Cream of the Crap

    Men , thank you for listening. You had an opportunity to ostrich size me but took the height road. Whether you found this up hauling or mind bottling I can’t be sure but I am grapeful. Maybe some of you found it four meal your, but I urge you to put it in your review mirror and don’t look back. I hope this led to your own piece of mind.

    I pray that you will fill your day with the most intensive purposes that are full of intent and purpose and directed toward those that may be living in Tents on purpose.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Mercy Toward Heretics – from Goose

    There is one among our company who claims to be a healer of rifts, recently those of the musical variety, while simultaneously spouting blasphemies (of the musical variety) on a very consistent basis. Feigning Homerian ignorance, this individual purposefully rubs an already musically chafed goose the wrong way at every opportunity while pretending to lead a Yankovician “Can’t we all just get along” campaign. Yes, there is, of course, a place for playful banter, but one you cross the line into blasphemous heresy, there is only one remedy. The heretic must be reformed, often violently, in order to mercifully save him from the fiery justice that such error duly deserves.

    So, today’s goal would be to straighten the bent mind and heart of the heretic via education and suffering. The topics that would be covered:
    -Who is Peter Gabriel? Are he and Phil Collins the same person?
    -Would Peter Gabriel be listed on the credits of any song on a Bieber or Lil’ John album? What about 3rd Bass?
    -Would Peter Gabriel be involved in any way in country (or western) music?
    -What songs did Peter Gabriel sing, and what impact did they have on life, the universe, and everything?

    After a robust warmup (necessary after Coyote’s flogging), we grabbed coupons and headed to the start of the new area of road, which Popeye has officially dubbed (and shall henceforth be known as) “The Stretch”. The Thang was simple. YHC would ask Paradox a question, and if he got it right, the PAX would mosey to the third set of pipes (50 or so yards away) and back. If he got it wrong, the PAX would sprint a suicide to the first, second, and third set of pipes in under 30 seconds, well…maybe a full minute…if my watch would just…hold on…ok, just friggin’ do it fast.
    After the run, a song appropriate the question would be played with corresponding exercises. As follows:

    1. What band were Peter Gabriel (PG) and Phil Collins (PC) in together before their solo careers?

    -Answer: Genesis. Dox got this one pretty quick, but YHC knew that he had pretty much maxed out his knowledge on the subject at this point, and luck would be the only thing that would save the PAX moving forward.

    Song: “That’s All” by Genesis, post PG exit: The Pax lined up and did standing lunges arm-in-arm, but on every “That’s All” each in turn left the group and did 5 star jumps on their own, solo.

    2. PG and PC went opposite directions when it came to how they approached lyrics: one used lyrics that sound deep but aren’t, while the other used lyrics that sound meaningless but are usually an effort at artistic depth. Which is which?

    -Answer: PG sounds crazy but is going for depth, while PC, ever the drummer, is just using cool sounding words that fit the rhythm. Dox got this one correct, too, which showed progress–he actually cared enough to distinguish and think through what made each musician unique. This was a good sign, but much work was clearly still needed.

    Song: “Sussudio” by PC (pure nonsense, but sounds like the beating heart of the 80’s): plank jacks, merkins on “sussudio”. YHC mercifully stopped this one a little over halfway through.

    3. Best 3/5 lyrics match–which one (PG or PC) is responsible for the following lyrics?
    1. When you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand…(PC)
    2. If looks could kill they probably will in games without frontiers, wear without tears (PG)
    3. Don’t you know you’ve got to shock the monkey, shock the monkey tonight (PG)
    4. And the bulge in my big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big (PG)
    5. You could have a steam train, if you just lay down your tracks (PG)

    This is where some retributive purgation took place. Just playing the odds wouldn’t work here (and they didn’t), though Popeye, or the absent AB or Honeysuckle could get these in their sleep. The heretic, though making good progress, needed to see just how far away the goal of true reformation still was. The suicide was long.

    Song: “Big Time” by PG: penguins for the duration, BBSU on “Big”

    5. What was PG’s greatest hit, his most well-known song by far, and which is still rated in top five of music videos of all time?

    Answer: Sledgehammer. YHC thought this might be a gimme, but Dox’s disregard for PG as a person and artist as well as most 80’s music in general had brought him to this lowly state. Another suicide.

    Song: “Sledgehammer” by PG: block calf raises for the duration, curls on “sledge” and for the duration of the bridge

    6. And, last but not least, what was the PG song playing from John Cusack’s famous romantic boombox scene?

    Answer: In Your Eyes. Though Dox had the movie title, “Say Anything”, the song was nowhere on the radar, so the sprinting continued.

    At this point, an elderly man involved in the road project had backed his truck in just behind the barricade, which put him about 10 feet from us. And, there he sat, in his truck with the window down, pretending not to notice 5 men sweating to the 80’s with cinder blocks hovering over their faces.

    Song: “In Your Eyes” by PG: hold blocks in bench press position, skull crusher on every “in your eyes”.

    Time ran short on us, otherwise, our friend would have enjoyed some Shock the Monkey Humpers. Next time.

    COT and Popeye prayed us out.

    Many thanks to Dox for being willing to show up just to be singled out and treated like a leper for 40 minutes, and many thanks Safety Valve and Popeye who were willing to endure his reformation treatment. (Pope didn’t have a choice.) I’d say thanks to Peter Gabriel, but his music is a little outdated.

    SYITG,
    Goose
    1. In Your Eyes: hold block press, skull crusher on in your eyes

  • A Stroll Down Lack-of-Memory Lane (Minus the Stroll) – from Goose

    The presence of good ol’ Safety Valve has become synonymous with the F3 Thibodaux beatdown experience for months now since he decided to show up for just about everything. And, when that kind of thing happens, long-term absence of said individual has major affects not only on the the morale of the one absent but on that of the whole PAX (i.e., Y.J.). So, after hearing that Valve’s broken foot hadn’t improved much over the two-week rest period, YHC knew it was time to take matters into his own hands.

    It was time to build a beatdown that would kill four birds with one coupon:
    1. Allow Valve to fully participate without having to worry about the foot (hard to modify a mosey).
    2. Allow YJ to participate a little more fully knowing we wouldn’t be doing any major leg stuff.
    3. Come through on my vow to bring more 90’s hits that those who were in their prime during that awful decade may have erased (or claim to have erased) from their memory.
    4. Still bring the kind of challenge that these PAX show up for.

    Warmup: started with arm circles, which bent a few brains, and focused heavily on upper body and lower back (not one, but TWO Lafayette exercises).

    Thang 1: “I bet you don’t remember this one…or wish you didn’t.”

    1. “Scat Man” by Scatman John: Flutters for duration, but LBC’s during any scatting (the musical variety).
    A few remembered this one, and YHC remembered in the moment that this one may have been used at a beatdown before. Lots more LBC’s than flutters, and we were all a little dumber afterward, but nowhere near the low point of dumbness that would be achieved.

    2. “Pop Goes the Weasel” by 3rd Bass: Plank for duration, Kneel Diamonds on every “pop goes the weasel”.
    It seemed only Popeye remembered this one, and that it was an entire rap song about (bashing) one individual, Vanilla Ice, and that it also sampled a song by none other than Peter Gabriel. And, Dox wasn’t there to guess it.

    3. “Ninja Rap” by (none other than) Vanilla Ice: Bird dogs for duration, kneeling curls on “ninja”.
    Vanilla’s only other (vaguely) known hit featured in the old Ninja Turtles movie sequal, wherein rubber suited turtle dancers lit up the club with a choreographed dance to this jam. The bird dogs were similar, but different.

    4. “Hell” by Squirrel Nut Zippers: Penguins for duration, heels to heaven for the refrain.
    These guys signaled the start of the ska movement in the 90’s, which was an important movement that had lasting cultural significance. And, that many penguins is rough.

    5. “Gypsy Woman” by Crystal Waters and The Basement Boys: alternating side planks for the duration, toe-tap merkins during the droning refrain.
    This one is a remarkable 7.5 minutes of brain-numbing repetitivity. Don’t pull it up–you’ll remember it and regret it. You did it, didn’t you.

    Thang 2: Flora 1, 2, 3

    100 WW3 situps, 10 at a time, while partner does 6-in hold
    200 skull crushers (modified to 100 for time) 20 at a time while partner does X-factors
    300 shoulder shrugs (mostly didn’t get to it) 30 at a time while partner holds Al Gore
    PAX requested more ska, so Reel Big Fish was called upon followed by the man of the hour, Vanilla Ice.

    YHC wishes he’d have made more time for this one–lots of variety, and a solid muscle burner. Gypsy Woman should have probably been skipped, and been lost to the ANNALS of time (I’m sure there’s some connection to the anals of time, but I’ll let Maneater work that out along with his comfy pillow and Fire Within jammies).

    COT and Smooth prayed us out.

    It was great to have Valve back in the mix, and it’s been inspiring to see YJ work through what’s clearly a lot of pain to stay in it. Much respect to you both! And, thanks to the rest of the PAX for muscling through the playlist.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Nostalgia, Patriotism, and I’m out of Adderall – from Maneater

    Five PAX assembled on another muggy Monday at The Stage for a sweaty saunter down….. oh look a squirrel. What was YHC saying? Oh yeah, A sweaty saunter down ADHD lane.

    Did you know that in some circles untreated ADHD is considered a super power? It’s tru (ish). If one can see past the wild impulsivity and general lack of self-awareness, it becomes apparent that ADHD has a few benefits. I’ll give you a personal example:
    A week and a half ago M was telling YHC about a presumably interesting conversation that she had while working at a local church parish. Unfortunately, YHC was only able to catch about one quarter of the story M was saying, as the theme song for the 90’s classic cartoon Darkwing Duck was stuck on repeat in YHC’s mind. Fortunately, that Fowl diddy inspired an idea for a beatdown. So as soon as M finished YHC took out the phone and searched a few 90’s cartoon theme songs, and in true ADHD fashion, stopped there. Not finishing the beatdown plan. See, superpower.

    Low Super-power standards aside, after volunteering to cover this beatdown on short notice YHC decided to combine a few of the gooey centered ideas into larger half baked beatdown. So without further ado, Let’s get Dangerous

    The Thang:
    90’s Kid Beatdown:

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme
    -Butt Kickers for duration
    -Squat Jumps on ” TMNT”

    Darkwing Duck Theme:
    -BBS for Duration
    -Gas Pumpers on “DarkWing”

    Chip and Dale’s Rescue Ranger Theme
    -Run in Place for Duration
    -Squat Jumps for Chorus

    Thunder Cats Theme
    -Plank for duration
    -Merkin on “Thunder Cats”
    -Peter Parkers on Guitar Solo

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme again:
    -See above

    ‘Merica! That’s Why

    Five Station Circuit- Toss, Sprint, Drag, Carry, Mosey- inspired by the US Army’s Army Combat Fitness Test
    1. 40 meters each way over the shoulder medicine ball toss there and back
    2. 40 meter Sprint there and back
    3. Cinder Sled- two coupons on a folded Tarp- drag backwards 40 meters and back
    4. Carry a coupon in each hand 40 meters and back
    5. Mosey around the Stage track
    Then do It again and again and again and again.

    After performing a number of circuits, PAX moved on to MARY. PAX went around the horn with each PAX leading a burndown.
    After Mary; prayer intentions and announcements included our F3 brothers, Holy souls in Purgatory, those families on the DC retreat, that God reveal Himself through the Holy Spirit to all of those seeking Him.
    Hey, have you seen that show on FX “The Bear”? It’s really good. The language is pretty rough, but it’s gritty, emotional, and the actors do a great job.
    Anyway……. Pope prayed us out.

    SYITG,
    Maneater

  • Some Classics and a Mystery Stick – from Goose

    YHC knew that the Mystery Stick would need to find its way into today’s workout somehow. It had also been a while since we’d taken a dive into some of the foundational routines that had been buried somewhere at the back of the equipment closet.

    The hook-stick was left conspicuously at the foot of the flags, and a warmup of the predictables ensued.

    YHC then called for an Indian Run. Just a regular Indian Run to get the heart pumping and the system nice and waked. What was new, however, was the path. We took the new road and zigged and zagged our way back to the flag, swim-moving around the road-closed signes and cones on the brand new roads between future home sites. We were like Lewis and Clark forging our way through what would soon be a bustling nation, guided only by Indians who prefer to not be in the back of any single-file lines.

    Once back at the flag, YHC grabbed Bose’, Sr. and the stick and moved into the grass. The stick served, once again, as an excellent speaker/phone prop, and YHC introduced another foundational routine, the 10 min Burpee EMOM: 10 burpees, Every Minute on the Minute, for 10 minutes. There’s a good reason this one was buried behind the archery targets and wrestling mats, and that reason is because it’s just hard for hard’s sake. All you can do is think about how hard it is and how much more you have to do. No distractions, just an automated jerk telling you you have 10 seconds to somehow catch your breath enough to do another 10. And, you know what? It’s good for you. After you’re done, you feel like you accomplished something, and you’re glad it’s over….hopefully.

    Next Classic bit was partner BLIMPS. This is usually a Dora- or Flora-style routine of any six exercises that start with those letters. Today, the plan was to split duty on 100 BBSU, 100 Lunges (2:1), 200 Imperial Walkers, 200 Merkins, 250 Plank Jacks, and 250 SSH while your partner(s) carioca’d to the sidewalk, did 1 Bobby Hurley, and carioca’d back. The Mystery Stick, however, was hung mysteriously on the string lights. At the cost of 10 burpees, by anyone at any time (but without interruption), the stick could be moved one light bulb closer to the intersection of the two wires. And, YHC explained that at the end of the routine, that the number of lights remaining between the stick and the intersection would determine, how many burpees the entire PAX would do x10.

    The hope was to present the PAX with a tough decision to either get the burpees over with after having just rejoiced at having no more burpees to do, or to delay the burpees, risking the impending fatigue that grew with every carioca. But, this PAX is as tough as they are smart, and they hit the burpees at the very beginning, basically taking turns hammering them out until the stick hung well beyond the crossroads.

    YHC had to modify a bit as the lunges crept a little too slowly toward 100. 2:1 changed to 1:1, and 200 merkins became 100, and that was as far as we got, even though we started with over 15 minutes on the clock. It wasn’t due to lack of effort–nobody took any breaks–but BBSU and lunges are just deceptively slow exercises.

    With a couple of minutes remaining, we burned out the core with some wife pleasers and slow penguins.

    COT, and “The Fire Within” was passed to Safety Valve, who promised to spend time contemplating its many layers of profundity before clothing himself in its splendor tomorrow morning for what can’t help but be an inspired Q.

    The Mystery Stick went back into the truck, and we will continue to find ways to name and incorporate random objects into the fabric of F3 Thibodaux.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Shark Week – from Paradox

    YHC usually has beatdowns loosely formed a few days in advance. But occasionally inspiration will strike so violently that the whole plan needs to be scrapped at the 11th hour. This was the case Monday night when, looking for a “it’s behind me “ hype gif , I came across LLCoolJ from Deep Blue Sea (high on the “influenced my pre teen years movie list” )
    He looked in my eyes through a foggy , heavily cracked IPhone screen and spoke right to me.
    “They need Shark Week Dox , search your heart, they aren’t ready, it’s your job to prepare them”

    All at once, I knew it was true.
    These men are headed to beaches with their families for the next 2-3 months and I can’t send them into battle without conditioning.

    Say no more Mr Cool James, I’ll take care of the rest.

    Duke! Get out of the water and roll the footage!

    9 strong at the Stage.
    We did all the favorite warmers a d YHC was downright scared at the amount of groans coming from attendees of Mondays Wet Tap massacre. Hope they wouldn’t need legs today … headed off to the deep blue sea in an Indian run 3 burp drop.

    Thang 1

    We would stop for 3 rounds of shark related trivia.
    Simple rules.
    Start with 125 reps
    Take 25 off for every correct answer .

    Shark trivia
    1. deep blue sea —-what shark species—-mako
    2. What disease are they trying to cure —-Alzheimer’s
    3. Director of DBS had one previous financial success in 1993. —Cliffhanger
    4. Although he plays the cook , LL cool J character is known as (Blank) and stabs a shark in the eye with a (Blank). —-preacher/crucifix

    Pretty shaky start here when YHC realized know had seen this movie in like 15 years.
    75 merkin fast ball right out the gate.

    General Shark Round
    1.) Smallest shark species—dwarf lantern shark
    2.) The term “jump the shark “ was first used to reference what tv show ? ——Happy Days
    3.) Appearing in the first episode of Saturday night live , this actor played a recurring character , the land shark ——Chevy Chase
    4.) what Hyundai coup got its name from the Spanish word for shark —-Tiburon

    Much better showing here in round 2 as the trivia titans began to stretch their brains. Could have been the acute danger of 125 monkey jumpers signaling a storm of epinephrine but regardless the count was reduced to 25.

    Jaws Category

    1Jaws based on novel of the same name by who ? (Peter Benchley)
    2.) 2 men killed by sharks in this state inspired the book —-NJ
    3.) name the species of shark killed that is mistaken for jaws ? Tiger
    4. The character Quint is a survivor of what famed battleship? USS Indianapolis

    50 Bobbie Hurleys and the legs were primed for Thang 2

    Sharks and Guppies

    Rules
    1 shark starts w 15 burpees – then is free to chase

    Guppies must complete 15 burpees spread out at 3 stations
    If caught before completing the loop they pay 15 merkins

    The shark must pay 5 burpees for every free guppy.

    Round 1 Baby Shark
    Round 2 Grandpa Shark

    YHC made this game specifically with Honeysuckle and Pope in mind. Both with gazelle speed and wolf stamina they were in a good spot to sharpen some iron. Knowing pope would destroy most of us in the first round, the hope was to push near our limits of endurance in round 2.
    This effect was devastating in the Nur round as the quads were screaming and the beekeeper ran most of us down in cold blood, hunting those who had snickered at his coupon crabwalk. Vengeance was his.

    Indian run home looking for Lenny Bruce .

    It wasn’t the end of the world and we didn’t feel fine either.

    Animal from Granpa shark to baby shark.

    Pope had true concerns that he would lose his cardio during summer camp. The collective eye roll from the pax was so severe no eye institute could repair it, not even an advanced one.

    we wished him well in camp and YhC hopes the Animal is the only shirt in his suitcase.

    COT and Goose prayed us out.

    See you in the deep end,

    Dox