F3 New Orleans

Tag: The Stage

  • Basketball Jones – from Paradox

    7 pax entered the Lions Den as a light mist fell around the feet of Aslan(d) . During a recent conversation with Goose YHC got worked up into a full lather about the endless potential the Den has for a basketball beatdown. But first there were a few questions to consider:

    1. Could we work our body , work our body , but make sure we don’t hurt nobody ?
    2. Could the DJ turn it up but make sure he dont burn it up?
    3. Can we set a pick at the free throw line of life?
    4. Will a basketball under our pillow improve our sleep ?

    Certainly 5:30 was early to consider deep philosophy but I knew 7 HIgh impact fellows who could help me find the answers…

    Roll that bean footage Duke !

    Warmup
    Standard issue type where YJ talks to his neighbor in stream of consciousness and Enron has form questions.
    SSH , IW , WM, AC , CP

    Run Cajun Run Mosey to the Bball court then we got down to business.

    In December 1891 Dr James Naismith invented an indoor game to keep athletes in peek condition during winter. With a peach basket and a soccer ball he changed the landscape of American sports. Today we will honor his achievement and learn how to earn our respect on the court.

    Anker Tribute

    Basketball Jones by Cheech and Chong
    This may be my all time favorite F3 song to date. The mixture of pain and laughter was beautiful.
    3 modes :
    Plank up- merkins on basket ball
    Al gore – squats on basketballs
    LBC- crunch on basketball

    NBA Trivia
    Add 5 burpees if wrong
    Bobby Hurleys /MakTars then a court suicide each round
    1/2…6/12 in Jack Webb format

    1. Most NBA champ player?
    Bill Russel
    2. How many referees during NBA game ? 4
    3. Shaq shoe size ? 23
    4. First WNBA player to dunk in a game? Brittany Griner
    5. First MVP by unanimous vote , Steph Curry
    6. All time leading scorer in men’s college basketball-pistol Pete

    We only did 1 set of penalty burpees thanks to our man AOL who, on top of being our IT guy , is also an actual walking computer of NBA knowledge. With quiet strength he put the team on his back and saved us from burpees before we could debate ourselves into more pain. Well done!

    Song:
    Space Jam By Quad City DJs

    YHC Continues to be impressed by YJs knowledge of 80s/90s hip hop . Was he accused of insider trading during the preBlast riddle? That’s a matter for my legal team. But by my calculations YJ would have been 18 years old when the song was out and obviously formed him into the baller he is today so all is forgiven.

    Side shuffle , slap floor on jam, jump shot on Jam
    YHC shared a special moment with Enron as we locked gazes during side shuffle until the slick court mud almost took my life. Tana added several interpretive dance moves that kept our minds off the burning legs. .

    To the main event

    F3 Knockout
    Standard knockout rules with a 5 burpee buy in
    3 strikes and you are out for good.
    This led to the showdown that no one saw coming but we all needed….

    Goose vs Cardinal

    The young calf vs the old bull

    Priest vs Administration

    Man vs Man for all to witness

    A battle for bragging rights at the Office of Parish support. It was all in the table.
    Cardinal hung tough early with some defensive strategy but in the end Goose found his shot and took the title home.

    Mosey back to Aslan(d) for COT and Ronnie prayed us out.

    A great privilege to lead you men and have some fun to start the day. If you find yourself afflicted with the basketball Jones , well…now you know the cure.

    SYITG
    PDOX

  • Burpeepalooza 2023 (vol. 3) – from Goose

    When Enron asked YHC to switch with him and Q this morning, I asked myself the question, “Is it time for another Burpeepalooza?” and I answered myself the answer, “Why, yes. Yes it is.” Preparation required one hype GIF for the GroupMe and an hour or so of research for songs with repetitive lyrics and good burpee timing. Burpeepalooza 2023 was ready for launch, and YHC was so fired up, I woke before my alarm.

    Oh, and in case I should fail to mention it, new ground was broken last night as YHC reached across a deep, long-standing rift for the sake of a quality beatdown:
    Oontz had been showing some serious inconsistency with volume as of late, and since it would be of absolute necessity for all PAX to hear the trigger words for this beatdown regardless of loud traffic on the highway, there was no doubt about it–it was time to bring in the big guns. YHC knew down deep that BAPS (Big Ass Party Speaker, for the newer guys) was the only one who could handle this kind of weight, so late in the evening, YHC dialed up Yankee Joe. After some initial disbelief and suspicion of being punked (like that one time with JBL), YHC proved himself sincere, and YJ heartily agreed to let BAPS shine. We both shed some healthy tears afterward and slept a little more soundly.

    The warmup this morning had to be seriously substantial. After Lil’ Cuz’s Saturday butt-whoopin’, the soreness was deep and every single muscle was tight. So, given the range of motion burpees require, flexibility would be of the utmost to save the PAX’s joints for the rest of this week’s beatdowns.
    Warm-o-rama: seal jacks, windmills, imperial walkers (so sore), grass grabbers (the “three taps backward with the clap” variety), arm circles, cherry pickers, YJ-led wrist rotations (the non-yoga-demon variety), self-love, tempo merkins (3-count down and 3-count up), mountain climbers, high knees, and butt kicks. Had to cover all the bases, especially for us old guys!

    YHC then introduced the concept of the Burpeepalooza–Enron and Paradox (and the absent Fence Post) were the only ones who had done it before. It’s an entire beatdown of non-stop songs, each having a trigger word or phrase upon which a burpee is executed. Rest between (ha!).

    Here’s the list, played on shuffle so God decides if two or three (or four) hard songs get played in a row:
    “Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers–burpees on “gone” and “away”
    “For God is With Us” by For King and Country–burpee on “God is with us”
    “Coconut” by Harry Nilsson–“coconut”
    “Happy” by Pharrell Williams–“Happy” (continuous burpees when they say it really fast)
    “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel–“your eyes” (backup singers count…they’re real people, too)
    “That’s the Way (I Like It)” by KC & the Sunshine Band–“I like it” (Dang.)
    “Come and Get Your Love” by Redbone–“come and get your love”
    “Have a Little Faith in Me” by John Hiatt–“have a little faith”
    “Got My Mind Set On You” by George Harrison–“set on you” (Ran out of time for this one, probably because of the ridiculously long warmup)

    This crew was impressive–the mumblechatter continued to be witty and there were no visible signs of discouragement. Muscles were zapped, oxygen was in low supply in the mugginess, and there were some unfulfilled promises of merlot splashing (puking), but spirits remained high as the burpee count continued to quietly climb.
    All said and done, if all triggers resulted in burpees, the count was 245, a record for Thibodaux Burpeepaloozas! And even if some were skipped, most if not all of the PAX did over 200 burpees in 45 minutes! This would have sounded like an impossible feat if this number was shared at 5:29am, but because we were suffering together, distracted by listening for the triggers, and not counting to see how many we had done and how many more we felt like we could rationally do, our bodies outshone even our highest expectations. T-claps especially to the guys who had never done this before and were blindsided this morning!
    COT followed, and we discussed the mistake of trying to measure how much you have left in the tank, both during exercise and throughout our day with family, etc. We can always do more if we live for the person/people around us rather than constantly trying to measure “how much more of this I can take.”
    Q assignments for the rest of the week were finalized, prayer intentions were shared, and YJ prayed us out. It was an honor to get through that with you fellas this morning!

    SYITG (See You in the Gloom),
    Goose

  • F3 Thibodaux’s Tribute to Cardinal F3 Knoxville – from Yankee Joe

    A few days ago, Goose posted the tragic story of F3 Knoxville’s Cardinal. In his first VQ, Cardinal (Taylor Phelps, 36) collapsed five burpees into the beatdown. Those were his last. He passed away a few hours later. Across the nation and abroad, an outpouring of love, support, money (approx. $108,000), and of course, tribute beatdowns started rolling in. As a journalist, Matt Crossman wrote, “Out of tragedy came a tidal wave of support. Out of grief came a groundswell of grace.”

    If you’ve ever designed a beatdown, you are familiar with the excitement, anxiety, and time that goes into planning each minute; a juggling act, balancing the needs of rigor, creativity, and the safety of the PAX. Designing your VQ is in many ways, a rite of passage. It is a liberating, empowering, and fulfilling experience. To that end, it is no surprise that Cardinal was so excited that he had shared his plans with other PAX as well as his wife, Andrea. In fact, we learned that Andrea even laminated the page he would use for the Q.

    The men of F3 Thibodaux wanted to do their part and offer up our prayers, our pain, and our exhaustion. 5 PAX showed up to the new Lion’s Den AO on crisp 44 degree morning. Following the lead of other PAX, we knelt for a moment of silence after the fifth burpee when Cardinal collapsed. We held that silence for 30 seconds; we could have held it for 30 minutes.

    Indeed, as we were suffering through the second set of 15 burpees (burpees 45 – 60), Goose gave us reminders not to take a break. He said, “Cardinal’s wife doesn’t get to take a break.” We all kicked it into a higher gear.

    To Andrea: If for some remote reason, you ever read this tribute, please know that we are praying for you and your family. We will keep your husband’s memory.

    To Cardinal Junior: We want you to know that the men of F3 Thibodaux stand by you and Evie ALWAYS as your friends and brothers. We stand by your side in the gloom. Keep fighting the good fight.

    Warm-up
    15 Side Straddles Hops, 10 Tempo Merkins, 10 Flutter Kicks Double Count, 10 Little Baby Arm Circles Forward, 10 Little Baby Arm Circles Backward, 10 Hallelujahs, 10 Knoxville Cherry Pickers, 20 sec Sampson Hold, 10 Willie Mays Hayes
    _______________

    The Thang

    5-Burpees
    5-Big Boys
    5-Heels to Heaven
    Run approx 160 meters (from Aslan to Playground and back)
    Repeat set
    (Burpee counter: 10)

    10-Burpees
    10-Little Baby Crunches
    10-Mt. Climbers Double Count
    Run approx 160 meters (from Aslan to Playground and back)
    Repeat set
    (Burpee counter: 30)

    15-Burpees
    15-Air Squats
    15-Freddy Mercury’s
    Run approx 160 meters (from Aslan to Playground and back)
    Repeat set
    (Burpee counter: 60)

    20-Burpees
    Run approx 160 meters (from Aslan to Playground and back)
    Repeat set
    (Burpee counter: 100)

    Rocky Top (version by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band)
    Hillbilly Walkers; burpee for every Rocky Top (18 burpees)
    (Final Burpee counter: 118)

    5MOM

    COT with fist bump and each PAX saying hospital name, age, and Cardinal.

    F3 Thibodaux’s own Cardinal prayed us out.

    Cardinal Knoxville’s M, Andrea posted in response to the deluge of support, “He [Taylor] had been happier than I had seen him in so long when he found you guys. Thank you for making his last days bright.”

    I think we can all relate to this experience and sentiment.

    Make sure to tell your people you love them today.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe

  • Tuesday Two Mile – from Enron

    YHC arrived in the chilly gloom to no awaiting vehicles. Per the prior evenings chatter on the GroupMe, there was no good indication of how many PAX to expect. Thankfully, about 5 minutes before 5:30 a familiar rumble of Goose’s truck’s mud tires came humming down the neighborhood streets. The TuesdayTuff®©™ beatdown began with only Goose and YHC participating. Shortly after there was some back-and-forth chatter about who was expected to be there, when all the sudden that familiar older gentleman in a minivan made his appearance just as the warmups started. Goose and YHC were delighted to add Yankee Joe to the mix of what was planned to be a run-heavy morning.
    Warmup:
    SSH, AC, Cherry Pickers (slow according to Goose), Windmills, Self-Love, IW, Mountain Climbers
    Thang 1: Merkin Mile (25 Merkins every .25 miles while running around rich man’s loop)
    Thang 2: Core Mile (100 LBCs at .25, 75 Freddie Mercury’s at .50, 50 Leg Raises at .75, and 25 BBSU at mile 2)
    Thang 3: ATMs (3 rounds total with 30 squats in between each round)
    15 Alternating shoulder taps (2 is 1)
    10 Tempo Merkins
    10 Merkins

    Finished with 1 quick mosey lap around the stage field before a few minutes of Mary

    Mary:
    YHC decided to add a little friendly competition to the end of the workout today. The winner would get to select what we did next in our Mary session.
    Competition: Who can hold 6 inches the longest.
    After over 2 minutes, Goose was the only survivor left holding his legs in the air. He informed us that to be able to hold for that long you must focus on something entirely different than what you were doing. This did not seem possible to YHC due to the pain and figured this was just another one of Goose’s mind games, no pun intended.
    Finished out with some pickle pounders and J-Lo’s.
    COT and Goose prayed us out. Enjoyed the longer run and the chatter of male vs. female movies, plots, and dialogues along the way.
    SYITG,
    Enron

  • Mario Kart 4 Lyfe – from Paradox

    The year is 1999..
    In your best friends basement you pull the marioKart64 cartridge , give it two puffs inward and reinsert . Rainbow road flashes on the screen and your pulse quickens. Just the perfect amount of sweat on your palms to reduce the D-pad Friction on your thumb. Two hot pockets in the microwave upstairs and you got a Surge in the fridge for just such an occasion.
    Life is good…

    The year is 2008.
    Despite a college physics final in 8 hours that could derail your future career you are locked in a heated Nintendo Wii Mario Kart tournament. A pack of keystone lights awaits the victor.
    Life is good …

    The year is 2023. Your stand in a circle of High Impact Men on a crisp bayou morning and you have the privilege to lead. A pristine life size Mario Kart track awaits 4 Pax.

    Seasons change , presidents come and go but Mario Kart …Mario Kart is forever.

    Warmup
    SSH, IW, WM, GG with the Clap
    AC, cherry picks , MC (I can feel a schism on its way that involves Cardinal removing these from the warmup )

    Bumper mosey

    Anker Tribute

    Day-O by Harry Belafonte
    Sqats – 3 levels on “day “
    Alternate between upper, middle and lower squat hold
    A deeeeep burn sets in on about the 14th day and there are many many more

    The Thang a Lang (it’s funny cus it sounds like dang a lang, ok ok I’ll show myself out )

    *****MARIO KART *****

    5 stations setup on corners of the Track
    3 banana peels and a mystery cube at each
    Flip the cone -pick one , complete exercise , advance with sprint in between.
    Gather 1 coin per Lap
    Most coins per round wins

    LIGHTNING: 7 burpees for all pax except the one ego pulled the card , they advance 2

    Rainbow road -mosey to bumper

    GREEN SHELLS
    Each pax has 1 each with various reps , in round 1 can give out to any pax as they pass.

    Round 1
    10 minutes
    Every one on their own.
    Do what you must to win.

    Goose and Cuz tied for round 1 with 2 coins each after hitting a flurry of Lightning streaks.

    Round 2
    10 minutes
    Pax as a team , try to beat collective goal from round 1 of coins
    Use green shells to help a burdened teammate this round

    We equaled our goal here with significantly more hardships in the rainbow road and thruster departments. Great effort and YHC could feel the concerted efforts to break our goal.

    Peels were as follows :
    Cone 1
    20 merkins
    25 squats
    20 monkey humpers
    ? Card: bearcrawl to 2

    Cone 2
    20 big boys
    20 leg raises
    20 crunchy frogs
    ?card : Lightning

    Cone 3
    20 coupon OHP
    ?card: Rainbow road
    20 thrusters
    20 Coupon swings

    Cone 4
    15 ranger merkins
    50 MC (2 is 1)
    10 burpees
    ?card: lightning

    Cone 5
    10 shoulder tap merkins
    10 jump squats
    ?card : bearcrawl back to 4

    Notes:
    – Back to back to back Lightning in round one equaled about 50 burpee’s sandwiched between moseys #yikes
    – The transferred vengeance of round 1 was palpable when Darth Cardinal handed me 8 body builders and immediately gave Cuz 10 more squats. He blamed Goose and as planned we saw the ugly side of competing only for one’s self: Blame, guilt, wrath , envy .Ya hate to see it.
    – On the flip side in round 2 we saw the fruits of our efforts being for others . The joy on cuzs face as 10 thrusters were taken off his shoulders. Knowing he would advance to help another . Goose even mumbled an apology for hitting another lighting in YHCs face (talk about progress! )

    Wrapped with Mary – 1 round of crunchy frogs

    COT and Cuz prayed us out

    Had a blast this am fellas.
    A physical reminder for YHC too lean fully on Gods limitless strength as we help those in need.

    SYITG
    PDox

    Epilogue

    …The year is 2062,
    Your grandkids just got off the hovercraft school bus excited to tell you they have a retro virtual reality game called “ Mario Kart”.
    They ask if you wanna play and promise to take it easy on you.
    You longingly stare out the window as the pulse quickens.

    You call down to the F3 nursing home to tell the staff you won’t be there for your evening rounds.

    You tell the nurse “Jeaux needs his doo doo pills by 5pm, and if Ronnie gets on a heater he has a separate checking account. Mix Tanas meds with an abita or he won’t take them. Make sure Goose gets to explain paradox to his family visitors or he’ll get cranky . Stop by Cardinals room and drop off the new whoop version 74.0 and tell Cuz they put “prayers “ instead of “good luck “ on the school marquee so he’ll sleep better. “

    “Tell them all I got a lesson to teach the 3.0s”

    YHC grabs the VR headset, cracks his neck and takes a sip of a chilled Surge.

    They never knew what hit em

  • NEW AO NAMED IN THIBODAUX! / A Transportation Exhibition – from Goats in the Machine

    YHC arrived at the at 5:25 to eight (8) PAX, including and FNG, parked and waiting near the flag poles in front of the Civic Center as instructed. An Additional Pax, Goose, was spotted parking in the wrong location as well displaying a level of tardiness that is typically only seen by YHC. It was latter discovered that he was delayed due to an uncontrollable urge to craft a fudge pop. YHC began the Beatdown with 10 PAX (including myself) at 5:32.

    It was 64 degrees, dry air, and highly saturated grounds. The concrete was still moist and had puddles colleting in low spots from the previous night’s rain.

    Warm-O-Rama
    SSH, Imperial Walkers, Wind Mills, Arm stretching, High Knees, Butt Kicks, Mosey to Basketball Court
    YHC’s cadence was miserable as usual

    THANG 1 – “The Long BLACK Train”
    This THANG was designed with the intention of showcasing various means of F3 Transport. The PAX lined up at mid-court. The Pax used the following methods to transport themselves between mid-court and the bassline in succession: Bear crawls, Lunges, Alligator Merkin Crawl, Crab Walk, and Kicking walks (AKA Waling Ray Finkel). I’m a sucker for a good acronym. During each round and in between “transports” the Pax performed reps of an exercise called by YHC.

    Round 1= BBSU (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)
    Round 2=Squats (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)
    Round 3 =Shoulder Taps (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)
    Round 4 = Burpees (5 reps per transport, 25 total for the round)
    Round 5 = Monkey Humpers (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)

    Pax then did an Indian-Run back to Aslan, a concrete Lion statue, and then to the bottom of the berm at the water reservoir.

    THANG 2 – Price is Right – Kelly Bluebook Used Car Edition
    The PAX separated into two (2) teams. YHC listed a year make and model for a vehicle. The following was assumed: 20k miles, good condition, base model, standard equipment, white exterior color. The team closest to the KBB value with out going over wins the round. The loosing team sprinted up the berm performed 5 burpees and sprinted back. the winning team sprinted up the berm and back. Followed by 3 burpees at the bottom.

    For your reference:
     2015 Honda Acord LX = $13,744
     2016 Mercedes-Benz C Class 300 = $16,633
     2019 Honda Odyssey LX = $22, 751
     2019 Toyota RAV4 LE= $23,026
     2022 Ford XLT Crew Cab = $43,277

    COT

    Count Off & Name-O-Rama : 10 PAX

    Announcements :
    -Coyote Birthday Q @ the Perch on Saturday.
    -Welcome “AOL,” an IT professional
    -The Name of the Civic Center AO was declared “The Lions Den.” This named is derived from the before mentioned concrete statue , Aslan, that happened to be located near our shovel flag. “Narnia” was thrown out as an option, but Mother Goose informed us that is was too juvenile and feminine. @Goose Please look into getting the new AO added to the Backblast Database.

    Intentions: Thanksgiving for Enron’s new 2.5, Family of a deceased neighbor, Extended Family Strife

    Cardinal Prayed us out.

    It was a blast exploring the new AO with these men. YHC can’t wait participate in the creative beatdowns to come!

    Sincerely,
    GITM

  • Sticky Bricks – from Goose

    Four strong for Tuesday Tuff this morning with beautiful weather and the deep desire to get after it. Enron was early, which gave YHC a chance for some QT; then Paradiddle, who can’t resist increasingly difficult physical challenges, pulled in after driving 3.5 hours from Bourg. He was followed shortly by Yankee Joe, who immediately began what has been and will continue to be an endless stream of wife-prompted apologies for arguing with Enron about how his last name is pronounced.

    Warmup of the usual interrupted by giggling over Enron’s witty Hamburglar comment on the GroupMe channel. (Even when Goats does correct a typo, it’s still unintelligible).

    In honor of the last five Tuesdays, we started with a Merkin Mile, but this time we did 10 Spider-Man merkins every quarter mile (pull one knee up in Peter Parker position while simultaneously going down for a merkin, alternate).

    Toward the last quarter mile, the plan was to grab a brick from the ever-present pile near one of the many houses under construction, but YHC’s mind was scrambling for a new plan when we found that the bricks had recently been removed! Disappointment and resignation were just settling in when we came across another brick pile just two houses down. (And there may have been another three or four more that we passed on the way back.) So, we meticulously picked out two bricks apiece, hefting, squeezing, and sniffing them to make sure we got the best ones, and moseyed with them back to the flag to finish the Spidey Merks and give fitting tribute to our fallen comrade.

    Song: “Lady” by Styx.
    YHC shared some intimate information about high school life, which may have included singing this song with my friend at the top of our lungs in his Dodge Neon (with an 8-ball on the stick shift) with tears streaming down our faces and dreams of one day singing this to the woman of our dreams. (I mean, you obviously have practice for something like that.) So, though there wasn’t much singing, we did passionate Side Straddle Hops for the duration of the song and burpees with full feeling for every “Lady”.

    Then, it was time to pick them bricks up and follow YHC to the bumper area for some 7’s (it’s like 11’s…but 7). We found a couple of lines in the street that were far enough apart, and then at one end we started with 6 big boy situps (with bricks), moved via brick-sliders to the other end, 1 squat jump (with bricks), and then walking butterflies with bricks back to the start for 5 situps, etc. The bricks didn’t slide quite as easily as last time, but Enron still managed to sprint-push his, leaving two flaming red streaks behind him. Paradiddle and YHC weren’t too far behind him, but Yankee Joe’s bricks seemed to be a little stickier. He never gave up, though, which was impressive, and we left some awesome tracks that YHC slowly, proudly passed on the way to work this morning. (I almost leaned out my window and flagged the guy behind me down to tell him all about it.)

    We had to get the bricks back to the pile, so it was Indian Run time. While the PAX ran in line, pumping those bricks in Heavy Hand curls, the last guy stopped for three brick burpees before catching up. Once the bricks were deposited, it was regular Indian Run back to the flag for 7MOM (7 minutes of Mary).
    -20 flutters, 50 LBC’s IC, The Alphabet (upper case), static wife pleasers (20 IC), quick-pulsing wife pleasers (waited for a car to get close to execute, 20 IC), and J-Lo’s (20 IC).

    It was an awesome morning, and YHC is super grateful to be joined by men who appreciate the opportunity to suffer and grow together. COT with discussion of Coyote’s Q coming Saturday, and Paradiddle prayed us out. We had some super solid conversation afterward, and YHC left grateful to God for what He’s provided through F3.

    SYTIG,
    Goose

  • Concrete Schoolyard – from Paradox

    What are the greatest rivalries of all time?
    Some come to mind.

    Yankees vs Bo Sox?
    Rocky vs Apollo Creed?
    JBL vs Anker (RIP!)?
    Gandalf vs Saruman?
    Lil Cuz’s Neck vs Gravity?
    Yankee Joe vs Father Time?

    All great.

    But Regardless of the pairing, one thing is always present in a great rivalry.
    High level Competition creates high level performance.

    I could explain …but …really …
    Well, I’d rather just show you.

    10 PAX arrived in a flurry to the concrete schoolyard to test our limits in the spirit of competition. Gorgeous beatdown weather. high 50s. Light breeze.

    WarmUp

    Usuals plus Bumper\Stop mosey.
    Touch the sign or it don’t count.

    Wilfred “place at the table” Montana “ coming in hot to break up mid mosey SLT meeting with YHC and Goose. Ya hate to see that kinda attention seeking behavior early in a Q. but you must persevere.

    Thang 1 – Anker tribute

    Not a day goes by that I don’t think about our Anker being in Bluetooth heaven. Sitting there amongst the clouds listening to sea shanties with no more pain.
    One small portion of his greatness was bringing the best from JBL and teaching him the way of audio torture for the PAX.
    Today we honor him with one of the greatest lyrical battles of the modern age.

    *NSYNC vs Backstreet Boys

    Backstreet Boys “Everybody”

    So we start with 10 burpees to work off with 1 deleted per sic dance move

    Apolo Onos to start during the dance window , flow into IWs

    Burpees on every “Body”

    Like any 8th grade dance the pax were hesitant to start but Goose broke the ice with his patented …Irish jig , it’s something
    Baggins felt the spirit and went for groceries.
    YJ came in hot after provocations with some funk fresh and Goats rounded out with the classic preparation H. Im missing one but im sure it was memorable.
    These brave men bought us 5 burpees.

    Track mosey and oh boy you know what’s next …

    Bye bye bye by Nsync
    Plank on song
    MC on Bye

    Lots of long plank holds so Goose could tell us Justin Timberlakes Dating history.

    The Thang

    Concrete Schoolyard

    Rules

    -Split PAX into 1s and 2s
    -Everyone gets one piece of chalk
    -the object of the game is to put points in the opposing teams “goal “ which is a chalk circle on the concrete
    ⁃ you can only do this by completing the base exercise then sprinting to the goal. This results in 1 point.
    ⁃ Scattered in the field of battle are “extra points “ you could add to your base score (see below)
    ⁃ A round will be timed, when time is called we tally points

    Coupons 10 OHP- 2 points
    10 Med Ball Slam- 2 points
    60 jump rope – 2 points
    Kettle Bell swing -2 points
    Ole Hickory – 5 points

    Winner savors 5 SSH
    Loser eats 5 burpees

    Round 1
    5 minutes on the clock
    10 merkins at base

    Round 2
    5 minutes
    10 Bonnie Blair’s at base

    Lightning Round 3
    2 minutes on clock
    5 Burpees at base

    Team 1
    Tana, Cardinal , YJ , lil cuz , Smooth operator

    Team 2
    Baggins, Superfund, Goose, goats , YHC

    Alot to unpack here and I’m sure validity of points and timing will be debated for decades to come but at one point in the middle of the beautiful madness YHC stopped mid Merkin to soak it all in …

    I saw a Goose sliding to secure ole hickory, shouldering his burden as our most fit pax by selflessly accepting thrusters….I saw Tana looking for every workable angle to gather intel for his crew. I saw smooth operator grab a cinder and wonder what the hell he got himself into….I saw a priest use his body as a shield against an enemy …I saw a master hobbit dashing there and back again from Bonnie Blair’s to ole hickory like he was back in the Shire….I saw Cuz and SuperFund lead with quiet strength. I saw men who forgot they came to exercise and elevated their limits for others.

    Every pax alive in the haze of battle
    Ignited with the fuel of competition.

    I saw a beautiful thing and I for one am grateful to be a part of it.

    Already working on Volume 2.

    COT and Superfund prayed us out
    Praying for Enrons family and
    Baby Little Itch

    SYITG
    PDox

  • Hangin’ with Billy Madison – from Goats in the Machine

    I arrived at the stage at 5:25 with the majority of the PAX plus and FNG waiting for the beatdown to start. It was 66 Degrees Partly cloudy and so humid that it felt hotter than a Billy-Goat’s six in a pepper patch.

    There was 5 minutes of per-chatter mostly about cold showers (IYKYK) and Yankee Joe’s hemorrhoids. At 5:30 the beat down began.

    Warm-O-Rama
    Usual suspects minus the bumper run. Admittedly YHC needs to improve the consistency of my cadence.

    Thang 1: Billy Madisons
    • Perform 12 reps of and exercise and the run the walking path loop
    • Add 12 reps of and additional exercise to each round
    • Each round represents a grade level (you know like in the movie)
    • Preform as follows”
    o Kindergarten = Penguins (because they belon in the zoo)
    o 1st grade = BBSU
    o 2nd grade = Merkins
    o 3rd grade = squats
    o 4th grade = burpees
    o Home School = Monkey Humpers

    Kindergarten through 1st grade was done incidence. This was designed to be deceivingly “cute” before the 2nd grade started. 2nd grade to 5th grade were OYO with Pax planking between rounds. The mumble Chatter quickly ended.

    At one point Paradox Disappeared. I guess he didn’t realize that “you ain’t cool unless you pee your pants”

    Thang 2: F3 Hang man
    • Each pax guesses a letter, if not on board, then 10 merkens while PAX SSH.
    • Whoever solves the puzzle planks, while the rest of the pax do 10 burpees
    • Incorrect Puzzle Solution = penalty of 15 burpees for individual guesser while the rest of the PAX plank
    • Suggested Rounds:
    o Round 1 “Back to School”
    o Round 2 “Burpees”
    o Round 3 “Joshua” *Exodus reference*

    The Pax solved most puzzles on the 2nd letter. This gave us plenty of opportunity for Burpees.

    Thang 3: 11s
    • Freak Nasty & Arm Raises / Travel Bear Crawl

    YHC thought that this would give the PAX some rest after the burpee fest, but this proved to raise the bar of intensity… It was beautiful.

    Mary:
    • Pot Luck Marry from the Pax
    o Wife Pleasures, LBCs, SSH, BBSU, Dolphin Hops, and what ever YJ picked.

    COT
    • Count off
    • Name-o-ramma
    • FNG was given the name “smooth operator”. Welcome!
    • Announcements
    o Reminder to PARADOX to call in a script for Yankee Joes Hemorrhoid
    suppositories
    o Short discussion about the nest St. Vincent 500.
    o Other Chatter that was some of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard.
    At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything t
    hat could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for
    having listened to it.
    • Intentions
    o Enron Family and baby #5!
    • Baggins Prayed us out.

    YHC enjoyed the First F, nut the second F was the best part. O’Doyle Rules!

  • Climb the Ladder – from Enron

    YHC arrived in the gloom to no awaiting vehicles around 5:20, noticing that it was a little cooler than yesterday. About 5:22 a familiar minivan driven by an older gentleman we call Yankee Joe pulled into the Stage. As 5:30 quickly approached it seem that it would be just the two of us for what was prepared to be a TuesdayTuff™©® day. This seemed to be no problem for Yankee Joe as he excitedly waited for what was to come.
    Warmup:
    To be honest, YHC did a few extra warmups this morning to delay the difficulty that was quickly approaching.
    SSH, AC, Cherry Pickers, Windmills, Grass Grabbers, Self-Love, IW, Mountain Climbers
    Thang 1: Merkin Mile (25 Merkins every .25 miles)
    Upon beginning the Merkin mile, Yankee Joe acknowledged that this was his first Merkin mile. Glad to have been alongside for the first one, YJ.
    Thang 2: The Ladder
    Each exercise to be completed back-to-back OYO in climbing the ladder. Took a 10 count (or 2) at the top and then worked our way back down as follows:
    5 – 8 Count Body Builders
    10 – Burpees
    25 – Merkins
    50 – Squats
    75 – Mountain Climbers (1 is 1)
    100 – SSH
    75 – LBCs
    50 – Calf Raises
    25 – Freak Nasty’s
    10 – Irkins
    5 – Donkey Kicks

    Thang 3: Dice of death
    Had Siri pick a number between 1-20 then rolled the 3 dice; performed the exercises on all three to the number from Siri. Then Siri chose 1-15 followed by a dice roll, then 1-10, and finally 1-5.

    This proved to be more difficult than it sounds as Siri chose higher numbers than hoped as well as the dice seemed to know we needed more by providing many burpees and many more merkins.

    Finished with a minute and a half of Freddie Mercuries

    COT and Yankee Joe prayed us out. Great one on one time forcing us to push each other without the ability to hide in the crowd.
    SYITG,
    Enron