F3 New Orleans

Tag: The Hammer

  • Boom-Shaka-Laka! And Then There Was Chainsaw! – from The Hammer

    As YHC has/am learning, a large part of being a parent is nothing more than a glorified chauffeur/ATM. If you are Pickaxe’s dad, you can add scribe into the mix. An excuse to get in my cave and crack some AC/DC while I write. So all good!

    Pickaxe has been itching to Q again since his initial Q the day after Christmas. With a dearth of Northshore PAX donating their talent to the Lakefront beatdown, no better time than the present. So off we go…

    Warm-o-Rama

    Windmills
    Waybacks (Toe Touches w/ extra stretch at end)
    IW
    SSH

    This 9 year old drill sergeant made us bear crawl towards Noah’s Ark. Along the way, he planted several Easter Eggs with exercises or candy in them. As we approached them, he had members of the PAX open and read them. On our journey to the Ark, we did:

    Jump Squats x 15
    8 count Bodybuilders x 10
    Luigis x 10 (This is a PIckaxe original spawned from a Mario video game wherein a short, fat Italian plumber falls down, does some movement only possible through coding, and arrives in an erect posture. In practice, it must be modified from its video precision, and basically looks like a burpee where you turn over on your back before you jump up.)

    For the second half of our journey to Noah’s, we karaoked. Once at the Ark, our leader had us partner up for the following:

    Burpees x 120
    Freak Nasties x 240
    Crunchy Frogs x 360 (We missed you, Cowbell!)

    Cumulative, done by one while the other partner ran around the Ark.
    As an aside, the human body is not designed to do 360 Crunchy Frogs. Just an aside.

    On the mosey back, Pickaxe saved the most brutal Easter Egg for last. Another Pickaxe original that he made up one night as his father begged him not to! Boom-Shaka-Lakas! What is that you ask? It is a “different” kind of cadence exercise. While Pickaxe said “Boom-Shaka-Laka, Shaka-Laka, Shaka-Laka, Shaka-Laka, Boom…”

    Now, we started doing Merkins, then when he said Boom, we turned over into a crab-walk like position to do what can only be described as elevated Wife Pleasers (Hip Thrusters according to Pickaxe ;). Nonstop. 20 of them. There was almost Mutiny on the Bounty. Had our Q been old enough to see a PG-13 movie, there almost certainly would have been! However, his leadership and willingess to push all us old dudes is actually inspiring (if YHC does say so himself.)

    Back at the flag, we did some Mary, ran to the Gazebo and back, Name-o-Rama, COT. We had one FNG, Pickaxe’s younger brother, who happened to turn 7 on this day. He wanted to come out to F3 to support Pickaxe. His older brother gave him a ridiculously awesome name that he made his dad call him the rest of the day.

    As Pickaxe shared, his brother once cut his foot on a chainsaw…so welcome, Chainsaw! It was a special day for both Pickaxe and Chainsaw. Shooter bequeathed the Freedom Hammer to Pickaxe’s care for the time being, and the PAX sang Chainsaw Happy Birthday. Be it known that later that day, Chainsaw and his friends “played F3”, with Chainsaw as Q.

    Thank you to all for allowing yourselves to be led by a 9 year old, and for making a 7 year old’s birthday so special. Their dad just might be proud of them.

  • Up and down, to a factor of 11 – from Russo

    Admittedly a little sad that this might be the last beatdown with temps that could reasonably be considered “cold” by anyone’s standards (excluding Toto), YHC’s mood was immediately improved when seeing a sight for sore eyes: making his long awaited return from a brief hiatus? BUBBA!

    A pax of 3 visited Granny, showing her our favorite moves as follows:
    Warm-up
    Seal jacks
    Cherry pickers
    Toe touches
    Imperial walkers

    Thang
    Mosey to the bus stop, where pax completed 15 reps of freak nastys, derkins, step ups

    Pax then moseyed in the dark, managing to avoid lane separators on the trail, to the tunnel (of love?).

    There began the factor of 11: Merkins on one side, mosey the tunnel (yes, braving the altitude to mosey back up after the deep dark recesses of the down), crunchy cowbells, errr, frogs on the other side.

    After reminding ourselves how many ways there are to count to 11 with only 2 digits, pax moseyed back to start to wrap up with a little Mary, but not before another 15 freak nastys, step ups, and derkins.

    Mary included a visit from Dr. W, some leg raises, and a minute or so of plank.

    COT and prayer closed us out until next time.

    As always, YHC is humbled to have led such a fine group, and even more humbled to count myself among an even larger, finer group that was not able to join us.

    SYITG

  • Crawl Daddies Converge – from Shooter

  • Intensify to Modify: Pickaxe’s First Q

    It was a frigid morning along the lakefront the 2nd day of Christmas. While 9 year old Pickaxe, in his, ahem, first Q of his young F3 career, did not give a Tujague’s recipe for the crawfish caught in Arabi (Uptown Chalmette if you’re from Da Parish), he did come bearing gifts, 12 in fact. However, these were ones we COULD wait to open, as each contained 2 various and sundry exercises for the PAX, one on the foray out, one on the way back.

    Prethang:

    Pickaxe and his dad, The Hammer, forsook the traditional 2 mile pre-thang in order to lay the 12 gifts with great care along the 1/2 mile path to the beach. The 12 packages came in different colors: red, silver, and gold. This would be important, as Pickaxe instructed the color of each package determined the number of repetitions for the exercised contained therein, as well as the mode of transportation to the next box. The directive was as follows:

    Gold: 10 reps/each exercise, Karaoke to next box

    Red: 20 reps/each exercise, sprint to next box

    Silver: 30 reps/each exercise, bear crawl to next box.

    Full Disclosure: When assisting Pickaxe with laying out the gifts, The Hammer was only thinking of the challenges on the way out. As such, the way out brought a long (read: 200 yard) sprint followed by a short bear crawl. On the way back, however, that meant a 200 yard bear crawl. As Pickaxe would say, “Intensify to Modify”.

    Each member of the PAX would take turns opening the gifts, then calling out the exercise they “unwrapped”, there being 24 in total, covering upper body, lower body, and core. A particularly tough gauntlet was a series of 30 8 count bodybuilders, with a bear crawl leading to 20 burpees, followed by a long sprint. Pickaxe insisted the exercises were blindly placed in each box so that he knew not the order, nor the quantity. This series caused some to question the 9 year old. Intensify to modify.

    When the PAX returned to the flag, we circled up for Mary, finishing up with Hello Dollies, Freddy Mercuries, 100s, and a Mission Impossible plank (SIDENOTE: The series/movies should be named Mission Improbable, not Impossible. Think about it. If true, it would’ve been a single episode series, and the ending would not have been a happy one.)

    COT, then Russo prayed us out. Pickaxe is grateful to have had the opportunity to lead, and his dad is grateful to befriend a group of men that would give him the opportunity to do so. Merry Christmas, God Bless, and SYITG!

  • Excuse Me While I Kiss the Ground

    So there we were…how every great story starts…today was the commencement of what will hopefully become an annual CSAUP, Uncle Hammer’s 1000 Burpee Beatdown.

    First: Special Shoutouts —

    Jose 10k –DJ Jose had the best possible music, with songs individualized for members of the PAX

    Moby Dick –Dude’s 71, that’s right, 71, and he is out there making us middle agers look bad.

    Hawgcycle — Did this CSAUP on the Southshore by himself in just over 2 hours…no idea how he accomplished that. Awesome work!

    Now onto the beatdown:

    0610: Knowing this would likely be an all day affair, we skipped the normal 2 mile pre-thang, instead moseying from the flags towards the beach, stopping at each fire hydrant for a set of 10 burpees (6 sets out, 6 sets back =120). DJ 10k had Brother Angus lead us off, picking the axe (See what I did there) like lightning, but sounding like thunder. Then, while most of us may be partial to Southern Belles, Mr. David Lee Roth, with help from Steve Vai, pined for a young lass named Yankee Rose. As if the blood wasn’t pumping hard enough by 0615, Vince Neil kickstarted our hearts even further. Before we knew it, we were 1/8 the way to our goal. We returned with the remaining PAX awaiting to begin.

    0630– No warmup necessary. Jump right into the EMOM of 6 burpees. Doing this mitigates the overwhelming thought of 1000, as well as helping with the physically challenging nature of the CSAUP. As the Zen philosopher Basho once said, or maybe it was Bushwhacker, “A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single burpee.” How true.

    Mentally, the wash rinse and repeat of doing this for an hour can be quite taxing. This is where DJ Jose was so great. Always thinking of other, he picked out songs for most of the PAX. Some included were:

    The Bird (Morris Day and the Time) –Bird

    U Can’t Touch This (MC Hammer) –Hammer

    Some Moby Song —Moby Dick

    Relax (Frankie Goes to Hollywood) –Zoolander

    The Best Around (From Karate Kid) –Russo

    To be honest, the hour was over before we knew it. Most PAX were asking to continue for another hour, and Hammer could easily have been elected mayor of CSAUPtown but for all the mail in ballots. However, they all missed their wives so much, they could not bear to continue for another minute. That was the right choice, guys, as hard as it was to make.

    So, by 0730: 120+365 (5 minutes were sets of 7)+ 15 (a burpee for each PAX during COT) = 500

    Halfway home by coffeeteria!

    PHASE 2: Do 250 OYO throughout the day before reconvening at 6 pm at Grandmother’s House. Some went more traditional –Hammer did 25 sets of 10 throughout the day (looked weird doing it outside the Pelican Park gym before 2.0’s basketball game). DJ 10k did his while his M worked out. Of course, he overachieved, doing another 350 before lunch. Russo knocked the rest of his out before I got home, it seemed. Hawg’s Breath did a few with his adorable daughter on his back, like the true bad ass he is. However we decided to get it done, we finished 750 before twilight.

    PHASE 3: Final 250 at Grandma’s

    6 skrong at Grandma’s at 1800. Turbo, Bird, Jose, Hammer, Hawg’s Breath, Akbar. Knocked out the last quarter in just over 30 minutes. Having an eclectic mix to inspire us: CCR, NIN, and Billy Idol (twice, in fact. No really.)

    …And done! We then enjoyed some F2 at Old Rail, then home to bed.

    Thank you all for joining in this venture. Each of you inspired me along the way, and I am indebted to you all for the kindness, generosity, friendship, and leadership you all display.

    For those that “missed” it, there will always be next year!

  • 1 Mile Time Trial #2

    12 strong showed up for the 2nd running of the 1 mile time trial.

    We started off with some light active stretching:

    15 X SSH

    15 X Mountain Climbers

    15 Leg Swings, L&R and Forward/ Back

    15 X 4 corner hops

    Skips down the parking lot

    1 mile warm up

    The mile course I plotted started at Causeway Approach heading south with ONE left turn (heading east) on Villere St. and finishing just before Coffee St.

    Ringo was on bike with a flash light and stopwatch to guide us.

    Finish times were:

    Cowbell 6:03

    Steve 6:13

    Turbo 6:13

    Waterpik 6:13

    The Hammer 6:33

    Bird 6:40

    Pixie Stix 7:13

    Shooter 7:37

    Pelican 7:43

    Russo 9:14

    Bushwacker DNF

    The Pax did a 1 mile recovery mosey as a pack back to the flag.

    We had a few minutes to spare so YHC led some light static stretching and 15 X Crunchy Frogs.

    Sealed the deal with 5 Burpees OYO.

    Thanks for coming out and testing yourself this gloom.

    Targeting March 2021 for the 3rd running!

    Thanks for letting me lead.

    Cowbell

  • Main Event Was Not a Work Out

    Yes, you guessed it! The main event surrounded Jose’s pride and joy–his sweat jug! You remember… the one that some of his teacher friends reportedly spotted in the back seat of his car during a recent, quick trip for lunch. Mickey D’s, anyone? Just imagine the ‘splainin that must have taken place on that ride. Oh, to have been a fly on the windshield that day. To the amazement of the Northshore PAX, Jose 10k, in typical F3 fashion, rose to the, ahem, “challenge” and filled his sweat jug in a measley 16 DAYS! I’m sure in Zoo’s wildest dreams he did not figure he’d be getting doused on the Lakefront on September 12th. If I were a betting man, Halloween would be where I placed my moolah. And I’d imagine that’s what Zoo was counting on, too. But, not Jose. He “squeezed” in about 4 T-shirts a day! Let’s count em. 1) The beatdown in the gloom. 57 straight, but who’s counting? 2) ISI 3) mowing the lawn (everyday???) 4) moving Goose out of his house (lagniappe). 5) Who knows what else? It’s Jose. The man never stops!

    So there we were. Zoolander. Jose 10k. The entire F3 Northshore PAX. And the Smelly Bucket of Sweat with that BROWN STUFF at the bottom. Does anyone know what that stuff was? I was afraid to ask. Anyway, back to the moment. It was time for Jose to do the honors. And that he did, launching the Lowe’s bucket full of brown, rancid, baked / aged sweat at Zoolander, blasting him squarely in the chest. Zoo, then did the best thing he could to quickly cleanse the body, jumped in the Lake. But, hey, I give Zoolander credit; he took it like a man. The anticipation was palpable, Jose was giddy, and Zoo, a man of his word, was brave. And the PAX? We were nauseated, looking at the rife liquid in the bucket. The Hammer said he turned around so he didn’t barf. And poor Zoo, I don’t think he would have ever heard the end of it if he tried to get out of it. So T-Claps to him, for coming up with the challenge and taking it like and man, and to Jose, for filling the bucket so quickly, so we all could get a good laugh.

    Did I mention there were 2 beatdowns today?

    Well, there was, and the toughest one is part of a nationwide F3 challenge sponsored by F3 Greenwood, South Carolina. It’s called the Iron Pax Challenge, and it’s not for the faint of heart. After a brief warmup of Seal Jacks, Arm Circles, Cherry Pickers, Mountain Climbers, and Imperial Walkers, Steve led the Iron Paxers to the west on the Lakefront for a grueling 43 minute circuit beatdown, where the PAX moves from one station to the next, carrying a cinder block coupon, doing exercises along the way try in AMRAP fashion.

    Of course, it should come as no surprise that the Iron PAXers acquitted themselves admirably with the following rep counts:

    TankedUp – 651

    The Hammer – 545

    Butt Splice – 528

    Zoolander – 490

    Jose 10k – 486

    Toto – 450

    T-Claps to all PAX willing to endure Iron PAX. It definitely is a DOWNPAINMENT!

    Meanwhile, YHC led the rest of the PAX Eastward for a series of Tabata sets. Clock set for 30 second sets, with 30 secs of rest between. Exercises were merkins, plank Jacks, jump squats, smurf jacks, flutter kicks, Apollo Ono’s, monkey humpers, and leg raises.

    Mosey to playground equipment at East end of Lakefront for 4 rounds of the following exercise:

    19 Merkins (commemoration of 19 yr anny of 9-11-01)

    Bear Crawl 20 yards

    Pop up and Run around perimeter of entire fence at east end of lakefront, back to starting line.

    Rinse and Repeat 4 times.

    Mosey back to Flag.

    Thanks for the entertainment today, Zoolander and Jose 10k! We enjoyed it!

    Prayers for our nation and for those families affected by the 9-11 Terrorist Attacks. May we always REMEMBER. STAY VIGILANT. STAY STRONG

    Thanks for following my lead today, guys.

    COT and thanks to Russo for praying us out!

  • Jose’s Pride and Joy

    Yep, you guessed it! It’s his sweat jug! (Zoo is starting to get nervous, folks). It’s not that he has his very own AO, the prized, smartly named, A1C (reminds me of Vanilla Ice). Nor is it his nickname, which he re-branded himself from Jose Mourinho to Jose 10k, more recently to Grumble Grumble (and who knows what else).

    We came here to exercise didnt we, Pik? Oh, yeah, here we go…

    YHC broke out and old standby today at the A1C, the Tabata workout. Every 30 seconds, the PAX did an AMRAP exercise with 30 seconds of rest in between. The exercises were: big boy sit-ups, merkins, derkins, flutter kicks, Hello dollies, more merkins, jump squats, bobby hurleys, apollo ohnos, leg raises, stone mountains.

    Thanks for hard work this gloom my brothers! Until next time, SYITG

    Pik

  • Audibles at Granny’s (I’m not a Professional)

    As YHC pulled up to Granny’s, there was an unusually large group of F3 men ready to start the day off right. With the incessant soreness from Cowbell’s ISI pull-up challenge and Bushwacker’s consistent weekly prodding for some yoga infused workouts, we got started with some power flow, sun salutation, warrior 1, 2, 3, 4, half moon, whatever, whatever…I’m not a professional!

    Mosey to the bus stop. Not a lot of mumble chatter here, and Cowbell even kept his shirt on.

    – Bulgarian split squats (IC),

    – Box Jumps (OYO)

    – Burpee Box Jumps (OYO)

    – Irkins (IC)

    – Dirkins (IC)

    – Freak Nasties (IC)

    – Balls to the Wall Burpees aka Decline Burpees (Durpees?) OYO.

    Mosey to the tunnel, where, according to Jose, nothing good ever happens (including QIC’s cadence counting).

    – Top of the tunnel – 10 Jump Squats IC

    – ½ way down the incline – Merkins, I think

    – ½ way through the tunnel – 12 count body building, mounting climbing, shoulder tapping, squat jumping, burpees (IC). QIC was just calling audibles at this point. I’m not a professional!

    – Sprint to the top of the tunnel for some cool down Imperial Walkers

    – ½ way down the incline – hand rail dirkins, I think

    – ½ way through the tunnel – We did something. It’s a blur after the earlier 12 counts.

    – ½ way up the incline – slow Peter Parker/Parker Peter (there’s a yoga term for this, I’m sure…Bird said we were “flying”…I guess that’s what birds do.)

    – Top of the tunnel – 20 Sister Mary Katherines

    Mosey back to the trailhead, bunny hop up the stairs and reconvene at the shovel flags. Jose, did you notice we had two this morning?

    Closed out with Cowbell Crunchy Frogs and Goose-led Nolan Ryan’s.

    QIC prayed us out into the day. Thanks for posting in numbers today and following my lead, men. SYITG.

  • The Lord of the Thangs

    Huge thanks to the 20 men who posted this morning for Pope’s VQ! He’s been chomping at the bit to lead, and we greatly appreciate you guys making it so special for him, especially with our planning to move soon to an area where we’ll be starting F3 from scratch. Glad to know I can lean on him to Q every now and then!

    Excitement was in the air as more and more men made their way to the flag (Turbo Dog couldn’t hold it in.) The 11-year-old Pope had shown signs of natural leadership at previous beatdowns, so expectations were high, and he did not disappoint.

    The routine was centered around his new favorite topic, The Lord of the Rings. After having recently finished reading the books, a good percentage of his thought time these days is spent somewhere in Middle Earth, so the landmarks around The Gipper were quickly transformed into battlefields, fortresses, and volcanoes.

    Warmup: 20 Side Straddle Hops, 15 Windmills, 15 Merkins, 15 Cherry Pickers, 15 Butt Kicks, 15 High Knees

    Then, PAX grabbed age-appropriate coupons and mosey to the courthouse for the first stage of the Thangs:

    1st Stage–Battle at Helms Deep:

    Start as Legolas (fleet-footed elf) at the benches with 10 bench hops (hands on a bench and jump back and forth over), carioca run to the stairs, and run up to the top where each then becomes Gimli (short dwarf) and completes 15 dwarf jacks (smurf jacks). Then, down the ramp and back to the coupons where each becomes Aragorn (warrior king) and performs 12 sword unsheathings (overhead tricep presses).

    Three rounds of this, then haul the coupons up the stairs of the parking garage to the top ramp for…

    2nd Stage–Mount Doom:

    Hobbits Frodo and Sam teamed up to get the ring to the top of the mountain to destroy it in the flaming lava.

    PAX partnered up with partner 1 (Frodo) starting the beloved “Bear and Block” up the ramp: bear crawl a few steps, then drag/pull the cinder block forward from between your feet, then a few more steps, then drag, etc.

    Partner 2 (Sam) battled Gollum (coupon) at the bottom: 10 Man Makers for first round, 15 curls for second round, and 15 goblet squats for third. Once a set was complete, partner 2 ran up to Frodo to replace him dragging the block up the ramp, and partner 1 runs down to be Sam for a set at the bottom.

    Each time the block made it all the way to the top and was run back down, partners moved on to the next round’s exercise. After the third round, all PAX ran backwards with their coupons to the top (in the style of Gollum, dancing his way over the edge of the cliff).

    About half of the PAX found a way to destroy their rings/coupons early (a little too much “man” in the “Man Makers”) making their task a bit easier and making a Home Depot run necessary for YHC before next Wednesday.

    Moseyed back to the flag to replace the coupon fragments. COT with some great opportunities provided for giving back to the community, and Turbo Tax prayed us out.

    Thanks, again, for all the support for the young Q, and for allowing us to be a part of the F3 family! We’ll be taking full advantage of it until the day we’re moved out, and then we’ll be counting on your wisdom and support for getting F3 started in the Houma-Thibodaux area.

    God will provide!

    Goose