F3 New Orleans

Tag: The Hammer

  • The Merkin Trap, Episode 4: The Search for Plutonium – from Akbar

    Admiral Gail Akbar of the Mon Calamari returns to the Northshore Mothership once again, to fight another battle against Darth Fartsack and the Sad Clown Empire. His secret mission this trip is to investigate the galactical mystery of Plutonium, reportedly found in the NOLA area by some beast named Hawgcycle. The commander of the Rebel forces knew this human was clever and dangerous – using words like isotopes, casualties, retrospect, and defecate in past correspondence about this discovery. He was at this beatdown before, maybe he would return. Key reinforcements – Baby Yoda, Bushwacker, Pickaxe, Chainsaw, and Shooter were missing. But we had new blood to make up the difference – a burly man named Cathe, with medical-surgical powers specializing in catheters, and a visiting pirate from Cape Fear named Teach. We were pleased with our chances.

    The Admiral received this note before his journey:

    Before night falls on this long winter day,
    A shining sword must find its way
    Into your hands and out of the gloom—
    Or Admiral Akbar shall meet his doom.
    To begin your quest for the Sword of Light,
    Call for the help of another to get right.
    You can always depend on an F3 brother,
    As Iron Sharpens Iron, so one man sharpens another.

    PAX

    Waterpik, Dangerfield, Freon, Bubba, Moby Dick, Bean, Russo, Jose 10k, Barely Legal, Speedy, Grundy, Bird, Zoolander, Maverick, Akbar, Hammer, Junior Varsity, Cathe (FNG), Teach

    Conditions – 40ish, no wind, a little foggy

    Warm Up – Arm Circles (F/B), Self-Love, Imperial Walkers, Grass Grabbers

    Thang

    Mosey up and down the Lakefront stopping for 2 exercises in each set, one of which would always be Merkins. 12, 8, 5 IC or 24,16,10 OYO. Each set = 50 Merkins, and most were 50 of another exercise except for a couple done Copperhead style.

    1 – Flag SSH, Merkins
    2 – Rips Calf Raises, Wide Merkin
    3 – Parking stripes Lunge walk, 5 Merkins every 2nd stripe
    4 – Noah Wall Tempo Freak Nasties, Dirkin
    5 – Grass Circle Al Gore/Shoulder raise, Wide Merkin
    6 – Wall Copperhead Squats, Irkin
    7 – Grass Circle Scuba Steve, Stone Mountain
    8 – Grass Circle Al Gore/Shoulder raise, Merkin
    9 – Noah Wall Scuba Steve, Diamond Irkin
    10 – Rips Twinkle Toes, Prime Time Merkin
    11 – Flag Little Manny Crunches, Merkin

    Total 550 Merkins

    Mary – x10 IC

    Fire Hydrants, Leg Raises, Hello Dolly, LBC’s, Lay flat on your back for 1 minute, time called

    Count-o-rama, Name-o-rama. Welcome FNG Cathe! Pronounced Cathy

    Announcements

    – Run Cajun Run, log your mileage
    – Hammer, Grundy, Steve, and Tanked Up! have put together a team to support The
    Nehemiah Project. They will run 48 miles over 48 hours on March 18th at Fontainebleau
    State Park. Check Slack for more.
    – Bird has the Q next Saturday

    COT

    YHC prayed us out with thoughts of words like man, father, husband, brother, friend – all verbs – and to take action this week remembering to flex our heart muscle. Don’t forget tomorrow is Valentine’s Day

    Alas, the Admiral did not find Plutonium, or Hawcycle, or the Sword of Light. But what he did find was a group of men who sharpened each other – enjoying camaraderie, food, and a hot cup of coffee for their efforts. Sad, but undaunted, he shall return next year.

    Thanks for letting me lead, and for following.

    SYITG – Admiral Akbar

    NMM

    Of all days to be late, YHC misplaced the keys and had to hall butt to make it there just in time to start.

    Great to have Teach from F3 Cape Fear make the drive from Gulfport while working out of town for a while.

    Bird brought Ian, a FNG who we named Cathe, pronounced Cathy, he works in med devices sales with vascular catheters.

    YHC had to modify pretty quickly after the Dirkins in the 4th set – in which QIC almost face planted from exhaustion. The plan was to go all the way to the playground and work my way back, but time forced a modification. We still got in around 550 Merkins in an hour

    Grundy showed up late, half way through, and owes 250 Merkins.

    I’ve been reading a lot of Jack and Annie books with the kids, and the poem came from a Merlin Mystery novel. I have to admit, these books are great – historical fiction and mystery combined. Kids and adults alike will love them. Sometimes, the book titles become backblast titles.

    The Plutonium reference came from the master backblast writer himself, Hawcycle. Look back and read it, it’s good stuff.

    Coffeeteria was great, this time including more King Cake, breakfast bowls, and my 2.0’s showed up for sugar and hot chocolate.

  • Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today To get through this thing called life Electric word life, it means forever and that’s a mighty long time But I’m here to tell you, there’s something else The afterworld, a world of never ending happiness You can always see the sun, day or night So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills You know the one, Dr. Everything’ll Be Alright Instead of asking him how much of your time is left? Ask him how much of your mind, baby ‘Cause in this life things are much harder than in the afterworld This life you’re on your own And if de-elevator tries to bring you down Go crazy, punch a higher floor – from Jose10k

    I showed up early to put a mile in for RCR, which I always listen to music. Our resident pop culture expert, Hammer, inquired what I was listening to. I told him Prince’s Let’s go crazy. To which he just belted out the lyrics as if he wrote them. Most impressive.
    Warm-ups: ssh, grass grabbers, torso twists, cherry pickers all in cadence
    The thang: Mosey to the courthouse for some 11’s. Merkins and jump squats with running the length and up the courthouse steps. Once finished, on lap around the courthouse, then a quick trip to the rock garden. Picked up a good rock for some curls for the girls, rows for the bros, and overhead presses (all in cadence). Back to the A1C for round robin core. Hammer prayed us out. As always, thanks for letting me lead. Still waiting for cowbell to show up on Friday, maybe even Q.

  • Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today To get through this thing called life Electric word life, it means forever and that’s a mighty long time But I’m here to tell you, there’s something else The afterworld, a world of never ending happiness You can always see the sun, day or night So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills You know the one, Dr. Everything’ll Be Alright Instead of asking him how much of your time is left? Ask him how much of your mind, baby ‘Cause in this life things are much harder than in the afterworld This life you’re on your own And if de-elevator tries to bring you down Go crazy, punch a higher floor – from Jose10k

    I showed up early to put a mile in for RCR, which I always listen to music. Our resident pop culture expert, Hammer, inquired what I was listening to. I told him Prince’s Let’s go crazy. To which he just belted out the lyrics as if he wrote them. Most impressive.
    Warm-ups: ssh, grass grabbers, torso twists, cherry pickers all in cadence
    The thang: Mosey to the courthouse for some 11’s. Merkins and jump squats with running the length and up the courthouse steps. Once finished, on lap around the courthouse, then a quick trip to the rock garden. Picked up a good rock for some curls for the girls, rows for the bros, and overhead presses (all in cadence). Back to the A1C for round robin core. Hammer prayed us out. As always, thanks for letting me lead. Still waiting for cowbell to show up on Friday, maybe even Q.

  • Never have I ever (Yes I have!) – from Russo

    Disclaimer: yes, most of this was written well ahead of time, Zoolander, and copied and pasted, edited, and spellchecked (I think).

    30 degrees greeted a Pax of 13 this morning, perfect sunrise, a little chilly from the remnants of rain.

    Too cold to be called a Warmup (all IC, between 10 and 25x)
    – Sealjacks
    – Good mornings
    – High knees
    – Cherry pickers
    – Grass grabbers
    – Self love
    – Imperial walkers

    Thangs before the Thang
    (1) Mosey down Girod, stopping every block or so for some Ro-Cham-Burpee (10 rounds of rock, paper, scissors, the winner performs merkins, the loser burpees)

    Things we learned:
    – Zoolander and Jose were “pretty even” through 2 rounds
    – Guinea Pig had incredible fortune until he ran into the buzzsaw of YHC’s scissors
    – The ground is cold without gloves

    (2) Card sharks (Complete exercises based on card count, next round guess higher or lower, a correct guess multiplies the rep 2x, incorrect 3x)
    – Crab cakes
    – Scissor kicks
    – Peter Parker’s
    – Big boi situps
    – Plank jacks
    – American hammers
    – Murder bunnies
    – Monkey humpers

    Things we learned:
    – Murder bunnies are a favorite of YHC
    – The deck was most certainly not stacked to finish on an Ace (with a 3x multiplier)
    – Guinea Pig played great strategy on the 10
    – Jose redeemed himself with higher/lower

    Thang

    YHC is not what one would call creative. Completely left-brained, my world revolves around number and order and sequence. I struggle to keep beatdowns fresh. Most of my planning is either “that’s a good idea, let’s modify that” or “what’s a game I’ve played that can be transformed into a beatdown?” The latter held true for a spirited and, at times, confusing, game of:

    Never have I ever (Q calls out an action, If you’ve done said action, move to one side. If not, move to the other. Exercise and rep count will vary based on what side you’re on)

    Actions (“Yes” first exercise listed, “No”second one listed, most of them look right, there was some modification)

    (1) Q’ed the Mothership – 10 merkins, 5 burpees

    (2) Fartsacked a Q – 10 burpees, 10 merkins

    (3) Intentionally run a red light – 10 burpees, 15 squats

    (4) Picked up the 6 – 3 calf raises, 15 SMCs

    (5) Fallen asleep at work – 25 hallelujah squats, 5 Peter Parker’s

    (6) Called a partner the wrong name – 10 donkey kicks, 5 arm circles

    (7) Cut my own or someone else’s hair – 10 merkins, 20 SSH

    (8) Dated a friend’s ex – lap around Granny’s, 5 merkins

    (9) Stopped to help some with roadside car trouble – 5 jump squats, 25 Apollo Ohnos

    (10) Let someone cut in line in front of me – 10 mountain climbers, 10 burpees

    (11) Played wordle – bear crawl, mosey

    (12) Slept in my car – 20 star jumps, 10 arm circles

    (13) Hit a parked car – 20 groiners, 5 merkins

    (14) Sent an inappropriate text or message to the wrong person – 5 burpees, 5 merkins

    (15) Been frisked or in a police car – 30 squats, 10 cherry pickers

    (16) Removed an inappropriate amount of clothes in public – 10 burpees, 1 burpee

    Things we learned:
    – Too many lawyers in the Pax. We had to define “partner”, “hit”, “date”, “mothership”, “intentional”, as well as clarify what is meant by “inappropriate” and “slept”
    – Even after 16 rounds, some of us aren’t really sure which side to go to
    – There were at least two people who found themselves on the side I didn’t expect them to be on (Names redacted, let the speculation commence)
    – Other things that should not be broadcast here to protect the innocent
    – Best line of the Thang (paraphrased): I paid for that 20 years ago and now Russo is making me pay for it again.

    After enough absolution, Pax moseyed back to the flag in a modified Indian run where the lead runner peels off and heads to the back.

    COT, Name-o-Rama, announcements, and prayer closed us out.

    Announcements
    – HogsBreath and Pass Interference are planting the Slidell flag on Monday at 5:30!
    – Hammer is pulling together a fundraiser for the Nehemiah Project in mid-March. I’ll let him provide more details on this worthy cause.
    – There were multiple prayer requests, including friends and family of Akbar, Bubba, Bird, and Jose, so a focus of our prayer was on mental/physical health and God’s gifts of healing, comfort, mercy, and peace.

    One final word on something Bubba brought up:

    There is an awful lot we shoulder every day: work, family, commitments, temptation, life’s difficulties, you name it. We may tend to bottle up stress or pressure until we just can’t take it anymore.

    Most of us have found F3 to be a release of some of that pressure. We’ve stumbled upon a group that, despite our imperfections, will absolutely stand tall in the face of adversity and stand with our brothers. I thank God every day for this group, and each of the men that have helped to shape me into a better human being. You are all leading by example and my prayer is that we do that for everyone around us.

    Maybe you pick up the 6 more, or reach out to ask how something went for someone this week. Maybe you share your Q source, and then make sure it gets read. Maybe you spend a couple hours to drop everything and help someone move. There are countless other examples that I hope we have and can point to when things get tough. There are too many other examples for me to list.

    If anyone is struggling, reach out. My ear is always ready to be bent. SYITG 🤛🏼

  • Krazy Ivan IV: Speedy Sings, Fracsac Frowns – from The Hammer

    It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair…for Fracsac apparently. The man who has a folder on his phone dedicated to the Freedom Hammer was crestfallen for a second year running. Bordering on tearful, Fracsac and his Southshore breathern had to witness a spritely Speedy Gonzales hoist the Freedom Hammer in triumph after the Northshore thumped the Southshore for the Crazy Ivan IV, 257 to 153. Precision results, thoroughly vetted and audited by the governing body, are as follows:

    1. Speedy Gonzales 31:22 (6:30 average pace)-recruited years ago by Jose 10k
    2. Amnesia 33:55
    3. In Time 34:07
    3. Cowbell 34:07
    5. The Hammer 34:34
    6. Saban 35:09
    7. Kuch 35:37
    8. Steve 36:45
    9. TankedUp! 37:20
    10. RevSox 37:36
    11. Sogo 37:47
    12. Hog’s Breath 40:25
    13. Thumb War 41:30
    14. Bongo (time between 41:30 and 42:43-you should have found me afterwards Bongo!)
    15. Snooze 42:43
    16. Pelican 42:44
    17. Shooter 43:34
    18. Flea 45:16
    19. BBQ 46.35
    20. Russo 46:55
    21. Jose 10k 47:38
    22. Pai Gow 49:55
    23. Baywatch (it was raining hard, lots was happening, Hog’s Breath was talking to me…sorry Baywatch I didn’t get your time)
    24. Belloq
    25. JV (not that JV, the other one) 55:19
    26. Kenner Brah
    27. McGiver

    And honorable mentions to PickAxe and Chainsaw, The Hammer’s 2.0s, who finished the first lap together in a blistering 13 minutes.

    Thanks for coming out guys. You all get a trophy for participating in this unequivocally, completely stupid and utterly pointless annual competition. YHC was thoroughly impressed with the total disregard for your personal wellbeing and safety and looks forward to a repeat performance same time next year. Over and out.

  • Ain’t no Tabata in the back of that Honda – from Waterpik

    YHC, the Hammer, and Akbar moseyed over to Noah’s Ark for some Tabata for a beginning of the week beatdown. Cool temps 45 degrees and the pax got right down to business. After a short warmarama, the pax was off, stopping at the intersections along Noah’s Ark for Tabata. at each block we did Inperial Squat Walkers, an intensification Zoolander style. 5 sets of 30s Tabata and off to the next intersection.

    With time almost up, we headed back to the marsh.

    Cot, announcements, and YHC prayed us out.

  • New year same Scramble! – from Shooter

    The first Scramble in 2022 produced familiar faces on a beautiful non humid gloom. YHC arrived to the sites of Hammer completing some pre stretches. After some brief chatter Zoolander came rolling in followed by Waterpik with his usual prethang miler or so before and after the Scramble..

    Brief warmup of 20, 15 and 10 SSH, Imperial walkers, Merkins, Butt kicks, Squats, Lunges, Self love and Grass grabbers.

    Moseyed in pairs for about 4 miles through the Hermitage and down West Beach to Lakeshore and back up to Monroe with another loop through Hermitage..

    Arrived back right on time to close with count, announce and COT..

    Appreciate Waterpik closing us out in 🙏🏼!!

    Until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!

  • You call that cold? – from Russo

    32 degrees greeted Pax this morning as the South Louisiana Polar Bear/Bare Club (Northshore chapter) held its annual meeting at Granny’s. Look it up, it’s a thing.

    We get what YHC would consider “brisk” conditions maybe 5 or 6 times a year, and today was one of ‘em. Not enough for sleeves or full length pants, but we’re getting there.

    4 HIM asked “What’s Tabata with you?”:

    Warmup (10x – 25x, all IC)
    – Seal jacks
    – Toe touches
    – Self love
    – Cherry pickers
    – High knees
    – Grass grabbers

    Thang:
    Planned Tabata, generally 40 seconds on, 20 seconds rest.

    – Freak Nastys
    – Step ups
    – Urkins
    – Freak Nastys (again)

    Pax moseyed from Granny’s over to the Marsh, and then the long way home (using the trail) where Tabata continued with:

    Peter Parker’s
    Shoulder tap merkins
    Plank jacks
    Squats
    Lunges
    Crunchy frogs
    LBCs
    Crab cakes
    Hip slappers
    Apollo Ohnos
    Jump squats
    Big boy sit-ups
    Monkey humpers

    Between rounds at the Marsh, we talked laps around the b-ball court like we were punished in middle school for hiding the dodgeball.

    Back at Granny’s, we wrapped it up with some calf raises up the pilot house (3x each step) and then a quick round of American hammers.

    COT, Name-o-Rama, announcements, and prayer closed us out.

    Really enjoyed the conversation and camaraderie today, gents. Thanks for joining me and allowing me to lead the superstar crew.

    SYITG

  • 7-11 – from Akbar

    We know it, and love it. It has history, nostalgia, good memories of childhood or yesterday. We may have had our first illegal drink or magazine here. It’s been in epic movies like Heathers, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, and Clerks. But we didn’t go to 7-11 today, the 7’s and 11’s came to us. .

    Conditions:
    WU: 37, feels like 31, no wind thank the Lord

    Warm up:
    x10 IC SSH, Toe Touches, Wind Mills, Butt Kicks, High Knees, Arm Circles (F/B)

    Thang: 7-11
    7’s Pull ups, Merkins at the playground
    7’s Mosey to Lakefront stopping at intersections for Squat, Plank Jack

    11’s at the wall. Irkins, Freak nasty, high skip
    11’s at Rips: Calf Raises, Rocky Balboa’s on stairs

    7’s Mosey back via Noah’s Ark, stop at intersections for LBC/ Wife Pleasers.

    Mary LBC x 10 IC

    Count, Name, Hammer prayed us out.

    Announcements: Krazy Ivan Feb 8th. Run Cajun Run Feb 1st. Get your teams together.

    Nake Man Moleskin:
    Great conversation with Hammer as always. YHC was sore from last weeks beatdowns, so we took it easy today. The only man on the lakefront happened to walk by during wife pleasers – hope it made his day.

  • No Shoe Left Untied…No Cowbell Either? – from Bushwacker

    It was great to be back out at the Scramble, especially on a crisp clear morning with Christmas carols in the air! As we began the warm up, a bright pair of head lights made the corner and what to our wondering eyes did appear but Zoolander arriving to spread Christmas cheer…but no Cowbell.

    WARMORAMA

    x10 IC:
    SSH, High Knees, Imperial Walkers, Slow Squats, Windmills, Toe Touches

    THANG

    It seems since Ida took out out the pier, there is no more “Regular” route, and Qs have been trying to be clever with various trajectories and tribulations for the PAX to suffer through. QIC was similarly inspired last night, but that inspiration was dashed by a wave of life and the Scramble was all the better for it. We went something like this: Messina to Monroe to W Beach to Lakshore to Coffee to Villere (through Pik Pass) back to Messina and returning to city hall. Along the way YHC had to stop to retie his shoe, it’s always this pair, always the right one. So I chose to keep a brisker pace in order to catch back up the the pack O’ scramblers each of the 5000 times it happened!

    MARY

    7 minutes more, the better to kill the core! 100x OYO:
    LBCs, 100s, Freddy Mercurys, Flutter Kicks, Roslitas

    COT
    Count/name (still no Cowbell). Requesting special intentions for a friend, Bird reminded us that the holidays can be a hard time for some people. YHC took us out with a focus on the value we bring to each other, and the urging to share that value, in whatever form, to others we encounter.

    As were were concluding our activities, Waterpick’s Dick Tracy watch went off alerting us all that Cowbell had gone straight to Liz’s Where Ya At to reserve a table for a lil coffeteria . What do ya know, Cowbell showed up after all!