F3 New Orleans

Tag: The Hammer

  • High IMPACT(FUL) Men – from Bushwacker

    If you’ve ever posted at the Marsh in the Monday gloom, you know that it’s like a Chris Nolan Batman movie, with shadows everywhere and just enough lighting to barely make out the caped crusader as he lurks. YHC saw 3 HIM scurrying about on the basketball court, one picking up trash (obviously Pik), one with a silver glint of light reflecting off his shimmering sweaty bare chest (clearly Hammer), and one wearing what appeared to be a soaking salmon-colored shirt with an attempt at slicked back hair (the shirt was pink and it was Jose). While I scanned the darkness hoping to find my knight in shining armor, Coachella, it was in fact Jose that I actually had my sights set on. I approached, gave a bow, and bestowed upon him the one thing he clearly does not have in his Mary Poppins-mobile…
    And as we were preparing to begin the beat down in earnest, we heard hoof beats clopping down Livingston with Coachella arriving on his noble steed, bedraggled yet committed!

    WARMORAMA

    Wishing to be a good steward of the PAX’s time, QIC hit ’em with a quick SSH X25 IC and then it was off to the races!

    THANG

    So recently there’s been some mumblechatter about the “Impactfulness” of beatdowns by certain PAX who like to Shoot things, as well as other PAX who like to edit things. YHC felt drawn the retort to such fellows with his idea of an Impactful beatdown. The formula goes something like this: Take one of the most excruciating experiences at the Marsh, have a conversation with ChatGPT, and VOILA!

    We started with a Merkin Ladder. Lining up at one end of the court 2 Merkins, Bear Crawl to other end, 2 Squats, run back. Then 4 Merkins/Squats, 6, 8, 10

    We then proceeded to the intersection for a little EMOM! 5 Rounds of 10 reps every minute on the minute, followed by a run to Marigny and back.
    1. Merkins/Squats
    2. Alternating Lunges (1/1)/Hand Release Merkins

    At this point, QIC felt he may have oversold the Impactfulness of his beatdown, glancng Waterpik seeming to intensify to modify. But, like Beethoven’s 5th Symphony, you had to let the masterpiece build to its crescendo!

    3. Jump Squats/ Hip Slaps (1/1)
    4. BURPEES

    The sweat-soaked and gasping PAX returned from the final run to circle up at center court for…

    MARY

    IC x20 Flutter Kicks, Hammers
    OYO 100 100s
    1minute 30 second Plank

    COT

    QIC felt that he had put in the work, and judging by Hammer and Coachellas demeanor, they had too. But when Mr. Squat-to-the Ground Waterpik said, “Whew that was a good one!” I knew I had accomplished the impactful beatdown I had set out to deliver. It’s too bad some people were off on luxury vacations or whining about Jazz Festing all day, but those who were there knew they had gotten their money’s worth…F1, F2, AND F3!

    Counted, named and YHC prayed us out with the ever-important theme of gratitude. And I and very grateful for all of you guys and the impact you’ve had on my life.

    SYITG

  • Lo and behold-6 full-grown knaves, wll past the age of wisdom, were seen galloping through the ancient streets of Olde Mandeville – from Waterpik

    Hear ye, hear ye! A most noble and mildly ridiculous account of this morn’s Thursday gathering of the F3 fellowship:

    Upon the dawning of the day, ‘twas declared with great fervour that the F must needs be restored unto our Thursday toil — for lo, ‘tis not merely a letter, but a spirit, a flame, a fire! Sir Jose10k, in an act of alchemical wit, didst attempt to divine the sacred algorithm by which Sir Cowbell arrives exactly two minutes tardy to each summons. Two minutes? Verily, the crowd did wonder what other feats he performeth in such swift time…

    The gallant gazelles did leap forth along their usual path, their strides light and graceful. Meanwhile, the Clydesdales, noble of heart and heavy of hoof, did follow apace, conversing of many a deep matter: the fickle nature of diet, the perils of teenagers, the enchantments of prom, and the heartbreaks of love long lost.

    And lo! Upon the return to the realm of swings and monkey bars, there stood the mighty Waterpik, who smited the brethren with feats of strength and calisthenics most cruel. None could match his vigour, though many did try, and all did suffer with great camaraderie.

    Thus concludes the tale of six buffoons, bringing both glory and distress to the cobblestones of Olde Mandeville. They ended the morn, sweaty and sore, yet richer in tales and tighter of hamstring. Long live the fellowship of F3!

    Fin.

    Now, let me explain this. I am in the middle of administering the English portion of the state test. Upon finishing the test, all of my students are talking in English accents. I had to inquire why, and apparently one of the questions involved the Renaissance Perfect, now I get to do the thing that I absolutely love to do. I get to tap into my students’ creativity and give them a shared google document. The topic: early morning run with exercises at the playground at the end. The theme: old English. And bam, this is what they come up with. I did add a little flare to it: sorry Cowbell. I hope y’all enjoyed it.

  • The “10” Commandments – from The Hammer

    Four brave souls hit the basketball court Monday morning, led by YHC. First to join Waterpik and myself was a freshly bronzed Jose—straight from Grenada and glowing like a golden churro. Then came Coachella, who clearly forgot this was a workout and not a music festival.

    The day’s theme? The number 10. Because why not suffer symmetrically?

    We kicked off with a “Merkins & Bear Crawls” relay that basically turned the court into a sweaty hamster wheel —10 merkins, bear crawl, 10 merkins, bear crawl again, repeat over and over. We were trying to add enough sweat to erase the Marsh madness tallies that haunt some of us.

    Then came the ladder to 10, aka cardio purgatory. We hit all four corners with 10 merkins and at each stop continued to add 10 reps of another exercise. I can’t remember all of them—because who can remember anything mid-suffering?

    Highlight of the day? Coachella tried to kiss the ground with his whole face. Zero style points, but 10 out of 10 for comedic value.

    We closed with Mary… that lasted a minute and a half. Jose was still on island time, and frankly, we were all too tired to argue.

    Great workout. Even better faceplant.

  • Now that is later than usual! – from Shooter

    4 HIMs converged on the Scramble this gloom for a little extra than the norm.. What was normal is Cowbell rolling in hot. Now what wasn’t is how late he arrived. For years he has always showed up precisely 1:10 past 0515. However, today was 1:10 before our departure at 0520..
    What is going on?
    Is this the new norm?
    Was it the absence of Jose10k?
    Maybe it was the lack of Ruckers since RCR ended?
    Whatever it may have been the future Scrambles should provide if it is the new norm.

    Appreciate the post and until the next gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!

  • Mile at the Marsh – from Akbar

    4 strong at the Marsh this gloom. With Jose 10k on vacation, we had a FNG take his place. Brandon found us on Slack and is a firefighter in Robert.

    Conditions: Perfect, 60’s with strong winds at the Lakefront.

    Warm up: SSH, Mountain Climbers, arm circles, SSH, Should Claps, Imperial Walkers, Hill Billy, Self Love,, Toe Touches

    Mosey to the playground for 3 sets of 5 Pull Ups, 10 Superman’s, 10 Squats

    Milestone Marsh run to the lakefront stopping at each intersection for 10 Merkins IC, 10 Jump Squats, 10 Shoulder Taps.

    To the seawall for 3 sets of Freak Nasty, Bulgarian Split Squat x10 descending by 2 each round, with a recovery lunge walk to the tree and back in between sets.

    Back to the flag stopping at each intersection for Crunchy Frogs, Penguins, and Mountain climbers

    Announcements: Zurich Classic this Saturday, Legals May get together in Covington.

    Count, Name, welcome new FNG Roxanne. YHC prayed us out with a focus on Holy Week

    SYITG,

    Akbar

  • Seventy-five and Still Alive – from Mobydick

    Under a full moon in wx to die for the combined pax of A1c and The Splash Pad came to get her to help YHC celebrate surviving and thriving with an All out workout for my 75th birthday. It was a pleasure be able to Q a wo that got some sweat out of some of the most season of us. A full body warmup with 75 reps of SSH Grass grabbers windmills high knees torso twist hi jill hi jack etc preceded the Thang. A mossey to the top of the garage ramp and a first of five sets of 15 dips With a run to the bottom of the ramp for the second set of 15 and back to the top for the third set you get the pix. For a total of 75 reps . Rinse and repeat with leg lifts, crunches, wife pleasers something else something else. Mix up the 25 or so runs up and down the ramps with backpeddles karaoke lunges etc and a good solid All Out workout that 8 years ago would have killed yours truly. But with the support and encouragement of my F3 buddies Thai old man that would have been headed for the home is now able handle all with grace. Thanks to you all.

  • 4-Mile Mayhem – from Shooter

    This is nowhere near as epic as the previous one, but we did our best with less time. I hope you all enjoy:

    The sun had barely risen when Shooter, smelling faintly of gunpowder and deer pee, rallied the troops for a 4-mile run through the suburban wilderness. Clad in camo shorts and suspicious confidence, he declared, “If we see a squirrel, it’s dinner.”

    Waterpik, always fresh from a fluoride rinse and reeking of peppermint, warned everyone to floss or die. He spent most of the run critiquing everyone’s gum health between wheezes.

    Bushwacker tried to take a shortcut through some hedges, screaming “I’m one with the landscape!” before tripping over a sprinkler head and performing a full scissor-kick dismount into someone’s rosebush. Nature: 1, Bushwacker: bloodied. It’s not the first time we has scissoring during a beatdown in Mandeville

    Hammer, the group’s legal eagle, spent the entire run drafting a class-action lawsuit against cardio. He cited mental anguish, chafing, and unsolicited motivational phrases as grounds for litigation. He began quoting 80s legal dramas, which most of us could not recall. We simply pleaded the 5th.

    Ballz Deep, who insists tennis counts as both cardio and therapy, ran in short shorts and a headband, aggressively grunting with every step like he was serving at Wimbledon. People stared. Children cried. He never broke pace.

    Then came Jose10k, part educator, part miracle worker, and fully out of place among this testosterone-fueled chaos. He delivered inspirational quotes mid-stride and tried to turn the run into a teachable moment. Unfortunately, nobody passed his pop quiz on “Proper Pacing and You.” So he decided to Ruck. He was going to quote Dangerous Minds while listening to Coolio, just to change up his play list to appease Cowbell.

    They finished the 4 miles sweaty, slightly broken, and somehow closer than ever. No records were broken, but egos certainly were. One thing’s for sure: adult fitness looks less like a Nike ad and more like a comedy sketch filmed in slow motion.

    Same time next week? God help us.

  • Well, that was unexpected!! – from Shooter

    With Bushwacker calling out YHC a few days prior, the anxiety of what to bring and complete ranged in scope. Shall I have the PAX complete the normal routine, perhaps a follow the leader or maybe just make it up as we go. The latter prevailed and with the help of a cylinder block, ruck plate and the golden dice we made the best of it..
    Brief warmup 10-15 IC Imperial walkers, Cherry Pickers, Torso twists, good mornings, Hillbillies and SSH. Loop around the block.

    Thang
    Stations R1
    Bear crawl
    Squat thrusters
    Kettle swings
    Burpee broad jumps
    Lunges
    Once all PAX through the round, moseyed loop.
    R2
    Overhead press
    Curls
    Carioca
    Bunny hops
    Crawl Bear
    Loop around adding 10Merkins at each corner.
    R3
    Big boys with block
    American hammers with plate
    Backward suicides
    25% half court 50% full court

    Finished with count, announce of Mobys 75th birthday Q Friday at A1c, Trucoats 50th on Sunday and F2 Extravaganza on May 10th hosted by Barely Legal..

    Hoping all received their moneys worth and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!

  • Well, that was unexpected!! – from Shooter

    With Bushwacker calling out YHC a few days prior, the anxiety of what to bring and complete ranged in scope. Shall I have the PAX complete the normal routine, perhaps a follow the leader or maybe just make it up as we go. The latter prevailed and with the help of a cylinder block, ruck plate and the golden dice we made the best of it..
    Brief warmup 10-15 IC Imperial walkers, Cherry Pickers, Torso twists, good mornings, Hillbillies and SSH. Loop around the block.

    Thang
    Stations R1
    Bear crawl
    Squat thrusters
    Kettle swings
    Burpee broad jumps
    Lunges
    Once all PAX through the round, moseyed loop.
    R2
    Overhead press
    Curls
    Carioca
    Bunny hops
    Crawl Bear
    Loop around adding 10Merkins at each corner.
    R3
    Big boys with block
    American hammers with plate
    Backward suicides
    25% half court 50% full court

    Finished with count, announce of Mobys 75th birthday Q Friday at A1c, Trucoats 50th on Sunday and F2 Extravaganza on May 10th hosted by Barely Legal..

    Hoping all received their moneys worth and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!

  • Milestone marsh – from Waterpik

    Mosey to lakefront stopping at each intersection. Exercises (sets of 5) were
    Burpees, Peter Parker’s, crunchy frogs, Bobby Hurleys, stone mountains. Rinse and repeat to the lakefront and back.

    Have a good week guys.