F3 New Orleans

Tag: Sparky

  • Return of the Yippee Bag – from Rudy

    Late August – it means the dog days of summer, the never ending sun, heat and humidity. But fortunately, it also means the annual Yippee Bag workout! 3 FNGs (including YHC’s nephew) joined 18 regulars for the annual celebration of … Me.

    First: Disclaimer. I did better than I did on Thursday, when I forgot it entirely. But this time, even with the FNGs, I barely got any coherent sentence out. “Be safe. mutter mutter mumble.” But eventually, with the help of other PAX – we got the message across to everyone.

    Circle up on the Great Lawn (after dropping some coupons on the sidelines) for a warm up. Stretching, SSH, IW. Then explain the rules of the Yippee Bag: at any point in the workout, any PAX can reach in and pull something out. Might be a game, a contest, exercises, whatever. Whatever the card says, follow the instructions.

    The Thang: ….

    Catfish is first to the Yippee Bag, pulling out a rousing game of Duck Duck Goose to get us started. Clearly, YHC is the slowest. Triple Shift thought he was fast, but could not catch Mr. Rogers (even though Mr. Rogers was slowed by a 30 lb weight vest).

    Lets try this again: The Thang: Partner up for a Dora
    100 Burpees, 200 Merkins, 300 Squats (or Big Boy Sit Ups, YHC was at times quite confused).

    Lots of Yippee – War Eagle’s 2.0 Gideon seemed to enjoy it the most. Especially the Rifle Carry (he carrying a brick, Catfish with a Cinder Block). Burpees. Squat Jumps, Sit Ups. Slowly the yard is getting covered in used White Notecards.

    A quick game of Freeze Tag. YHC Nephew lasted longest, while avoiding planked and frozen PAX.

    This DORA is taking too long. Several of the Beasts finished and were waiting (Mahatma, Heisenberg, Mr. Rogers among others). But after 30 mins – time to call it and move on.

    The Thang 3: Ladder BLIMPS. More burpees. And More Yippees. War Eagle back to the bag, pulling a Bear Crawl race followed immediately by a Crab Walk race. Meanwhile, the PAX are burpeeing, lunging, merkining. Sometimes because of BLIMPS, sometimes because of Yippees.

    And there was much grumbling about sore arms. “When is it Leg Time?” seemed to be a common refrain. So fine.

    The Thang 3: Groups of 3 – 1 PAX on the sideline Jump Squatting. 1 PAX halfway across holding Al Gore. 1 PAX bear crawling (with bricks) between them. Confusion, Alternating, at this point – YHC was all but immune to the gripes of the PAX. Just keep plowing along. 8 Count Body Builder cards are pulled.

    Finally, giving in to peer pressure from YHC, his nephew goes to the Yippee Bag and pulls out the Crunch Frog card. Everyone on their 6, Crunchy Frog in cadence x21. Then we are out of time.

    Back to the flag for the 5 Principles for the FNGs. Naming:
    * Sparky – just moved to St. Rose, an electrician. Took about 5 seconds
    * Burrow (later renamed to Breezy) – War Eagle’s son. Took about 20 seconds.
    * Sunshine – YHC’s nephew, sophomore at Jesuit. Took about 10 minutes.

    Thanks for letting me lead!

  • Gettin Sweaty after Christmas – from Triple Shift

    The issue with writing a backblast a week after it happens is that you forget almost everything that happens…sigh! Well, King Kong strong armed me into this Q and I am glad I had the opportunity to lead 15 other PAX members for a glorious after Christmas beatdown.

    DISCLAIMER AND WARMARAMA
    I gave my usual disclaimer that I’m not a professional trainer and I am not insured so ‘push yourself but don’t hurt yourself, modify as needed.’ With Willie coming in 3 minutes late, we did 15 burpees in cadence as a penalty, so Willie won’t do that again. This is where it starts getting fuzzy.
    30 SSH, 10 Slow Vigodas, 20 Low Slow Squats followed by a Plank O Rama of Peter Parkers, Shoulder Taps, Parker Peters, and Floyd Mayweather’s all 15 IC

    THE THANG
    We lined up and did an animal parade of bear crawls going out and crawl bears coming back. Duck Walks and Walk Ducks and finally Monkeys each side.
    Now that we’re warm, we proceed to the long planter ledge and do 10 single leg squats (right leg) with the KB then 20 KB swings. Rinse and repeat with the left leg. After the single leg squats, we do Bulgarian Split Squats (10 each leg with 20 KB swings in between). Finally, we head to the wrought iron benches to perform 10 hip thrusts followed by 20 KB swings x 2. Time is running short, so we do a set of MARY with flutter kicks, dying cockroaches and box cutters.

    COUNTOFF, NAMERAMA, AND COT
    Did the countoff and welcomed FNG Sparky and Roux Paul who came back to town after moving to Virginia. Prayers for those who are suffering and dealing with health issues. Finally, gave thanks to the Creator for the strength and breath to live another day to become better men.

  • Marsh Madness 2021 – from Zoolander

    Welcome to Marsh Madness 2021. Twenty-four Pax converged upon the Milestone Marsh for this second-time event1

    In the presence of the Pick Axe-entrusted Freedom Hammer, we started with a quick disclaimer, Warmorama, Bushwacker-style2 instructions, and then the THANG.

    The Pax counted off in 4’s and formed 4 x 6ish-man teams at each corner of the court with a basketball. While 1 member of each team backpedaled with their ball to half court, performed a Bobby Hurley, and drove to goal for a shot of his choosing:

    – Layup (1 point),
    – Free Throw (2 points), or
    – Three point shot (3 points)
    Zero points for missed shots

    the rest of each team completed the following series of exercises in cadence led by a rotating corner Q.
    • Burpees
    • Air Presses
    • Shoulder Tap Merkins
    • Copperhead Jump Squats
    • LBCs
    • Plank Jacks
    • Monkey Humpers
    • Flutter Kicks
    Each man – including FNGs, 2nd timers, and celebrity guests – had multiple chances to lead the cadence.

    Shooters marked their points with sidewalk chalk and fell in line to call the cadence for the next exercise. It took a few rounds before each team found its own rhythm, but after that it was like watching a philharmonic orchestra playing Mary had a little lamb.
    After “40 minutes of hell,” team member points were tallied, and the highest scoring individual from each of the 4 teams were down-bracketed to a 5-shot “Around-the-World” shoot out on their respective side of the court. The rest of the Pax performed Goofballs and Side Straddle Hops to distract the Final Four shooters.
    Grundy, with accountant like focus, out-calculated Speedy;
    Ocho outdanced Whip.

    Grundy and Ocho were then down-bracketed to compete in a best-of-10 shootout from the free throw line. As luck would have it, they tied, and we went to Sudden Death from the Three Point line. Despite Ocho’s shenanigans, Grundy stomped the Stomper and emerged as the 2021 Marsh Madness champion!

    – Trophy
    – Count-orama
    – Name-orama – Welcome FNGs Sonar (EH’d by Turbo Tax) and Gomer Pyle (EH’d by Sparky).
    – Announcements
    o Northshore 5-year convergence led by Waterpik at the Lakefront on April 10.
    o Next F3/FiA mixer is 4/29. Thank you Jose10k, some of us do have to plan ahead for weeknight workouts.
    o ZOORICH CLASSIC at the Lakefront on April 24. (See how I slipped that in there Cowbell?…never too early!)

    QIC prayed us out and group photo followed. Great job by all. We’ll see if Grundy can defend his title in 2022. Thanks for playing along men. See you in the next Gloom.

    Footnotes:
    1Seriously, footnotes in a Backblast? Why not? The first Marsh Madness was in 2019 with a small, dare I say Elite, group of 8. Bird was an FNG and drained 16 x 3-point shots. The B-ball gods did not favor him today though. And well, Corona (as it was called back then) had other plans in ‘20.

    2Bushwacker-style instructions typically include circumlocutory, sesquipedalian musings about man’s ultimate life purpose with some semblance of what the Pax should be doing for the next 40-50 minutes. They are often accompanied by Mumble Chatter and confusion by all within earshot. Bushwacker-style instructions are the exact opposite of Turbo-style instructions, which are direct, concise, and never to be interrupted without penalty.

  • QUAD-rophenia

    Blame Akbar.  This was his doing, really.  His “block party,” (henceforth known as ‘Akbar’s Abomination’) – which was preceded by Tank’s Murph – pretty much guaranteed that Saturday’s beatdown would focus on legs and core.  

    But first, the pre-thang : the usual 2 miles out and back with the usual suspects.  Now, YHC was definitely not looking at Bushwacker’s butt.  And neither was Tank.  But I mean, really, when the guy’s shorts are that tight and he’s running in front of you, it’s hard not to take note.  Looked like he had those things painted on.  Tank was comfortable enough in his masculinity to throw out a few catcalls.  Though, judging by Wacker’s mustache (which was recently tamed from a Guy Fawkes-type stache to a more respectable – and less anarchistic – Tom Selleck-type), it is possible that he is more in tune with the modern trends of the day and hey, what do I know, maybe the short shorts are making a comeback this year?

    Yes, this was created with MS Paint.

    Back at the flag, there was a surprisingly large group milling about.  Most noticeable were all the 2.0’s.  It was great to see the Baby Yoda, Pope, and Pixie Stick (along with Grover, who is now a fixture at most beatdowns) posting alongside their fathers.  Also of note, the (second) return of Backdraft, who’s already committed to leading in the near future.

    Warmorama: Good mornings, torso twists, IWs, toe touches, SSHs, merkins, shoulder taps, high knees, all at or around 15x IC.

    Somewhere around the SSH’s, Sparky shows up.  Turns out Bushwacker does not stand alone in his love of Magnum P.I.

    The Thang:

    Simple enough opening routine: Lt. Dan’s to the gazebo.  Which, okay, yes, is about 400 yards.  And felt longer.  But at least the guys had some time to catch up.  

    Next, Core COP: The Bruce Lee.  We’d do all six exercises, x20 IC, then take a 30 second break:

    • Hammers
    • Leg Raises
    • LBCs
    • Heel Touches
    • Crunchy Frogs
    • 100’s

    Rinse & Repeat. Initially we were going to do three rounds, but honestly, YHC can’t multitask – I can either call out cadence for 6 routines or I can suffer through them properly, but doing both proved too much for a third round.  So onward to the bridge!

    Partner up for a Dora:

    P1 runs up and over the bridge and back to swap with P2, who begins knocking out the cumulative reps of:

    • 100 Merkin Toe Touches
    • 200 Freak Nasties
    • 300 Squats

    Nearly out of time, YHC called it so we could make it back to the flag promptly.  Double lined Indian Run back to the flag, where we closed it out with a quick set of Jane Fonda’s.

    Countdown, namerama, and welcoming of FNG Pixie Stick!

    Grover closed us out in a prayer of thanks and everyone set out to coffeteria.  YHC feels blessed to have this group of men pushing me to be a better version of myself.  It felt good to be back out there with such a large group (25 men!), and to see the gift of F3 passed on to so many 2.0’s.  Thank you men for the opportunity to lead!  

  • 5 year CONVERGENCE!

    Well – 5 years later we are still going STRONG! I remember when we started thinking I don’t have time in my life for this group. After a week of beatdowns I knew that we had to commit to growing this group – it had already begun to change my life and they way I interact with people everyday. I know after a nasty 530am beatdown – that I can handle anything the day throws at me. Thanks to all the guys here in NOLA that keep things running so that we can continue to be a group. Thanks to OBT for taking time out of his life to get us going in the GLOOM! Looking forward to 5 more years of F3 in NOLA.

    Today the pre-run started with about 20 PAX for a run down BAYOU ST JOHN. Beautiful weather, cool air and a crisp breeze. We ran 12 min out and 12 min back so that we could arrive in time for the fun.

    KUCH – has a been a great EH’er and a nice addition to F3 NOLA. Kuch started the party off with a WARM UP circle. SSH, Imp Walkers, Arm Circles, Peter Parkers, Merks.

    Then we divided up by 5 count into teams. We did 5 burpees, 5 Lunges, 5 Merkins, 5 Squats, 5 Plank Jacks. Bear Crawl across the lawn. Run back. KUCH did an excellent job getting the teams set quickly

    5 reps. We ran out of time and had to call it after 3 reps. No team won due to the shortened KUCH set. Kuch represented NOLA well – with a pretty gnarly start to a celebratory event.

    2nd set with DURACELL – FROM BATON ROUGE

    Duracell brought out 2 coupons. 40lb cinderblocks. 2 PAX ran to the center and did 3 thrusters. We went two different directions. A slow starter but once the PAX got the hang out this one – this was a solid beatdown. Duracell had to do about 15 exercises in cadence to 20. Exercises ranged from a regular plank, to shoulder taps, to merk variations to squat/lunge variations. The highlight of this section was Mathlete’s 2.0-Bear getting that cinderblock in the right position and up. Duracell represented the RED STICK well.

    THIGHS FROM THE WANK- 3rd quarter. We started with a solid mosey over the to the lawn in by the museum. Upon arrival we see that Thighs has organized with some printed out signs a 15 min beatdown that is going to suck. At each sign there was an exercise- PAX had to complete 20 reps the first time through, 15 reps the 2nd time through. (Possible 3rd time for the fastest pax members). Exercises were:

    1. Bonnie Blaires
    2. Diamond Merks
    3. Reverse Crunches aka Gaspumps
    4. Bobby Hurleys
    5. Merkin Toe Touches (need to incorporate this more in my Qs)
    6. Freddie Mercs

    RUN back to the start line and do this again. Thighs had the teams organized in a way by street names. Due to 75 PAX that didn’t quite workout but Thighs quickly modified and let the teams fall where they were. A good quick call. Thighs demonstrated that there is nothing easy about the WANK. Those guys are tough! Great turnout by the WB.

    STEVE FROM THE NORTHSHORE- FINISHED OFF The PAX back on the great lawn. Each pax got a partner.

    You had to do your partners age in burpees, your partners weight in LBCS, and your partners months in F3 in Freddies.

    Steve had a few minutes left so he finished with some Peter parkers, and some American Hammer.

    After a 75 PAX NAME O RAMA, NUMBERRAMA – Hokey POkey finished us off with an awesome prayer!

    After the whole beatdown we gathered at Cafe Du Monde for a 5 year celebration party. Tclaps to Rudy, Tool and Gabrielle for making that happen. There were eggs, bacon, sausage, grits, biscuits, beignets and plenty of coffee!

    Thanks to our awesome Qs! IT is NOT easy to Q 75 PAX!

    So blessed to be a part of this group- cheers to 5 more years of F3 NOLA!

  • Running Games? I Thought You Said Fun ‘n’ Games!

    The mumble chatter started the previous night at the successful meet n greet campaign party for our very own Hammer about the fact that if Turbo had the Q for Saturday, then it was either fun n games or, more likely, plenty of running, much to the consternation of more than one PAX both present and away. While, in a sense, fun n games were in fact afoot, today was a run day!

    WARMORAMA

    x20 IC:

    Seal Jacks

    Imperial Walkers

    Toe Touches

    THANG

    Mosied westward down the lakefront for a stretch before we stopped for some merkins. Continued up Marigny and stopped for some Mountain Climbers. Finished up at the Marsh where we partnered up for a little competiton.

    4 4 minute rounds with a running total per team:

    Round 1- P1 SSH while P2 runs to opposite side of the court and performs 2 Burpees

    Round 2- P1Butt Kicks, P2 2 180 degree hops

    Round 3- P1 Lateral Hops, P2 2 Tuck (Squat) Jumps

    Round 4- P1 imaginary Jump Rope, P2 2 Bobby Hurleys

    In between each round was 30 seconds rest, 1 minute of Plank, and 30 more seconds of rest. Teams that scored under 82 total points (all?) dropped for 10 penalty burpees.

    Next, the Pax split evenly and competed head-to-head in a relay race from one end of the court to the other. The Odd numbered team performed another set of 10 penalty burpees. YHC must note that never has he seen such an intense show of drive and performance from every man at the same time as was displyed during this race!

    Same teams did a double-line Indian Run back to the Lakefront, where the PAX planked for the 6, followed by a slow mosy before an all out sprint to the flag.

    COUNTORAMA

    NAMEORAMA

    Naming of FNG Black Cat. Welcome brother, better late than never!

    Phoenix prayed us out.

    T Claps to Turbo Tax for a well put together, high intensity beat down. It’s always a privilege to follow a great leader. Who says running can’t be fun!

  • SHOULDERING the RUNNING Responsibilties of F3 Membership

    Foregoing the 2 mile pre-thang this gloom, YHC arrived in time to plant the Marsh flag next to the Scramble flag at the blustery AO and greet the menagerie of men gathered for a proper Saturday beat down

    WARM O RAMA

    With a focus on the shoulder demands of what QIC had in store…

    All x25 IC:

    Seal Claps

    Overhead Claps

    Air Presses

    Cherry Pickers

    Torso Twists

    Imperial Walkers

    Windmills

    High Knees

    THANG

    Mosied to Grundy’s Noah’s Ark for…

    Burpee Mile – 4 laps, each followed by 12 burpees

    Mosied to between Lamarque and Foy for…

    T Bombs x25 IC – Starting in crab position, 1 legs straight out, 2 feet wide, 3 feet back together, 4 legs back in

    Mosied to the splash pad area for…

    Blackjack – 1 merkin, run a little ways, 20 LBCs. 2 merkins, 19 LBCs, etc. until 20 merkins, 1 LBC

    Q had SO much more fun in store for the PAX, however with time running short, a 2 line indian run back to the flags capped off the somewhat HIIT-like beat down that kept heart rates elevated. By Q’s count, the ISI total was 378 . Also, 3.5 miles (5.5 for the pre-thangers).

    COT

    Count o rama (17 present), name o rama, and Suckles, who was back from Georgia for a quick visit, prayed us out.

    Guys, a valorous and highly impressive effort was put forth by each and every one of you. I am humbly appreciative of your willingness to show up and follow my wackie lead.

    Happy Father’s Day to all of the dads, and to those without kids, a happy Father’s Day to your own dear old man!

    SYITG

  • The Bear Necessities (Song)

    Look for the bear necessities
    The simple bear necessities
    Forget about your whining and your strife
    I mean the bear necessities
    Old Grundy’s evil recipes
    That brings the bear necessities to life

    Wherever I wander, wherever I roam
    I couldn’t be fonder, of my F3 bro’s
    The PAX as fussy as can be
    And to think it’s all because of me
    When they looked into the groupme chats
    And took a glance at the glove demands
    Then said, maybe I’ll fartsack this too…

    The bear necessities of life will come find you
    They’ll come find you! (Looking at you EIEI)

    Look for the bear necessities
    The “simple” bear necessities
    500 yards of bear crawls will suffice
    I mean the bear necessities
    Then after we can rest at ease
    With just the bear necessities of life. (Coffee and F2)
    With just those bear necessities of life!!!

    Hope you enjoyed the song! I’ll be releasing an album of all of my F3 hits coming this Fall.

    YHC thought that all of us needed a good reminder of just how hard a Saturday F3 beatdown could be. Those 15 extra minutes can be absolutely brutal. We always need that reminder.

    With that in mind, this beatdown was going to bring a pain that will never be forgotten.

    #NeverForget

    Warmup

    SSH 20 IC
    Seal Jacks 20 IC
    Shoulder Series
    Carolina Dry Docks 10 IC

    Mosey to the open field for the main event.

    THE THANG

    FIVE ROUNDS:
    20x SQUAT JUMPS
    50 YARD BEAR CRAWL

    Before we moved onto the next set of crawls we hit core with some Reverse Manny Crunches and LBCs.

    FOUR ROUNDS:
    20x SPLIT JUMP each side (sister mary catherines)
    40 YARD BEAR CRAWL

    THREE ROUNDS:
    20x BURPEE
    30 YARD BEAR CRAWL

    We formed two lines and staggered back indian run style to the flag. After we got back, an excellent display of what F3 is all about occurred with many men going back to leave no F3 man behind.

    We circled up and counted off and Butt Splice prayed us out.

    I couldn’t be more proud to be a part of this group of the highest quality men and to be pushed beyond what I believe is possible. It’s an absolute honor to be able to lead you men any opportunity I get.

    Until next time (after I’ve recovered from this one…)

    Grundy

  • Fuzzy Balls

    22 PAX strong on the Mandeville Lakefront. 23 if you count Brat who joined us for a little foreplay as he works his way off injured reserve. Brat, an officer with the NOPD, injured himself successfully tackling and arresting a bad guy. The PAX’s consensus is that he should use a Tazer next time Indiana Jones style or perhaps transfer to a Northshore police agency where a polite request to stop, issued with an English accent, is all that is required to apprehend a criminal.

    Kicked things off with warmup of seal jacks, toe touches, SSHs, imperial walkers, merkins, and Jane Fondas. We then divided into three teams, and YHC retrieved his bag and revealed his fuzzy balls.

    Each team received a fuzzy tennis ball (yes, YHC had three) and instructions to race with it about a half mile west along the Lakefront to the Shaft. To begin, there were only three rules: first, you cannot run if you are holding the ball; second, no pass backs-you cannot receive a pass back from the man you just passed to; and third, the entire team had to stop dead and perform five burpees every time the ball touched the ground before proceeding. Then Cowbell whipped a legal pad out of his briefcase and starting asking questions and for clarification on a few items so we ended up with a few more rules. No wonder you guys don’t get anything done on the Southshore.

    Circled up upon arrival at the Shaft for T merkins and alternating Supermans..

    Back to the races with another tennis ball sprint further westward along the Lakefront to the playground where we circled up for prisoner squats, hand release merkins and crab cakes.

    Raced back eastward with our fuzzy balls to the Shaft for a third COP consisting of a merkin wave, lunges, Supermans, arm circles, overhead hand claps, and air presses.

    One final race back to the shovel flag, wrapping things up with some Mary…single leg raises, scuba Steves and a 60 second plank.

    Countorama, nameorama and Phoenix prayed us out on the way to the coffeeteria.

    Thanks for letting me lead, guys, and thanks for competing so earnestly in the silly tennis ball game.

  • ZOORICH CLASSIC

    After a quick disclaimer and Warmorama (18 x SSH, 18 x Toe Touches, 9 Windmills), the Pax moseyed westward and partnered up to commence a frisbee golf challenge. We had 18 holes i.e. crawfish trays (‘tis the season!) with a total course length of ~1 mile. For each hole, one partner threw the high quality, PDGA-approved disc (courtesy of Dollar General), while the other partner performed the following exercises between strokes for the respective holes. Partners alternated throwing and exercising throughout the course.

    Between Strokes

    Holes 1 – 3: Bear Crawl

    Holes 4 – 6: Wheelbarrow

    Holes 7 – 9: Lunge Walk

    Holes 10 – 12: Groucho Walk

    Holes 13 – 15: Frankensteins

    Holes 16 – 18: Burpee Broad Jumps

    Once the team completed a hole, both team members performed the following exercises with the rep count equal to how many strokes the team took to complete the hole.

    Hole          Exercise

    1                # x Freak Nasties

    2                # x Jump Squats

    3                # x Derkins

    4                #  x Squerkins

    5               # x Copperhead Squats

    6               # x Hello Dollies

    7               # x Gwerkins (As if the Squerkins weren’t bad enough)

    8               # x Burpees

    9               # x Donkey Kicks

    10            # x Plank Jacks

    11            # x Sister Mary Katherines

    12           #  x Big Boy Situps

    13           # x Crunchy Frogs

    14           # x Groiners

    15          # x Body Builders

    16          #  x Dive Bombers

    17         # x Box Jumps (No one completed as time ran out)

    18         # x Patty Cake Merkins (No one completed as time ran out)

    Team BEAN HAMMER started out rough with the first throw on the first hole in the Lake, but quickly recovered.

    Team STEVE GRUNDY put on a racy display of Squerkins, which are very likely to never be incorporated into another F3 Northshore beatdown.

    Welcome back two Pax back from Injured Reserve, Butt Splice and Tanked Up!, who inadvertently won unattributable points for best team name: BUTT TANK!

    Thanks to team JOSE RUSSO for scooping up the coupons at the end.

    Team scores were recorded on scorecards provided by the Q and tallied below with penalty 6s for unfinished holes. This simplified scoring normalization yielded team Shooting Sparks as winner of the 2019 Zoorich Classic. Congrats guys. Wear this badge of honor proudly!

    Counterama, Name-orama, ceremonial naming of FNG – Speedy Gonzales, and Butt Splice prayed us out. 19th hole coffeeteria at our usual spot. Thanks for allowing me to lead, Men. Hope you enjoyed it as much as YHC had dreaming it up. SYITNG!