Christmas Music in background
Warmup
Plank pull through relay coupon drill
Fountain
20 derkins
20 right leg step ups
20 dips
20 left leg step ups
20 plank walk ups
20 incline wife pleasers
20 decline shoulder taps
20 irkins
20 single leg squats
20 decline step ups / walks
Plus…
Pax Christmas wish exercise choice
Eight counts, big bois, with 1 pax rifle carrying around fountain
Jump rope
Sunday mornings
If you don’t write a backblast quickly, you will forget the details. I’m doing this for the Pax Miner so everyone gets credit.
I brought all my toys (dumbbells, kettlebells, and sandbags) and borrowed a couple from Frac and Heisenberg’s 80lb sand ball. I provided a disclaimer and the pax picked up all the coupons and headed to the front steps of NOMA to play a few rounds of blackjack.
Diamonds – Thrusters/Squats
Hearts – No Cheat Merkins/Bench
Clubs – Patti Cake Big Boi Sit-ups
Spades – Body Row/Upright Row
Joker – Farmer Carry/Run around NOMA
A’s – 10 of suit and then Bear Crawl to one side where the slate ends.
K’s – 10 of suit and then Lunge Walk to one side where the slate ends.
Q-s – 10 of suit and then Monkey Walk to one side where the slate ends.
J’s – 10 of suit and then Duck Walk to one side where the slate ends.
For the game of Blackjack, the loser or if a draw happens, performs 10 burpees. The winner does one (1) burpee, and a bust (going over 21) must do the number of burpees of the bust. My kids came up with that diabolical choice as in the Prisoner’s dilemma scenario.
We finish up by carrying all the weight back to the virtual flag. For the COT, I shared with Pax that the next day (November 19, 1863), Abraham Lincoln gave his famous Gettysburg Address where some 51,000 men were either killed, wounded or went missing / captured in the three day battle. With that, I closed out with reading President Lincoln’s speech.
Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.
Abraham Lincoln
November 19, 1863
Since the activity involves warmups, we headed for the fountain for some appropriate rocks.
Circled up and distributed the mission to each Pax.
Me – set 1-2 10 4ct SSH + 10 Curls, and for set 9-10 10 Slow Squat ( no rock ) + 10 front raise
Smooth Set 3-4 LBC + 10 Chest Press
Bogey Set 5-6 Mountai Climbers + 10 Over Head Press
Frac Set 7-8 – 10 Freddy Mercs + 10 Pullovers
I discovered that I, indeed, have NOT overcome some latent ADD symptoms and that I peaked too soon in life.
After 7 rds Sua Sponte manifested itself and Frac led with some Burpee/Man maker alternatives, the fever spread and pretty soon Sua was Spontenating all over the place, for a great laugh and an effective beatdown. Leadership was shared, 2ndF accelerated.
Head back to the flag for Harry Rockets as a finish ( See video on Slack. )
COT
Since the activity involves warmups, we headed for the fountain for some appropriate rocks.
Circled up and distributed the mission to each Pax.
Me – set 1-2 10 4ct SSH + 10 Curls, and for set 9-10 10 Slow Squat ( no rock ) + 10 front raise
Smooth Set 3-4 LBC + 10 Chest Press
Bogey Set 5-6 Mountai Climbers + 10 Over Head Press
Frac Set 7-8 – 10 Freddy Mercs + 10 Pullovers
I discovered that I, indeed, have NOT overcome some latent ADD symptoms and that I peaked too soon in life.
After 7 rds Sua Sponte manifested itself and Frac led with some Burpee/Man maker alternatives, the fever spread and pretty soon Sua was Spontenating all over the place, for a great laugh and an effective beatdown. Leadership was shared, 2ndF accelerated.
Head back to the flag for Harry Rockets as a finish ( See video on Slack. )
COT
13 Pax showed up to better themselves at the Mothership. We had Mathlete from the Northshore and Crawdad a little further north, Toledo if you must know.
3 ran away for fear that YHC might hurt them. I get it. The rest were part of a Veterans Day beat down celebration including a little trivia sprinkled in.
Warmup with regular stuff at the peristyle.
The thang:
10 minutes of 11 WW2 sit-ups and 11 squats followed by 200 meter run. Increase by 11 reps followed by the run until time runs out.
5 minutes of step ups to commemorate fallen veterans to suicide, based on Chad Wilkinson and Chad 1000x.
BLIMPS
All in cadence with a 400 m run between exercises.
COT
Thanks to all veterans for their service.
SYITG
YHC was running late after gathering four large Loofah Gourd’s from my back yard and loading up my vehicle with an 80# sand medicine ball, 60# sandbag and a frisbee. I had agreed to Q at Frac’s suggestion after coffee on Saturday. I didn’t complete the signup until 6:00 am on Sunday, which created some confusion as Vagabond saw an empty signup sheet and was intent on Qing a Halloween themed workout. I arrived at 6:30 ran to the PAX who were lined up and took charge in my rightful role as the officially signed up Q. Vagabond kept the PAX entertained with a Halloween themed selection of music.
The warm up – Grass Grabbers, Abe Vigoda, Imperial Walkers, Side Straddle Hops.
The Thang – Mosey to the Foundry for some Murph training. Two pax took the sand bags while the other PAX used the Frisbee to move to the Foundry. After 5 frisbee throws the coupons would rotate. If the frisbee fell to the ground three burpees. Once at the foundry we began rounds of 5 pullups/rows, 10 Merkins, and 15 Squats. I think the winner was Vagabond with 14 rounds. Using the same mode of transportation we headed to the back of NOMA for some Mary (LBC, Flutter kicks, Freddy Mercuries). 5 Sunday mornings then back to the flag. Where minds were tricked with Loofah treats.
Welcome back Smooth who returned the day before from Spain after finishing his four year work assignment.
FYI My neighbors have an extensive trellis in their back yard and I am often the benefit of their botanical bounties that grow on my side of my fence.
Not a typical garden vegetable, luffa grows slowly and matures well into autumn. It prefers plenty of sunshine, hot summer temperatures, adequate water and well drained soil. In the right conditions, luffa vines grow vigorously, sometimes as long as 30 feet. When provided an overhead trellis, the vines’ tendrils twine and wind up and across overhead supports. They can even create a natural shade canopy.
Eye-catching, sunshine-yellow flowers appear in late summer through early fall. The flowers attract bees, ants and other pollinators. After the flowers are spent, elongated fruits form up and down the vines. They dangle here and there in random fashion.
The adage “things get better with age” applies to luffa. The fruit should fully ripen on the vine before it is harvested. As it matures, the fruit lightens in color and loses water weight. The shell hardens and starts to separate from interior fibers. Typically the vine starts to dry, as well. However, wait too long and the outer shell may over harden, which makes peeling difficult. Decay also can begin, as evidenced by dark spots, when fully ripened fruit is left too long on the vine.
Growers typically break off the mature fruit’s outer shell by slamming it on a hard surface or crushing it with a heavy utensil. If peeling is still difficult, a drench of water sometimes helps. Peeling reveals a spongy fiber within, which should be extracted, washed and squeezed to remove excess water. A bleach-water soak can lessen persistent stains. Otherwise, the fibrous “sponge” should be left in the sun to thoroughly dry, which helps curtail mold growth.
YHC rolled in a touch early to the Peltch to lay out a few stations for our trick or treaters. Greeting Ronnie and Fresh Gi on the way I made a few cone deposits, worked up a lather and visited the haunted ghost toilet for an early backblast. Jeaux had been correct previously noting the eeriness of a densely fogged peltch morning and YHC planned to weave it into todays theme.
On return Ronnie and Gi had been joined by a stout group of 12 more pax. It was another true gloom and YHC had trouble distinguishing everyone but found early inspiration in a returned Fire in the Hole and a sweaty HoneySuckle, already 7 miles deep on the day. (Campaign to rename him RunnySuckle?)
Slowly noting my error in a late groupme invite to wear a costume YHC was ready to be “that guy”’when the Old Testament Tundra rolled in and out stepped Malachi Obadiah Dawson the IV , the great Shepard/Prophet/Early Church Father( his story is in one of those apocryphal books so don’t sweat it ).
It was a clear sign the cardio strain was about to get biblical.
Let’s get it !
Duke! Get the candy corn
It’s F3 Thib Halloween!
Warmup
SSH
IW
Frankensteins (shout out to America’s FrankenBeast )
Bat Wings (10 AC, 10 CP, MNCs, Self Love )
HIgh Knees, Butt Kicks
Indian run to ThunderDome with last man dropping off for 3 Peter Parker Merkins as a shoutout to Gooses lifelong love of the spidey suit.
Because if a full grown man can’t be spiderMan every year till he’s 99 then what are we even doing with all this freedom ?!
We had a fine Indian run with some Halloween selected jamz leading us back to the Tdome for jurps and treats.
As this backblast goes to print we are 28 days into what the critics are calling the greatest ISI of our age. Jurptober has had it all. Feats of strength, bonding, betrayal, ghost poops, Merkin miles, berkin miles (hushtones), ageless wonders, Google sheets meltdowns..all under the careful eye of the Architect. So it was difficult for YHC to refresh the jurpee but if there’s one thing that always moves the needle in F3 Thib it’s the feared emom timer…
YHC dialed up 2 minutes with 3 kraken burpees as the kicker.
All finished in fine form and Smooth beat the clock on round two of the Kraken by atleast 14 seconds.
**Trick or Treat**
Roll first dye – Take standard 15 reps (treat) OR add the trick and roll the second die with lower or higher. (Die have 5-10-15-20-25-30)
We rolled every time we change locations or as a ten count.
Along the way we did Burpees , BBSU, LBCs and Most Pax chose the conservative 15 rep approach. (Lame!)
Mosey to the Chimney to start the Monster Mash
The Main Thang was all about releasing dat Monster within.
We trained in each of the 4 traditional Halloween monster disciplines. Listed below with their correlating groupme hype actors. Name image and likeness were taken from these men with no consent and they will have little help with litigation as my legal team is busy battling no less than 17 active Jurp citations this month.
Da Monsters:
I.) The Werewolf (Yankee Jeaux Jackson before turning full werewolf in the Thriller video)
7 Werewolf’s (Carolina dry dock into upward dog yoga pose )
Run to the chimney , Nur back
1 BBSU
Increase the BBS and decrease werewolves until complete.
This had several pax booking early Monday chiropractic appointments for shoulder evals.
2.) The Zombie
Pax split into equal teams
Hold plank in a line with enough room to frog hop in between. The last pax hop to the front and do 5 merkins. Repeat until your entire team crossed the cone. The return race would be a team arm linked lunge. Epic graveyard race and YHCs vision was too blurry to call it anything but a photo finish.
Mosey to monkey bars
3.) The Vampire (Count Goosula)
Hanging in the Cave
P1 hanging leg raises AMRAP
P2 10 burpees
2 rounds each to complete 40 burpees as a pair.
4.) The Mummy (our Knights in shining Armor Ronnie and Tana)
Pyramid Scheme of Burpees
Bearcrawl to cones
Increasing burpees , then crawl bear during descending burpees
1-2-3-4-5-4-3-2-1
YHC set the course up for some intended gang clashes and was not disappointed when I hit a smooth wrecking ball and was almost shanked by a an optometrist. Ya love to see the competition.
Back to the flag for name off count off
Jurpee numbers (adjust if you see fit)
1 jurp
67 burpees
Merkins depending on graveyard race cycles
50 BBSU
Intentions
Announcements:
AB house party upcoming Nov 11
Goose Leaving the Nest party on Nov 12
(I’m still in denial, it’s just a prank…sigh)
More deets on these in the GroupMe
Ronnie Prayed us out
Had a blast getting better and finding some monsters today men.
Great work
Enjoy a feast on your 2.0s candy
It was well earned.
Here’s a Dox of Chocolates:
Ever found yourself curious as to what a psychedelic experience would feel like? No?…
No one? Okay okay then, play it coy, your secrets safe with me *wink *wink
Buttttt if you had, and didn’t want all the baggage, (health risk, weird shaman named Marley, unhealthy fear of leprechauns) then yesterday morning at Peltier park at approximately 6:39am you had a perfect opportunity. You could have sat right in the Thunderdome, on a bleacher, sober as a church mouse and witnessed quite a trip:
A light fog sizzling off the hard pan spicy grass, backlit by a tremendous blazing full moon. A shadowy hearse standing ominously at center stage. Street light splotches of hazy orange along the pavement. Fluorescent greens and purples from a blow up haunted house add to the dizzying effect. And then you hear the growing foot falls of 11 men, 3 children and a well worn wagon. Led by a desert prophet they jog by single file maniacally tossing dice to and fro. Anchored by a ghostbuster, occasionally one loses all function, drops to the ground and pretends to be spiderMan. They continue in this manner until reaching a pre arranged destination surrounding the hearse. That’s when the shrooms really kick in. They start a synchronous series of exercises while the Blue Oyster Cult reminds them to not fear the reaper. Not satisfied with this they disappear into the gloom looking for more monsters to mash with.
Ya know
Maybe my 6th grade DARE teacher was right
Maybe you can get high on life.
I’ll need a few more beatdown to be sure…
SYITG
Dox
“Everyone has a plan, till you get punched in the face by the iron fist of a 3 week old” YHC thought as he sent the mayday text to Goose at 5:10a “start the warm up then Jurp them boys and jurp them good!”
Apparently newborn vomitus waits for no man and after some mischief was managed I put the Dox mobile into a hi 5th, ya hate to be late to a bake-off !!
When the great creator of the Jurp (some circles only whisper his name as “the architect”) unveiled the Jurpee extra curriculars YHC thought they looked like a recipe’s ingredient list. I knew that could be used, but it sat in the “save for beatdown file” waiting for a spark. Stephen King says the creation of any good story starts with a cup (the content) and you just need to add a handle (the conflict/action) to carry it. When YHCs M reminded me of a fresh season of the Great British Baking Show I had just the Handle I needed. Ya see unlike more productive pandemic hobbies (Cardinal’s coffee roasting and Jeaux’s Peleton) YHC picked up this ultra addictive baking show. It had all the fine qualities YHC loves in a tV show. No plot, no characters to remember. Comedians hired to stir the pot. PLUS you can fall asleep in season 2 , wake up in season 7 and they are baking the same bread with the same quippy satire. No spoilers, no recap. Just pastry’s and focaccia and zero stress.
Bliss
In review : Cup plus handle plus prime time gloom= a bake off themed beatdown
Duke! Get the bean footage!
On your mark , get set , bake!
Warmup –
Completed by Goose as YHC performed burp cloth windmills and imperial wet diapers.
The Signature Bake
Dish : 2 pots of oven baked JurpeeLaya- Just add pax
Serve fresh with a late Q.
YHC rolled in hot after an agonizingly long ride behind a cane truck and picked up about 1.25 jurps in. This segwayed nicely into the explanation of the Jurpee as a classic signature bake. It’s familiar, repeatable, and you can present it with confidence even if Paul Hollywood says your jump sqats look stodgy and your leg raises are still raw in the center.
The Technical Bake:
Dish : The Paul HollyWebb
Usually difficult with very little instructions involving complex ingredient ratios.
Our bakers had to attempt a Paul Holliwebb bake that included a 1 mile run and some mixed Jack Webbs
First at the port a jon for Bonnie Blair’s and Merkins.
Increases by 1 and 2 till we finished with 6 Bonnie’s and 12 merkins
(Total : 16 Bonnie’s , 30 merkins)
There were zero complaints about the OctoberBest Merkin fest on Saturday
German engineering at its best.
Round 2
V/ups / BBSU
1 BBSU/2 BBSU till we got till 6 BBSU and 12
(Total : 24 v ups ish
(Memory is hazy here so please modify your numbers if that’s the truth in your heart)
**at the time of this writing leg raises outside of a jurp will be put on trial by the Rienzi Inquisition.
Goodness gracious , this ISI has more asterisks than the McGuire/Sosa homerun race ***
Took it to Coupon Alley with a 3 burpee Indian Run on the way
The ShowStopper
The last bake of the show
This one is everything you got
All out , hammer down, no brakes.
Which logically lead us to …
The Diddle Death March ManMaker Mile brought to you by Betty Crocker
Inspired by Diddles personal touch to close out a bd with nothing left but a puddle of pax.
10 Manmakers
Run to stage
1 Burpees
In Elevens format we decreases the manmakers and increased the burpees till time or death do us part.
The plan was to make enough rounds to generate a mile but the pax were saved by the bell.
In the great white tent of the British bake contestants are always up against the clock and todays bake was no different.
Goose and Pope went pretty deep into the man makers and got Dox Hollywood handshakes.
Smooth gets Star Baker for gutting out a heavy run Q and I think we hit 2.5 “Okays”
Announcements
Invigor8 Grant FB live event tomm 7pm
Link will be on groupme
COT and Popeye prayed us out
Bulletin Board Material:
Jurptown USA has formally changed its name to SmugVille City led by Mayor Goose.
They sit on a mountain of points and dare a challenger to come and take the trophy.
Do not let them go gently into the night !
Here’s a Dox of Chocolates :
Have you ever seen someone and just for a split second it wasnt how you usually see them. I know you are thinking “dox put the shrooms down “ but hear me out. Like in a crowded airport when you unexpectedly see a family member or as you pass a loved one in traffic. Sometimes just for a microsecond your brain sees them as any other stranger would. Then almost instantaneously your brain catches up and the recognition kicks in. And in that microsecond window of time you go from “complete unknown variable” to filling in all the experiences you have had with the subject in question. Then you have special moment of grace realizing the connection.
Well this morning while rocketing down 308 behind the aforementioned cane truck I was too absorbed to realize I was already parallel with the stage. The opposite lane was full of another 2 cane trucks (Tis the season) and then suddenly cleared. There in the gloom were 7 men suspended in perfect jurp squat unison. Pushing past their own pain to help sharpen the one next to them. I’d never seen it like that , from the outside. It was glorious. For just that blink of time I didn’t know what it was. Then I smiled, pulled in and jumped into the fray, filled with gratitude for these high impact fellows.
A privilege to lead men
SYITG
Dox
The year is 2011. Adeles “Rolling in the Deep” topped the charts. The Jefferson vs Lee qb controversy raged across the state. Wilfred Montana was ranked internationally in Call of duty. F3 was just 30 dudes at a park in North Carolina. What a time to be alive !
It was this very year YHC and his future M had advanced into that special realm of the relationship called “meeting the family”. The mission of this weekend trip was simple: meet family , make a good impression and hide your IBS at all costs. Well they say everyone has a plan till you get punched in the mouth. And most of the IBS crew will add that you also have a plan until you heap salad on top of Billy’s boudin balls (pepperJack of course, shout out Krotz Springs) ) and sprinkle in the nerves of meeting your potential future in laws. It was amidst these trials and tribulations of gastrointestinal chaos that YHC was handed an even greater task. Returning from yet another bathroom break YHC was ambushed by his Ms sister holding a pint sized human, colloquially known as a “baby”. I would later find out this was my Ms niece who was thrust into my arms with the awkward wink and even more awkward comment to the baby “it’s your future uncle Devin “ …
I held her with both arms extended from my body like a diapered grenade, unsure what to do next. My future sister in law saw the panic set in.
“She…she won’t explode ..ya know. Just walk with her, she likes that.”
I began a slow rhythmic walking and patting of the tiny human that any Native Americans would have appreciated as a rain dance. She found it neither comforting nor humorous and began to sing the song of her people. I immediately handed her back. “Is there an off button?” I asked and was met with shaking heads and pity.
Later, on the long road back to Shreveport, Ashley inquired further. “So is that like the first baby you have ever seen in your life?” She asked as hwy 90 zipped by. I pondered it , then agreed
“Yea , I think so. What a strange thing, I’ll try to limit my exposure in the future. Hey we are coming up on Billy’s! Want an order of boudin?! …
And so we fast forward in the back-blast Time Machine and bring you to this morning at the Lions Den. Where 12 men showed up to help YHC shake off the rust (it’s been 7ish years) and welcome my 2.3. YHC is not the only pax with a baby on the way and figured September is a fine month for sharpening skills.
Duke get the Boudreaux butt paste and roll the footage !
It’s a baby dedication beatdown !
Warmup
The usuals with Tana doing whatever he pleases in stark rebellion. Smooth looked dashing in Hawaiian print and Ronnie wanted it noted that after silent reflection he has named most of the Thibodaux pax.
Mosey to Hill and some of the pax had the early itch we call the basketball Jones. Goose practically begged for it to be played so JBL serenaded us with the Cheech and Chong classic. (Sorry AB, you missed it again)
Thang 1
First things first
Getting the Baby News
Arms Wide Open – Creed
On the hwy hill, lunges up to backward lunges down with a Navy Seal burpee on “With arms wide open”
The PAX cut the total time in half with correct answers from Enron, Dilly and Goose about Creeds 1999 Human Clay album led by Scott Stapp. A nice warmup.
Next to rush to the hospital for delivery :
Indian Run around the reservoir to the bball court with last man dropping off to do 3 flying squirrels for some hidden IPC prep
At the ball court:
There’s no point in even having a baby these days if you can’t blast it on all your socials right?!
YHC took center court for “Baby” by Justin Bieber (2010’s My Way 2.0 album )
The pax failed to guess these (Horn was sorely missed) but a gracious YHC gave DJ Ronnie credit for knowing Ludacris was featured. Deep rap knowledge from dem 318 bawzzz!
Additional credit for pax guessing each round of Babies at 18 reps .
Tin soldiers on song
Bobby hurleys on Baby
For a ten count YHC requested Dad Jokes and was not surprised to find the pax can go deep into the night before that tank is empty.
So now we are home with a new human and excited about it. What’s next ? Hello darkness my old friend for 6 months?
No Dox! no , we’ve been through this.
Do Tanas restorative yoga breathing ? ? A useful tool yes , but some of us aren’t that advanced in the ways of eastern medicines.
It’s time for the cry baby checklist !
(No not the one one about Jeauxs manniversary , that’s another beatdown)
Here’s the essential question I remember from 7 years ago , the question that all actions revolve around for months.
The question is:
What in Sam Hill could that baby have to cry about ??
Furthermore why did it not listen when I told it in my plain broken English to please stop crying ??
Duke! Get the checklist!
1.) Does the baby need diaper changed?
Rule: Assess the Damage and watch for shooters
“7’s” donkey kicks/jump tucks
Start out with 7 DKs to get down low and assess the damage and sprint to other end of court 1 JT so you can avoid the shooter (urination from a male baby) then Nur back for 6 DKs/2 JTs
Repeato
2. Proper Waste Management:
Rule : Kobe 4 Lyfe
If you are not involved directly in the changing of the waste then you can atleast take part in its disposal. One absolute necessity as a father is that you take the #1 diapers and shoot them into the trash can like Kobe. It’s an innate talent passed on from our own fathers who shot the urine cotton conglomerate and whispered “mJ” or “Wilt” But for YHCs generation there was no greater jeer than landing a nothing but net shot with a wad of college rule paper right in your 7th grade janitors face (and maybe a crowd of 8th grade girls) and hitting him with the “KOBE!!”
Side note: It’s been a while but I do strongly suggest this with only the #2s dipes.
This logically lead us to …
F3 Put Out (Gotcha)
SSH in line while waiting
Mosey the court once you are out
Last man standing
YHC could tell Tana was in the zone early when he renamed the game Diaper Dandies. It came down to Dilly, Goose and BoneT to hold him off but his game was too strong today and he took the trophy and awarded the pax 10 burpees.
#3 Is the baby Gassy?
Rule: baby pat rain dance
Partner Up:
80 no cheat merkins 10 at a time while partner does gas pumps.
YHC introduced Tana to concrete back farts while Enron and Valve listened to his mounting concern that we should call GI Joe for consultation. Hypotenuse was silently googling CrossFit locations.
#4 Is the baby Hungry ?
**this was scratched for time, you’ll thank me on Saturday**
Moseyed back to the flag for :
#5 do they need to be held ?
So Close by Calvin Harris
We took this jam to the buzzer with mixed Abs and Freddy mercuries.
COT
Announcements : IPC week 1 Saturday at the peltch. Watch the vids and practice your flying squirrels at home.
Shoutout:
T-Claps to Hypotenuse with back to back posts looking like a very solid addition to the already stacked ‘23 draft class .
our intentions and prayers for expecting families
Popeye prayed us out
Thank you for the lead today men
It was a much needed reminder at the difficulties ahead but also for the gratitude of this community and strength God provides through your brotherhood.
Epilogue :
2080
West Lafourche
“Baby ,baby ,baby ahhhh, like baby, baby, baby awww, I thought you’d always be mine “ the man sang has he jogged into Highland Lakes wrapping up his sprint home from his 60th manniversarv.
He walked inside after giving the ole Sprinter (with the personalized RONNIE plates) two pats on the hood. “She’s still got it” he said walking in to find his M in need of help to dispose of a diaper from their great great grand-baby (4.0). He grabbed the diaper, side stepped the defense and drained it into the waste basket 30 feet away. “Kobe” he whispered looking at the old framed picture of the bayous finest men around a shovel flag. “Kobe …”
SYITG
Dox
THE FELLOWSHIP THANG
Often times during large events there are pivotal moments that go unnoticed. One minuscule decision where success or failure hinges upon a singular action. Sometimes these remain in the dark. An unsung hero never revealed. Silently knowing the weight of their contribution. But during the 2nd annual St Vincent 500 this very thing occurred and today we shall shed the light.
Ya see, It was early during the St. Vincent 500 cookout on Friday evening, the music was fine (shoutout Caniacs) and the delicious jambalaya was flowing, courtesy of Headcheese and the Bourgeois Meat Market. Just one small problem,…We …well folks we had a trash issue. In haste YHC had mistakenly grabbed bathroom trash bags to put into 32-gallon trash cans. Ya hate to see it.
The jambalaya plates were stacking up. The bags stretched thin. Lil Cuz disgusted he could not throw away his plate and immediately eat another and you know how he gets when he’s hungry for JUMBOlaya!
All seemed lost.
With the event Teetering on the brink of mass hysteria I heard a low confident voice at my shoulder. A voice molded by years of unheard lectures, it was calm and consoling.
“Dox, take deep a deep breath, I can fix this”
I turned and saw it in his eyes, this man was all in.
“Fly! Fly like the wind Jeaux! You are our only hope!” I yelled as the tires of the douche wagon squealed silently and our knight in the blue Prius faded away on eastbound 308.
We held our breath ..…
If you are still with me (and it’s an excused absence if not)
You may now be asking yourself “What does an eco-friendly sedan and a garbage mishap have to do with the greatest beatdown fundraiser west Lafourche has ever seen?”
Well…everything
Duke! Roll that footage it’s time to go racing, and we have a pharmacy in need !!
26 High impact men assembled at the Stage for the 2nd annual St Vincent 500.
Our local crew showed up in force early to set the course. Pretty sure Smooth camped out like Woodstock, living on Bourgeois Jambalaya and dat Dawg was STILL hungry for coupon OHPs. Many hands made light work as we counted our pennies and made notes to all our 2.0 investors that their tuppens would be well borrowed. Our brothers from the north and south shores soon arrived. Some early chatter that the noted absences from NOLA were due to late night promo code camp outs for the T-Swift tour. YHC will expect courtesy tickets for …”a friend”
The Northshore gang rolled in just in time. The legend of Tanked Up had been propelled all year after his awe inspiring performance at the 22 SV. He strolled in trophy in hand with Grundy at his side using the Theragun with precision intimidation to all our pax. Reluctant Yankee and Sandbar came in strong followed by Zoolander with Blue steel good looks even at 6:30a. Just like that it was go time!
THE FITNESS THANG
The Stage was set, and Goose was elected as Q for his exemplary public speaking and dashing short shorts. He led us in a thorough race explanation and warmup with side glances at Yankee about to establish a no tolerance policy for shakira shimmy Bonnie Blair’s.
The race is a 2 man event covering 1 mile with 20 exercise stations interspersed on the course around Richman’s loop. Just a simple fun run ya know.
You have 1 hour to traverse the course and at each station picking up points as you go.
There are three levels at each station : gold(25) silver (15) bronze (10) with 500 points available if your dare.
The stations set by Goose this year and he was in the zoneeee:
Thrusters: 30, 60, 90
· Hello Dollys: 50, 100, 150
· Curls: 50, 150, 250
· Burpees: 30, 50, 100
· WWI situps: 40, 100, 150
· Genuflections: 40, 60, 100
· Tricep extensions: 50, 150, 250
· Gas pumps: 40, 80, 120
· Apolo Onos (2:1): 40, 60, 100
· Moroccan Night Clubs (2:1): 100, 200, 300
· Pickle Pounders: 40, 80, 120
· Monkey humpers (calves to thighs): 40, 100, 200
· Coupon OHP: 40, 80, 120
· Leg Raises: 50, 100, 200
· Bobby Hurleys: 40, 80, 120
· Chill cut Peter Parkers (2:1): 30, 60, 100
· Freddy Mercurys (2:1): 50, 150, 250
· Bonnie Blairs (2:1): 40, 80, 120
· Partner Dora (bumper)—Suicide, Mission Impossible plank: 2 rounds for each partner (4 rounds total), 4 rounds for each (8 total), 6 rounds for each (12 total); if need to rest on plank, have to tell running partner to pause
· Partner Dora (grass)—Lunge Walk there, run back; SSH: 200, 300, 400
We wrapped up the instructions and warmup and there were no more pleasantries to exchange. Time to go racing.
The horn blew at 7:22a with most functional teams ready to go at their stations and 1-2 dysfunctional relationships lost at sea.
Team points and observations below (to my best recollection of the points I jotted down and names, if this is incorrect please write your Representative)
Dox/ Gecko 175
We came, We saw…We got a lot of pennies.
Got Gecko on my 1997 Creatine and peanut butter sandwich diet…early favorites for 2033.
Dumbledore/GIJoe 180
Classic pairing here of a rookie with untapped potential and the OG of Ogs, veteran GI Joe. Can we talk about Dumbledores first two posts: A Thursday paradiddle followed by the SV500 would make most veterans reconsider their C’s or HC’s but he silently showed up and put in some absolute work! Killer postfolio hes building.
Also tons of local reports out of 12 Cedars that Joe has ditched the golf clubs and has been black ops prepping on the streets of Thibodaux. Don’t call it a comeback this man is a regular. #GIJOE4LYFE
Wet Tap/Spec 200
Unstoppable forces plowing through immovable objects. These men will humbly do goblet squats for weeks before realizing the rest of us were squatting air.
Team “Don’t Weaken” lived up to the family creed. Great effort.
Michelin/Percolator 205
Team shake and bake coming in hot with Percs OG knowledge all the way from BR. Michelin transforming into a coupon OHP machine in front of our eyes. Ya love to see it. Great to catch up with ya Perc!
Smooth/Suckle 295
Officially dubbed Thunder and Lightning these men were a true combination of Rottweiler and Greyhound. HS gets to tell all his ultra friends he did a “1 mile fun run” and Smooth lifted a combined 18-wheeler worth of coupons. Well done.
Safety Valve/ Cardinal 310
In most prison movies theres a scene where a old inmate teaches a new guy the ropes. Cardinal fell right into his role here teaching valve the “proper” form on coupon avoidance techniques and how to ask extra questions to buy yourself a ten count. Valve continued to display his quiet strength and running prowess.
Sandbar/Reluctant Yankee 325
(*this was a ballpark # recorded post-race and if yall had different, chime in)
Team Southshore, making it look easy! T-claps to you gents for making the drive, especially for RY for making the early haul after taking his 2.0 to college the night before. Southshore was well represented and we always enjoy the Yankee drop-ins during holidays.
Cuz/Popeye 325
Nice performance here from Team Yeet ‘Em and Street Em. Popeye already solidified as the comeback performance of the ’23 pax year and even further padding his stats while carrying Cuz. Don’t get me wrong Cuz was putting in the work, just seemed distracted asking YHC why we couldn’t add the Punisher symbol to the SV500 logo. #TundraTough…. It’s a lifestyle.
Ronnie/YJ 355
Many high level analyst saying YJ exercised the demons of 2022 with the tremendous ab and leg prep May – August and despite cranking tents and tables all day on Friday both these men laid down game day strains. Ronnie looking jacked Diesel in that tank sonnn.
Goose/Zoolander 380
YHC was setup behind the form as impeccable (as expected) but the push to get the next level (silver to gold) was inspiring. Just two great Pax leaders ripping burpees or was it a Calvin Klein commercial.
Pope/Paradiddle- 425
For real, For real! When YHC heard earlier in the week this team was pairing up I had them pegged as a dark horse pick. Pope has shown many traits of having dat dawggg this year and its been so awesome watching him grow and having him at weekday beatdowns.
If you aren’t local and don’t know the maniac formerly known as Diddle let me read you his bio….
Favorite song: Numb- Linkin Park
Likes: Cardio
Dislikes: Ppl who dislike Cardio
Hometown: Zone 5 and He’s the Mayor
These men represented the Thib pax to the last rep and YHC couldn’t be prouder. This will be a team to watch for years to come.
THE CHAMPS….
When the dust settled we had 3 teams that separated themselves from the pack. In a photo finish Tanked and Grundy retained the SV500 title narrowly escaping the youthful legs of Pope and Paradiddle. Leading the youth division (under 18) Redfish/Coyote with an impressive 500 points. The future is bright for these 2.0 studs.
Tanked Up/ Grundy 435
Incredibly impressive, especially with the tweaks Goose built this year. Station 19 and 20 Doras were both physically and psychologically punishing. Tclaps to the gentlemen for continuing to rep the Northshore. See you next year!!!
After copious amounts of water/ Gatorade and shaking off heat stroke symptoms we wrapped up with COT and Cardinal Prayed us out.
Coffeeteria with donuts provided by St. Vincent pharmacy staff and volunteers.
I will pass along the gratitude from the entire St. Vincent pharmacy staff and board in thanking everyone involved in this event and fundraising endeavor. It’s been 2 years since we started discussing ways to help with the pharmacy after the devastation of Hurricane Ida and continued strain from the pandemic and I could have never imagined this level of support from F3 and the community. I’m proud to announce that with our contributions this year ($9517.50) we have raised over $20, 000 in the last 2 years for the pharmacy to continue to provide for people in need of life-saving medications. Looking forward to continuing to find ways to support this great organization.
Epilogue
THE FAITH THANG
The heaping trash continued to tumble out of the micro trash bag and the tension was palpable. No one had seen this much garbage since the Naboo storyline in Episode 1 (RIP Jar Jar). Soon the sheer amount of plastic would overtake our oxygen supply. YHC was grasping at straws. We had to keep our composure. Cardinal was even running diversion tactics by introducing new schisms to the pax. “Hey you guys know how pirogue is pronounced??”
And just when we had reached our darkest hour there came the return of the silent sedan over the hill like Gandalf into Helms deep. In place of a blazing white staff he proceeded to unveil the largest trash bag ever created on planet earth. We placed the entire events trash inside and it still looked empty. What and why this unit of plastic could be used for, other than oceans of trash, is beyond me. When Jeaux was pressed about it he only mumbled something about his affairs in international waters not being my business. He silently went on about his duty of peddling event t-shirts and correcting form. Not all heroes bring hefty’s.
So here’s the very thing about the men of F3 Thibodaux. Ask them to grab a trash bag and they bring you TrashZilla Rex, the king of all trash. Need a JUMBolaya pot? Here’s one you can swim in! Need 1-2 ice chests? Ho Hum, here’s 5 Yetis all 30A approved. Ask them to do burpees, why not Kraken Burpees on emom timer. Ask them for stretching and you get a Diddle death march.
And how about ask them to support a charity pharmacy in 115 heat indices with a back-to-back 2 day event?? One that has been there for so many in need for 2 decades and needed that same support. Well, you already know how that ends. The chips are low, a wolf at the door or a man alone in the darkness and these pax will stand up and serve those less fortunate. I could not be prouder to stand beside them.
SYITG,
Paradox
