F3 New Orleans

Tag: Popeyes

  • Now Accepting New Schisms! – from Honeysuckle

    YHC arrived to Tuesday Tuff still a little in shock at what happened at the previous day’s beatdown. Because YHC wasn’t there, the goings-on were unclear based on a few cryptic GroupMe messages, but the backblast left very little to the imagination. The mood in general was upbeat, but was Paradox just putting on a brave face? Has he secretly started building a time machine (in a truck, as a Delorean was unavailable), to eventually be used to show up from the future to the 22 July 2024 beatdown to try to stop it from happening (but to ultimately show up too late due to a Go Bears stop)? Too much to process now; lets get down to business.

    Warmarama: SSH, Imperial Walkers, Windmills, Willie Mays Hayes, Arm Circles (F/R), Cherry Pickers, Mountain Climbers

    Thangs 1 & 2:

    An on-the-fly improvement combined the plan to run first and then do the exercises second, so that the run was broken up into segments. The exercises today were to be a schism in
    form. Two teams were created, and within each team half of the participants did some sort of isometric hold while the others did exercises with movement. The reps of the exercises were counted, and the goal was to get to as high of a rep count as possible before the other teammates’ isometric holds failed. Then the same thing
    is done with the roles reversed.

    Rich man’s loop was traversed with several stops covering the following exercises:

    1) Plank (iso), merkin
    2) Al Gore (iso), Bobby Hurley
    3) Boat/canoe (iso), Big Boy Situps
    4) Crab/tabletop (iso), Bonnie Blair

    This took quite a bit of time as the PAX are in pretty good shape and those iso holds lasted a while, especially the tabletop. YHC thinks that the PAX could have held them much longer if they had to, but there was a lot of compassion for the teammates struggling through the Bonnie Blairs and wondering about the grass cultivars.

    Thang 3:

    PAX ran back to the stage. Then YHC discussed a personal schism (it creeps M out) over a song whose subject matter is supernatural beings activities in a European capitol. Goose correctly guessed “Werewolves of London.” There was lots of confusion among “An American in Paris”, “An American Werewolf in London”, and “An American Werewolf in Paris” (the last of which does not exist). Other trivia was, what food is a werewolf looking for (Beef chow mein) and what drink was a werewolf observed drinking (Pina Colada). The PAX did not get these. Ultimately they were to be saved by the bell so they endured no penalty.

    While we listened to the song, PAX could choose to SSH or Hillbilly walk. During
    the howl and chorus, PAX was to do werewolves.

    YHC expected someone to note the similarity in the song with “All Summer Long” by Kid Rock, and Paradox couldn’t put his finger on the song but knew several lyrics. This was going to be part of the post-song trivia: what song was the “Werewolves of London” accused of ripping off the chord progression from (Sweet Home Alabama). And then what later song was a melding of “werewolves in London” and “Sweet Home Alabama” … the answer being “All Summer Long”.

    Announcements included the ANIMAL going from Paradox to Goose, due to Goose answering the bonus question of the line (from WIL) “I’d like to meet his tailor” sometimes being changed to mention what singer/songwriter (A: James Taylor). The Fire Within went from YHC to Popeye for a belated appreciation of forcing YHC to face his fears of doing weighted crabwalks in last week’s beatdown.

    Paradox has been hard at work with planning the Brother’s Keeper 500. Look for details soon.

    Paradox also prayed us out.

    Thank you, gentlemen, for showing up and for your effort today.

    I heard it through the Honeysuckle vine:
    Upon further reflection, “Werewolves in London” seems to capture the relationship between F3T and schisms. On the one hand, there are warnings about them and angst about what they do, but there is a clear undertone of admiration.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Mercy Toward Heretics – from Goose

    There is one among our company who claims to be a healer of rifts, recently those of the musical variety, while simultaneously spouting blasphemies (of the musical variety) on a very consistent basis. Feigning Homerian ignorance, this individual purposefully rubs an already musically chafed goose the wrong way at every opportunity while pretending to lead a Yankovician “Can’t we all just get along” campaign. Yes, there is, of course, a place for playful banter, but one you cross the line into blasphemous heresy, there is only one remedy. The heretic must be reformed, often violently, in order to mercifully save him from the fiery justice that such error duly deserves.

    So, today’s goal would be to straighten the bent mind and heart of the heretic via education and suffering. The topics that would be covered:
    -Who is Peter Gabriel? Are he and Phil Collins the same person?
    -Would Peter Gabriel be listed on the credits of any song on a Bieber or Lil’ John album? What about 3rd Bass?
    -Would Peter Gabriel be involved in any way in country (or western) music?
    -What songs did Peter Gabriel sing, and what impact did they have on life, the universe, and everything?

    After a robust warmup (necessary after Coyote’s flogging), we grabbed coupons and headed to the start of the new area of road, which Popeye has officially dubbed (and shall henceforth be known as) “The Stretch”. The Thang was simple. YHC would ask Paradox a question, and if he got it right, the PAX would mosey to the third set of pipes (50 or so yards away) and back. If he got it wrong, the PAX would sprint a suicide to the first, second, and third set of pipes in under 30 seconds, well…maybe a full minute…if my watch would just…hold on…ok, just friggin’ do it fast.
    After the run, a song appropriate the question would be played with corresponding exercises. As follows:

    1. What band were Peter Gabriel (PG) and Phil Collins (PC) in together before their solo careers?

    -Answer: Genesis. Dox got this one pretty quick, but YHC knew that he had pretty much maxed out his knowledge on the subject at this point, and luck would be the only thing that would save the PAX moving forward.

    Song: “That’s All” by Genesis, post PG exit: The Pax lined up and did standing lunges arm-in-arm, but on every “That’s All” each in turn left the group and did 5 star jumps on their own, solo.

    2. PG and PC went opposite directions when it came to how they approached lyrics: one used lyrics that sound deep but aren’t, while the other used lyrics that sound meaningless but are usually an effort at artistic depth. Which is which?

    -Answer: PG sounds crazy but is going for depth, while PC, ever the drummer, is just using cool sounding words that fit the rhythm. Dox got this one correct, too, which showed progress–he actually cared enough to distinguish and think through what made each musician unique. This was a good sign, but much work was clearly still needed.

    Song: “Sussudio” by PC (pure nonsense, but sounds like the beating heart of the 80’s): plank jacks, merkins on “sussudio”. YHC mercifully stopped this one a little over halfway through.

    3. Best 3/5 lyrics match–which one (PG or PC) is responsible for the following lyrics?
    1. When you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand…(PC)
    2. If looks could kill they probably will in games without frontiers, wear without tears (PG)
    3. Don’t you know you’ve got to shock the monkey, shock the monkey tonight (PG)
    4. And the bulge in my big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big (PG)
    5. You could have a steam train, if you just lay down your tracks (PG)

    This is where some retributive purgation took place. Just playing the odds wouldn’t work here (and they didn’t), though Popeye, or the absent AB or Honeysuckle could get these in their sleep. The heretic, though making good progress, needed to see just how far away the goal of true reformation still was. The suicide was long.

    Song: “Big Time” by PG: penguins for the duration, BBSU on “Big”

    5. What was PG’s greatest hit, his most well-known song by far, and which is still rated in top five of music videos of all time?

    Answer: Sledgehammer. YHC thought this might be a gimme, but Dox’s disregard for PG as a person and artist as well as most 80’s music in general had brought him to this lowly state. Another suicide.

    Song: “Sledgehammer” by PG: block calf raises for the duration, curls on “sledge” and for the duration of the bridge

    6. And, last but not least, what was the PG song playing from John Cusack’s famous romantic boombox scene?

    Answer: In Your Eyes. Though Dox had the movie title, “Say Anything”, the song was nowhere on the radar, so the sprinting continued.

    At this point, an elderly man involved in the road project had backed his truck in just behind the barricade, which put him about 10 feet from us. And, there he sat, in his truck with the window down, pretending not to notice 5 men sweating to the 80’s with cinder blocks hovering over their faces.

    Song: “In Your Eyes” by PG: hold blocks in bench press position, skull crusher on every “in your eyes”.

    Time ran short on us, otherwise, our friend would have enjoyed some Shock the Monkey Humpers. Next time.

    COT and Popeye prayed us out.

    Many thanks to Dox for being willing to show up just to be singled out and treated like a leper for 40 minutes, and many thanks Safety Valve and Popeye who were willing to endure his reformation treatment. (Pope didn’t have a choice.) I’d say thanks to Peter Gabriel, but his music is a little outdated.

    SYITG,
    Goose
    1. In Your Eyes: hold block press, skull crusher on in your eyes

  • Keep Thibodaux Weird – from Paradox

    YHC has been privileged to play a role in many of the storied F3 Thibodaux Schisms through the years. Sometimes as an ardent supporter, other times, ashamedly, as a lead instigator. As the great Creed Bratton once remarked “…more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader”. While his comment may have been referring to cultish behavior, I think the general principle applies here and I’ve now met my weekly quota of Creed quotes. And so, it’s with this schism experience that YHC feels qualified to observe the subtleties present in schism infancy. It starts at an almost undetectable level. Just a slight twitch of the eyelid during Smashmouth Allstars. Then it builds. A facial wince when you hear mainstream 90s classics and you start to avoid people that use the term “Champagne Supernova” for all the things that are great in their life. Followed by audible disdain to your cohorts about one genre/decade being more elite than another. Then, like clockwork there is a “boiling over” event. For example, no one recognizing “Lucas with the Lid Off” followed by GroupMe affirmations for the more recognizable 3rd Bass “Pop goes the Weasel” (complete random example). And just like that we are off to the races. A few laugh emojis don’t go your way and your supper doesn’t taste as sweet. You get backed into a corner and know the only way out is weapons of eardrum destruction you’ve been hiding in the dark for years, ready to lash out at moment’s notice. You dig in, readying your Spotify missiles for a lengthy war and you begin searching through old LimeWire and Napster accounts…

    But not today my brothers.

    Today, just like your optometrically prescribed headband, we will promote healing!

    But how?

    How could we thaw the frozen hearts of 90s genre elitism?

    YHC saw only one way out.

    A single artist.

    His work spanning 4 decades.

    No genre left standing in his wake.

    Today we would utilize him as an instrument of peace.

    Today..we would get WEIRD.

    Duke get your accordion and play that funky bean footage!!

    9 pax warmup of the usuals, highlighted by two late arriving ecofriendly PAX vehicles. Tanas fueled by the hard labor of rural PCPs and ABs running off his own supply of colon-to-tank methane.

    THE CONCERT THANG

    Simple and direct today.
    We would take the top 5 Weird Al hits, modify them a touch and enjoy some of the finest lyrics created in the last 40 years. YHC would sprinkle in trivia between songs.

    Correct 10 curls

    Incorrect 25 Monkey Humpers because with the trivia masterminds present you have to up the ante. These llamas play for keeps plus Pope is now 20/20 on beatdown Star Wars trivia.

    # 1 White and Nerdy
    Holding coupon Scissor Kicks , Swap on White and Nerdy , Coupon presses while holding 6 inches on song

    What famed physicist is in his library? (Hawking)
    In the song He denotes a numeral value referencing a polygon associated with this famed mathematician? (Pascal)

    10 Curls for Correct Hawking, 25 MH’s for lack of Pascal knowledge.

    #2 The Saga Begins
    Trigger on Star Wars characters and planets , and Jedi
    Around the galaxy lunges during song, Jungle Boi squat on triggers

    Which Star Wars movie specifically was Bring parodied in this song? (Phantom Menace)
    Jar Jar Binks species and home planet ? (Gungan, Naboo)
    Meaning youthful and untrained , anakin is referred by this term during his early Jedi training? (Padawan)

    # 3 Eat It
    Big Boys with Coupon , Sitting OHP on Eat It’s

    Beat it 2008 was a poorly received tribute done by this pop group ?
    Black eyed peas- Again, YHC’s error at mis labeling legumes and black eyes but the pax really needed dat lactic acid boost so we did 25 MHs.

    # 4 Amish Paradise —YHC’s personal favorite of the collection.
    Inchworm crawl out to HR Merkin during song
    Thrusters on Paradise

    The song parodied here was the #1 teach featured on the soundtrack of this 1995 movie ? (Dangerous Minds)
    Can’t you just imagine AB in his freshman dorm watching Dangerous Minds in his Jncos and chain wallet, a couple Oasis poster on wall. Life is Good!
    The teacher in this film played by whom and is nicknamed what? WHITEBREAD
    Goose was awarded partial credit for attempts at White Witch and 10 MHs were deducted.

    #5 FAT
    Squat side Kicks , Bonnie Blair’s on fat
    This parodied song was originally planned as a duet with what other royalty of 80s rock ? (Prince)
    **As the day unfolded our local investigative journo Mr. Wilford Montana unearthed an entire Prince vs MJ beef that is quite a rollercoaster including Prince trying to run over MJ in a parking lot followed by MJ calling Prince a “meanie” for the attempted vehicular manslaughter.

    We needed a recovery mosey to really smell the Nirvana and Goose needed to show King Pickleball he still has enough Sprint coverage for all the dead zones.

    Captain D’s bestowed the Animal to Valveline, noted that he rubbed some dirt on a fractured foot and posted all week.

    Valve awarded Jedediah Dawson aka Pope yet another well-deserved Fire Within for pumping out sitting OHPs while telling YHC Weird Al was too weird for his taste..hmmm…must be a Pete Gabriel guy.

    COT and Goose prayed us out

    Thanks for getting Weird with me today fellas

    POSTingSCRIPTs

    You know those safety signs in plants that denote “X number of days since the last safety incident”?

    Well, at F3 Thibodaux the peace of Weird Al led to a combined schism healing of 32 minutes before a recurrent 90s Pax villain threatened to reveal his Offspring and an Ace up his sleeve in the near future. This, in turn, stirred up at least two other delinquents who promptly started calling each other Aswads… and we were back at square one with 45 minutes of hard earned therapy down the toilet. The only course left was an apology…

    To Mr. Weird Alfred Matthew Yankovic:

    I tried your methods and found them useful but we may need a longer treatment plan to Smash these Pumpkins. Its like I’m trying to Reel in a Big Blowfish, not just a Hootie, but I’m keeping a Third Eye Blind to the mid 40’s Dinosaur Jr’s with no respect for the Pax still in the Green River of their youth.

    I’m just trying to save some Collective Souls in this Asylum but the more I fight for the Right to Party the more I realize that some of these Ricks just like to Roll and the rest of these goo goo dolls prefer to troll. Some are happy to see Dave Mathews churn, but some, well some just want strike a Matchbox 20 and watch it Burn.

    Thank you for keeping it Weird Mr. Al

    See you in the Grunge

    Dox

  • A Stroll Down Lack-of-Memory Lane (Minus the Stroll) – from Goose

    The presence of good ol’ Safety Valve has become synonymous with the F3 Thibodaux beatdown experience for months now since he decided to show up for just about everything. And, when that kind of thing happens, long-term absence of said individual has major affects not only on the the morale of the one absent but on that of the whole PAX (i.e., Y.J.). So, after hearing that Valve’s broken foot hadn’t improved much over the two-week rest period, YHC knew it was time to take matters into his own hands.

    It was time to build a beatdown that would kill four birds with one coupon:
    1. Allow Valve to fully participate without having to worry about the foot (hard to modify a mosey).
    2. Allow YJ to participate a little more fully knowing we wouldn’t be doing any major leg stuff.
    3. Come through on my vow to bring more 90’s hits that those who were in their prime during that awful decade may have erased (or claim to have erased) from their memory.
    4. Still bring the kind of challenge that these PAX show up for.

    Warmup: started with arm circles, which bent a few brains, and focused heavily on upper body and lower back (not one, but TWO Lafayette exercises).

    Thang 1: “I bet you don’t remember this one…or wish you didn’t.”

    1. “Scat Man” by Scatman John: Flutters for duration, but LBC’s during any scatting (the musical variety).
    A few remembered this one, and YHC remembered in the moment that this one may have been used at a beatdown before. Lots more LBC’s than flutters, and we were all a little dumber afterward, but nowhere near the low point of dumbness that would be achieved.

    2. “Pop Goes the Weasel” by 3rd Bass: Plank for duration, Kneel Diamonds on every “pop goes the weasel”.
    It seemed only Popeye remembered this one, and that it was an entire rap song about (bashing) one individual, Vanilla Ice, and that it also sampled a song by none other than Peter Gabriel. And, Dox wasn’t there to guess it.

    3. “Ninja Rap” by (none other than) Vanilla Ice: Bird dogs for duration, kneeling curls on “ninja”.
    Vanilla’s only other (vaguely) known hit featured in the old Ninja Turtles movie sequal, wherein rubber suited turtle dancers lit up the club with a choreographed dance to this jam. The bird dogs were similar, but different.

    4. “Hell” by Squirrel Nut Zippers: Penguins for duration, heels to heaven for the refrain.
    These guys signaled the start of the ska movement in the 90’s, which was an important movement that had lasting cultural significance. And, that many penguins is rough.

    5. “Gypsy Woman” by Crystal Waters and The Basement Boys: alternating side planks for the duration, toe-tap merkins during the droning refrain.
    This one is a remarkable 7.5 minutes of brain-numbing repetitivity. Don’t pull it up–you’ll remember it and regret it. You did it, didn’t you.

    Thang 2: Flora 1, 2, 3

    100 WW3 situps, 10 at a time, while partner does 6-in hold
    200 skull crushers (modified to 100 for time) 20 at a time while partner does X-factors
    300 shoulder shrugs (mostly didn’t get to it) 30 at a time while partner holds Al Gore
    PAX requested more ska, so Reel Big Fish was called upon followed by the man of the hour, Vanilla Ice.

    YHC wishes he’d have made more time for this one–lots of variety, and a solid muscle burner. Gypsy Woman should have probably been skipped, and been lost to the ANNALS of time (I’m sure there’s some connection to the anals of time, but I’ll let Maneater work that out along with his comfy pillow and Fire Within jammies).

    COT and Smooth prayed us out.

    It was great to have Valve back in the mix, and it’s been inspiring to see YJ work through what’s clearly a lot of pain to stay in it. Much respect to you both! And, thanks to the rest of the PAX for muscling through the playlist.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • American History F – from America’s Best

    HC arrived this morning to find a Den with no way in, as our lot had been barricaded. What a way to start a manniversary.
    First they came for our lion, and we did not speak out. Then they came for our parking lot, and we did not speak out. Not sure what comes next, but I think the general idea is to just ignore it.

    Warmarama began one minute late, mainly due to the PAX needing to inspect buckets of concrete and to check if pull-ups could be done from tent poles.

    SSH
    Windmills
    Imperial Walkers
    Willie Mays Hayes
    Mountain Climbers
    Arm circles of varying speeds
    Cherry Pickers

    F3 changes a man, in big ways and in small ways. But also in medium ways. For example, I will give you an example, through this illustration, vis-à-vis, case-in-point: I don’t listen to music in the same way anymore— now every time I hear a song, it’s immediately “could this be used in a beatdown?” So while the skeleton of today’s beatdown would be trivia, it’s disgusting sinew and adipose and entrails would be the best found songs of the year. And I guess the skin would be, like, the locations represented by our stops. Or something. Let’s just get on with it, ok?

    Moseying to the Aldi parking lot, we were met again with the barricades. While most of the PAX went around, Paradox apparently sensed the beatdown was heading to Germany, and leapt the wall like an East German gazelle in a terrible metaphor.

    The First Question was read, and the PAX contemplated the answer while squatting and Bobby Hurley-ing to An Arrow in the Wall by Death Cab For Cutie. The song was quickly and relentlessly abused as an obscure, ancient dirge from YHC’s past. (In reality, it was actually released less than a year ago, and while it was never “nominated for an Emmy” it has been met with critical success. But I’ll leave that alone; whatever is the opposite of “preaching to the choir” seems to be what I am doing here…)

    The correct answer to Q1 was (a very controversial) “omelette.” Nobody guessed correctly (likely another alternate-reality-induced schism), so we did (8×5) 40 Carolina Dry Docks (a hint to the next location)

    Next stop, next question. Maneater identified the place as NC. Then the PAX held 6” and Wheezied with every “gonna.” While the song began as a DMB classic, we were quickly Rick-Rolled for 4 minutes.
    The answer to question #2 was “cropdust” and Popeye and Paradox easily sniffed this one out. Yankee Jeaux was very proud of his guess, and legend has it he is still insisting that YHC also coined the term “douchebag.”
    The PAX was penalized with only (6×5) 30 gas pumpers.

    3rd stop around the world was Hawaii. The PAX nailed the location, then did an exercise known (by YHC at least) as the Makhtar N’J-Rod while Eric Clapton narrated.
    YHC’s favorite 90s band (who is still making music Today) was correctly answered only by Yankee Jeaux. Popeye’s guess of “Puddle of Mudd” may be the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me.
    (7×5) 35 BBS was the penalty

    Location #4 was Ohio. And in spite of the smell from the dumpsters, it was not identified— our penalty would be doubled.
    We monkey-humped to “Let me be your Hog.” Burpees on some trigger words, but none of them occurred during the full 17 seconds of this song.
    The urinal of choice is “lowest/shortest” which 5 PAX answered correctly.
    Popeye’s guess of “fullest” wins Very Best Wrong Answer.
    (3x5x2(penalty)) = 30 BBS

    Next stop was VA- again an easy one. And it was time to listen to that other favorite band, whilst pondering the next question and doing a burpee for each “ever” or “never.” Here’s some trivia for you: “ever” and “never” are heard only 13 times in Oasis’ “Live Forever.” However, we were again quickly rolled into Rick. And that dude says “never” like 40 times.
    The F-4, the greatest fighter-bomber ever built, was correctly identified only by Maneater.
    35 Burpees were the penalty.

    The final song was played, and the PAX were instructed to right-foot lunge on each “pizza” and left-foot lunge on each “taco.” And what to do in-between? Turns out, it doesn’t matter. “It’s the Combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.”

    A weary (from all the “Sweatin’ to the Weirdies”) and downtrodden (from all the not-knowing) PAX assembled back at the flag, still pondering the answer to question #6.
    Several horrible guesses were defended. The answer?
    Will be revealed in a future beatdown.

    Until then, look for Death Cab for Cuties’ upcoming single “A Very Controversial Omelette”

    COT and Maneater prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    AB

  • Gambling with Minors – from Goose

    YHC showed up at the Peltch fully expecting it to be just Maneater and Jacknife joining the truckful of Dawsons on this Independence Day weekend, but what to my wandering eyes should appear, but Cuz, Honeysuckle, and Smooth, each with a 2.0. I think this is actually the first time I’ve ever attended a beatdown with more 2.0’s than 1.0’s. Even if we counted Pope as a full-grown PAX, the little ‘uns still outnumbered us 7 to 6. And, when we finally got them to put the sticks down, it was time to warmup.

    Did the usuals, but introduced the Lafayette grass-grabbers, increasing the Lafayette warmup exercises to 30% of the total this morning. You see that math? That kind of quick figuring is what almost got YHC first place in the poker tournament. But, almost means I didn’t. An unlikely victor ran away with the prize, but we had some work to do first.

    After the warmup, we moseyed to the farther end of the lower field, and YHC set up Bose with what was assumed to be a blast from the past, a reminder of years we might not want to be reminded of. (…right around the time we learned not to end a sentence in a preposition.) YHC set up Bose, gave instructions, and let fly with “Lucas with the Lid Off”, a top 25 track from 1994 with a Grammy nominated music video. We planked for the duration, toe tapped (reached under and touched opposite foot) for every “catch the vibe” and merkins for every “bubbles”. YHC expected maybe Maneater or at least Honeysuckle had heard it on the radio in middle school, but it was as if I had pulled a deep track from an unpopular album from an obscure Scandinavian country. YHC was like, “But it played on the radio all the time,” and they and every single person on GroupMe were like, “You sure that was a radio?” Whatever–music videos from other dimensions don’t get nominated for Grammys. At least I don’t think they do. But, it did motivate me to see how many other songs seemed to vanish into thin air somehow in future Q’s. More to come on this…

    On to the main event, the F3 2024 Poker Tournament. The PVC cards from the Deck of Death were still wet from last time, so shuffling was difficult, but YHC managed, and each man was given 5 cards while each boy was given 3. The men paired up for one on one 5-card draw poker while the boys paired up for battle/war. The loser of each pair had to do the exercises on the cards of the hand with the harder exercises, and the winner did the exercises on the easier hand. If you did your math, like YHC, you’d see that pretty much every card was used (we included the jokers and the instructions cards–they were wild), whihc meant that there was no avoiding the really tough ones. Someone was going to be doing the 25 burpess or the 400m sprint. The jokers were frog hops between trees, which brought back bad memories from not too long ago.

    After all 5 exercises (or 3 for the wee ones) were completed, the winners went to the winners’ bracket, and the losers to the losers’ and we did it again. After that round, we had a winning winner’s bracket, a losing losers’ bracket, and a bracket that combined the winning losers and the losing winners from the previous round. YHC and Bam Bam were the final pair to face off for the title of King Poker Face, and he won with a pair of 4s. After getting an actual flush the round before (no wilds), YHC could only muster a king-high, so Bam Bam emerged as the champion, and YHC had to do some sprinting.

    With about 10 minutes on the clock, we went all against all, 5-card stud, and somehow Cuz ended up with three kings and a Joker, so the whole PAX did the exercises on the cards in his hand. (Shared suffering is so much better than doing your own sets of different excercises, even if you’re right next to someone else.)

    After this, we hustled back to the flag for about 6 minutes of Mary: WWI situps, crunchy frogs, heels to heaven, wife pleasers, Afflecks, and side planks. COT, intentions offered, especially for the PAX on family retreat, and Coyote prayed us out.

    Awesome work, fellas! It’s always such a gift to start the weekend with such quality men.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Homer and the Odyssey – from Honeysuckle

    Five PAX plus YHC descended onto the Den Formerly Known As the Lion’s for a July Fourth beatdown. As it was also YHC’s 1-year manniversary, the PAX surely wondered what was in store. Since not all trucks are created equal, it was self-evident that AB was the one backing into the parking spot. And when the tailgate lowered, the PAX knew that at some point we were to hold these coupons.

    Warmarama

    First stop in the course of today’s human events was a warmarama (SSH, windmills, willie mays, arm circles f/r, cherry pickers, Lafayette night clubs, mountain climbers).

    Thang 1

    Then it became necessary to traverse to the four separate and equal corners of the civic center. In honor of the seventh month (and Cardinal), the first straightaway transport was seven crab crawl steps (2:1) then a run to the next corner. Second was four (the day) burpee broad jumps. Third was 17 (hundred years) bear crawls (2:1), and fourth was 76 lunge steps (1:1). The lunge steps did not in fact get us to Chick Fila but ended close enough to the concrete square for YHC.

    Thang 2

    YHC spoke a few words about the positive impact F3 and the PAX have had over the past year. Smooth was clearly becoming uncomfortable, so the subject was changed to the exercise. Part of the first F3 experience is getting named, and while Buzz Lightyear was a contender during YHC’s namearama, ultimately Econoline mentioned Honeysuckle and it stuck (no pun intended).

    Upon a year of reflection on the name, YHC realized that Honeysuckle is a meaningful concept that is part of American literature and songs – of course not to the extent that the fourth of July is.

    So, for the next thang, the PAX were to listen to the beginning of a song and determine whether the lyrics include (a) Fourth of July, (b) Honeysuckle, (c) both, (d) neither. During the song, a set of exercises were to be done, and after the song, we’d take a run to Aldi. If the PAX were incorrect in their guess, we’d have 5 Aldi burpees. Otherwise 0 burpees. Lil cuz was the official PAX spokesperson.

    –Song 1: Born on the Bayou, CCR. Hold plank, Merkin on Bayou. PAX were correct that only the 4th of July is mentioned. Lots of guitar soloing in this song. Run to Aldi and Back.

    –Song 2: Church on Cumberland Road, Shenandoah. Side straddle hop, Squat jump on refrain. PAX correctly guessed that both honeysuckle and 4th of July are mentioned. Run to Aldi and Back.

    –Song 3: Tin Cup Chalice, Jimmy Buffet. Big boy situp, OHP on refrain. PAX were once again correct that only Honeysuckle was mentioned. Run to Aldi and Back.

    –Song 4: America the Beautiful, Ray Charles. 6” hold, leg raises on refrain. Lots of discord in the PAX over this one. Lil cuz ended up saying the 4th of July, but in reality neither was mentioned. AB plans to listen to this one a few more times, because maybe Ray did in fact say Honeysuckle somewhere while he’s riffing. Run to Aldi, 5 burpees for our Thibodaux PAX everywhere, and run back.

    Thang 3

    We had a few minutes left so there was time for a little Dora – another 7/4/1776 theme. The transport would start with bear crawl to the sidewalk and run back. Then run for the remainder. The exercises were 7+4=11 manmakers, 17 thrusters, 76 curls. All individual counts. We were close to finishing, and maybe a few PAX were successful in the pursuit of a good bicep pump.

    COT
    Announcements, including AB’s manniversary next Thursday. No articles of clothing to exchange today. Prayer intentions. AB prayed us out.

    I heard it on the honeysuckle vine:

    YHC was EH’d by a Yankee Joe / Paradox duo on 7/3/23. YJ must have just gotten out of an EH course, with the lead, “So, uh, what do you do for exercise?” Paradox gave off more the vibe of “I mean, I don’t care if you come or not. The more I think about it, maybe you probably can’t handle it anyway, so it might be better if you don’t.” YJ agreed to drive YHC to the beatdown the next morning (in the Odyssey, not the Prius), to a Goose Q, and the rest is history.

    To all the PAX: OG, new, past, present, regular, one-timers, haven’t been in a while, come every now and again. You all are meaningful parts of this community and I feel fortunate to have spent the past year as a part of it. My life has been enriched and strengthened in all three F’s over the past year, so thank you.

  • Another Game of Chance – from Enron

    The night prior to this morning’s beatdown, the power went out in YHCs neighborhood (along with many others) making the morning more difficult than normal. With the power still out at 11:15 PM and the temperature in the house rising to 81 degrees, there was a major question mark on if the scheduled Q was even going to be in attendance. Fortunately (possibly unfortunately for the PAX that was to show) the power soon returned, and the temperatures slowly started to drop.

    3 Brave PAX arrived in the gloom this morning ready for what was to come. As AB arrived, there was a deposition (see Paradox, this doesn’t sound right) of coupons at the stage as chatter began about the holiday week dropping attendance some.

    Warmarama:
    SSH, WM, Willie Mays Hayes, AC, Cherry Pickers, IW, Mountain climbers

    Thang 1: The Core Mile
    YHC led the group through rich man’s loop and the new section of neighborhood at the stage, stopping every quarter mile(ish) for the following:
    Mile 0.25 – 25 Merkins
    Mile 0.5 – 25 LBCs
    Mile 0.75 – 25 Squats
    We then returned to the stage for the main event of the morning.

    Thang 2: A game of chance

    YHC explained his love for games of chance, and the decision to let fate play a roll in what would be completed in this morning’s beatdown. This involved the following:

    We would begin at 15 reps a randomly drawn exercise out of a “bucket” of potential exercises. Next that exercise would be performed before running a lap around the stage. Upon return to the stage, one PAX (rotating each round) would flip a coin. If the coin was heads, we would add 5 reps for the next exercise. If the coin was tails, we would subtract 5 reps. This allowed for things to potentially get much more difficult, or easier, depending on the flip of the coin as we progressed. Additionally, it was explained that if, by chance, we worked our way down to zero, there would be a “prize”. AB, immediately, and correctly, second guessed if this would be a true prize.

    Results:
    Round 1: 15 Bonnie Blairs 1=1
    Round 2: (Heads) 20 American Hammers 2=1
    Round 3: (Tails) 15 Skull Crushers
    Round 4: (Tails) 10 Over Head Presses
    Round 5: (Heads) 15 8-Count Body Builders
    Round 6: (Tails) 10 LBCs
    Round 7: (Tails) 5 Curls
    Round 8: (Tails) 0 – And here was the prize… A 30 second 6-inch hold – only to also move the starting number up to 20 from 15. YHC also explained if we were to get to 0 again, this number would move up another 5 and so on.
    Round 9: (Heads) 25 – This card said “___x2 second plank” resulting in a 50 second plank
    Round 10: (Tails) 20 SSH
    Round 11: (Heads) 25 Coupon Presses
    Round 12: (Heads) 30 Wide Merkins
    Round 13: (Heads) 35 Burpees – Fortunately as this dreaded card was turned it was 5:57 am and the PAX was saved by the bell after about 15 burpees.

    Stats:
    Roughly 2.2 miles run.
    Average number of reps: 17.31
    Standard Deviation: 9.91
    Median: 15 reps
    Mode:15 reps

    COT and Popeye prayed us out with special emphasis on safe travels for all and safety for the July 4th holiday.
    SYITG,

    Enron

  • Nostalgia, Patriotism, and I’m out of Adderall – from Maneater

    Five PAX assembled on another muggy Monday at The Stage for a sweaty saunter down….. oh look a squirrel. What was YHC saying? Oh yeah, A sweaty saunter down ADHD lane.

    Did you know that in some circles untreated ADHD is considered a super power? It’s tru (ish). If one can see past the wild impulsivity and general lack of self-awareness, it becomes apparent that ADHD has a few benefits. I’ll give you a personal example:
    A week and a half ago M was telling YHC about a presumably interesting conversation that she had while working at a local church parish. Unfortunately, YHC was only able to catch about one quarter of the story M was saying, as the theme song for the 90’s classic cartoon Darkwing Duck was stuck on repeat in YHC’s mind. Fortunately, that Fowl diddy inspired an idea for a beatdown. So as soon as M finished YHC took out the phone and searched a few 90’s cartoon theme songs, and in true ADHD fashion, stopped there. Not finishing the beatdown plan. See, superpower.

    Low Super-power standards aside, after volunteering to cover this beatdown on short notice YHC decided to combine a few of the gooey centered ideas into larger half baked beatdown. So without further ado, Let’s get Dangerous

    The Thang:
    90’s Kid Beatdown:

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme
    -Butt Kickers for duration
    -Squat Jumps on ” TMNT”

    Darkwing Duck Theme:
    -BBS for Duration
    -Gas Pumpers on “DarkWing”

    Chip and Dale’s Rescue Ranger Theme
    -Run in Place for Duration
    -Squat Jumps for Chorus

    Thunder Cats Theme
    -Plank for duration
    -Merkin on “Thunder Cats”
    -Peter Parkers on Guitar Solo

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme again:
    -See above

    ‘Merica! That’s Why

    Five Station Circuit- Toss, Sprint, Drag, Carry, Mosey- inspired by the US Army’s Army Combat Fitness Test
    1. 40 meters each way over the shoulder medicine ball toss there and back
    2. 40 meter Sprint there and back
    3. Cinder Sled- two coupons on a folded Tarp- drag backwards 40 meters and back
    4. Carry a coupon in each hand 40 meters and back
    5. Mosey around the Stage track
    Then do It again and again and again and again.

    After performing a number of circuits, PAX moved on to MARY. PAX went around the horn with each PAX leading a burndown.
    After Mary; prayer intentions and announcements included our F3 brothers, Holy souls in Purgatory, those families on the DC retreat, that God reveal Himself through the Holy Spirit to all of those seeking Him.
    Hey, have you seen that show on FX “The Bear”? It’s really good. The language is pretty rough, but it’s gritty, emotional, and the actors do a great job.
    Anyway……. Pope prayed us out.

    SYITG,
    Maneater

  • From the Bayou to Bosnia – from Maneater

    On a humid June morning at the Coliseum five PAX assembled to set off on a journey across the world. While the environment may have seemed like Thibodaux, the PAX were actually transported to a small village between two craggy mountains in the eastern European country of Bosnia-Herzegovina. The town, Medjugorje, has been host to Catholic Pilgrims from around the world for since June 25th 1981. And on this day after the 43rd anniversary of the first visitation on Podbro (Apparition Hill), the PAX set out on our own spiritual journey.
    The Thang:
    1. Pray the Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary as PAX rucked towards St. Joseph cemetery. PAX provided their own rosaries, YHC added a 4 ft long stone Rosary which weighed around 7 lbs, this one would be held by whomever lead each decade.
    For 20 minutes and about 1 ¼ mile PAX prayed all 5 decades. Making it through the “Hail, Holy Queen” before all of the PAX including YHC had a complete brain fart and forgot the first line of the Final prayer……I blame it on the humidity.
    2. After arriving at St. Joseph PAX took a moment to pray for the Holy Souls in Purgatory with an Our Father, Hail Mary, and a Glory Be.
    3. Ruck to Stock Rock to climb “cross mountain”.
    On our ruck back from St. Joseph Cemetery many conversations ensued including camping trips, and bachelor parties gone wrong. Then in the shadow of the Colosseum a silhouette emerged. The majestic gait, as If floating on a cloud, and smirk of a man who has seen some things, made it abundantly clear who this towering figure, fast approaching, was. None other than Popeye. After explaining to Popeye we still had a mile to go and a mountain to climb, he eagerly joined. In an instant our platoon of pilgrims had grown by one. More conversations about bridge runs (obviously that was a Popeye and Honeysuckle lead convo) and other topics happened. As we summited the Himalaya of Healthcare, that is Stock Rock, a cross came into view. Granted, It wasn’t the 30 ft concrete cross of Medjugorje’s Cross Mountain, but it was good enough. No, this cross was green…..and on the back of an adjacent medical building…..and had the words cancer center written under it. But it was a cross, and it was visible. Beggars can’t be choosers. So YHC made do. YHC then orated a little (big surprise there, I’m sure) about some of the cool things about Medjugorje like cross mountain’s construction, faith in the face of communism, and St. James church.
    PAX had made it to the top of the mountain, and to the foot of the (kind of) cross. Our pilgrimage was coming to an end. At the end of our ruck Pax completed roughly 3.5 miles, and a Rosary. That’s a great way to start a Wednesday if you ask me.

    SYITG,
    Maneater