F3 New Orleans

Tag: Popeyes

  • Cohn-lumbus Day Crew – from Goose

    Four dedicated souls braved the stench of the sugar cane plant and the lure of the warm fartsack on what for many is a day off of work. White Meat in particular shared his inner battle with himself to get out of bed and into his fly ride to make the jump across the bayou. And, Dox braved the cryptic hype Goose Q even though he has to post tomorrow for his own Q. Pope didn’t have a choice–he’s not allowed to sleep in until he can show zero sign of fatigue at the end of a beatdown that his father deems “challenging”.

    The hype had no real connection to the workout; YHC just needed a place holder to let the PAX know the world wasn’t coming to an end. After warmups, which included both versions of Nightclubs for White Meat’s continuing education, we completed a short mosey to the grass over by the stop sign at the beginning of The Stretch. YHC revealed that we’d be doing some long 11’s in the fashion experienced only by Enron, YJ, and maybe Smooth about a year ago. Knowing that those fellas were unlikely to show, YHC took advantage of the ignorance of today’s PAX and explained what sounded like a relatively moderate routine: Afflecks on the near side, gas pumpers on the far side, carioca there nur back. The far side was basically the end of the grass, across from the other Stop sign (the distance of the parking lot/drive). (Afflecks are J-Lo’s with a pickle-pounder when you cross the middle–4-count this time.)

    We started off being able to converse, but that didn’t last long. Dox showed some grit in staying even with YHC the whole time (Go Team Long-Tibia), and White Meat stayed right behind Pope in a show of his own mettle. It was a long grinder with the cariocas being the crux (the nurs in close second) ensuring some unique soreness tomorrow, but we finished in good time, so it was on to the cultural education portion of the beatdown.

    YHC was recently reminded of an musician who captured him as a middle schooler in the early 90’s, and, though not as popular as Phil Collins, Peter Gabriel, or Talk Talk, his one hit, “Walking in Memphis” opened the door to an album that’s pure enjoyment from open to close. Marc Cohn would lead us through the final 10 minutes of the beatdown with some coupon work.

    The first song was the aforementioned “Walking in Memphis”, still capturing random hearts to this day–we held coupons overhead in rifle carry position and did a thruster for every “Walking”. Pope decided to modify about halfway through by dropping to his six and holding bench press position instead and doing coupon situps on the triggers. He chose poorly.

    Song #2 was “29 Ways”, the upbeat, bluesy song on the album, and we got on our sixes and held our coupons in bench press position for the duration, doing coupon situps on every “door”. Sorry, Pope. Still no sleeping in.

    About 6 minutes of Mary included the likes of crunchy frogs, wife pleasers, static wife pleasers, Freddy Mercs, Li’ Manny Crunches (static LBC’s), slow penguins, and Nolan Ryans (with the drawl).

    COT and Dox prayed us out. Prepping for the Coyote b-day Q this Saturday, the 10-Year NOLA Convergence next Saturday, and the 4-year F3 Thib/5-year Goose Manniversary the next Saturday. So much awesomeness to look forward to!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • “It was a Concept Beatdown” – The AB 20th Anniversary Rolling Stone Interview – from America’s Best

    Rolling Stone: So, AB, tell us about this beatdown you just wrapped up. What was the vibe at the AO?

    America’s Best: I was equally surprised by the wealth of knowledge out there and the lack of flatulence. . . Some mornings are just magical, I guess. We started with a warmarama that felt like an opening act—like you know when you’re going to see STP but The Offspring is there first? Just trying to get through it. Safely Valve tried to be the guy who knew better but we waited for him. Some were feeding off the energy of the hype, you know? After seeing the hype, Enron knew immediately that Arcade Fire was involved, but it was unclear if he was excited, concerned, or indifferent about it. The man is a riddle in a mystery inside an enigma wrapped in a cotton Phil Collins tank-ini.

    RS: So there was at least some anticipation of what was in store for the PAX?

    AB: At least some preparation. I think Paradox was running on pure adrenaline following his all-nighter of searching the Japanese internet.

    RS : For what was he searching?

    AB: I dunno. . . Answers? All I know is by morning he had figured out the album artwork for The Funeral. And he spoke fluent Japanese. Oh, sorry, Dox: “Nihongo.”

    RS: So do you enjoy the Q spotlight?

    AB: No. It’s too much for my ADHD brain. I do enjoy the creativity– trying to make something engaging and hopefully exciting. But most times it’s more fun to be in the trenches hammering away at something ridiculous and mumblechattering about someone else’s horrific music choices.

    RS: So do you ever think about stepping away and just producing?

    AB: I feel like I have more to give. I still feel young, you know? I mean, I’ve seen some greats like Yankee Jeaux step away for awhile and come back stronger than ever. Have you ever completed a Danny Go beatdown?

    RS: No I can’t say that I have. In fact, I can’t even remotely comprehend what you’re talking about.

    AB: It makes jurpin’ to “Give It Up” feel like crab-walking to the Halo theme.

    RS: That is zero percent helpful.

    AB: I feel like you’re getting a little disrespectful. Don’t be surprised if this interview goes sideways later.

    RS: Oooookay….noted. Anyway, what was your plan for this beatdown?

    AB: It was a concept beatdown. I wanted to capture the feeling of 2004. You know, I’d just graduated, gotten married, bought a house, begun a real job. I was getting realllllly boring. I mean, we were The Incredibles for Halloween that year.

    RS: You make is sound like 2004 was the beginning of the end.

    AB: It’s the year Facebook started.

    RS: Touche.

    AB: But getting back to the concept: It was simple. Put together a playlist of hits (Yes, they were hits, Lil Cuz) from 2004 that would be our soundtrack for a two mile run. At designated times, we would stop for an exercise. 20 reps would be the starting number, and we could deduct 5 reps each for the artist, title, and album identification.

    RS: And how did that go?

    AB: Let’s just say these guys were lucky Popeye was there.

    RS: So did he carry the PAX on music knowledge?

    AB: Oh there were definitely strong contributions by Honeysuckle and Goose too. But here’s the thing about Popeye: He has never forgotten. Anything.

    RS: Anything else of note during the run?

    AB: I’m glad you asked, Chumley. Is it ok if I call you Chumley? The thing is, I thought I threw a softball out there for our manmaker station. I figured half of theses guys at least knew Eminem’s “Just Lose It.” They knew it was him, but that was it. While I did hear a few of the PAX mumbling random facts about him, nobody could identify the album or title.

    RS: After all that intensity, how did you wrap it up? And no, please don’t call me that. That’s not my name or anything. Does that mean something?

    AB: No. Anyway, we moseyed back to the flag to finish up the last of the songs lighting-round style.

    RS: And how did that go?

    AB: No idea, Chumley. At that point I was running on fumes. But I assume it was pure magic.

    RS: Ok, why did you even ask permission if you are going to keep calling me that anyway? What does it even mean? Is it like “champ” or “boss” or something? Is that from something?

    AB: Don’t worry about it.

    RS: Ok, after all that intensity, how did you wrap it up?

    AB: COT. Phil the Pain (aka Face Value) went to Popeye. Blue Tube went to Enron. Lil Cuz prayed us out.

  • Belch at the Peltch – from Goose

    12 men (big and little) gathered courageously at The Peltch for the final, brutal IPC of 2024. For one in particular, it took a lot of courage: the soon-to-be-named L-loyd, Safety Valve’s FNG 2.0, Peyton saw a circle of large, surly men grunting through the dark morning’s tightness, one of whom was wearing what looked to be a woman’s tank top, and he was reluctant to jump in. So was YHC, but not Duke–he was the opposite of reluctant this morning, and he ran to make friends with the other similar sized human form in the gloom, and they warmed up in mini 2.0 fashion about 20 yards away.

    Eventually, unable to push off the inevitable any longer, we gathered the gear and headed to the track. The IPC went like this:
    8 rounds, 5 minutes apiece: 200 m run, 30 reps of a given exercise, 200m run, and then burpees till the end of the 5 minutes. Count your total burpee reps over the 8 rounds for your “score”. The exercises were as follows:

    Round 1: Freddy Mercurys
    2: Pickle Pounders
    3: Flutter Kicks
    4. Plank Jacks
    5. Monkey Humpers
    6. Squats
    7. LBC’s
    8. SSH

    Spirits were still high for Round 1 as the PAX mumblechattered their way around the track, the mini 2.0’s sprinted ahead, and all completed more burpees in 2.5 minutes than they expected to. Round 2 on went about as expected: mumblechatter was greatly reduced, the carefully curated playlist became just background noise, Honeysuckle stayed about 40-50 yards ahead of the pack, the mini 2.0’s played imaginary football (or something) on the field, and everything but counts sank into the brain fog.

    Despite the threat of takeover from the survival instinct, YHC still had the wherewithal to notice the awesome effort of every man out there, including the medium 2.0s. Nobody walked, and the majority stayed ahead of YHC on the track pushing hard the entire time, keeping the bar high, and not saving anything for the ride home.

    Admittedly, YHC was having a hard time performing at any kind of heroic level. The runs were the much needed breaks, and catching up to the front runners felt impossible. And, with only one glove, YHC quickly followed Valve’s lead in taking advantage of the (little bit) softer turf to avoid the cheese grater that the track was on the hands during burpees. His performance (and later Dox’s) right next to me was impressive, as was Honeysuckle’s and everyone who started doing burpees ahead of YHC (which was everyone but Smooth, who remains impressive in his ability to joyfully accept and own the things that are killing him, which usually include lots of running and burpees. Here’s to the clydesdales.).

    After round 8, YHC flopped to the ground drinking in the free oxygen before Dox hauled me back to vertical position from which I could see a yard sale of heaving bodies splayed on the track. But, we still had 7 minutes left, so after a 10-count, YHC turned off the Amy Grant, and we headed back to the flag for some Mary. More exercise certainly wasn’t easy, but anything was better than burpees.

    At 7:30, we counted off, and during name off shared the number of burpees achieved. YHC though it would be good to allow the monumental feat each man had accomplished to be known and appreciated by others. Each man had something to be proud of, especially Honeysuckle who cranked out 208, earning him the coveted Blue Tube.

    In an interesting, cosmic amalgamation of many small circumstances and decisions, Valve and YHC somehow finished at the exact same number. And we didn’t start or stop or take breaks at the same time or anything. What does it mean? What implications does it have? What does it reveal about the space-time fabric of the F3 Universe?

    These questions would have to wait as we had an FNG to name. Peyton is into Legos, particularly Ninjago, so it was an easy decision. L-loyd (pronounced “luh-loyd”) was quickly christened, and we’re sure to see his small, fast form sprinting ahead of many a Peltch Indian Run line.

    There’s nothing quite like suffering through really tough stuff together with a group of good men, which is why YHC looks forward to September every year. But, thank God it’s over. We did it, and now we can rest on our laurels. Until Monday.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The one that got away – from Smooth Operator

    This morning YHC got to the Den early to try and troubleshoot the basketball court lights but ended up successfully turning off the lights for the pickle ball court. Unfortunately Tana and Dilly were not there and could not be persuaded to put the paddle down and pick up a slightly larger ball and join us.

    Warmarama
    SSH
    Windmills
    Arm Circles
    Cherry pickers
    High knees
    Bit kicks

    Mosey behind Aldi through the Garden to the basketball court

    Thang 1
    We balled
    After our mosey, teams were picked and we started playing a little full court basketball with a couple catches. When one team scores the other runs a suicide and the scoring team does SSH for the duration of suicide. If someone turned the ball over they are to get to the side lines and start doing burpees until someone scores. The game continues a man short until a basket is scored. YHC set a 15 minute timer and the Smooth Pope Enrons got off to a good start scoring the first goal. Then the AB Goose Valves opened up a can of what the kids call “the whoopass” and skunked YHCs team 12 to 2. after that we ran suicides, 14 points were scored therefore we started with 7 suicides. After 3 suicides YHC called a stoppage and had Pope shoot a free throw for the opportunity to exonerate the PAX from suicides. Unfortunately he missed causing us to run another one. AB was up next and with ice running through his veins he made his free throw like he had night vision.

    Thang 2
    After moseying back to the flag, The PAX entered the burpee box near the side walk running adjacent to Canal St. Once the Pax entered the metaphorical box, we performed a burpee per each car that passed. I believe we were close to 40 within 4 or 5 minutes. Somewhere around this time it was brought to YHC’s attention that Yankee Jeaux was reading the newspaper and consulting AB on the matters. Come Home YJ.

    We hustled back to flag for a couple minutes of Mary. Pope called for crunchy frogs, Enron for LBC, Goose for wife pleasers. After this the clock decided to strike 6 and we counted off, announcements, prayed for our intentions with Safety Valve leading. Thanks Pax for showing up and letting YHC the beatdown he never got to be apart of last year.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator

  • An Anniversary of Something – from Honeysuckle

    Nine men Came Together at the Lion’s savannah for the 55th anniversary of Something. What exactly that was, we’d have to find out later. First a good warmarama, and thorough, was needed, with the usuals.

    Then a mosey through Aldi’s parking lot to Rienzi drive, through the St Francis vegetable and Octopus Garden. Despite some fears that the garden shed was going to be involved, we moseyed right past to the basketball court. The door was locked, so we’d have to come in through the back room window anyway.

    Thang 1 was to be a Dora consisting of 155 Merkins, 155 Squats, and 155 Hillbilly Walkers (2:1). Full time transport was Carioca. This was chosen as we were right in the middle of a Tuesday IPC and a Saturday BK 500. No coupons, so no carrying that weight. And no Paradox today, so no one to call YHC “Honey” or even Oh Darling. All this was written on YHC’s Polythene-covered paper. Smooth and YHC were lagging behind, in no small part due to bad math. But Because of that, the Majesty of the PAX to pick us up at The End was on full display.

    During the Dora, YHC dropped several clues about the magical mystery anniversary and greatly enjoyed the back and forth among Yankee Joe, Goose, AB, and Popeye about what it might be, and eventually the order of release of Beatles albums. Still, the PAX didn’t take long to deduce that today was the 55th anniversary of the release of Abbey Road by the Beatles. This would lead to Thang 2.

    Thang 2 was to be “AB”-bey Road. Following three medleys in the album, YHC had prepared a medley of Mary exercises. The first medley was a single track, You Never Give Me Your Money (as in the case of F3). America’s Best, having smelled that trivia was occurring, began his usual tact of messing up YHC’s questions by stating all (well, at least some of) the trivia he knew about the topic at once. Surprisingly, when Pope began doing the same, all I could think is Here Comes the (goose’s) Son also.

    The second medley was Mean Mr Mustard, Polythene Pam, and She Came in Through the Bathroom Window. We then discussed the intracies of the album cover and how people used it to perpetuate the “Paul is Dead” conspiracy.

    Finally, to AB’s chagrin we skipped Golden Slumbers to jump right in to Carry that Weight, The End, and Her Majesty.

    Mosey back to the savannah. We then did a mini-equalizer to grab another minute of work. The Fire Within went from White Meat to Pope. Announcements included YHC’s poor Paradox impression to hype up the BK 500. Popeye prayed us out.

    Thanks PAX for knowing that one day you’d have to listen to the Beatles and showing up day in and day out anyway.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • The Padre Pio Shuffle – from Smooth Operator

    9/23/24
    The Padre Pio shuffle

    This morning I showed up early eager to see the usual Monday crew. As I sat in the truck listening to a rosary meditation about Padre Pio. I started to get nervous as to whether any one was going to show up. At 5:10 I checked the Q sheet to find no one had chosen to pick up the Q. YHC put my name down and let my imagination run for a minute before Popeye pulled up followed by White meat wearing one of the tank tops that had become popular in this circle.

    Warmarama
    SSH
    Windmills
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    High knees
    Butt kicks

    Thang 1 The Padre Pio shuffle

    On the way to the road closed sign Popeye pointed out a piece of 4 by 12 roughly 4 ft long. YHC picked it up and decided to make it part of the beatdown.

    Round 1
    1st person ran from Road closed sign down street to road closed sign and back
    2nd person performed burpees until he made it back
    3rd person performed SSH until 1st person made it back
    The PAX all rotated through station to complete the circuit.
    Notes YHC quickly realized his imagination thought he was way more athletic than he actually was.
    Round 2
    1st person ran to the road closed sign located on first side street of new street and back
    2nd person performed alternate shoulder weighted squats with 4 by 12.
    3rd person performed Willie Mayes Hayes until runner got back.
    3rd round
    1st person went to first side street road closed sign again
    2nd person did WW1 sit ups
    3rd personal did slow mountain climbers
    4th round
    1st person ran to 2nd green sewer poles and back
    2nd person did sand bag curls with sand bag that was holding road closed sign in place
    3rd person did players choice stretch

    This took the PAX till 0555 and a group mosey around the first block took us back to the flag at 5:57. There we completed a round of pickle pounders and penguins to get us to 0600.

    Reminders of IPC tomorrow and The BK500 came up in announcements and Prayers were petitioned for White Meat and his family. Popeye prayed us out. After this we moved one of the metal poles that were run across the concrete to prevent further light bulbs from getting broken. A broom and dust pan would help with picking up the damage done to the stage.
    Thanks to those who came out.
    Padre Pio pray for us.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator

  • The Padre Pio shuffle – from Smooth Operator

    9/23/24
    The Padre Pio shuffle

    This morning I showed up early eager to see the usual Monday crew. As I sat in the truck listening to a rosary meditation about Padre Pio. I started to get nervous as to whether any one was going to show up. At 5:10 I checked the Q sheet to find no one had chosen to pick up the Q. YHC put my name down and let my imagination run for a minute before Popeye pulled up followed by White meat wearing one of the tank tops that had become popular in this circle.

    Warmarama
    SSH
    Windmills
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    High knees
    Butt kicks

    Thang 1 The Padre Pio shuffle

    On the way to the road closed sign Popeye pointed out a piece of 4 by 12 roughly 4 ft long. YHC picked it up and decided to make it part of the beatdown.

    Round 1
    1st person ran from Road closed sign down street to road closed sign and back
    2nd person performed burpees until he made it back
    3rd person performed SSH until 1st person made it back
    The PAX all rotated through station to complete the circuit.
    Notes YHC quickly realized his imagination thought he was way more athletic than he actually was.
    Round 2
    1st person ran to the road closed sign located on first side street of new street and back
    2nd person performed alternate shoulder weighted squats with 4 by 12.
    3rd person performed Willie Mayes Hayes until runner got back.
    3rd round
    1st person went to first side street road closed sign again
    2nd person did WW1 sit ups
    3rd personal did slow mountain climbers
    4th round
    1st person ran to 2nd green sewer poles and back
    2nd person did sand bag curls with sand bag that was holding road closed sign in place
    3rd person did players choice stretch

    This took the PAX till 0555 and a group mosey around the first block took us back to the flag at 5:57. There we completed a round of pickle pounders and penguins to get us to 0600.

    Reminders of IPC tomorrow and The BK500 came up in announcements and Prayers were petitioned for White Meat and his family. Popeye prayed us out. After this we moved one of the metal poles that were run across the concrete to prevent further light bulbs from getting broken. A broom and dust pan would help with picking up the damage done to the stage.
    Thanks to those who came out.
    Padre Pio pray for us.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator

  • Burpee, a History Volume 2: To Burpfinity and Beyond – from Paradox

    YHC has always loved a good origin story.
    Forged in radioactive slime or some gamma rays gone wrong? Sign me up. But there’s also a lot of really interesting beauty to be discovered in the story behind the routine and mundane we take for granted. Microwaves , penicillin, Velcro, HoneySuckles 2003 Garmin watch.
    All have unique backgrounds and lessons to learn. So YHC wanted to reach back into the F3 history lessons and attempt to give the pax some appreciation for our old friend …the burpee.

    3 objectives today for 8 pax at the Lions Dirt Patch.

    Objective 1:
    A safety PSA for the burpee.

    One of YHCs annual duties as assistant to the regional manager of beatdown safety is a yearly PSA on burpee form. Especially pertinent during IPC.

    See works cited volume 1:

    Burpee: A History – from Paradox

    Okay, for the Yankee Jeauxs out there just sit back down and sip your Ensure …I know you smell the hypocrisy here that the leader in poor form can’t lead a beatdown about proper form but hey F3 is all about improvement ok.

    Objective 2.)
    Honor Mr Burpee and share his story.

    Objective 3.)
    Explore the millions of burpee variations and honor other accidental inventions and origin mishaps along the way .
    We want to be safe but we also want to push the boundaries of our physical limits so that maybe one day our children can say “oh the kraken burpee, my dad used to do those while his friends talked about omelette PTSD”

    Duke !
    Get the footage and Crank the fan servicing.
    It’s a franchise remake !

    Warmup
    Started with the Valve Challenge : SSH until he shows up. Today we made it till about 45. Must have been a slow call night. Plan was to go till 100 or till Lil cuz asked for Goose to distract us with LOTR voices,

    Indian Run w Dropoff for 3 Bobby Hurley with a nod to National pirate day and well I really don’t need an excuse to blare sea shanties.(one of the few musical masterpieces Goose and YHC agree on)
    AB took this time to invent the portmanteau “pirish” and spent the remaining beatdown trying to make it happen and securing ground floor investors.

    Thang 1
    First , the safety.

    Royal Huddleston Burpee was born in 1897 in NY. He joined the Navy during the beginning of World War 1 and while aboard a navy ship for several months developed a knack for creating challenging body weight exercises one could accomplish in small spaces.
    He loved efficiency , good form and pushing his body to its limits.

    To fully commemorate Royals Naval service we enjoyed
    “Drunken Sailor”
    With plank and merks on “Way Up “and “drunken sailor”

    We were left with a warm feeling in our chest and many non OSHA approved options on how to handle a drunken sailor.

    After his service Mr Burpee became Dr Burpee by attaining his PhD in exercise physiology at Columbia University. His particular field of focus was utilizing simple body movements in a sequence to help the military improve its physical fitness screening.

    So we deconstructed his original fitness test in 7s to help bring home the safe execution of the standard burp.

    7 hand to ground Squats
    14 Groiners
    21 Merk
    28 squat jumps

    With the safety and the history covered we segued into the future of the burpee and its millions of variations with “Peaches” by the Goosey Burpapalooza headliners : Presidents of the US of A.

    *YHC took this intermission to unveil Blue Tube 2.0, the newly modified wearable to make that special conversation with your M a little less awkward.

    Final Thang

    So despite beginning as a simple fitness test, the burpee was now a universally known, highly efficient, highly effective way to improve your cardio and with that super stardom came many variations.
    We would scratch the surface of a few F3 favorites while honoring other non intentional invention’s.

    Burp Trivia
    Correct 4 Reps
    Incorrect 8 reps

    1.) double merkins burpee

    1930 – Ruth Wakefield ran out of bakers chocalate and needed to use Nestle chips for her guests in her Inn, thereby inventing chocolate chip cookies .
    What was the name of the inn?
    (Tollhouse)

    Bearpee

    2.) late 19th century two brothers preparing food for a health spa accidentally left dough out , after its fermentation they sent it through rollers creating large crispy flakes .
    What are the brothers last name?
    (Kellog)

    Double Jump Burpee

    3.) 1943 attending to create a rubber substitute, General Electric engineer James Wright dropped boric acid into silicone oil. What did he create?
    (Silly putty)

    BroPees

    4.) 3M scientist Art Fry
    , frustrated by loose papers in his hymnals at choir practice met white other chemist ti produce what product.

    (Post it notes)

    Kraken Burpee

    5.) created to fill a need for cleaning soot from wallpaper this colored combination of salt, flour and water became what?
    (Play Doh)

    Notes:

    – Switching it up mid burpees and calling Honeysuckle “honey” felt like being in elementary school when you called the teacher “mom” on accident and had to talk to your parents about witness protection.
    – YHC thought these were atleast mildly difficult trivia and the pax gobbled them up like Kobyashi at the Nathan’s. Studs.
    – Several questions were answered almost in unison with Goose and White Meat sprinkling in early confidence. AB waiting in the bullpen like Rivera in the 9th but we never even had to call for the sandman to enter. Oh well , not everyone appreciates Nirvana.

    A few min left at the flag and as always any Burpee history lesson ends with a good tub thumping with Ole Danny Boy !!! We got knocked down , got back up and all were better for it.

    Honeysuckle bequeathed TFW to White Meat for his consistent meatiness this week.

    YHC awarded Blue Tube to Lil Cuz for his timely cardiovascular queries.

    COT
    -Sign up for the BK500 – September 28th
    -Culture Fest 5k – Oct 5
    -Prayers, support for Valve 2.0
    -Barney Fife surgery

    Uncle Ronnie Prayed us out

    Thanks for your effort men
    It’s a joy to lead ya.

    Dox Thumping

    We sing the songs that remind us of the good times (Taco Bell and Pizza Hut?)

    We sing the songs that remind us of the better times (Sandstorm?)

    We drink a whiskey drink
    We drink a vodka drink
    We eat Jimmy John
    We eat a Jersey Mike

    At the end of the day, the truth is I thought music mattered .

    heck I even thought burpees mattered..

    But does it?

    Bollocks!

    Good form or not

    We get knocked down
    We get back up again

    SYITG

    Dox

  • Morning Constitutional – from Popeye

    Constitution Day 2024: A little known day of recognition for the signing of the U.S. Constitution on September 17, 1787.

    YHC felt it was only appropriate to take the PAX back to school for a little quiz on this heralded document in order to verify the citizenship of the group and find out if the trivia nerd thing is doing any good.

    WU:
    SSH
    Slow Hi-Knee
    Windmills
    Side bends
    Arm Circles

    WU2:
    All above with tickets

    Preamble:
    A trip back in time to the schoolhouse that rocks. Schoolhouse Rocks was (is?) the leader in public school indoctrination of the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution back in YHC’s day. This catchy jingle is buried deep in my mind but at the strum of the banjo it instantly is unearthed from 40+ years of other learnings and it’s right there at the tip of my tongue. I know every word. Goose knew every word. Uncanny.
    10 step ups per leg and 10 crunchy frogs for the duration of the Preamble song.

    Quiz:
    #1: How many amendments to the Constitution have been proposed?
    Correct: 10 merks and 1 lap.
    Incorrect: 33 ticket overhead arm claps and 1 lap.
    Score: 0. PAX paid their dues and took the lap.

    #2: How many amendments to the Constitution have been ratified? (Homerians: this means voted on and approved)
    Correct: 5 burpees and 1 lap.
    Incorrect: 27 ticket seal/overhead claps and 1 lap.
    Score: 0. While the close guess of 28 was borderline impressive, it did not meet the standard and there’s no partial credit here.

    #3: Softball starter – Amendments 1-10 are known as what? PAX easily got this correct (thank God, they’re not Taliban).
    Actual question – The 1st Amendment grants what freedoms? The PAX quickly got speech, religion, press, and assembly… but the lesser known freedom is the right to petition the government. I’m here, petition me all you want – the answer was still technically not correct.
    The PAX celebrated their freedom from correct answers by executing mountain climbers with a merk on “free” to the dreadful sounds of “I’m Free” by the Soup Dragons. Worst band name ever? Maybe. Such a bad song that I didn’t even realize that it’s a cover of a Rolling Stones song. Moving on.

    #4: The 26th Amendment was ratified in 1971, what was it? Nobody knew. YHC informed them that it changed the voting age to 18. From what? PAX got this one correct with 21.
    Penalty: 18 ticket curls, 21 ticket overhead press and 1 lap.

    #5: Softball starter – How many Amendments have been repealed? CORRECT – 1.
    Actual question – What Amendment did the 21st Amendment repeal? Surprisingly, the PAX did not correctly answer that the 21st Amendment repealed the 18th Amendment, which was the prohibition of alcohol.
    The PAX enjoyed a BNL tune titled “Alcohol” while performing nonstop Imperial Walkers and knocking out a merkin on each mention of “alcohol.” I wonder if the Canadians who sang this song would have known the answer. Tolerate the song, take a lap.

    #6: What does the 8th Amendment prohibit?
    The PAX was incorrect in their guesses of slavery, Goose was close with some mumble that sounded kinda like due process, but sadly again we were without basic knowledge of the Bill of Rights. The correct answer was that the 8th Amendment prohibits “excessive fines and bail, and cruel and unusual punishment.”
    In honor of this, we took part in some cruel and unusual punishment with 2 rounds of Monkey Humper ring of fire. (note to self, next time start the ring with me, not the guy next to me).

    We were nearing time, but as the PAX knows I enjoy closing out with some planks. I selected 2 songs both titled “Freedom” to which we would hold plank, but due to the lack of Constitutional knowledge, we were forced to listen to the George Michael “Freedom” as opposed to the Rage Against the Machine “Freedom”. 60 second low plank, followed by 30 seconds on each side. Catchy jingle though, probably YJ’s ringtone.

    Time was called and the PAX circled up. Despite YHC’s desire to rid the PAX of the Blue Tube and blame it on FRANCINE, it survived the storm and this unique form of cruel and unusual punishment was awarded to Paradox.
    Intentions: Sign up for the dang BK5000 already. I know we’re last-minute but let’s be a bit less last-minute.
    COT – Prayers for storm recovery and the return of lost sheep to the flock. YHC’s little brother has been a lost soul for 20+ years and is finding a renewed faith – it’s never too late.
    Goose prayed us out.

    Honored to be a part of this crew and further your knowledge as ‘mericans. Hit the books.

  • The (probably not historically accurate) Last Indiana Jones Movie you should Watch – from America’s Best

    YHC arrived (almost) last, just in time for
    Warmarama:
    SSH
    And of course, having finished SSH, here comes the straggler… wait… Honeysuckle?
    Apparently Safety Valve inspires us all in some way or another.
    On to the rest: Windmills,
    The arm bundle: Lafayette Night Clubs, arm circles both ways, cherry pickers
    Mountain Climbers
    Then YHC handed the PAX off to Pope to lead a quick mosey while I grabbed my props.

    Thang One: The Breath of God
    “Only the penitent man shall pass”
    The penitent man is humble, kneels before God. As Indy knelt when the breeze blew through the cave, so would we.
    The theoretical plan: Lunge walk back and forth across the field, and each time there is a breeze, we would do one genuflection.
    The modified plan: Because we live in the doldrums here with no breezes, something else would have to substitute. Taking a page from Smooth Operator, each vehicle that passed would qualify as our breeze.
    That made sense when YHC came up with it last week, as there was no hurricane coming. The coming storm actually gave a bit of a breeze this morning. More importantly, it brought lots more traffic.
    Perfect.
    Oh, also “Listen Like Thieves” by Inxs on the W-King. Also genuflect when you hear “knees.”

    Thang Two: The Name of God. But not really the Name of God. More Like Kinda Like a Name that Got Made into a Name that Some People Might Consider a Moniker of God?
    Ok get ready. Please be patient as your blast goes off on a historical and semantic tangent. . .
    In the film, “the name of God” is said to be “Jehovah” (spelled with an I instead of a J), but apparently this is only an artificial Latinized rendering of the name of God. Some Christians in the Middle Ages combined the consonants in YHWH and the vowels of Adonai (“My Lord”) and somehow came up with Jehovah. Thanks to Goosapedia for this and don’t forget to donate now.
    Sooooo… although technically not correct, this name was created by Christians in the Middle Ages, which according to the film is when the Knights Templar set up this whole thing… I don’t know, but anyway it starts with an “I” also and let’s get back to the Thang here…
    We did 50 Jackhammers to get the letter J out of our system, then ran a Dora-mod for the rest of “Iehova” which at face value was the word Indiana Jones spelled out on the path in the movie.
    I = 100 Imperial Squat Walkers, 100
    E= 150 “El Valvinos” which I decided were SSH. Much less controversial name change here.
    H= 200 Hand Release Merkins
    O= 150 Oh nos (changed to 1=1 mid-stream due to time)
    V= 100 V-ups
    A= 50 Absolutions, but time was called on this first, so that we could get to

    Thang Three: “Only in the leap from the Lion’s Head will he prove his worth.”
    It’s a leap of faith. Something we’ve all taken at some point. It typically results in a stronger faith when you are done. So we took several leaps, having faith that we could do what our bodies said we couldn’t. Which was Broad Jump Burpees to the opposite sidewalk and back. Right about the time Goose and Pope got there, a gracious Q called “recover” and we headed to

    The Final Thang: The Grail Room
    Upon the stage were set several items we associate with F3: A coupon, a ticket, a cone, a pair of gloves, and a coffee thermos. Under each was written an exercise.
    The instructions: Choose one. The first chosen, we will do 40 of whatever is written under it. For the second chosen, we will do 30, then 20, 10, 5.
    Safety Valve volunteered to choose first. And he chose… poorly. But it was perfect. Choosing the false grail, aka the coffee thermos, he gave us Burpees, and 40 would be the number… unless someone could identify the theme of the songs today, in which case I would cut the numbers in half.
    No one could, so we set to burpin’ while YHC prodded the PAX to think, think! (I didn’t want to do 40 burpees). The PAX recounted the songs… Listen Like Thieves… Electric Feel… Brown Sugar… Smells like Teen Spirit… Double Vision…
    Suddenly it clicked (I think with a few, but I heard Goose first) and we reduced our number to 20. Next pick was the ticket, so we did 15 BBS, then several questioned whether the speaker was in play, to which YHC only said “choose wisely.” Of course no one chose the speaker, since it was in the middle of the circle, but that was the final test. Of course under The Wu of Kings it simply said, “You have chosen… wisely.” And that would have been the end.
    But it was time, so it was the end anyway.

    COT
    YHC was humbled as both The Fire within and the BluTube were bestowed upon him. Enron prayed us out.

    Thanks for coming out men. Always an honor to lead.

    SYITG,

    AB