Tag: Popeyes

  • Curling/special teams beatdown – from Smooth Operator

    Cardinal
    Goose
    Pope
    Dilly
    Tana
    Diddle
    Smooth Operator

    Last night seeing all the anti commits had me a little nervous about turnout. The fact that they were coupled with all the where were you stories for 9/11 where really cool and shows the diversity and different life experiences of this wonderful group. F3 is as much a support group and writing club as much as it is a fitness group and I am very happy to be a part of it.

    YHC was showed up to the Stage at 0455 after working a night shift. I was not expecting much of a turn out but knew I could count on Goose and Pope to show up to put in some work. Goose and Pope showed up around 0510 along with Cardinal and Tana. Dilly and Diddle showed up right before and during Warmarama. YHC was thrilled to see 7 PAX members ready to partake in some group suffering.

    Struggle bus for warmarama
    Due to sleep shortage, YHC struggled with cadence and a couple times just forgot I was supposed to be counting. Goose tried to help but to no avail. But I guess it’s the effort that counts.

    SSH
    Windmills
    Imperial walkers
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Mountain climbers
    Coupon curb mosey

    Today we will be doing a little shared suffering to honor the 2996 lives lost on September 11 2001. Just to help y’all feel young I was in the 3rd grade and had no idea what was going on. Today for our 10 counts you will be asked your where were you short story for 9/11.

    Thang 1
    Using a basketball we will throw or roll the ball down the street and we will be downing it similar to a punt coverage team in football or the wonderful winter Olympic sport of curling. If the ball goes off the concrete and into the grass we will be doing 10 burpees. Our mode of transport will be sprinting. Whenever we recover the ball we will be doing 5 Chuck Norris merkins. We will be going to the rich man loop dead end. This went surprisingly good. We managed to make it to the dead end only doing burpees once or twice. We probably did 40 to 50 Chuck Norris merkins.

    Thang 2
    We did a round of 7’s
    gossees on one side and American hammers 2 is 1 on the other and bear crawls were mode of transport. This one worked well and we got through it pretty easily. After Pope gave us a riveting story on how he was never thought of yet for 9/11.

    Back to Thang 1 with a twist

    Basketball game with grass penalty of 10 WW2 merkins, mode of transport is karaoke switching after every downing. 5 Bobby Hurley were the recovery exercise. We did this to the dead end near 3/4 mile mark on rich man loop. We went ahead and did one or two sets of world war sit ups due to a couple unforgiving curves in the road.The question was brought up which sit ups were we supposed to do. YHC honestly forgot there was a difference and was not overly concerned which exercise was performed.

    Thang 3
    Once we made it to the dead end we went ahead and set up to do some concrete crack suicides with a merkin performed each time you hit your starting point. The PAX ended up making it to the stop sign and probably did 10 sprints. After Goose gave us his story on where he was on 9/11. He was at LSU and watched the first tower fall realizing he had just watched thousands of people die. Went to class and got a text saying the second tower fell.

    Back to thang 1
    We played basketball game with American hammers 2 is 1 10 count as grass penalty. We sprinted as mode of transport. Recovery exercises was 5 Apollo unos. End point was supposed to be coupon curb dead end but due to 0600 approaching quickly we headed to the flag.

    Thang 4
    After we got back to the flag at 0555, YHC and Diddle set up the burrito and sent us out with Alan Jackson’s Where we’re you when the world stopped turning. The Pax would be changing levels on Al gore from low middle to high squat position. We would be changing levels on the breaks in the lyrics. This was tough and it carried us into 0600.

    Announcement revealed Goose has tomorrows Q. Honeysuckle VQ will be Thursday at the lions den. Saturday will be IPC. If you have been away for a while and still read back blast, this is as good a week as any to get back in the mix.

    Intentions were for all the babies and mommas in our community and Tana prayed us out.

    Thanks to all who came out and made this beatdown memorable.
    SYITG Smooth Operator

  • IPC: It’s Pure Crud, By Coyote – from Goose

    Today was the worst day of my life, I had to fly like a squirrel, I had to fight in World War 3, I couldn’t cheat with my Merkins, I had a fight with this jerk named Jillian Michaels, and every five minutes this voice came out of nowhere and told me to either Lunge walk, murder my bunny, or carry my rifle. It was a nightmare in the morning! If you sit down and get your popcorn, I’ll tell you the whole story….
     
                It was dark and crisp as YHC unloaded the killer material that YHC was forced to inflict on such innocent men!  After a few quick warmups, and YHC led the mosey to the field by Bayou Road. After a few brief introductions, we started the 45-minute timer of death. As we started, YHC looked around and saw that it was clear that some of the Pax would not make it through all this. But some of us managed to get to round two without the 5-minute timer interrupting our progress. YHC saw Yankee Joe and thought he was going to puke! A few even ripped their shirts off to beat the heat. Everyone hated the random voice that told us to walk in a really weird way. We were talking about the voice and how it didn’t compliment or encourage us until the very end, when it gave us a wimpy “Great job.” 
     
                In the end, we all survived, it was exhausting to even say our nicknames. We all loaded up the coupons, two smashed to pieces.
     
                And blam! That’s the story of how F3 Thibodaux survived the Execution of IPC, Week 1.

  • Beats, Bieber, Babies, Battlestar Galactica – from Paradox

    The year is 2011. Adeles “Rolling in the Deep” topped the charts. The Jefferson vs Lee qb controversy raged across the state. Wilfred Montana was ranked internationally in Call of duty. F3 was just 30 dudes at a park in North Carolina. What a time to be alive !

    It was this very year YHC and his future M had advanced into that special realm of the relationship called “meeting the family”. The mission of this weekend trip was simple: meet family , make a good impression and hide your IBS at all costs. Well they say everyone has a plan till you get punched in the mouth. And most of the IBS crew will add that you also have a plan until you heap salad on top of Billy’s boudin balls (pepperJack of course, shout out Krotz Springs) ) and sprinkle in the nerves of meeting your potential future in laws. It was amidst these trials and tribulations of gastrointestinal chaos that YHC was handed an even greater task. Returning from yet another bathroom break YHC was ambushed by his Ms sister holding a pint sized human, colloquially known as a “baby”. I would later find out this was my Ms niece who was thrust into my arms with the awkward wink and even more awkward comment to the baby “it’s your future uncle Devin “ …
    I held her with both arms extended from my body like a diapered grenade, unsure what to do next. My future sister in law saw the panic set in.
    “She…she won’t explode ..ya know. Just walk with her, she likes that.”
    I began a slow rhythmic walking and patting of the tiny human that any Native Americans would have appreciated as a rain dance. She found it neither comforting nor humorous and began to sing the song of her people. I immediately handed her back. “Is there an off button?” I asked and was met with shaking heads and pity.
    Later, on the long road back to Shreveport, Ashley inquired further. “So is that like the first baby you have ever seen in your life?” She asked as hwy 90 zipped by. I pondered it , then agreed
    “Yea , I think so. What a strange thing, I’ll try to limit my exposure in the future. Hey we are coming up on Billy’s! Want an order of boudin?! …

    And so we fast forward in the back-blast Time Machine and bring you to this morning at the Lions Den. Where 12 men showed up to help YHC shake off the rust (it’s been 7ish years) and welcome my 2.3. YHC is not the only pax with a baby on the way and figured September is a fine month for sharpening skills.

    Duke get the Boudreaux butt paste and roll the footage !
    It’s a baby dedication beatdown !

    Warmup
    The usuals with Tana doing whatever he pleases in stark rebellion. Smooth looked dashing in Hawaiian print and Ronnie wanted it noted that after silent reflection he has named most of the Thibodaux pax.

    Mosey to Hill and some of the pax had the early itch we call the basketball Jones. Goose practically begged for it to be played so JBL serenaded us with the Cheech and Chong classic. (Sorry AB, you missed it again)

    Thang 1
    First things first
    Getting the Baby News

    Arms Wide Open – Creed
    On the hwy hill, lunges up to backward lunges down with a Navy Seal burpee on “With arms wide open”
    The PAX cut the total time in half with correct answers from Enron, Dilly and Goose about Creeds 1999 Human Clay album led by Scott Stapp. A nice warmup.

    Next to rush to the hospital for delivery :

    Indian Run around the reservoir to the bball court with last man dropping off to do 3 flying squirrels for some hidden IPC prep

    At the ball court:

    There’s no point in even having a baby these days if you can’t blast it on all your socials right?!
    YHC took center court for “Baby” by Justin Bieber (2010’s My Way 2.0 album )
    The pax failed to guess these (Horn was sorely missed) but a gracious YHC gave DJ Ronnie credit for knowing Ludacris was featured. Deep rap knowledge from dem 318 bawzzz!
    Additional credit for pax guessing each round of Babies at 18 reps .

    Tin soldiers on song
    Bobby hurleys on Baby

    For a ten count YHC requested Dad Jokes and was not surprised to find the pax can go deep into the night before that tank is empty.

    So now we are home with a new human and excited about it. What’s next ? Hello darkness my old friend for 6 months?
    No Dox! no , we’ve been through this.
    Do Tanas restorative yoga breathing ? ? A useful tool yes , but some of us aren’t that advanced in the ways of eastern medicines.

    It’s time for the cry baby checklist !
    (No not the one one about Jeauxs manniversary , that’s another beatdown)

    Here’s the essential question I remember from 7 years ago , the question that all actions revolve around for months.

    The question is:

    What in Sam Hill could that baby have to cry about ??

    Furthermore why did it not listen when I told it in my plain broken English to please stop crying ??

    Duke! Get the checklist!

    1.) Does the baby need diaper changed?

    Rule: Assess the Damage and watch for shooters

    “7’s” donkey kicks/jump tucks

    Start out with 7 DKs to get down low and assess the damage and sprint to other end of court 1 JT so you can avoid the shooter (urination from a male baby) then Nur back for 6 DKs/2 JTs
    Repeato

    2. Proper Waste Management:
    Rule : Kobe 4 Lyfe

    If you are not involved directly in the changing of the waste then you can atleast take part in its disposal. One absolute necessity as a father is that you take the #1 diapers and shoot them into the trash can like Kobe. It’s an innate talent passed on from our own fathers who shot the urine cotton conglomerate and whispered “mJ” or “Wilt” But for YHCs generation there was no greater jeer than landing a nothing but net shot with a wad of college rule paper right in your 7th grade janitors face (and maybe a crowd of 8th grade girls) and hitting him with the “KOBE!!”
    Side note: It’s been a while but I do strongly suggest this with only the #2s dipes.

    This logically lead us to …
    F3 Put Out (Gotcha)
    SSH in line while waiting
    Mosey the court once you are out
    Last man standing

    YHC could tell Tana was in the zone early when he renamed the game Diaper Dandies. It came down to Dilly, Goose and BoneT to hold him off but his game was too strong today and he took the trophy and awarded the pax 10 burpees.

    #3 Is the baby Gassy?
    Rule: baby pat rain dance

    Partner Up:
    80 no cheat merkins 10 at a time while partner does gas pumps.

    YHC introduced Tana to concrete back farts while Enron and Valve listened to his mounting concern that we should call GI Joe for consultation. Hypotenuse was silently googling CrossFit locations.

    #4 Is the baby Hungry ?
    **this was scratched for time, you’ll thank me on Saturday**

    Moseyed back to the flag for :

    #5 do they need to be held ?
    So Close by Calvin Harris
    We took this jam to the buzzer with mixed Abs and Freddy mercuries.

    COT
    Announcements : IPC week 1 Saturday at the peltch. Watch the vids and practice your flying squirrels at home.

    Shoutout:
    T-Claps to Hypotenuse with back to back posts looking like a very solid addition to the already stacked ‘23 draft class .

    our intentions and prayers for expecting families

    Popeye prayed us out

    Thank you for the lead today men
    It was a much needed reminder at the difficulties ahead but also for the gratitude of this community and strength God provides through your brotherhood.

    Epilogue :

    2080
    West Lafourche

    “Baby ,baby ,baby ahhhh, like baby, baby, baby awww, I thought you’d always be mine “ the man sang has he jogged into Highland Lakes wrapping up his sprint home from his 60th manniversarv.
    He walked inside after giving the ole Sprinter (with the personalized RONNIE plates) two pats on the hood. “She’s still got it” he said walking in to find his M in need of help to dispose of a diaper from their great great grand-baby (4.0). He grabbed the diaper, side stepped the defense and drained it into the waste basket 30 feet away. “Kobe” he whispered looking at the old framed picture of the bayous finest men around a shovel flag. “Kobe …”

    SYITG
    Dox

  • A Little Stitious by Safety Valve – from Goose

    It was a cloudy morning, overcast, 76 degrees Fahrenheit, 98% humidity from the rain the day before, when 11 members of the PAX showed up to the Stage to prove once again they are worthy. Bone thugs convinced an FNG to follow him along today and we were blessed to name a new face to the group. The St. John crew continues to impress with the show rate. Turt made a second appearance, even though Dox continues to tout the JBL is waterproof up to 6 ft and in all respects better than any other speaker available.

    Journal log 9/5/2023 – My observation of this group continues, though less intently today as YHC focused on leading these men through his first Q, the VQ they call it. The first few encounters for YHC’s documentary have been odd. They seem to use a completely different language and enjoy the workouts when they are tougher. Who uses cinder blocks (where does coupon even come from?) to workout? Even though odd, these men continue to show up week after week and seem to enjoy themselves. Is it the pain they enjoy? Do they enjoy sitting down on the toilet and getting up grunting because of the soreness? YHC is at his wits end trying to figure it out. Contemplating, YHC is reminded of another documentary-“The Office”. At first with “The Office”, YHC questioned the Michael Scott methods of leadership, the romance within the work place, and how many employees are needed for a small satellite office that sells only paper. But, as observations continued, YHC slowly saw how Michael Scott (who initially seemed unfit to lead an obese cat to a bowl of food) actually was one of the best leaders to get this mangy group of people to work together and actually enjoy selling paper of all things. As Scott said “The only time I set the bar low is for limbo”. Furthermore, the usual bad taste of dating someone in the workplace turned out to be the best love story since Romeo and Juliet. YHC was proved wrong and is determined to find out what makes this group of F3 men tick…

    Warmarama

    Side straddle hops
    Wind mills
    Imperial walkers
    Mountain climbers
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles back

    The thang
    1 mile run – 0.5 mosey with 0.5 Indian run to finish at the Bumper to grab coupons. During the first part of the mosey, the mind started to wonder. As we lined up for the Indian run at the halfway point, YHC wondered if he would be enough to lead this group of men. How will the PAX make it through workouts today without having the impressive form and determination of Paradiddle to gaze upon. But to my wondering eyes, we saw the brown locks of hair bouncing past us during his run to the front of the line to signify he made it and caught up during the warm up run. We were going to be ok. Diddle was with us.

    After the warm up run and a couple 10 counts The PAX were split into 4 groups of 2 and a single thruple for a continuous AMRAP – 25 minutes total, 5 minutes at each station. Since iron PAX week 0 was still fresh in the mind, the goal for today was to get a full body cardio workout without failing a single particular muscle group. The stations were as follows:

    The love story (who doesn’t love Jim and Pam) – catch me if you can – nur around track, other partner does 5 burpees and sprints to catch

    The warehouse – 15 Bobby Hurleys (squat to touch the ground then jumps up raising arms), 15 overhead presses, 15 deadlifts

    Parkour – leap frog your partner from one picnic table to the other, once there do 10 Jillian Michaels, rinse and repeat.

    The annex (because everyone hates Toby) – 10 man makers, 20 captain Thor’s, 10 thrusters

    The Stanley Hudson – 26 merkins (anything is possible if you want to leave work early for the day), 15 pretzel crunches left, 15 pretzel crunches right (because Stanley loves pretzel day)

    It wasn’t long after starting that we found out that “Parkour” was going to be the tough station, even though Toby in the Annex upset everyone. It’s never a good sign when the super group of Goose and Diddle ask if I’m keeping time because they were ready be done with the Parkour fun. Alas, they still had 1 minute to go as YHC peered at the timer. The chatter otherwise was kept to a minimum while the PAX grinded through each station. America’s Best was unlucky enough to have YHC be his partner again. Once again he continues to proved his name change to America’s beast as he nurred (nar?) around the track at lightening speed. If he was in “The Office” there would be no love story, Pam would have never caught up to him.

    After 25 minutes and each group visiting every station, time was called. We circled up and cloudy vision and foggy minds set in after the beat down as we prepared to name and bring the FNG to the PAX. The absence of Yankee Jeaux was felt as we missed his whimsical naming ability. In the end our FNG was fittingly named Hypotenuse, giving Enron a huge confidence boost as he bagged his first naming. Announcements were made, iron pax week 1 schedule was discussed, prayers were lifted, Dumbledore prayed us out.

    …In the end, I have finally figured out why people keep showing up week after week, day after day, and persuading other people they actually like in their personal lives to join them in the F3 brotherhood (aka cult). Because YHC is not the greatest with words and the poetic form of Yankee Jeaux and Goose was not inherited I’m going to quote one of our own. Cardinal once wrote:

    “Whenever I tell someone about F3, it’s usually something like ‘we exercise early and it usually sucks. But it’s some of the best men I’ve ever met in my life.’”

    The human body can only take so much alone, physically and mentally. It takes other good people around to push us to new heights. YHC will always have huge respect to every person in the PAX for that reason.

    Welcome hypotenuse! The workouts do suck, but you will get to know some great men and be a better person for it.

  • The Greatest…Most Incredible…Most… – from Goose

    It was indescribable. It was more than perfect. YHC didn’t know what to expect on this Labor Day morning after a destructive IPC Saturday, and at 5:14 sitting with Pope in an empty parking lot, we thought maybe we’d be going back to bed to keep nursing our wounded muscles and pride. But, we could never have expected the overwhelming gift, the perfect storm of perfectness that lay ahead. Diddle pulled in as the clock struck 5:15, and it…it…began.
    To try put into human words, even in these sacred annals, the blessed events that occurred, that washed over and through us this morning, would be an unforgiveable blasphemy and would leave you, dear reader, in the same awe-struck paralysis of wonder that YHC has been lost in these past three hours. (I just regained use of my hand, and what a tragedy, what a heartbreak to have to come back to what is now a world of mediocrity).
    It is clear that what we experienced was the greatest beatdown that has ever occurred, that will every occur, that could ever possibly occur. And, to even keep speaking about it would…would……

  • IronPax Week Zero – from Paradox

    You are gazing upon the happenings of Thibodaux, La on the morning of Sept 2 and there are many sights to behold. In the deep gloom near Peltier park several athletes push their bodies to the max in an annual event meant to find the limits of cardiovascular and psychological endurance. It comes every fall and like cool weather and Friday night football it signals the changing of seasons. That event is known as the ED White Cross Country meet.
    ….
    Now take your telescoping lens and scooch it over just a hair ..adjust the mean age by 17 years , sprinkle in wisdom and wrap it in grit and tenacity. Remove the cheering family and substitute with dual connect JBLs. There, there you are, just right. Now you have it.
    Can you see 15 pax surrounded by coupons and encircling the shovel flag prepared to face IPC week zero?

    IPC is finally here!!

    here’s how week zero took place on da bayou.

    Duke! Roll the footage and wake me up when September ends!

    Warmups
    After a week of prep with some finely tuned beatdowns, YHC wanted to add an extra layer of lather and injury protection before we put the pedal all the way to floor so we had round 1 of warmups at the flag with Seal Jacks , IW , Arm circles , CP, Self love , High knees , Butt kicks.
    The pax were loose and ready to dive in as we coupon moseyed to the ThunderDome for the main event.

    The Thang

    It’s taken YHC a few years to decode our QIC Gooses love language but most days I can translate it well. A few examples : “Your shorts are too short” really means “I’m shopping for shorter shorts tonight because they highlight your quads”. And “Those High Knee Arm circles are the dumbest thing in the known universe” really means “that’s an effective and thorough warmup Dox and I think you are swell”
    Of course this takes years of verbal battery to acquire but here I am better for it.
    So when YHC unveiled a 7 foot particle board sign with todays week zero instructions and Goose simply said “I wish it was taller” then I really knew he was saying “I’m overwhelmed by its magnificence and only a sonnet would suffice for praise”
    Fair enough my friend but I know how you really feel.
    YHC gave a quick rundown and we got to the work below:

    Start the timer
    Warmup
    13 reps
    SSH- IW-MC-ST-PJ

    800 meter run

    Then 85 Reps of each followed by 8 burpees after each round of :

    HR merkins
    BBSU
    Dips
    Goblet Squats
    Coupon OHP
    4 count flutter kicks
    KB swings

    800 meter run

    The Iron PaxCenter Top Plays
    Brought to you by CoolJabs :

    As most IPCs go when the whistle blows the vision tends to get hazy. Week zero was no exception and although YHC teetered somewhere between blurred vision and syncope for the duration these were the observations.

    -The pax got off to a nice start on the 800 meter with DiddleGoose (don’t google this ) upfront amd Pope as the pace car and the second wave of pax keeping a conservative pace just behind.

    – Turns out America’s Beast is an actual Virginian grizzly bear. Some think he began the transformation during Popes halo bear crawl of death. Whenever it was I’m here to tell you The BearMan was rolling with good form early with the HR merkins and YHC found inspiration in his intermittent bear grunts. If only we had a shirt for this occasion.
    – The 2.0s provided both stern form advice (Duke) and light hearted banter (Coyote) along with the watchful eye from our wagon EMT (Jack B Nimble)
    – Team JBL reassured the pax of high performance audio after a shaky week. Tuesday we were upstaged by a younger and more beautiful turtle box and Thursday JBL flip 6 (our brother formerly from OLOPs) provided some questionable connection. So Diddles JBL Burrito saved face and YHC did my best DJing to keep the pax spirits high. If some one doesn’t show up at my funeral and play Turn Down for What I’ll be a tad disappointed.
    – Dumbledore was performing coupon goblet squats so perfect and so deep I had to stop mid beatdown and write Crayola a letter via owl from the Hogwarts school of Glute and Quads. Well done Dore.
    – The goblet squats were a gut check for us all and it was no surprise they brought out Smooths best . He was hammering them 10 at a time and there was no quit as the Clydesdale awoke in him.
    – Great to have LOX back with us today! bringing in the summer magic and getting a good break from reading all those rich mohagney seminary books.
    – Gi Joe brought a steely performance amd YHC kept seeing him hit a wall, take a breath and break through to the next set. Well on his way to bring the fittest GI Doc in the state.
    – Overall this crew stood their ground through some ridiculously high reps and stayed in the fight till we hit 7:30 and circled up. T-claps indeed.

    COT and Goose prayed us out

    Grateful to lead men
    Keep hammering

    Moleskin :
    If you’ve attended 1 beatdown or really any social gathering you can usually find the guy in a group who has an internal pressure to hear his own voice. YHC was born with this affliction. So every year when IPC rolls around I find it a nice change of pace (if only brief) to work on battling the inner voice. The one that says 85 reps is stupid and that things are burning and here’s 9000 reasons you should stop. But 1 reason to keep going IS present and part of the iron sharpening process is looking over and seeing the guy next to you fighting that same battle. Each rep, each set, each week we sharpen each other a little more.
    Welcome to September men.

    See you in the Gloom
    Dox

  • St. John the Baptist/ Bearcrawl tag/ Oliver Anthony – from Smooth Operator

    8/29/23 St. John the Baptist/ Bearcrawl Tag/Oliver Anthony

    Attendance
    Goose
    Pope
    Enron
    Dumbledore
    Yankee Joe
    Honeysuckle
    Americas Best
    Safety Valve
    Tana
    Paradox
    Smooth Operator

    This morning YHC had some serious trouble getting out of bed. The only thing that kept me from sleeping till 0900 was my commitment to the HC and the idea of some shared suffering with friends.

    YHC arrived around 0505 on the heels of Paradox to find Enron and Dumbledore waiting on us. After a request for a music box in the group text fell unanswered, YHC just assumed Dox would have JBL on standby as usual. When Dox was confronted about JBL, you could have sworn he left one of his kids home unattended with the stove set to broil by his reaction. Dox started running straight to a groggy Yankee Joe whom had car pooled with AB and Honeysuckle to no avail. Finally, St. John’s place podna Safety Valve came through in the clutch and pulled out what appeared to be a lunch box out of the Platinum. After confirming this was indeed a speaker and not a PB and J sandwich holder, YHC saw the name on the front was turtle box. YHC has seen quite a few speakers that have graced the PAX with tunes throughout my 7 or 8 month tenure as a PAX member, none have jammed quite like the Turtle. The rest of the PAX pulled up and we started warmarama at 0516.

    Warmarama

    SSH
    Imperial walkers
    Windmills
    Willie Mayes Hayes
    Arm Circles
    Cherry Pickers
    Mountain Climbers
    Pairing up for Thang 1
    Coupon curb mosey to pick up 1 coupon per pair

    Today is the Feast of the passion of St. John the Baptist. YHC was very short on my explanation of why we were doing the couple of exercise because of time constraints, but the main points of my research and reasoning behind this beat down were 3 things. John the Baptist was sent by God to make straight the road for Jesus Christ which we will touch on with thang #1. John the Baptist was also sent by God to preach repentance and spread the news of Jesus ministry, which we will touch on in thang #2. Thang #3 didn’t have much to do with John the Baptist, it had more to do with shared suffering and these songs have been very helpful for me while dealing with my recent hardships.

    Alright let’s get on with it.

    Thang #1
    Catch me if you can/ murder bunny version

    Thang one ties in with John the Baptist because we are going to literally make the path straight for our partners to run behind us by pounding the ground flat with coupons. We moseyed to the big field down the bayou from the stage. After finalizing our partnerships, YHC set out to explain Catch me if you can which I remembered really enjoying a Goat’s beatdown where this was involved. Basically partner 1 starts murder bunnying across the field toward white fence and back. Partner 2 will complete 5 goosees and then sprint to partner one and catch him. After this the partners will switch until they have completed 3 times from the street to the white fence. After this the Pax did the same exercise except we lunge walked instead of murder bunnyed and did 5 merkins instead of goosees. We completed 2 more street to white fence reps. The PAX did awesome on this exercise and shout out to Dumbledore taking care of his portion of the work and alot of mine. That dude is a beast and probably a future animal if the current owner of the animal shirt ever brings it back to a beatdown.

    Thang #2
    Bear crawl tag
    Earlier this summer, Tractor and I were outside playing tag. We had the sprinklers on, Jack be Nimble was running around spraying people down with a hose pipe. Miller was probably trying to find a new way to get hurt. Well YHC was tired of running after that little speedster tractor and we decided to try something new. Tag but on all fours. We did this for at least an hour and tractors stayed smiling for way longer than that. Then the wheels started turning and YHC knew he needed to work this one into a beat down. Alright back to reality, the rules for this one were relatively simple, we all
    Bear crawl, YHC would start out as IT. As I tagged people they would do 5 merkins and then be IT along with myself. We would continue on until 1 person was left standing. Then they would start the next game being it. Well due to time restraints we only played one game, but this one will make a comeback.

    Thang #3
    Musical beatdown.
    With a little over 15 minutes we had the perfect amount of time to get through the 3 songs I picked out for today. These songs were very helpful with YHC coping with the hardships I been experiencing lately and I really wanted to share them with the PAX.
    There has been a craze over a farmer from Virginia lately. He goes by Oliver Anthony and he sings some simple songs that have messages that are strong in character.

    The first song was titled Rich Man’s Gold.
    The PAX would be changing levels from mission impossible and high plank whenever there is a break in the lyrics. YHC stressed it was not important in getting all the lyrical breaks correct it was all about the effort.

    After this we moved on to the second song Rich men from Richmond. This song is what made Oliver Anthony popular. Contrary to popular belief, Oliver Anthony is not a conservative. He pretty much said he doesn’t like any politicians. On the second song we would be changing levels again in the breaks in the lyrics. We would be switching from deep squat, Al gore or mid level squat, to an athletic position. As the song went on, YHC ability to distinguish the breaks in the lyrics got worse and worse.

    The last song was a song from Larry Fleet, Where I find God. For this one we would be holding 6” and with ever break in the lyrics we would be doing a leg raise. 3/4 of the way through we hit 0600. The Pax seemed pretty content with this.

    After this we had COT. A few of us had problems counting off. Announcements revealed that Enron had the Q for Thursday at the Lion’s Den. We expressed intentions for all the PAX members whom M’s are pregnant and Safety Valve prayed us out.

    Thanks to all who showed up. Keep up the good work and thanks for pushing me to be a better man.
    SYITG,
    Smooth Operator

  • “Sweet Summer Rain…” – from Goose

    As the thunder rolled and the lightning struck starting at about 3am, YHC wondered how many more fartsackers would avoid this morning’s romp than the usual Goose-Q checkouts. But, as it strangely does on F3 mornings, the weather let up at around 5:00am, and this morning it eased to a gentle drizzle and some beautiful lightning in the distant sky. YHC couldn’t have ordered it up better, especially after the streak of stifling sizzlers we’ve been enduring for the past month or so.
    After a warmup of the usuals plus some lower back work, we moseyed to the coupon stack to grab a few. YHC stopped by the truck to grab the beautiful, readable marker board that YHC’s M prepared for this morning’s IPC prep, and we set up the easel facing the parking lot, on purpose, so everyone could read it since exercises would be done on the concrete and the grass.
    YHC is a little wary of all the HR merkins, goblet squats, and kettle bell swings that we’re destined to burn out on this coming Saturday morning, so I figured we’d utilize the opportunity to strengthen the same joints we’ll be straining since we’re five days out, enough time to grow some muscle around them.

    The board said:
    15 of each, 10 burpees, then Stop Sign run
    -HR Merkins
    -BB situps
    -Goblet Squats
    -Dips
    -OH Presses
    -Flutter kicks (4-count)
    -Kettle Bell Swings
    -10 Burpees

    And, the grind began. Lil’ Cuz brought an FNG from the far north (round Homer somewhere–newly named Barney Fife), but in my own wet fog, I didn’t see how he managed. Seemed ok at the end, though. The men were unusual quiet as they slogged through it, though YHC was grateful for Paradox’s verbosity, which served as a distraction during the runs. (It was good to have a reason to push, too–can’t have anybody too far ahead of me, and Dox was feeling froggy this morning.). Dumbledore continues to impress as he kept moving despite foggy glasses, and Cardinal stayed right behind us the entire time looking fit in that Carolina blue.

    YHC was grateful for these dudes and their willingness to grind through this wet morning. It’s an experience that’s hard to match, and it changes everything when you’re sharing it with quality men.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The Jurpee: Live and Deconstructed – from Yankee Joe

    Quick Note:

    Gentlemen, this beatdown was just hard. I appreciate and admire how each of you simply took care of business. Though Q-drenaline is real, I can say that when my tank is empty and my brain is lying to me, all I need to do is look around at the PAX to regain momentum. In my experience, there’s no amount of self discipline or mental toughness that can manufacture that last mile push. This is why the gym membership, by itself, will eventually fail.

    If you have not Q’d a beatdown yet, get on the books. I promise you are READY.

    The Blast
    —————————————–

    Wednesday Night – 6:45 pm

    YHC: “Hey Babe…can you come look at this beatdown design real quick?”

    M: “Sure, I can’t think of anything else that would be a better use of our time while trying to get kids ready for bed.”

    YHC: “I totally agree! Ok…do you think 200 burpees is too much?”

    M: “Honey, we talked about this. You don’t make friends by trying to hurt them.”

    YHC: “C’mon…it’s not like that…the guys will love this stuff.”

    M: “Really? Doesn’t half of F3 Thiboduax go to the same chiropractor?”

    YHC: “Umm. Actually, now that you mention it, yes…yes they do. Hey…do me a favor and don’t mention the Chiropractor thing to Paradox. He gets real sensitive about it.”

    ——————————————-

    Thursday Morning – 6:45 am

    2.0: “Daddy, are you in here? I heard noises like a dinosaur. Why are you on the floor next to the potty”

    YHC: “Hey, sweetheart. Yes, I’m fine. Daddy’s tummy is a little upset.”

    2.0: “Why?”

    YHC: “Daddy did a really hard workout this morning with lots of those burpee things I showed you.”

    2.0: “Why?”

    YHC: “I thought it would be fun.”

    2.0: “It’s not fun to hurt your friends. Did you throw up on Mr. Enron again?”

    YHC: “I did NOT throw up on Mr. Enron. How many times do I have to tell you?”

    —————————————–
    The Inspiration

    We are just mere days away from the best time of the year – The Iron Pax Challenge. The F3 Thibodaux draft class of 2023, as mentioned in prior blasts, has reshaped the PAX into a collective of bad, bad men…or bawzzz as it were – Michelin, French Horn, Michelin, Honeysuckle, America’s Best, Bone Thug, Safety Valve, and Dumbledore. This group of monsters have not experienced IPC’s path-altering power. I’m not sure about Popeye and Paradiddle since they are part of the F3 Thibby OG. Yeah, you know me.

    IPC has a way of changing a man, breaking through and shattering the false ceilings of what he thinks he can or can’t do. Lil’ Cuz and Superfund as FNG’s, were (as Dox eloquently noted) “forged” in the IPC fires. Once a week in September, with pre-blast in hand, each man voluntarily embraces a level of such exertion that chatter simply vanishes and is replaced by venomous snark.

    For those less familiar, I offer the following snapshot from various IPC beatdowns last year.

    —————————————–
    After a few minutes, you’re already in pain. You start becoming confused. You can’t understand how any actual human can do this amount of man-makers (burpees with a coupon). You think back on the F3 Greenwood pre-blast video tutorials. Ben Gay, with a smug smirk, describes the week’s torture like it’s directions for making frozen pizza. He has a few jabronies jump into frame to demonstrate like THREE REPS of the various exercises. You hate their perfect Bonnie Blair form with their stupid pumping arms. You’re like, “C’mon… if I only had to do a few reps, I could bring my ass to the ground like a catcher on a coupon thruster too.” The hate starts to consume you.

    You try not to drop your coupon on Enron’s toes after he comments on your inability to tell time (You’ll get your vengeance during the Skinny Runner IPC, watching him desperately try to use a jump rope). You see Montana waving frantically at the “we’re not worthy” station. Your legs are wet noodles, and you stumble across the field to change the song as BAPS very loudly blares that particularly offensive (and REPEATING) lyric in Rage’s “Killing in the Name.” Why? Because there’s a Family Fun Run at the Peltch. Moms are blushing. Kids are crying. Dads are moshing.

    You’re out of breath…there is no side conversation. You see Cardinal toss his coupon 10 yards after each set, disgusted by the very nature of the beatdown design. You think to yourself that there hasn’t been something this awful since the casting tragedy for High King Peter in the Narnia movies. They might as well have cast Jar Jar. At least Jar Jar had a story arc of growth and purpose. King Peter enters the plot as a douche wagon…and well, upgrades to a minivan.

    You look over, marveling at how Goose and Wet Tap can be so far ahead of everyone else…hoping deep down that you’ll catch them executing poor form. You hear ‘Lil Cuz lament that he should have taken the glove recommendation seriously, and yet he’s still plowing through with bloody, blistery hands. You know that Paradox typically takes off his shirt when a beatdown starts getting serious…about half way through. This day, you’re horrified to see him lose the shirt, and we’re only five minutes in. Instead of running between exercises, you’re shuffling like a prisoner with ankle cuffs on. It’s like the opening scene in “Saving Private Ryan.” Everything sounds warped like you’re underwater. You think, “ I can’t keep going…not even one more rep. Not one more step.”

    But you’re wrong. You CAN do more reps. And you do them. Then time is called and it’s over. Suddenly, you love everything and everyone. You praise F3 Greenwood for their misunderstood creativity. You spit out endorphin laced Dad jokes and everyone laughs. It’s an emotional and physical rollercoaster. IPC is where YHC turned the corner in F3. I’ve been waiting so patiently. It really is the best time of the year.
    ————————————-

    So….

    The On Ramp

    14 PAX showed up to the Den on a Thursday morning. Today was forecast to set heat index records. By 5:15 am, the heat index was already 90 degrees. The humidity was hovering around 70%. As French Horn would say, “Bruhhhh…it was nastayyy.” Before getting out of the douche wagon, America’s Best presented YHC with his ‘hot off the press’ prescription glasses. This exceptional customer service wouldn’t save him from the morning’s misery, but I did feel a little guilty if that counts for anything. The only other medical professional I’ve known that offers such unparalleled customer satisfaction is a Chiropractor in Raceland. (That noise you’re hearing? Bad words being yelled in Homerican…)

    The PAX seemed oddly quiet. Was it because YHC’s subtle pre-hype about burpees wasn’t so subtle? Was it because they heard YHC talking to Goose about doing Goosey’s (bonnie blair with squat jump) as a MODIFICATION? Perhaps it was because the SV500 tank top club is super elitist and the rest of us felt left out. Who’s to say? With French Horn posting two days in a row, however, James Hetfield would insist nothing else matters.

    Usual warmarama with some extra arm and hamstring stretches, then off to the lighted tennis/pickleball courts where BAPS awaited us with superior sound quality and epic beats.

    Our rev up song was “Call On Me” by Eric Prydz. The PAX would do Burpees on “Call On Me,” recover in between. There were 51 burpee opportunities. At this point, there was still minimal chatter. The pace was fast between burpee triggers. In fact, “Call On Me” are the only words in the song. The men were beasts. YHC was not.

    ————————————-
    The Thang

    For the main event, we put together a deconstructed burpee with some core. The objective was to mimic the AMRAP nature of many IPC beatdowns. YHC would set the clock for 20 minutes and the PAX would complete as many rounds as possible in that time. Following the lead of Ben Gay, YHC demonstrated the various exercises in three-rep increments. The PAX was not pleased to learn that the actual rep count was 20 for each exercise. YHC did his best to soften the misery with a carefully curated EDM playlist.

    The Deconstructed Jurpee – AMRAP rounds for 20 min. (goal of 5 rounds)

    20 medium slow and low squats
    20 groiners
    20 merkins
    20 groiners
    20 jump squats with arms raised
    20 LBC’s
    20 leg raises

    Per usual, I looked across the circle to see Goose, Wet Tap, and Pope breezing through the rounds. Honeysuckle looked almost bored, but sweating profusely, nonetheless. Smooth was grinding as always, shirt off, and knocking out merkins like it was nothin’. Safety Valve continues to impress and looks similar to Paradiddle with his methodical (and dare I say, perfect) form. Cardinal was straight up working! With a focused, stoic expression, he was not shying away from one of the things he hates most in life…the burpee (a close second to misguided telecommunications consumer choices).

    Heck, even Montana’s form wasn’t criminal. All the more impressive considering that a burpee is not really conducive to being 6’ 7.” Every time YHC looked over at Paradox, he just “happened” to be doing leg raises, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. However, he was the biggest cheerleader of the playlist, which I genuinely appreciate considering I spent 45 minutes trying to find the perfect EDM cover of “Wellerman.”

    ————————————–
    YHC called time and with six minutes left in the beatdown, two options were planned…Mary or another longish song with burpee triggers. It was safe to say that the AMRAP deconstructed burpee had served its purpose. Except for Pope, the rest of us were wet toast. I offered ONLY the latter option to the PAX. I have no doubt that internally, each of us thought it was as dumb an idea as remaking Willow. Lucasfilm, that’s enough. Haven’t you hurt society enough? Audibly though, to a man, all chose death over cake.

    So, burpees for every male chorus response. 53 triggers to be exact. With the Pet Shop Boys reinvigorating our souls, the PAX did four minutes of “Go West” before time was called and we moseyed back to a sullen Aslan. No doubt lamenting his choice of High King.

    COT, the ANIMAL and GiGi tanks were nowhere to be seen, and Goose prayed us out.

    ———————————-

    Have a Cup of Jeaux

    I’m going to leave this here…

    Episodes 1 – 3 should be stricken from the record. Completely. Never happened. Do it again. George Lucas can hang out on set, but he gets zero input on the writing.

    If you don’t know what Episodes 1 – 3 refers to, ignorance is literally bliss. If you liked Episodes 1 – 3, you’re probably High King Peter.

    SYITG,

    Jeaux

  • Run Lift Shoot Beatdown – from Smooth Operator

    Attendance
    Goose
    POPE
    Tana
    Safety Valve
    Wet Tap

    YHC pulled up at the stage around 5 o’clock followed closely by Tana and Wet Tap whom looked on with curiosity as I set up and tested the final Thang of the morning. After this Goose and a sore Pope pulled up ready to get another week started. Right before we started stretching Safety valve came rolling up which means St. John’s Place had a strong showing as usual. I guess the Rienzi (30A) clan needed their beauty sleep.

    Warm ups
    SSH 27 count
    Windmills
    Mountain climbers
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Mosey to the coupon corral for some goodies

    YHC decided to continue on with Paradox’s Memorable Men Mondays with a different type of high character man. YHC’s addition to triple M is an ultra marathon running, weight lifting, bow hunter whom’s goal is to be the unobtainable Ultimate Predator. I first heard of this fella while listening to the Joe Rogan Podcast, he has been on the podcast a number of times. Recently YHC started reading his book titled Endure which is an autobiography that shows this dude was a normal guy before he picked up bow hunting then he started training to become the best bow hunter he could be all while having a family, and working a 9 to 5 job. Today he is probably one of the biggest names in bow hunting. His name is Cam Hanes.

    Cam Hanes started his own YouTube channel and one of his programs is titled Run Lift Shoot. He takes different types of people and brings them run a trail up a mountain, brings them back to the gym and to move some weight, and finally brings them to get fitted for a bow and teaches them how to launch arrows at targets. YHC decided we would be doing a F3 version of Run Lift Shoot.

    Thang 1
    Run Indian
    YHC decided we would be doing a Run Indian for the running portion. which was introduced to me by Wet Tap. Basically the lead man calls out an exercise and will complete 10 reps of it. The rest of the pax will complete 5 and will run the rich man loop trail we normally run. The lead man will sprint to catch up and once he gets to the Pax the next lead man will call out an exercise and the process starts over again. This seemed like a good idea until YHC realized that we were moving at Gazelle speed instead of Clydesdales speed. We finished the exercise out with a 150 yard all out sprint to the flag.

    Thang 2
    Coupon Circuit
    After a couple of 10 counts YHC could formulate a sentence again. We would be doing 59 man makers, 59 goblet squats, 59 thrusters, and 60 overhead presses on our lifting portion of the workout. The reasoning behind this was solid, Cam Hanes broke a world record by hitting a ballon with an arrow at 237 yards (59×3)+60=237. I had good intentions but due to time constraints we needed to cut this down. We ended up going with 27 reps which was the number of miles Cam Hanes runs in a day. Even then YHC still had to pull up short on the over head presses to get to our shooting portion of the morning. The entire PAX could have earned the animal shirt with the effort they put forward.

    Thang 3
    Tire toss

    YHC thought about bring a bow and target to do a little shooting this morning but I decided we didn’t need law enforcement called on us this morning. Instead I decided to do an old fashion tire toss. First things first an exercise would be called out and the entire PAX would do 10 reps of the exercise.
    After this the tire tosser would turn around and throw the tire over their head toward a 8 lb maul which acted as our target. The next man up would then lunge walk the distance between target and the tire. We would then complete the buy in exercise as per the amount of lunges completed between maul and tire with some help from YHC. Listed below are the buy in exercises.

    C = coupon swings
    A =American hammers
    M= merkins

    H = hammer curls
    A = Australia sweat Angels
    N = Apollo unos
    E = goosees
    S = scissor kicks

    We completed the buy in for scissor kicks and Pope got to toss his second tire as the clock hit 6 o’clock.

    We hustled back to the flag and had COT and Safety Valve prayed us out. Thanks guy for sticking with me on this one. Y’all made this one fun.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator