Tag: Popeyes

  • Burpee, Merkin, Squat OH mile – from Safety Valve

    It was another cool morning at the stage with 6 of the PAX showing up this early Monday morning. YHC tried to throw the bait out there with a Forrest Gump reference. Who doesn’t love a good Forrest Gump theme? But alas, they are all privy to my ways now… Bait them in and come out with a workout that doesn’t even involve anything in the hype. Hate to see it.

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Mountain climbers
    Toy soldiers
    Imperial walkers
    Willy mays hays
    Wind mills
    Arm circles forward and backward
    Self love

    The thang

    It’s simple. Run three miles, do 60 burpees, 80 merkins and 100 squats.

    Burpee mile – run a mile along rich man’s loop, stop at the previously determined stops (4 total) and do 15 burpees

    Merkin mile – do it again but add 5 to the rep count to make it 20 merkins at each stop

    Squat mile – plan was to make this 25 squats at each stop, but time was going to run short, so an Indian run mile took its place.

    Bonus: Every member of the PAX has his own mile pace. Goose for example, is like Forrest Gump, he just keeps going and never slows. Others, including myself, likes a more leisurely pace. To keep the PAX together, YHC devised a social experiment. At each stop along the mile, whoever made it to the exercise stops and completed the exercise had to hold 6 inches until everyone caught up and finished the exercise. Would Goose slow down to prevent himself from having to do more work? Would the slower members of the PAX speed up to help a Goose in need? I really thought that goose would be holding 6 inches for 3 minutes at each stop, but something miraculous occurred. We kept together where the 6 inch hold rarely happened. YHC thinks most of us would agree we ran faster than we would have if goose wasn’t there. A humble goose would never admit he ran slower than he wanted so the PAX would stay together. It was a beautiful thing.

    Finished with 1 minute of holding six inches while goose told a miraculous story that involved a man that was well endowed with more than 6 inches.

    COT, announcements, prayers lifted up, goose prayed us out.

    Always a pleasure to lead. Thanks for waking up, showing up, and pushing for a better version of yourself

  • We Are All Goose – from America’s Best

    “This is important.” Parting words from a random barefoot downranger (Squanto) on a random Thursday weeks ago.
    Those who agree also know what we owe to our Site Q, the O.G.
    When YHC heard Goose was moving, I began some soul searching (but mostly Internet searching) to figure out some way to keep him with us.
    Inspired by Paradox’s face-swap chops, YHC was looking for a life-size Goose-Goose faceswap. While the Internet provided what was wanted, it also provided what was (unknowingly) needed. In the search results, an old blogpost. Four words:
    “We Are All Goose”
    And with that, the beatdown was born.

    Negative DukeRider! The pattern is full. Get your landing gear down and roll that beauti-
    HOLD up, this is “We are all Goose,” not “We are all Dox”
    (Mental note for future beatdown)

    Warmarama amongst the swarm:
    SSH, windmills, arm circles, self love, maybe more, nobody’s reading this part anyway.

    “We are All Goose” lists 4 characteristics of Top Gun’s Goose. YHC translated each virtue to our fearless leader, and we began to cultivate our Goosiness.

    1. He talks the talk.

    This was originally “he’s the class clown,” but the spirit of it is that Goose ensures what he says is correct and inspiring. The exicon provided us Thang 1 here, with “Coach”:
    Thruple up. Man 1 does a pull-up and holds up position while Man 2 runs around the outbuilding. Meanwhile, Man 3 is Coach (Goose) and provides vocal support. Moroccan Night Clubs were added to Coach position for comedic impact.

    2. He’s got his friends backs

    True of Top Gun Goose and undeniably true of F3 Goose. And for Thang 2 the Exicon gives us
    “Tammy Wynette” (Stand by Your Man)

    Partner up. Man1 stands next to Man2 in high plank. Standing partner squats in unison with ground partner’s merkins. Switch places every 10. YHC decided to show some merkin-mercy here and changed it curls and leg lifts for a bit.

    3. He’s a family man

    Thang 3– Here YHC bastardized the Uptown 50 and fused it with Growing Pains (look them up, they’re in there!)

    MOT was typical parental nocturnal motions: Zombie walking, zombie crawling, and crab walk (result of the ninja move required to escape a sleeping kid’s bed)
    30 Little boys at the first stop, 30 big boys at the second, 30 Manmakers back at the start.
    The exact form of the zombie crawl is still unknown, but depending on the specific technique used, it will abrade part of your legs off.
    T-claps to Dox for suffering through his most hated exercises. Props to Pope for his music appreciation.

    Having raised boys to men, now we pivot to raising girls…
    Princess Tea Party (“This is in the Exicon”)
    Partner up, merkins facing one another, high five ya boy at the top.
    Then, back-to-back partner squats.

    (During this portion of the beatdown, Enron and YHC performed an exercise which will henceforth be know as the “Look Away!” and will never be spoken of again.)

    Which brings us to the final Goosy quality:

    4. He plays volleyball with his shirt on

    Shirtless Maverick plays volleyball IN JEANS. Goose keeps it real, is probably then best athlete, and doesn’t have anything to prove to anybody. Dude walks the walk. With quiet confidence.

    PAX divided into 3 teams. While one takes a run, the other 2 teams play volleyball. The catch: anytime the ball hits the ground, BOTH teams do 3 Goosies. Winner stays on and loser runs.

    YHC opened his big fat stupid mouth on one of these return runs:
    “Come on Goose, open up that stride.”
    Big mistake. Never challenge a Goose. YHC is still winded from trying to keep up.

    One last curveball, because when you’re a family man, just when you think you’ve earned a break, your kid says “Hold me.”
    Mountain climbers while Fleetwood Mac’s “Hold Me” plays. Coupon curl with each “hold me.”

    Back to the flag for Top Gun Anthem and Goose tailgate reveal.

    COT, Goose prayed us out.

    This one was for Goose, but it’s really for all of our F3 PAX. I’m inspired by every one of you. This is important.

    SYITG,
    America’s Best

  • DIRTY PAX – from Yankee Joe

    As we near Christmas, you’ll find lost hooligan souls across the world celebrating the gift-giving game of White Elephant, sometimes referred to as Dirty Santa. The men of F3 Thibodaux are no less hooligans, and as such, seven PAX posted at the Den for our first Dirty Pax Exicon Gift Exchange.

    Cardinal, Goose, Pope, Lil’ Cuz, Goldilox, and Honeysuckle all deserved much worse than coal in their stockings. They needed the humility that can only be forged by cringe worthy Christmas songs.
    —————————————
    Warmarama
    The usual suspects with two Christmassy baubles tossed in…

    The Randy – from “A Christmas Story” when lilttle Randy’s coat was so big, he couldn’t move his arms – thus arms straight out to side, palms down, flapping 6 to 12 inches repeatedly.

    Tempo Jump Squats doing our best to mimic Santa jumping down and then up out of a chimney
    —————————————-
    Dirty PAX Setup

    – Pax in a circle with a pile of “gifts” in the middle. Each gift is an exercise.
    – Pax 1 chooses gift, reveals to PAX; PAX then completes exercise
    – Pax 2 chooses to steal Pax 1’s exercise or choose from the gift pile an so on
    – If a Pax gets his gift stolen, he needs to pick a new one, which the PAX then completes

    Rules:
    – Gifts can be stolen only twice before it is locked in
    – For each exercise, the PAX completes the chosen gift AMRAP for two minutes to a carefully curated musical stink bomb of YHC’s choice.

    Objective:
    – The gift/exercise you end up with is the exercise you will do AMRAP for the last five minutes of the beatdown. So, being strategic about which exercise you hold at the end is essential.

    NOTE: This did not happen. YHC was having too much fun with the (awful) playlist along with the ridiculousness of two-minute HIITs.

    Potential Gifts:

    burpees
    mtn climbers
    SSH
    gas pumpers
    J-Lo’s
    jump squats
    apollo ono’s
    high knee imperial walkers (for speed)
    shark hops – plank jack on each hop (3 per rep)
    25 yrd suicide ascending and descending
    hand release merkins
    25 yard bear crawl/crab walk back
    T-Bomb
    sweat angels
    The Bruce and the Cait
    Goosey’s
    hydraulic humpers
    sandstorm
    Jiminy Crickets
    star crunches

    =================================

    How It Went Down (in no particular order)
    ——————————————–
    Gift: The Bruce and The Cait (Merkin with one leg crossed over the other; switch legs at bottom of merkin)

    Song: “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber (nothing like serenading “shawty” on Christmas)

    *You will find further commentary at the end of the blast
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Hand Release Merkins

    Song: “Christmas In Hollis” by Run D.M.C.
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Shark Hops (like a dolphin hop, but on each “hop” do a plank jack; the dolphin hop is dead)

    Song: “Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer” by Elmo and Patsy
    ——————————————–
    GIft: Goosey’s (bonnie blair into a jump squat; after the shark hops, these were especially miserable)

    Song: “What You Want for Christmas” by Quad City D.J.s (this is a real banger and should be on everyone’s Christmas playlist)
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Sandstorm (full vertical, jump repeatedly with arms straight up)

    Song: As Lil’ Cuz and others pointed out, the song should have been Sandstorm by Darude, but alas, ‘tain’t the season. So, “Drummer Boy” by Justin Bieber and (wait for it) Busta Rhymes
    ——————————————–
    Gift: J-Lo’s

    Song: “Last Christmas” by Wham (a guilty pleasure of many, most notably, Montana)
    ——————————————–
    Gift: T-Bomb (crab position, shoot legs straight, feet together; then legs straight and spread, then feet back together and legs straight, then back to crab)

    Song: “¿Dónde Está Santa Claus?” By Augie Rios

    *This gift was intended to be the exercise of Cardinal’s dreams. It ended up being a nightmare for all of us.
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Hydraulic Humpers (monkey humper, at the NADIR of the humper, double genuflect, then finish the humper)

    Song: “Holiday Road” by Lindsey Buckingham

    *There was initial debate between El Ganzo and YHC over the definition of ‘nadir’, however, Honeysuckle spoke his truth and the matter was settled. Then there was debate about the mechanics of the humper -again – from the head honko, which then opened the gates for the rest of the PAX to start honking.

    Once we started and achieved some sort of rhythm, the mechanics fell into place. These were brilliant…with the genuflects at the NADIR of the humper, your glutes and quads are engaged the entire time. The hydraulic humper brought us to the NADIR of the beatdown. I wasn’t sure we would recover. The nadir line is that we need to see these again.
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Apollo Ono’s

    Song: “All I Really Want for Christmas” by Lil’ John feat. Kool Aid Man
    ——————————————–

    There was a last gift, but I can’t remember what it was. What’s important is that it was accompanied by the musical stylings of “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” by NYSNC.

    YHC called off the torture (the exercises were kinda tough too) with three minutes remaining. To finish, the PAX did 25 yard suicides in increments of five, then once at the 25-yard mark, crab walk back to start.

    COT and Pope prayed us out.

    Though my timing was off a bit on this one, I couldn’t catch my breath from laughing so hard…well, that and the Goosey’s.

    ===========================

    A Quick Cup of Jeaux:

    I just assume the conversation between Bieber and his producers went like this:

    Producers: Hey Lil’ J, we were thinking…well…in consideration of the fact that you sing like a girl, and that you have blond streaks in your hair, and that you wear low hip, tapered, skinny jeans, and that you’re like 12 years old…

    Bieber: Guiltyyyyy!

    Producers: Yeahhh…Well, we’d like you to change some of your lyrics to stay more on brand.

    Bieber: Ummm…ok. Should I start lifting weights? Wear straight fit jeans?

    Producers: Soo yeah…actualy, we’d like you to replace the word “girl” in your songs with “shawty.”

    Bieber: Aww yeahhh…Hizzy to the yizzy!

    Producers: Also, any chance you’d be willing to drive a Prius?

  • ADVENTure Wreath 2: Cawn all Ye Faithful – from Paradox

    Here at F3 on da Bayou traditions abound new and old
    And you’ll need more than Frozen grass and dank gloves to scare the bold
    We’ve got Journeys to Bethlehem with starry coupon skies while Santa Valve and his McLevens ignore your cries
    Frozen war stories on Tap at the Peltch with a sweet smell of Air biscuits no freshener can squelch
    Smooths at the stage so the cheetahs can roam as We wait on the porch for #Tanacomehome
    The ageless wonders of Rienzi plan beatdowns where shoes are nice and you know Diddles making his list and checking it twice.
    Thus yHC found his old beatdown with all four candles and added some new flames to prevent love handles.

    Duke! Too early for eggnog !
    roll the bean footage!!

    9 pax rolled in ready for ADVENTure with Pope and Goose helping YHC put the finishing touches on the lazer light cawnz.
    Even an illusion of warmth was appreciated at a brisk 36 degrees!

    F3 Thibodaux lore dictates an ADVENTure wreath (TM) to have 4 components :
    1: Heavy Coupon work
    2: Matt Mahers Advent of Christmas Album( highly recommended)
    3: Pyrotechnics
    4 : 1 pax complaining about cold grass

    We had 1-3 all ready to go but YHC was concerned about #4 until our local clergymen arrived a tad late. There…now we have all 4!!
    let’s get after it

    Standard Warmup where we actually have to raise our core temperature and maybe the first beatdown of the year without bug spray. We couldn’t give Wet Tap the sweet victory of groans from Saturdays Iron Tap Challenge so we suffered in cold silence during the regular fare plus heavy MCs.

    Bumper Mosey where I complimented Valves neck gaiter and he silently asked me to never speak again. It’s ok we are in a “rough patch “ but nothing a Panera gift card can’t fix.

    Field update *
    Continued Coupon Vandalism was discovered at the bumper!!
    Two more coupon soldiers lost in senseless violence RIP

    As Q during this discovery I’ve compiled a list of ppl most likely to harm an F3 coupon ..

    Top Suspect list :
    -CrossFit CrabTrap
    -Cardinal
    -CrossFit HomeBrew
    -Cardinal
    -Thib Regional Wellness Center
    -Cardinal
    -some misguided youths

    Investigation pending …

    Back at the stage before launching into the wreath we had to
    1. Clear our heart
    2 make straight the path

    Cawns were lined up on the far side of the stage and Pax were split into teams. Goal was to run to cawns, 3 burpees , Nur back and put your cawns in a skrait line
    It was during this explanation that YHCs vernacular hit 9.8 Homers on the redneck meter and only Gooses deep beatdown knowledge could translate what was about to happen. (Cone=Comb=Cawn)
    Ended up 14-14 tie and our path was nice and strait. Sorry they didn’t have your fancy “speech therapy” at the Homer dollar general.

    Da main Thang

    Setup: 4 cones spread out on picnic tables and one larger in center lit by an assortment of family flashlights and headlamps. This works best if your 2.0s ask why you are taking their headlamp and you explain to them it’s to keep your friends out of the fartsack. Shortly followed by an invite from your M to consider p90x again.

    Rifle Carry to first corner

    1st week – Hope/Prophecy candle
    “Hope for Everyone “ Matt Maher (Advent of Christmas )
    Hold coupon chest level w high knees
    Goblet sqat on “Hope “
    YHC hoped the goblet squats will cure genetic no acetol but maybe next year.

    Partner up for 100 thrusters
    P1 Heels to Heaven
    10 Thrusters each round then flip flop

    Rifle carry to next cone

    2nd week – Peace
    Bethlehem candle

    1st corner , 2 donkey kicks 4 merkins
    rifle carry to next cone and increase by 2:4 until complete with 8 DK/16 merkins
    This explanation was met with so much silence and eye contact avoidance YHC felt like the Salvation Army bell ringer at Walmart.

    A few 10 counts later

    Rifle carry to next corner

    Week 3
    Joy/Shepard Candle

    Leave the 99 , save the 1 .

    Start in circle
    Send 1 pax to the stage for 10 step ups and he selects an ab exercise while he is gone. AMRAP till he returns.
    several ab exercises while taking turns rescuing the 1
    Highlighted by JLos and WW3 sit-ups (Yote has started an unstoppable trend…smh)

    Rifle carry to next corner

    Week 4 Love/ Angel candle
    “He Shall reign Forevermore” Matt Maher
    Coupon hops And Burpees on Reign
    Great prep for skiiing season.

    Finished up at the Purity Candle
    With Mary
    Leg raises, LBCs, AHs

    COT and Lox prayed us out

    Grateful for you guys and the stability that God provides with our brotherhood.

    Wrapped up with a solemn sweeping of the remnants of our inanimate coupon brethren.
    Good night sweet coupon princes.
    You calloused our hands but softened our hearts.

    You’re 5000 candles in the wind..

    SYITG
    PDox

  • Abstravaganza – from Safety Valve

    It was a chilly morning at The Den. Seven of the PAX decided they were up for a little cold weather. Looking at the forecast, YHC knew we had to continue moving to stay warm. This, coupled with a Smooth request for an entire ab workout on the previous beatdown day, YHC came up with the following:

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Imperial Walkers
    High knees
    Butt kicks
    Mountain climbers
    Arms circles forward and backward

    Thang 1

    6 rounds of Dora – partner 1 does exercise, partner 2 runs around civic center, then switch, before changing places each time partners have to do a buy in of 3 burpees.
    100 crunchy frogs
    200 Freddy mercs
    300 LBCs
    400 Penguins
    200 crunchy frogs
    300 Freddy mercs

    To be honest, YHC thought this would take longer than what it did. The PAC breezed through core work. So YHC just added more and more exercises until 10 minutes remained.

    Thang 2
    Burp Mlcleven = 11s with burpees and merkins. Brought us to the end of time perfectly, even though AB continued to want more and tried to convince the PAX there was still 14 minutes remaining.

    COT, announcements, prayer request, and pope prayed us out.

    YHC never misses a chance to grant a workout request from another member of the PAX. Thank you Smooth for the idea. Appreciate everyone for getting up and showing up. Always great to lead this group of men.

  • Journey to Bethlehem (Remix) – from Enron

    While pondering what to put together for today’s beatdown, YHC went through the rolodex of previous Qs and decided to pull one out from this time last year and add a few tweaks to it. Since the PAX has grown significantly in the last year, the belief was there would not be too many people that attended last year and this year. Fortunately, according to records, this assumption was correct and only Goose and Paradox had to run through this one twice.
    After arriving to the Stage to an awaiting Paradox, 6 more pax trickled in. Some chatter ensued around Run Cajun Run’s arrival early next year and the potential modifications to the platform. It looks like there may be some exciting changes in the works. Looking forward to seeing what that may be.
    Warmarama:
    SSH, Windmills, AC, Cherry Pickers, MNCs, Willie Mays Hayes, IW, high Knees, butt kicks, bumper mosey to pick up coupons.
    The Thang: Journey to Bethlehem (Remix)
    We tend to read in the Bible the journey to Bethlehem every year but how often is it discussed just how dangerous and difficult that journey had to be. The trip was approximately 90 miles between Nazareth and Bethlehem that would have taken place most likely over 10 days. A pregnant Mary, and husband Joseph traveled this distance, outside, while moving through the Jordan river, through the hills of Jerusalem, and battling animals, potential sickness, and weather the entire time. This is how the following was developed.
    We picked up coupons and moseyed to the beginning of rich man’s loop, where 15ish light poles are spaced about 40 yards apart.
    YHC instructed the PAX that there would be 3 alternating methods of carrying the coupon between the poles as follows:
    Mary- carry at stomach height, as if pregnant
    Joseph- On the shoulder, as if carrying wineskins filled with water
    Donkey – Rifle carry as if you were the donkey and carrying Mary

    Each light post would have a “hazard” of which Mary and Joseph could have encountered that included an exercise. Most exercises were performed OYO except for a couple. The following were performed at each light pole with the alternating carry methods (Mary, Joseph, Donkey) in between.

    Light Pole “obstacles/hazards”:
    Climb the hills outside Jerusalem – 30 Mountain climbers
    Walk through the Jordan River – Lunge walk with coupon to the next pole
    Tame your donkey – 10 Jack ass Webbs- This ended up being only a donkey kick
    Be strong enough to fight off animals #1 – 40 Coupon Curls (this triggered all of Paradox’s bear knowledge to be revealed)
    Sleep on your back on the ground – 25 coupon presses
    Lift Mary on the donkey – 20 Goblet Squats
    Carry the water overhead – 15 OHP
    Outrun the animals – Sprint with coupon
    Move through the jungle/heavily forested Jordan Valley – 15 Jungle Boy Squats
    Wear your big boy pants – 20 Big Boys
    Battle Sickness – 5 Burpees
    Hold the weight of the world on your shoulders – 10 Squats with Coupon on Shoulder
    Turned away at the Inn – Bear crawl halfway to light poll and crab walk back
    Have baby Jesus! – 50 LBCs

    Thang 2: the Abvent Calendar

    YHC put a bag full of 25 Ab exercises in a bag and we went around the circle pulling one and performing that exercise.
    Thanks again to Goose for the amusing “camping” story during our 2 minute 6” hold to distract us. This story needs to be revisited. We ended up making it around the circle of 8 PAX one time before calling time.

    The following were the days of the Abvent Calendar:
    50 LBCs
    25 BBSU
    20 WW1 Sit Ups
    1 Minute 6” hold
    2 Minute 6” Hold
    50 Penguins
    25 Dolphin Hops
    Alphabet
    20 Dr. W’s
    25 Freddie Mercs
    20 Nolan Ryans
    20 V-Ups
    25 Heals to Heaven
    20 Hello Dolly’s
    20 Gas Pumps
    15 Leg Raises
    1 – 10 count
    10 6” scissor kicks
    10 Superman’s
    10 Scuba Steve’s
    25 LBCs
    10 BBSU
    1 – 10 count
    10 crunchy frogs
    10 Gas Pumps

    COT and Goose prayed us out. As always, enjoyed being in the gloom with these guys.

    Till next time,
    Enron

  • F4—Faith, Fitness, Fellowship…& Football, by Coyote – from Goose

               The morning’s first challenge to meet the Pax and YHC was the wet, and surprisingly active, ant piles. More than half of us were bitten before the warmups. YHC lead the Pax in unusually long warmups then we headed over to the Lower Field for what we knew would be a messy, muddy Football game. YHC announced that each turnover was ten Merkins, and each Touchdown was a series of Burpees. The offense started by doing five and the defense ten. With every next Touchdown, five Burpees would be added to each. The two teams were named by the color of their flag, blue vs. yellow. Team Yellow consisted of Goose, Lil Cuz, Goldilocks, Picadilly, Duke, and Smooth Operator, while team Blue had Enron, Paradox, Pope, Popeye, and YHC. Team Blue started on offense because of low numbers. The team’s possession switched after a failed fourth-down conversion attempt. Team Yellow took a 7-0 lead after a great catch by Goose. After another Blue turnover, Goose made another amazing Touchdown catch, and Yellow took a 14-0 lead. Pope threw an Interception, and Smooth took it from there with a great diving catch, and a Touchdown catch. Yellow had a 21-0 lead when Blue finally scored a Touchdown on a great throw from Popeye and catch from Paradox. Goldilocks said, “Aw man, we didn’t shut them out.” Enron and Paradox had to leave before it was over, and Lil Cuz went to blue team. The final score was 28-7 Yellow, and everyone’s combined total of exercises was 675 Burpees and 400 Merkins. YHC counted a total 16 cut-slips, half of them being Smooth’s, who shot out mud when he fell. We all had a great time, and we all went home dirtier then we’d been in a long, long time.                   

  • Exicon Top Cover – from Honeysuckle

    YHQ arrived early to test out the “mintron” speaker’s ability to broadcast from the Lion to the trees and was disappointed. Fortunately, several PAX arrived at that moment at the same time. YJ continues to impress with his parking skills. Significant amounts of calf stretching ensued. Valve arrived just in time for warmarama.

    Warmarama:
    SSH, Windmills, Willie Mays Hayes, Imperial Walkers, Toy Soldiers, High Knees, Butt Kickers

    Thang 1:
    As this beatdown was coming together, the theme seemed to be YHC making slight modifications to some other beatdown or Thang that someone else did. So the theme today would be covers. A lot of time, the band doing the cover tries to get as close to the original as possible. But sometimes they make it their own, and this latter approach would guide our exercises today.

    First, since we do 6 minutes of Mary quite a bit, this was changed to be 15 minutes of Joseph. The Joseph in this case is Joseph Pilates, who put a lot of focus into the brain-muscle connection. For the exercises we’re used to, this is no big deal. But some movements, especially fine movements or new movements, we aren’t used to them and they can be a challenge.

    America’s Best previously mentioned that the “Hundred” was in the exicon, so YHC scrubbed the exicon to find other “official” F3 exercises that were similar to pilates exercises. Here is YHC’s mapping, which is the set of exercises done today:

    Exicon -> Pilates

    Hundred -> Hundred. On your six, pump arms up and down 100 times. Feet on the ground, abs engaged.

    WWI Situps -> Roll up

    Alphabet -> Leg circles. The first 13 letters done on the right leg, unless you are left handed. The second 13 letters done on the other leg. It was good to brush up on the alphabet also.

    Boat/Canoe -> Double leg stretch

    Bay city scissors -> Scissors (w/o side scissor)

    Criss-cross -> Freddy Mercurys

    Superman -> Superman

    Ab stretch -> Bottom of pickle pounder

    Cooler -> Side lying leg raises (w/o knee to chest). These were extra rough.

    ? -> Figure 4 stretch

    At this point it was noted by Yankee Joe that we really don’t do much stretching. Goose’s opinion was that stretching was supposed to be done on your own time, and that was that.

    Thang 2:
    YHC still regrets missing the Iron PAX challenge done at the track this year. So to sort of replicate it, the PAX were to do a Route 66 around the civic center. Exercises were to be done at the front and rear of the building. Starting at the front, one burpee, one squat, and one merkin were to be performed, then run to the back and do two of each exercise. Then run around to the front and do 3 of each exercise, and so on, until at the last stop 11 of each exercise are completed.

    We often wonder, how many [fill in exercise] did we do? With route 66, there are multiple ways to get this number.

    1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10+11 = 66

    Or

    (1+11) + (2+10) + (3+9) + (4+8) + (5+7) + 6 =
    12+12+12+12+12+6
    = 60 +6 = 66

    Or

    Sum of 1 to N is N*(N+1)/2, so for N=11 we have 11*12/2 = 11*6 = 66.

    Or

    Just make an inference as to why the exercise is named Route 66.

    During this exercise, we listened to several covers and also an original song that possibly has a more famous cover.

    Rolling Stones covering Route 66 (orig: Nat King Cole)

    Rascall Flatts covering Life is a Highway (orig: Tom Cochrane. Nod to Smooth’s Disney beatdown)

    Lenny Kravitz covering American Woman (orig: Guess Who)

    Bruce Springsteen singing Blinded By the Light (covered by Manfred Mann. Wrapped up like a douche?)

    Van Halen covering You Really Got Me (orig: the Kinks)

    Thang 3
    Just 3-4 minutes left, which was the perfect amount of time for some VO2 max work. Enron several months ago had a sequence that worked on this, so we were going to burn it out today. The exicon word is “Ciabatta” (hence the bread), known to everyone else as Tabata, which is a specific type of high intensity interval training (HIIT) in which you work for 20 seconds and rest for only 10 seconds. It provides most of the fitness benefits of cardio, without having to spend all that time doing cardio. According to google, the only negative of Tabata is that it isn’t much fun.

    PAX would sprint back and forth between the lion and the trees during the work period, and do whatever they felt like during the 10 seconds rest. Since minitron would not be loud enough for the PAX to hear the start/stop from everywhere on the course, YHC brought a whistle as a backup and this is what was used to demarcate start and stop. The PAX completed let’s call it 5 rounds of work before it was time to recover.

    As Goose and Pope had to leave early this morning, we counted 6 PAX. Yankee Joe prayed us out.

    YHC appreciates the PAX diving deep into the exicon today and dealing with YHC’s strange cadences at times. But we made it through. And YJ was not only able to pull into his parking spot, he was also able to pull out of his parking spot. No reverse required. No other PAX who drove today could say the same.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • PAX Turkana: A Thanksgiving Reforus – from Yankee Joe

    The following is a refurbished version of Thanksgiving 2022…

    A record seven PAX showed up at the Stage….wait…no that was from Thanksgiving last year. This year, 11 PAX posted at The Den, and that wasn’t even a record! I’m tellin’ ya…this year’s PAX draft class is legendary. Anyway, Thanksgiving is a holiday that often gets overshadowed. As such, in the chaos leading up to Christmas, we can forget to take a moment to be thankful.

    As my children adorably sang (sang is a strong word) Thanksgiving songs during their Pre-K performances last week, one verse stuck out to me:

    “I’m a little pilgrim on the run, here is my knife and here is my gun. When I go a-hunting, hear my shout- Deer and turkey better watch out!”

    I pondered about what the turkey thought about all this? I asked myself, who will speak for the Turkey? I’ll tell you who…the turkeys of F3 Thibodaux…oh and also one Goose. We would need to think like a turkey, sound like a turkey, move like a turkey, and fly like a turkey.

    Wait, can turkeys fly? We would find out together. You know what they say, “Turkeys of a feather Jurp off together.”

    “Nobody says that.”

    “Shut your pie hole, Duke and focus on the turducken.”
    —————————————-

    Warmarama with the regs, followed by a civic center mosey.

    Today, we’re all a bunch of turkeys. But I’m proud of that fact. There are haters everywhere. They say that we’re delicious. They mock us saying gobble gobble. Their kids trace their hands on construction paper and slap some feet on them and say, “Look mommy, I made a turkey.” Like it’s a genuine Turcasso. Sorry kid, your teacher found the turkey hand template online because she’s bored and hates her job. However, she’s pissed that you used so much freakin’ Elmer’s glue when all you need is a dot. Just a dot. It’s a googly eye for crying out loud. C’mon Tana.

    I could deal with all of this if it weren’t for the worst thing. They say we can’t fly. Bobby Joe, Jessie Pearl, and Popeye call us flightless birds. Flightless! Oh yeah, Bubba Sue, how the hell did I get up in this tree? Well, I say horsefeathers. They think they’re the cat’s pajamas, drinking all that giggle juice; They don’t know their onions. Until now, we’ve made a right pig’s ear of things. But that ends today. Today, we will show them a thing or two about a thing or two. We’re going to learn to fly.

    Welcome to Butterball Flight Academy.
    ——————————————–

    Lesson 1: Arm and Leg Warm-up
    To the tune of “Learning to Fly” by Tom Petty, these parakeets did:

    – 1st verse – Shoulder taps; Refrain (or chorus? Asking for an optometrist friend) – Merkins
    – 2nd verse – Shoulder taps; Reforus – Mountain climbers
    – Bridge – chill
    – 3rd verse – squats; Extended reforus – Flying squirrels

    *YHC didn’t fully understand what a flying squirrel entailed. Thank goodness we had a G- oose to set us on the right path.
    ——————————————–

    Lesson 2: Coordination and flight training – Turkeys are not completely flightless and can fly in short bursts. To work on this facet of training, the flocked did:

    – Flying nuns with forward arm circles through lunges to sidewalk (approx. 20 yards)
    – Jump squats X25 (at this point, YHC was questioning his…well everything)
    – Mario punch skips back to start (apparently Geese just skip/run…weird)
    – Bonnie Blair’s x25 (yeah, Lil’ Cuz, 25:2)
    ———————————————

    Lesson 3: You Must Focus: Sometimes You Must Think Like a Crane, not a Turkey.
    To the tune of “You’re the Best” from Karate Kid (Part 1, of course), these flamingos did:

    – 1st verse – SSH; Refrain – alternating crane kicks
    – 2nd verse – SSH; Refrain – alternating crane kicks
    – Bridge – Speed Monkey humpers; Refrain – alternating crane kicks
    – 3rd verse – SSH; Refrain – alternating crane kicks

    *By the end, it is impossible to describe whatever the hell any of us were doing. They weren’t crane kicks. BUT WAIT! Is that Ralph Macchio out there? No…it’s America’s Best! Oh how I wish we would’ve had someone recording his perfect form.
    —————————————–

    Intermission: You can only push a bunch of turkeys so far without giving them some reward. So, we took a break and like any good family thanksgiving, we had a pot-luck Mary session.

    – Dilly: Leg raises

    – Honeysuckle: Freddy Mercs

    – Lil’ Cuz: Dolphin Hops (like a real son of turkey, but he misses Paradox, so who can really blame him…I can.)

    – America’s Best: At first squats, but then someone (probably Lil’ Cuz) threw some shade about it not being an ab exercise, so AB, without missing a beat and putting on his Dad voice, said, “Ok fine. V-ups 3:1!” And we did 60.

    – Popeye: He pondered for a moment, then called a lap around the civic center. At this point, Goose suggested to YHC that the concept of Mary may have been woefully unexplained to the most recent draft class.

    – Wet Tap: Bird dawwwwwgs

    – Pope: American hammers

    *YHC had to cut the potluck short due to selective hearing. A note about MARY: There’s something about her. Abs in just seven minutes. NOT six, I said seven. Step into my office. You’re X@#$& FIRED. MARY is abs.
    ——————————————

    Lesson 4: We Fly!

    – Sprint to sidewalk with tucked wings, intermittently screeching “gobble, gobble.”
    – Nur sprint back with tucked wings, screeching “elbbog, elbbog.”
    – Repeato three times.
    ——————————————-

    Lesson 5: Stabilizers
    Our wings are curved, our tail feathers are straight up, our bones are dense. We are fluffy, not fat. As such, our last lesson dealt with an oft overlooked facet of turkey flight training…stabilizers.

    AND you’re all a bunch of soft, entitled turkeys. You don’t deserve to be comfortable…ever. You think I enjoyed hiding this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my tailfeathers…oh man…sorry. I get mixed up sometimes.

    To the tune of Gobble Gobble (by Matthew West…it’s a good one), these cockatoos engaged in a combination of elbow plank holds, J-Lo’s (low plank, alternate hips touching ground), and pickle pounders (low plank with hip thrust down and up).

    Together, the J-Lo’s and the Pickle Pounder are called the ARod. But for obvious reasons, this name is no longer appropriate. For the consideration of F3 Thibodaux, I offer the J-Lo Pickle Gobbler. It’ll catch on. (I wrote the same thing last year. It didn’t catch on.)

    – 1st verse – Elbow plank
    – Pickle pounders on “gobble”
    – Reforus – J-Lo’s
    – 2nd verse – Elbow plank
    – Pickle pounders on “gobble”
    – Extended Reforus – J-Lo’s
    ————————————————–

    Encore! Three minutes remaining
    YHC deliberated with great pains on which Karate Kid song to use for the Crane Kick lesson. It came down to “You’re the Best” and “Glory of Love.” The former won out by virtue of faster cadence.

    So, to the tune of “Glory of Love,” we held Mission Impossible plank for three minutes until time called at 6 am.

    COT and Piccadilly prayed us out. As always, I am thankful for F3, the men of the Thibodaux FLAX, and most of all the values that we share.

    SYITG and Gobble Gobble,

    Turkey Jeaux

  • Disney Zumba – from Smooth Operator

    11/21/23

    Attendance
    Pope
    safety valve
    Wet tap
    Americas best
    Goose
    Enron
    Lil cuz
    Honeysuckle

    YHC slept through 2 alarms this morning and woke up at 4:50 which pretty much set the tone for the beatdown. At 5:10 YHC showed up and didn’t see the Turt wielding Safety Valve, which caused YHC to send Goose to his house for a music box. 2 minutes later Safety Valve showed up and Goose showed back up at 5:16 on SSH 18.

    YHC recently had the privilege to take his family to Disney World. With all the stuff my family had been through in the last 4 months, I figured it was worth a shot to try and capture a little bit of happiness from the happiest place on earth. YHC has a love hate relationship with Disney. I don’t mind the drinks and food that they sell there even though it is more than double what a meal should cost, but YHC’s family loves going and I’m not going to stop them if I can help it. YHC needed a couple weeks to let the idea of this beatdown mature before I was ready to bring this joy to the PAX. Alright let’s get after it.

    Warmarama
    SSH
    Wind mills
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Mosey to coupon corner for some 35 lb dance partners.

    Thang 1-10
    A few weeks into YHC’s F3 experience, Goose shared a beatdown with the PAX which involves nothing but music exercises and burpees. We did over 200 burpees that day and I thought that was the coolest idea and I developed a love for the burpees that day. Well due to YHC’s experience at Disney and this very fond memorable beatdown, I decided to stick these two in a blender and YHC’s version of Disney Zumba was what came out. Alright let’s get after it.

    The 1st song was meant to be an additional warm up due to a relatively short warmarama. The song was Poco Loco from the Pixar movie Coco. The Pax did mountain climbers for the duration and A-rods (J-lo and pickle pounder) on the trigger words Poco Loco and Mi amor. The Pax knocked this out with relative ease and looked to be hungry for more.

    The next song on the agenda was from Mulan named Make a man out of you. Naturally the duration workout was Manmakers and the trigger exercise was goblet squats. Our trigger words for this song were Huns, son, boy, Mr. and man.

    Song 3 was surface pressure from Encanto. For this song the Pax switched from high, middle, and low Al gore squats each time there was a lyrical break in the song. Our trigger exercise was Bobby Hurleys each time the words pressure or surface came about which happened to be a good bit.

    Our next song I started feeling the Pax giving me some icy stares. The song name was Frozen heart from the hot movie Frozen. The duration exercise was Side straddle hops although there was not many SSH due to the amount of trigger exercises completed. The trigger exercises was goose’s and our trigger words were frozen, cold, icy, basically anything that the Pax determined to represent cold. I’m pretty sure everybody thought this one was cool.

    Next we stayed on theme and did another song from Frozen 2 named Lost in the woods. Our duration exercise was holding 6” and our trigger exercise would be leg raises. Our trigger words were go, gone, lost, catch, chasing.

    The next song , Zero to Hero, comes from Hercules. Each time there was a lyrical break we would switch from high plank to low plank.

    YHC is a big fan of this next movie, if I had to pick a favorite princess movie it would be Moana and Shiny our featured song is a good one. Our duration exercise was Apollo onos and we did burpees for our trigger exercise. The trigger words were shiny, glam, treasure, sparkle, glitter basically anything to do with a shiny. We basically did 3 minutes of burpees once this one was finished.

    The next one is not as well known as the rest on this list. It’s all right from the movie Soul is another good song. Our duration exercise was coupon crunches and our trigger exercise was WW3 sit ups. The triggers were it’s all right and soul. We did a lot of ww3 sit ups.

    YHC couldn’t pass up the Jungle Book Bare necessities since Wet Tap was really looking forward to it. We did Bonnie Blair’s for duration and burpees for a trigger. Our trigger words were Bare, Bear, Bees, Honey, and Paw. We didn’t do many Bonnie Blair’s.

    Our last song which was supposed to be engrained in the Pax’s brains was It’s a small world. We did penguins for duration and WW2 sit ups whenever we heard the worlds it’s a small world in all languages. This seemed to baffle the Pax but we ended up getting whistle bit on 0600 before we left the English language.

    After this we circled up and did COT and prayed out
    Thanks to the Pax who stuck with me. I half expected people to walk out on this one. All in all those who came, put in work, and were probably sore the next morning. Mission accomplished.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator