F3 New Orleans

Tag: Picadilly

  • Just Do Stuff for 40 minutes – from Yankee Joe

    YHC has been called many things in his life. Some have said he’s stubborn. Others have said he’s a bit arrogant. Not a few folks have made the outlandish claim that YHC tends to be melodramatic…perhaps even moody. Still others would even go so far as to note YHC sucks at maff.

    Regardless of what these peasants may say, I am not any of these things and the very fact that such atrocious slander would be heaped on my flawless purveyance of righteousness is nothing short of Paradox-level hypocrisy. After all, Enron, 3.8 lbs + 3.8 lbs = 10 lbs. I have spoken.

    How does this translate into a beatdown? Your guess is as good as mine. Take a little bit of stubborn cockiness, a heaping tablespoon of dramatic (if not grumpy) flare, and a complete mockery of Euclid’s legacy, and you have whatever the hell this morning was.

    For context, as we approach the completion of our second week with the May Challenge, point totals like 1,000 have taken on special significance. The men in Cleveland are no dummies. There is no easy way or even loop hole to racking up points. So, this morning was supposed to be a frontal assault on that hill.
    —————————————

    The idea was that running quarter mile distances in an 8 minute pace (2 minutes), followed by 1 minute of exercises, aiming for at least 45 points (merkins, BBS, coupon curls, and/or pullups), one could – in fully ungrounded theory – achieve 1,000 points in 40 minutes. The breakdown is below:

    – 2 minute quarter mile (25 points)
    – 1 minute exercises (45 pt total)
    – Total: 70 points

    Repeat above combo 12 times for 840 total points.

    The beauty of this is that the above cycle would take 36 minutes, thus leaving 4 minutes to work. Since partial miles don’t count, it would be a blitzkrieg of exercises, aiming for 160 points or 40 points each of the last four minutes.

    840 + 160 = 1,000 (see, I do maff good)

    You might say, hitting 160 points in four minutes is impossible. Ok, then ruck one of the three miles accumulated from the quarter mile sprints (four quarter mile runs with weight). If carrying 30 lbs, for example, your last four minutes looks like 130 points (32.5 pts per minute). AND if the PAX showed up stretched and ready to go, then you could add 5 more minutes to the overall beatdown, which would further distribute the per minute point totals across the beatdown OR give you enough time to add a fourth mile.

    The logic is sound. The execution would need to be relentlessly methodical. Trying to pull it off 10 days into the May Challenge at the Lion’s Den was delusional.
    ——————————————

    The beatdown structure was simple:

    Run a series of quarter miles if you want to build points that way, otherwise do whatever the hell you want. After the dust settled, the average point accumulation was between 615 and 670 (not counting any pre-beatdown work). **Not bad at all considering that this time the mileage was actually accurate to the hundredth of a mile.**

    – Paradox stayed true to the run/exercise sequence. He even threw in some pull-ups on a bar that I couldn’t have reached jumping.

    – Similar to YHC, Enron abandoned some of the run early to focus on his uncanny strength with merkins and coupon curls.

    – Goose seemingly completed 9 million big boy sit-ups and stuck to the run combo.

    – It appeared as if Picadilly ran for 40 minutes straight, but he also knocked out a bunch of exercise points.

    AND though this individual PAX commands plenty of respect, I think the level falls woefully short of the awe we should have for 14-year old Pope. This dude is a beast now. In a few years, he is going to redesign F3 because it’s not hard enough for him. He just never stopped…like literally went all out for 40 minutes straight.

    (In the beginning of the beatdown, I asked Pope if he wanted full bricks (for mini-rucking) or half bricks. He politely asked for the full bricks. The look on his face, however, politely told me that if I ever disrespected him like that again, he’d make half bricks by breaking full bricks over my head.)

    Exact point totals for each PAX is somewhat known, but will not be published here, lest Enron decides to live into his F3 name. You know what he’s like when looking at numbers on a spreadsheet. The temptation to cook the books is just too strong. You go to a barber shop long enough, you’ll eventually get your hair cut (or so I’m told).

    That said, based on casual convos following the beatdown, and including pre-beatdown runs by Enron, Paradox, Goose, Pope, and YHC, my best maff skilz puts totals between 870 – 925.

    The challenge is on. 1000 points in 40 minutes. It can be done. Who will answer the call?

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

  • That’s No Moon… – from Paradox

    A long long time ago , in a Lions Den not too far away 7 pax assembled on May the 4th to defeat the mighty Death star.
    YHC would love to tell you we met this terror with a united pax but recent May challenge skirmishes have our x wings loaded with Ether and drawing lines in the Tatooine sand.

    Darth Ragnar Tana flew his silent Rav4Destroyer and met two of his JV crew from planet Chackbay. M2d2 and Cardinal3PO flexed in synchronized maroon ready to steal hundreds of points. YHC (palpatinDox? No? Ok I’ll keep workshopping it ) had his two Threat Level Midnight Allie’s, Ron Solo and DillyBaca ready to continue the force choking points party. Finally no defeat of the empire can occur without Goose Skywalker and His padawan Pope plus the trusted Yoda mat. (Wise to bring it , he was). We put aside our alliances for 45 minutes to bring peace to the galaxy.

    Duke! Put down that lightsaber and roll the bean footage!

    Warmup
    The usuals
    Tana continues to need a seminar on warmup protocol. I’ll be reaching out to his former educators for advise. This will definitely come up in todays Teams Call.

    YHC introduced the DeathStar

    5 stations dispersed along a roughly estimated .7 miles ish
    1: coupon curls at lion
    2: Stairs 20 merkins
    3: bench 20 bbsu
    4: dock 20 wide merkins
    5: tennis court 20 ww1 sit-ups

    Round 1
    Tour the stations All together mosey in between and get a feel for the enemy.

    Round 2
    Han Solo Mission
    Everyone on your own
    Pope took the title at 5:56 and secured the Animal performance of the beatdown

    Round 3
    Siths come in pairs
    Pair up and you can help your partner finish Reps buttt this round you have 40

    Round 4
    Defeat the Death Star as a team
    Team communication and effort to beat 6 minutes on the course.
    We sprinted to the flag for 6a, Saved the galaxy of Houma Thibodaux but we did perish in the blast by missing those last 20 star jumps. Just know that years from now when Yankee Jeauxbi One Kenobi tells our story at the Jedi Temple we will all be remembered as galactic heroes.

    COT and Dilly prayed us out

    NMM

    Coming together is a beginning
    Staying together is progress
    Working together is success
    – Henry Ford

    – Great morning seeing and feeling the progression from solo work, to pairs, to a full team push. YHC needs constant reminders of the strength of leaning on strong bonds during overwhelming times and I’m grateful to have you men as a safety net.

    See you in the gloom
    Dox

  • Oops, I Hit it Again…History of Baseball, Vol. 1.4 – from Yankee Joe

    Disclaimer:

    The following is a modified replay of a beatdown and blast from October 22. Thangs have been changed to protect the innocent. Butttt…since nobody is innocent, Duke can go ‘head and roll that bean footage like he’s Randall Floyd en route to buy Aerosmith tickets.

    In reality, YHC’s 2.3 got in and out of his crib 7,348 times, so yeah…modified re-run. Deal with it.
    —————————-

    Key Takeaways from The Morning:

    – This was a baseball themed beatdown and based on the throwing warm-up, we have a lot of work to do before we start riding up on our BMX’s and accuse folks of bobbing for apples in the toilet. Coyote and Pope were the only exceptions here. Our B-Rods as it were.

    – I think Dilly pointed out that Cardinal’s otherworldly crab walk talent apparently transfers to nurring. Seriously…the guy literally moon sprinted around the bases like his hair was on fire. Sha mon, hee heee!

    – While we’re on Cardinal, he was rocking the ANIMAL tank today. When I say rocking, I mean dang. This dude is ripped. I challenge you to find another man in the cloth with this brand of guns. Seriously…Contarini, Law, Richelieu…these Cardinals were fartsacking Crossfit workouts two weeks in.

    – Backward lunge walks are unnervingly difficult. Unless of course, you do them Picadilly style, then it’s more of a klaw. Yeahh…you get it.

    – A combined 800 reps of ab exercises was something. That said, Wet Tap’s grin seemed to grow with each rep, no doubt due to the turquoise euro trash tank showcasing his 12-pack mural of abdominals.

    – Speaking of tank tops, only Paradiddle could pull off wearing a Kenner dress shirt and Fidel Castro’s field cap…and still look cool. ¡Viva la Revolución!

    – Apparently, the best way to shut down Enron chatter is to talk about baseball. I assume this is because he’d rather play with his own stick, cradling it, swinging it, all to keep the ball in the head and then whack at other men’s sticks to get at their balls. (Lacrosse, people. Enron played lacrosse…sheesh.)

    – Ragnar Montana switched from man bun to a pony tail. It’s pretty impressive. Looks like an eternal flame over his head like the Presence at Pentecost.

    – Goose.
    ————————————-

    Warmarama

    Mosey to baseball field for pre game warmarama
    Side straddle hops
    Windmills
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles backward
    Cherry pickers
    High knees 15 yards, back
    Butt kick 15 yards, back
    Carioca 15 yards, back
    Extended nur 15 yards, back
    Warmup throw & catch with partner (In cadence)
    — Wild throw = 1 burpee
    — Dropped ball = 2 burpees

    ——————————————

    Chapter 1: 1830 – 1845

    How many perfect games have been thrown? 23

    There are many references that seem to allude to a crude predecessor of baseball as far back as the late 1700’s. In 1845, Alexander Cartwright, considered the true father of modern baseball and a member of the original New York Knickerbockers, wrote baseball’s first code of rules. These rules made up the core foundation of the sport we know today. Of note, you could no longer throw the object or ball at the opposing player to “put them out.” A shame, really.

    To celebrate Mr. Cartwright’s contribution in 1845:

    Pre-Thang 1: 1845’s
    – Bear crawl to first, 18 burpees;
    – Bear crawl to second 45 leg lifts;
    – Bear crawl to third, 18 Bonnie Blair’s (the hard way);
    – Bear crawl to home, 45 lbc’s

    ——————————————

    Batter Theme Song #1: Centerfield

    – Hillbilly squat walkers during verses
    – Bobby Hurley’s on refrain

    —————————————–

    Chapter 2: 1845 – 1903

    What is the distance between home plate and the pitcher’s mound? 60 feet, 6 in.

    In 1876, the National League was created. By 1901, the rules as we know it were instituted. In that same year, the American League was formed. In 1903, the first world series was played between the Boston Americans and the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Red Sox won. They won 91 games that season.

    In honor of that achievement:

    Thang 2: 91’s

    Lunge walk to first, 91 SSHs
    Lunge walk to second, 91 freddie mercuries 1:1
    Lunge walk to third, 91 LBC’s
    Lunge walk to home, 91 flutter kicks (2:1)

    —————————————–

    Batter Theme Song #2: Glory Days

    – Leg lifts during verses
    – LBC’s on refrains – try of 25 each refrain

    ——————————————

    Chapter 3: 1905 – 1945

    Who was the first team Babe Ruth played for? Red Sox

    By 1905, as baseball was being recognized as the national pastime, a commission was formed to investigate the true origin of the game. Was it based on the English game of “rounders” or the American game of “Old Cat?” It is during this investigation that Abner Doubleday mistakenly found his way into baseball founding history lore. His involvement has been firmly debunked over the past decades. Omaha missed the memo.

    Thang 3:

    Sprint relay race around bases; two teams; sprint in oppo direction (one pax toward first base and the other toward third.

    – Round 1: Normal Sprint – non runners are doing SSHs, winning team does 15 groiners; losing team does 15 burpees

    – Round 2: Nur – winning team does 25 leg raises; losing team does 100 LBC’s

    – Round 3: Backward lunge walk/frog hops – winning team does 15 bobby hurleys; losing team does 25 prisoner squats

    ———————————————–

    COT, Cardinal bestowed the ANIMAL tank upon Pope…very well deserved. Tap passed the Euro Trash (I recommend calling her Gigi moving forward) to YHC. Fortunately, turquoise works perfectly with my complexion and sporadic back hair.

    Paradiddle prayed us out.

    Even though this morning was not a true original, I had a blast. YHC’s themes are a bit of stretch, and I appreciate the PAX playing along. You never know how it’s going to turn out, so you just jump in. As Yogi Bera once said, “The future ain’t what it used to be.” Respect and Gratitude for each of you.

    SYITG,

    Boston Joe out.

  • ParO’dox and the St Patrick Games – from Paradox

    YHC rolled into the Den on two wheels with just a few extra minutes to let some LepraCones (tM) stretch their legs in the ball park . YhC saw Dilly drive up to see what was happening, gave a fist bump and politely let him know that everything he had seen was “classified “. YHC then set out a few coin dishes and the last thing YHC saw was a gangly Irish fellow with a green mullet and a smedium Irish Affliction shirt (never change Thibodaux Walmart) coming toward me. He had Joy in his eyes and a prayer in his heart. He shotgunned a Guinness and told YHC this beatdown was his…that’s when YHCs lights went dim and all that’s left below are eye witness accounts and fragmented memories during an out of body experience.

    Duke !! Get the footage !!

    Warmup

    5:15am:
    Report from Dale at the
    Chic Fil La Drive Thru :

    “I saw several middle aged men loitering around a lion statue. They looked like they were waiting on someone. Then a maniac rounded the corner with green hair and it was business in the front , party in the back . I’m gonna be honest with you here, that guy looked high. Maybe bath salts. He ran around them in circles, obviously some pagan ritual chant playing from a wireless device. He paused in the middle and spoke in what sounded like a hybrid between Jeff Foxworthy and Connor McGregor. They followed him in unison and it only took a few minutes for them to work into a full lather. He gave them one last cussin and they disappeared toward the demon duck pond. Strange man …real strange. “

    5:22am
    Report from Martha who “gets her steps in” every morning at the demon duck pond track:

    “Youths today !! I tell ya what ! They ran by me in a line singing about drunken sailors and rambling rovers! Then they made the last man do a crude 1/2 lunge dance. This new generation is circling the toilet ! Now if you’ll excuse me I need 400 more steps so I can have my pastalaya for breakfast “

    Journal entry from Earl Thibodaux
    Who works maintenance for the parks department and keeps meticulous notes during his smoke break.

    “These young fellas poured into the ball field about 5:30a. They had cardinals, gooses and one guy was straight up named after a piece of wood. Clearly gang affiliated. The skinny mullet weirdo read them an excerpt from the St Patrick prayer and they danced around the field. The signs said :

    Station 1
    Christ Beneath Me
    10 big bois
    1 coin

    5 bonnie Blair’s

    Station 2 Center Field
    Christ on my right, Christ on my left
    15 (2 is one) Apolo Ohnos
    2 coins

    Station 3 Right Field
    Christ Above Me
    20 Star Jumps
    3 coins

    5 bonnie Blair’s

    That fella then organized some sort of exercise money game. Prolly with that real Lean fella they call Enron.

    First they went solo collecting coins at Stations and the losers did squats.

    Next he had them Split into teams
    They started at home base with 2 buckets for coins.
    1 fella was at at bucket doing jumping jacks at all times but could swap out with a team mate.
    The rest of them leapt to any station or a cone to complete reps or gather a prize which gave them gold coins for the bucket of gold.

    He had some cones out too , looked like this:
    Cone 1 (I) 20 LBCs 1 coin
    Cone 2 (R) 100 high knees (1 is 1)
    Cone 3 (E) 30 Leg Raises …(the answer to the preBlast riddle was set as a 0 coin trap . Sorry Dilly! )
    Cone 4 (L) 10 side Lunges (left right is 1)
    Cone 5 (A) 10 American hammers
    Cone 6 (N) 20 flutter kicks
    Cone 7 (D) 10 dolphin Hops

    I heard the one they called Dilly holler “stay away from the E cone, it’s a trap!” They never saw it coming.

    They played a few rounds and the team with the cranky bald fella that makes fake siren noises kept winning. Finally they jogged back around the civic center and I for one , wouldn’t be surprised if you saw those mugshots on the 6 o clock news. “

    5:58
    Dale from Chic Fil La again

    “Well that girl forgot my mini biscuits so I made another lap around the drive thru. That’s when I saw them kids sprinting back to the lion. They did a few more leg ups then counted each other and named each other. They said a group prayer and scattered before I could even jot down a plate number!

    6:20a
    Paradox:
    YHC woke up in his driveway with a foggy head and some scattered cones. A note on my windshield read “you’ve got a solid group of Lads there, now they know a proper Irish beatdown !
    St Patty Pray for us
    see ya next year
    – ParO’dox “

    NMM

    Was recently discussing the consistency aspect of F3 with Enron and we both agreed it had outlasted any previous “fad exercises” in our careers. A funny thing about F3 for YHC is the “frog in boiling water “ effect. One day you walk into your first gloom with old gym shorts on cus your friend said it was “a challenging workout ”. The next thing you know you have on a Irish national flag hat with a sewn in mullet singing sea shanties and yelling “Oui” as a response while you lead other men. Yet just as the frog can’t quite remember when the water started boiling, I can’t really pinpoint when F3 begin to make me a better man. I just know day by day, rep by rep , through suffering and triumph we improve each other a little more .

    See Ya Bonnie Lads in the Gloom
    Dox

  • No Mercy Struggle – from Lil Cuz

    YHC woke up a little earlier with a little extra excitement, he had been called up to the Big Show, The Peltch. There was talk the night before of Spiderman getting into a blood feud with Cobra Kai and classic 80’s fade away to black with “Candle in the Wind” by Elton John playing in the background. YHC had other plans in mind.

    You see, most of the Thibodaux Pax has started Exodus 90 and this has gotten YHC thinking about the struggle of life and how struggling is always easier with a big group of brothers surrounding you. The perfect song came to mind for a beatdown and the No Mercy Struggle was born.

    Typical Warm-ups with a quickened cadence to prepare everyone and especially YHC for what we were about to undertake: SSH, Windmills, Arm Circles (FW and BW), Cherry Pickers, High Knees and Butt Kicks.

    Thang 1:
    Brother Isaiah – Struggler

    Catalina Wine Mixer for duration of the song and Burpees for every “Struggle; Struggler; Struggling”. This proved to be a great start as this was way harder than anticipated and song was cut at the solo which saved the pax from my approximation of around 45 more burpees. Give or take.

    Thang 2: No Mercy Mile

    Pax begin at mid point of front stretch on a standard track.
    Jog to turn 1
    Bear crawl (1st and 3rd Round), Spiderman Crawl (2nd and 4th Round) to turn 2.
    Jog to mid point on back stretch. Do 25 merkins.
    Jog to turn 3
    Lunge (1st and 3rd Round), Flying Nun(2nd and 4th Round) to turn 4.
    Jog to starting point perform 25 squats.
    Rinse & Repeat three more times.

    The Spiderman Crawls proved to be much harder than I had expected and the pax suffered through a half turn before YHC called back to bear crawl. Great job fellas! YHC did not have the heart to make the pax suffer through another go of it on the 4th round.

    When complete we have bear crawled 400 yards, lunged 400 yards, performed 100 merkins and squats all while completing 1 mile.

    Thang 3:
    Brother Isaiah – Firelight

    Mary Workouts for duration of song called out by YHC:
    – Flutter Kicks
    – Freddie Mercs
    – Dolphin Hops – I can still hear the groans – Those were for you Dox. Get Better! Make sure to ask your wife for a scrip. Given she is a doctor and all .Word is so is your Mother in Law. Dude…how lucky are you!
    – High Plank
    – Low Plank
    – LBC’s to end of the song.

    Mercy has come in a reminder in this song that we are made for something better:

    You come in stillness, when I am helpless
    And show me the love, the Lover who loves me in my brokenness
    I’m just a poor child, but I’m a Father’s son
    And in my weakness, I’m still your chosen one, yeah yeah
    Such a mystery, but it’s my destiny

    Cause I was made for glory, I was made for freedom
    Called to be light and to live in a Kingdom

    To finish we did Potluck Mary while the baseball team looked ever so envious of our struggle and wanting to join the best FREE MEN’S WORKOUT around.

    It was a complete Honor to struggle with you fellas this morning and I thank God everyday for the gift he has given me in you men.

    SYITG,
    Cuz

  • After this 1st &10 YHC gives you the rest of the year off! – from Wiford Montana

    YHC was ready to make a splash to close out the year thankful to be a part of F3 Thibodaux. This was my first Peltch que and after a quick consult with my Dr. (POOx) I was ready to launch into the workout. 11 guys showed up, 1 new guy in the mix but new no longer, Welcome Splinter to the PAX!

    Warm up: all the usuals from a Tana warm up which means a total failure to launch and awkward silence and I ask myself why is no one counting… o wait that is suppose to be me. We were loose and ready now.

    Indian Run: all the way around the peltch last man hits 5 meekins as JBL brought the straight smoke with hits from the 70’s

    Ode to Anker: Lil Ed blues song
    2 monkey humper on monkey
    2 bunny hops on rabbit
    1 good morning on lion.
    *Spoiler alert: the monkey ends up eating the rabbit

    1st and a looong 10
    Run to goal and then ladder to every yardage
    10: man makers
    20: burpees
    30: merkins
    40: Thrusters
    50: Big boys
    60: squats
    70: plank jacks
    80: seal jacks
    90: ssh
    100: flutters

    We met back at the 50 to do 50 press ups and curls till I called it. Special t claps to all who got covered in a fair bit of mud and I felt the power from doing this together at each 10. Great job PAX this one in conjunction with the mud was something I have not yet done, only due to the extreme bass and tones of JBL hitting the journey songs pushed us through. Dox and JBL had the prescription we all needed.
    My last act in 2022 as YHC is to give the rest of the year off from F3 beatdowns!
    COT and Enron prayed us out!
    It’s been a year fellas glad to be here with each of you.
    Tana

  • 2 Year Manniversary of F3 Thibodaux! A Brief History of F3 Down the Bayou – from Goose

    The highly anticipated day had arrived. Costumes were donned, and the gloom was dark. So dark, in fact, that Paradox, fully decked out in unlicensed Jack Sparrow gear, did a full Helen Keller on an FNG, hands all over his face saying, “Goose, Goose is that you?” just because the guy showed up in a grayish Tundra. The FNG was accomodating, and YHC did show up a little later, overjoyed at the PAX’s costumes and their total disregard for how they’d fare in the rain, the dirt, and through at least 100 burpees. From giant furry vikings to skin tight Moana characters to full size pickles, these dudes were all in. Thankfully, God delayed the rain for a few hours, so the weather was perfect and the morale was super high (made even higher by Head Cheese’s dramatic entrance). We had record numbers at The Peltch, coffeeteria planned for the first time, and 2 years of an unprecedented journey to tromp through–it was an awesome morning!
    Warmup of the usual with last minute costumers trickling in (Picadilly’s pickle balls were amazing, even if they fell off during the first set of mountain climbers). PAX grabbed coupons out the truck, and we were off toward the lower field for the First Era of F3 Thibodaux: Goose-olation

    Era 1: The Genesis of the Beginning, The Dawn of the Origins, Part I
    Goose arrives in Thibodaux from Mandeville with nothing but a list of backblasts from NOLA, Northshore and BR. He couldn’t stop the progress, though, and had high hopes for what might develop. So, the backyard would have to do. For months, what drove him on was knowing that F3 brethren somewhere had already sweat through whatever beatdown he had pulled from the backblast list, so he wasn’t completely “alone”.
    The routine for this era would be The Big Bang:
    All PAX start in a bunch huddled around the coupons. First round, grab a coupon, do 5 OH presses, then mosey 10 steps out from the pack and do 10 burpees (facing outward for max isolation) before returning and plank up for the six.
    2nd round: 5 OH presses, mosey 15 steps out, 15 merkins
    3: 5 OH presses, 20 steps, 20 burpees
    4: 5 OH presses, 25 steps, 25 Hammers
    It’s a reality that pushing alone is way harder than pushing together, and the contrast was felt. Glad to move onto Era 2.

    Era 2: Random pop-ups
    The first to follow the dancing idiot into the madness was technically Cardinal, though he wasn’t seen again for many months (quoted as saying something like “that’s for the birds”). So, Wet Tap gets T-claps for coming out unaccompanied to throw himself into whatever Goose and his Goslings were doing out at Peltier. Then came Gordon, G.I. Joe, and Percolator, though because of work schedules and getting over the initial hump, attendance was random.
    This seemed a great opportunity for the randomness of the Deck of Death, so Wet Tap started us out under the Thunderdome with a random pull followed by three more (Irkins, Bulgarian split squats, and whatever those other two were…). Then, for the sake of time, we moseyed to the baseball field.

    Era 3: Enron
    Goose’s isolation, especially on weekdays, changed unexpectedly with the arrival of Enron. With the dogged determination and willingness to endure pain that only a younger brother could posses, Enron showed up to every beatdown he could and pushed himself hard to keep up with Goose. This quickly led to intense progress and his VQ (alone at The Peltch–for character building). His determination has never slowed, and his Q’s are well thought out (and typed out), usually including some sort of element of chance (for Cardinal).
    PAX partnered up for a grinder as a reminder of all those mornings at The Stage with just Goose and Enron. Split duty on 100 burpees at home plate while partner 2 runs the bases.

    Era 3: Return of the EH (and Crab Walk) King
    Cardinal eventually did return, and not only did he stick with it, even on weekdays, but the PAX quickly began to swell with his FNG’s, and his move to Chackbay has only widened his EH territory.
    The exercise would be Bear Crawl Tag Infection–Cardinal started at the pitchers mound and bear crawled around tagging the PAX, who were crab walking to get away within the confines of the infield. Once someone was tagged, he became part of the cult, switched to bear crawl, and began tagging the rest of the sad clowns (crabwalkers). It took no time for all to be tagged, ironically with Head Cheese being the last…So, we moseyed to The Chimney for Era 4.

    Era 4: Paradox
    As soon as Paradox even heard there was an F3, he had purchased tiny Mudgear shorts and within minutes had memorized the entire Exicon and the last 100 backblasts from the top 5 regions. And, his foot has never let off the gas. This next routine would be a nod to his name (you know, cuz he’s a doctor, and his wife is also a doctor, so they’re a pair-o-docs…), and to a couple of his Peltch Q’s.
    Partner up, both partners do 10 burpees, then one partner body drags another about 20 yards to the chimney, both do 10 more burpees, then flapjack and body drag the other back to start. This is where Paradox’s mustache exploded (the remainder of his facial hair) which made him Orlando Bloom’s character instead (props to Lil’ Cuz for that observation).

    Era 5: Lumen Christi
    Earlier this year Cardinal was able to talk a few of the young men who worked at the chancery with he and YHC to come out to a new beatdown on Tuesday mornings at Lumen Christ, the retreat center behind the chancery (with showers and everything). It was a glorious AO with a great crew, and some of the Thibodaux PAX would show up every now and then, too. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t last as the retreat schedule filled up (I guess it seemed a little less retreat-ish to have a bunch of sweaty dudes bear crawling down the hill to the Top Gun soundtrack or Indian running past the windows with cinder blocks over their heads).
    In a nod to Tighty Whitey (may he never be forgotten) and Enron’s near death experience at Lumen, we did Welsh Dragons up to 7, followed by a mosey to the playground.

    Era 6: SV 500
    The St. Vincent was arguably the best F3 fundraiser in the country (and maybe the world) for 2022 (and maybe for all time, past and future). Thanks to Paradox’s leadership and the buy-in of the rest of the PAX, it went off beautifully, tons of people attended, we had an incredible time, and we surpassed our goal of $10K for prescription meds for people in need. In honor if this incredibly blessed experience, we partnered up again for a quick Dora in honor of the partner race that raised the bar for many years to come.
    Partners would split duty on 100 flutter kicks on the playground side of the “mountain” while partner 2 ran over the “mountain” and did 10 Big Boy Situps on the other side and ran back. Then, moseyed back to the Thunderdome for the final eras.

    Era 7: Jerftember
    Yankee Joe’s arrival came and went like many who get a first taste of F3, puke, and don’t come back. But he did come back after about a month, puked some more, and became hopelessly addicted to growth. The Jerf was born out of this deep desire for more and more growth, and it opened a new era of Thibodaux PAX ownership, comradery, accountability, and WHOOP pressure. It also gave birth to BAPS, who still hasn’t fully proven himself.
    In honor of the Jerf, PAX lined up on the baseline under the Thunderdome for one full round of Jerfing. The sound of 17 PAX dropping cinder blocks onto concrete under an echoing pavillion is truly a glorious thing.

    Era 8: IPC and Burptober
    With one minute remaining, YHC led the PAX in 3 Kraken Burpees in honor of the unprecedented Week 5 of IPC and to finish out the 100 burpees needed for the second to last day of Burptober.

    Moseyed back to the flag, all still in full costume, for an incredible COT and our first ever coffeeteria. Fence Post was named (Welcome!!), Cue Ball was welcomed (originally from F3 Huntsville), and tables, donuts, too much coffee, and raw eggs were laid out under the trees. Conversation was awesome as the PAX rejoiced in the incredible blessing that F3 has been and the unrepeatable gift that each man has been to the whole group. The high from that morning has lasted for multiple days now, and it spilled over into record breaking numbers at The Stage this morning (including Fence Post!). Looking forward to the many years to come!

    See You In The Gloom,
    Goose

  • The St. Vincent 500 – from Paradox

    Our tale begins in the spring of 2022 in a small bayou town where a community pharmacy, after taking losses from storm and plague, had great need. After decades of providing vital prescription medicine for those in need, this team of volunteers now searched for the same helping hand. The Pax of F3 Thibodaux heard the call, and a plan was devised. We consulted our sage leader for advice. This HIM had carried the torch of 3Fs from the Mandevillage many moons ago. He knew the way of the pax and was skilled in the smithing of a fine beatdown. He peered into the gloom with a thousand-mile stare and the fate of the fundraiser hung in the balance. “if you build it..they will come” Goose said with a nod and then promptly vanished into a flurry of burpees. With a team formed and a grant secured we dove into the work.
    An event was needed and a place to rally the pax. A race, but not just any race. A challenge of physical and mental strength that would call to the hearts of the Louisiana PAX. A series of pain and cardiovascular torture so intense that no self-respecting HIM of F3 Nola could resist. It was forged in the caves of .word files and hammered through the gmail circuit boards. Welded to perfection one station at a time. A burpee here, a bonnie blair there. Precious metals adorned it at every corner to award prepared pax but many traps lay waiting for poor form. It was written, and it was done and it was beautiful.

    The beacons of aid were lit! Thibodaux called for aid…and our brothers answered.
    39 PAX (including 6 FNGs!) assembled at the stage on a gorgeous bayou morning! They came from northern shores and from western banks. From uptowns and motherships. From Grannies and Lakefronts. They came in calf sleeves, mudgears and some even bare of foot! Namesakes that struck fear like Shooter and Tanked. Some that drew intrigue like Hokie and Hawg. Famed backblasters we had read for years like Steve and Akbar. Even legends of the gloom like Frac and the Reluctant Yankee, who were there when the deep magic was gifted to us from the eastern coast. They followed a lonesome bayou road and mumbled Deliverance jokes along the way. They came as one to help a great cause and lock shields with their brothers in the bayou. The course was set, pleasantries exchanged, and the only thing left to do was make a run at 500. Let’s get to it…

    Warmup

    Goose gave the disclaimer and race details, and pointed out key safety and strategy reminders. Each two-person pax team would start at a numbered station along the course. Once the horn was blown, they would begin at their station and advance. Each station had 3 options: bronze, silver or gold. (Worth 10, 15 and 25 points respectively. So, a perfect score of gold at all 20 stations would reach the mythical 500 points. These corresponded to the number of reps completed by a team combined. They then would grab the token and secure it in an advanced technology carrying case (Ziploc bag). Head for the next station and rinse and repeat until you have finished 20 stations or ran out of time.
    After this was explained he led a thunderous cadence of our usuals stage warmups. This was YHCs first experience with a >20 pax group and the big group energy was powerful

    THE THANG

    Pair up, line up and we were numbered off 1-19 (one team of 3). Each team headed for their station and when GI Joe hit the airhorn it was geaux time. The stations were as follows:

    STATIONS:
    1. Merkins- 40, 80, 120
    2. Bobby Hurleys—30, 60, 90
    3. Freddy Mercuries—50, 100, 200
    4. Coupon Curls—40, 60, 100
    5. SSH: 50, 100, 150
    6. Carolina Dry Docks- 40, 60, 100
    7. Big Boy Sit Ups- Partner does big boys, one partner sprints to next station and back. 100, 150, 200 situps
    8. Side lunges (2 is 1)- 40, 80, 120
    9. Coupon OHP- 40, 60, 100
    10. Burpees- 30, 50, 100
    11. LBC’s- 50, 100, 200
    12. Peter Parker Merkins- 30, 60, 90
    13. Bonnie Blair (2 is 1) 40, 60, 100
    14. Brick Back Flys- 50, 100, 200
    15. Leg Raise Dora – One partner Leg raises, one partner bear crawl to next station and run back. 50, 100 or 200
    16. Mission Impossible Plank- combined time: 1 minute, 2 minutes, 5 minutes
    17. Coupon Swings- 40, 60, 100
    18. Prisoner Squats – 50, 100, 150
    19. Mountain Climber (2:1) 50, 100, 200
    20. Arm Circles while partner crabwalks to next station and runs back. Complete 100, 200, or 400

    After 1 hour of “Pax vs St. Vincent course” the dust settled and everyone returned to the flag. Chatter was high about the difficulty of the layout, the supreme fun had traversing the course and low rumblings of scores north of 400 permeated the air. A few teams completed counting up their coins while we began the count off, and name off. YHC was impressed with the veteran naming experience of NOLA and northshore pax. Their FNG naming skills were unparalled and we left with six newly minted local PAX: Welcome Sir Lawrence, Kodiak (CodyYak), MeatSweats, One Call, Wallflower and Lambchops. Looking forward to getting yall in the mix.

    Now down to serious business. YHC and Goose dramatically unveiled the official St. Vincent 500 dual trophies for the final presentation. Imagine a 12-inch manifestation of the love child between Hulk and Stretch Armstrong, in a full rage pose. Victory is all he has ever known. After appropriate oooohhhhs and ahhhhsss Goose led a suspenseful point count-off to see who the last team was standing. In the end, the combination of Tanked Up and Speedy Gonzalez tallied 470 points and took home the first annual St. Vincent 500 trophy! T- Claps on those numbers gentlemen. Phenomenal effort. We’ll all be gunning for you next year.

    Coffeeteria after provided by our St. Vincent de Paul board and it was great to get a chance to talk shop with all the pax and compare notes on course strategy.

    YHC could not have envisioned the tremendous amount of support we would receive from both our local community and our F3 community for this cause.
    So grateful for each one of you who spent your weekend time and energy for this event.

    At the time of writing this backblast we have raised $10, 451. 51!! This goes directly to purchase of prescription medicine for those individuals in need. Praise God!

    Thank you for the oppurtunity to lead.

    SYITG,
    Paradox

  • Teamwork Gumbo- Add Burpees to Taste – from Paradox

    One of the many beautiful things about F3 is that beatdowns come in all flavors. Some are slow cooked for that low heat quad burn. Some, pan fried in zoysia and leave you needing 2.5 gallons of Rouses water to lick your wounds. Others, heavy on the spice , with unknown ingredients mixed in ready to ambush you at every dollar store cone. Saturday’s beatdown needed all our pax ingredients to blend together in a synergistic gumbeaux of team building exercises
    It went a little something like this….

    Recipe for Teamwork Gumbeaux
    1 cup extra crispy Yankee Joe , variable beard length for extra masculinity
    1 oven roasted Goose , dark meat or white meat you’ll find the form impeccable
    3.18 micrograms of Spicey Enron powder (kinda like a knock off Tony Chachere’s ) to challenge the palate,- works well on slow 10 counts
    1 complaint free twice baked Perclelator , Chackbay imported only
    1 tightly wrapped Wet Tap , 10 merkins before cooking or the chest meat will be gamey
    1 Kilo of unmarked everchanging vehicles to keep the recipe fresh
    1 sprinkle of Chocolate Montana Thunder to keep the fasting glucose below 300
    1 lb of freshly chopped Piccadilly,  imported from Houma
    A dash of Coyote so we have a benchmark for speed
    A spread of Pope to keep us young and humble
    Blend all together in a roux of burpees and squatsPreheat your Peltier Park Oven to 92 , adjust to max humidity and cook for 1 hour
    Serve hot and Bone app the teeth cus it always goes down smooth

    WarmUp

    The usuals plus a few added reps while we welcomed Kilo and Montana to the fray. (T claps to Montana for his first Peltch experience)
    Got started with a Black snake Indian run with the last PAX dropping for 10 ssh.  JBL dialed up Eye of the Tiger and was thumping to keep the intensity high. PAX came out of the gate strong with speed and tenacity. Set the tone and didn’t let up. This led us to the tennis courts. 

    With a goal of solidifying pax unity before our fundraiser event YHC had some teamwork training in mind today.  First step was to identify the key pillars of an effective team then immediately put them to the test. 

    Thang 1
    Mutual respect for your teammates

    Aretha Franklin taught the boys some RESPECT
    IW on song , Squats on “just a little bit “ , Burpees on “Respect “
    Followed by a Mini ladder – 10 reps of the following exercises with descending burpees From 7
    Ranger merkins
    Elbow plank jacks
    Squats
    Peoples chair arm raises
    Easy merkins (wide)
    Carolina dry
    Terrible merkins (diamond)
    Coyote continued to challenge the land speed record for mammals and Yankee Joe kept the mumble chatter to a simmer which was his lowest possible setting. – T- claps to Goose for watching out for PAX safety on those net jumps. May have to modify those if they tighten the net. 

    Mosey to ThunderDome

    Thang 2

    Communication, Accountability and Trust
    YHC welcomed PAX to the Burpee minefield where we will build communication or suffer the consequences.
    Pax holds plank on the surrounding rectangle with scattered cones in between. 
    send one pax through blindfolded
    if he knocks over a cone , 5 squats
    Decrease time each rotation as communication improves . Goose , Montana, Wet Tap, and Coyote ran the gauntlet safely. Great teamwork and flexibility here as the PAX learned to let the next man down the line control the instructions as they are closer to the action. Penalties were minimal.

    Thang 3
    Mosey To big field For Conflict resolution training Via JBL and Anker. If you’ve been following the bayou pax backblasts you may know about this storm that’s been brewing. The feud between pax bluetooth devices has been long, bloody and flooded many well planned beatdowns with chaos. Every great team must be challenged with internal conflict. But how you respond to the conflict seperates good from great. With this lesson in mind YHC extended an olive branch to Team Anker with a goal in mind…. Pax destruction via a two headed bluetooth hydra spitting fire , thumping tubs, and striking thunder in the hearts of the pax. 

    Split into 2 teams. one to Anker, one to JBL roughly 100 yards apart
    When your team does 3 burpees run to the other song
    High knees on song
    Sprint between devices
    JBL played ACDC ,  burpees on thunderStruck
    Anker played TubThumping
    burpees on “get knocked down”

    All YHC will comment here is that an anonymous tip of Whoop data was submitted later that day with HR spikes to the 190s and unprecedented strain. 

    We put it all together with a mission to advance the kettlebell to the 100 yard cone
    All Pax in single file, pass kettle bell behind you while in al gore
    Last man takes kb and lunges to the front hands off , does 5 squats
    Every time you hand off the kb, do 5 squats. Brutal quad burn.

    Mosey back to the flag for Special Musical Mary
    With our teamwork training complete we felt like a cohesive unit , cueing up Feel so close by Calvin Harris: Alternate freddie mercuries on the chorus with wife pleasers , penguins , LBCs, big boys, flutter kicks. A great burner and the effort here was tremendous. 

    COT and Enron prayed us out 

    1 week until the SV 500!! The Stage is set and Sponsors are filled! . Check out Slack or Facebook for more info. Come see us Friday night for a burger at the Stage as well. 

    Grateful for you men and the strength we have when locking shields together
    . Thanks for the freedom to lead. 

    SYITG

     Paradox

    ◦

  • Bleepin’ Progress! – from Goose

    Four PAX made their mark in the swampy grass at Schriever Park this morning as the initial side straddle hops squished deep ruts around the flag. But, if YHC is gonna get up at 5am to go jump in the mud, I’m grateful it’s with these HIMs.

    After a briefer warmup than normal, we moseyed to the mini Thunderdome to get really warm with a classic: “Baba O’Reilly” by the Who; Imperial Walkers for the duration in rhythm with the 5 minute song. That one doesn’t seem to get any easier.

    Now that the legs were warm, we moseyed to the tennis courts for the continuation of the dreaded Bleep Test saga. This time the PAX was challenged to push for two more lengths than last week’s max out, and YHC promised we’d only do it once this time for maximum effort. It was Elmer’s first time, though his superhuman effort (despite PTSD from his middle school experience) really changed the dynamic and pushed Cardinal and YHC to do more than we probably would have otherwise. Nice work, Elmer’s!

    Stayed on the tennis court for some figure 8’s. PAX started at one corner, and in a single file(ish) line, bear crawled and side shuffled a figure 8 pattern (up to the net, across, up to the opposite baseline, across, back to the net, across, back to the baseline, and across back to the start). Vertical lines were bear crawls, and horizontal lines were side shuffles for round 1, all facing forward, which meant it was crawl bears for the trips back toward the baseline. Round 2 was the same principal, but with crab walks, carioca, and walk crabs. Cardinal dominated, per usual, with all things crab walk, and an F3 Olympics was discussed as a way to showcase this natural dominance. (Research is being done into what anatomical anomaly gives him such an advantage, or whether performance enhancing drugs or genetic grafting with a crab are involved.)

    Next, we finished with some Dora 123 utilizing the bleachers and the dry, spongy surface of the playground. While Partner 1 hammered away at 100 Big Boy Situps, 200 Leg Raises, and 300 LBC’s, Partner 2 ran to the bleachers and ran up and down them for the first set, 5 box jumps for the second set, and 5 derkins for the third set. We had to stop at 150 LBC’s for time and so that representatives from the Terrebonne Parish Parks and Rec Dept. didn’t come after us for the muddy rut we were digging between the playground and the bleachers.

    Moseyed back to the flag for COT and prayer led by Elmer’s. Great appreciation for the brotherhood this morning and the willingness to truly take ownership of the common suffering.

    SYITG,
    Goose