F3 New Orleans

Tag: Paradox

  • DJ DOD – from Paradox

    Deep in the depths of the Paradox iPhone lives a playlist that has no name. It feeds on the souls of poor burpee form. It has daily injections of AC/DC and Led Zeppelin. It never stops looking for repetitive songs to link with even more repetitive exercises. It delights at the thought of mumblechatter. It has one singular purpose: smoke the PAX. It has grown for months in darkness waiting to be unleashed on unsuspecting individuals at the Stage when the moment was right…
    YHCc (your humble co-coordinator) rolled into a pitch-black stage after an early morning power outage. After questionable attendance and busy schedules abound a pre planned CoQ beatdown was ready to roll with Enron. A simple mixture of 1 deck of death plus a playlist was proposed and when the whistle blew 5:30 am the Stage lights flashed on and the monster was unleashed.

    Warmup
    Enron lead us through some favorites (SSH, WM, IW, grass grabbers ) and YHCc led a shoulder stretch series capped by a bumper Mosey with a beautiful sunrise where we weighed the pros and cons of an on site bathroom for the SV500 . (it was voted neigh x3)

    THANG
    Justin Timberlake got us started with “Cant stop the feeling” One pax ran the track , high knees on bench straight away while 2 pax got jiggy with some Morrocans. Cant stop the feeling indeed.
    DOD round 1: 20 merkins, 12 burpees, 17 LBCs
    Eminem led us to the picnic tables where we completed incline merkin types in ring of fire format during “Till I collapse”. Yankee Joe came up with an ingenious variation of staggered picnic table merkins. We alternated merkins sets with ring of fire step up. Well played slim shady.
    DOD round 2: 20 incline merkins, 400m sprint, 15 RosaLitas. Some confusion here on difference between Rosalita and Hello Dollie and Gooses deep exicon knowledge was sorely missed. (he had an appropriate excused absence)

    We once again fell into a burning Ring of Fire during Bear crawls around the picnic table while Johnny Cash informed us that love was a burning thing born of wild desire. Merkins for every “fire” and continuous bearcrawls the rest. We felt the love Johnny.

    DOD round 3- 100 SSH, Bear crawl, Karaoke to sidewalk and back

    YHCc gave the pax a disclaimer that things were about to get weird as JBL pulled a favorite from YHCc’s high school techno phase. Benny Benassi’/Skrillex led us through Cinema with Bicycles during all the beat drops and a variety of core for the rest (penguins, lbcs, big boys, leg raises). Enron got lost in a techno haze as the bicycle pace picked up and only a timely “recover” saved him from a strobe light seizure.

    2 minutes left for Lil Jon to ask us a deep philosophical question: Turn Down for What???
    Burpees on this phrase and IW on the rest. A fine finisher. Is there really anything We should turn down for? We are still searching for the answer.

    Announcements: Tuesdays at 6am for the new AO @ Shriever park. Continued preparations for the SV 500.
    Congrats to the Dawsons on the new 2.0 baby Joseph! There are reports his lil baby crunches are already surpassing his fathers form.
    COT and Enron prayed us out.

    Thanks to Enron for the co-Q . DJ DOD had a nice tempo and will be a Stage mainstay.
    Beautiful morning with a lot of Gods blessings to celebrate. Thanks for the opportunity fellas.

    SYITG

    DJ Pdox

  • “A Friggin’ Long Time” – from Goose

    The number 40 is clearly a big deal–it shows up in some of the most important events in Scripture, and it’s a turning point in the lives of most people. So, this day being that turning point for YHC, I decided to take a dive into some of those important events and make at least one of the PAX puke in the process.
    If you translate the number 40 from the original Hebrew, it technically means “a friggin’ long time,” as in, “It rained for a friggin’ long time,” or, “The Israelites were in the desert for a friggin’ long time.” Hence, the theme of the following routines (after a warmup of the usual, including suggestions of a more efficient combination of some of the favorite exercises, such as “Moroccan Self-Love,” the image of which continues to make YHC laugh out loud at inopportune times, like in church the next day):

    Noah’s Ark:
    YHC decided to honor a few of the animals who took that famous ride, and the PAX lined up in the outfield to do 40 steps forward and 40 steps backward of the following:
    bear crawls, crab walks, duck walks, and inchworm merkins.
    Backward duck walks burned, and backward inchworm merkins required more coordination than most of the PAX could muster, but they will definitely be used again in the future.

    Exodus:
    After being freed from Egypt, crossing the Red Sea on dry land, their enemies being completely destroyed, being fed miraculously every morning and evening, led by a pillar of fire by night and cloud by day, the Israelites struggled to have faith that God could lead them to inhabit the land He promised. After sending a group of spies to reconnoiter the land, they came back with a report, that despite the land being amazing, it would be impossible to take because of the large race of people living there. Because of their lack of faith and obstinance, they then had to take a roundabout route that took them 40 years to complete before faithful men finally led them to conquer and inhabit the land.
    Moseyed to the lower field, and after an explanation of the meaning and origins of the word “reconnoiter” and a challenge from Paradox to Enron to read a book every now and then, the PAX partnered up for the following:
    Partner 1–run to the outfield fence (from the outside) and do 20 squat jumps (squatting behind the city walls and leaping up to take a peek at what’s inside).
    Partner 2–chilly jacks until partner returns with news from all the reconnoitering.
    Once both partners have completed the squat jumps, it was an Indian Run to the Thunderdome, which was right behind us, but, of course, we had to take a roundabout route to the street and around the front entrance of the park first.

    Temptation of Jesus in the Desert:
    After eating nothing for 40 days and 40 nights (“a friggin’ long time”), Jesus was very hungry, and after this exercise, the PAX would be very winded. 10 burpees EMOM for 4 minutes = 40 quick burpees. YHC had originally considered more, but was grateful for only 40 after the previous exercises and in the thick humidity. Yankee Joe took this opportunity to “boot” for the first time that day (literal translation = “reconnoiter the inside of a toilet bowl”), which reminded him of his college days, and after which he jumped right back in with renewed vigor.

    40 Days between Easter and Ascension:
    During the time period after the Resurrection and before the Ascension, a few of the apostles went fishing, caught nothing, and after being directed by a mysterious person on shore (Jesus) to throw their nets on the other side of the boat, they hauled in 153 large fish. So, after moseying to the chimney, we used the letters in the word FISH, to complete 40 reps of the following:
    Frogs (Crunchy variety): OYO, 1 is 1
    Imperial Walkers: IC, 2:1
    Squats: OYO
    Hand-release Merkins: OYO (x33 to add up to 153)

    Barnabas:
    June 11 is also the feast day of the Apostle Barnabas. Though not one of the original 12, he was Paul’s main companion for most of his journeys, many of which ended in some rough treatment. So, the PAX partnered up again for three rounds of partner carries, 20 yards out, flapjack, and 20 yards back (40):
    1. Fireman’s Carry (over the shoulders)
    2. Wheelbarrow
    3. Partner Drag (wrap around from behind, heels dragging)
    Paradox claims to have a clear path to heaven now that he’s carried a priest (Cardinal) on his shoulders.

    40 Finisher:
    YHC took it right up to the limit with nine rounds of Tabata, 40 seconds work, 20 seconds rest:
    flutter kicks, squats, merkins, LBC’s, lunges (front to back), shoulder tap merkins, hello dollies, side lunges, and Maktars.
    Time got away from YHC, and we started the run back to the flag at 7:30. The PAX assumed the 40 theme was being taken to the extreme with a 7:40 finish, but despite YHC’s birthday priveleges, breaking protocol (on purpose) is prohibited.

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.
    YHC was surprised by a gift from the PAX presented by Paradox: a gift-wrapped, monogrammed coupon! I’m not sure whether to mount it over the mantle or to use it exclusively at all following beatdowns, but I was deeply touched and continue to be grateful that these men are willing to stay the path of hard growth with me week after week. The brotherhood is deep and much appreciated, gents!
    P.S. Heck of a job, Yankee Joe! He may have “booted” multiple times, but in returning today after having been out for months, he pushed through and finished strong, and YHC is honored to now be a member of the 40-and-over club with him.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Speed Checked By Radar – from Goose

    When YHC was driving home last night, I noticed a large speed checking radar display set up in the neighborhood, and this morning’s beatdown materialized around it. It was only a matter of coming up with how to make it work with only one man sprinting and the rest not just standing and watching, like on The Office: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OYKsYJY3cw.
    Here’s how it went down:

    Warmup: the usual suspects, but added Peter Parker Peters to warm up the groin, hip flexors, abs, etc. to prep for multiple sprints at max speed.

    Moseyed about a quarter mile in a brand new direction. Enron and Paradox knew better than to ask questions, but all became clear once the radar picked us up from afar and started flashing single digit numbers. Office quotes flowed forth (“31! You saw it! It said 31!”), and shoes were tied a little tighter.
    As one man sprinted past the sign (75 yards or so) and ran backwards back to start, the other two did AMRAP (as many reps as possible) of one of the following exercises: Carolina Dry Docks, toe touches, shoulder/toe taps, windmills, side squats, Freddy Mercurys, Moroccan Night Clubs, air presses, and big boy situps. Each man sprinted three times.
    The highest clocked speed was 18mph, though all three were close. The radar gave the PAX a reason to push to the max, multiple times, which was an awesome experience. The long mosey back to the flag was a much appreciated chance to breathe, especially since sufficient oxygen would be hard to come by for the remainder of the beatdown.

    Arrived back at the flag, and YHC asked for two 10-counts so as to prep for what YHC knew would be a wind-sucker: Burpee Jackass Webbs on the bandstand followed by 11’s on the field.
    Burpee Jackass Webbs consists of a building ratio of 1 burpee to 2 donkey kicks up against the columns. Starting at 1 burpee and 2 donkey kicks, we stopped the brutality at 5 and 10. There are a small number of routines where burpees are the break, and this is very much one of them.
    11’s: Merkins on one end of the field, step-ups on the other (2 is 1), running in between. After sprints and donkey burps, this one was rough. YHC was glad to see the manly combination of competitiveness and camaraderie keeping all three of us at about the same grueling pace.
    Finished with about four minutes left for Mary: 20 flutter kicks, 15 wife pleasers, 15 Aus. sweat angels, 20 Scuba Steves.

    It was a tough one, but it provided for a memorable experience of deep accompaniment in the midst of pushing limits. It was an honor to do this one with these HIMs, though the rest of you guys were missed! Hope to see more of you in the gloom this week!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • 35s and 5/19s – Birthday Beatdown – from Enron

    YHC rolled up to the stage only to be greeted with 35th Birthday wishes from Percleator, Cardinal, and Paradox. I instructed them that we would need to unload not only bricks, but hoping that Goose would arrive soon, coupons as well. As Goose arrived, dangerously close to 5:30, the work began. YHC instructed the PAX that todays beatdown would be inspired by his newly acquired age, 35, or birthdate 05/19/87.

    PAX: Enron, Cardinal, Goose, Paradox, Perclator

    Warmup: the usual plus a couple with a mosey to the bumper then to the stop sign afterwards – SSH, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, Grass Grabbers, IW

    Thang 1 and only 1: Grab bag 35s or 5/19/87s
    YHC picked up the “birthday” gift bag after quickly informing the PAX that he took some ridicule from his wife for using a Christmas decorated bag in the Birthday Beatdown. Appealing to Cardinals love of chance games, the following exercises were placed on strips of paper and placed in the bag. PAX took turns pulling the “gifts”, reading aloud, and then the group performing that gift. Most of the exercises were done on your own rep timing. This took the entire rest of the beatdown.
    35 Merkins
    5 Burpees 19 Squats 87 Night Clubs
    35 Yard Bear Crawl
    35 Yard Sprint
    35 Yard Crab Walk
    35 Yard Mosey
    35 Second Break
    35 Second Break
    35 Brick Shoulder Tap
    35 Dying Brick Roaches
    35 Coupon Curls
    35 Bonnie Blairs
    35 Squat Jumps
    5 Squat Jumps & 19 Coupon Curls 87 Self Love
    35 SSH
    35 Brick Butterflies
    35 Floyd Mayweathers with Bricks
    35 Big Boy Situps
    5 Blockies 19 Freak Nastys
    35 Coupon Presses
    35 Imperial Walkers
    35 Grass Grabbers
    5 Merkins 19 Freddie Mercuries 2=1
    35 Burpees
    35 Yard Coupon Carry
    35 Brick Moroccan Night Clubs
    5 Box Jumps 19 Incline Merkins
    5 Step Ups 2=1 19 Box Jumps
    35 Skull Crushers
    35 Curls
    35 Butt Kicks
    35 High Knees
    35 Wind Mills
    5 – 8 Ct Body Builders 19 Big Boy Situps
    35 Monkey Humpers
    35 Yard Mosey
    5 Squat Jumps – 19 Overhead Presses
    35 Wife Pleasers
    35 second Plank
    35 Second Al Gore
    35 Apolo Ohno’s 1=1
    35 Penguins 2=1
    35 LBCs
    35 Leg Raises
    35 Flutter Kicks =1
    Dealers Choice
    Dealers Choice
    Dealers Choice
    Dealers Choice

    COT and Goose prayed us out. It was a great experience getting to celebrate with these guys today. Thanks for the birthday wishes.

    Till next time in the Gloom,

    Enron

  • Coupon Love – from Goose

    YHC was too lazy to unload the coupons from the truck after yesterday, so we used them again this morning. A lot.
    PAX: Paradox, Paradiddle, Elmer’s, Tighty Whitey, and Goose

    Warmup: SSH, WM, AC, IW, SL, all while staring at the ominous pile of blocks on top of the hill.

    Thang 1: Hazy 8’s
    Partnered up at the bottom of the hill for three rounds of the following:

    -Round 1: Partner 1 did 8-count body builders until Partner 2 rifled carried his block up the hill, did 12 overhead presses, and carried it back down. Flapjack.

    -Round 2: Partner 1 did figure 8’s (swing coupon around and through the legs in a figure 8, switching hands; like with a basketball, but it’s heavy concrete with sharp corners–many jokes about clearance), while Partner 2 ran to the cross at the top of the other hill and completed 10 genuflections before running back. Flapjack.

    -Round 3: Partner 1 did Dr. W’s (8-count ab exercise–look it up), while Partner 2 did Block and Bear (bear crawl while dragging the block between the legs/arms every few steps) up the hill and ran down. Flapjack.

    Thang 2: Indian Running with a Rifle

    PAX lined up for an Indian Run, but the man in front kept a block overhead in rifle carry position until the last man in line did 5 merkins and caught up to relieve him. It was great. We’ll definitely revisit that one.

    Thang 3: Bridge of Coupon Hate, Tunnel of Coupon Love

    -Round 1: PAX on their backs, shoulder to shoulder, handed all five blocks over, conveyor belt style, back and forth a few times.

    -Round 2: PAX got shoulder to shoulder in plank position and pulled the coupons through the tunnel with one hand, and then back through with the other. Rinse and Repeat three times.

    We filled the last 5 minutes with Colt 45’s, Bolt 45’s (15 curls/goblet squats respectively from mid to high, 15 low to mid, and 15 low to high) and some Mary: gas pumps, LBC’s, wife pleasers, Australian sweat angels, and Scuba Steve’s.

    COT with lots of details on the upcoming St. Vincent 500 (Aug. 12-13 at The Stage) and lots of sizable prayer intentions. Tighty prayed us out.
    It was an awesome experience breaking these guys into some new coupon work and grinding them out together. Thanks for joining, fellas!

    See You in the Gloom,
    Goose

  • The Dawn of Darth Kilo – from Kilo

    As YHC was prepping for his VQ the night before, an all-out manhunt was conducted in search of Lifejacket. The search spanned far and wide from the deserts of Tatooine, to the seas of Kimino, and finishing in the dreaded lava rivers of Mustafar. The treacherous search bore no fruit. YHC concluded the search with the solemn realization that Lifejacket had vanished like a cowardly sidekick when it came time for its dual against the legendary duo, Anker and JBL. YHC made his concessions and altered his plans as necessary.

    YHC pulled up at The Peltch to 6 eager, yet cautious, PAX. They had no idea what was required to properly prepare in advance for Star Wars Day, May the Fourth, but YHC had arrived to show them the way with both a red and a blue lightsaber in hand.

    Warmup: X-Wings (SSH), Darth Mauls (WM), General Grievous (AC), IW, Anakin’s Mom (Self-Love)

    Thang 1:
    Imperial March (High Knee Mosey) to the Thunderdome. Right from the start, this proved to be much more difficult than YHC expected. Worried for what was to come, Paradox made a suggestion to Mos Eisley (Normal Mosey) when it came time to depart the Thunderdome. The merciful YHC took note, but would remember the Imperial March for later use.

    Star Wars Trivia: 15 questions, each with their own exercise. A correct answer decreased that exercise by half.
    • 40 X-Wings
    • 30 Mountain Climbers (2 is 1)
    • 20 Merkins
    • 30 Freak Nastys
    • 30 Jar Jars (flutter kicks)
    • 20 Burpees
    • 30 – second mid plank
    • 40 squats
    • 20 BBS
    • 20 leg raises
    • 60 – second wall sit
    • 30 X-Wings
    • 20 Merkins
    • 30 Freak nastys
    • 30 LBCs
    YHC was generally pleased with the level of Star Wars knowledge held by the PAX, but was thoroughly impressed by Cardinal’s ability to summon the knowledge and wisdom of the Jedi Order when threatened with Burpees.

    Thang 2:
    Mos Eisley (Mosey) to the chimney.

    AT-AT Race (Bear Crawl Race): PAX AT-AT raced back and fourth multiple times between lightsaber markings (about 30 yards apart). This yielded much suffering from the Padawan PAX. Two 10-Counts were necessary to deter mass asphyxiation.

    Thang 3:
    Light Side / Dark Side: (Basically like “Never have I Ever” but begins with “Sith Lords have…”). 10 questions. Sith Lords do full exercise, Jedi do half.
    • Sprint to Chimney
    • 40 X-Wings
    • 20 Burpees
    • 20 BBS
    • 20 Jar Jars
    • 20 Burpees
    • 40 Squats
    • 20 Mountain climbers (2 is 1)
    • 20 BBS
    • 30 – Second MI Plank
    YHC was pleasantly surprised to see that the majority of PAX were on very similar moral ground.

    Mos Eisley through Thunderdome and back to the Flag for a solid 5 minutes of MARY.

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.

    Thank you for bearing with me on my VQ. I hope it was as enjoyable for all of you as it was for me. Darth Kilo has shown his face…and Darth Kilo will return.

    See You in the Gloom,
    Kilo

  • Dagobah – from Paradox

    Dense bayou gloom surrounded the stage this morning for what was planned to be a traditional beatdown. YHC and JBL were in the middle of some light stretching when a bus full of PAX arrived: Eminem, Led Zeppelin, the Peppers, AC/DC, and Axel Rose stepped off a tricked-out tour bus and a thunderous rock beatdown commenced.

    Warmorama: Traditional Goose warmup (SSH, WM, IW, AC, cherry pickers, self-love plus a bumper mosey.

    The Thang
    25 squats then bear crawl to the top of the stage for 15 freak nasties , high knee back repeato x4
    4×4 merkin/mountain climbers then track lap repeato until playlist was done

    Thunderstruck Finisher – high knees, squats on Thunder
    Mary with 5 reps bicycle, 5 reps LBC repeat during

    COT , Axel prayed us out, and the tour bus disappeared into the gloom.

    Moleskin:
    With the fog plus Kilos epic star wars beatdown fresh in my mind I couldn’t help but imagine this was jedi training on Dagobah with JBL as my Yoda.

    See ya in the next gloom fellas
    Paradox

  • Nowhere to Hide – from Goose

    It’s tough when FNG’s come on weekdays. Smaller number of PAX means there’s nowhere to hide when you’re just trying to survive, but the soon to be named Roughneck never gave up despite the feeling of drowning that we all remember too well from our own first beatdowns. With YHC, Paradox, and Kilo mumblechattering about highlights from the Zoorich Classic on Saturday and crazy lingo being tossed about in the midst of grunting and sweating, it was with great interior fortitude that Roughneck remained smiling and in good humor to the end.

    Warmup (all in cadence, x20) side straddle hops, windmills, arm circles, imperial walkers, self-love

    Thang 1: Robot Dance (?)
    -Song 1: “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel–plank position for the entirety, but every time we heard “In Your Eyes”, we shifted to the next position in the following order: high plank, mid plank, mission impossible plank, back to mid, back to high, right arm up, left arm up, back to high plank, etc. This one’s over five minutes long, but it felt shorter due to mumblechatter about it likely being a catalyst/accompaniment for the conception of more than one of the PAX back in the 80’s, as well as a history lesson on the connection between Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins. This PAX has much to learn.
    -Song 2: “Banana Boat (Day-O)” by Harry Belafonte–similar, but with squats. Every time he said “Day” shift to the next position: standing, mid squat, low squat, mid, back to high, etc. The PAX had much to learn here, as well, about the origins of this song and the experience of banana harvesters. YHC is happy to provide some cultural exposure to these millenial zombies.

    Thang 2: Four corners/Baseball
    1 PAX stationed at each corner of the field (bases) and did as many reps as possible (AMRAP) of the following exercise while PAX at “home plate” completed 15 burpees and ran to 1st, then each advanced to the next base once replaced:
    1st base: merkins
    2nd: squats
    3rd: Big Boy Situps
    Continued until all four PAX had a chance to do burpees at home plate.

    Thang 3: Benchwork
    2 PAX per bench, completed the following, in cadence x20: dips, L-leg step-ups, Irkins, R-leg step-ups, Derkins. Then, rinse and repeat x15. (1:1 for all).

    Back to the flag for Mary: LBC’s, Leg Raises, Freddy Mercury’s

    COT and named the FNG–Welcome Roughneck! Great to have you, man! Awesome work, and looking forward to growing with you!

    See You in the Gloom,
    Goose

  • Highway to the Danger Zone – from Paradox

    “I guess it comes down to a simple choice, get busy living or get busy dying”- Andy Dufrene

    “Owens, you have to stop opening essays with Shawshank Redemption quotes”- YHC’s Junior English teacher

    Birthdays make YHC emotional. This is a known fact. A day for self-deprecating humor about YHCs body breaking down but also a time of reflection and gratitude for everyone in my life.
    YHC arrived at the stage with perfect F3 weather and made a few laps around the track reflecting on lessons learned in a whirlwind of 34 years. The lone lights of a familiar Tundra cut through the gloom and YHCs sensei/F3 mentor joined the fray. The flag was planted and a two-man birthday beatdown commenced.

    Warm Up
    34 SSH, 20 IW, AC, Cherry Pickers, High Knees, Butt Kicks -Bumper to Stop Sign Mosey

    The Thang- 5 Rules of Aging

    Rule #1 Recognize your Danger Zone
    YHC is approaching the age where things start to break. Physical fitness is vital when entering the health danger zone and F3 has been a gamechanger for consistency and accountability in this department.
    JBL played “Danger Zone” by Kenny Loggins- Burpees on Danger Zone, Windmills on the rest then a lap around the track

    Rule #2 Cleanse the Palate
    As the years pass its very easy to pick up baggage. These stick to us like barnacles inhibiting progress and growth.
    We added an exercise each round to represent the yearly barnacles with a track lap in between as the cleanser.

    Round 1: 4 reps of 4X4: 4 Merkins, 4 mountain climbers, back to stand position with hands up- that’s 1
    Round 2 added 21s (all clear 2/3 rounds, let my mind wander once and we paid 5 burpees)
    Round 3 added 34 calf raises.
    Round 4 added 88 lbcs

    Rule #3 Stop and Smell the Roses
    YHC has been learning to step off the hamster wheel and look around. God has filled our life with Graces waiting to be accepted.
    We completed a round of Protractors. Start on your 6 in leg raise position, increased elevation slowly and incrementally by alternating the count until we reached 90 degrees. We both found it difficult to keep up with this cadence and many numbers were repeated. Went round 2 with low and slow squats.

    Rule #4 We are all in the same Boat
    F3 has given me a great sense of companionship with fellow 30- and 40-year-old washed up fart sackers. At the end of the day we are all rowing the boat together.
    Alternated Bar lunges with 10 merkins from the stage to the benches.

    Rule #5 If you get knocked down, get back up
    No lengthy discourse here. ChumbaWamba did the talking.
    JBL provided a thunderous rendition of “TubThumping” while we got down and got back up roughly 34 times with high knees for the rest. This one was dedicated to Enron.

    Just enough time for an additional #rule 6, spend some time with Mary.
    20 Wife Pleasers
    Goose led Lazy Boys
    20 Penguins

    Grateful for the camaraderie and leadership opportunities that F3 provides. Solid way to start the bday festivities and get a jump on the next 34 years.

    Announcements and plans for attending the Zoorich Classic.
    Prayers for upcoming events
    COT and Goose prayed us out

    Till then next Gloom
    -Paradox

  • Holy Saturday and a Visit from a Forefather – from Goose

    As the PAX slowly trickled in at the Peltch on the morning of Holy Saturday, we tried to guess whose car was pulling in as soon as we could see the headlights down the road. But one car mystified us, even as it pulled to a stop in the parking lot–was it another one of Tighty Whitey’s FNG’s showing up nervously without him? Or, was it an overly excited little league coach coming to set up his dugout a few hours early? We were way off. White hair was the first thing to become clear in the gloom, and then a Run Cajun Run shirt–could it be? Yes!! It was Reluctant Yankee! I had the distinct pleasure of directing the following proclamation to the PAX, “Gentlemen, this is the founder of F3 NOLA, and today he has deigned to join us bayou PAX for our humble beatdown at The Peltch.” YHC would have preferred to have some trumpeters, a red carpet, and a scroll to read from, but all we had was Coyote, my 10-year-old 2.0, who rattled off as many F3 terms as he could think of (“fartsack” came up multiple times).
    Ultimately, 12 PAX, including an FNG, were present as we commenced a Holy Saturday themed beatdown.

    Warmup: SSH, WM, AC, Cherry Pickers, IW, high knees, butt kicks

    Thang 1:
    Moseyed to the Thunderdome for a Flora 1, 2, 3 and a couple of songs. The theme was uncomfortable waiting–Jesus is lying dead in a dark, stone tomb, and we’re waiting with him.
    Partnered up for the Flora (waiting in uncomfortable positions while your partner completes his reps):
    1. Partners split 100 dips, each does 10 at a time while the other holds dip position (down).
    2. 200 air presses in people’s chair against the columns, 20 at a time while other holds chair position.
    3. 300 flutter kicks, 30 at a time while other holds legs six inches off the ground.

    Song 1: “While I’m Waiting” by John Waller–held plank for the duration (almost 5 min.) and 3 mountain climbers (2:1) every time he said “Waiting” (90 mountain climbers total). YHC’s calves are still sore.
    Song 2: “The Final Countdown” by Europe–side straddle hops for the duration (over 5 min.) and three Bonnie Blairs (1:1) for every “Final Countdown” (over 50 total).

    Thang 2: Empty Tomb
    When the disciples saw/heard the tomb was empty, the waiting/difficulty wasn’t immediately relieved. There were questions, confusion, running, freaking out, etc. So, the PAX lined up at the first of three cones and completed 20 Chinooks (arm circles over the head) to represent the women freaking out and telling the disciples the tomb was empty, and then sprinted to the second cone to represent to apostles running to the tomb, and then army crawled from there to the third cone (crawling into the tomb to check it out).
    Repeated this 5 times (and gained some souvenir brush burns in the process).
    Then, all PAX ran backward to the last cone and back followed by carioca to the last cone and back.
    Then, partnered up and PAX 1 ran backward from the first cone to the third, and PAX 2 sprinted to try to catch him once he reached the second cone (like Peter trying to catch up with John). Flapjack and then rinse and repeat.

    Indian Run around the park gave YHC a chance to chatter with Yankee a bit about F3 leadership, followed by some substantial Mary at the flag. Tried to include 10 Absolutions, a somewhat complicated 8-count plank exercise, which failed miserably, leading to the obvious lesson that absolution (cleansing from sin) can’t be earned. Other exercises were crunchy frogs, wife pleasers, leg raises, and a couple of other things, I think.

    Count off, name off, and named our FNG Neanderthal–welcome!! Announcements included a push to hop in the clown car headed to the Northshore for the Zoorich Classic this Saturday, and Kilo prayed us out. Thanks, gents, for letting me lead, and huge thanks to Reluctant Yankee for the surprise visit!

    SYITG,
    Goose