F3 New Orleans

Tag: Paradox

  • Legends Never Die – from Yankee Joe

    “Gramps, tell us a story.”

    “Girls, it’s time for bed, but alright, one quick story.”

    “Yay! Tell us the one about the great race!”

    “The great race? Which one was that?”

    “You know…the one about Mother Goose and some guy Tapping a Wet Pope. You know, when you let them win.”

    “Ahhh yes. The St. Vincent of Catan race of 2023. When America’s Best and I bestowed magnanimous mercy upon Goose, Wet Tap and Pope as they neared the finish line.

    “That’s it! Wasn’t there also something about you and Captain America being betrayed by Superman and a three-star restaurant rating system?”

    “Hahaha…good memory. Yes, Superfun(d) and Michelin, having just received a gracious and merciful gift from me and America’s Best, then promptly turned around and hit us with a heat seeking red turtle shell…10 yards from the finish line! You know, those were strange days. That race would prove to be the spark that finally ignited the F3 Thibodaux coup led by Paradox. It ultimately led to the secession from F3 New Orleans. Strange times indeed.”

    “Wasn’t there also some Viking at an ‘all you can eat’ buffet that missed exercising because they were always pickling their balls?”

    “Ummm…no. Ohhh…yes…Picadilly and Montana! They did not miss all the time because of pickleball…well not Picadilly anyway. Kids, do me a favor and don’t use that word order in front of your parents. Anyway, back to the race…try to imagine this…

    —————————
    Chapter 1: The Beginning

    It was a bright and humid Saturday morning. Your Gramps had been up all night trying to craft the perfect beatdown. With the approach of our second St. Vincent de Paul 500 race, it was time that the PAX get serious about being in shape. We were all soft. Even Mother Goose. It was clear we needed some competition, individual suffering, and opportunities to both hurt and help our fellow PAX.

    I looked everywhere for inspiration. Nothing. Then it hit me. I’d look at the absolute monarchical dictatorships in history…surely, there would be something I could use. And wouldn’t you know it? Germany and Japan both delivered with The Settlers of Catan and Mario Kart respectively. Who woulda thunk it. ‘Merica!

    “Gramps, what does ‘Merica mean?”

    “It means mud tires, aluminum cans, and freedom. Now shut yer mouths.”

    ———————–
    Chapter 2: The Gloom

    As we were gathering, Paradox brought an FNG who would later be dubbed Safety Valve. Goose’s fourth 2.0 to make an F3 appearance settled on Duke, and Paradox’s own 2.0 walked away with Gecko. Strong names. The PAX continues to grow. See coup reference above. Most impressive was the fact we had SEVEN 2.0’s!

    Perhaps, just as exciting was the late arrival of Frank n’ Beans and then as if from Goose’s lips to God’s ears, who should pull into the parking lot in the silver bullet? No, it can’t be. Can it? HORRRRRRRRNNNNNNNN! 78 fart sacks later and he made sure to show up 5 minutes late. Hey, you gotta stay on brand.

    Quick and tentative disclaimer by yours truly for the pledges and away we went.

    We finished the usual Waramarama reps, chose partners, and moseyed to the main Peltch field. As we moseyed, YHC took a detour so that the PAX could be inspired by Gwen Stefani’s epic ballad, Hollaback Girl. It was a song that got dropped from a previous beatdown…to Honeysuckle and America’s Best great disappointment I might add. However, YHC was always a gracious and selfless Q, so, you’re welcome.

    We then switched over to bagpipes blaring with ‘Scotland the Brave’, made a few pointless detours in the rec center parking lot – to ruffle some Goose feathers – and made our way to the shart show.

    At this point, Safety Valve was looking at Paradox and asking himself, “I didn’t trust this loon when he was my cadaver instructor, so why the heck did I get in the car with him this morning?”

    “Gramps…what’s a shart?”

    “Well kids, when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object…”

    [from the next room] “DAD!!!! DON’T YOU DARE!”

    “Sorry, Honey. Sheesh. That explanation would have been celebrated in certain men’s workout circles. Annnyway…

    ———————
    Chapter 3: The Setup

    “There would be 10 stations, each station with two types of exercises to be completed by both partners. In order to “buy in” to the exercises at each station, partner 1 had to lunge walk with a coupon while the other partner spiderman crawled (dubbed that day as the ‘leopard gecko crawl’) to the next station. Then one partner would nur (run backward) to the starting line and sprint back to whichever station the team was on, while the other partner completed 15 burpees. ONLY THEN, could the team begin their two exercises (not naming namesl , typically in quantities of 100 or 50. Repeato for 10 stations, 10 yards apart for a total of 100 yards.

    ***If completed in its entirety, a team would complete 150 burpess, one mile of nurs/sprints, and 1,700 reps of various exercises.***

    To make things interesting, each team had one “sucks to be you” card that would be revealed at a station. This meant that after the team had completed their exercises, they would have to complete a designated additional amount of reps.

    Also, each team held a heat seeking shell that could be deployed against any other team. When called out, the team getting hit by the shell had to drop everything and sprint to and from the nearest park bathroom…roughly 200 yards.

    To balance this out, each team also had an IM3 card that could be deployed to help another team out by taking away one station “buy ins” of nur, sprint and burpees.

    Finally, the Q had wildcards called “Dancemodes” that would be yelled out to one PAX member who in turn had to stop and dance to the existing music. The music. Ah yes. Some of the music was good. Some of it was well…atrocious. Effective though. Ace of Base ‘I Saw the Sign’ will take your mind off thrusters in a heartbeat. Actually, most would prefer the thrusters.

    ————————
    Chapter 4: The Contest

    “The race started off in good form with all teams keeping pace through three stations. The exception was Coyote who continued to live as an outlaw from the Form Police, while racking up Academy Awards for his uncannily well timed trash talking to grown men in the last throes of burpee death. Goose, Pope and Wet Tap began to pull away if only by a few yards. There seemed to be misplaced exercise cards, but we overlooked their indiscretion since Goose was still nursing a banged up wing and Wet Tap was wearing a weighted vest. Nuff said.

    The first Dancemode came with the last minute addition of the 2023 Barbie song by Nikki Minaj. When YHC heard that Horn was watching the cinematic masterpiece the night before, the song was hastily added to the playlist. Horn would not disappoint. The entire PAX sat in amazement as he reminded us that though he may have the pop culture knowledge of a 50 year old, he was indeed a Gen Z’er.

    Meanwhile, heat seeking shells were being tossed around liberally. Coyote’s trash talk was intensifying, and YHC was getting grumpy with Goose & Co.’s interpretation of the race regulations. You gotta watch Pope, boi. He’ll fire off 15 burpees quicker than you can say, “I’m 45 years old…why am I here?”

    The second Dancemode was equally inspiring. With Friday Night Lights pregame speeches rejuvenating our spirits, Goose brought the Peltch down to ‘Clear Eyes, Full Heart, Can’t Lose’…from the shopping cart to the sprinkler to the Dougie. Or maybe he was popping. No, he was definitely locking. Whatever he was doing, two things were clear. 1) There’s such a thing as being cool and 2) it ain’t me.

    Some IM3’s began to emerge, first from the Goose/Wet Tap/Pope team to the Paradox/Safety Valve/Gecko group. Then reciprocated – albeit shamefully. Here, I realized that a NASCAR strategy had unfolded and we had a team car mucking up the pack so that the lead car could pull away. As YHC was swatting away this conspiracy theory, Goose hit the Yankee/America’s Best Team with a heat seeker.

    Conspiracy confirmed. Hell hath no fury like that of a Yankee scorned.

    On the far side of the pitch, Popeye and Honeysuckle were methodically keeping pace with the Goslings. They didn’t even seem to be breathing hard…like they were at a nice picnic doing merkins occasionally, while enjoying mimosas, crackers, and pepper jelly.

    To that end, the third Dancemode was probably the best thing to ever hit the Peltch. YHC called on Honeysuckle, and my man, with a smile on his face (I’m scared of his eventual VQ), dropped it like it’s hot. He would have kept going, if for nothing else but to give the PAX a rest. A good man.

    ————————

    “Gramps, were you a good dancer?”

    “Well, put it this way. The great Bill Belichick once said, ‘I don’t think you can ever really trust a man who likes to dance.’ Of course, this was coming from a hall of famer legend worth millions and yet he still felt wearing sweatshirts with cut off sleeves was a good look on game day.”

    “Soooo…does that mean you weren’t a good dancer, Gramps?”

    “Noooo…what I’m saying is that you can’t really trust me.”

    ———————-

    Chapter 5: The Betrayal

    “At this point, all teams were within four stations of the finish line. In YHC and America’s Best unending and selfless charity, we bestowed an IM3 upon Superfun(d) and Michelin. We knew they would be forever grateful. That is, until a few minutes later when they blew us to hell with a heat seeker. I laughed at first. It wasn’t a joke. A scorned Yankee, I tell you.

    As YHC was running back to Station 9 from the unforgivable treachery, I realized there were 90 seconds left in the beatdown. As I neared Goosilini and his fascist conspirators, I asked if they could cross the finish line before time ran out. The answer was a resounding YES. I then reminded them our team was sitting on a heat seeker, which would prevent them from finishing…that is, prevent them from winning. Goose protested with exasperation. We held their fate in our hands.

    ———————-

    “Oh my gosh! What did you all do, Gramps? That must have been such a difficult decision.”

    “Well, you would think so, but no. We kept the shell in its bay and let the clock run out. That day, YHC and America’s Best chose to give life, not take it away. Such is the path of heroes. This is the way.

    We then moseyed back to the flag, soaking in Gwen and Nikki. FNGs were named, prayers were raised up, especially for smooth and his family, and French Horn prayed us out.

    ———————

    Epilogue

    “So, there you go girls. That was the infamous day. The day the good music died. The day that Paradox turned the corner on spreading his wings to fly as a member of the senior leadership team.

    It was a hard and brutal affair. The men persevered without (much) complaining or double crossing allies.

    “What an amazing story! Gramps, were you a hero?”

    “No, sweetheart, but I served with a whole PAX of heroes.

    (Record abruptly stops)

    “Wait….that’s Band of Brothers”

    (Start soundtrack again)

    “Gramps, what happened to Goose? What about the rest of the Pax?”

    “It was weird that Goose had said F3 was like the John Paul II of workouts and his oldest son’s name ended up being John Paul. None of us could ever figure out what that meant, but we were all amazed by it.

    I kept in touch with those guys over the years and I found out that Enron’s company had shipped him off to federal prison. After that, he became one of the pioneering developers of fraud protection software . Of course, we all know why.

    French Horn… well…The Horn got really into fartsacking and no one ever saw him again. Honeysuckle and America’s Best became an engineer and optometrist. They started out small, carpooling together to F3 workouts. But they became legends when they invented the F3 shuttle service.

    Goose grew up and married Wendy Peffercorn. They have 9 kids. They bought St. Vincent’s de Paul’s Drug Store and they still own it to this day. Paradox Porter became a professional DJ. You know him as “The Great BAPSbino”.

    Montana played Triple A pickleball, but he never got to the majors. He’s a drug dealer now and he coaches a seniors pickleball team called, “The Tanimals”.

    Yankee’s Prius lived to be 25 years old… uh, in douche wagon years. I was the last one to move away. But when I did, the Peltch was still there. After Goose pickled Tana that day, his reputation spread all over town. From then on, he was known as “Dolly Poppins,” and the nickname stuck with him for the rest of his life.”

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

    ———————
    Station 10:
    100 groiners, coup run back to base
    100 squat jumps, nur
    Buy-in: Nur to start line, 15 burpees
    Transport: Coupon lunge, leopard gecko walk

    Station 9:
    P1: 50 coupon side to sides
    P2: 100 plank jacks
    Buy-in: Nur to start line, 15 burpees
    Transport: Coupon lunge, leopard gecko walk

    Stations 8:
    P1: 50 apollo ono’s 2:1
    P2: 100 coupon flutters 2:1
    Buy-in: Nur to start line, 15 burpees
    Transport: Coupon lunge, leopard gecko walk

    Station 7:
    P1: 50 gas pumps
    P2: 100 coupon presses
    Buy-in: Nur to start line, 15 burpees
    Transport: Coupon lunge, leopard gecko walk

    Station 6:
    P1: 100 merkins
    P2: 100 coupon leg lifts
    Buy-in: Nur to start line, 15 burpees
    Transport: Coupon lunge, leopard gecko walk

    Station 5:
    P1: 50 goblet squats
    P2: 100 freddy mercs 2:1
    Buy-in: Nur to start line, 15 burpees
    Transport: Coupon lunge, leopard gecko walk

    Station 4:
    P1: 50 thrusters
    P2: 100 chilcutt peter parkers 1:1
    Buy-in: Nur to start line, 15 burpees
    Transport: Coupon lunge, leopard gecko walk

    Station 3:
    P1: 100 coupon overhead presses
    P2: 100 SSHs (a type of exercise)
    Buy-in: Nur to start line, 15 burpees
    Transport: Coupon lunge, leopard gecko walk

    Station 2:
    P1: 100 coupon curls
    P2: 50 V-ups
    Buy-in: Nur to start line, 15 burpees
    Transport: Coupon lunge, leopard gecko walk

    Station 1:
    P1: 100 plank jacks
    P2: 100 coupon LBC’s
    Buy-in: Nur to start line, 15 burpees
    Transport: Coupon lunge, leopard gecko walk

  • Dad Music: The Only Kind of Music That Matters – from Goose

    Anytime YHC is given the opportunity to take a Q with relatively short time to plan, that one Q idea that’s been eating at me, the one that keeps popping up every time I’m doing dishes or yardwork and that one song comes on demanding to be honored in the gloom, that’s the one that wins the day. There’s not enough time to work through the typical through process: “Nah, not that one; it looks like a lot of fun on paper, but these chumps wouldn’t appreciate it. Better do something a little more practical.” So, BAPS is requested at 4:50am, and Oontz ends up having to carry it. And carry it well if I do say so myself…and I do…say so myself.

    Alright, the warmup:
    The usuals, but Enron tried to take the moral high ground this time saying that somehow his count was the gold standard,despite the mumblechatter flowing forth like wine from his general area. Conflict continued for the duration as to who carried the rightful rep number, and truth was lost somewhere deep under the many layers of misplaced confidence. Tana was pleased.

    Mosey time led us to the first light at Rich Man’s Loop in a potential Indian Run formation. YHC then explained that we would be cycling through the following transportation methods at each light: run, nur (run backwards–you get it?), carioca L, carioca R, side shuffle L, side shuffle R. This started as pretty tough, but most of the PAX got in a groove toward the end, and it was a good way to warm up the system and work on some agility.

    Once back at the flag, YHC revealed that Name That Tune would carry us through the rest of the beatdown. This was the third installment of Name That Tune, and YHC was a little trepidatious after the last two–a bunch of young ‘uns knew very little, and many hints had to be given to save tired muscles and a drooping morale, both times. But, this time, with so many new guys north of 40 and with a possible French Horn (the mutant 21-year-old) in the mix, YHC was a little more confident we’d get through more than five songs. But, when Horn didn’t show and with America’s Best out of the country, I wondered if Jeaux, Honeysuckle, and Popeye would be able to carry all that extra weight. Well, as it turns out, they could have carried much, much more.

    The rules were as follows: an exercise would be executed for the duration of the song unless the PAX could identify the artist or the title, either of which would allow for stoppage halfway through. Identifying both would allow for a full stop, and we’d skip to the next one.
    Here’s the song list (it was shuffled, so not in this order) with exercises and results for each:

    * “Steppin’ Out” by Joe Jackson: Rocky Balboas on the curb–one of only two songs (sort of) that nobody knew either the title or the artist (top 5 in 1982). That was a rough 4:30.
    * “One Particular Harbor” by Jimmy Buffet: Moroccan Night Clubs–YHC fully expected that the PAX would pick up on Buffet’s voice, but no way anyone would get the title. Popeye and Honeysuckle nailed both before he even started singing. This is when I knew my list was in trouble.
    * “Solsbury Hill” by Peter Gabriel: OH clap–it took him a few seconds, but Honeysuckle pulled the title from somewhere deep, and Popeye followed immediately with the artist. Unbelievable.
    * “Walk of Life” by Dire Straits: hillbilly walkers–last night I though this one might carry all the way through, but by the time this one started this morning, I knew it was done for in the first few seconds; and it was.
    * “Kyrie” by Mr. Mister: genuflections–this one was the only one (besides “Stepping Out”) that went as expected. Nobody knows who Mr. Mister is.
    * “The Mountains Win Again” by Blues Traveler: step ups onstage–YHC wasn’t sure how deep into Blues Traveler this PAX may have ventured, but when Popeye shared openly that he’d shed a tear or two to this one in tenth grade, I knew I was finally among my people. He let it play out a bit just to reminisce and get some quad burn, but eventually shut it down before it got real.
    * “Boys of Summer”: BBSU–by this time, Popeye was just toying with us. He let this one linger halfway through, even giving the PAX what should have been some solid hints, but he ended up being the one to pull the trigger again after the second refrain.
    * “Higher Love” by Steve Winwood: OH press–this one actually played first, and Honeysuckle and Popeye blasted it with both barrels within the first two notes. YHC almost lost composure, but was able to hold it together and pretend that I had put that one on there as a gimme. I mean, Popeye was coming out with like middle names and birth dates and stuff.
    * “Home” by Marc Broussard: butt kicks–the title of this one was pretty self evident, but Tana came from out of nowhere with the artist within the first few seconds. This one was supposed to trip up the old guys since it’s a little more niche, but Tana swatted it like Mutombo.
    * “Paint it Black” by The Rolling Stones: calf raises–by the time this one came on, YHC already had his finger on the skip button. No hope.
    * “Drumline Cadence” Tiger Band: high knees (skipping cadence)–YHC knew this one didn’t stand much of a chance, but it’s fun. We came back to this one at the end and let it carry us out with a few minutes of cardio.
    * “Funk #49” by The James Gang: LBC’s–
    Honeysuckle: “Joe Walsh?”
    YHC: “Nope”
    HS: “Is that Joe Walsh?”
    YHC: “Nope”
    HS: “You sure that’s not Joe Walsh?”
    YHC: “Yep”
    HS: “That sounds like Joe Walsh.”
    YHC: “Nope”
    (After 4 minutes of funky guitar…)
    YHC (triumphantly): “That was Funk #49 by The James Gang”
    HS: “Wasn’t Joe Walsh the lead singer of The James Gang?”
    YHC: “Next song…”
    * “The Promise” by When in Rome: SSH–this one looked like it was gonna go all the way when Popeye had nothing and YJ was stuck on Duran Duran, but Honeysuckle was searching the dusty corners of his brain, and after a couple of minutes actually pulled this one out, title and artist. I’m still stunned.
    * “Take on Me” by a-ha: Peter Parkers–YJ, though I called him out at the end for his surprising lack of impact, he shot this one down with all speed once he heard what the exercise was. At least Paradox was grateful.
    * “Africa” by Toto: Freddy Merc–we had barely enough time to sit on the ground
    * “Lord of Hosts” by Shane and Shane: squats–This was Dox’s only contribution, but it took him about three quarters of the way through the song to give Tana enough information to spark old youth group memories, and the artist was identified. Not long afterward, the title was deduced, and squats were squashed.

    Thankfully, YHC created what had seemed like a much longer list than was necessary, so we only had to fill a few minutes at the end, but these dudes had me sweating, and they successfully brought about the easiest Goose Q on record. It was worth it, though, to know that I’m no longer alone. Not only did these guys know the music, they knew that it was good. Last week, Yank decried millenial music, but we still had to endure it–this week, we shunned it altogether and hopefully provided at least a few of the “kids these days” with some quality craftsmanship. You’re welcome.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • 80 Miles to Sante Fe – from Paradox

    What comes to mind when you think of the absolute cutting edge of human performance? Ultra marathons, Saturdiddles, special ops training, Cardinal crab walking … I’m talking the outer limits of human capabilities here. Well men I have a new challenging feat of strength to add to this pantheon of greatness. A rigorous 5 day crucible that tests the mind, body, spirit, and even Rouses endless supply of 100% juice capri suns.

    Some only live through it to tell the tale…
    That’s how I found myself shoulder to shoulder with Econoline this week at 8:15am on a casual Tuesday in the Chackbay Catholic center, awaiting our first rotation of children.
    There we stood at the game station like 2 young hobbits awaiting 10,000 orcs at Helms deep. (Jk jk your children are all angels )
    It was about to begin…
    The great battle of our time..
    Being group leaders at…
    VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL

    Duke put down that snack pack and roll the footage . It’s VBS week!

    Warmup
    The usuals with spikes of chatter with Tanas gigi arrival and Gooses wearing a crosscut necklace of cloth but mostly silent focus on preserving precious oxygen with furtive glances at YHCs entire cone collection in the big field being guarded by BAPs. Sooooon….

    To kickoff the shenanigans YHC explained the similarities between VBS stations and F3 and that we would train as group leaders today to get a taste of the action.

    Opening ceremony

    Needs to be high energy , get the blood pumping but also you need to run full speed backwards because you forgot your 2.0 shoes and he has not a care in the world of being barefoot in public.

    Indian run around the big loop with Nur to the front to take us to the Chimney.

    Game Station #1
    Hula Hoop Relay race

    Break into 3 teams
    1 team mate does hula hop to and around cone
    Rest of Team does 4 merkins, 4 sqats , 4 SSH , 4 BBSU (4x4x4x4 (tM)
    Until all complete and must slide the hula hoop down the line.
    Enron clearly ignored the PDF and instructional video YHC sent him about the 4x4x4x4 and he still had questions. Ya hate to see that from the self proclaimed smartest man in the room.
    In the end Team Goose took the title and gifted the losers with 25 monkey humpers, in an unrelated note we now cannot go within 100 feet of the St Joe carpool pickup line.

    To the tennis court

    Every great VBS must have catchy songs that get implanted into your brain and this week we talked with the kids a lot about listening to God for your call…

    Music Station #1
    “Call me maybe” by Carly Rae Jepsen
    1 Merkin on “maybe” and “baby “
    Holding plank in a circle of pax and Pass the Hula Hoop with hands and feet.
    if it’s on you during call me maybe then you do 3 merkins.
    The pax got pretty good at passing that hula at lightning speed and WetTap has even adopted this as his on call theme song.

    Arts and Crafts Station #1

    Another vital part of VBS is a crafting station and no craft session is complete without rock paper and scissors. Pax paired up for escalating rounds of Rochamburpee with 2 more burpees for the loser each round till we reached 12. Not sure how everyone faired here but it seemed like burpees were enjoyed by all.

    Mosey to the Thunder dome

    Music Station #2
    Over the past 2 years selecting “F3 songs” has become a cherished pastime at YHCs house. There’s no definitive criteria but you know a really good one when you hear it. YHC recently stumbled upon the #SWT (Ronnie would later figure out this was Songs With Triggers) channel of f3 slack and uncovered an absolute gem.
    I needed a song to represent this weeks teaching of finding a quiet place to pray and it just so happened that Dean Summerwind had provided directions to a quiet lake where we could park just 80 miles from Santa Fe.

    “Parked by the Lake “
    Dean Summerwind
    Hold Al Gore with
    Bonnie Blair’s on “Parked”
    Tin Soldiers on “Santa Fe”
    Squats on “Lake”

    I hope it met Popeyes high expectations. It will be added to my F3 Song Hall of Fame as Diddle proclaimed it both right and just.

    Game Station #2
    Duck- Duck Goose
    Pax plank up in a circle facing outward. One pax selects a “Goose” by running around and tapping them on the head while the pax knock out plank related exercises (Merkin, plank jacks, MCs)
    The real honker himself got us started and we had Some close battles here with the Dawson 2.0s showing some serious evasive maneuvers.

    Arts and craft Station #2
    – color our ABCs
    PAX on our six with legs up to spell out VACATION BIBLE SCHOOOL (those Os are just too fun)

    Mosey to big field and as we turned the corner BAPS was seen and one pax yelled “is Jeaux here?”
    A simple question but it nearly derailed me as I couldn’t shake the image of YJ crouched in his van with binoculars and 1980s spy equipment writing down notes and mumbling “I knew it” .
    I composed myself and we arrived safely at the Grand Finale.

    Every VBS ends with a grand finale Friday where you showcase everything you learned through the week. So YHC unveiled the ultimate VBS obstacle course
    We split into two teams started some SSH and each team let one pax into the race at a time until they got to the minefield.
    BAPS provided “the final countdown” and We raced through..

    1. Dizzy bat
    2. Lunges
    3. Merkin minefield with CrawlBears (5 merkins if you knock down a cone)
    4. Broad jump burpees
    5. Suicide Trifecta (Nur, Run, Carioca)
    We grabbed our ever growing pile of gear and moseyed back to the flag for people’s choice Mary to represent your kids showing you all the stuff they learned during the week.
    Dr Ws, Penguins, Fred Merk, fire hydrants , WW1 sit-ups with Yote till the buzzer.

    Count o Rama, NamoRama
    GiGi found a new home with Ronnie and the Animal went back to the Goose nest with concerns that Crosscut was on his last microfiber.

    COT with continued prayers for the St Pierre family
    Goose prayed us out

    NMM

    YHC has a special place in his heart for VBS. Growing up it was always the mark of deep summer and where the seeds of my faith were first planted. (It’s where I picked up a love for relay races and obstacle courses!)
    It’s also a great reminder to me to search for simple yet profound truths and to strive for a childlike faith. Grateful for the men of F3 as we help each other walk a straighter path.

    PPS (Pickleteria PostScript) sponsored by Joola

    Following the beatdown several Pax gathered at the thunderDome for the first ever Pickleteria . Tana and Dilly graciously provided the pickleGear and all the fixings for Americas fastest growing game. In a thrilling opening match Team Dawson narrowly took down Threat Level Midnight 11-2. Acting manager of TLM Ronnie Lillich was optimistic for the teams growth during the post match interview: “Dox has a floppy wrist, plain and simple,I was carrying him. His mind was boggled about the kitchen and he lost his composure”. Sounds like TLM is going through a “rebuilding year” but a lot of league experts say Dox had a dollar store paddle. Ya hate to pickle with that.
    Well , It’s safe to say that the pickle fever has spread rapidly and the only question left is ..same time next week?

    SYITG
    Dox

  • I Ain’t No Hollaback Q! – from Yankee Joe

    For the love of Pete! Kids, turn off that durn radio television thing! I can’t hear myself think. I’m trying to type a summary brief of my exercise regimen I did with some other fellers this morning.

    What? It’s not a TV, it’s a tablet? Are you stupid? Do you see a chisel? I don’t care if you’re bored. Go outside! In my day, we would play outside all day. Hell, we were forced to sleep outside with the dogs. We drank hose water and lit M80’s while holding them in our mouth. We punched each other in the groin to say hello and ate grass for a snack. AND we were damn GRATEFUL for it. Grateful I tell you! We were tough as nails!

    What’s that you say? You didn’t know the tinted glitter sunscreen was for Dad’s perfectly manscaped chest? I guess you expect me to drive a golf cart down 30A with un-coiffed chest hair?

    What? You didn’t know that blood orange Perrier came from a garden hose? Go back to Navarre Beach if you want La Croix. I’m not raising peasants here.

    What do you mean you’re scared of my avocado-cucumber bro-mask? You think this skin tone just HAPPENS? Now shut your cute little pie holes…I’m trying to decide which organic tea to brew before my online Pilates class. Freakin’ kids…the minute I break out my typewriter…

    —————————

    YHC was planning on maybe 5 – 8 PAX for a humid Tuesday Tuff. Paradiddle suggested that it was cute that YHC thought 8 was a big showing. The beatdown was optimistically built for 10. At 5:10, 8 PAX were mulling around…and then they kept coming (some in minivans, some in brand new Mercedes SUV’s). With a minute to spare, we hit 14! YHC quickly started recalculating (while panicking) the beatdown logistics. It was going to be messy. It didn’t help that Paradox was in YHC’s ear singing 8 mile lyrics. Was this my one chance to blow? Then a 15th figure strolling up. Another FNG! YAY, but holy crap!

    That said, WELCOME to Bone Thug! It’s nice to FINALLY have a medical professional in the PAX now. I can’t imagine walking up to 14 strangers in the dark. Thug’s F3 name seems appropriate on many levels.

    Also, it’s really inspiring to see Honeysuckle, A merica’s Best, and Popeye all turning into regulars and providing some much needed maturity. (Shut up, Paradox. You’re a thick candy shell.) Seriously, you guys bring great energy, mumblechatter, and in Suckle’s case, a bunch of cinderblocks. It should be notet that Popeye was a huge part of F3 Thibodaux gaining momentum in the first place. Huge T-Claps. I hope the fruits of your early labor were clear to see this morning (Goose’s pastel crop top notwithstanding).

    ——————————

    CONTEXT

    In the era of “millennial songs,” we were subjected to a never-ending barrage of mind-numbing, soulless, and insipid compositions that represent the epitome of artistic decay. These so-called “songs” epitomize everything that is wrong with the modern music industry, where substance is traded for superficiality, and originality is replaced by generic formulas that appeal to the lowest common denominator.

    Ok, ok…that’s a bit much…especially coming from a 44-year old YHC who at one time in 8th grade thought Young MC, Tone Loc, and Vanilla Ice were prophets; that “She Drives Me Crazy” by the Fine Young Cannibals spoke my truth, and that Z Cavariccis with 75 pleats (and tight rolled around the ankles) was THE fashion here to stay. Fast forward a few years, and we won’t even bring up Oasis, Dave Matthews Band, Counting Crows, or the Black Eyed Peas. Yikes.

    ——————————

    THEME

    ANYWAY, lately, there seems to have been some confusion about those anthems which define generations. Per usual, the Gen Xers and Gen Zers don’t really care. It’s the Millennials, however, who always seem to be BEARing a grudge against their foreBEARers.

    I don’t blame them. If I was coming of age with Avril Lavigne hitting the scene instead of Guns n Roses, or BEARing the brunt of songs like “I kissed a Girl” instead of “Even Flow,” or groups like Blink 182 instead of…well any other group…ever, I’d be harboring some deeply confusing issues too. I’d be BEARing my chest and screaming “WHY oh WHY?” Of course, I’m BEARly scratching the surface here. But seriously, Justin Bieber? Just unBEARable.

    So, as Paradox (fine, he’s a medical “professional”), who is diligent about the PAX wellbeing, would say…”The PAX needed healing.” BUT what kind of bridge could we bring to BEAR that would connect our generations? Could these 30-somethings BEAR to hear the truth? Or would we have to BEAR down and drop reality bombs? BEAR. BEAR. BEAR.

    YHC’s 2.0’s offered the answer as they sang along to ‘We’re Going on a Bear Hunt.” The story was originally introduced in a 1989 book and then remade in a 2015 cartoon, neatly connecting the Gen Xers, Millennials, Gen Zers, and every other group in between and following.

    So to take these important steps in healing, we’re going on a millennial…er I mean a BEAR hunt this morning. F3 style.

    Call it a journey through lyrical crap.

    —————————-

    THE BEATDOWN

    Thang 1: Climbing the Mountain (Stage to Sidewalk)

    We’re goin’ on a millennial hunt,
    We’re going to catch a big one,
    I’m not scared
    What a beautiful gloom!
    Oh look! It’s a scarrrry mountain shaped like a desperate cry for help!

    Can’t go under it,
    Can’t go around it,
    Got to go through it,
    Gotta go over it with a bunch of stupid coupon exercises!

    Burpee penalty – Avril Lavigne – Skatr Boi (penalty averted by Paradiddle)

    10 man makers (45 sec)
    20 overhead presses (40 sec)
    30 curls (20 sec)
    40 merkins (60 sec) /
    30 curls (20 sec)
    20 overhead presses (40 sec)
    10 man makers (45 sec)
    Al Gore cheering on SIX

    —————————–
    Thang 2 – Narrow Pass (Sidewalk to Stage)

    We’re goin’ on a millennial hunt,
    We’re going to catch a big one,
    I’m not scared
    What a beautiful gloom!
    Oh look! It’s a really narrow pass, so narrow, too narrow for north louisiana egoes to pass through!

    Can’t go over it,
    Can’t go under it,
    Can’t go around it,
    Got to go through it – with a crap load of leg exercises and burpees!

    Teams of 8
    First two teams Block and Bears to mid point; other teams chilcutt peter parkers
    – 20 apollo ono’s 2:1 – all (1 min)
    – 20 prisoner squats
    – 20 bonnies 2:1
    Block and Bears to Stage (next group goes when prior team begins last exercise)
    – Chilcutt peter parkers while waiting

    —————————-
    Punishment Song (just because) – LMFAO – I’m Sexy and I Know It
    – SSH on verses
    – Burpee on “look at that body”
    – Star jump on “I, I, I work out”
    – Hillbilly walkers on “I’m sexy and I know it”
    – Fast high knees on “wiggle, wiggle, wiggle”

    Coupon mosey to top track half point of field, roadside

    —————————–
    Thang 3 – Cross the field (Across short field, roadside)

    We’re goin’ on a millennial hunt,
    We’re going to catch a big one,
    I’m not scared
    What a beautiful gloom!
    Oh look! It’s a beautiful field full of the dying culture of 30 somethings!

    Can’t go over it,
    Can’t go under it,
    Can’t go around it,
    Got to murder bunny through it!

    Burpee penalty – Katy Perry – I Kissed a Girl (didn’t get a chance to play, because YHC is old and forgot)

    Murder bunny to halfway
    – 25 coupon LBCs
    – 25 coupon flutters (2:1)
    – 25 freddie mercs (2:1)
    Murder bunny to street

    ———————————
    Thang 4 – Traverse the River (Across street)

    We’re goin’ on a millennial hunt,
    We’re going to catch a big one,
    I’m not scared
    What a beautiful gloom!
    Oh look! It’s a raging river of passive aggressive Chackbay snark!

    Can’t go over it,
    Can’t go under it,
    Can’t go around it,
    Got to rifle carry coupons through it!

    Burpee penalty – Gwen Stefani – Holla Back Girl (didn’t play because of time constraints)

    Rifle carry/Groucho Walk (side to side squat) across street
    Mosey left to corner, leaving Cindies

    Uh, oh! It’s dark in here.
    I feel something,
    It has lots of quaffed hair!
    It’s soft like a douche bag! With two heads!
    AHHHHH It’s Justin Bieber and Sean Kingston!

    Song: Eenie Meenie (aka top five worst songs in history)
    – Plank jacks on intro (you need to read this crap)
    – Mtn Climbers on Mind, Time, Wind
    – Groiners on refrain

    —————————————
    COT, GiGi was passed from Superfun(d) to Paradox (again), we welcomed Bone Thug, and Wet Tap prayed us out.

    One of YHC’s research streams is around market segments and generational trends. Of course, it is helpful to have reference points as styles and fashions come and go. At the end of the day, however, it’s just not that complicated. The good stuff sticks around and the crappy stuff dies. It’s always been about quality. So, no need to continue this generational feud. We just need to be on the same page that high quality music disappeared around 1994.

    Today was a bit of a dumpster fire, but I am genuinely grateful and always humbled to fight the good fight with each of you.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

  • Beating Tires and Rocking Out to Skynyrd – from Smooth Operator

    Beating tires and rocking out to Skynyrd
    7/17/23
    Attendance
    Goldilox
    Paradox
    Goose
    Pope
    Cardinal
    Goats in the Machine
    Paradiddle
    Econoline
    FNG
    Smooth Operator

    I have always been a big fan of Lynyrd Skynyrd since I was a kid. Their music reminds me of hanging out with my dad whom always seemed to have their music on in his old truck. The other day I was feeling stuck in a rut and decided to let Spotify try and help clear my head. “4 walls of Raiford” by Lynyrd Skynyrd came on and instantly gave me a fresh new prospective on my problems. My little problems weren’t anything compared to this poor Vietnam Vet whom got caught up in a bad spot and ended up doing time in Raiford prison in Florida. Anyway lets get into it.

    I showed up this morning after a long wet night at work, but was feeling pretty good with a couple new additional props for this mornings beatdown. Lox showed up first with a FNG, and after that it was like the PAX flood gates opened up. Around 5:10 Goats in the Machine decided to grace us with his presence, it’s good to have you back buddy. I was hoping to see an ole Chevy pulling in to the subdivision around 0518 but I guess we will have to wait till Tuesday Tuff to start Frenchy’s comeback.

    Warm ups went as follows:
    SSH
    Imperial Walkers
    Windmills
    Arm circles
    Cherry Pickers
    Mountain Climbers

    Cadence left something to be desired, I’ll go ahead and blame in on sleep deprivation along with the rest of the beatdown explanation.

    THANG

    After warm ups, we went up on the stage and picked out a cell mate. For here little JBL came to life with 4 walls of Raiford. One half the cell would be doing box jumps and the other would be doing merkins and we would switch in between verses. This proved to be pretty tough with the long dragged out guitar solos and YHC thought it was perfect. No reason to get in a hurry.

    After the song finished we moseyed to the bumper and back to the flag where YHC set up 2 tires I found on side the road along with an 8 lb. maul and a really cool looking 8 to 10 lb. axe hammer which was a YHC impulse buy. The second part of the thang was a hammer swing timer which YHC felt the need to put in there to signify the digging ditches for the chain gang portion of the beatdown. While the PAX would be doing AMRAP of Man-makers . Half the PAX would be responsible for getting 20 hammer swings done on the two old tires. This worked pretty good but I probably forgot to mention it the first time around that only half the PAX needed to swing since all the PAX ended up beating them tires like they was the devil.

    After this we Moseyed around the mini track and headed back to the Jailhouse (Stage) for another Jail cell beatdown while JBL jamming to songs like Simple Man, Balled of Curtis Loew, Tuesday’s Gone, Sweet Home Alabama, Free Bird.

    The second round of the jail cell beatdown would go like this one cell mate would complete 8 reps of burpees while the other cell mate would complete 8 reps of prison squats. Then they would switch. After this we would move down to 7 reps and so forth until we reached 0 planking up upon completion. As a group we moseyed to the bumper and back to the tire beatdown for more hammer swings and man-makers. YHC must have reiterated the need for only half the PAX to give us the 20 reps of hammer swings to move on because we got it right this time. After we completed this along with more man-makers AMRAP, we moseyed around the track back to the jailhouse for today’s final round of jailhouse beatdown.

    The final round of Jailhouse beatdown went similar to the initial round. It was set to the song “Mr. Banker” and the exercises to complete would be Apolo Onos and Freak Nasties switching in between verses again. After switching 3 or 4 times YHC showed the PAX mercy and we abandoned the Freak Nasties due to YHC wanting to get those glutes some extra work.

    From here, we had roughly 5 minutes left and YHC felt a strong pull to beat those tires again so that’s what we did. The other half the PAX beat on some tires 2 by 2 while all the PAX did more man-makers until 0559 when YHC called it.

    Announcement

    Animal shirt went from Econoline to a well deserving Pope.
    Our new FNG supplied by LOX was given the name Longhorn due to being from Oklahoma and a Sooner fan.

    COT and Pope prayed us out.

    Thanks to everyone who came out and put in the work, y’all kicked this beatdown’s butt.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator

  • Ride the Horse (even if you’re doing it wrong) – from Paradiddle

    YHC has been tempted recently to move on from his usual loosely Ted Lasso themed beat downs, but the PAX have seemed to enjoy not knowing what will come from the mustached man – smiles, positive vibes, 50 too many burpees married to nonstop cardio? What could be in store for this beatdown…

    YHC arrived early (a rare sight) to find Sooth’s empty truck in the shell lot. After looking for Smooth for a few, YHC had some intel to gather. YHC mosey’d to ED White’s football stadium to get a good grasp on the scale of the field – he’d need to retreat one since the turf is still being replaced. Returning to the lot, YHC found some of the pax had begun to arrive – Enron, Lox, Smooth, Lil Cuz w/ 2.0. Conversation started as YHC had brought the newest FNG this morning – a prime day special that has expanded our JBL fam. With Dox’s arrival came cones, and with the help of Lox a makeshift 100 yd football field was created.

    Mumble chatter was strong and we began the usual warmups accompanied with the regular “How does this count off go again?” Debates were held about whether it’s “starting position” or “ready position” – some claiming to have done their F3 online research. SSH, Imperial Walkers, grass grabbers w the infamous clap, arm circles, cherry pickers, and mountain climbers.

    YHC introduced the legend of Leeroy Jenkins – a gamer who in 2005 singlehandedly caused the implosion of a well thought out WoW raid. Yelling Leeroy’s name today would earn the pax a 100yd sprint and 5 burpees. Every man could call upon Leeroy once in the beatdown if he so wished.

    We grabbed coupons and mosey’d to the field with Chicago serenading us and “Saturday in the Park” filling the air through the newest JBL member.

    YHC wasn’t finished explaining thang 1 before Coyote yelled the first Leeroy. The pax sprinted the length of the field and finished the burpees. We had to get back to our starting position, so it was an additional 100yd sprint back. It was immediately apparent that Leeroy might have been a mistake, as YHC had promised the pax a beatdown without much running. (I’ll admit – Leeroy was a last minute addition)

    _____

    Thang One
    Hindenburg
    An exercise on each of the four corners of the field, sprinting one corner to the next. YHC had five rounds planned, but in a last minute audible, reduced it to three.
    Round One – 5 Burps
    Some lovely soul called a Leeroy
    Round Two – 20 LBC’s
    Round Three – 30 Plank Jax
    Pax completed the Hindenburg with ease, but mumble chatter was filling the air and it was apparent that resentment towards YHC for the amount of running was on the rise. Before thang two, an additional Leeroy was called. Already up to three. Insanity. The pax was willingly engaging in MORE running and blaming YHC.

    _____

    Thang Two
    Death of the Merkin’
    This is a Diddle Original.
    You see, after Cardinal’s brutal Millennial on Thursday, Lox expressed his desire to expand his chest and his capacity for merkin’s, thus we would work on our merkins.

    We’d perform Manmaker Merkin’s (according to the Lexicon, but debated in name by Goose) – High plank with coupon (cinders are great) laying to your right side. Perform a Merkin. Reach under your body with your left hand and drag the coupon to the opposite side of your body.

    5 Manmaker Merkins on each 10 yd line, then a lunge walk with coupon to the next yd line, all the way to the 50. 25 in total, 50 yds coupon lunge in total. Pax pushed through, admittedly some pax tossing their coupons under their body with sheer frustration (downright impressive). Econoline pushed through and finished strong, not giving in to the temptation to walk instead of lunge (Hell yeah – you’d earn the animal shirt, I believe, because of your sheer will power in these moments – props)

    Pt. 2 of Death of the Merkin
    Pump Jack
    A partner pushup competition til failure – one partner performing 5 pushups while the other holds high plank and “coaches” the other. Upon failure, lunge walk around other pairs and coach them encouragingly until they reach failure.
    Pax performed these in cadence with YHC leading the count. No idea what we ended up getting to, but it was a higher number than YHC anticipated. Majority of the pax stayed in the fight all together the whole time. Props to Lil Cuz, the only person I could see (and partner), as he fought through the craziest case of arm trembles I’ve ever seen. The man didn’t stop, didn’t make a sound – WHAT! I believe someone called Leeroy here. What a move.

    It was here that my extremely loose theme came into play as Smooth asked if I had any Ted inspiration to bestow on the pax – I did! YHC had practiced for this moment, and yet still couldn’t remember it. Out came the trusty iPhone – “Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, if you’re comfortable while you’re doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong”. – Ted to Beard

    Thang Three
    Plank Hurdles
    This was YHC’s version of “fun” for the morning. A three team relay with the team starting in plank in the end zone, partner one runs to the 10 and planks, partner two emerges from plank and hurdles over partner 1 (like a gazelle) and planks up on the 20, partner three over partner one and two and lands on the 30…etc until everyone ends in the opposite end zone. This proved to be fun and challenging, with certain pax taking liberties with their form as it quickly became competitive. Gazelle award goes to America’s Best, with the best most consistent form in hurdles AND lunges.
    Somewhere here Leeroy Jenkins was called. We were dead, but we ran it.
    After Leeroy, we returned for a second face-off of plank hurdles. Thank you Linkin Park for accurately describing our feelings as we planked up again.

    Following was one of the slowest mosey’s with coupons back to the shovel and flag. I’ve never seen the pax move that slow – I’ve never seen myself move that slow. I couldn’t make the legs move any faster.

    Pax circled up around the flag, exhausted, moist (so so so moist), and ready for shade that was nowhere to be found. COT and prayer led by Goose.

    Men, great work. This pax has not stopped pushing. We are growing. And for some reason, you chose the Diddle Death March (disguised as Leeroy Jenkins) all on your own on this lovely Saturdiddle (props to Dox to coining the phrase).

    Til the next time,

    SYITG.
    Paradiddle

  • Battle of the Ages – from Cardinal

    YHC found himself the victim of guerrilla warfare. An unknown PAX threw YHC’s name on the Q sheet unbeknownst to him (there was verbal chatter about taking said Q, admittedly). But always ready to face a challenge, a beatdown was put together. The chatter on the GroupMe focused on the wide age difference between the old fogeys and the young bucks, so a “battle of the ages” was crafted to settle the debate.

    Warmup of the usual fare kicked us off (SSH, WM, IW, FAC/BAC/CP, SL).

    Thang 1 was a celebration of a recent 21st birthday among the PAX (T-claps to French Horn, who was only at “hc” status and thus nowhere to be found). We started with 3 rounds of 21s – first round was high knees, second round was grass grabbers with the clap, and third round was Bobby Hurley’s. YHC had not even thought of a penalty because he was so confident that the PAX could count to 21 with ease. However, that proved not to be the case. EVERY SINGLE ROUND was failed by at least one of the PAX (although the first round may have been intentionally sabotaged by GiGi). A hastily created penalty was a lap around the Civic Center. They say education is bad in Louisiana….and YHC can confirm that.

    Thang 2 was an homage to two of the greatest hits when these 40+ fogeys were in their prime – Thunderstruck and No Scrubs (which was at the top of multiple lists YHC found while researching, despite a near unanimous disdain for the song). Thunderstruck was a simple burpee on “Thunder”, and No Scrubs was holding Al Gore while doing a jump at each “no” (which was a lot).

    Thank 3 closed us out with the triumph of the greatest generation – the Millennial. It involved 10 rounds of 100 reps each, with a 100m mosey in between each round (thus adding up to 2000 total reps/meters). However, due to YHC’s poor time calculations, we only got through 6 rounds before we had to call it – SSH, LBCs, Merkins, Lunges, Oblique Crunches, and Mountain Climbers. YHC noticed the total silence during this entire thang – until Goose started his oblique crunches, which garnered widespread admiration at the form and technique. Comparisons were made to drilling for oil as well as cattle roping. Make of that what you will.

    Dox prayed us out after COT and some announcements about the second annual SV500 – supporting a great charity in the Houma-Thibodaux area next month. Check us out and sign up! https://f3thibodaux.regfox.com/the-st-vincent-500-2023

    Always a blessing gentlemen. Might be some more Cardinal Q’s on the horizon.

    SYITG

    Cardinal

  • Lose Yourself – from Paradox

    Look
    If you had one one beatdown, one opportunity …
    To seize everything you wanted as a Q…
    Would you capture it or let it slip
    Yo

    His coolJabs are sweaty , calves weak , JBL is heavy
    2.0 vomit on his mudgears already , M’s spaghetti
    He’s nervous , but on the surface he looks calm and ready
    To drop bombs but he keeps on forgetting
    What he wrote down , the mumble chatter goes so loud
    He opens his mouth but the cadence won’t come out
    The clocks run out ! times up !
    5:15 already Blaow! …

    Duke! Snap back to reality and Roll that beautiful footage!

    With 30 days till our signature summer event YHC wanted to stoke the fires of service a bit with a St Vincent de Paul tribute beatdown. 10 high impact men trickled into the stage just as YHC finished laying out some ominously zigzagging cones. YHC had serious concerns about low attendance today after Wet Tap came from the top rope on Monday with a F3 Thib instant classic Nurmegeddon: a mile long Nur that put more pax in physical therapy than beer league softball. To my relief waves of vehicles began washing ashore from all corners of Houma-Thibodaux highlighted by Honeysuckle bringing an FNG on his second beatdown! T-Claps

    The calves were tight but these animals were hungry for more.

    Warmup
    The usuals and a bumper mosey to make sure we still knew how to run forward.

    Thang 1

    St Vincent birthday :
    4 -24-1581

    We grabbed coupons and hit 4 corners for :
    4 thrusters x 4
    24 Curls x 3
    15 Werkins x 2
    81 presses x x1

    This heated up pretty quick. Tana could not be reached for comments , leave a message after the tone.
    He does not like pina colada’s but he will get caught in the rain (if he needs a signature) . Champagne and yoga? Forget about it .

    To the stage

    A fathers sacrifice for his sons education.
    St Vincent grew up in a poor farming family, his family made major sacrifices to send him to higher education.

    Partner up –
    Jason Aldean – Amarillo Sky

    Father- Farmer carry both coups around the track while the
    son does step ups
    Both pax do 1 round of farmer carry and 1 round of step up
    Burned it out with a minute of step ups.

    So St Vincent became a priest at 19 but he couldn’t serve as parish priest till 24 so he went back to the books for a degree in Canon law and theology. He was totally primed to change the world with his now sharpened intellect but as he reflects in his writings his heart was not about serving others.

    Can’t Touch This – MC Hammer
    Classic YHC side shuffle from grass to grass with Bobby Hurleys on can’t touch this.
    (Full props to YHCs 2.1 here. She dialed this one up and continues to sharpen her ear for F3 pain jamz.)

    Thang 2

    As we see time and time again God has a way of providing attitude adjustments at just the right time…
    St Vincent on his way back from finishing his education was caught by pirates and sold into 2 years of slavery.

    Open Ocean Team Race

    Split into 2 teams
    Start with 4x4x4 : 4 mountain climber , 4 Merkin , 4 SSH rinse and repeat. this seemed to boggle ole Street Smarts Ronnies brain until YHC saw the well patented Cardinal play to ask multiple clarifying questions in order to gather more oxygen. Well played.
    Send one pax at a time into the course until all go through and when the team is back together Team Lunge to the finish.

    Round 1 Nur/Run
    Round 2 Nur/Run Star jumps
    Round 3 all out Sprint

    Team one flexed big quad talent in round 1 and 2 with decisive victories anchored by the Popes young legs and Gooses rowing cadence.
    But Team 2 didn’t hear no bell.
    that’s when Ragnar Tana felt the Viking in his blood boiling and was heard cadencing his team to a close victory in round 3.
    Tremendous effort here all around cus the quads were …*checks diddle notes* ….
    …straight up lit fam frfr, say less!

    During these years as a slave St V saw the true value of service for “the least of these” and by establishing and deepening one on one relationships he converted his slave captors to Christianity eventually securing his freedom and returning to France with a full heart of Christian service

    Thang Finale

    Lose Yourself
    Ab burn out …
    Cycle of Big Boys , Leg Raise, Wife Pleasers with a 30 second 6 inch hold finisher

    CountoRama and NameOrana with a FNG ceremony…

    YHC has never been a great FNG namer and this is intensified as the Q. Today’s deliberations to name our FNG (he’s an eye doctor) started well enough with early front runners for Splinter and clear factions for America’s Best. YHC went with what seemed to be the popular vote of Splinter avoiding Gooses hurtful gaze…only for Team Dawson’s youngest litigator to bring the smoking gun in that we already had a splinter!
    Alas our man was dubbed America’s Best and was confirmed with the slightest hint of disgust for his new name and glowing smugness from the Honkmaster.

    Welcome America’s Best, great effort and continuing to strengthen our 40 north club with iron strong pax. The lineage of Yankee Jeaux becoming legendary even while he basks in the white sands of ….Florida with Ronnie D.

    COT and Diddle prayed us out

    As always its a great privilege to lead you men, grateful for your willingness to show up, beat the darkness and keep hammering.

    PAX today I challenge you

    The moment , you own it , you better never let it go
    Lose Yourself in the service of others
    This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Base-human-ball-man Game – from Goose

    YHC was feeling a little bit in a rut trying to come up with new ideas for the Peltch, but after some late night brainstorming, it seemed a good time for a couple of risky ideas.
    First, the warmups–usual suspects with unusually low mumblechatter, though YHC has noticed that it may be a trend on mornings where he’s Q-ing. It’s an interesting psychological phenomenon–not sure if it’s coming from dread, high count volume expectations, or short shorts and white thighs. Thankfully, Yankee and Dox were happy to intentionally inject some wittiness to wake things up a bit.

    We then grabbed coupons (most of us) and lined up for an Indian run to the Thunderdome. Sprinting to the front of the line with an awkward coupon seemed a unique challenge–the first of the day.

    Once under the dome of thunder, YHC paired with JBL and introduced a song off the first CD ever purchased for my first CD capable jambox back in ’96. Coupons were laid long-ways on the ground, and we would do Dox’s jump-switch-touch things for the duration, a two-footed hop over the coupon on every “on my way” and a genuflection for every “momabadeesay-moobadeeyah”. The song, “Send Me on My Way” is over four minutes long, which felt a little undoable with these exercises, so YHC offered to shave a minute off if anyone could guess the artist. YJ came through (like we all knew he would) with Rusted Root, and it was three and a half minutes of leg torture. YHC was grateful we did this first while we still had energy.

    Next, we hauled the coupons to the area next to the running track over by the cornhole set. YHC was looking for a partner exercise where the partners would compete so as to push the performance a bit. So, we settled on having one partner run the loop (1/2 mile) while partner two tried to complete 100 tricep curls/presses before they got back. Loser did 15 man-makers and winner did 15 big boy situps. A couple of interesting observations:
    1. 100 seemed like a lot on paper, but with the variety of runners/pressers, it was just right. And flippin’ hard.
    2. Pope is getting to be a bit ridiculous–he was ahead of Dilly by a good margin, and I found myself extremely grateful that he was in the first crew and I was in the second.
    3. Just about everyone split the difference on the man-makers with their partners. This is a good bunch of dudes.
    4. Running half a mile sucks worse than doing 100 tricep presses.

    After a 10-count or two, we headed over to the closest baseball field for the main event: base-man, or base-human, or baseball-man, or man-ball (should probably scratch that last one after YJ’s recently shared childhood baseball story). We dropped blocks at each base and then split into two teams. For the first inning, one player from Team 1 was the ball, and one player from team two was the base runner. The ball had to run to the center field fence before running back to try to get a runner out. Runners had to complete a coupon exercise before they could step on the bag and be safe. (Cardinal, you may want to read that last sentence a few more times.) Form also was important, and specific specs were given for each exercise. (Cardinal, you may want to read that last sentence a few more times.)
    YHC designed this game specifically with Cardinal in mind knowing that competition brings out the Red Hulk in him. He did not disappoint. YHC is tempted to include competitions in every Q just to see what a ripped Cardinal might look like, cuz that dude will push harder and do more reps than the rest of the group combined without even thinking about it if there’s something on the line.

    Team 1 (YHC’s team) seemed to be stacked with talent, and they made a solid showing at the top of the first inning only allowing one or two runs. Then, Team 1 became the base runners, and the momentum started to shift pretty dern quick. I don’t remember who got the first out, but Pope came through with a surprising double play, and to say we didn’t recover after that is an understatement. Next inning, Team 2 pretty much used the bases as a non-stop carousel despite some close calls and Cardinal questioning YHC’s identity as a member of a morally upright society and making a vague reference to YJ’s next visit to the Confessional. I think the final score was Team 2: something in the teens, Team 1: 1. Team 1 may have made a comeback, but time ran out, so we had to head back to the flag.

    We had just enough time for some slow, tortuous Mary that consisted of 6 in holds punctuated by occasional leg raises; high, slow flutter kicks; and Little Manny Crunches (hold for 3-count at the top).

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out due to some heavy stuff happening in the community (needed a heavy hitter on that prayer, for sure).

    It was an awesome morning, and YHC is grateful that you men showed up and played along.

    SYTIG,
    Goose

  • Don’t be a NURD. This ain’t no picnic! – from Wet Tap

    7-10-23

    Yhc pulled up to the stage promptly at 5:12 eager to deploy a new brainstorm for destroying our legs.

    After a quick warmorama of buttkicks, high knees, tclaps, arm circles w/ Cherry pickers, and self love; it was time…

    Thang1

    It was hard to control my giddiness when Yhc called for a quick mile run to get the juices flowing. Wait, there’s more. This would be a mile nur. Laughter filled the gloom, but I wasn’t joking. What started as a fast paced quarter turned into a grueling calf burning misery, but there was no stopping this train. We all ground through trying to keep up with Goose and Dox. They never let up and like usual set the pace for the outdoor world record Nur.

    Thang2.

    The four corners of picnic tables “set the stage” for thang2.

    Parters set up at each table with their favorite coupon (Cinder).
    Table 1= 25 tricep dips
    Table 2= 25 merkins coupon (1:1) left arm down, center, and right arm down.
    Table 3= 25 Thursters
    Table 4= 25 genuflections w/coupon

    Mode of transportation between tables was murder bunnies (25 yds) and bear crawls (15 yds)

    Thang3.
    Daylight was coming quick, and to get those white shiny calves of goose to really plump up in those volleyball tights Yhc added single leg jumps across the grass and back (100yd) with single leg deadlifts(25). Repeated with other leg.
    Things were really hurting by this point, time for some Mary.

    AMRAP 1minute of:
    JLO with picklepounders
    Scuba Steve
    Penguins
    LBC

    Things are blurry and I can’t find the flag…

    COT with name off, Announcements,
    Animal was returned to Goose. pray out by Michelin.

    Everyone showed and put forth an awesome example of what F3 is all about. Strong work brothers.