F3 New Orleans

Tag: Paradox

  • Tribute: Bishop Mario Dorsonville – from Goose

    YHC was in the process of building a fun Saturday beatdown when Cardinal called with some devastating news: Bishop Dorsonville had passed away at 6:50pm from complications due to to treatment of liver issues. He had been dealing with a lot of pretty major medical stuff over the past couple of months, but he wasn’t anywhere near death, so this came as a shock to everyone. After some time grieving with the M and connecting with friends and family, YHC knew there was still a beatdown to be built for the morning, and the original theme wasn’t gonna work anymore. A solid tribute would be the only appropriate way to move forward.

    F3 tributes are usually put together for fallen soldiers or policemen killed in the line of duty, and they’re defined by a single, very difficult routine that provides for maximum effort to honor the fallen. Though not a soldier or a policeman, Bishop Mario Dorsonville offered his life deeply and continuously for the people of the Diocese of Houma-Thibodaux in a uniquely heroic way, and his untimely death deserves such a tribute.

    When he was named Bishop of Houma-Thibodaux, he had no idea where it was or what to expect, but he accepted it as the Lord’s will and resolutely headed this way. After his installation, he told me (on multiple occasions and with deep, passionate sincerity) that this was not going to be a stop on the way to a bigger assignment for him. He had already made up his mind and had communicated to his superiors that these would be his people for the rest of his life. These would be the people to whom he would belong, and they would belong to him until his death or retirement. He had no family left on earth outside of some distant relatives back in Colombia, and he didn’t know anyone here. But, he quickly connected with YHC’s family and with Cardinal and his family. Cardinal would become his secretary, his right hand man in all things, his brother in every sense of the word, his companion on the journey. We just had no idea the journey would be so short.

    The PAX gathered in the cold gloom and YHC was grateful to sink into what has become a strong brotherhood, a team of HIMs defined by gratitude and humble grit. It was nice to enter that circle and let the chatter wash over us. YHC could tell the 2.0’s were grateful for that, too–they were close with Bishop, like an uncle, and they had just received the hard news that morning in the truck on the way there.

    A warmup of the usuals, including the introduction of what YHC labeled “Lafayette Nightclubs”, a weird but extremely effective arm exercise experienced in Lafayette a couple of weeks ago (they called them “Moroccan Night Clubs”, but anyone who’s been to Morocco knows better). It starts with hands up, elbows down at your sides, then extend up and outward about 45 degrees before coming back down. This one’s quickly becoming one of YHC’s favorites since it works out an area that’s been hard to loosen up.
    Also, Duke unwittingly provided some comic relief as he covered his whole face with his knit had to ward off the cold wind and kept drifting into Safety Valve’s circle of safety and windmilling him in the face. I think he actually wore it like that for the entire warmup.

    YHC then explained what we’d be doing and why–some of the PAX knew already and some didn’t–and we split into teams of three, grabbed one coupon per team, and headed to the lower field.

    The tribute would consist of a Dora-like routine wherein teams of three would complete the following exercises/reps:
    -B: Burpees 200
    -I: Imperial Walkers 300
    -S: Side Straddle Hops 400
    -H: Heels to Heaven 300
    -O: Ono’s (Apolo Ono’s) 200 (2:1)
    -P: Peter Parker Merkins 100
    There were two cones set up about 15 yards apart, and while one of the trio chipped away at the burpees, another at the other cone started on the Imperial Walkers, and the third traveled from the first to the second via block-and-bear. Upon arrival, he took over on the Imperial Walker reps, and the second traversed back via block-and-bear to take over on burpees. Once a rep count was completed, that side would move onto the next letter’s exercise.

    Yankee Joe came running over just as YHC was completing the explanation, but unfortunately, he made number 13, so we had to send him all the way back to grab another coupon so he could join one of the groups and make a foursome, requiring two men to block-and-bear together. He didn’t complain, though, and shared that he had heard about Bishop that morning, and though he may not have planned to be there otherwise, he had rushed out to the door to support YHC. That was deeply moving, and YHC was almost sorry to have to put him through such a grueling routine…almost.

    It started rough and remained rough throughout, especially with the cold coupons numbing the fingers, making it hard to tell if you were fully gripping the block on the pulls. But, the variations of exercises and switching between them made it a little more doable (a little). Once all had finished except Suckle and AB (that’s how you know there may have been some widespread form-fudging), the rest of the PAX took 5 PPMerkins apiece to fill the gap, and we lined up for the next movement.

    Indian Run via the road to the far gate (by the chimney field), the last guy dropping to do 3 genuflections before running to the front. This was tougher than it otherwise would have been, obviously because of the effort that was just poured in by the PAX, and the cold wind was a-blowin’. Once we arrived at the gate, YHC called a halt to share some words and an explanation of what we’d be doing next.

    Bishop Dorsonville loved intensely. He yearned for familial relationships, and he naturally gave himself over, opening his heart wide to those he encountered. This was often exhausting for him, especially as he encountered more and more people here, and many of them weren’t always sure how to receive such an intense, sincere, familial love. This was painful for him, particularly since he had no family or friends here to fall back on, no place to be safe and comfortable with people who knew his heart, to whom he already belonged. But, he didn’t stop. He continued to press on and show up and pour himself out, praying for strength and growing connections with people here. Thankfully, Cardinal’s prayer led him to say yes to the request to be Bishop’s full-time secretary (which is more of like a partner/assistant), and God allowed he and his family to provide a “home” for him. God also allowed YHC and family to give him some harbor in the storm when he’d visit the house to feel at home with the mess and beauty of family life.

    To honor this intense, often painful journey of pouring himself out unreservedly for the people here, we would run as hard as we could from there via the road to the parking area in front of the main building, just past the Thunderdome. It was about 1/3 of a mile, which was long enough to be friggin’ hard, but not long enough to get into a groove or find a good pace. He was the Bishop for only 9 months, which was long enough to be deeply difficult but not long enough to get comfortable.

    YHC sent Yote and the 2.0’s on the shorter route between the fields, and we lined up. On signal, we took off at a hard pace and kept it hard–YHC could hear the footsteps of Suckle not far behind, and the rest were not far behind him. The body was exhausted, but we had a good reason to offer it up, to not measure how much more we could take, especially because we knew it would end soon enough. This part hit YHC hard, and the tears wanted to take over, but the opportunity to pour it all out and the support of this awesome crew provided the drive needed to put the pedal to the metal. (And, it almost provided YHC’s first career pukeage, too.)

    We went down to the field and grabbed the gear before heading back to the flag for COT, and Dox prayed us out, all of us focusing on Cardinal’s grief and Bishop’s eternal rest.
    Thanks, again, gentlemen, for your support and for entering into an unforeseen tribute beatdown in sub-freezing temperatures. F3 continues to be a deeper, more important gift than I know any of us could’ve ever expected.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • I Want Candy – from Cardinal

    Isn’t it funny that you always want the thing you can’t have? YHC and a number of the PAX are in a period of not eating sweets, so to channel the newfound desire for anything with sugar, YHC dove into the exicon to see what sweet treats could be unearthed. After a little thought, a beatdown was born.

    Warmorama was almost the standard fare (IW, WM, AC, HK, BK, SL) except knowing what was coming next, SSH were skipped. This presented to be a real issue for a number of the PAX and was perhaps the most controversial part of the whole beatdown.

    All chatter was quickly silenced by the next thang – featuring the classic “I Want Candy” by Aaron Carter. The PAX would to SSH for the duration of the song, with a burpee on every time they hear “candy.” If you made it through the brutal marathon at the end, that’s 26 burpees in just over 3 minutes.

    After that, we moved into Double Apple Sauce, a 2-column Indian run where the last man in one line would run to the front of the other. This was met with varied success, looking beautifully choreographed at times and looking like a mob at other times.

    We ended at the baseball field, where the PAX were introduced to the Sugar Cookie. In the outfield, PAX did called Scuba Steve’s and leg raises, then sprinted to home plate to do 20 hand release merkins and 20 BBSU. Ideally, the dew from the grass would leave the PAX nicely coated like a sugar cookie. Alas, the moisture wasn’t there, but it was still a killer thang.

    We then DAS’d again to Aldi’s (possessive because that’s how you do it) parking lot for some Apple Turnover races – switching between bear crawl and crab walk. After that, round 2 was a Hot Apple Turnover – crawl bear and walk crabs. The PAX pushed and showed their prowess (or lack thereof) in each leg of the race.

    We moseyed back to the flag for 5 minutes of people’s choice MARY- which featured Dr. W’s and dolphin hops to no one’s surprise.

    COT and Goose prayed us out. Mom Jeans bestowed the VEST upon Smooth for pushing harder than anyone, both on and off the court so to speak.

    Grateful to the PAX for letting me take them on a sweet journey! Till next time…

    -Cardinal

  • Every Morning in Africa… – from Paradox

    “Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up and knows it must be faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.
    Every morning in Africa a lion wakes up and knows it must be faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve.
    It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle, when the sun comes up you better be running “
    -African proverb

    Todays beatdown inspiration was a bit of a “give a mouse a cookie” situation. YHC recently saw the above quote and tucked it away into the “beatdown ingredient “folder for later. Shortly after that YHC read a Nola backblast (shoutout to Charmin) with a “catch me if you can” modification called lions and gazelles. Shortly after THAT Gooses new years beatdown had pax 1 mile run times posted and YHC wondered what type of burpee handicap would put the pax on an equal running field. The blend was coming together, was just missing another ingredient when I saw my 2.0s running scared in the yard…hmmm….a dash of fear…just right! Now just need a heat source to cook this meal …or perhaps …perhaps this is a dish best served cold…

    Duke!! Get away from that watering hole and roll that beautiful beatdown footage!

    7 pax fought through icy windshields and hastily searched pants drawers to get better on a Tuesday Tuff at the stage. 25 degrees at alarm time with 15 mph wind puts us at a respectable F3 nation GMI of 14 (32-current degree F plus PAX attendance). We felt the kindred spirit with our F3 brothers in the northeast and midwest that call this weather “spring” .

    YHC started the partner work early at home when attempting to unfreeze the truck too late but Valve was ready and waiting with the cutting-edge Ford technology across the street so we headed down 308 together silently waiting to see if Yankee ever found pants. Team Platinum soon found Goose and Ronnie (with leg coverings!) loitering in the cold with Jeaux and Popeye close behind.
    Today’s goals were simple. Never stop moving and get the pax home with all their fingers and toes and wives leggings intact.

    Warmup
    Heavy Cardio warmup with a double dose of MCs to get the heart charged and blood to the fingers if only for a second.

    Continued Warmup
    Indian Run around Richmans Loop to let the pax see the Serengeti and prime the watering holes (drop off cones)
    Drop off to 3 Jillian Michael’s (haven’t missed those)

    YHC tried to find the song that would transport the pax to a sunny tropical state of mind so we ran while the Beach Boys told us about a place way down in Kokomo. This served to warm our hearts for about 2 seconds until turning the corner on the flat land of richmans loop and feeling the full force of the wind. We did not get there fast or take it slow and the Beach Boys would be ashamed but we did end up where we wanted to go and picked up a wild Dilly while out in the bush!

    Da Main Thang a Lang

    LIONS VS GAZELLES

    Da Rules:
    -Lion starts by doing 15 burpees while gazelles take off from starting line
    -Gazelles must do assigned exercise and reps at each “watering holes” before progressing
    -the lion can kill (tag) you at any time and is immune from watering hole exercises
    -You can only run forward
    -Pax must stay on the road
    -When tagged you are “dead “, complete 10 burpees and mosey back to starting line
    -if you make it back “home” no penalty
    -The lion will do 2 penalty burpees for every living gazelle who makes it home.

    Round 1
    Lion Goose vs Gazelle PAX—Score: Goose 6 Gazelles 0
    Gazelles made a respectable trek to in between the second and third watering hole before Lion Goose unleashed carnage. The ever cunning strategist Lion Goose ran down the leaders in cold blood then circled back for the rest. I shudder to think what Pope will do in this format.

    Round 2
    Lion Jeaux vs Gazelle PAX- Score Jeax 1 Gazelles 5
    Only change is 10 merkins which in Jeaux’s defense went much quicker than YHC expected and may have put us ahead early. Most of the gazelles made it home to their families. Lion Jeaux did not starve but later commented that the Gazelle Dilly was “a little gamey” for him. Sadly there will be a zoo truck coming soon to “transfer him to a better place”.

    Round 3
    Lion Popeye vs Gazelle PAX- Score Pop 6 Gazelles 0
    12 Burpees for the Lion this round to start, 5 Jump Squats at watering holes.
    Lion runs forward while pax Nur and stare down our impending death. YHC tilted this one a touch in the favor of the Lion to ensure maximum effort. The nur/jump squat combo took the gazelles down fast and Popeye came around the first bend of Richmans loop like a persistent tank rolling down gazelles with reckless abandon. He took YHC and Goose just after cone 2 with a gentle tap that and nod that it was time death and for more burpees.

    Round 4 – Partner race for home
    P1 sprint to next light and MC
    P2 MC till p1 is stopped at next light
    YHC sowed some confusion early by saying leap frog but performing something different. The pax adjusted well and every team stayed in close contention.

    Formed up to finish a standard Indian run home with a sprint finish

    Just enough time for a little Proud Mary, this is an old Goose classic and never gets old
    Assorted abs on the song with Big Boys on “Rolling”.

    Just before the song we realized the wind had taken down Ole Glory on our shovel flag. Goose fiddled with putting it back together but he is not one to miss a session of Mary so he resolutely held the stars and stripes up and off the ground while torching abdominals down below. Never been prouder of my site Q.

    The Counting, the Naming and we found ANIMAL inside of the seventeenth layer of YJs clothes. It was given to Pop in honor of his Gazelle feast in round 3.

    Announcements:
    RCR sign ups and prep
    It’s Only a Mile – Feb 17th

    COT and Ronnie prayed us out

    Moleskin:
    We can be motivated, at least temporarily, by many things.
    There can be comfort (Kokomo in 25 degrees weather), control (how many reps?), fear (is that Popeye or the grim reaper?). These are mostly internal motivations that we reach for in the face of adversity. But what the pax of F3 Thibodaux consistently teach YHC is the value of an external motivation. One detached from my own needs and desires. Reaching outside of oneself for your children, your spouse or just that sweaty dude next to you who keeps making 3 inches jokes. When we find this extra gear of shared suffering it’s amazing to see the reservoir of strength that God provides with it.
    Thanks for the effort despite the brutal condition’s today men.

    It’s a privilege to lead

    Epilogue

    Every morning in Thibodaux the Gloom awaits men knowing it will capture many with struggle and snares.
    Every morning in Thibodaux the pax wake up knowing they must work hard to beat the gloom.
    And that when the sun rises, there will be men at his side, pushing to make each other a little better each day.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • What’s an ARK? – F3 Greenwood – from Enron

    YHC has been struggling with a cold/cough this past month so preparations for a Q were limited. Not calling out a certain PCP though… Anyways, some digging into record books was needed to pull out something that would be worthwhile for the PAX’s never-ending desire for pain. F3 Greenwood and their IPC have always seemed to have the ticket to putting things at a level that seems achievable on paper but once in action seems worthwhile to have stayed home. After researching backblast the plan was settled. The hype was sent out and on we went.

    10 PAX showed up to the den ready to roll.

    Warmarama:
    SSH, Windmills, IW, Willie Mays Hayes, AC, MC, Self-Love, Mosey around the Civic center.

    The Thang:
    Noah was told by God to build an Ark. To do this, Noah had to pick out the right trees and cut them down.

    Gathering Lumber
    3 rounds
    1 minute Al Gore (Tree Hugger) – These minute(s) seemed to get longer and longer as we went. Paradox’s chatter could be heard from the other end of the line.
    10 Chopping Wood Lunges
    Once the lumber was gathered, Noah started building the Ark. God directed Noah to build the Ark to very specific dimensions (300 cubits by 30 cubits by 50 cubits).

    Building the A.R.K.
    Alternating Shoulder Taps Merkins x 300
    Reverse Crunches x 30 (AB, these were not gas pumps despite what the remainder of the PAX had to say about the air down on the other end of the field)
    Karaoke x 50
    The pax partnered up to build the Ark. Pax 1 drops to the plank position and starts Alternating shoulder tap Merkins. Pax #2 Mosey 50 yards and drops to do 30 reverse crunches then Karaoke back and swap out.

    In Genesis 7:8, the Ark has been built so the animals start coming in by twos for Noah to load onto the boat.

    Animals 2 by 2
    AMRAP until time is called.
    Start with 2 reps for each station and add 2 each time you move to the next station.
    4 Stations
    Station 1 – Crunchy Frog
    Station 2 – Monkey Humpers
    Station 3 – Dolphin Hops – Yes, Dolphins on a boat, it makes sense because they were hopping
    Station 4 – Penguins
    PAX choice to, Bear Crawl, Crab walk, or Duck walk between Stations.
    “Recover” called at 6:00

    Announcements for the upcoming Run Cajun Run event in February as well as the upcoming ACTs retreat.
    COT and Piccadilly prayed us out. Excellent work on a tough beatdown from F3 Greenwood.

    Till next time,
    Enron

  • Gold, Frankinscence, & Myrrhkins – from Paradox

    These the kings of Thibodaux are.
    Bearing gifts they travel so far.
    Field and fountain .
    Moor and mountain
    Following yonder star!

    Duke! Get the Camels!
    We’re going to Bethlehem
    Roll that beautiful beatdown footage !

    18 pax, with assorted 2.0’s, gathered on a chilly Peltch gloom for a journey…well actually 3 journeys (it’s well documented YHC has a problem maintaining a single theme during beatdowns)

    These leagues of learned men were hungry for a cardio feast and little did they know YHC had a buffet ready to serve from the East….hold it right there…I see you shaking your head…If you have a medical condition that is affected by wisemen puns, please exit this backblast. Your condition will not improve

    YHC rolled in on 2 camel humps after an extended garage search for Balthasar and Melchior but had to settle for jump ropes and tennis balls. YHC then moseyed into a gaggle of waiting magi and saw one foreigner towering above the rest. The unmistakable visage of Toe Loop had the pax in a frenzy and it was great to see him back in mix. Goose screeched in with the Van of Truth right on time. These pax were frankly incensed to get started and myrrhbe just myrrhbe we could go for gold today. Pleasantries, insults, and coupons were dispersed and we got down to business .

    Warmup
    Colder than expected winds from the east and a larger than expected group led YHC to some high rep counts to buy time for internal calculations. Plus the added benefit that nothing gets the pax full attention more than shoulder centric warmups.
    YHC then split the pax into teams of 3/4 (math is an elective at Homer High) each with a coupon and we headed for the thunderDome.

    Journey #1
    Two of today’s journeys would have clearly defined geographic destinations with goals to accomplish, lakes to sit by and a King to honor in the process. Before starting these though, YHC wanted to continue Gooses recent individual appraisals of our first F journey.
    YHC instructed the pax complete AMRAP burpees, merkins , bbsus.
    All for one minute each with a goal of establishing a benchmark for the year. We will return to these quarterly to assess progress and videos of form will be periodically sent to Sheriff Jeaux’s office for review.
    Lil Jon led us in the greatest of motivational hymns and all considered what they would turn down for.

    Journey #2 Santa Fe

    It’s the new year and if we want to set fitness goals then the first step is to know exactly where we are (see journey #1)
    The logical next step is to take a look at your own version of the mall map and find the arrow denoted “you are here “ then have a long think about where you want to be.
    Well, if there is any place in the world where I’d like to be to have a really deep think then it’s prolly an adoration chapel….BUT if there were a second place then it’s right next to that Lake …you know the one…it’s just 80 miles to Santa Fe.

    Dean Summerwind led us and we completed:

    “Santa Fe”- Bonnie Blair
    “Parked” Squat
    “Lake “ – Tin soldier
    With Al gore holds for maybe 5 seconds.
    The pax thoroughly enjoyed it with Popeye adding it to his “play at my funeral “playlist.

    Da Main Thang a Lang

    Journey #3 Arabia to Bethlehem

    We were feeling pretty dang good about ourselves with the 80 miles to Santa Fe so we set our sights a little farther …

    800 miles to make Santa Pay.
    That’s right , Jan 6 is STILL Christmas on my calendar you jolly fat man and we got 800 miles to get to baby Jesus so you better hop aboard , this pain train is leaving the station!

    3 Rounds of reps to complete as a 3 King Trio representing the aforementioned 800 miles .
    We would intermingle trivia and the fine arts to hone our wiseman skills. The trivia was hand selected from ABs learned league sample questions and YHC went easy on the pax with only the “ >50 percent correct” categories.
    There would be burpees on the line and we all know Cardinal does his best work when threatened with cardio. I mean seriously if you grew up a Dragon Ball Z nerd like YHC you can imagine ordinary Cardinal going full Super Saiyan when you challenge his heart with burpees but leverage it with trivia.

    Round 1 – 300 curls
    P1 coupon curls
    P2 run to the gate and back (timer)
    P3 Mountain climbers

    Trivia Round 1
    1.) Fill in the blank
    Mega, Giga, Tera, -blank-, Exa

    The pax made a few educated guesses here but took 5 burpees on the chin.

    2.) Herbaceous plant known as scientific name Trifolium
    Cardinal honored his namesake answering that St Patrick’s trinity Clover was correct and saved us from 5 burpees

    3.) a spiders organ used to produce silk ?
    Goose used his experience Cosplaying as SpiderDad to answer Spinneret and save us another 5 burps.

    After our penalty 5 burpees we stopped to consider what the magi may be feeling 300 miles in. Should we “turn around” ??

    JBL fired up a F3 Thib classic with Bonnie Tyler’s Total eclipse of the heart. (See GroupMe Diagram for belting vs crooning concerns)

    Flutter kicks on song
    Leg Raise on all Turn Arounds

    Round 2 200 Thrusters
    P1 jump rope
    P2 run around thunderdome building

    Round 2 Trivia
    1.) What word is the motto of a western US state, a brand of vacuum cleaner, and what Archimedes is alleged to have exclaimed before he left his tub and ran naked through the streets of Syracuse? EUREKA! Not sure who had credit for this one but they saved us 5 burps.
    2.) Dantes Divine Comedy is an epic poem divided into three canticas. The first is Inferno, what are the other two? PURGATORIO, PARADISIO – Cardinal for the win!
    3.) With the single exception of 1989 when Darrell Waltrip passed the checkered flag on Hoosier tires, every Daytona 500 winner since 1969 has driven on tires from what manufacturer. GOODYEAR
    Pax went 3/3 and enjoyed a pleasant 5 burpees.

    Round 3 – The Home Stretch
    This would have originally been 300 SSH but time required us to adapt the 300 miles into a full Rarajapari sprint home .

    With the goal of bringing your 3 gifts (pax , tennis balls , and coupon ) safely to Bethlehem (the flag) and a penalty of 5 burpees for the last team.
    YHC tried to be slick and set his team on a “around the crapper “ track but we got bogged down in the marsh only rescued by SuperFast and Maneaters willingness to dive into ankle deep puddles .
    It came down to the wire until AB took a dagger to our hearts with a Beckham bending kick to the flag.
    Team Goose took the win and a poorly led team dox ate the burpees.
    (Can someone teach me to futbol’ )

    3 minutes of Mary at the flag to finish where we wafted many backblasts and only dreamed of smelling sweeter incense.

    The counting
    The naming
    YHC gave ManEater the inVESTment for eating those coupon thrusters like they were breakfast muffins.
    Dilly Dilly prayed us out .

    RUN CAJUN RUN SIGN UP
    ITS ONLY A MILE – FEB 17

    Looking forward to an awesome year of progress with you chaps.
    It’s a privilege to lead.

    Epilogue

    The following is an excerpt from the award-winning biography of Dave Mitchell

    “America’s Best of Times”

    Written by the Pax of F3 Thibodaux

    Foreword by Squanto

    Chapter 18 : The Best of Us

    “We buried him on a Tuesday. Tuff was always his favorite beatdown ya know…its where he got his start. Goose at 106 years old, sang a stirring rendition of “Wind Beneath My Wings” followed by Valve ceremoniously sprinkling flourescein into the dirt. A light wind stirred the leaves on that quiet Virginian hillside. We had a few last moments to spend with our friend, the best of America. He looked solemn in that home built brewpon casket. Like any moment he would growl and do one last leg raise. The gray of his beard shimmering like the alpaca vest he had worn hundreds of times in a decorated life of service. We waited around at the grave after, swapping stories of beatdowns long blasted.

    Thats when the great granddaughter of the beast approached us with an envelope.
    “My great grandad had two requests in his will” she said.
    “#1 Make sure Yankee Jeaux is doing full extension Apollo Onos. I don’t know who Jeaux is but make sure he knows he was very adamant about this.
    And #2 Give this letter to the men. She opened it and read aloud.”:

    “In the waiting list of life you brothers were the wisest of men, my true learned league, never forget what we did, it was important”

    She hit play on a small musical device and walked off as we staired out across the fading twilight, the music played and somewhere in the distance a whippoorwill crooned softly.

    “Once upon a time I was falling in love. But now I’m only falling apart. Theres nothing I can do …a total eclipse of the heart

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Run, and let Die – from Honeysuckle

    On a chilly morning, YHC plus 14 or 15 HIMs convened at the Lion’s Den to raise the temperature of Thibodaux a few degrees. After a pre-beatdown site survey of the greater Warren J Harang Jr Municipal Auditorium area, YHC determined that most of the grassy area was too wet due to the previous day’s precipitation, which partially put a damper on some of the plans. At this point, a gravel road and an Aldi were willed into existence so that the beatdown could commence.

    Warmarama: SSH, Windmills, Arm Circles (F/R), Mountain Climbers, High Knees, Butt Kicks, Toy Soldiers, Willie Mays Hayes

    Don’t tell Goose, but it is indeed true that opportunities for on-the-clock stretching can be found in the Warmarama if one looks.

    Mosey to the playground

    The Thang:

    YHC explained that there is no point in trying to follow an America’s Best beatdown; no amount of creativity could compare. In fact, YHC was dealt a Paradox, YJ, Goose, Goose, America’s Best hand to follow, so why even bother. So to help out with the lack of detailed planning, the specifics of today would be a little random. The beatdown was based on a random waypoint concept, where six locations around the area were chosen as the waypoints. At each waypoint, some exercises would be done. The choice of which waypoint to go to would be determined by the roll of an allegedly fair die. The waypoints and exercises were as follows

    1: Lion statue (50 Moroccan Night Clubs 2:1)
    2: Gravel road near stop sign (50 Apollo Ohnos 2:1)
    3: Gravel road near exercise equipment (30 tempo squats)
    4: Gravel road near gate (25 LBCs + 25 Big boy situps)
    5: Playground (30 Derkins)
    6: Aldi parking lot near the broken glass (15 burpees)

    Transport between waypoints would be a faster-than-a-mosey run, except if a 1 is rolled in which case there would be a hard run to the Lion statue area. Another rule that did not need to be enacted today was that if the same number were rolled twice in a row, PAX do 10 burpees and roll again.

    The PAX spent a lot of time bouncing around between 4 and 2, so some good core and lower body work was done while getting to know the new gravel road well. Popeye questioned the fairness of the die, but surely the quality control department of Milton Bradley would not let a biased die be packaged as part of a Yahzee set.

    Finally, a 3-5-6-1 sequence was rolled, allowing the PAX to enjoy some change of pace with some squats, derkins, burpees, and Moroccan nightclubs. The visit to 6 also let the PAX get a close look at the Aldi parking lot. Interestingly, neither the gravel road (which appears to be an extension of N 10th street) nor the Aldi parking lot were planned to be a part of today’s beatdown, but as luck would have it, the conditions forced us there and they stole the show. I know Goldilox’s first choice was to give the vest to the gravel road.

    As there was still time left, of course a 4 was rolled so the PAX headed back to the yellow gate to work on their 4 packs. The beatdown would be finished via an administrative decision to hit waypoint 5 for 10 more derkins then sprint to 1. Apparently without the Moroccan nightclubs.

    Goldilox returned the vest to its original owner, Paradox, who as legend has it is thus now obligated to destroy it. If he can.

    Announcements revealed that Paradox has Saturday, followed by Smooth on Monday, and Pope on Tuesday. Also the buzz around Run Cajun Run is noticeably increasing.

    Yankee Joe prayed us out. Dox photoed us out.

    Thank you to the 14 or 15 Pax who showed up this morning. It is always one of the most enjoyable parts of my day to sweat and suffer alongside this group. Tclaps to Maneater and Jackknife for yet another post!

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Everybody’s an Expert – from America’s Best

    Ten genetically-modified hyper-intelligent HIMs posted this cold morning to exercise minds and bodies.

    And the categories are:
    The 4 P’s of Marketing
    Programming Languages
    Irish Musicians
    The Four Pillars of Catholicism/Christian Life
    Antibiotic Classes
    Versions of Halo
    Things on my Desk
    Minor Bluey Characters
    Harry Potter

    One thing I love about this PAX is that each member brings specific acumen to the table. Everyone is an expert in something. But first, YHC had to ascertain exactly what that was for each dude.

    Jackknife immediately impressed, not only showing up as a 2.0 on a Tuesday Tuff, but also by conveying one of his areas of expertise during YHC’s intro/example. Seriously. This kid is awesome. And he knows some Bluey.

    As for the rest, we went on an Indian run of discovery. As each man at the back sprinted to the lead, he declared his area of expertise for all to hear.

    Upon our return to the flag, we began this thang:

    Circle up, and each expert first chooses an exercise, then we all get to embarrass ourselves with our lack of knowledge in his area of expertise.

    YJ was first, and tried to suggest simply “merkins.” Of course, YHC predicted this, and so the box of destiny (formerly the box of Ballard Designs) was consulted.

    The options were: Absolutions, 4x4s, Manmakers, Thrusters, Goosies, No-cheat merkins, Burpees, WW3 sit-ups, or M.H.G.S. Amazingly it was the same number as number of categories/PAX (minus the moderator). Thus is the magic of the Box of Destiny.

    We went around the circle attempting to name the 4 P’s of Marketing, and for each answer that remained after each guess, we did that many of the named exercise. Of course, only YJ could answer most of these (although the judges gave credit to Dox, for “placement”); so we did a fair amount.

    Maneater was next, and I’m sure shook his head as we struggled to identify programming languages, although YHC was impressed with the knowledge of many in this area (Cardinal schooling YHC with HTML –mind blown).

    Irish Musicians was a surprise addition, and YHC’s favorite category. YJ used this opportunity to showcase his deep-rooted hatred of Oasis, refusing to identify either of the Gallagher brothers as musicians, instead opting for the pain of more beatdown.

    YHC’s poor phrasing of the next category left everyone except Cardinal confused as to what the question was actually asking for. This worked out, because only Cardinal could decipher YHC’s intent, and so we got to do more Absolutions. What didn’t work out as well was that Cardinal’s way of explaining was basically just murmuring all the answers! YHC will soon begin a journey that will hopefully help with improved trivia in this category.

    Other than Goose’s surprise guess of “penicillin” right out of the gate, only Dox was able to name 3 other antibiotic classes. Best wrong answer award of the day went to young Jackknife for his guess “Cocaine”. Dox enjoyed doing extra Thrusters with each wrong answer from the PAX.

    Although other guesses were counted as correct, only Pope truly knows which versions of Halo exist.

    And then we came to Lil’ Cuz. What do you do about a man like this? His acumen in so specialized YHC could not begin to pierce the veil of his true knowledge. He is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma… covered and smothered in perplexity. Even trying to guess what might be on his desk proved a challenge. Especially since most guesses would lead one to believe that Lil’ Cuz works in the 1950’s. Have you people only ever seen a desk in “Mad Men”? I’m pretty sure the next few guesses would have included “an ashtray” or “an empty whiskey glass.”

    We ran out of time, but allowed ourselves just a few more burpees while Jackknife rattled off at least 5 or 6 minor characters in Bluey. And Goldilox’s category will have to wait until Double-Jeopardy.

    Yankee Jeaux allocated the AlPAXa inVESTment to Goldilox

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out.

    America’s Got ToVent:

    The seed for this beatdown came from YHC’s exclusive double-secret trivia league, which YHC introduced today to those present. While YHC only gets 2 referrals into this league per season, I am happy to offer them to anyone in this PAX (even Dox). Although as I write this, I actually already have added my 2 referrals to the waiting list! So instead, let me just say I am glad to add another inner-circle for YJ to strive towards– Maybe next season, my friend.
    Thank you all for what you have done to challenge and change YHC in ways you might not even know.
    Well-done showing up and showing off your brains and brawn. You guys always impress me.

  • How The Goose Stole PAXmas, Vol. 2 – from Yankee Joe

    Following the PAXville beatdown this morning, Goose and Popeye were discussing mental toughness. That point where you are up against the wall, begging for the pain to end…for someone to save you. Popeye commented, “Well, it’s got to end at some point.” Through the endorphins kicking and my legs destroyed by humping monkeys, I was reminded of a similar sentiment.

    In 2014, Admiral William H. McRaven, a Navy Seal, delivered a commencement speech at The University of Texas. No doubt, many of you are familiar with it. Adm. McRaven shared 10 lessons he learned from BUDS training, considered the most grueling trials the military has to offer. He shared these as advice to help the young graduates “change the world.” If you haven’t watched it, you should. The link is below.

    All of the lessons are relatable to civilian life, but it was #10 that most stood out to me. The lesson discussed a brass bell that hung in the center of the BUDS training facility, visible to all of the candidates.

    McRaven said, “All you have to do to quit is ring the bell.

    Ring the bell, and you no longer have to wake up at five o’clock.

    Ring the bell and you no longer have to be in the freezing cold swims.

    Ring the bell and you no longer have to do the runs, the obstacle course, the PT, and you no longer have to endure the hardships of training.

    All you have to do is ring the bell to get out.

    If you want to change the world, DON’T EVER, EVER RING THE BELL.”


    ——————–

    Without hesitation, each of you, the Men of F3 Thibodaux, personify this idea. And perhaps none more than our stalwart Goose. F3 has a term, “IM3,” which is a Man’s statement to the PAX that “I AM THIRD.” The idea of ‘living third’ means that as men, we deliberately place ourselves third behind God and our Community (including our families).

    When I started F3, it was about ME. I needed to get in shape. I needed an outlet. I needed to fit into my pants. I needed to make friends…like real adult, male friends.

    I needed…something.

    I believe Goose’s vision of F3 teaches us that those needs, while they may be important, only matter when they are pursued by virtue of servant leadership. As men, there can be no greater call than to love God through serving our families and our community.

    In this light, ‘never ringing the bell’ is not about working through our own pain, nor is it about serving our own needs. Rather, it is a decision to put our oxygen mask on first before assisting others.

    Our strength comes not from ‘Man Makers’, Goblet Squats, or Thrusters (well maybe for Wet Tap). By ringing the bell, we would give up on far more than just ourselves. The stakes are too high. It’s an awesome and terrifying charge.

    Of course, no man can do it alone, and that is where God and each of you come in. Every beatdown, every exercise, every rep, every prayer…I am surrounded by humble warriors who REFUSE to quit. Not for your own sakes, but for the call you CHOSE to answer.

    Goose, you are the definition of a servant leader. It would be impossible to describe the impact you have had on so many of us (cardboard cutouts of your likeness not excluded). Besides…your humility wouldn’t tolerate the praise anyway.

    Instead, I’ll just say, thank you. Thank you from all of us…for never, EVER ringing the bell.

    ——————–

    Last Stanzas from Today’s Story:

    “Maybe F3 doesn’t only come from beatdowns – or a backblast word.
    Maybe F3, just perhaps – means humility, servant leadership, striving to live third!

    And what happened then? Well, in Paxville they say
    The side vents on Goose’s short shorts grew three sizes that day!

    From that day forth, Goose built out his legacy;
    Teaching men where they should stand, behind God and their family

    Though – from the HEART of the BayoU, he soon will move on

    In PAXville – the HEART of the Goose Q, we’ll still carry on.

    Merry Christmas!

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

    ——————–

    The Ridiculous Beatdown

    Warmarama

    SSHs
    Abe Vigodas (slow windmills) – Prancer is a terrible movie, btw.
    Arm circles
    Squats
    Imperial Squat Walkers
    Self Love
    Shark hops
    Partners
    Mosey to baseball field, bring coupons

    ——————–

    Tribute to Anker (For Unto Us a Child Is Born – Handel)

    “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6).

    Burpees on: Son, Child, Wonderful, Counselor, God, Father, Prince of Peace (approx. 43 burpees)

    Thang 1: Goose Training Camp

    – Narration #1 (this was far toooo long)

    Dora’s
    – P1 runs
    – P2 J’Lo’s, Plank Jacks, Mountain Climbers, chilcutt peter parkers
    – Flapjack
    – Four sets
    Mosey to playground

    Roof Crawling Practice
    – P1 bear crawl to other side of hill; at bottom, 20 derkins; traverse the apparatus, go down the slide, mosey back to partner
    – P2 does Genuflects
    – Flapjack
    Mosey to PAXville

    ——————–

    Thang 2: The Looting of Paxville

    – Narration #2

    House 1 – “Smooth Like Honey(suckle)” Home of the Smoothie Sting
    – AMRAP
    – P1 Nur to cone, sprint back
    – P2 monkey humpers
    – MOT – Bear Crawl or Crab Walk

    House 2 – “Dr. and Mr. Owens”
    – AMRAP
    – Man Makers
    – MOT – Bear Crawl or Crab Walk

    House 3 – “St. Cardinal Co-Cathedral and Coffee Co.”
    – AMRAP
    – T – BOMBs (start in crab position, legs out together, legs apart, legs out together, back to crab position
    – MOT – Bear Crawl or Crab Walk

    House 4 – “La Casa Drogas de Tana”
    – AMRAP
    – Pickleball volley
    – 2 burpees on every dropped ball

    House 5 – “EnRon We (Don’t) Trust”
    – AMRAP
    – Thrusters
    – MOT – Bear Crawl or Crab Walk

    House 6 – “Eye Candy Captains, LLC” Safety First, America’s Worst
    – AMRAP
    – The Jurp (by 10’s) – bet you can’t do more than three
    – Speed squats, Merkins, Mtn Climbers, Jump squats, LBCs

    ——————–

    Thang 3: Back to the Goose cave

    – P2 rides P1, flapjack at halfway point
    – Return to start, P2 rides P1 like a donkey, flapjack at halfway point
    – Sprint to Goose cave (Peltch Treehouse)

    ——————–

    Thang 4: Paxmas came anyway

    – Narration #3
    – Sprint back to PAXville and Goose returns PAX gifts

    Goose returns presents to the Pax

    – F3 Thib – 4th Wave (Class of 2023) – Black paint coupons
    – F3 Thib – 3rd Wave – Black and Maroon coupons
    – F3 Thib 2nd Wave – Black, Gold, and/or Maroon Coupons
    OG’s – Black and White with Gold trim Coupons
    Goose – White, Black and Gold Coupon

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out

    ——————–

    How The Goose Stole PAXmas

    Narration #1 How the Goose Stole Paxmas!

    Every Pax down in Paxville liked PAXmas a lot
    But the Goose who lived just up the bayou, did not!

    The Goose hated PAXmas! The whole PAXmas season!
    Now, please don’t ask why. Pope’s athletic prowess prolly the reason.

    It could be because Goose hated the cold.
    It could be because, like his truck, he was too old.

    But I think that the most likely reason of all
    Was that his heart, like Dox’s Mudgear shorts, was three sizes too small.

    But, whatever the reason, his heart or his arthritis ,
    He stood there on PAXmas Eve ISI’ing just to spite us

    He stared down from the Stage with an indignant, head tilting view
    At the warm lighted windows along Lafourche Bayou

    For he knew every Pax down in Paxville below
    Was busy posting stupid GIF’s and jammin’ to Bieber’s Mistletoe.

    He thought of Paradox and his wife who’s a doctor
    Dox claims to be one too which shamefully mocks her.

    He thought of the drugs Montana be slingin’
    And he shuddered at the bad cadence that he always be bringin’

    The Goose remembered the Goats and some random machine
    That dude showed up for a month, never again to be seen

    Then there was Cardinal, whoop sales-man of the cloth
    But watch him fake burpees, his sins point to sloth
    But he’s a priest with no equal, becoming a Bishop is next
    But God help you, oh good Lawd help you if you send a green text.

    Wet Tap jump squatting with coupons, that’s what real men did
    He never got the memo – that Jurptober had ended.

    He thought of Lil’ Cuz, bald head shiny like the sea
    That neck like a tree trunk, like Treebeard with Gris Gris
    A patriot among patriots, you’ll oft hear him decree
    “This is ‘Merica, Jack…Yee Yee!”

    He reflected on Superfun(d) and his posts that were laggin’
    But Fun(d) redeemed himself fully, naming Jeaux’s Prius the Douche Wagon.

    In a similar way, Fence Post showed up in stints,
    But without any postin’, we’ll just call him ‘Fence’

    He hated the youngsters who thought they were wicked SMAAHHT
    But Shart-’eh got more than he bargained for…
    that time he tried to FAAHHT

    Goldilox with calves as big as your head
    He’s a really nice guy — all the PAX said
    But when the three bears tried to scare him out of the bed
    Lox made a rug out of Papa Bear instead.

    The Goose said good riddance to ‘Ol Paradiddle;
    He’s a drummer, remember…F3 was fourth fiddle.
    But woe to those who judge, you’ll make The Saturdiddle List
    Beware three inch running shorts with a mustache emerging from the mist.

    He tolerated Kilo and his twelve different ve-HICLES
    He loathed Picadilly’s balls and Tana’s subsequent pickles
    With falafels in the kitchen and the cross court dinkin’
    Piccadilly’s doing Pickle Pounders for his bio on LinkedIn

    Then there’s Safety Valve and Honeysuckle whose beatdowns we dread
    They both claim to love you then play Christopher Cross instead.
    With the nurring, burping, and merking, they leave us for dead
    Imagine a Suckle – Valve twofer —
    hey, that’s what she said.

    But what about Smooth, always working the night shift
    After pickle pounders with Kilmer, we thought he might drift
    Instead he’s founding AO’s, he’s def here to stay
    The tougher the challenge, the more you’ll hear….OhhhKAYYYY!

    Goose considered Popeye, an OG of OG’s
    Juicy like the chicken, played out like Drew Brees
    Post hernia operation, F3’s ‘Welcome Back Cotter’
    I’m sure whining about his scar, just like Harry Potter.

    Enron, he mused, seemed to always face the worst
    With his lack of rhythm and tendonitis that he constantly nursed
    But those are just the reasons, second and first
    For two SV500’s, he picked Pukee Jeaux –
    he HAS to be cursed.
    Speaking of Yankee Jeaux and his phonetics so fine,
    Did you know LILLICK is actually pronounced LIL-ITCH
    Then Ronnie – SCHREIT NEIN!

    STOP—————————————————————————–

    Narration #2 Before Lazy Dora in Paxville

    “And they’re hanging their stockings,” he snarled with a sneer.
    “Tomorrow is PAXmas! It’s practically here!”

    Then he growled, with his Goose fingers nervously drumming,
    As he sat on the toilet nervously humming
    Then he said, “I must find a way to keep PAXmas from coming!”

    “For, tomorrow, I know that ALL the PAX men
    Will wake bright and early and rush to the Den.”

    “And then the GroupMe posts! Oh, the posts! posts! posts! posts!
    There’s one thing I hate! It’s all the posts! But That I hate the most.”

    It wasn’t just the abysmal GIF game that rankled his chest
    But also the old fart snark from America’s Best.
    This dude rolled up to a PAX of F3
    WIth Dad jokes, an electric truck and, an alleged hurt knee
    Then he said, “Wait, wait there’s more –
    I LOVE an extraneous JurPEE.

    Not to be outdone, the reigning king of the “No Show”
    French Horn, apparently hornless, has no horn to blow.
    True, his 80’s knowledge is well beyond measure
    His ability to use ‘Bruhhhh’ in every sentence?
    Well that’s the real treasure.

    So the Goose sat there honking…

    “And they’ll mumble! And mumble! And they’ll chatter! Chatter! Chatter!”

    And the more the Goose thought of the Pax PAXmas Chatter,
    The more the Goose thought,
    “Is it me or am I getting fatter?”

    “Why for forty-one years I’ve put up with it now!
    I must stop PAXmas from coming! But how?”

    Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
    The Goose got a wonderful, condescending, self righteous idea!

    “I know just what to do!” The Goose laughed with a frown.
    “I’ll destroy all their dreams with a TuesdayTuff beatdown.”

    “I’ll steal F3 PAXmas, there’s no limit to how far I’ll stoop
    I’ll even find a way to kill that stupid [bleep] Whoop.”

    “What a great Goosey TRICK!” he mumbled with snarls
    I’ll do a Bleep Test…you know, like a…DICK-ENS – comma – Charles!”

    STOP ——————————————————–

    Narration #3 Redemption Arc

    It was quarter of dawn. And the Pax still a-slumber,
    Hangovers en route from Enron and Wet Tap’s Jucifer tumbler.

    He took their presents, their headbands, and even their rucksacks,
    He scoffed at their cadence, lame excuses and fartsacks!

    Ten thousand feet up – up the side of Mount Tana
    He ran like an addict on AstraZeneca manna.

    “Pooh-pooh to the Pax!” he was goosily humming.
    “They’re finding out now that no PAXmas is coming!”

    “They’re just waking up! I know just how it will go.
    Shamefully hitting snooze one time, maybe mo’
    And They’ll kick and they’ll yell from ceiling to the flo’
    Then they’ll see there’s no PAXmas, not even an AO.”

    “That’s a noise,” grinned the Goose, “that I simply must hear!”
    He paused, and the Goose put a hand to his ear.

    And he did hear a sound rising over the swamp.
    It started out slow, then it started to stomp.

    But this sound was NOT, no it was not getting madder!
    Why, this sound sounded joyful – it sounded like chatter!

    What was this incredible sound, sounding deep from the gut,
    Well Lil’ John asked Paradox the same question,
    “Turn down for What?”

    Every Pax down in Paxville, the tall and the small,
    Was posting for a PAXmas beatdown – super tight shorts and all!

    He hadn’t stopped PAXmas from coming! It came!
    After having ten kids, it came just the same!

    And the Goose, with his Goose feet paced to and fro,
    Stood puzzling and puzzling. “How could it be so?

    “It came without coupons! It came without rucksacks!
    It came without backblasts, Kool Jobs, or pinched nutsacks!”

    He honked and honked till his honker was sore.
    Then the Goose thought of something he hadn’t before.

    Maybe F3 doesn’t only come from beatdowns – or a backblast word.
    Maybe F3, just perhaps – means humility, servant leadership, striving to live third!

    And what happened then? Well, in Paxville they say
    The side vents on Goose’s short shorts grew three sizes that day!

    From that day forth, Goose built out his legacy;
    Teaching men where they should stand, behind God and their family

    Though – from the HEART of the BayoU, he – soon – will – move – on

    In PAXville – the HEART of the Goose Q, we’ll – still – carry – on.

    A Very Merry Christmas to Everyone!

  • The Samson – from Smooth Operator

    The Samson

    Attendance

    Goose

    Pope

    Yankee Jeaux

    Paradox

    Goldilox

    Wet Tap

    Americas Best

    Honey Suckle

    Safety Valve

    FNG (Tana)

    Lil Cuz

    Cardinal

    Piccadilly

    Smooth Operator

    YHC started planning this beatdown pretty much the same way I normally do. I read through the list of Saint’s feast day, I look at what happen throughout history on this day, and I read the daily mass reading for that particular day. Well, this time the 1st reading for 12/19 really stuck out to me. Judges Chapter 13 the origin story of Samson, is what YHC read. Samson happens to be the name of one of the babies YHC and his M lost a couple months ago. So, this story hit me like a ton of bricks, and I quickly read the rest of the story. You see originally, I thought about taking it easy on the PAX since I had been out of pocket for a couple of weeks, but as soon as I read this, YHC relinquished control for what was going to happen.

    YHC was allowed to switch over from day shift to night shift, on the morning of this Tuesday Tough. I even slept in a little and got to the Stage around 0430 to unload a couple tires and mauls. As YHC sat anxiously awaiting the PAX. 0505 came around and YHC was nervous, but the PAX came through for me. We were 14 strong for a brisk 40-degree Tuesday Tough.

    Warmarama

    SSH

    Imperial Walkers

    Windmills

    Arm Circles

    Cherry Pickers

    Butt Kicks

    High Knees

    A few things from the story I found inspiration from were:

    – He was consecrated a Nazirite from birth by an angel. A Nazirite is someone who will not eat or drink from the vines or strong drink, will not cut his hair, and will not touch a dead body.

    – Samson killed a lion with his bare hands.

    – He killed 30 Philistines over a riddle he gambled on.

    – He killed 1000 Philistines with the jawbone of a donkey.

    – After he was captured and had his eyes gouged out by the Philistines he pulled down a Philistine temple and killed himself and a whole lot of Philistines that were there mocking him.

    – Samson had superhuman strength when the Spirit of the Lord came upon him and brought him to victory over the Philistines.

    With those things in mind lets jump back to the workout.

    Thang 1

    The Samson

    After picking up the speaker, our coupons, and a pair of rims from Wet Tap, the Pax moseyed down to the old coupon corner for this morning’s insanity. Due to Samson killing 1030 Philistines I figured this would be a good round number of reps for the PAX as a collective to shoot for. All the PAX lined up on the first crack and awaited instruction. 1030 was divided by the total number of PAX in attendance and 77 total reps was the amount each PAX would be required to do to move to the next exercise. The PAX whom finished first could either help the slower PAX get to their number or wait for the PAX to finish and do pickle pounders since this was the sin that lead to Samson’s demise. 2 lucky PAX would be allowed to beat on a tire with a maul with all their reps counting to our total 1030. This seemed to be lost in translation from YHC and PAX and the tires became additional coupons for the likes of Wet Tap and Pope who performed admirably this morning. The PAX seemed to be mildly annoyed by the number of reps but were willing to get after it, until YHC mentioned that the first exercise was Lion Killers (Thruster) due to Samson killing a lion with his bare hands. You could have sworn that I kicked Yankee Jeaux’s cup of coffee over and took Tana’s pickle ball paddle. This response quickly caused YHC to say go and that worked pretty well to calm the storm. YHC put on some slower than I remembered music to get us through the beatdown. YHC crossed 40 when the American Beast hit 77 and begged me to let him do some of my reps. YHC let the exercise go for a couple minutes longer and allowed a couple other guys to cross the 77 rep threshold before I pulled the plug to get to part 2 of the exercise.

    Part 2 of the exercise is or mode of transport to the next street crack. Our mode of transport was moving like and inch worm with a J Lo in the middle of it. YHC calls these Delilah’s. Basically you extend your brick out as far as you can, drop your elbows on your block, perform a J Lo, and then get your feet to the edge of your block and repeat until you go past the second asphalted line in the concrete. This seemed to be less troublesome to the PAX than part one. After this came Part 3.

    Part 3 was about remembering where we came from. This means we would be running suicides all the way back to our starting spot. The thoroughbreds really shined on this part. After part 3 we would be ready for exercise 2 part 1. Note part 2 and 3 are repeated for each exercise.

    On the start of exercise 2 everyone seemed to accept the fact that we would be trying to take on the impossible… Or so I thought. YHC announced the next exercise being 77 WW3 sit ups and the ever quiet always chill Safety Valve looked at me like I had pink eye. After hearing his concern and doing a couple reps I quickly realized by golly he was right. After checking on the leader’s rep count YHC dropped the number of reps down to 25 and 25 WW2 sit-ups because he is a gracious Q. After this we performed Part 2 and Part 3 in the same manner as before.

    Exercise 3 happened to be YHC’s favorite exercise and would tie nicely into the theme of this beatdown. Man makers with a donkey kick was on the agenda, but due to time restrictions YHC cut out the donkey kicks. The donkey kicks were in there because Samson, filled with the Spirit of the Lord, killed 1000 Philistines with a jawbone of a donkey. Once YHC announced the exercise Boss Man Goose had a safety briefing on how to do a correct man maker, which gave YHC a chance to catch some wind since it seemed to not want to stay in the lunges. After this, YHC experienced some tremendous feats, such as Pope and Wet Tap knocking out the reps with tires instead of coupons and Cardinal and Dilly pushing their bodies to the limit and giving 100% effort. All in all, a couple people reached 77 and we quickly moved into Part 2. Part 3 was cut out due to time, so we wasted no time in jumping into exercise 4.

    Exercise 4 was a spur of the moment decision, and it was a good one. Coupon swings were called out and we did coupon swings till 0600. After this we hustled back to the Stage to count off.

    Once at the Stage we counted off. Lil Cuz announced he was feeling very Samsonish which tells YHC that a Part 2 will be needed for this saga. During COT we talked about RunCajunRun coming up and Saturday, Yankee Joe and Tana are having rival Christmas Q’s. For more information contact Tana, and Yankee. After this Pope prayed us out. This beatdown for me was all about putting your trust in God to give you the strength to get through what seems to be impossible. Just like Samson, we need to turn to God and trust his plan. Either good or bad outcome, God will get us through.

    Thanks for coming along with me fellas

    SYITG,

    Smooth Operator

  • Burpee, Merkin, Squat OH mile – from Safety Valve

    It was another cool morning at the stage with 6 of the PAX showing up this early Monday morning. YHC tried to throw the bait out there with a Forrest Gump reference. Who doesn’t love a good Forrest Gump theme? But alas, they are all privy to my ways now… Bait them in and come out with a workout that doesn’t even involve anything in the hype. Hate to see it.

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Mountain climbers
    Toy soldiers
    Imperial walkers
    Willy mays hays
    Wind mills
    Arm circles forward and backward
    Self love

    The thang

    It’s simple. Run three miles, do 60 burpees, 80 merkins and 100 squats.

    Burpee mile – run a mile along rich man’s loop, stop at the previously determined stops (4 total) and do 15 burpees

    Merkin mile – do it again but add 5 to the rep count to make it 20 merkins at each stop

    Squat mile – plan was to make this 25 squats at each stop, but time was going to run short, so an Indian run mile took its place.

    Bonus: Every member of the PAX has his own mile pace. Goose for example, is like Forrest Gump, he just keeps going and never slows. Others, including myself, likes a more leisurely pace. To keep the PAX together, YHC devised a social experiment. At each stop along the mile, whoever made it to the exercise stops and completed the exercise had to hold 6 inches until everyone caught up and finished the exercise. Would Goose slow down to prevent himself from having to do more work? Would the slower members of the PAX speed up to help a Goose in need? I really thought that goose would be holding 6 inches for 3 minutes at each stop, but something miraculous occurred. We kept together where the 6 inch hold rarely happened. YHC thinks most of us would agree we ran faster than we would have if goose wasn’t there. A humble goose would never admit he ran slower than he wanted so the PAX would stay together. It was a beautiful thing.

    Finished with 1 minute of holding six inches while goose told a miraculous story that involved a man that was well endowed with more than 6 inches.

    COT, announcements, prayers lifted up, goose prayed us out.

    Always a pleasure to lead. Thanks for waking up, showing up, and pushing for a better version of yourself