6 Total HIMs met for acceleration
Warm up –
Arm Circles
Upper Body Twists
Slow Vagoda’s
7 Min of Ab Heaven
30 reps each – 4 ct
Hello Dolly
Flutter Kick
Leg Raise
LBC
Freddy Mercs
BB Situp
Main Event
11’s on Route 66
Out – 10 Inch Worm Merkins 1 L/R Wife Pleaser, Backwards Run to next light
Return Trip
10 Squats – 1 BB Situp – Karaoke to next light
Cool Down
Broga
COT
At the flags the PAX opted for a wind shield so we moseyed to the JPAS where we proceeded to warm up:
Inch Worm Merkins x 10
Old Mountain Man Pooper Good Mornings x10
Arm Circle Circuit x 10
Thang 1 –
With coupons – Full body complex
1 rep each, then 2, then 5,10,15,20
SUMO Squat
Row
Curl
OHP
DO-Ceps ( Because there is no TRI, only DO)
Negative Curl
Thang 2 –
11’s
L/R Leg Wife Pleasers
Run to top of stairs
L/R leg step ups
Run back
Mosey back to flag
COT
It’s been 45 years since the last total solar eclipse crossed the United States and it will be another 20 years before it happens again. To mark the significance of this day, 9 brave PAX journeyed to Kennarie Ridge to sacrifice their blood sweat and tears on the grounds of the JPAX. After giving the disclaimer on-time, we headed to the launch pad for warm-ups:
Warm-Up – IC
Samson Stretch (each leg) – 10 second hold
Slows Squats x 10
Slow Abe Vigoda x 10
Forward Arm Circles x15
Backwards Arm Circles x15
Seal Claps x15
SSH x20
Imperial Walkers x10
Hillbillies x10
Maybe it was the cool 68 degree weather or the excitement for the pending eclipse later in the day but there was a notable amount of chatter among the PAX during warm-ups as compared to a typical Monday morning. But, then, we moseyed to the JPAX. The chatter would soon be replaced by an eerie silence, an occasional complaint, and/or a few vocal and physical signs of pain and agony as they endured the “eclipse” beatdown.
Thang 1 – “Eclipse” Beatdown with a buildup from partial to full exercises – OYO
Starting at the JPAX flags
Run to the JPAX “ramp of pain”
Bear crawl up ramp
Lunges down the ramp
Run back to JPAX flags
Burpees x10
Repeat Ramp/Run
Burpees x10
Merkins x20
Repeat Ramp/Run
Burpees x10
Merkins x20
Box Jumps x30
Repeat Ramp/Run
Burpees x10
Merkins x20
Box Jumps x30
SSH x40
Thang 2 – Post Eclipse “Recovery” – OYO
11s – Burpees/Merkins with a run around the narrow JPAX circular path each round
Headed back to flag for COT with special intentions for Frac Sac and Boo Boo as well as safe travels for everyone participating in the eclipse events later in the day.
YHC, in a not so cryptic way, let the pax know on the Q sheet the BD would be for fools since it WAS April Fool’s Day (a favorite of mine for nonsense, Tom Foolery, and shenanigans).
Warmorama featuring a disclaimer that the standard warm up song would NOT b part of today—Frac was giddy…alas, it IS 4/1: Rapper’s Delight it is. A little more stretch type stuff since it’s cooler temps still: tie fighters, grass grabbers, MMP along with the usual SSH, OH/seal claps, PP and of course MNC: I mean, BOTH Frac and Charmin!? It would b a sin not to; plus the aforementioned nonsense et al. Mosey to JPAX for coupon retrieval with the normal playlist—this was soon to change for these Fools…
The (Yen/Yang)Thang:
YHC explained the Yen would be the regular exercise in cadence followed by the Yang which entails a more time under tension version (a la Triple Shift) in cadence.
There was considerable debate/dissent when the Yang was described that those things were not opposites (except I’m the Q—dammit) once we got going there was enough groaning from the PAX which confirms they are indeed the Fools today. Time for the playlist switch: BWAAHAHAHA
Squats X 15 (coupon)/Yang: hold bottom of squat for 3 count and push ground away, squeeze glutes at top for each rep x 10
Merkins x 15/Yang: hold mission impossible for 3 count and extend arms with plank jack at top for each rep x 10
Reverse lunges R x 15/Yang: hold left leg at 90 degrees/R leg full reverse lunge with tall torso for 3 count, stand up and touch L elbow-R knee x 10
Derkins/ x 15 Yang: one derkin to Peter Parker x 8 (Frac HATED this and committed to doing it in the future)
Reverse lunges L x15: hold right leg at 90 degrees/L leg full reverse lunge with tall torso for 3 count, stand up and touch R elbow-L knee x 10
Irkins x 15/Yang: one irkin to Parker Peter x 5
Tricep press x 15 (coupon)/Yang: hold tricep dip at the bottom for three count, up for rep
OH press x 15 (coupon)/Hold top OH press, squeezing pecs tight for 3 count down the rep count x 10 (Charmin couldn’t tell if he was squeezing at the top—bro, do u have pecs???)
Ring of Fire/Ice (10 count, holding plank for Fire and Qs count of Mary for Ice): Shoulder taps followed by LBCs x 30. Time to return coupons and head to flag. COT.
0530 came around to see 10 Pax at El Diablo and all 10 embraced the morning walking backwards as is shown on YouTube in Knees over Toes
3/4 around the track, 8 of us peeled off to the shelter and Scantron & Rougarou continued on for knees over toes
The 8 of us embraced more knees over toes calf raises and tibialis anterior training mixed in with sit ups, merkins, shoulder taps, Derkins, lunges, and Bulgarian split lunges
I love F3 and my F3 brothers
Conditions: 80 with 88% Humidity. Heat Index of 85. Wind 4 mph from the SSW
Pax: Rev Lifts, Mopster, Spouse o’ Science Weaver, It’s Just a Rash, Poolside, Annie Liebovitz, The Perfect Merk, Benthere Dunthat, and me, Hawg
Warm-up: SSH x 31, IW x 20, DQ x 10, Peter Parker x 15, Grass Grabbers x 10, Parker Peter x 15, LSS x 14, Tempo Merks x 14
The Thang: The guys clearly wanted to search for Plutonium. One look at this group and I knew there would be casualties…lots of them. But maybe we could find some less dangerous isotopes near the rock pile. In retrospect, I know, that sounds stupid. We did find three isotopes of Plutonium-9 at the rock pile. I didn’t know what would happen, but I knew there was only one way to find out. There were children present, there were old geezers present (whom I fully respect) and then there was HG and me who were still hurting from our last exposure. It might kill us all. It was too dangerous, but I couldn’t resist.
The exposure lasted for all but 5 minutes of the workout. It burned me bad. I had to step away several times. I had to have several guys count to ten to make sure I didn’t go back in too soon. It was an embarrassing number of 10 counts, but my body was burned badly. Maybe it was for the best. We were clearly infiltrated by a German spy, but all of his pictures were of us standing around, protecting ourselves from more exposure.
Mary: With about 4 minutes left, we circled up for some Mary. Rudy needed burpees and YHC agreed.
• Burpees x 10
• Dying Cockroach x 20
• Burpees x 10
• Flutter Kicks x 15
A wise man once said that if you don’t do at least 50 burpees in a workout, you have failed as a Q. YHC failed in ohhhh so many ways today.
Mosey back to the flag for COT
After all was done, almost everyone made it back to their car. It was a stronger group than I thought. The child seemed to be doing the best of all. Rudy got to the top of the levee and could go no farther. I never got out of the park. I’m laying here on my back speaking text to Siri so that I can finish this BB. Thirty-five people have stepped over me to get to the track. I’ve had a dog defecate within 18 inches of my head. Rudy’s caterer is now on lap 56. The basketball ref that wears the jorts is about to start mowing. I pray he sees me. If I am here tomorrow when you all show up for the Wally Sprint, please move me to a safer place and tell my daughter that I am sorry I broke the phone stand she made for me. That was a bad omen. I should have heeded the warning.
You know Charmin and Hokie and Tool
and Sogo
Heisenberg and Mop and Rev Sox and Belloq
But do you recall
The most famous reindeer of all?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows
All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
“F3, with your fitness so fine
Won’t you do some burpees tonight?”
Then how the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
You’ll go down in history”
The Warm Up
SSH – 25
Imperial Walkers – 20
Peter Parkers – 20
Grass Grabbers – 20
Hillbillies – 20
Reindeer Games
The Pax split up into two teams of 4:
Mop, YHC, Tool, and Heisenberg vs. Charmin, Sogo, Hokie, and Belloq
The teams will play the reindeer games while one pax member plays the role of Rudolf. He misses out on the reindeer games while doing burpees. Finish 30 burpees and tag another pax member to take your place as Rudolph.
Game One
F3 dodgeball – standard dodgeball but once you are out, you hold plank or do merkins until a teammate catches the ball and you can reenter the game. The team with the most players out at the end of 9 minutes loses. Each team had one player out so dodgeball was a tie.
Game Two
Rarajipari – get your team’s baseball to the dog park statue only using your feet. Once you get to the dog park, travel back to the top of the largest hill. You can’t kick the ball twice in a row. Team Belloq wins game 2 by climbing the hill first.
Game Three
Ultimate Frisbee – standard Frisbee rules but do 3 merkins for every turnover and 5 merkins when you are scored on. Team Belloq wins game 3 at a score of 2-0.
Game Four
Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animals Race – Relay race: bear crawl round one, crab walk round two, duck walk round three. Race down to the cone like an animal and back. First team to finish wins. Team Mop wins game 4.
Mary
You can’t skip Mary on Christmas Morning
American Hammers – 20
Hello Dolly – 20
Flutter Kicks – 20
Penguins – 20
Circle of Trust
Count off, Name-O-Rama, and announcements. Remember to pray for all those who are alone or experiencing loss this Christmas season. Find a way to bring family and community to someone who is on the outside. Pray that we will continue to push one another to improve in 2020.
-Rev Sox
