F3 New Orleans

Tag: Mathlete

  • QUAD-rophenia

    Blame Akbar.  This was his doing, really.  His “block party,” (henceforth known as ‘Akbar’s Abomination’) – which was preceded by Tank’s Murph – pretty much guaranteed that Saturday’s beatdown would focus on legs and core.  

    But first, the pre-thang : the usual 2 miles out and back with the usual suspects.  Now, YHC was definitely not looking at Bushwacker’s butt.  And neither was Tank.  But I mean, really, when the guy’s shorts are that tight and he’s running in front of you, it’s hard not to take note.  Looked like he had those things painted on.  Tank was comfortable enough in his masculinity to throw out a few catcalls.  Though, judging by Wacker’s mustache (which was recently tamed from a Guy Fawkes-type stache to a more respectable – and less anarchistic – Tom Selleck-type), it is possible that he is more in tune with the modern trends of the day and hey, what do I know, maybe the short shorts are making a comeback this year?

    Yes, this was created with MS Paint.

    Back at the flag, there was a surprisingly large group milling about.  Most noticeable were all the 2.0’s.  It was great to see the Baby Yoda, Pope, and Pixie Stick (along with Grover, who is now a fixture at most beatdowns) posting alongside their fathers.  Also of note, the (second) return of Backdraft, who’s already committed to leading in the near future.

    Warmorama: Good mornings, torso twists, IWs, toe touches, SSHs, merkins, shoulder taps, high knees, all at or around 15x IC.

    Somewhere around the SSH’s, Sparky shows up.  Turns out Bushwacker does not stand alone in his love of Magnum P.I.

    The Thang:

    Simple enough opening routine: Lt. Dan’s to the gazebo.  Which, okay, yes, is about 400 yards.  And felt longer.  But at least the guys had some time to catch up.  

    Next, Core COP: The Bruce Lee.  We’d do all six exercises, x20 IC, then take a 30 second break:

    • Hammers
    • Leg Raises
    • LBCs
    • Heel Touches
    • Crunchy Frogs
    • 100’s

    Rinse & Repeat. Initially we were going to do three rounds, but honestly, YHC can’t multitask – I can either call out cadence for 6 routines or I can suffer through them properly, but doing both proved too much for a third round.  So onward to the bridge!

    Partner up for a Dora:

    P1 runs up and over the bridge and back to swap with P2, who begins knocking out the cumulative reps of:

    • 100 Merkin Toe Touches
    • 200 Freak Nasties
    • 300 Squats

    Nearly out of time, YHC called it so we could make it back to the flag promptly.  Double lined Indian Run back to the flag, where we closed it out with a quick set of Jane Fonda’s.

    Countdown, namerama, and welcoming of FNG Pixie Stick!

    Grover closed us out in a prayer of thanks and everyone set out to coffeteria.  YHC feels blessed to have this group of men pushing me to be a better version of myself.  It felt good to be back out there with such a large group (25 men!), and to see the gift of F3 passed on to so many 2.0’s.  Thank you men for the opportunity to lead!  

  • Misty Morning Beatdown

    YHC ate way too much over his Christmas break and so was quick to respond to Steve’s call to Q this morning. After joining Legal, Hammer and Zoolander for a little Foreplay in the Gloom, YHC circled up the PAX, partnered up with Grover and got down to business with a warmup.

    YHC and Grover rotated warmup exercises of Imperial Walkers, SSHs, Hillbillys, Seal Jacks, Butt Kicks and High Knees, all 20x IC. Good job Grover in leading for the first time.

    The PAX then headed down the Lakefront for a set of Dora 1-2-3s with a partner: 100 hand release Merkins, 200 45 degree lunges, and 300 SSHs with bear crawls and crab walks in between.

    After a brief recovery walk and a short mosey a little further eastward down the Lakefront, YHC set up a few cones for a version of Catch Me if You Can. Partner 1 backpedals about 10 yards from cone 1 to cone 2 while Partner 2 holds at cone 1. As soon as Partner 1 hits cone 2, Partner 2 sprints to try to beat his backpedaling partner to cone 3 about 30 yards away. Recovery walk back with the partners switching spots and then repeating.

    Three more sets with three different partners and it was time to dig into the bag of tricks to retrieve a ball for the next stage of our beat down.

    The PAX divided into three teams, each with a ball, for a race to the Harbor playground. Despite HanDcock, Esquire’s attempt to confuse matters with lawyerly questions, the rules were very simple for the race: PAX cannot run when holding the ball and each time the ball hits the ground the entire team has to do one burpee before getting underway again. Serious high jinx ensued, and YHC cannot even remember who won except that it wasn’t his team.

    The PAX then hit some staggered Merkins and took a brief reprieve and then it was a race back to the starting point, this time using only your non-dominant hand to catch and throw.

    Mosey to the virtual shovel flag for some Mary with dynamic back and front planks.

    Countorama, nameorama and Goose led us out in prayer on our way to the coffeeteria.

    Moleskin

    If you are old and grumpy like YHC and think that our youth should be doing something other than spending all of their time glued to their phones, then you need to meet 9 year old Bear and 17 year old Grover. Bear can bear crawl like, well, a bear and singlehandedly kept his team in contention for the ball games this morning and his dad honest on the hand release Merkins. Grover quickly accepted YHC’s invitation to lead this morning’s warmup and cheerfully executed like a seasoned veteran. It is absolutely fabulous to see these two young men join their dads in the Gloom. Mathlete and Akbar should be very proud of their 2.0s.

    The Krazy Ivan is coming up, Comrades. All Northshore PAX need to clear their calendars for the evening of January 18th. It is imperative that we have maximum participation. The Southshore PAX have been gloating over last year’s victory and posting pictures of themselves with the Freedom Hammer all year. It’s enough to make you sick.

  • 5 year CONVERGENCE!

    Well – 5 years later we are still going STRONG! I remember when we started thinking I don’t have time in my life for this group. After a week of beatdowns I knew that we had to commit to growing this group – it had already begun to change my life and they way I interact with people everyday. I know after a nasty 530am beatdown – that I can handle anything the day throws at me. Thanks to all the guys here in NOLA that keep things running so that we can continue to be a group. Thanks to OBT for taking time out of his life to get us going in the GLOOM! Looking forward to 5 more years of F3 in NOLA.

    Today the pre-run started with about 20 PAX for a run down BAYOU ST JOHN. Beautiful weather, cool air and a crisp breeze. We ran 12 min out and 12 min back so that we could arrive in time for the fun.

    KUCH – has a been a great EH’er and a nice addition to F3 NOLA. Kuch started the party off with a WARM UP circle. SSH, Imp Walkers, Arm Circles, Peter Parkers, Merks.

    Then we divided up by 5 count into teams. We did 5 burpees, 5 Lunges, 5 Merkins, 5 Squats, 5 Plank Jacks. Bear Crawl across the lawn. Run back. KUCH did an excellent job getting the teams set quickly

    5 reps. We ran out of time and had to call it after 3 reps. No team won due to the shortened KUCH set. Kuch represented NOLA well – with a pretty gnarly start to a celebratory event.

    2nd set with DURACELL – FROM BATON ROUGE

    Duracell brought out 2 coupons. 40lb cinderblocks. 2 PAX ran to the center and did 3 thrusters. We went two different directions. A slow starter but once the PAX got the hang out this one – this was a solid beatdown. Duracell had to do about 15 exercises in cadence to 20. Exercises ranged from a regular plank, to shoulder taps, to merk variations to squat/lunge variations. The highlight of this section was Mathlete’s 2.0-Bear getting that cinderblock in the right position and up. Duracell represented the RED STICK well.

    THIGHS FROM THE WANK- 3rd quarter. We started with a solid mosey over the to the lawn in by the museum. Upon arrival we see that Thighs has organized with some printed out signs a 15 min beatdown that is going to suck. At each sign there was an exercise- PAX had to complete 20 reps the first time through, 15 reps the 2nd time through. (Possible 3rd time for the fastest pax members). Exercises were:

    1. Bonnie Blaires
    2. Diamond Merks
    3. Reverse Crunches aka Gaspumps
    4. Bobby Hurleys
    5. Merkin Toe Touches (need to incorporate this more in my Qs)
    6. Freddie Mercs

    RUN back to the start line and do this again. Thighs had the teams organized in a way by street names. Due to 75 PAX that didn’t quite workout but Thighs quickly modified and let the teams fall where they were. A good quick call. Thighs demonstrated that there is nothing easy about the WANK. Those guys are tough! Great turnout by the WB.

    STEVE FROM THE NORTHSHORE- FINISHED OFF The PAX back on the great lawn. Each pax got a partner.

    You had to do your partners age in burpees, your partners weight in LBCS, and your partners months in F3 in Freddies.

    Steve had a few minutes left so he finished with some Peter parkers, and some American Hammer.

    After a 75 PAX NAME O RAMA, NUMBERRAMA – Hokey POkey finished us off with an awesome prayer!

    After the whole beatdown we gathered at Cafe Du Monde for a 5 year celebration party. Tclaps to Rudy, Tool and Gabrielle for making that happen. There were eggs, bacon, sausage, grits, biscuits, beignets and plenty of coffee!

    Thanks to our awesome Qs! IT is NOT easy to Q 75 PAX!

    So blessed to be a part of this group- cheers to 5 more years of F3 NOLA!

  • A Tale of Two Beatdowns

    It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, and…. yes, it was certainly the age of foolishness.

    The Pax were presented with two choices this morning, follow the Wacker of Bushes off to the Marsh where 35 lbs. cinderblocks awaited them or, for a potentially less-painful option, follow YHC into the unknown. So the Pax split, the Iron Pax-ers heading off to fulfill the week 3 challenge, and those who had already completed it stayed behind.

    Warmorama: 10x merkins OYO, arm circles, air presses, IWs, SSHs, high knees, all at various reps IC.

    Thang:

    Bear crawl approximately 400 yards to the lakefront gazebo. Caveat: if you need to pause for rest, perform 10x merkins then jog to catch up with the man in the lead. YHC declines to say whether or not this was intended to make the PAX rethink their choice of beatdowns but, impressively, there was relatively little grumbling. That is how difficult the IP challenges are – the minds of the PAX have been recalibrated and this – bear crawling 400 yards – is actually better than the alternative. T-claps to Grundy who (YHC believes) was the only one to make it the full distance without stopping.

    Next, circle up inside the gazebo for a quick round of squats, 20x IC, before assuming an Al Gore hold while each man takes his turn doing 10x Bobby Hurleys. Turbo explained to the young ‘uns who BH was, and that he did indeed slap the floor as a Duke player. Everyone seemed to sink their shots – with Chewy mixing in a few granny-throws – and we wrapped things up in the gazebo with a round of the ever-popular monkey humpers, x22 IC. A short recovery stumble down the path before moseying to the canal bridge for a partner routine.

    Partner 1 heads up the path, over the bridge and down a short distance – to where a young couple was necking in the grass – and then circles back to relieve partner 1, who will begin the cumulative reps of:

    • 50 Burpees
    • 100 Sister Mary’s
    • 150 T-Merkins
    • 200 Squats
    • 150 Freak Nasties
    • 100 Monkey Humpers
    • 50 Burpees

    T-claps to the young couple, who YHC figured would relocate to a more private spot within the first 5 minutes. These two, though, persevered the parade of sweaty men and continued to put on a show for nearly the entire duration of our routine. And this routine took some time – especially the t-merkins, which seemed to bring nearly everyone to their knees. Hey, maybe they’re exhibitionists and this is what they came for?

    Quick Indian run back to the flag and, with minutes to spare, we knocked out some Jane Fonda’s, quick pulses, and heel-to-knees, 10x IC each leg. Having reached the end, we looked around for our Iron Pax brethren, but to no avail. So, back on our six, we knocked out a bit more: flutters, LBCs, and Freddie Merc’s, all 20x IC. A quick look around again but, alas, still no one in sight.

    Time to call it – so we circled for countdown, nameorama, and COT. Shooter prayed us out with intentions for recently slain Captain Vincent Liberto and his family. Liberto, a father of seven, had served the Mandeville police department for over 25 years and was known to be a good man, who served his country and community with pride. His sacrifice comes as a shock, and is a reminder of just how lucky we are to have such great men and women protect and serve our community.

    Soon after, the Iron Pax-ers appeared and we circled up for COT, part deux, this time with Hammer praying us out. Double intentions for Capt. Liberto and his family.

    Then it was off to coffetería, where Tank regaled us with warm stories of Italian family gatherings. A near perfect morning. Thanks for the opportunity to lead and get stronger alongside you men.

  • When Life Gives You Cinderblocks…

    Everyone can finish the saying, “When life gives you lemons…”. But not everyone knows how to complete the saying, “When life gives you cinderblocks….” So let YHC help everyone out; “when life gives you cinderblocks, you use them in your workouts!!!”

    The PAX learned the truth of this saying this morning in a more than intellectual level. And even though this workout was very difficult, I would argue that all the blame should be placed on TurboTax. For he’s the one who lent me his cinderblocks. I take no responsibility, Turbo should have known better.

    So after a disclaimer was given, the fun began.

    Warmup

    Side straddle hop In cadence to 52! I wanted the pax to remember Dredd’s saying when he came down for our GrowRuck, “Be prepared for the expected, but be ready for the unexpected.” Doing side straddle hops to 52 definitely drove that idea home.

    Then we did:

    Windmills in cadence, and a shoulder series warmup in cadence.

    The Thang

    Moseyed to the opening before the bridge where the Grundymobile was parked with the aforementioned cinderblocks. But first we did something called the welsh dragons.

    Welsh Dragons: Remain in plank position the whole time. Bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 1 merkin, 1 plank jack, and tap the BACK of each shoulder 1 time. Repeat adding 1 rep to each exercise each time – bear crawl forward 4 steps, do 2 merkins, 2 plank jacks, 2 sets of back of shoulder taps… etc. We went until We reached 10 reps each and covered 30-50 feet.

    Then the Q realized he had left the keys to his car back at the flag… So the Pax got a 5 minute plank/rest while the Q ran back to grab them. I’m sure everyone held a plank the whole time…

    Upon returning, the grundymobile was opened and the cinderblocks were distributed. It was time for the main event. Everyone partnered up (some teams had 3 people), and we did a Dora 1, 2, 3 with cinderblocks. Round 1 (100 step ups on to the sea wall with the cinderblock) partner 2 ran to the walkway and did 3 burpees and returned to take over the rep count. Round 2 (200 kettlebell swings), and round 3 (300 overhead presses).

    There was much pain involved but kudos to all of the pax for pushing through! We returned the cinderblocks and moseyed/walked back to the flag for some Mary.

    Like the beginning of the workout, be ready for anything. Like Little Manny crunches in cadence to 53!!!

    Circled it up and Manny closed us out wonderfully.

    Great job everyone!

    Until next time, Grundy

  • Running Games? I Thought You Said Fun ‘n’ Games!

    The mumble chatter started the previous night at the successful meet n greet campaign party for our very own Hammer about the fact that if Turbo had the Q for Saturday, then it was either fun n games or, more likely, plenty of running, much to the consternation of more than one PAX both present and away. While, in a sense, fun n games were in fact afoot, today was a run day!

    WARMORAMA

    x20 IC:

    Seal Jacks

    Imperial Walkers

    Toe Touches

    THANG

    Mosied westward down the lakefront for a stretch before we stopped for some merkins. Continued up Marigny and stopped for some Mountain Climbers. Finished up at the Marsh where we partnered up for a little competiton.

    4 4 minute rounds with a running total per team:

    Round 1- P1 SSH while P2 runs to opposite side of the court and performs 2 Burpees

    Round 2- P1Butt Kicks, P2 2 180 degree hops

    Round 3- P1 Lateral Hops, P2 2 Tuck (Squat) Jumps

    Round 4- P1 imaginary Jump Rope, P2 2 Bobby Hurleys

    In between each round was 30 seconds rest, 1 minute of Plank, and 30 more seconds of rest. Teams that scored under 82 total points (all?) dropped for 10 penalty burpees.

    Next, the Pax split evenly and competed head-to-head in a relay race from one end of the court to the other. The Odd numbered team performed another set of 10 penalty burpees. YHC must note that never has he seen such an intense show of drive and performance from every man at the same time as was displyed during this race!

    Same teams did a double-line Indian Run back to the Lakefront, where the PAX planked for the 6, followed by a slow mosy before an all out sprint to the flag.

    COUNTORAMA

    NAMEORAMA

    Naming of FNG Black Cat. Welcome brother, better late than never!

    Phoenix prayed us out.

    T Claps to Turbo Tax for a well put together, high intensity beat down. It’s always a privilege to follow a great leader. Who says running can’t be fun!

  • Boot, Scoot, and Burpee

    It was F3 Northshore’s own ne’er-present Ocho that EH’d YHC exactly a year ago. The High Impact Men of this group routinely post to support each other and lift each other up, day in and day out. Despite the broken leg and ankle, there was no way YHC was going to give up his anniversary Q and miss out on celebrating this gift of F3. So, with QIC donning a Boot and a Knee Scooter, we got started with a long “warm up”:

    12 x Toe Touches

    12 x Arm Circles

    12 x Gas Pumps

    12 x Putins

    12 x Scissors

    12 x Heels to Heaven

    12 x Air Presses

    12 x Oblique V-Ups

    12 x Little Manny Crunches

    12 x Crunchy Frog

    12 x Freddy Mercuries

    12 x Van Gohdas

    12ish Flutter Kicks

    12 x Morrocan Night Clubs

    12 x Lazy Peter Parkers

    12 x Scorpion Kicks

    12 x LBCs

    12 x Cherry Pickers

    12 x Cherry Pickers

    …and 1 Burpee

    Short scoot toward Mississippi and we circled up for some high rep Mucho Chesto:

    18 x Merkins

    18 x Wide Merkins

    18 x Diamond Merkins

    18 x Stagger Left Merkins

    18 x Stagger Right Merkins

    …followed by 12s. Why 12, and not 11 asks Jose 10k. Because that’s how many screws are in the old kicker, Jose.

    We partnered into groups of 3 and completed Freak Nasties on the Lake Wall and Big Boy Sit Ups on the side walk with 2 Partners carrying the third in between. Grundy and Toto were great sports as they quickly learned that they’d be carrying QIC for each run. Thanks guys!

    Circled up for a Mucho Chesto bonus:

    12 x Military Merkins

    12 x Makhtar N’ Merkins (5 count?, 6 count?…who’s counting?)

    12 x Irkins

    12 x Carolina Drydocks

    12 x Dirkins

    Back to the shovel flag for some Mary:

    Hello Dollies

    Jane Fondas (Left)

    Abrinome

    H2H Freddy Mercuries

    Wife Pleasers (grunted out by Sparky)

    Jane Fondas (Right)

    100s

    …and 1 Burpee

    Counterama; Name-orama; Maverick prayed out the group of 21 PAX. Thanks for following my handicapped lead, men. SYITG.

  • The Millennial Beatdown

    Who knew that a workout titled “The Millennial” would actually be difficult? One would assume that given the reputation of Millennials, this would be the workout equivalent of watching Netflix. That being every 5 minutes someone asks “are we still working out”? Instead, we were introduced to a series that put the PAX and YHC into survival mode.

    But before that we warmed up with (All in cadence):
    1. SSH
    2. High Knees
    3. Butt Kicks
    4. Windmills
    5. Shoulder Series

    We then moseyed to Noah’s Ark (what I think we should call the neutral ground near Rips ever since Hammer’s beatdown) for the main event.

    Like I said before, the workout routine was called “The Millennial” and this is what we had to do. The goal is to get to a total count of 2000 as a team (roughly the time period Millennials were born). 1000 reps of exercises and 1000 meters of running. It turned out the loop around Noah’s Ark is around 350 meters versus 100 and so we ended up running around 3,500 meters. But as demonstrated on Saturday, my counting was not up to even 5th grade levels (as was pointed out by Jose).

    The sequence was the full pax does 100 reps each of a called exercise, then runs a lap back to a point where they gather again for the next called exercise. There were 10 cycles, which would get you to your number of 2,000 (Or 4,500 in our case).

    Millennials are always taking credit for other’s people work so why should the workout be any different? The first nine cycles end when the FIRST person gets to 100. The last cycle, is done together because eventually Millennials need to learn that they have to pull their own weight.

    We started each set with 6 burpees (It was 5 upon initial construction but changed last minute which led to a multiplication error).

    The sets were: 1) Carolina Dry Docks; 2) Squats; 3) Russian Twists; 4) Merkins; 5) Lunges; 6) LBCs; 7) Shoulder Taps; 8) Monkey Humpers; 9) 100s; 10) Burpees (Remaining number to get to 100 after burpees from previous rounds)

    We moseyed back to the flag and arrived at 7:30 on the nose. We circled up and Hammer closed us out.

    Thanks for letting me lead gentlemen. You always make me better!!!

    Over and Out,
    Grundy

  • Ragnar or Bust (Selong Delong)

    After multiple reports (including my own) of some of the M’s quickly growing worn out and weary of our battlefield chronicles, YHC decided to keep this CSAUP back blast short, ambiguous, and hopefully entertaining.

    To be certain, the Ragnar weekend was a grand adventure, complete with near death experiences, incredible feats of athletic performance and endurance, more laughs than any group of guys should be blessed to have, new friends and teammates and enough post-race alcohol that the rest is a bit hazy…

    From the time we took off from the Winn Dixie parking lot in Mandeville until the return trip, the nick names were flowing with abundance. Some had multiple names in fact! With that, you’ve seen the PAX list, try to match the nicknames with the Ragnarian. To see if you’re right, be sure to post at your nearest northshore AO. (1 did not get a nickname and several had more than 1. Also, some names have been slightly altered so as not to offend any non F3 readers that may see this on social media):

    -“Male Chicken”-Ring, Teabag, Broke “Richard” Mountain

    -Mr. Awkward, Medium (Shmedium)

    -Shaddow

    -Confusion

    -Wet Wipe, William Wallace

    -Hail to the Chaif, Beef Jerkey

    -Sinatra, Shane

    -McConaughey, Chip n Dale

    -Cocktail, Post Post

    -Story Time


    Thanks for enduring this insider info. Next time take the red pill and be on the inside. The opportunities are everywhere, including anywhere you see an F3 Shovel Flag!

  • No Animal Left Behind

    We began with a brief warmup: Side Straddle Hops x 15/Windmills x10/High Knees x15/Butt Kicks x15/Imperial Walkers x 15 in cadence.  We then finished with 5 Burpees on your own. 

    QIC then had us mosey to begin our commemoration of the biblical account of Noah’s Ark.  We paired up, and while one partner ran the length of the ark (450′) out and back, the other did Mountain Climbers until each team reached a cumulative of 600 (Noah’s age when he built the ark. 

    All teams performed that task with such ease, we added 300 cumulative Merkins on the back end, much to Shooter’s chagrin. (Noah lived for another 300 years after the flood.) 

    With our chests nice and fatigued, we moved on to the animal portion.  Each partner stood 75′ apart from each other (the width of the ark), and took turns doing the following:  Bear Crawls/Crab Walk/Duck Walk/Gecko Walk/Rabbit Hop/Run.  While one partner was performing the task, the other waited by doing squats.  

    As if that were not enough, we then honored the 40 day/40 night flood by doing 40 Frek Nastys/ 40 Lunges/ 40 Monkey Humpers.  (3 sets to honor each of Noah’s 3 sons.) 

    We then moseyed back to the flag for some Mary.  Since there was no dry land for 7 days after the rain stopped, we performed 7 different exercises to finish up:  20 x Crunchy Frogs/Dying Cockroaches/Freddy Mercurys/Putins/Peter Parkers/Parker Peters/Little Manny Crunches. 

    We finished by saying the Pledge of Allegiance before Bubba prayed us out.  We then enjoyed some F2 at the Beach House, as is customary.