F3 New Orleans

Tag: Lil’ Cuz

  • We Did This to Ourselves – from Yankee Joe

    This past Saturday during Goose’s ‘Ha-quartermile-matata’ beatdown, YHC expected football games and shenanigans in five-yard increments. Instead, he experienced a darkness, nay a hopelessness that hadn’t been seen since Paradox’s “Teamwork Gumbo- Add Burpees to Taste” beatdown back in August.

    Cardinal described the experience perfectly, moving through the range of emotions from hope to confusion to darkness to disgust with Goose to owning the pain. During a similar past experience, Enron had simply asked Goose, “Who hurt you?” Wet Tap provided the pivotal insight we all needed by describing Goose’s rebirth and remaking each spring. The explanation stirs images crossing between that scene in Alien and a large bald bird in the process of molting. In fact, molting simply means shedding old feathers, hair, skin, etc. to make room for growth. I suppose in this case, the hair never grew back.

    It is in this mindset that YHC considered Monday’s beatdown. He was very fortunate to have his cousin, Mullet, DR’ing from The Branch AO in Houston, so of course, the pressure was on. With 60 degrees and nine PAX, we delved into some over-active recovery mixed with some festive tunes to celebrate Mardi Gras and the onset of the Lenten season.

    ————————————–
    Waramarama was normal in both exercises and YHC’s odd struggle with remembering the order of cadence. This only opened a huge, massive, enormous door for Paradox and Enron mumblechatter. Like sharks to blood in the water. No mercy.

    We covered a lot of ground, the most important of which included deep wisdom from Homer. No, not that Homer. Homer HIgh School…Alma Mater of our very own Paradox…home of the mighty Pelicans and the recipients of an impressive Google review of 3.4 out of 5.0 on their website. It’s nice Clark. Real niiice. (I’m not even sure he went there, but who cares, right?)

    We finished with throw me somethin’ mistas and after watching Montana’s shimmying, YHC was forced to accept that the beatdown was already off the rails. The rest of the mernin’ would run in similar fashion. Like a middle school boy, who during the first hour of an 8-hour field trip, tried to be funny and rip ass on one of his friends. However, he got far more than he bargained for. There are no bathrooms to be found on a bluebird school bus. There are no bathrooms to be found at Lake Kissimmee State Park visiting the pioneer cabins. So all a fourth grade Joe can do is walk bowlegged and hope for the best. YHC has never been caught without doo doo pills for any trip longer than 30 minutes since.

    ———————————-
    Warm-up song – Mardi Gras Mambo
    – Shoulder taps for duration of the song
    – Merkin on “Mardi Gras” and “mambo”
    – 49 merkins

    Mumblechatter decreased significantly, but the PAX’ confidence was still a bit too high. Based on some observations from this past Saturday, YHC saw things that he couldn’t unsee. What was so repulsive? GABF or Generally Accepted Burpee Form. We needed to get back to basics, so we deconstructed the burpee mechanics. YHC felt something sting on the back of his neck…was it Cardinal staring daggers?

    Thang 1: Breaking The Pax Down
    Deconstructed burpees (55 squats; 55 groiners; 55 merks, 100 yds bearcrawl)

    – 10 squats
    – 10 groiners
    – 10 merkins
    – Bear crawl to next marker
    (Decrease by 1 each rep until 1 each)
    – Finish with 10 burpees

    ———————————–
    The problem according to Goose – as he told YHC this past Saturday – is that “you’re weak.” Maybe even lazy. The only way to fix this affliction is through our good friend, Dora. To be honest, she’s a bit of a hack. Map and Backpack do all the heavy lifting. And now that I think about it, Swiper reminds me of Paradox. Paradox, stop doctoring. Paradox, stop doctoring. YHC asked if there were any questions. Enron responded with something, it was not fully audible. I don’t think it was a shout out.

    Thang 2: Lazy Doras

    Partner up. Partners perform 200 Merkins, 400 squats, & 600 LBCs as a team. Here’s the catch…no running.

    – P1 starts with 20 Merkins while P2 elbow planks, then switch. Continue switching between Merkins and plank until 100 total Merkins reached.

    – P1 does 40 squats, P2 performs Al Gore until P1 is finished, then switch. Continue switching until all 400 squats are completed.

    – P1 does 60 LBCs while P2 does 6″ leg hold, then switch. Continue switching until 600 total LBCs are completed.

    We barely finished the second round of squats. It is probably for the best. Had the Form Police been at the scene one set of PAX would have been hauled off to jail. In retrospect, based on their Juvenile interpretive dancing, Cardinal, Tana, and Lil’ Cuz almost backed their thangs up into purgatory.

    As you can imagine, YHC had to say something. As you can imagine Lil’ Cuz and Cardinal tore YHC to shreds. It got ugly, but not as ugly as watching Tana’s Al Gore pose from the backside.

    On a brighter note, Paradiddle is a straight up beast. He barely broke a sweat during Goose’s PMS beatdown and this morning, hung out in Al Gore, but the hard way with legs splayed wide and toes pointed out. In some circles, this is called the goddess squat and it makes Al Gore feel like a comfy heated toilet seat.

    YHC called time with five minutes remaining and shifted to our close out song.

    Mary Song – Hey Pocky A-Way (The Meters)

    – Hold elbow plank for duration of song
    – Pickle pounder on every “way” or “hey”
    – 66 pickle pounders

    The chatter subsided and the badassery resumed.

    COT and Lil’ Cuz prayed us out.

    Don’t let the snark fool you. We all love and are exceedingly grateful for the molting process.

  • Ha-quartermile-matata – from Goose

    It was a frigid morning as YHC pulled in much earlier than normal due to a lack of 2.0’s and the need to place a marker board by the track without being seen. I didn’t want the PAX to see it before it was time–no need to ruin a beautiful morning sooner than necessary. YHC expected to sit in a warm truck for at least a few minutes before Paradox would inevitably break the solitude with the beginnings of a solid hour of chatter. But, not this morning–Smooth Operator pulled in just a few seconds behind YHC with two young 2.0’s in a blanketed wagon. Jack Be Nimble and Tractor jumped out into the frigid morning ready to rock, showing the same joyful readiness as big Smooth. As more PAX rolled in (including Major Brat!), there was still no sign of Paradox, and YHC began to wonder if he had slipped in an announcement of being out of town at the end of Thursday’s beatdown (brain function tends to leak out with the steam coming off YHC’s head). But, he pulled in with two minutes to spare and Enron right behind him looking like he wanted to fight–Enron was smiling, but road rage was in his eyes as it seemed the usual competitive jostling had started on the way to the beatdown.

    The much needed warmup began with the usuals plus some Willie Mays Hayes for the cold, tight lower backs. Then, we moseyed to the track/field to reveal contents of the board. The Quarter Mile Ladder was the title under which was written a list of exercises. At first, the PAX thought we’d have an enjoyable opportunity to log some miles and some quality time, assuming that we were going to be doing one exercise at a time with a leisurely lap between each. Wouldn’t that be nice. For our wives.

    No, that’s not how a ladder works. We’d start with the first exercise, 5 burpees, followed by a lap (quarter mile), then add the next, so 5 burpees and 10 merkins, followed by a lap. Then, 5 burpees, 10 merkins, and 15 lunges (2:1) followed by a lap, ultimately working our way up to 10 total exercises followed by a tenth lap. Here’s the list:
    5 burpees
    10 merkins
    15 lunges (2:1)
    20 mountain climbers (2:1)
    25 Freddy Mercs
    30 squats
    35 Peter Parkers (1:1)
    40 Big Boy Situps
    45 Side Straddle Hops
    50 Shoulder Taps (1:1)

    When YHC saw Paradiddle pull in (on Bourg time), I knew this one would be right up his alley, so I was happy to sidle up next to him on the first lap and stay in pace for the duration. Running seems as easy as breathing for him, so YHC knew I’d be pushed but also be distracted from the drudgery by some solid conversation. It was clear that many of the PAX had entered a dark place after the first lap or so, so YHC suggested pacing with a partner, which seemed to give a few guys a shot in the arm. But, nothing could’ve boosted the morale more effectively than a spontaneous serenade from Tractor. Smooth had been hauling the two boys around the track in the luxury wagon for about 30 minutes to a constant stream of encouraging/shaming shouts of “Come on, Dad! You can do it! Push harder! COME ON! You’re taking forever! What’s wrong with you?” And, while waiting for super-dad to finish his Peter Parkers, Tractor started belting out “Hakuna Matata” (or something close enough to that), and the cute innocence combined with the irony of hearing a bunch of grown men singing along, “it means no worries…” as they fought for breath and poured their sweat (and blood–Paradox) into the track, deeply dreading the next lap, couldn’t have been more perfectly timed. It was incredible, and it likely kept a number of the guys from spiraling into a deep, dark solitude.
    YHC was initially worried about finishing too early, but instead found that I was yearning for 7:30 to provide sweet relief. It seemed, however, that the ladder was crafted a little too perfectly, and YHC rolled into the last turn with nothing left in the tank and seconds left on the clock. The rest of the PAX came flying in and collapsed, breathless but grateful to have finished what looked at first to be an extremely unattractive exercise routine.

    The brotherhood, as we slow moseyed back to the flag carrying layers of clothing, was deeply felt, wrought by a unique experience of mutual suffering on a cold but beautiful morning. Providentially, this was also the morning Yankee Joe thought to bring the fixings of a solid coffeeteria, so we were gratefully able to remain in it for a while after COT. Even YHC partook of the enslaving brew, raising an insulated cup to this awesome fraternity forged in the fires of pain, humility, gratitude, and accomplishment.

    Announcements included some ideas for an amazing Northshore convergence in April–stay tuned for more details, but we’re definitely gonna clown car up there for it if the date works.

    Thanks, again, for the push and the camaraderie this morning, fellas!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • 90s Kid – from Paradox

    The years 1990 to 2000 saw YHC grow from age 2 to 12. These were the meat and potatoes of my childhood , which places me for better or worse, solidly in the realm of a 90s kid. You would be correct in thinking that going from diapers to scamming knockoff Surge cans on the verge of Y2K is quite a formative leap. Yet just as Yankee Joe describes his LSD years in the 80s, I still find the vibe of the 90s hard to describe. Grunge rock, beany babies , JNCO jeans, TGIF, asking your parents why Bill Clinton always looks nervous on TV…A weird time to be sure. Just a certain feel you get when looking back with those nostalgia glasses on ya know? But is there a better way to distill the essence of a time period than a 45 minute peer led outdoor men’s workout ???

    No says I!

    Roll the footage Duke !!

    7 PAX strolled into the Lions Den unknowingly about to be blindsided by a dump truck of 90s nostalgia.

    WarmUp
    The usuals plus some “throw me something misters “ to help us with his PTSD from Sundays Shaka parade. I know those weren’t “little chocolates” on that necklace Tana but we’ll get through this together. YHC thought the chatter was …dare I say ..absent. Leading to self reflection that I must be the chatter problem . Fortunately I stood corrected shortly after I Added some experimental Tae Baos to prep the pax for the 90s theme and well …let’s check the chatter comment section:

    Goose : Dumbest thing you have ever done
    Enron: please never again
    Cuz: why did he say vhs/dvd ?
    Cardinal : I’m just going to pray Billy Blanks doesn’t see this blast
    YJ : this is a disgrace to the 90s
    Smooth: I’m silently thinking this is less than optimal. Should have Rucked 17 miles instead.

    Ahhh that’s better, now I feel at home

    5 star reviews across the board !

    Long Run Cajun Mosey to Bball court where we discussed the definition of a 90s kid and learned about financial advisor blood feuds.

    We started our 90s tribute with the eras Greatest dance craze mixed with the inventor of the internet.

    “Macarena” by Los del Rios
    Al gore while doing the Macarena.
    Squat on Macarena
    Bobby Hurley 360 jump on Hey Macarena.

    Goose gave us the official dance and Enron has clearly been using those Valentine’s Day dance lessons and was displaying some unusual coordination. lil cuz on the other hand looked like he had a high dose muscle relaxer on an empty stomach but the effort was there.

    Thang 1

    Blockbuster Trivia
    Always be kind and rewind

    Was there anything more 90s than walking into a blockbuster and having the entertainment world at your fingertips. The very foundations of my negotiating skills were laid down when my parents said we get 1 rental …between 4 kids. To honor this forgotten institution and the treasure trove of 90s entertainment YHC mixed some backwards exercises with high risk trivia . Really felt the chatter love crank up here as questions were scrutinized and unruly pax were simply asked to get stronger or leave. We depended heavily on our elder statesmen team of YJ and goose to go 7/10 on trivia . Well done , questions below for the fartsackers.

    If correct sprint/nur full court
    If incorrect bear crawl/crawl bear half court. Followed by exercise.

    1. What year did Forest gump come out? 1994
    20/40 merkins

    2 . What was the highest grossing film of the 90s?
    Titanic
    30/60 Flutter Kicks (2 is 1)

    3. 1997 film with with John malcovich , Nicolas cage, John cusak – Con Air – 10/20 7/14 Airplanes

    4. Which popular 90s child star voiced Simba in the Lion King- Jonathan Taylor Thomas . 40/80 Mountain climbers
    5. How old was Notorious BIG, aka biggie smalls when he was murdered? 24 – 12/24 merkins
    6. Mcauley Caulkin became the first child start to make $1million in this 90s classic ?
    My Girl
    10/20 Carolina dry docks

    7. The tamagotchi angel was one of the highest selling toys of the 90s. Tamagotchi is a japanese combination of what two words?
    Egg and Friend

    10/20 Aussie Sweat Angles

    8. How many champions chips did the bulls win in the 90s?
    10 burpees if correct , 20 if wrong

    9. The USA men’s basketball team known as the dream team won the Olympics in what year ?
    1992

    10. Minimum wage for 7 of the 10 years of the 90s was?
    $4.25
    4 corners 10/ wide, Reg, ranger , diamond Merkin . (20 if wrong )

    The Buddy System

    If anything was drilled into my 90s childhood brain more than quicksand rescue it was the use of the buddy system. From scouting trips to summer camp , the buddy system was the fool proof method to survive life’s harrowing adventures. Well if it ain’t broke, YHC won’t fix it !

    The Buddy System
    Rules :
    Partner Up
    Sprint length of the court together and in flora format complete 90 of exercise (up to you as a team to divide according to your strength) , sprint back and plank up in order and present your buddy alive and well.

    I think this can be a regular occurrence but ran low on time for extra rounds.
    YJ and Goose took first place and continue to rep our north 40 club with grace and advanced cardio.

    The Final Boss

    YHC spent large portions of the 90s conquering Nintendo villains and preparing for life’s final bosses. YHC took a moment to prepare the PAX that we were going to a dark place called 90s one hit wonders. We would need to draw on a deep well of courage to slay this particular one hit wonder dragon. The pax gladiators stood ready …Then YHC opened the gate and JBL unleashed …

    1997’s ultra one hit wonder Hansons “Mmmm Bop
    Burpees on all versions of “bop, dop, pop” , IW on rest.

    Mosey/Sprint back to Aslan(d)
    COT and Goose prayed us out

    In the summer of 1997 I was tasked to complete a summer writing project with the assignment of “ an adventure story”. As you would guess I wasn’t in love with the idea of being pulled away from the OJ trial to do busy work. Buttt against my will I discovered I didn’t mind writing and YHC cranked out the manuscript for “Danger Island “ (killer title right? Well, I was 9 so check yourself)

    It was a classic thrill ride adventure of a boy and his friends in a dark cave battling a mysterious large reptile that picked them off one by one. In the end , it was only defeated by combining their brains and brawn!

    Were agents blowing up the house phone with book deals? Strangely, no.
    Did it look eerily similar to the plot of the 1997 hit Anaconda ? Yes. Yes it did. But let’s focus on what’s important here.

    While reminiscing about my childhood in the 90s and the novella that was Danger Island I could see parallels in life then and now.

    I’ll tell you truth men, most days I’m still standing in that gloom filled cave.

    Knowing the darkness is ever present .

    Knowing that reptile is still prowling and seeking our ruin.

    Knowing it’s Impossible to defeat alone.

    But also knowing the only way out is together, by following our one true source of Light.

    We are tasked to be the Light of the world and F3 helps remind me that we can always shine a little brighter when we know there are others ready to stand beside us in the darkness.

    It was privilege to lead.

    SYITG
    PDox

  • Super Bowl Pair-a-Dice (by Pope) – from Goose

    It’s Super Bowl weekend, and YHC was ready to rock, both at the flag this morning and in front of the TV later.
    After warmups, YHC introduced something he devised called “Down for the Count”, where the PAX did merkins in cadence and held Mission Impossible plank after the final rep, holding while counting around the circle in a Ring of Fire fashion, followed by the same thing with squats (holding Al Gore) and leg lifts (six-inch hold).
    Next we headed to the Thunderdome for what YHC dubs “Paradise & Pair-a-Dice”. YHC hit up JBL, who told us what he would do “If I had $1,000,000” (8-count BB on “If I had $1,000,000” with SSH/Imperial walkers in between) before rocking “Gangsta’s Paradise” (penguins during verses, gas pumps during refrain).
    When playing some role-playing games, dice with varying numbers of sides are often used to determine outcomes. Today was no different; the numbers rolled by the dice provided by YHC would decide between life and death for the PAX. Each PAX rolled three dice—a 4-side, a 20-side, and a 10-side (with numbers ranging from 10 to 100). The 4-side indicated the exercise (1: burpees, 2: 8-count BBs, 3: Catalina wine-mixers, 4: SSH) the 20-side gave us the reps for rolls of 1, 2 and 3, and the 10-side set the amount of SSH in the case of a 4 being rolled.
    The PAX then moseyed to the ED White football field, where we split op into two 6-man (or kid) teams. The following game of F3 football brought out two things—the Dion Sanders in Paradox and the “bigger, stronger, fast-ish” in the rest of the Thibodaux PAX.
    Prior to each down, the offense and defense did a set number of 8-count BBs (offense does 1, defense does 5 on 1st down, 2:3 on 2nd down, 3:2 on 3rd, 5:1 on 4th). The initial plan was for a scoring team to do 10 star jumps versus the defense’s 10 burpees, but 1) YHC forgot to mention it and 2) nobody scored. With interceptions by Yankee, Goats and Enron and a sack by Coyote, it was a defense-dominated game. Hmm… prelude to the Super Bowl? Perhaps.

  • Mellow Monday w/ Montana – from Wiford Montana

    I often try to use the space of F3 as a place to break down my muscles in order to grow them but today, today was a day to do that but something more. This q was to be real, connect, and hopefully show that thru a group of like minded people coupled with the love, strength, and mercy of our Lord Jesus we can become strong in many facets. Not only that but when we struggle with whatever it is we have a network, a common goal, a place to grow. Mellow Monday with Montana was set to begin.
    Warm-o-Rama:
    3 stretches then we churned out a mile on rich man loop.

    The journey of Pro shop Barry:
    Leaving Vandy I was an atheist looking for only self discovery and meaning of life. Was wondering in my “dessert” discovering, I would be willing to bet I have seen more pounds of weed than every pax combined, but I can say this much like all things of the world, they have their short term gains but no matter how much of a short term pleasure they just fall short.

    1st Song: Simmer Down by Bob Marley Thruster on Simmer Down and random “Goblin Squats” through out.

    2nd Song: Exodus (all present were on the true Exodus) by Bob
    Burpees on Exodus and Movement
    68 in total

    Then YHC passed around picture of Pro shop Barry, he was 2 links of boudin away from hitting 3bills
    “Tana killed proshop Barry, he dead now”
    Picture ripped up and we talked about whatever struggle or addiction you can turn to God anytime, and shared I accepted Jesus Sept. 18 2008 centered around 2Cor. 3:3

    3rd Song: Break every Chain- Jesus Culture
    BBS or V-up on power
    Merkin on Break every chain
    Coupon swing and man makers sprinkled in

    Closed out with a quick mile ish and then COT and Dilly prayed us out

    Appreciate each one of you and great work Pax

  • Burpeepalooza 2023 (vol. 3) – from Goose

    When Enron asked YHC to switch with him and Q this morning, I asked myself the question, “Is it time for another Burpeepalooza?” and I answered myself the answer, “Why, yes. Yes it is.” Preparation required one hype GIF for the GroupMe and an hour or so of research for songs with repetitive lyrics and good burpee timing. Burpeepalooza 2023 was ready for launch, and YHC was so fired up, I woke before my alarm.

    Oh, and in case I should fail to mention it, new ground was broken last night as YHC reached across a deep, long-standing rift for the sake of a quality beatdown:
    Oontz had been showing some serious inconsistency with volume as of late, and since it would be of absolute necessity for all PAX to hear the trigger words for this beatdown regardless of loud traffic on the highway, there was no doubt about it–it was time to bring in the big guns. YHC knew down deep that BAPS (Big Ass Party Speaker, for the newer guys) was the only one who could handle this kind of weight, so late in the evening, YHC dialed up Yankee Joe. After some initial disbelief and suspicion of being punked (like that one time with JBL), YHC proved himself sincere, and YJ heartily agreed to let BAPS shine. We both shed some healthy tears afterward and slept a little more soundly.

    The warmup this morning had to be seriously substantial. After Lil’ Cuz’s Saturday butt-whoopin’, the soreness was deep and every single muscle was tight. So, given the range of motion burpees require, flexibility would be of the utmost to save the PAX’s joints for the rest of this week’s beatdowns.
    Warm-o-rama: seal jacks, windmills, imperial walkers (so sore), grass grabbers (the “three taps backward with the clap” variety), arm circles, cherry pickers, YJ-led wrist rotations (the non-yoga-demon variety), self-love, tempo merkins (3-count down and 3-count up), mountain climbers, high knees, and butt kicks. Had to cover all the bases, especially for us old guys!

    YHC then introduced the concept of the Burpeepalooza–Enron and Paradox (and the absent Fence Post) were the only ones who had done it before. It’s an entire beatdown of non-stop songs, each having a trigger word or phrase upon which a burpee is executed. Rest between (ha!).

    Here’s the list, played on shuffle so God decides if two or three (or four) hard songs get played in a row:
    “Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers–burpees on “gone” and “away”
    “For God is With Us” by For King and Country–burpee on “God is with us”
    “Coconut” by Harry Nilsson–“coconut”
    “Happy” by Pharrell Williams–“Happy” (continuous burpees when they say it really fast)
    “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel–“your eyes” (backup singers count…they’re real people, too)
    “That’s the Way (I Like It)” by KC & the Sunshine Band–“I like it” (Dang.)
    “Come and Get Your Love” by Redbone–“come and get your love”
    “Have a Little Faith in Me” by John Hiatt–“have a little faith”
    “Got My Mind Set On You” by George Harrison–“set on you” (Ran out of time for this one, probably because of the ridiculously long warmup)

    This crew was impressive–the mumblechatter continued to be witty and there were no visible signs of discouragement. Muscles were zapped, oxygen was in low supply in the mugginess, and there were some unfulfilled promises of merlot splashing (puking), but spirits remained high as the burpee count continued to quietly climb.
    All said and done, if all triggers resulted in burpees, the count was 245, a record for Thibodaux Burpeepaloozas! And even if some were skipped, most if not all of the PAX did over 200 burpees in 45 minutes! This would have sounded like an impossible feat if this number was shared at 5:29am, but because we were suffering together, distracted by listening for the triggers, and not counting to see how many we had done and how many more we felt like we could rationally do, our bodies outshone even our highest expectations. T-claps especially to the guys who had never done this before and were blindsided this morning!
    COT followed, and we discussed the mistake of trying to measure how much you have left in the tank, both during exercise and throughout our day with family, etc. We can always do more if we live for the person/people around us rather than constantly trying to measure “how much more of this I can take.”
    Q assignments for the rest of the week were finalized, prayer intentions were shared, and YJ prayed us out. It was an honor to get through that with you fellas this morning!

    SYITG (See You in the Gloom),
    Goose

  • Mario Kart 4 Lyfe – from Paradox

    The year is 1999..
    In your best friends basement you pull the marioKart64 cartridge , give it two puffs inward and reinsert . Rainbow road flashes on the screen and your pulse quickens. Just the perfect amount of sweat on your palms to reduce the D-pad Friction on your thumb. Two hot pockets in the microwave upstairs and you got a Surge in the fridge for just such an occasion.
    Life is good…

    The year is 2008.
    Despite a college physics final in 8 hours that could derail your future career you are locked in a heated Nintendo Wii Mario Kart tournament. A pack of keystone lights awaits the victor.
    Life is good …

    The year is 2023. Your stand in a circle of High Impact Men on a crisp bayou morning and you have the privilege to lead. A pristine life size Mario Kart track awaits 4 Pax.

    Seasons change , presidents come and go but Mario Kart …Mario Kart is forever.

    Warmup
    SSH, IW, WM, GG with the Clap
    AC, cherry picks , MC (I can feel a schism on its way that involves Cardinal removing these from the warmup )

    Bumper mosey

    Anker Tribute

    Day-O by Harry Belafonte
    Sqats – 3 levels on “day “
    Alternate between upper, middle and lower squat hold
    A deeeeep burn sets in on about the 14th day and there are many many more

    The Thang a Lang (it’s funny cus it sounds like dang a lang, ok ok I’ll show myself out )

    *****MARIO KART *****

    5 stations setup on corners of the Track
    3 banana peels and a mystery cube at each
    Flip the cone -pick one , complete exercise , advance with sprint in between.
    Gather 1 coin per Lap
    Most coins per round wins

    LIGHTNING: 7 burpees for all pax except the one ego pulled the card , they advance 2

    Rainbow road -mosey to bumper

    GREEN SHELLS
    Each pax has 1 each with various reps , in round 1 can give out to any pax as they pass.

    Round 1
    10 minutes
    Every one on their own.
    Do what you must to win.

    Goose and Cuz tied for round 1 with 2 coins each after hitting a flurry of Lightning streaks.

    Round 2
    10 minutes
    Pax as a team , try to beat collective goal from round 1 of coins
    Use green shells to help a burdened teammate this round

    We equaled our goal here with significantly more hardships in the rainbow road and thruster departments. Great effort and YHC could feel the concerted efforts to break our goal.

    Peels were as follows :
    Cone 1
    20 merkins
    25 squats
    20 monkey humpers
    ? Card: bearcrawl to 2

    Cone 2
    20 big boys
    20 leg raises
    20 crunchy frogs
    ?card : Lightning

    Cone 3
    20 coupon OHP
    ?card: Rainbow road
    20 thrusters
    20 Coupon swings

    Cone 4
    15 ranger merkins
    50 MC (2 is 1)
    10 burpees
    ?card: lightning

    Cone 5
    10 shoulder tap merkins
    10 jump squats
    ?card : bearcrawl back to 4

    Notes:
    – Back to back to back Lightning in round one equaled about 50 burpee’s sandwiched between moseys #yikes
    – The transferred vengeance of round 1 was palpable when Darth Cardinal handed me 8 body builders and immediately gave Cuz 10 more squats. He blamed Goose and as planned we saw the ugly side of competing only for one’s self: Blame, guilt, wrath , envy .Ya hate to see it.
    – On the flip side in round 2 we saw the fruits of our efforts being for others . The joy on cuzs face as 10 thrusters were taken off his shoulders. Knowing he would advance to help another . Goose even mumbled an apology for hitting another lighting in YHCs face (talk about progress! )

    Wrapped with Mary – 1 round of crunchy frogs

    COT and Cuz prayed us out

    Had a blast this am fellas.
    A physical reminder for YHC too lean fully on Gods limitless strength as we help those in need.

    SYITG
    PDox

    Epilogue

    …The year is 2062,
    Your grandkids just got off the hovercraft school bus excited to tell you they have a retro virtual reality game called “ Mario Kart”.
    They ask if you wanna play and promise to take it easy on you.
    You longingly stare out the window as the pulse quickens.

    You call down to the F3 nursing home to tell the staff you won’t be there for your evening rounds.

    You tell the nurse “Jeaux needs his doo doo pills by 5pm, and if Ronnie gets on a heater he has a separate checking account. Mix Tanas meds with an abita or he won’t take them. Make sure Goose gets to explain paradox to his family visitors or he’ll get cranky . Stop by Cardinals room and drop off the new whoop version 74.0 and tell Cuz they put “prayers “ instead of “good luck “ on the school marquee so he’ll sleep better. “

    “Tell them all I got a lesson to teach the 3.0s”

    YHC grabs the VR headset, cracks his neck and takes a sip of a chilled Surge.

    They never knew what hit em

  • “Yote Time”: written by Coyote – from Goose

    Once we got there, the first thing YHC saw was the dreaded Montana Bun as it was swaying in the chill wind, with its little curl. I couldn’t take my eyes off until Paradox said, “What’s up Yote!” YHC replied, “Where’s the other doc?” and then started the warmups. We did the normal stuff such as Side-straddle-hops and Windmills and Imperial Walkers, but YHC did something special, some “Throw me something misters”, now, everybody liked that, but after a while we started an Indian run with the back person doing five bonnie blaires (2is1) and running to the front of the line all the way to the field. Then we started the fun stuff, we picked partners and YHC told a little story about a guy who was chased by a buffalo, so we set up cones and partner 1 sprinted to the first cone and got passed right when partner 2 sprinted after him as he started to bunny hop to the third cone. Red fish was YHC’s partner, so it was hard to catch him, but YHC got him down, and he had to do five burpees. Then we switched, and YHC got away with it, and Redfish had to do five buffalo kicks. Everybody did it again, and we all moseyed to the chimney and YHC told a story about a guy who purposely got bitten by an alligator snapping turtle, and we set up more cones in a zig-zag pattern, and we bear crawled to each cone. As Goose trampled the pax, we got to the cones and did shoulder taps and then karaoke ran to the cones and did burpees. Redfish and YHC were neck and neck for who would get there first, until he tripped on his own foot, and YHC got there first. After a while, we moseyed to the Thunderdome and did two rings of fire, one with LBC’s and elbow plank jacks to 75. And then we did this song that was a Gaelic song that was turned into a techno song, we did calf jumps to the beat during the refrain and squats during the verses. For four long minuets we jumped and squatted until the song ended and we flopped onto the ground, worn out to the bone. We moseyed to the tennis court and played tennis with a volleyball. While doing exercises, we hit the ball back and forth, every time a person would hit it, that person had to do a burpee, and every time a team got a point, the other team did 5 merkins. We moseyed back to the flag and did the alphabet, and after all 16 people did nameoff, counting 2 FNG’s, YHC went off to the side, and did cooldown exercises. Paradox and Enron didn’t want to leave me hanging, so they came over and did them with YHC, now we have this group called “Cooldowns with Yote”.

  • Concrete Schoolyard – from Paradox

    What are the greatest rivalries of all time?
    Some come to mind.

    Yankees vs Bo Sox?
    Rocky vs Apollo Creed?
    JBL vs Anker (RIP!)?
    Gandalf vs Saruman?
    Lil Cuz’s Neck vs Gravity?
    Yankee Joe vs Father Time?

    All great.

    But Regardless of the pairing, one thing is always present in a great rivalry.
    High level Competition creates high level performance.

    I could explain …but …really …
    Well, I’d rather just show you.

    10 PAX arrived in a flurry to the concrete schoolyard to test our limits in the spirit of competition. Gorgeous beatdown weather. high 50s. Light breeze.

    WarmUp

    Usuals plus Bumper\Stop mosey.
    Touch the sign or it don’t count.

    Wilfred “place at the table” Montana “ coming in hot to break up mid mosey SLT meeting with YHC and Goose. Ya hate to see that kinda attention seeking behavior early in a Q. but you must persevere.

    Thang 1 – Anker tribute

    Not a day goes by that I don’t think about our Anker being in Bluetooth heaven. Sitting there amongst the clouds listening to sea shanties with no more pain.
    One small portion of his greatness was bringing the best from JBL and teaching him the way of audio torture for the PAX.
    Today we honor him with one of the greatest lyrical battles of the modern age.

    *NSYNC vs Backstreet Boys

    Backstreet Boys “Everybody”

    So we start with 10 burpees to work off with 1 deleted per sic dance move

    Apolo Onos to start during the dance window , flow into IWs

    Burpees on every “Body”

    Like any 8th grade dance the pax were hesitant to start but Goose broke the ice with his patented …Irish jig , it’s something
    Baggins felt the spirit and went for groceries.
    YJ came in hot after provocations with some funk fresh and Goats rounded out with the classic preparation H. Im missing one but im sure it was memorable.
    These brave men bought us 5 burpees.

    Track mosey and oh boy you know what’s next …

    Bye bye bye by Nsync
    Plank on song
    MC on Bye

    Lots of long plank holds so Goose could tell us Justin Timberlakes Dating history.

    The Thang

    Concrete Schoolyard

    Rules

    -Split PAX into 1s and 2s
    -Everyone gets one piece of chalk
    -the object of the game is to put points in the opposing teams “goal “ which is a chalk circle on the concrete
    ⁃ you can only do this by completing the base exercise then sprinting to the goal. This results in 1 point.
    ⁃ Scattered in the field of battle are “extra points “ you could add to your base score (see below)
    ⁃ A round will be timed, when time is called we tally points

    Coupons 10 OHP- 2 points
    10 Med Ball Slam- 2 points
    60 jump rope – 2 points
    Kettle Bell swing -2 points
    Ole Hickory – 5 points

    Winner savors 5 SSH
    Loser eats 5 burpees

    Round 1
    5 minutes on the clock
    10 merkins at base

    Round 2
    5 minutes
    10 Bonnie Blair’s at base

    Lightning Round 3
    2 minutes on clock
    5 Burpees at base

    Team 1
    Tana, Cardinal , YJ , lil cuz , Smooth operator

    Team 2
    Baggins, Superfund, Goose, goats , YHC

    Alot to unpack here and I’m sure validity of points and timing will be debated for decades to come but at one point in the middle of the beautiful madness YHC stopped mid Merkin to soak it all in …

    I saw a Goose sliding to secure ole hickory, shouldering his burden as our most fit pax by selflessly accepting thrusters….I saw Tana looking for every workable angle to gather intel for his crew. I saw smooth operator grab a cinder and wonder what the hell he got himself into….I saw a priest use his body as a shield against an enemy …I saw a master hobbit dashing there and back again from Bonnie Blair’s to ole hickory like he was back in the Shire….I saw Cuz and SuperFund lead with quiet strength. I saw men who forgot they came to exercise and elevated their limits for others.

    Every pax alive in the haze of battle
    Ignited with the fuel of competition.

    I saw a beautiful thing and I for one am grateful to be a part of it.

    Already working on Volume 2.

    COT and Superfund prayed us out
    Praying for Enrons family and
    Baby Little Itch

    SYITG
    PDox

  • JERICHO – from Paradox

    8 pax on a crisp cool morning at the Stage. With a large group of our pax starting the Exodus 90 journey today YHC thought it pertinent to reinforce a few principles of “breaking down walls”. During a recent bedtime story session, my 2.0s selected the walls of Jericho story (Joshua 6) and in usual fashion the follow up questions had my brain in a pretzel. My son asked what if the soldiers didn’t want to walk around Jericho and they just ran home ? My daughter following with “were there pets in there? What about stuffed animals?”

    Like whoaaa, Did someone spike the Mac and cheese tonight? This led to a re-reading of the scripture, some deep northshore research to find an ole Grundy Q and 4 hours of calculating exactly what year Yankee Jeaux was born. Let’s dive in.

    Warmup
    Abbreviated Standard with a bumper mosey and …I mean Tana those cherry pickers are Something.

    A quick intro that one of the important steps of any rigorous spiritual exercise is relying on others. Recognition that others have strengths and some God given gifts …like sound volume and base. While others have clarity and portability. You know where I’m heading. YHC unveiled that this beatdown was brought to you by ….BAPS. Day by day we heal the scars of the great Bluetooth schism that ultimately took Ankers life. Gone but not forgotten.

    Anker Tribute
    At the start of our exodus journey you are asked to consider your “WHY ?”
    Well traditionally any deep philosophical question in our pax goes through Cardinal and Goose but today we settled for the next best thing ….the resident theologian Lil Jon asked us all “what will you turn down for”
    burpees on “turn down “
    SSH on rest
    **that Wiley old fox Enron smelled this one from a mile away , we’ll come back to strange smells later. Stay with me

    It’s a Stepwise process
    Next we discussed that any major exercise like this would require singular focus on what’s directly ahead of you . Which led to an even deeper question….What was Yankee Joe doing in 1990?? he was almost certainly watching MTV and memorizing Donnie walbergs moves to this classic…

    Step by step – new kids
    One rep at a time , one day at a time
    Step ups on “step”
    , incline mountain climbers on song

    So you are relying on your brothers , you know your “why “and you are taking it step by step but there’s still no Conquering the fear of what’s inside the walls without full trust in God

    Walls of Jericho Thang
    7 exercise
    7 Reps
    7 round
    Track mosey in between

    Depth charges
    Leg raises
    Hurpees
    Ranger merkins
    BBSU
    Carolina dry docks
    Box jumps

    We completed 4 rounds with some solid push.

    Mary to wrap up but wait

    I’ll pause here to note that 5 penalty burpees were given when the gaseous form of pure evil was expelled from the innards of Yankee Joe. YHC was downwind and had his mouth open and and the only way to cleanse one’s palate was 5 burps. Praying for your colon Jeaux.

    Count and name
    FNG naming. With some deliberation and quite a few verbal counter strikes we landed on “Baggins” . This man weathered the chatter, the walls of Jericho and stood strong in a hurricane of potential names. Well done. That quick wit will serve you well amongst these heathens.

    COT and Kilo prayed us out

    Grateful to lead and to continue this journey with y’all.

    SYITG
    PDOX