Tag: Kenna Brah

  • The Muthaship is Back! – from Fracsac

    YHC took the Q at the Mothership with the intent to work off the last 48 hours of eating.
    With a brief disclaimer given, 11 pax headed to the great lawn to warm up. Rudy, Catfish, Fresh Prince, Channel Mullet, Mahatma, Hokie, BayWatch, Hawgcycle, SOGO, Kennah Brah and YHC circled up for the Warmup. There was much Mumblechatter over the cones.

    SSH IC x 15 (only 15???)
    IW, GG, AV, then onto some Bat Wings consisting of 15 regular stuff and finished off with Moroccan Night Clubs x 31. Just for the fun of it, YHC threw some chinook squats in there. They were a big hit!

    Mosey to the peristyle….but what about the cones? YHC heard one pax say maybe they aren’t his???

    At the peristyle, grab a column for Jack Ass Webbs. That’s one burpee to two donkey kicks OYO. Finish when completed 5 burpees and 10 donkey kicks. #crowd pleaser.

    Mosey back to the great lawn. Cones? Nope.
    Circle up to see why only 15 SSH.

    The Motivator! Deconstructed SSH from 10 to 1.

    Cones? Nope. Mosey to Popp’s Bandstand and grab a column. Jack Webbs with 1 merkin and 2 air presses in the people’s chair. Complete IC up to 10 and 20.

    Mosey back to great lawn. Cones? Nope. Blimps at the corners. Burpees OYO with all others IC.

    Return to the middle of the great lawn, all pax plank and wait for YHC to come back with…..a football. Yes, now the cones!

    Count off, 5 per side with 1 floater, which was YHC. Rules were same as ultimate frisbee. YHC forgot his team a couple times, it was a total mess. Mid way through, change rules to something else. YHC could document the rules here, but what good would that do? I’m pretty sure it was a tie when the game ended. The pax got a good workout, and had fun. Mission complete!

    COT

    NMM

    -9 attended Coffeteria where we discovered Kennah Brah’s favorite waitress had been let go. Apparently her sarcasm wasn’t appreciated outside the F3 community.
    -Welcome back SOGO and Channel Mullet!
    -next time there will be extra balls brought to allow for the Fast Tax rules, with slight modifications throughout.
    -Sphinxster welcoming the pax back to the farm Saturday 04 December!
    -Christmas party planned by Almonaster 18 December!
    Sunny side 2.0 workout at the peristyle Sunday 0700!

    The muthaship is back, Baby!

    SYITG

  • F3 Justice – from Kuch

    F3 Regional Court – View District

    In the View District Court of F3 New Orleans

    ————————————————————–
    F3 Nola,
    Petitioner,
    v.
    Jeffrey “Kuch” Green
    Respondent
    ———————————————————-

    Kenner (America’s City), USA

    Friday, Oct. 29th, 2021

    APPEARANCES:

    The Honorable Boudreaux T. Hawgcycle, III, Pontiff, F3 NOLA; on behalf of the Petitioner.
    Fracsac, The View, F3 NOLA; on behalf of the Petitioner.
    Jefferey “Kuch” Green; LVCCC, F3 NOLA; the Respondent.
    Mambi, Hokie, Mahatma, Bear, Kennah Bruh, War Eagle, Bolt, Triple Shift as witnesses

    DISCLAIMER AND WARM-UP
    (5:30 AM)

    PROCEEDINGS
    (5:35 AM)

    Judge Hawgcycle: We will hear the argument in case 21-003, F3 NOLA vs. Jeffery “Kuch” Green. Mr. Kuch, allegations have been brought forth that you are a slick talking, yoga posing, Bernie Sanders loving, no good, Yankee lawyer. These are serious allegations and will be discussed at length throughout this morning’s trial. In keeping with a tradition of the court we will open this session with 15 burpees on your own. Proceed.
    The courtroom does 15 burpees. Bailiff Fracsac ensures that burpees end with a clap, adhering to courtroom regulations.

    Judge Hawgcycle: I submit the first allegation against Mr. Kuch. It has been discovered that in early 2018, Mr. Kuch visited a Yankee website to look up exercise names. After visiting said website, he proceeded to name running up a levee backwards “The Bernie Sanders.” The court contends that Mr. Kuch had no authority in naming this exercise. Let the records show that as early as 2016 this exercise, commonly performed at the City Park District AO Okwata, had been referred to by the name “Quadraphilia,” by the good men of F3 NOLA. If it pleases the court (and it does) everyone will now participate in a round of Quadraphilia. By definition this exercise will last 4 minutes.

    The Court did a round of Quadraphilia

    Judge Hawgcycle: I submit the second allegation against Mr. Kuch. It appears Mr. Kuch has started a non-F3 workout with only F3 participants. This is the bi-weekly Broga workout occurring in the City Partk District of F3 NOLA. This is an unsanctioned workout, but because of the F3 only participation, it has caused a great deal of confusion in the greater community. Article I of the Core Principles is clearly broken. The workout is not free. Adherence to Article IV of the Core Principals is questionable at best. The workout is led by the same gentleman each time, Mark “Pretzel” Berger. Mr. Pretzel is an acquaintance of the Court and his F3ness is clearly in question. Now if it pleases the court (and it clearly does) I will lead the court in a round of F3 NOLA Style Yoga to provide an example of how one should properly pay for a beatdown….through pain.

    The Court did the following exercises:
    • Downward Dog Merkins x 20
    • Warrior I Bonnie Blairs x 5

    At this time the court yields the floor to the Respondent:

    MAY IT PLEASE THE COURT:

    Kuch: the charges against me are serious, and I apologize to this Honorable Court and the Metry contingent on hand for the following:

    • Any time one of your wives saw me in one of my super hot tank tops and accidentally called you Kuch during intimate conversations during the following week.
    • For all of those times you got home and didn’t have to throw your $100 pair of tennis shoes in the dryer or place them on the outside A/C unit.
    • For using the exicon in an attempt to bring more variety to workouts and to make them more interesting.
    • For giving you an opportunity to gain mobility and prevent injuries.
    • For giving you a safe place to wear your yoga pants.

    In my defense, I come before the Court with exercises I believe will please Sheriff Frac Sac.
    The thang: 9 minute ascending EMOM burpee pyramid starting at 6 burpees and going through 14. On the dark side of the levee with visibility low, appropriate tunes were selected: Metallica’s “One” on repeat throughout the 9 minutes. Mumblechatter ensued. T-claps to the 4 people who got every single burpee. It was dark, but I recall Triple Shift, Sheriff Frac, The Hon. Hawgcycle, and one more (maybe Mahatma?)

    I reserve the remainder of my time for rebuttal:

    THE MORE SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS

    Judge Hawgcycle: It is the understanding of this court that Mr. Kuch has manipulated dozens of men in the greater New Orleans area using aggressive, psychological techniques. Through his manipulation he has convinced them to leave their comfortable, yet joyless lives, and follow him in the Gloom of F3 NOLA. Mr. Kuch’s aggressive behavior does not stop there. He constantly terrorizes men, texting them each evening to pressure them into posting in the Gloom. He is known to arrive in their driveway, yanking them from the comforts of their home and taking them to that morning’s workout. There have been allegations that he has an organized a car pool ring, known only as the LVCC, that terrorizes the Lakeview Community every weekday morning. The court does not take these allegations lightly. If it pleases the court (and it obviously does) we will now participate in an exercise to prove how psychotic this man is. May I have a volunteer?

    Kennah-Bruh raised his hand

    6 cones(representing the men of this world) were set out about 10 yards apart along the bike path. Kennah-Bruh played the role of Kuch and it was his job to make sure each cone was standing. All other members of the court represented the Cares of the World and their job was to knock the cones down. After knocking a cone over, you run to the top of the levee, then you can come back and knock cones over again.

    We did this for about 4 minutes. Kennah-Bruh worked valiantly to keep the cones upright, but he was unable to do so. At this point Kennah-Bruh petitioned the court for assistance.

    Mambi joined Kennah-Bruh and over the next 3 minutes they worked together to keep the cones upright. They had better results, but many cones continued to be knocked down.

    Triple Shift petitioned the court to join Mambi and Kennah-Bruh. With three men monitoring 6 cones it was more difficult for the Cares of the World to knock cones down. It became clear by then end of the exercise that anything greater than a one-to-one ratio of Kuchs to cones would be optimal. The court rests upon the argument that this is the goal of Kuch, to create an army of men in Lakeview that are constantly protecting the well-being of others.

    IN MY FURTHER DEFENSE:

    I throw myself at the mercy of this Court and acknowledge the seriousness of the transgressions, especially the yoga. Who could have known when this all started that only months later, F3 men would be showing up to workouts in yoga pants and their newest Lululemon attire. I take no joy in the yoga-fying of f3 New Orleans, and again in my defense, I think most of the uptown guys already had a considerable amount of Lululemon athleticasual wear for all seasons. I suggest it could have been worse – I’ve never made a man wear Notre Dame shoes. I don’t get people’s feet wet when I Q. There is a lot respect for shoes in the LVCC. I’ve never asked a man to take a 12-hour stroll with a 30-pound backpack or run 100 miles through the damn woods. But still, in light of the charges against me, with my last act as champion of this AO, soon to deposed, I set my sights on one final goal.

    Now, some may say this goal is completely out of reach, like teaching the blind to see or the deaf to hear. I prefer to think of it as a “lifetime project,” something that we know will take many many eons to attain, but remains attainable, in theory at least, nonetheless. That goal: Bring a modicum of frisbee competency to Metry.

    The thang: Gather in a circle, 2 in the middle, guys in the circle pass the frisbee around, and everytime it hits the ground, 5 merks for everyone in the circle and 2 new people in the middle. There. Were. Many. Merkins. I lost count quickly. However, as time went on, we were able to string together some rallies, so I feel like we took an important step. We will see next time we all step on the field.

    In all seriousness, briefly: Thanks for having me fellas. Thanks for a truly unique and creative beatdown, Hawg. Thanks for the encouragement, and thanks for bearing with me for the stuff that did not work as well. Frisindian run…. Enjoyed spending some time with my Metry brothers. I will be back. Congrats to Hawg, truly a HIM.

    VERDICT:

    Court was adjourned around the flag of the United States of America. After instructions from the lead juror, Mr. Mambi, the jury quickly returned a unanimous guilty verdict on all counts. It is hereby proclaimed by this court that Mr. Kuch has been found guilty of being a slick talking, yoga posing, Bernie Sanders loving, Clown Car driving, Emotional Headlocking, Accountability Providing, Encouraging, High Impact Man and is hearby relieved of his duties as the Champion Q of F3 New Orleans and is sentenced to 6 months of Community Service in the Pontiff District teaching the most uncoordinated men in the F3 NOLA region the fundamentals of Frisbee.

  • F3 NOLA Convergence 2021 (a.k.a.”Crew Change”) – Mothership 2021-10-16 – from Reluctant Yankee

    A fine morning, with a change in the weather providing a fitting backdrop for the changing of the guard on the F3 New Orleans Leadership Team.

    Kicked off at the flag zone with naming of the F3 NOLA Rookie of the Year and F3 NOLA Man of the Year. These went to Almonaster and Hokie Pokie, respectively. High praise and congratulations to both of these high-impact men for their efforts during the past year!

    Yankee then kicked things off on the Great Lawn with:
    Side Straddles Hops x27
    Hillbillies (in honor of Hawg’s prom) x 20
    OYO burpees x10
    Side Lunges x20
    Low Country Crabs x20
    Dying Cockroaches x20

    Moseyed to the track where Hawgcycle took over. Hawg brought the hurt with a modified Dirty Mac Deuce featuring:

    Larry Craigs x12
    Sumo Squats x12
    LBC x12

    Pax then partnered up. One pax sprinted 200 m around the tracks while the other moseyed across, then vice versa. Pax reassembled for announcement of the new SLT.

    It was time. Time to give a speech that would last generations, a speech commemorating the past 7 years, and one that would empower the incoming SLT for what was yet to come. Reluctant Yankee reached deep within his well of indisputable high octane expressions, and it was there and then he passed the torch of F3 Nola to Fracsac and Catfish, his great words of wisdom spreading across the field of F3 Nola men, leaders of this Fitness Fellowship and Faith thing we simply refer to as F3. Did anybody write down what he said?

    Fracsac circled the pax up on the field and did 5 SSH IC, followed by 10 burpees OYO. Many thought Shock and Awe was in the works, but nay, just an attention grabber. Next up was the mental challenge.

    6 SSH IC followed by 11 more in silence, all must end with the Q or a penalty would be handed out. The Pax passed with flying colors….but did they?

    4 corners on the track with 10 x 8 count body builders on 2 corners and 10 x burpees on the other 2. Circle back up for mental challenge again.

    This time there was a failure, with 10 x 8 count body builders as the penalty. The pax completed it the next go flawlessly.

    Pax had had enough mental abuse at this point, so there was much rejoicing when the workout was handed to Catfish. Catfish gently led things forward with:

    8-Counts x10
    Low Slow 8-Count Squats x20
    Bonnie Blairs x15
    Mosey back to the Great Lawn, with a quick stop at the baseball field behind Tad Gormley to do some Jack Webbs (up to 13, 11 got skipped). Continued the mosey back to the Great Lawn.

    At the Great Lawn, LBTs waiting x15 for the six. Frac then came back for a rousing round of Catalina Wine mixers (x15) for the finish.

    Back to flag for COT.

    Announcements: Roast on the Coast Starting Nov 5; GoRuck Tough NOLA the following weekend on NOV 12; Almonaster Qing a Christmas charity effort related to Operation Sweet Tooth (details to come)

    Delicious coffee and breakfast followed. Thanks to all who assisted with preparation for this.

    Thanks to all who attended and assisted with today’s convergence, and stay tuned for further announcements from the new leadership team!

  • 4 Good men making a better world – from Kenna Brah

    Warm up
    Light Jog, Butt Kicker, High Knees
    Hillbillies 30x
    Toy Soldier 30x
    Arm Circles 30x each move
    Rnd 1
    3 Rnds – 1 Min each ( 15 min )
    1. 4 Cones Jog around
    2. SSH
    3. Left/Right Over Cones
    4. Straight Sit up – Arms out
    Rnd 2- Pavilion – 1 Min each exercise 3 Rnds
    Decline Merkins
    Single Leg Squats
    Ring Rows
    Side Leaning Pulls
    Xtra
    10 – Kneeling Getups
    On Knees Feet brace – lean forward
    Walk Back
    Balance work and squats on curb

    Announcement/Intentions/Prayer

  • Frac’n Awesome – from Fracsac

    YHC arrived at the AO a little early to take part in the planned pre beat down prayer that was set up and supposedly hosted by one of our resident preachers. Being it was YHC and Kennah Brah that posted, Kennah Brah donned his preachers hat and led an outstanding prayer to inspire YHC into taking the Q. With the shovel flag planted, a brief disclaimer was given, then we got to it.

    Short lap around the parking lot.
    IW IC x 15
    GG IC x 10
    AV IC x 10
    HB IC x 15
    Bat Wings ending with MNC and dancing!

    The Thang

    The Motivator! Deconstructed SSH starting at 10 down to 1.

    11s with Burpees and Big Boi sit-ups in the parking lot. Mode of transportation was running.

    Mosey to base of pier for Dora:

    100 hand release Merkins
    200 LBC
    300 squats

    One pax does the exercise and the other runs around palm tree circle and back.

    We had 2 planes pass overhead, so more burpees!

    COT

    All 5 core principles adhered to by 2 HIMs!

    SYITG

  • Go West–ward Ho, Young Man – from Bolt

    Among a sea of bucket trucks 5 F3 pax welcomed FNG, Flav-A-flav, in true NOLA style with representation from Uptown, Lakeview, KennA, and the Ridge

    Warmup IC: SSH (32), Abe SLOWgodas, arm circles forward/back, tclaps, overhead claps, self love (all 20x); Toy soldiers, (15x)

    The thang—DORA: merkins, squats, plank jump (bear crawl out/crab walk back for switch)

    What’s the reward for finishing DORA, waiting on the six you ask: plank and wait?SSH? Recover? NONSENSE! Take a 20 count and let the deca die of pain dictate your fate. YHC was the six so I’m unable to chronicle the exact exercise sequences of the almighty die and I can confirm there were considerable muffled groans and calls for re-rolls due to the same misery coming up twice and probably some numeric modifications. I’ll consult with the deca die to confirm.

    Finish with Mary: dying cockroaches, LBCs, penguins on YHC’s count which was basically following versus of Zac Brown’s “Toes” rather than an actual number and I’m unsure the Pax caught on although I knew they knew something was up when their rep count kept jumping up by doubles, triples, tens, etc. Close out with stretching for those of us getting back into the swing post-pandurrication and coming off injuries. Close out with COT…until next time.