Scratch sound followed by the following message…
“We did 1,000 reps combined of burpees and Bobby Hurleys. We also moved weights in a bucket and a cinder block.”
… We now return you to your show already in progress.
Tag: Grundy
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April Fool’s Workout: The Legend of Grundy and the Bucket of Doom – from Grundy
This morning, the sun rose on an unsuspecting group of warriors, ready for another classic April Fool’s workout. Grundy, our fearless leader, arrived with Jose Russo Bushwacker Shooter, who may or may not be a real person but certainly sounded like a guy who meant business. We all chuckled, debating whether we should start with a solid 30 minutes of warm-ups or just dive into the rich history of pranks from workouts past. But no—Grundy was in no mood for jokes today. He had a bucket full of stones and a soul full of vengeance.
The madness began immediately. One unlucky soul had to carry the Bucket of Doom all the way to the stage, where they were rewarded with 10 burpees—a true sign that life is unfair—before running it back to the group. Meanwhile, the rest of us embraced the suffering with burpees, because why not add to the chaos with a running cumulative total? Once the poor fool with the bucket survived, we transitioned to our next task: carrying the Block of Destiny up and down the stairs, a shuttle run from Hades itself.
But wait—there’s more. We then formed a circle to partake in what can only be described as the most ridiculous exercise ever invented. Each of us paraded our blocks down the corridor with the grace of a newborn giraffe, before planking and sliding our coupon back like we were human curling stones.
Then, things got weird. Dragons descended from the heavens. Fire-breathing lizards engaged in aerial combat. Grundy, now completely unhinged, lifted 400 blocks with a single pinky while cackling like a supervillain. Burpees and squats continued as monstrous creatures clashed in an epic battle of strength and agility.
And just when it seemed like things couldn’t get any wilder…
Oh wait. April Fool’s.
But seriously, we’re all sore now.
Come out to the A1C on April 11th for Moby’s Birthday Q. He’s turning 75!!
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Post St. Patrick Day Fun – from Steve
I am stuck in my annual LEAP testing training so I decided to do Steve’s backblast post St. Patricks Day!
There once was a man stuck in review,
With nothing important to do.
So he wrote with some flair,
‘Bout Steve’s lack of care,
And a workout that barely pulled through!They warmed up but couldn’t keep pace,
Poor Steve had a look of disgrace.
With counting all botched,
And focus half-watched,
It turned to a comedy case!They crawled and they climbed in despair,
Then ninjas showed up from nowhere!
Or maybe, instead,
Leprechauns leapt ahead,
(But I left, so I really don’t care). -
Mardi Gras Madness: A Leg Day to Remember – from Jose10k
Five brave (or foolish) souls decided that the best way to celebrate Mardi Gras morning was not with king cake and mimosas, but with a leg workout that left us questioning why we didn’t sleep in. With rucksacks strapped on—because why not add extra suffering?—we kicked off the festivities with a warm-up, complete with Mardi Gras music to trick our bodies into thinking this was fun.
Then came the main event: sprinting (or some variation of fast waddling) up the stairs (Grundy led the pax as per the usual, he legit sprinted), looping around the lighthouse, and then executing a flawless Lieutenant Dan back to the start. Three glorious laps of this, because we believe in suffering together.
Next, we moseyed over for step-ups—ten per leg—just in case our quads weren’t already on fire. Then it was off to the bus stop for a delightful mix of Irkins and Freak Nasties, because I honestly was making up shit as I walked. I was tired.
With our legs now resembling overcooked spaghetti, we weaved our way through a slalom run, hit some calf raises up and down, and finished strong with 15 minutes of core work, ensuring that every inch of our bodies would hate us tomorrow. Jane Fondas (Steve’s version of them, on steriods). Wife pleasers with a long pause, followed by pulses as well. “It’s the best way to dry out the taint.”
And just like that, the beatdown was over. It’s been awhile since I actually saw an end to a Granny Beatdown. It felt odd and awkward actually typing that last sentence. Russo prayed us out, and we stumbled off to see what parades (if any) were still rolling in the wind. Thanks for letting me lead, and if your legs still function tomorrow, come join the fun at the Gipper for round three.
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Ugh, I guess we need to do something now – from Russo
Since Pelican and I have been regulars on Friday mornings, the goal has been to move around some, discuss the world’s problems, throw out a conspiracy or two, and generally move around enough to feel ok about eating dessert later. On a scale of 1-10 on the pain train / difficulty scale, we keep it under 4. That’s the reality of the spashpad, and I’m ok with it. Buuuut, we ha a visitor this week: Grundy. He of the “I’m going to do a cake walk with multiple-IC 8 count movements.” Mr. “A 2 .5 hour beatdown is not that bad one you get past the 100 burpees and only have man makers left.”
So needless to say, we needed to up our game to make sure it was somewhat worth getting up and driving over.
No Valentines to speak of (regrettably). No candy hearts or flowers or chocolate. Pax of 3 this morning, mid 40 throughout. With doctor’s orders to keep the running to a minimum, we did just that with a Tabata at the stage and benches.
Warmup (all 10x)
– arm circles
– Air presses
– Grass grabbers
– Imperial walkers
– Self loveTabata (40 seconds on, 20 off) – alternating between benches and stage – 3 rounds at bench, 2 at the stage
Benches
Freak Nastys
Step ups
Bulgarian Split Squats
UrkinsStage
Merkins
Flutter kicks
Monkey humpers
LBCs
Plank jacks
Squats
Penguins
Mountain climbers
Lunges
Gas pumps
Cherry pickers
Crunchy frogs
Shoulder tapsNo Mary to speak of, but we did of course wrap with a circle, announcements, and prayer.
Thank you gents for joining / reading. SYITG
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The Mandela Effect? – from Russo
The Mandela Effect: phenomenon where a large group of people misremember an event or share a memory of something that didn’t happen. It’s a social phenomenon that occurs when people have false memories of a person, place, or event.
Want an example? People remember Nelson Mandela dying in prison. They may remember a cornucopia on the Fruit of the Loom logo (myself included). They swear Vader says “Luke, I am your father.” Mr. Moneybags (I think that’s the gent from Monopoly) doesn’t have a monocle?
A more local example? The Treen Center. I swear I’ve left my keys on the bench more than once. Steve swears he remembers a Super 20-something led by me but my counting always stops at 10. We both swear we remember Shooter and Jose “scissoring” on the bench, but alas that was just a threat (proposition?).
Jose and Steve were running around as I arrived, followed by both Coachella (not HogsBreath) and Grundy (also not HogsBreath).
Lower 60s to start, slightly less humid, overall both “pleasant” and “sweat-inducing.”
Warmup (all 10-20x IC)
– Sealjacks
– Grass grabbers
– Arm circles
– Imperial walkers
– Self love
– maybe some other stuff, I don’t remember because Jose distracted me with his average time per mile. Dude’s a full-on runner now, no doubt.Thang
The Walls of Jericho
(7 rounds of moseys around the Treen center, it of the Mandela effect) interspersed with seven reps of 7 exercises:
– 7 merkins
– 7 squats
– 7 lunges
– 7 Peter Parker’s
– 7 SMCs
– 7 shoulder tap plank jacks
– 7 monkey humpersA mosey back to base where we wrap up with COT, NOR, Announcements, and Prayer.
Great group this morning, and I’m glad to have been able to share the streets with you. SYITG
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KISS with Crucial Taunt – from Jose10k
Late Friday evening, when everyone else was busy pretending their weekend plans were too important to sweat it out, I decided to keep it “simple stupid” and crank out a Murph at the marsh. Because why not combine the serenity of nature with a borderline masochistic workout, right?
We kicked things off with a quick warm-up around the flag—mostly to loosen up, but also to stall and hope for a miracle excuse to skip leg day. No such luck. Straight to the marsh we moseyed, where we proceeded to grind through 20 sets of 5 pull-ups, 10 push-ups, and 20 squats.
Now, here’s where the comedy gold begins. You’ve got Bird over there doing jump squats with a full spin like he’s auditioning for Cirque du Soleil, and Zoolander showing off with thumb-only pull-ups and one-legged inverted Bulgarian split squats. The rest of us? Oh, we were doing our own kind of heavy lifting—debating whether Guns N’ Roses could out-mosh New Kids on the Block, swapping embarrassing stories about our ‘90s crushes, and contemplating if VH1’s Behind the Music counts as cardio.
After wrapping up the Murph and rethinking life choices, we moved on to some Lt. Dan lunge-walking—because who doesn’t love a good Forrest Gump reference in the middle of quad destruction? We finally ran into Grundy, who had been “enthusiastically” searching for us by running laps around the lakefront. (Sure, buddy. We believe you.)
Stop signs became our new nemeses, where we busted out 20 squats at each one. At the second-to-last stop, we switched it up with two rounds of 20 penguins and 20 LBCs because nothing screams camaraderie like flapping around like aquatic birds. A few brave souls sprinted to the flag to finish strong while the rest of us casually redefined what counts as a “sprint.”
We wrapped up with C.O.T., where Russo prayed us out, undoubtedly asking for divine intervention to heal our sore muscles and to forgive Bird and Zoolander for showing us all up.
Thanks for letting me lead, gentlemen. Next time, let’s try something harder—like keeping a straight face when Zoolander breaks out those one-legged shenanigans again.
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Coming to you live in 25, first Saturday beatdown of the year! – from Jose10k
OK Waterpik was the only one out there early doing the pre-thing. It was a nice chilly morning. Started off with the usual warm-up size straddle hops torso twist grass grabbers windmills you know you got the usual Bushwacker grumble grumble as always. All right mosey to Noah’s ark this is where my partner in crime Jv took over. It was a simple Dora 100 Americans 200 LBC’s 300 squats while partner one did the exercise partner to ran the block. After that I took over and we decided to mosey to the marsh stopping at every other stop sign to do 23 squats 10 Merkens in honor of Notre Dame winning 23 to 10 against Georgia. Once we got to the basketball courts, we split it up into three teams each team two teams battling on the basketball courts for six minutes while the third team was on the playground equipment doing sets of five pull-ups 10 Merkins 15 squats rinse and repeat over and over again Both teams ended up in a tie which to be honest I didn’t prepare for that so we kind of waste a little bit of time trying to figure out who was gonna be the next team up. My team got destroyed Truecoat and Zoolander, which is too much in the paint for our only one basketball player Grundy to try to compete against him then we mow it all the way back straight around there circled around the flag And then Butt Splice and Manny join us for coffee afterwards, which is always a pleasant surprise and that’s about it nightmare after Christmas or nightmare before Valentine’s Day or nightmare during Mardi Gras season or hell it might be nightmare on Memorial Day, but Grundy’s getting some coming soon so be on the lookout for thatI appreciate y’all coming out. Appreciate Jv help me you and I’d say I’m out. See you in the glom gentlemen.
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Let’s start this party with a bang – from Jose10k
A bunch of gentlemen got together this morning to finally put forth an epic beatdown worthy of the first day of 2025. Bushwhacker was first up, it was Round Robin style, and of course Bushwhacker started off giving a wonderful description of his beatdown. The detailed, thought out approach was mesmerizing. His intensity is legendary, however, Ten minutes later, he just simply called out 100-100s and he was done. Next up was Bird. Bird gave us his infamous yoga workout, which was unbelievably increasingly difficult. Stretches, handstands, where he walked around with three people on both of his feet while he was handstanding on one arm. Epic. Akbar kept it simple: 3 rounds of Stone Mountains increasing by 5 up the street, then decreasing by 5 back down. Grundy was up next. That’s when he brought out 2 100 pound sandbags and a spear. We each took turns trying to hit the unlucky man carrying the sandbags with the spear. Luckily, no one could hit the broad side of a barn. But we did hear Grundy yell “ If you think you want to quit, don’t quit! JV was grumble grumble, but more pissed about the pace for next years turkey trot. Next up was Einstein with Star Jacks and the. Norwegian speed skater workout. we hate him for that. Next up was Fledge with hot sauce. We always enjoy the hot sauce, it’s good stuff. BBQ was up with some, uh, Al Gore Thorough Goods, and a cadence that was very, very questionable. And of course, there was Hammer, and Hammer simply said, let’s do burpees, while giving us random 80s and 90s pop culture trivia. Shooter had donkey kicks. Hate donkey kicks. And those damn dice and jump rope. Ken from Humana will beat you down, but get you a great deal on healthcare with his own personal birthday celebrations. Shooter than called out for Steve to go next. Steve with his Bulgarian Split Squats and his cracking burpees. I’m so sick of those, Steve. The next person up on the list, well, it was Moby. Oh, Moby and that damn chain. I’m so sick of that chain. But at 74, soon to be 75, I guess he can do whatever the hell he wants. Zoolander was next up, and he doesn’t have a signature exercise, but god dang, does he not just look dapper. He was wearing those iconic aviator sunglasses and the feathered hair just in a perfect form. It’s epic. Waterpik and his perfect squats. Perfect form, and then a nice, you know, three-mile jog to warm us all up. And then while we’re doing all that, my nephew Speedy comes around the corner after running 15 miles with a four-minute, three-thirty-second pace. And then there was somebody going, huh? And that was Frank from Rommel trying to wrestle Russo down to the ground to try to convince him that Forrest Gump was the greatest movie ever made. All Russo wanted to do was a round of “Never have I ever” , and I’m still not convinced of the rules. While that was going on, Cowbell ran by on mile six of his jog this morning. We all then did our best Christopher Walken impression. All in all, none of this actually happened because Moby and I were the only two stupid idiots to get up on New Year’s Day. But I included all the gentlemen I could possibly think of to summarize the 2024 F3 beatdowns that I’ve grown to love and hate. But just wanted to give shout outs to people that if you made the list, you had of great importance to me. And if you did not mention you, I’ll just honest with you, I’m delirious on about 3 hours of sleep. SYITG
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December Flickerball Challenge – from TruCoat
A robust group assembled Saturday morning for some friendly strife on the Northshore Flickerball Field and a bit of personal challenge. The group began the work-out by competing in an abbreviated IronPAX 2022 Challenge, CARE BEAR SQUARED. Each competitor completed several iterations of a 100-yard course, with sets of 25 air squats, merkins, big boy sit-ups, and burpees interspersed by different forms of the bear crawl. Most hit the intended mark of 250 reps or 2.5 total iterations in the 20 minutes allotted.
With the warm-up complete, we turned to the main event, Youth versus Beauty (Seniors) in a 25-minute game of flickerball. As expected, the Seniors built momentum early and took the lead as Zoolander whizzed one into the narrow goal. The game remained 1 to nil despite constant attacks by the Seniors, with the Youth’s star defended, Dukes of Hazzard, devoting his body multiple times to the ensure a solid defense! Dukes’ dedication sparked several inspired runs by the Youth, capped off three times by the unstoppable Brexit. With the score flipped in the Youths favor and time winding down, the Seniors launched multiple attacks to no avail. The game ended dramatically with a ball in the Lake drifting towards New Orleans. Bushwacker, aka WaterBoy-Aquaman, bravely entered the ice-cold, gator infested waters to retrieve the ball and commit to a re-match against the Youth one day. Prayer and coffee followed.
