F3 New Orleans

Tag: Grandma's House

  • Oy Vey: An Unorthodox Morning at Granny’s – from Steve

    “Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means I don’t work, I don’t drive a car, I don’t lift cinderblocks or crawl like a goddamn bear, and I sure as shit don’t do kraken burpees!”

    -Walter Sobchak (paraphrased)

    Well, at least I tried. YHC thought maybe a pre-beatdown announcement on slack could lure in the likes of Zoolander or Shooter, but alas, they did not take the bait. No bigge, though – the Granny regulars were there, including Granny’s favorite son, Russo, who has (somewhat) recovered from throwing out his back a month ago.

    Now, not wanting to tarnish his enduring reputation for being late after a string of on-time appearances, Cowbell showed up this morning exactly five minutes after we began. What’s so crazy, and I think Hammer has pointed this out before, is that he is so precisely five minutes late every time. He’s got it down to a science, really. I mean, you’d think the guy could just set his alarm clock exactly five minutes earlier and that’d be that.

    Anyway, as he sidled up next to Jose and ignored whatever warmup exercise we were doing, he mentioned that he had a really good excuse for being late this time (and boy did he): Orthodox Jews. We’ll just let that one sit for a moment.

    Warmorama: Torso twists, self love, arm circles, windmills, side straddle hops, toe touches, 10x merkins.

    Thang: First up today, a mosey to the lakefront, stopping at each intersection for a set of 10x leg, 20x chest, and 30x core exercises. Exercises were as follows:

    Squats
    Merkins
    Flutters

    Lunges
    Diamond Merks
    LBCs

    Jump Squats
    Explosive Merks
    Freddie mercs

    Star jumps
    Hand release merkins
    Crunchy Frogs

    Sister Mary’s
    T-merkins
    Leg Raises

    Jump Knee Tucks
    Staggered Merkins
    Heel Pulses

    Before Jose could continue kvetching about helping his uncle with a stuck trailer, or about the number of merkins that were rapidly piling up at this point (130), Cowbell elaborated that some of his biggest (and best) clients are Orthodox Jews from Brooklyn. While detailing some of the interesting quirks of the orthodox, he assured us that he was a man of integrity (yeah, sure, a mensch) and that he loved those guys. In fact, he is often confused for being an orthodox Jew himself! But man, those guys sure send a lot of emails after shabbos…

    Alright, so once we reached the sea wall, it was the usual leg work:
    Step ups L x15
    Step ups R x15
    Freaks x15
    Bulgarians L x15
    Bulgarians R x15
    Derkins x15

    Then a short mosey to rips for 5 calf raises on each step before heading back to Granny’s, alternating between standard mosey and sprints every other block. COT where Hammer prayed us out, thanking God for all of our blessings and asking to open Cowbell’s heart to his people. YHC had to leave shortly thereafter, as the guys stood around discussing the soft white underbelly of America and, trust me, you don’t want to be a part of that conversation. Thank you men for the opportunity to get stronger alongside you, always appreciated!

  • Sweatin’ at the Krak of Dawn – from Steve

    Conditions this past Tuesday morning were such that you could step outside, do 15 side straddle hops, walk right back in to your well air conditioned home and you’d still look like you’d just given Russo an overly long bear hug (or perhaps engaged in some sort of scissoring activity with Jose). So a 45 minutes beatdown? Forget about it, we’d all be dripping in Shooter-esque proportions.

    It was no surprise then, when a sweaty, shirtless figure emerged from the shadows heading eastbound on the trace at around 0500. What was a surprise, though, was that this guy was neither an F3 dude nor part of Garfield’s crew. Furthering the mystery was that he was riding one bike while guiding a second, passenger-less bike. He seemed a little jumpy when he reached the bathrooms and disappeared for a bit, only to then re-emerge and make a very determined beeline for Hammer the second his truck pulled in. And although Hammer had probably only awakened 15 minutes prior to this moment, he unsurprisingly had enough wits about him to easily deflect the man’s urgent request for a ride to Lacombe.

    Cowbell then rolled in (completely unaware of the above) and once it was clear that it’d only be three of us, we got down to it. The usual warmorama before moseying west to the tunnel (and leaving my own bike behind, reasoning that it’d probably be difficult for one man to successfully steer three bikes to Lacombe without some help).

    Originally I had planned to stop at each intersection on the way for 10x kraken burpees, but with conversation flowing (and not wanting to immediately sour anyone on their decision to post this morning), YHC filed that one away for the journey back.

    Once at the tunnel, we did a round of B.O.M.B’s, with a backwards jog up the far end ramp between each set:

    B – x10 Burpees
    O – x20 Overhead claps (IC)
    M – x30 Merkins
    B – x40 Big Boy’s
    S – x50 Sister Mary’s (1 is 1)

    It finally felt like the right time to drop the krakens on them, so we knocked out one set right there at the base of the tunnel before starting the mosey back, completing a second set once we had emerged from the wooded area.

    Took a quick break at the bus depot to get the usual leg work in:

    12x step ups
    12 jump overs
    12x step ups
    12 jump overs
    12x bulgarians
    12x freak nasties
    12x bulgarians
    12x freak nasties

    Slow mosey over to Lafitte to complete the kraken trifecta (at this point, I think we were all wishing Russo a quick recovery so he could take the next Granny Q and relieve me of this bizarre affinity for krakens), and then finally back to the flag for some Mary. (Oh, and one last round of x20 merkins to bring our total to a nice, even 150.).

    COT where we prayed for those injured or lost in the boating accident the night before and gave thanks for another day on this earth. And thank you gents for the opportunity to lead, for putting up with my Q’s, and for getting me out there – YHC certainly wouldn’t do it without the accountability.

    Also, Jose – I essentially wrote this backblast for you. Since you’ve been posting 4-5 times a week now that school’s out, and you’re always hounding me for backblasts, I figured you would appreciate me finally writing one for the only beatdown you didn’t attend.

  • Old reliable – from Russo

    70 degrees and humid this morning for a group of 6 to conquer the semi-regular (when I have put less thought into Q than I’d like) deck of death. Old reliable was supposed to be the deck, but it also meant:

    – JV and Cowbell continuing their verbal sparring / encouragement
    – Hammer coming up with yet another brilliant analogy
    – Sweat angels from YHC that confounds Bushwhacker

    Warmup – all IC 10x -20x

    – Sealjacks
    – Arm circles
    – Toe touches
    – Grass grabbers
    – High knees

    Thang – Deck of Death (count and exercise based on card turned over)

    Split the deck into 3 groups for rounds. Rounds included:
    Spades – Wide merkins
    Clubs – crab cakes
    Diamonds – jump squats
    Hearts – circle ups

    Spades – shoulder tap merkins
    Clubs – calf raises (2 is 1)
    Diamonds – SMCs
    Hearts – Crunchy frogs

    Spades – Freak nastys
    Clubs – Monkey Humpers
    Diamonds – side squats (2 is 1)
    Hearts – box cutters / Cowbell Saturday Night Special (size of boxes varied)

    Mary (with bonus definition of Mary for the Pax from Bushwhacker):

    – 20 freak nastys
    – 20 shoulder tap plank jacks
    – American hammers 10 IC
    – Wife pleasers 20 IC
    – Gas pumps 10 IC
    – Hello Dollie’s 10 IC
    – 10 donkey kicks (what’s up Shooter?!?!)

    COT, name-o-rama, announcements and prayer closed us out. Special intention for those traveling.

    MVP to JV for accepting constructive criticism and encouragement from Cowbell with grace and style.

    Thanks for joining, gents, and yet ANOTHER all star krewe this week.

  • “Scissor me Softly” by Jose 10k – from Shooter

    Being out of sync with attendance the last few weeks YHC was refreshed to post at Grandmas on this Gloom..Since the start of the new year most credit goes to Russo for rejuvenating attendance at one of the Northshores original AOs… T👏🏼 to his dedication and persistent posting in leading our F3 brethren on the Northside.. As I recently signed up for multiple AOs over the weekend my brain 🧠 was in constant taught on what to bring or do on this gloom.. With the trusted Exicon and some assistance from Cowbell anything is possible… Hopeful of a Bushwacker showing, YHC figured the PAX would stay in proximity of the Firehouse in case of course there might be an A.L.A.R.M… With No Bushwacker in sight, the only alarmingly moment of the day would be Jose 10k suggesting some scissor ✂️ action with the Q on the benches while completing get this “Freak Nasties” by the Treen center.. He has most obviously gained great knowledge of recent Inclusion training, appreciate the compliment 10k 🤗😉…
    Enough of that so here is the breakdown…

    Warmup
    15IC Cherry Pickers, Moroccans, Toe Touches, Abe Vagodas, Grass grabbers and Imperial walkers…

    Thang
    1st A.L.A.R.M (Bus stop)
    25 rep count Incline Merkin, Step ups, Donkey kickoffs, run to the stop sign and return to the bus stop for Merkins. (Cowbell)
    2nd A.L.A.R.M (Treen center)
    25 rep count Freak Nasties, Squats, American Hammers run around the building and finish with Monkey Humpers. (Cowbell)
    3rd A.L.A.R.M (Rusty Pelican)
    25 rep count Carolina dry docks, Box jumps, LBCs run to stop sign towards the Marsh and return for 3x 10 sec Mission impossible hold. (Cowbell)
    4th A.L.A.R.M (Trailhead)
    25 rep count Burpees, Lunges, 2/1 Mountain climbers, run around the trailhead and concluded with a Monkey crawl up the steps..

    4 mins remaining PAX completed 15IC Crunchy frog, Oblique cross crunch, 💯s and Flutter kicks Cowbell style..

    Thanks to Murdock for traveling down from Pearl River and congrats on the new job as he closed us out with COT…

    Appreciate the post gentlemen and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!

  • White elephant (Special co-Q by Pokémon Deez Nuts) – from Russo

    Cooler-than-normal temps (50 degrees) greeted the Pax of 7 this morning for a recycled/repurposed beatdown. But, hey, it was new for ‘22, and for at least some, it was new to them, so we proceed!

    Warmup (All IC, 10x to 20x)
    – SSH
    – Toe touches
    – Arm circles
    – Good mornings
    – Self love

    Thang
    Dirty Santa / White Elephant. The rules are simple:
    (1) Each HIM picks a number.
    (2) Number 1 picks a random gift/exercise from the bag (in this case, a quart sized Ziploc) and performs said exercise while the other HIM perform the standard (e.g. 10 merkins).
    (3) Number 2 has a choice: Number 1’s chosen exercise, the standard, or a new “gift”. If he chooses either of the first two options, the one who had their “gift” stolen can steal or select another mystery “gift”.
    (4) Around and around we go, until all HIM have a chance to select.

    The “gifts”:
    -10 merkins
    -18 jump squats
    -25 squats
    -8 Hand release merkins
    -20 hello dollies
    -14 leg raises
    -30 monkey humpers
    -25 plank jacks
    -4 krakken burpees
    -8 SMCs
    -15 murder bunnies or groiners
    -20 bear crawls
    -10 diamond merkins
    -50 high knees
    -24 Apollo ohnos
    -12 star jumps
    -2 calf raises
    -20 hip slappers
    -12 hallelujah squats
    -33 cherry pickers
    -6 donkey kicks

    Between rounds, Pax also moseyed around Granny’s, on occasion doing the “column slalom” ™ to provide for some strategizing.

    There was just enough time to get in 20 IC Freak Nastys, a trip up the pilot house with 2 calf raises on each step, 10 star jumps at the top, and a quick round of a Mary (20IC American Hammers and Wife Pleasers).

    COT, name-o-rama, announcements and prayer closed us out.

    MVP to JV for his outstanding work imitating a bear for almost an entire round.

    I appreciate you all joining me and letting me lead another All-Star crew.

    SYITG

  • You got to roll me, and call me… – from Russo

    71 degrees, balmy, breezy greeted a pax of 5 this morning at Granny’s, but despite the warnings and threat, no rain!

    Warmup (10-20x all IC)
    – Seal jacks
    – High knees
    – Self love
    – Arm circles
    – Toe touches
    – Good mornings

    Thang

    Super simple this week, a block by block mosey around old Mandeville, stopping to confuse the cars that passed as to why 5 HIM were rolling dice in the middle of the street.

    10 reps of each exercise based on the number of the roll. A double roll? Double the reps to 20 (Rummel math!)

    Roll of 2 – Burpees
    3 – Monkey Humpers
    4 – Leg raises
    5 – Shoulder tap merkins
    6 – Big boy sit-ups
    7 – Hallelujah squats
    8 – 8 count body builders
    9 – SMCs
    10 – Groiners
    11 – Peter Parker merkins
    12 – Calf raises

    Back at Granny’s, we utilized the benches for 10 quick Freak Nastys IC and 10 step ups.

    COT, Name-o-Rama, Announcements, and Prayer closed us out.

    Things we learned:

    – Convergence / Manniversary is THIS Saturday on the lakefront. In my best “announcer for monster truck shows / pro wrestling cards” voice: BE THERE!!!!

    – The SLU / Ole Miss baseball game will continue to live on in infamy. YHC believes this is the 4th straight week we’ve worked it into mumblechatter.

    – I get how odds work. There are 6 ways to roll a 7 with two dice, and only one to roll Snake eyes or Box cars. But this PAX really, really loved rolling 7s. Don’t take us to a craps table. Hallelujah squats for all!

    Thanks, gents, for joining me and giving me an opportunity to lead such a fine group. Great work as always.

    🤛🏼💪🏼

  • “SUPER 21” – from Shooter

    Still recovering with soreness from accepting my 2.0s change of pace for some gym work on Saturday and Waterpik’s previous Monday Q of constant reps at the Marsh, YHC selected an oldie but goodie from the Exicon.. Arriving at the AO with 4 PAX already assembled in the freshly updated splash pad area I quickly jumped out and planted the shovel flag and began listening to the chatter of college baseball between Russo and JV.. Both hopeful of a Cowbell sighting, so that he could be reminded of his recent Rebels series loss over the weekend to the Volunteers..As to not disappoint the illumination coming down Girord street soon revealed the conversation would indeed be continued..

    Warmup
    All IC10 Cherry Pickers, Arm circles forward and back, Toe touches, Hillbillies, Imperial walkers and a brief mosey around the block back to the other side of the breezeway..

    Super 21
    After a short winded like Bushwacker explanation (if that’s even possible) PAX was given instructions on the exercises and break work between.. Instead of sticking to 2 body movements YHC decided to incorporate 6 different movements hopefully to accomplish total body work..

    Utilizing the breezeway pillars throughout its entirety we started with 1-7 Carolina dry docks and Donkey kickoffs.. Met at the stage for 21 recovery 8count body builders. 8-14 Merkins and Mountain climbers 2×1 again meeting at the stage for 21 recovery 8count body builders. 15-21 SSH and squats closing with 21 8count body builders.. Time remaining was 7 mins and after a slow recovery walk back to the splash pad 6 mins of Mary was left to close.. 15IC Crunchy 🐸, alternating elbow to knee both sides of course, Cowbell edition flutter kicks, Little Manny crunches and finished off with 100 OYO 💯s!!

    Count, announced all the great activities coming in April, COT

    Appreciate JV for closing out the PAX in 🙏🏼

    Until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!

  • Recycling: Good for the Earth, Good for the Soul – from Steve

    Rolled up a little early to secretly unload a few cinderblocks this morning, only to find Russo and and Murdoch already on the lookout. This was my first time meeting Murdoch, and YHC assumed he was visiting from another region because a) he looked fairly fit and, b) he was already wearing an F3 shirt. But no! Akbar named Murdoch last Wednesday and, with talk of four posts this week, it’s pretty clear he’s all in! Great, we need some new faces at Granny’s. But hey hey hey – let’s not pass along a shovel flag just yet guys.

    Little bit of catching up about the Nehemiah Project’s 4x4x48, about the SLU / Ole Miss game, and about JV doling out life lessons to ignorant teenagers who hit a car and run. Hey, they can’t all be as upstanding as Grover.

    Warmorama: Torso twists, SSH’s, IW’s, windmills, arm circles, seal jacks, cherry pickers, maybe some other stuff.

    Mosey to the stage for the main event.

    Now YHC will admit, recycling old beatdowns has become something of a pattern lately. And by ‘old,’ I mean, last week’s beatdown, maybe one from the week before. It’s not that I’m lazy, or that the beatdown was even that good, it’s… it’s just that… well, ok, yes, YHC is just lazy. And maybe a bit unimaginative. Mostly lazy though. Anyhow, what we did: a rotating circuit with one guy doing 20x burpees as a timer (JV loved this the first time, so you can imagine his delight in repeating it this morning), while the other pax were performing:

    – Curls
    – Squat thrusters
    – Chest presses
    – Lunges

    Because we didn’t have as many guys this time, once we had all completed the above, we set a one minute timer and knocked out big boys and plank jacks, which were part of the original circuit.

    Then a short mosey around the trailhead before returning to… that’s right, rinse and repeat. Somewhere in there, Russo and JV checked the wall of the stage for the scrawled out wisdom of teenagers. A sort of bathroom stall version of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus-kinda thing that can’t be repeated here provided some good laughs (though god help any small kids who stumble upon this – maybe we’ll have to paint over

    After the second run, we kept the burpees (though we downsized to 15x this time) and threw everything else out in favor of:

    – Alpos
    – Rows
    – Goblet squats
    – Monkey humpers

    JV suspected there was some leftover animosity from the Ole Miss game in the way Cowbell kept shouting out: C’mon JV!! No time for the additional exercises this time, stashed away the blocks and circle up for some Mary: leg raises, Rosalita’s, and crunchy frogs to close it out.

    COT, announcements (April 9th, Northshore’s SIXTH anniversary convergence – be there!), and JV prayed us out. Thank you men for the opportunity to get stronger along side you, and the chance to lead. I appreciate it brothers.

  • Party Gras (Don’t mind the date) – from Russo

    The radar this morning did not look promising, so YHC was pleasantly surprised to see JV, Fletch, and Cowbell brave the showers and join me for Granny’s Party Gras ™, 2022 edition, even if it was postponed 2 weeks and scaled back.

    Never one to let a moderately adequate planned Q go to waste, the plan was to base the beatdown around everyone’s favorite floating holiday in this area (unless you’re a bigger President’s day, Labor Day, Flag day, or Thanksgiving fan).

    WARMUP (all IC, 10x – 20x)
    Sealjacks
    Good mornings
    Arm circles
    Windmills
    Self love
    Imperial walkers

    THANG
    Trivia, then corresponding exercise (with column slaloms intermittently disbursed between questions)

    How many official colors of Mardi Gras? 3
    – Suicide – 3 merkins at each column

    What year was the first known Mardi Gras parade? 1837
    – 18 burpees, 37 lunges

    What year were floats introduced? 1857
    – 18 merkins, 57 squats

    When does Mardi Gras season start? King’s day, January 6, or 1-6 (correct answer from Fletch!)
    – 16 SMCs

    How many floats were in this year’s Thoth parade? 41
    – 41 plankjacks

    What float number was I on? 31
    – 31 monkey humpers

    How many scheduled parades (riding, walking, dog) were in and around the New Orleans area this year? 71
    – 71 high knees (2 is 1)

    How many all-female Krewes are there? 8 (Nefertiti, Cleopatra, Eve, Femme Fatale, Nyx, Muses, Selene, Iris)
    – 8 8 count body builders

    Tabata (40 seconds AMRAP, 20 seconds rest)
    – Crab cakes
    – LBCs
    – Wife pleasers
    – Peter Parker’s
    – Apollo Ohnos
    – Crunchy Frogs
    – Butt kicks
    – American Hammers

    – 90 second plank

    COT, Name-o-Rama, announcements (Nehemiah project’s Endurathon this weekend, see/contact Hammer for more info) and prayer closed us out.

    Thanks for joining/reading. You guys make it easier to get up before 5 with the threat of showers looming and push myself to get better.

    SYITG

  • 2sday – from Russo

    I had a much different plan for this morning at Granny’s that may or may not have involved a Fibonacci sequence. But as I was prepping my electronic winky, I realized 2day’s date and had 2 erase the whiteboard and start over.

    Great Pax of 8 HIM 2day 2 celebrate a once in a century event: 2-22-22, with a spring-like 65 degrees and slight breeze as our backdrop.

    Warmup (12x or 22x, all IC)
    – Sealjacks
    – Cherry pickers
    – Self love
    – Toe touches
    – Butt kicks
    – Grass grabbers

    Thang

    – 22 Freak nastys
    – Calf raises up the pilot house, 2 every 2nd step
    – 22 Freak nastys (IC, thanks Cowbell!)
    – Calf raises up the pilot house, 2 every 2nd step

    Mosey over 2 the busstop, where it was 22 step ups

    Mosey further 2 Coffee Street for 22 monkey humpers

    Mosey 2 the tunnel, followed by:
    – 11 patty cake merkins
    – Mosey down to the tunnel, shuffle step through the tunnel, back pedal back up
    – R&R those patty cake merkins and tunnel mosey

    Mosey back 2 Coffee Street for 22 Crab cakes
    Mosey back 2 the bus stop for 22 Donkey kicks
    Mosey 2 home for column suicides, 2 merkins at each column

    2 minute plank

    Slalom mosey

    Mary
    – 22 crunchy frogs
    – 22 wife pleasers
    – 22 gas pumps

    COT, Name-o-rama, announcements, and prayer wrapped us up.

    Announcements

    -Cowbell has RCR T’s for captains to be distributed.
    – Hammer and crew are fundraising for the Nehemiah project, check Slack for more info
    – Chainsaw is celebrating his eighth trip around the sun and has his VQ this Saturday at the Lakefront!
    – A week from today is Party Gras at Granny’s, post if you’re in town for some Fat Tuesday-themed fun

    The all-stars were out this morning. You all pushed me and for that, and the camaraderie, I thank you.

    SYITG