F3 New Orleans

Tag: Goose

  • 2 Year Manniversary of F3 Thibodaux! A Brief History of F3 Down the Bayou – from Goose

    The highly anticipated day had arrived. Costumes were donned, and the gloom was dark. So dark, in fact, that Paradox, fully decked out in unlicensed Jack Sparrow gear, did a full Helen Keller on an FNG, hands all over his face saying, “Goose, Goose is that you?” just because the guy showed up in a grayish Tundra. The FNG was accomodating, and YHC did show up a little later, overjoyed at the PAX’s costumes and their total disregard for how they’d fare in the rain, the dirt, and through at least 100 burpees. From giant furry vikings to skin tight Moana characters to full size pickles, these dudes were all in. Thankfully, God delayed the rain for a few hours, so the weather was perfect and the morale was super high (made even higher by Head Cheese’s dramatic entrance). We had record numbers at The Peltch, coffeeteria planned for the first time, and 2 years of an unprecedented journey to tromp through–it was an awesome morning!
    Warmup of the usual with last minute costumers trickling in (Picadilly’s pickle balls were amazing, even if they fell off during the first set of mountain climbers). PAX grabbed coupons out the truck, and we were off toward the lower field for the First Era of F3 Thibodaux: Goose-olation

    Era 1: The Genesis of the Beginning, The Dawn of the Origins, Part I
    Goose arrives in Thibodaux from Mandeville with nothing but a list of backblasts from NOLA, Northshore and BR. He couldn’t stop the progress, though, and had high hopes for what might develop. So, the backyard would have to do. For months, what drove him on was knowing that F3 brethren somewhere had already sweat through whatever beatdown he had pulled from the backblast list, so he wasn’t completely “alone”.
    The routine for this era would be The Big Bang:
    All PAX start in a bunch huddled around the coupons. First round, grab a coupon, do 5 OH presses, then mosey 10 steps out from the pack and do 10 burpees (facing outward for max isolation) before returning and plank up for the six.
    2nd round: 5 OH presses, mosey 15 steps out, 15 merkins
    3: 5 OH presses, 20 steps, 20 burpees
    4: 5 OH presses, 25 steps, 25 Hammers
    It’s a reality that pushing alone is way harder than pushing together, and the contrast was felt. Glad to move onto Era 2.

    Era 2: Random pop-ups
    The first to follow the dancing idiot into the madness was technically Cardinal, though he wasn’t seen again for many months (quoted as saying something like “that’s for the birds”). So, Wet Tap gets T-claps for coming out unaccompanied to throw himself into whatever Goose and his Goslings were doing out at Peltier. Then came Gordon, G.I. Joe, and Percolator, though because of work schedules and getting over the initial hump, attendance was random.
    This seemed a great opportunity for the randomness of the Deck of Death, so Wet Tap started us out under the Thunderdome with a random pull followed by three more (Irkins, Bulgarian split squats, and whatever those other two were…). Then, for the sake of time, we moseyed to the baseball field.

    Era 3: Enron
    Goose’s isolation, especially on weekdays, changed unexpectedly with the arrival of Enron. With the dogged determination and willingness to endure pain that only a younger brother could posses, Enron showed up to every beatdown he could and pushed himself hard to keep up with Goose. This quickly led to intense progress and his VQ (alone at The Peltch–for character building). His determination has never slowed, and his Q’s are well thought out (and typed out), usually including some sort of element of chance (for Cardinal).
    PAX partnered up for a grinder as a reminder of all those mornings at The Stage with just Goose and Enron. Split duty on 100 burpees at home plate while partner 2 runs the bases.

    Era 3: Return of the EH (and Crab Walk) King
    Cardinal eventually did return, and not only did he stick with it, even on weekdays, but the PAX quickly began to swell with his FNG’s, and his move to Chackbay has only widened his EH territory.
    The exercise would be Bear Crawl Tag Infection–Cardinal started at the pitchers mound and bear crawled around tagging the PAX, who were crab walking to get away within the confines of the infield. Once someone was tagged, he became part of the cult, switched to bear crawl, and began tagging the rest of the sad clowns (crabwalkers). It took no time for all to be tagged, ironically with Head Cheese being the last…So, we moseyed to The Chimney for Era 4.

    Era 4: Paradox
    As soon as Paradox even heard there was an F3, he had purchased tiny Mudgear shorts and within minutes had memorized the entire Exicon and the last 100 backblasts from the top 5 regions. And, his foot has never let off the gas. This next routine would be a nod to his name (you know, cuz he’s a doctor, and his wife is also a doctor, so they’re a pair-o-docs…), and to a couple of his Peltch Q’s.
    Partner up, both partners do 10 burpees, then one partner body drags another about 20 yards to the chimney, both do 10 more burpees, then flapjack and body drag the other back to start. This is where Paradox’s mustache exploded (the remainder of his facial hair) which made him Orlando Bloom’s character instead (props to Lil’ Cuz for that observation).

    Era 5: Lumen Christi
    Earlier this year Cardinal was able to talk a few of the young men who worked at the chancery with he and YHC to come out to a new beatdown on Tuesday mornings at Lumen Christ, the retreat center behind the chancery (with showers and everything). It was a glorious AO with a great crew, and some of the Thibodaux PAX would show up every now and then, too. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t last as the retreat schedule filled up (I guess it seemed a little less retreat-ish to have a bunch of sweaty dudes bear crawling down the hill to the Top Gun soundtrack or Indian running past the windows with cinder blocks over their heads).
    In a nod to Tighty Whitey (may he never be forgotten) and Enron’s near death experience at Lumen, we did Welsh Dragons up to 7, followed by a mosey to the playground.

    Era 6: SV 500
    The St. Vincent was arguably the best F3 fundraiser in the country (and maybe the world) for 2022 (and maybe for all time, past and future). Thanks to Paradox’s leadership and the buy-in of the rest of the PAX, it went off beautifully, tons of people attended, we had an incredible time, and we surpassed our goal of $10K for prescription meds for people in need. In honor if this incredibly blessed experience, we partnered up again for a quick Dora in honor of the partner race that raised the bar for many years to come.
    Partners would split duty on 100 flutter kicks on the playground side of the “mountain” while partner 2 ran over the “mountain” and did 10 Big Boy Situps on the other side and ran back. Then, moseyed back to the Thunderdome for the final eras.

    Era 7: Jerftember
    Yankee Joe’s arrival came and went like many who get a first taste of F3, puke, and don’t come back. But he did come back after about a month, puked some more, and became hopelessly addicted to growth. The Jerf was born out of this deep desire for more and more growth, and it opened a new era of Thibodaux PAX ownership, comradery, accountability, and WHOOP pressure. It also gave birth to BAPS, who still hasn’t fully proven himself.
    In honor of the Jerf, PAX lined up on the baseline under the Thunderdome for one full round of Jerfing. The sound of 17 PAX dropping cinder blocks onto concrete under an echoing pavillion is truly a glorious thing.

    Era 8: IPC and Burptober
    With one minute remaining, YHC led the PAX in 3 Kraken Burpees in honor of the unprecedented Week 5 of IPC and to finish out the 100 burpees needed for the second to last day of Burptober.

    Moseyed back to the flag, all still in full costume, for an incredible COT and our first ever coffeeteria. Fence Post was named (Welcome!!), Cue Ball was welcomed (originally from F3 Huntsville), and tables, donuts, too much coffee, and raw eggs were laid out under the trees. Conversation was awesome as the PAX rejoiced in the incredible blessing that F3 has been and the unrepeatable gift that each man has been to the whole group. The high from that morning has lasted for multiple days now, and it spilled over into record breaking numbers at The Stage this morning (including Fence Post!). Looking forward to the many years to come!

    See You In The Gloom,
    Goose

  • Hurry Up Wit Them Burpees! – from Goose

    It was YHC’s third Stage beatdown Q this week, and I expected to be out of ideas for how to get 100 burpees into a 45 workout, but I was still excited for the challenge, and the juices were flowing! So, I took up my position on the floor in the bathroom closet so as not to wake the wife and baby and commenced to scribbling.

    After a warmup that was lengthened by Montana’s FNG creeping up tentatively to a group of tall men huddled together doing high knees in the dark. The soon to be named Fire in the Hole made the brave decision we all know well to get out of his car and step into the unknown. So, we added a bumper mosey before firing up ol’ Anker with the F3 Grinder 2 playlist for the following grinder:

    Thang: Burpee Timer
    PAX circled up and one man was the timer–while he cranked out 25 burpees, the rest of the PAX did a named exercise until he was done. The idea was that each PAX in turn would ultimately have completed four sets of burpees to total 100. But, YHC wasn’t planning on six PAX, which was a good problem to have. The need to double up toward the end was inevitable, but it worked out fine; just meant less of a break between burpees.
    Exercises for the non-burpeeing PAX were as follows:
    Plank
    LBC’s
    Side shuffle around the concrete pad
    Bear crawl around…
    Squats
    Air presses
    Side Straddle Hops
    Plank Jacks
    Side Lunges
    6 inch hold (legs)
    High knee skip in place
    Big Boy Situps
    T-merkins
    Carioca around…
    X-Factors
    Heel Raises
    Most of these ended up lasting for about two minutes apiece, some longer, some shorter. The combination of Coolio and Irish drinking songs made the time fly and the burpees easy.
    Not really. I’m not sure I ever want to hear “The Night that Patty Murphy Died” again.

    T-claps to Fire in the Hole for completing his first beatdown, including keeping pace with 100 burpees! I had a feeling that firefighter in him would push him through. Here’s hoping he comes back!

    COT and Enron prayed us out.

    2 Year Manniversary of F3 in Thibodaux will be at this Saturday’s beatdown at Peltier Park! 6:30am, and wear a costume (that you don’t mind getting wet). Rain is likely, and I can’t think of anything more F3 than a costumed beatdown in the rain. Coffeeteria will follow, likely under the Pavillion. Let us know on the GroupMe if you can bring anything!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Burplevensies and Humple Pie – from Goose

    Another impromptu Tuesday morning at The Stage meant getting some quality time with Enron and Yankee Joe, and YHC was very much looking forward to that. Though, after crafting the beatdown last night, YHC was not looking forward to the down painment that it would require.
    After a few weeks of coming up with creative ways to get 100 burpees done in every beatdown, YHC still felt like he had some steam for putting together something new. This time, it would be “Burplevensies”.
    After a warmup of the usual (with some verbal wondering if we need to shake things up a bit, then really appreciating the fruits of the exercises we keep doing) including the now-typical mountain climbers and a bumper mosey, we lined up at the grass.

    Thang 1: Burplevensies
    Elevens with burpees on both sides. That’s right, both sides. The total would be 110, but to space things out a bit and add some variety, the transportation (25-ish yards) would change with every round. So, it would go like this:
    -10 burpees, bear crawl, 1 burpee, bear crawl back
    -9, carioca, 2, carioca
    – crab walk
    – nur
    – duck walk
    – side shuffle
    – bunny hop
    – mosey
    – frog hop
    – high-knee skip
    The pre-warmup mumblechatter included conversation about the men who haven’t posted in a while, and it was said about one guy, “I don’t think he ever really got over the hump.” Well, as we were reminded this morning, if we’re doing F3 right, we never really “get over the hump”. We’re always bumping up against our limitations. Pride at our “arrival” or some sort of measure of progress isn’t really doable when it’s always something different and we’re always humbled by having to dig deeper than we pictured. This is why I’m so grateful for F3–because this experience pulls us out of ourselves in a way that makes us strong, united, and joyfully self-deprecating as opposed to proud, isolated, and afraid of failure. Humple pie tastes so good! (Well, maybe not right away.)

    This was followed by a nice, long recovery mosey around Rich Man’s loop (the mumblechatter was minimal due to the need to conserve oxygen) and back to The Stage for about seven minutes of Mary: Wife Pleasers, LBC’s, Leg Raises, Hello Dollys, Nolan Ryans, and Penguins.

    Solid COT and YHC prayed us out. Super grateful for this morning, despite having to take a break on my way up one flight of stairs at the office!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Support Group for JBL – from Goose

    Still on a high from the convergence (and the van ride to and from the convergence) and the promise of a Kilo appearance, a record 8 PAX converged upon The Stage, mostly to console Paradox after what should not be mentioned (again) on record. But, I’ll go ahead and mention it anyway–JBL, in his opportunity of a lifetime performance, came up short. Really short. Thankfully, Coyote was there to make it all worth it and save the Thibodaux PAX’s convergence Q from total disaster, but JBL will never be the same.

    Warmup: the usual plus the pre-burpee mountain climbers, and the feel of 8 men in the circle at The Stage was awesome. YHC allowed some gloves to fall from his pocket instigating questions since there were no coupons in sight. (There was already some suspicion of a potential setup with some deep, devious plan devised by Anker to slowly and methodically break down the competition from within.)

    After the warmup, YHC suggested that all should retrieve gloves from their vehicles, and all were able to do so…blue and white ones…all of them. Burpees in the street was on the menu, and YHC knew that this particular street is a cheese shredder for human flesh.

    The Thang (Part 1) was a mosey around Rich Man’s Loop with 5 burpees EMOM for 10 minutes. Minutes seemed shorter than normal, but all kept up well enough, and 50 burpees were in the books.

    Part 2 consisted of three songs from the F3 Burpeepalooza list created a couple of years back for Make America Burpee Again, and these songs were chosen because they hadn’t yet been used much this year, and because their total burpees added up to 50.

    First: Red Solo Cup–overhead claps for the duration and burpees for every “Cup” and “Up” (total of 25)
    Second: This is Who I Am by Third Day–LBC’s for the duration and burpees for every “This is who I Am” (total of 12)
    Third: Get Back Up Again by Toby Keith (dedicated to JBL)–high knee skips (or “Running Man” skips if you’re Lil’ Cuz, or just trip over yourself if you’re Enron or Montana) for the duration, and burpees for every “Get Back Up Again” (total of 13)

    Part 3 was a 7 of Diamonds/4 Corners–add an exercise at every corner
    1. 7 merkins
    2. 7 merkins, 14 Bonnie Blairs
    3. The above plus 21 Big Boy Situps
    4. The above plus 28 Monkey Humpers
    The legs were done by the second corner, but all powered through with minimal grumbling.

    Part 4: Speed and Agility
    1. Sprint to the sidewalk and Nur back
    2. Carioca there and back (Also known as “Staring into One Another’s Eyes While Dancing”)
    3. Side shuffle there and back
    4. Bunny Hop there and mosey back (YHC was impressed by the effort on this one)

    Mary (IC): Freddy Merc x 31, Leg Raises x 15

    COT and Paradox prayed us out. Thanks for making it 8 STRONG this morning! It was awesome to have Kilo back and to offer prayers and camaraderie for his first day at the new job! And only six more days of burpees!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Battle to the Death, and Burpees Won – from Goose

    It was a unique morning as Tuesdays are currently in a bit of a transition stage. YHC was not looking forward to two mornings in a row of non-beatdown burpee hundos, and Enron was antsy after fartsacking yesterday, so we decided to do a full-scale beatdown at The Stage. It was chilly as we distracted ourselves with conversation waiting for 5:45 to roll around (just in case anyone else might have trickled in). Pope was in attendance for the first time since flag football season started, and he was grateful to get moving since he’s got less natural insulation.

    After a warmup of the usual with the Burptober mountain climbers included and a bumper mosey, The Thang was revealed:

    It would be a three way game of Battle (or “War” if you’re a communist) using the Deck of Death. This, of course, wouldn’t get us to our 100 burpees, so we committed to stopping and doing 5 burpees every time a car passed through the lot.
    At first, each card was as challenging as would be expected, and the car traffic was low. The high cards were often face cards, which meant 25 of most things, which was a good workout. After the upper body was beginning to burn a bit, Enron won a round with the Queen of Burpees, and things began to shift rapidly. At first, there was verbal thanks that this particular card meant it would be less likely that we’d have to finish with a load of burpees to make it to 100. Then, a car passed…and another, which meant 25 burpees was now 35 burpees. Subconsciously, all three of us labeled that as the likely pinnacle of the beatdown and remarked that it was the most burpees each of us had ever done in a row without stopping. Proud and glad it was over, we went back to the deck to continue the game.

    Pride would turn to humility, however, as YHC decided to change the rules so that the lowest card won–I figured we were getting stuck with all the high-rep exercises and may be missing out on some variation. This quickly led to the victory of the 3 of Hearts, the 300 meter sprint, the second worst card in the deck (second only to the 400 meter sprint). Not only that, but it had tied with another 3, which meant two other cards had to be added to break the tie–they were the 200 meter sprint and 16 Bonnie Blairs. Things weren’t looking great for the PAX facing these three cards at the end of what was already a relatively grueling beatdown, and we had already reached our goal of 100 burpees, which meant the legs were pretty shot.
    But, we slowly lined up (to sprint to the bumper and then back around to the Stop sign), and YHC reluctantly coughed out that fateful word: “begin”. The legs were jelly upon arrival at the bumper, and we still had 200 meters to go. Letting go of everything but the present moment, we pushed on to the Stop sign only to be greeted by three cars. 15 burpees later, we lined up for the 200 meter sprint but were greeted by 3 more cars. After another 15, one more car got us to 140 burpees total, and 6:30am on YHC’s watch never looked so good.

    After COT and prayer, Enron decided to add some reps of squatting card pickers, but underestimated the difficulty of that particular exercise and had to let Pope finish the set. (Those suckers are slick.)

    YHC still doesn’t regret the decision to hit The Stage this morning despite being sore from Yankee’s Flora-block-burner yesterday. Tomorrow will be a day of rest (hopefully), and Enron will utilize Thursday to give us one more tune up before our showing at the NOLA convergence on Saturday. YHC is hopeful that the consecutive challenging beatdowns along with a few weeks of 100 burpees a day will give us what we need to make yet another strong statement that F3 Thibodaux is on the map!

  • Burpee: A History – from Paradox

    Several days ago one of YHC’s 2.0’s observed what has become a nightly routine: walking the dog in the backyard while attempting 100 burpees. This is for our monthly PAX challenge (ISI: Make America Burpee Again). As 2.0s are known to do, YHCs daughter asked a deeply philosophical question “sooo why’s it called a burpee?”. YHC had no clue and was pushed into a deep rabbit hole dive of how our beloved exercise came to be. 6 wikipedia pages, 4 clickbait articles and 1 ad for headbands later YHC had unearthed an incredible tale. YHC knew the only path forward was to convert this into a beatdown to share with my Thibodaux brethren. If our Thibodaux Pax truly wanted to complete the Burptober challenge, then we needed to know the burpee inside and out. Know its function, feel its form and at the end of a 45 minute beatdown , be able to select burpee variations like fine wines. The lesson plan was set, the classroom prepped, and 5 PAX cut through the gloom of the Stage for a standard issue Paradoxian History lesson.

    Warmup: The usual suspects SSH, Windmill, IW, AC, Self-Love with a little added mumble chatter from Goose about pre cadence variations but this was countered with a bumper mosey.

    Thang 1
    Royal Huddleston Burpee was born in 1897 in NY. He joined the Navy during the beginning of World War 1 and while aboard a navy ship for several months developed a knack for creating challenging body weight exercises one could accomplish in small spaces.

    JBL played Drunken Sailor while PAX held plank with merkins on “Wayyyy Up” and “Drunken Sailor”. Of note: several Pax applauded JBLs ability to transport them mentally and emotionally into the scene of the music. This did not go over well with other bluetooth speaker providers but we wont name names. T-claps to JBL for rising above the chatter, I know you see those haters on every block, put on the Hater shades and don’t look back.

    After his service in the war, Mr. Burpee continued to pursue his passion in exercise physiology, receiving a PHD from Columbia University in 1939. His doctoral thesis focused on several bodyweight exercises that could serve as health indicators for the average person. One of these was the Front Leaning Rest. What we know today as the burpee. Of note his original move did not include a push up or squat.

    Pax completed 4 original burpees (no merkin or jump yet) with a sprint to the sidewalk followed by 19 bobby hurleys , 39 SSH and 4 more original burpees.

    By 1942 the US military needed a fitness test to prepare young men heading into World War II. By this time the burpee had increased in popularity in local gyms and was the perfect fit for this exam. It was used as a marker of physical readiness if a solder could complete between 15-30 original burpees (no pushup or jump) in a 20 second period.
    To honor this benchmark Pax completed amrap burpees in 20 seconds followed by Broad jump burpees , 20 WW2 sit-ups, and a another 20 second amrap burpee.

    After WW2 the burpee cemented itself as the king of bodyweight workouts and the rest is history. The burpee variations flowed freely for decades and although its unknown when the merkin and jump were added, the original “front leaning rest” plus a merkin at the bottom and a jump at the top are the accepted regular burpee we know and love to hate.

    Thang 2

    Next exercise: Deconstructed burpees in 7 of diamonds format
    Pax completed 7 squats, 14 thrusters, 21 merkins and 28 jump squats. This looked slightly easier on paper and YHC could feel the silent hatred as we reached 28 jump squats. Your quads will thank me later.

    A few 10 counts later we commemorated the “millions of burpee variations”. YHC introduced some of the PAX to a little Burpeepalooza jam called Peaches by Presidents of the United States of America. Millions of Peaches…peaches for free. Completed 27 burpees.

    Took the pax on a rich man’s loop mosey hike that involved a different 5 rep set of burpee variations on each light pole. We completed:
    5 double merkin burpees- two merkins at the bottom of the burpee
    5 double thrust burpees- two thrusts at the bottom
    5 Bearpees- burpee and start 4 count bear crawl then finish jump
    5 Bropees – double high five with a partner at the top of a burpee. Lets pause here for a breakdown…

    **YHC took the solo role and watched the synchronized beauty that was Yankee and Cardinal perform a perfect tempo 5 bropees. This could be due to Cardinals priestly ability to meet anyone on there level but also theres an investigation into Yankee Joes weekend breakdancing career. Reports to follow.

    In sharp contrast, Enron and Goose appear to be nearing couples counseling as they could not distinguish who was leading the tango. Was Goose still flustered from the JBL compliments?? Very likely. But YHC is putting this one in the “Enron has a scary lack of rhythm” file…. ….it’s a large file.

    5 star jump burpees- burpee with star jump at the end

    A nice mosey back to the flag for the finisher.

    Only one way to finish this one.
    You knew it was coming.
    At the end of the day, the burpee is about getting knocked down and getting back up again.
    We completed 16 burpees during Chumbawumba’s “ Tubthumping” and YHC called it at 6:15.

    COT and Cardinal Prayed us out.

    Great effort today men, we are well on our way to being fine connoisseurs of all things burpee.

    Thank you to Dr. Royal H. Burpee for your service to our country and your great gift of the Burpee.

    SYITG
    Paradox

  • NFL Combine with Special Guest: Fracsac! – from Goose

    As the PAX trickled in at the Peltch on Saturday, the discussion centered on how dark it was and would be for the next few weeks until the time changed. Six was the number at 6:30, and as warmups prepping for the likelihood of many burpees were coming to a close, one of the newer guys said, “Who’s that dude?” YHC turned to see a hairy man emerging from the gloom dressed all in black. The newer PAX were confused to see a strange quinquagenarian sidle up to the circle already wearing a Thibodaux F3 shirt and Mudgear shorts, but the rest of us were trying to process the fact that our regional leader, Fracsac, had just shown up out of the darkness to post at our humble, bayou AO!

    After some additional grass-grabbers (with the clap–thanks, Frac!), we grabbed a few footballs and moseyed to the ED White football field. The theme of the day would be the NFL Combine, but in our situation, since none of us would be breaking any records or impressing any NFL coaches (except for maybe Wet Tap), YHC decided to focus on mental toughness–the guy you really want is the guy who can perform in the fourth quarter, exhausted from busting it all game, with the same intensity as in the opening drive. And, since this month is “Burptober” for the Thibodaux PAX (ISI: 100 burpees a day), burpees would play a significant role in getting us there.

    For each round, partners would measure each other’s performance in an event, then all would do 10 burpees and immediately do the event again. Whoever didn’t match or beat their initial performance after the 10 burpees had to plank or Al Gore until the start of the next event.

    Events:
    1. 40 yard dash (partner timed)
    2. Broad jump–from the goal line
    3. “Bench press” = hand release Merkins to failure–once rhythm breaks due to fatigue (utter failure for all)
    4. Shuttle run–start at goal line, run and touch 10 yard line and back 2x
    5. Vertical leap–against the adjacent building, marking height on brick lines
    6. Pass accuracy–partner at the 20 yard line, can’t move his feet
    7. Catch on the run–post/slant right after running to the 10 yard line
    8. Pass distance–from the goal line, as far as you can
    9. Fumble chase–bear crawl to the 30 yard line for time
    10. Touchdown dance–AMRAP Apollo Onos for 1 minute

    Some of these events may or may not be included in the actual NFL combine, but being on such a nice field with bright lines on spongy, fake turf made us feel like it didn’t matter (because clearly none of us belonged out there–except maybe Wet Tap).

    Leg exhaustion and lack of oxygen can make it easy to forget that burpees are a serious core exercise. But, after asking Fracsac to lead Mary back at the flag, we were reminded very quickly. YHC doesn’t remember 15 IC reps of the following ever being so hard: American Hammers, tin snips with arms high, flutter kicks with arms high, windshield wipers, LBC’s, Lazy Boyz, and Big Boi Situps.

    COT and Paradox prayed us out. We got some news and some insights from Fracsac’s veteran leadership, and we solidified plans to clown-car up to Audubon Park for the convergence on the 22nd.
    Thanks, gents, for pushing so hard this morning, and thanks, Fracsac, for making the effort to find us! It was an awesome morning!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • PAX vs the Kraken – from Paradox

    IPC Week 5

    6 PAX boarded the pirate ship today to defend our turf against the mighty Kraken.
    After warmup and a discussion about new exercises we dove in.
    (check the F3 Greenwood site for a full IPC 5 breakdown)

    Goose and Wet Tap came out the gates hard and fast slashing tentacles and setting an impressive pace. Wet Taps ability to merge his hands with a 40 lb cinderblock and make it look like a pillow is becoming a thing of legends. YHC and Enron anchored the middle crew with loads of peer pressure and using the buddy system to complete Bonnies Blair’s and Jungle Boi’s. It was clear Enron was regretting those 2 pre-Thang Burpees but he eventually got to 102 on the day if we are keeping the Cardinal Burpee Venmo fund accurate. At this point the Kraken was staggering from our blows but still hammering us with the relentless emom Kraken burpees. What the Kraken didn’t know was that we had saved our 2-man secret weapon for the final death blow. Superfun(d) and Montana got the boat to ramming speed with a tremendous push on rounds 4 and 5 to put a spear though the Kraken heart.

    Great performance as a group to all finish under 45 minutes.

    Wisdom was provided by Captain Goose and 40 burpees were completed during the Kraken victory feast.

    COT and Enron (on 2 liters of oxygen) prayed us out.

    Respect to F3 Greenwood for putting us through the ringer this month and even more respect to our new guys SuperFun(d) and Lil Cuz for starting this wild ride in September.

    The IPC month has been a humbling experience, but iron has definitely been sharpened with the Thibodaux Pax.

    SYITG
    Paradox

  • “But Coach Siri, My Quads, My Hammies…” – from Goose

    YHC pulled up to see Enron doing burpees out by the highway, waving at cars and showing them on his fingers the number of reps he had done. It didn’t take him long to tell me that he had done 25 already, and after my questioning the wisdom of trying to chip away at the daily 100 before knowing what the beatdown had in store, he said, “Well, I mean, surely there won’t be more than 75 burpees.” YHC just shrugged and said, “Don’t call me Shirley.”

    After a warmup of the usual (backs were tight) with some additional mountain climbers to get the burpee muscles warm(er), YHC announced 11’s: burpees at the stage and Big Boi Situps at the opposite sidewalk, nur there and run back.
    Yankee, Joe was immediately overcome at the idea of running through the sprinklers and involuntarily sprinted to the minivan. Upon arriving, he regained his senses and began to reflect on the shaming he would endure and the potential name change if he peeled out of there at that moment, so he gathered himself and moseyed back mumbling something about needing to change his shoes. The sprinklers weren’t too much of a problem, though some added a couple hundred extra yards of nurring in an effort to avoid wet pants.

    After a nice, long recovery mosey, it was time to kill the rest of those burpees with a 5 minute EMOM of 10 burpees (10 burpees every minute, on the minute for 5 minutes = 50 burpees). It had been a while since YHC had included a burpee EMOM, and I couldn’t remember who was there and who had joined since then. That became very clear, however, after minute three as the usual shock to the system that comes from a new routine being much, much harder than it looks on paper began to set into most of the PAX. (YHC has since decided to wait until closer to the end of the month to introduce the more traditional 10 minute EMOM.).

    After enough oxygen seemed to be circulating through most of the PAX’s cardiovascular systems, it was time to move on to the virtual Dice of Doom inspired by Paradox’s amazing, homemade dice, revealed on Saturday. For this one, we would use Siri (“Hey, Siri, roll the dice.”). Siri, as we know, is just a mindless computer generating random numbers, but my phone is set to Irish Siri, who, as we discovered this morning, is a very different person. She seems to be much more interested in a no pain, no gain, relentless punishment, disciplinary sort of approach, and it seems she has a thing for Bonnie Blair, who may have Irish ancestry. Maybe Siri was preparing us for Krakken Thursday (there were a lot of merkins, too). Maybe she could feel Yankee Joe, Enron and Paradox getting proud of their physiques after this past month’s shenanigans and felt the need to inject some good old fashion humility. Or, maybe she could feel Montana’s potential exploding through the roof, and wanted to fully capitalize on his ability to grow right now. Or, maybe she could feel his head swelling after Paradox shared his unfiltered admiration for his newly muscled backside. Either way, not even YHC, with Q-drenaline running heavy, could keep his composure during the brutality that Coach Siri delivered.
    The first dice was the number of reps x5 (so. 1=5, 2=10, etc.), and the second dice gave us the exercise:
    1=merkins (ended up with 50 in a row)
    2=squats (only once x15)
    3=wife pleasers (not nearly enough)
    4=mountain climbers (a little more than enough)
    5=LBC’s (never happened)
    6=Bonnie Blairs (60 in a row at one point, 2 is 1)

    COT and Yankee Joe prayed us out (thanks, bro).

    We completed a total of 105 Burpee‘s during the beatdown, and with Enron’s extra 25, some ideas were thrown about creating a burpee trust fund for Cardinal with the use of some sort of Venmo-type app for sharing and distribution.
    It was clear that Yankee Joe’s emotional disturbance and flight instinct hadn’t fully left him as he nearly took out a few neighborhood cars trying to escape the parking lot. But the mumblechatter later in the morning on the ISI channel proved that he is still very much in the game.

    Heckuva job, fellas, and thanks for joining me in what was a killer push this morning. Love being connected with you guys at our weakest and at our strongest.

    SYITG,
    Goose