F3 New Orleans

Tag: Goose

  • The beatdown to Bethlehem – from Enron

    After Tuesday’s (#tuesdaytuff) cardio heavy beatdown, YHC was ready for some slower, heavier movements, or just not ready for any more cardio. It seemed to be the perfect timing for a themed beatdown that had been drawn up the night prior with the help of a much more creative wife. The stage was set as YHC pulled up to a much familiar look of a minivan awaiting the arrival of more PAX. Yankee Joe was ready as usual. As 4 more PAX arrived in the gloom, we had plenty of pre-thang time to discuss the many schisms that have been dividing the Thibodaux PAX for decades, OK, well maybe just the past 6 months. This mumble chatter did not slow down as the warmups began, and YHC decided it would be a good time to test his newly acquired (thanks Goose) pre-cadence call. This did not go over well with about half of the group while the other half took it in stride, hence the building of a divide. We quickly learned, or were directed to, who was the leader of pre-mentioned schisms. The usually ultra-quiet and very reserved in his words, Paradox, has decided to form groups on each side… again. Goose, in all his wisdom, informed us that Cardinal (on IR) also enjoy the great divides of this PAX, but is a “seeker of truth” and is always looking for the “correct” side to be on. Although, JBL, #whoopteam, “starting position, in cadence, ready position move” (or however it goes), #Tuesdaytuff (ok twice is enough); will always be the right side.

    Warmup with waaaay too much chatter in between, to where YHC had no idea what number we were on:

    SSH, AC, Cherry Pickers, Windmills, Grass Grabbers, Self-Love, IW, bumper mosey

    The Thang: Journey to Bethlehem

    After reading an extensive amount of information on many different Christmas topics, a theme was finally coming to light. We tend to read in the Bible the journey to Bethlehem every year but how often is it discussed just how dangerous and difficult that journey had to be. The trip was approximately 90 miles between Nazareth and Bethlehem that would have taken place most likely over 10 days (leaving December 15th to be perfect for the beatdown). A pregnant Mary, and husband Joseph traveled all of this distance, outside, while moving through the Jordan river, through the hills of Jerusalem, and battling animals, potential sickness, and weather the entire time. This is how the following was developed.

    We picked up coupons and moseyed to the beginning of rich mans loop, where approximately 15 light poles are spaced about 40 yards apart.

    YHC instructed the PAX that there would be 3 alternating methods of carrying the coupon between the poles as follows:

    Mary- carry at stomach height, as if pregnant
    Joseph- On the shoulder, as if carrying wineskins filled with water
    Donkey – Rifle carry as if you were the donkey and carrying Mary

    Each light post would have a “hazard” of which Mary and Joseph could have encountered that included an exercise. Most exercises were performed OYO except for a couple. The following were performed at each light pole with the alternating carry methods (Mary, Joseph, Donkey) in between. The slower carry between had plenty of time to discuss just how tuff #tuesdaytuff (last time) was, especially without Paradox.

    Light Pole “obstacles/hazards”:
    Walk through the Jordan River – 10 Bonnie Blairs (the hard way)
    Climb the hills outside Jerusalem – 20 Mountain climbers – in cadence
    Tame your donkey – 10 Jack ass Webbs- this was a burpee but with a donkey kick during the thruster
    Be strong enough to fight off animals #1 – 25 Merkins
    Sleep on your back on the ground – 25 coupon presses
    Lift Mary on the donkey – 30 squats (no coupon)
    Fight off more animals – 30 coupon curls
    Carry the water overhead – 15 OHP
    Outrun the animals – Sprint with coupon
    Move through the jungle/heavily forested Jordan Valley – 15 Jungle Boy Squats
    Wear your big boy pants – 20 Big Boys
    Battle Sickness – 15 Burpees
    Hold the weight of the world on your shoulders – 10 Perfect Merkins
    Give God the glory – 25 Heals to Heaven
    Turned away at the Inn – Run to next light pole (this light pole was out making the reference perfect)
    Have baby Jesus! – 50 LBCs

    Thang 2: Song
    “Jingle Bell Rock” – Hold Al Gore for duration and squat on Jingle
    This made the PAX looks like whack-a-mole moles with how many “jingles” there were and how uncoordinated we can look at times.

    2 minutes of Mary with Freddie Mercury’s and Penguins

    COT and Goose prayed us out. Thanks for the laughs to go along with this one. I hate to admit it but the mumble chatter only added to the fun. As always, enjoyed being in the gloom with these guys.

  • Superfun(d)elight – from Goose

    After Tana’s block-buster 13 Days of/till Christmas yesterday, YHC knew we needed to take it easy on the big, heavy movements, which usually translates into a lot more running. Per usual, YHC didn’t think this one would be a memory maker, but was happy to be proven wrong.
    Warmups of the usual with the addition of some Hairy Rockettes (straight leg out to opposite hand extended off to one side, then switch to the other) to loosen up the hammies. As expected, Enron executed these with poise and precision. Yankee Joe shared some unusually deep knowledge about life as a real Rockette, which threatened to throw YHC into a rabbit hole of questions, but I held strong and the first Thang was explained:

    To Superfun(d)’s delight we started with a Merkin Mile, which reminded him of his first beatdown, the IPC titled “Death by Skinny Runner”. The fact that he’s still coming after that first experience remains one F3 Thibodaux’s unsolved mysteries, and PAX’s admiration for that superhuman resolve runs deep!
    A Merkin Mile is a mile with stops for 25 merkins every quarter mile. YHC used the Runkeeper app, one of many that will audibly tell you when you’ve reached certain distances, times, etc. A pre-beatdown toilet visit provided YHC the opportunity for tinkering with the app, which revealed the option for the voice to be changed to “Boston fan” among others. So, in honor of Yankee Joe, I chose that one, and it did not disappoint. (It started by telling us to “Put on ya big girl pants, and lets get that heart (“haht”) rate up!”). The first 25 merkins weren’t too bad, but the last three were much harder than the PAX expected–I remembered being surprised by this one when I first did it on the Northshore, but truth be told, stacking up sets of 25 merkins is no joke.

    The next Thang would provide no escape from having to traverse long distances. (Sorry, Superfun(d)!)()( We slow moseyed (walked) to the stop sign over toward the bumper for a nice, long set of 11’s. We started in the grass there with 10 squats and then caricoa’ed the length of the parking lot (in the grass) to the other end and did 1 merkin before nurring (running backward) back to the start. Then, rinse and repeat with 9 squats and 2 merkins all the way to 1 squat and 10 merkins.
    As the reader may be picturing, the squats and merkins were very much the only chance to rest. That’s a long way to carioca and nur, and after just 1 or 2 rounds, each of the PAX silently vowed to never allow YHC to Q again. But, for the next 25 minutes there was no escape. So, the only thing left to do was embrace the suck, which these guys did admirably. Yankee Joe stayed with YHC the entire time, which was greatly appreciated. There’s nothing worse than being completely winded all by yourself. Thanks to YJ, YHC had no excuse to take breaks or slow up, and YJ even had enough in him to push YHC’s competition button at the end by nurring backward at top speed with total disregard for that pipe that was sticking up out of the ground. Also, T-claps to Superfun(d) who could’ve easily stopped a round early but refused to take the out.

    Slow moseyed back to the flag with a minute left, did some Freddy-Tana’s to get us to 6:15, and then COT and Superfun(d) prayed us out. Thanks for coming out on a Tuesday morning, fellas, and not wasting a beatdown! The pain and fatigue would be far less meaningful without you!

    SYTIG,
    Goose

  • 12…(13) Days of F3 Christmas – from Wiford Montana

    The pax coming off a strong performance at the peltch on saturday assembled for my 3rd que. This Monday was extra gloomy with fog and humidity rivaling that of mid July. 5:30 hit and we began with only what could be described as “hot garbage” of a cadence. Any confidence from que 2 was flushed like a goose post beatdown “thruster.” We had the usual stuff ending on a bumper mosey but I will be going back to the warm up tutorial video for my next que for sure.
    The Thang was the 12 days of F3 Christmas
    Day 1: lap around the stage track
    Day 2: burpees
    Day 3: merkins
    Day 4: Man Makers
    Day 5: Lunges
    Day 6: plank jacks
    Day 7: mountain climbers
    Day 8: crowd pleasing “thrusters”
    Day 9: LBCs
    Day 10: squats
    Day 11: SSH
    Day 12: Carolina Dry Docks

    After that 12th time around the track YHC can’t articulate what he felt but he knew no matter the faces the pax wanted……no, needed the Truth! Today gentleman is 13 days until Christmas, so alll thru the house not a creature was stirring when YHC announced day 13: BBS
    After that we had 2 minutes left so we got in 100 flutter kicks and Freddy’s till que failure. As I laid full extension on the ground looking up upon the sky, we counted off circle off and circle of Trust, YJ prayed us out
    #13days #thestage

  • Block Treatment (Party) – from Goose

    YHC has had the coupons in the back of his truck all week since Goats needed them on Saturday, Montana on Monday, and Paradox on Thursday. I didn’t feel like unloading them, so it seemed necessary to work them into this morning’s beatdown. The Block Treatment was conceived in YHC’s closet at 10:30pm last night, the only place in the house where a light is allowed, and it was born this morning at 6:30am after a short gestation. There were some, however, who wished that it had never been born, that it would have remained just a twinkle in YHC’s eye.
    After threatening to show the interesting bug bites YHC received during Paradox’s beatdown on Thursday and then thinking better of it, we commenced the usual warmups with the addition of something a little bit new. That’s where the mutinous thoughts began to get a foothold, and they’d continue to fester and grow through the remainder of the beatdown. Shoulder circles aren’t a huge change, but they were awkward enough, especially for our Awkardness Specialist, Enron, to merit some serious mumblechatter and sideways looks, especially from our Sideways Looks Specialist, Cardinal.
    The grumbling really began as YHC directed the PAX to the back of the Goose-Mobile to grab a coupon. We moseyed to the lower field and lined up on the “baseline” by the batter’s fence. Partners were chosen, and while Partner 1 farmer carried both of their coupons (carry two coupons, one in each hand, by your sides, like milk buckets), Partner 2 completed 5 burpees before catching up and and taking over. YHC partnered with Pope to save Paradox from the public humiliation of uneven traps since Pope had a lighter composite block. The coups were farmer carried around a large perimeter, one partner at a time, and since one lap didn’t take very long, YHC decided to add another. The traps and hands were burning nicely through that last stretch, and the PAX was glad for a break and to rest in the bliss of ignorance as to what was coming next.
    What came next was so difficult to understand that it took about five minutes into the exercise for all the PAX to finally get what we were trying to do. Enron was convinced that we were gonna try to make a block bi-locate, and Lil’ Cuz was murder bunnying off into the sunset before things finally settled down. The PAX would Indian Run around the same perimeter, the front man rifle-carrying a coupon, and the back man would run to the middle of the baseline where ANOTHER coupon awaited and murder bunny five steps with it toward the other end of the field (to the Christmas tree lights). Once five murder bunnies were completed, he’d run back to the front of the line and take over the rifle carry. It took a few laps to get the murder bunny block all the way across, and the tracks across the wet grass were unique.
    Speaking of interesting tracks, the next exercise was the ol’ Block and Bear from the baseline to the Christmas tree lights (about 60 yards). Afterward, it looked like a bunch of slugs with legs had been through there, most of whom didn’t know that the quickest way from one point to another is a straight line. And, some looked like they achieved flight a few times.
    EMOM work was next, which was welcomed with thoughts (and noises) of insurrection. Every minute, on the minute for 10 minutes, PAX would complete the following, all with coupon:
    -5 lunges (1:1)
    -5 squats
    -5 rows
    -5 curls
    -5 overhead presses
    -5 tricep presses
    The PAX doubted YHC’s insistence that all this could be done in less than a minute, but the first round provided the necessary vindication. All exercises were completed in less than 40 seconds, giving the PAX about 20 seconds rest between rounds. YHC thought maybe trust in his leadership was being reestablished, but he was mistaken–at around minute 9, it was clear that though the PAX recognized that YHC’s ideas could be done, they doubted whether they should be done. And the next exercise(s) would only cement those doubts in their communal mind.
    PAX were asked to line up with some space between them and lay their blocks long-ways on the ground. Next exercise would be 10 burpee jump-overs–burpees, but jumping sideways over the block instead of straight up in the air. It was tough, and the timing of it toward the end of the beatdown made it just as much of an exercise of will as it was an exercise of lungs and thighs. But we wouldn’t stop there.
    The PAX were then directed to stand their blocks up vertically and do it again. This one came with a pep talk, though, cuz YHC could smell the despair. I couldn’t see everyone, but it seemed that this second, harder round was actually executed with more accuracy and success than the first. Just goes to show…(insert something inspirational).
    This was followed by a mosey back to the flag carrying the coupons. Some runners jogged by, and I heard more “good morning’s” than usual from the PAX–I think I heard more flexing, too.
    We had a solid 8 minutes left for coupon Mary, and this is where YHC lost the PAX for good. Commitments were made to ensure that all Saturdays, at least, were covered so that YHC would have no opportunity to Q again anytime soon. I think some plans were even made to steal and hide the blocks, or maybe use them in Goats’s upcoming chicken coop repair. Well, whatever it takes to fill the Q sheet. Exercises for Mary included:
    -big boys with block on chest
    -wife pleasers with pelvic blocks
    -flutter kicks with block held high in chest press position
    -LBC’s with block on chest
    -box cutters with block held high in chest press position
    -dying cockroaches with block held high in chest press position, rocking it back and forth
    -heels to heaven with block held high in chest press position
    -American Hammers with the block

    COT and Enron prayed us out.
    It was great to be in the gloom with you guys! I could never imagine having a reason to be excited to drive through thick fog at 6:15am, but I definitely was this morning, and it’s because of this crew. Much love for you, gents, and looking forward to all that comes next!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • ADVENTure Wreath – from Paradox

    The season of Advent has a special place in YHCs heart as a time of new family traditions and a much needed reminder of practices that prepare the way for Christ’s presence. YHC could think of no better way to honor this season than with life sized ADVENTure wreath and heavy coupon work. I knew just the HIMs that would take the journey with me. 5 pax rolled in ready for ADVENTure (ok ok I’ve used it twice , I’ll retire it ). The WiseMan Enron continued to have uncanny abilities to observe anything out of place and questioned the flickering candle stationed on our northern horizon. Goose rounded us out with gifts of gold, coupons, myhr and we’ll let’s just say his gloves did not smell of frankincense.

    Standard Warmup with some discussions on Goose genetic traits in all our exercises.

    Rifle Cary to Wreath (open field )
    Classic “Candle on a coupon “setup , check your field guides

    The Thang

    Clear your heart
    Prepare the way

    Cones were scattered about our wreath (4 coupons 25 yards apart in a square) and we needed to clean up before ADVENTuring (last one!, promise ) any further.
    Bearcrawl to a cone, 5 merkins, lunge walk back. Add 5 merkins each round. Many hands make light work and our wreath was sparkling clean in a few minutes.

    Rifle Carry to corner

    Hope candle- Prophecy Candle
    “Hope for Everyone “ Matt Maher (Advent of Christmas , great album)
    Hold coupon chest level w high knees
    Goblet sqat on “Hope “
    Quads got warm and we all Hoped it would end

    Look Up for hope
    Partner up for 100 OHP
    P1 Heels to Heaven
    10 OHP each round then flip flop

    Rifle carry to next cone

    Faith
    Bethlehem candle

    1st corner 1 blockee , 2 donkey kicks , rifle carry …2 Blockee then 4 donkey kicks and increase in that fashion till finishing at 10 DK and 5 blockee
    That was ….something

    Rifle carry to next corner

    Joy
    Sheperd Candle
    Leave the 99 , save the 1
    Start in circle holding plank
    Send 1 pax to the stage for step ups then send another pax to rescue . We did several ab exercises while taking turns rescuing the 1.Left Tana in charge during my rescue and shockingly no pickle pounders were performed. Thats called growth my friends.

    Rifle carry to next corner

    Love /Peace
    Angel candle
    “He Shall Reign Forevermore” Matt Maher (just to confirm, GREAT album)
    Coupon hops And Burpees on Reign
    Killer Rhythm Ronnie, we’ll have you on season 8 of Dancing with Financial Advisors very soon.

    Finished up at the Purity Candle
    With Team Mary
    Wife pleasers, LBCs, flutters
    YHC totally had a speech about it being the feast day of the immaculate conception planned. In my head preBlast it sounded like the hybrid of Mel Gibson Braveheart speech and the the “Win one for the Gipper speech”..But In real time YHCs brain was fried and it was like “hey Mary is awesome let’s do some abs”. It be like dat sometimes.

    Great effort across the board here men.

    COT and Post prayed us out

    Thanks for following me today
    Been a heart heavy month for YHC with some big decisions and obstacles abound . Grateful for you guys and the stability that God provides with our brotherhood.

    SYITG
    PDox
    ◦

  • St. Nick Didn’t Play Around – from Goose

    YHC had put together a St. Nicholas themed beatdown for this warm December 6 morning, but I wasn’t sure who, besides Enron, would show. But, sitting in the parking lot at 5:27, I wondered if even he would show and whether anyone would enjoy the feast. However, faithful to his word, Enron pulled in and YHC assumed it would be a two-man party like the old days, but then the red Superfun(d) mobile pulled in, and the Three Amigos went at it.

    After the Tana-city required to push through yesterday’s beatdown, YHC’s body and will were feeling depleted, but Q-drenaline and a solid theme to distract us provided just what the doctor ordered (from his trusty/pesky drug rep).

    Warmup were the usual suspects, most all the way to 20 reps to work through the stiffness, including high knees and butt kicks.

    The first Thang was preceded by an introduction to the true stories that made St. Nicholas so popular, the main one involving sneaking around town and throwing bags of gold coins into a needy person’s window. So, YHC though it best to start with a reverse 7 of Diamonds, which would include some sneaking through the dark of the early morn and dropping treasures.
    We started the first corner with all four exercises, and at each subsequent corner we dropped one of them (secretly) before sneaking to the next:
    Corner 1 (at the pole by the concrete): 28 OH claps, 21 squats, 14 merkins, 7 burpees, and then bear crawl stealthily down the field to the sidewalk
    Corner 2: 21 squats, 14 merkins, 7 burpees, and crab walk with Cardinal-esque smoothness, mostly, across to the other side of the field.
    Corner 3: 14 merkins, 7 burpees, and Groucho walk (which is sort of like cartoon sneaking) back to the concrete.
    Corner 4: 7 burpees and done with it.

    Thang 2 was a couple of songs about St. Nicholas, the first being “Jolly Old St. Nicholas” performed by Chet Atkins. The exercise was Al Gore for the duration, and turn-around (180) jump squats for every rhyme. YHC didn’t listen to the whole song in preparation, but if I had, I would’ve noticed that there are only four lines sung in the whole 2.5 minute song, so two rhymes total. Chet Atkins was a guitar player, so the song was pretty much a guitar solo interrupted by a couple of women singing a few lines of the classic song. The mostly uninterrupted Al Gore after that long Groucho walk was really something else. But, them boys didn’t complain, and we gladly gave our thighs a break for the next one.

    “St. Nicholas” by Anuna, a Celtic band, is an ancient song sung in Old English asking for St. Nicholas’s intercession for safe passage to Heaven. It only lasted for 1:13, so we held Mission Impossible plank for the duration and pushed up a merkin for every “Santa Nicholas”. The intensity of the music perfectly accented the manly grunts and heavy breathing.

    Then, it was up for a mosey toward Rich Man’s Loop, but we cut up past the townhomes (patio homes?) and did a burpee as we passed every front door, leaving generous gifts of sweat there on the ground for each family to find upon waking.

    Back at the Stage, we climbed to the chimney training ground, up on the stage at the bricks, to work on our form, strength, and dexterity. Started with dips for the gentle, butt first chimney drops (4-count x 15), then Left-leg bulgarian split squats for stepping into and out of the chimney (4-count x 10), Irkins for head first approaches (4-count x 15), Right-leg split squats (4-count x 10), and Derkins for full-on chimney dives (4-count x 15).

    Then, it was back down to the ground for 8 minutes of Mary to work on that famous gut, which may or may not have been a feature of the real St. Nick’s physique. Flutter kicks, penguins, heels to heaven, wife pleasers, J-Lo’s, pickle pounders (so scandalous, yet so effective), crunchy frogs, leg raises, and Freddys.

    COT, solid prayer by Enron, and then The Three Amigos powered out the ever-increasing ISI (sneaky difficulty, starting to really feel it, but grateful for what will soon be some ripped abs if we can lay off the carbs, which is unlikely).

    Thanks, fellas, for the brotherhood this morning!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Drug Rep Death March – from Wiford Montana

    Drug reps are an interesting bunch but none the less the drug rep themed que was requested so I felt I had to go for it. Full disclosure there are plenty of drug reps that need to tone it down as are with any profession (doctors included)
    The “usual” Montana warm up with all over the show cadence and timing. Still working on it but we also threw in some seal jacks with a splash of yankee joe sarcasm centered around my lexicon knowledge or lack of it.
    The bumper mosey was welcomed and then we had returned.
    The drug rep death March was here:
    1st round walk thru together so you compare it to your office jobs, friendly faces, water cooler convos, but after that you were on your own! Alone, just you and your hybrid setting out to clinic who probably doesn’t want to see you to talk about things they don’t want to hear. But this my friends is where the magic begins, you go anyway and hope each and every other drug rep believes that garbage and drives on, blows the horn and hits the gym. Today though men we MARCH!!!!!
    The start 10 BBS
    Station 1 : 10 merkins with bear crawl to next station
    Station 2: we’re not worthys, murder bunnies to next station
    Station 3: 10 curls/ overheads lung to final spot and then 10 lbs
    Highlight was the coffee runs called out at random to get the doctors coffee (run to bumper and do 10 jungle boys) T clap to Dox on sending Yankee back a second time cause he got the order wrong, you had one job joe. Also hilarious was cardinal noticing the typical drug rep/ doctor small talk making the patient wait lol . After the first run thru We repeated the track backwards until 6:09

    6 minutes of pot luck Mary:
    Dox called dolphin hops which turned out to be a crowd pleaser!

    Well done gentlemen and actually o do love my job and the awesome healthcare heros I get to meet everyday, but it is fun too laugh about it once and a while

    #the stage, #goose,#paradox,#yankeejoe, #lilCuz, #fencepost, #cardnal, #montana #2ndque

  • Sir Pax-A-Lot – from Yankee Joe

    The power sub-station is down. It could be hours before power is restored. It typically takes me three hours to write a back blast regardless of quality. My laptop has about an hour of battery life remaining. This will be the biggest challenge of my F3 career. Bring it.

    It is final exam week, and I am desperately treading water in an ocean of incompetent student essays, projects, and presentations. With every group presentation, I further doubt my own competence as an instructor. How did I fail them so completely? From this group of poor victims, comes interactions that make every painful moment worthwhile. I offer some real gems below:

    Presentation Q&A Example 1:

    – YHC: In what ways did Covid-19 impact the supply chain logistics within the automobile industry?

    – Student: Great question. To be honest, we can say that the supply chain was totes jacked up. In fact, I’m pretty sure the expression, “off the chain” came from this issue.

    – (YHC Internal Monologue): Well crap, it was indeed totes jacked up. I know this did not spawn the term, “off the chain”…right? I don’t even know what’s real anymore.
    —————–
    Presentation Q&A Example 2:

    – YHC: You mention that customers in China had trust issues with the company’s distribution channels?

    – Student: Totally. The products were all warehoused in the U.K.

    – YHC: Ok. What was the issue with products being warehoused in the U.K.?

    – Student: I mean, it’s a bunch of college students running the company?

    – (YHC Inner Monologue): Oh…oh no. No, no, no…She thinks that “UK” stands for University of Kentucky. Oh God…what do I do? Keep a straight face, keep a straight face. It’s too late for her. I can’t help. This is not the hill.

    – YHC: GO Wildcats!
    ——————
    Presentation Q&A Example 3 (and my absolute favorite so far):

    – YHC: You talk about the challenges of Starbucks entering the Indian market? Why was market entry so difficult?

    – Student: Well, it seems that they didn’t really have the right equipment and gear.

    – YHC: Explain

    – Student: Well, as you know, the northern border of India has the Himalayan Mountains, which make entering the country really hard.

    – YHC: (stares at student)

    Student: (stares at YHC)

    – YHC: (realize that student isn’t kidding)

    – Student: They’re really high mountains.

    – YHC: (long pause) Welp…sounds good to me! Moving on to the next question.
    ——————-
    What does all this have to do with a beatdown? Per usual, it is a very weak connection, but if I am good at anything, it’s forcing a square peg in a round hole. I use Backblasts for cathartic journaling as much as…well that’s it actually. Does anyone really read these things? If yes, post your favorite meme from The Office.

    7 Pax at the Stage. It’s been awesome as of late. The addition of Fence Post has raised the bar and the regs keep it consistent. Montana’s newly styled Sumo bun is looking on purnt! It was 43 degrees. As mentioned in prior blasts, YHC is not a tough guy when it comes to cold. The wind was blowing. I, with my tights and hooded sweatshirt felt very weak next to Enron in his shorts and short sleeves.
    —————-
    Warmarama
    – SSH – 30 ct until YHC felt some blood moving
    – Windmills that YHC thought were arm circles
    – Grass Grabbers w/ the Clap so YHC could feel like the NOLA PAX
    – Finally, real arm circles, but YHC forgot to call out the exercises
    – Some high knees, some Derricks…maybe (taken from the now famous Enron Re-VQ)
    – And a Mosie

    (now that I’m writing it down, it was pretty much the worst Warmarama since Montana)
    —————-
    ON to the Thangs…No real theme except that YHC misses IPC like the deserts miss the rain.

    The Beatdown: Sir Pax-A-Lot (three-part thang)

    AKA: 30-60’s – 20-40’s – 30-60’s (You’d get it if you had it goin’ like a turbo ‘Vette.)
    —————
    Set up:
    cones in a square of 20-yard sides. PAX moves starts at the lower left corner, then moves to the upper left corner, then diagonally to the lower right corner, then to the top right corner, finally diagonally to the lower left corner.
    ——————
    Round 1: 30 – 60 (transport – bear crawl)
    – 30 merkins
    – 60 arm raises
    – 30 Carolina dry docks
    – 60 seal jacks
    – 400 m run
    ———————-
    Round 2: 20 – 40 (transport – lunge walks)
    – 20 leg thrusters
    – 40 prisoner squats
    – 20 Bonnie Blair’s the hard way 2:1
    – 40 side to sides 1:1
    – 400 m run

    **the Bonnie B’s following the lunges, following the prisoner squats, following the leg thrusters suuuuuucked!
    ———————–
    Round 3: 30 – 60 (transport – crab walk)

    The subordina…er, I mean, chatter really picked up here. Goose had “so many questions” and Cardinal kindly reminded YHC that only 12 minutes remained. Montana announced 4:1 flutters equaled 120 (all by hisself too!). Enron questioned the exercise in general, forgetting the vendetta YHC had on he and Goose from a couple weeks ago…nobody can remember about what though.

    – 30 flutters 4:1
    – 60 low plank leg lifts 1:1
    – 30 Poppin Dollys (hello dolly followed by 90 degree leg lift)
    – 60 J-lo pickle gobblers 1:1 (J-Lo then two pickle pounders = 4 ct)
    – 400 m run

    ** I still can’t figure out how Cardinal so effortlessly glides through a crabwalk. YHC tried to keep up, which resulted in a muddy backside. I think he’s tired of hearing about it. Seriously, just let a playa’ play.
    ———————-
    Not Mary

    – We did something…whatevs…this ain’t even my whole day
    – Lastly, we did three level push-ups (up à quarter merkin hold, up à half merkin hold, up à full merkin hold; same thing down, BUT no hold at the bottom, which was a huge missed opportunity. That said, Enron was doing the wide arm mission impossible to hold the WHOLE DANG time at the bottom. I was very impressed…Enron was very pissed. My B.

    COT

    Goose prayed us out.

    Not my best work fellas, but I appreciate you powering through and raising the bar with every beatdown.

    Ooohh…the power just came on. Time to hear more inspiring presentations.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe

  • Tabata Bout It – from Goose

    Still moping from having missed the Turkey Bowl on Saturday, YHC was looking forward to seeing the PAX this morning and hearing all the details. And, after hearing the details, it only made me more sorry that I missed it. But, camaraderie forged in pain was to be this morning’s gift, and the four PAX who attended were gracious enough to join YHC in the suffering.
    Warmups of the usual with some added hillbillies to burn up some soreness in the hips. Then we were off in and Indian Run around Rich Man’s Loop with the last person doing 5 Apolo Ohno’s before running to the front.
    Upon returning, YHC wasted no time in firing up the Tabata timer (I like the “Smart WOD” app) for 29 rounds of 40 seconds exercising and 20 seconds rest. Many were harder than YHC imagined, and some were a little easier (though not many). The chest was good and fried by the end of it, as were the calves. Background music was nixed in favor of space for mumblechatter, but it ended up being 29 straight minutes of panting and grunting and some jerk constantly telling us we were only halfway there. It was awesome. Here’s the list of exercises:
    1. Line jump w/2 feet (jump side to side over a line in the concrete)
    2. Left foot line jump (dang)
    3. Right foot line jump
    4. Irkins (on the bricks on the stage for this and the next few)
    5. Derkins
    6. Box jumps
    7. Dips
    8. Bonnie Blairs
    9. Big Boy Situps
    10. Calf raises
    11. Backward lunges
    12. Mountain climbers
    13. Merkins
    14. Werkins (wide arm merkins)
    15. Side lunges
    16. Freddy Mercurys
    17. LBC’s
    18. Flutter kicks
    19. Hairy Rockettes (straight leg up to opposite extended hand, to one side, then the other, like the Rockettes)
    20. Diamond merkins
    21. Pickle pounders (low plank, not high–that would be weird)
    22. Carioca (back and forth across the concrete)
    23. Elbow to opposite knee situps
    24. Rocky Balboas (on curb)
    25. Knerkins (merkins on knuckles, a.k.a Chuck Norris merkins)
    26. Plank jacks
    27. Toe taps (high plank, reach through and touch opposite toe)
    28. Crab cakes (opposite of above–crab position, reach up and touch opposite toe in turn)
    29. Carolina dry docks

    Finished at exactly 6:15 for some COT and some heavy prayer intentions for a lot of folks going through some major stuff.
    It was a blessing to be out there with you gents!
    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Butterball Flight School – from Yankee Joe

    First things first. At 11:50 am yesterday, YHC hopped on the phone with Goats in the Machine. In the background, I could hear his 2.0, Sonic, playing. Or at least I thought he was playing. Goats, as the de facto PE coach, was actually running Sonic back and forth across their two acres. “Take another lab, bud. Goood. Yep. Keep going. Keep goingggg. To the tree and back…the far tree way, way over there. Good job.”

    This gave us a few moments to talk. Goats had an idea to raise money from the Pax to purchase a bicycle for a child in need. Better than that, he wanted to bake it into a beatdown. Even better than that, he wanted to take over YHC’s Thursday Q and run his own. Even more betterer than that, this would be his VQ! We got off the phone at 12:03 pm. By 1 pm, he had created his plan and shared it with the Pax. By 1:15pm, he had his Venmo ready. By 1:45 pm, there were enough donations to buy one bike. By 4pm, enough for four bikes, by 7pm enough for 12 bikes, and by 5am this morning, enough for 16 bikes. Y’all when this guy gets an idea, the Southern Goats Express is rolling through and rolling fast. You better get on board or take a powder and kick rocks (aka..get the heck out of the way). After getting a glimpse of his pre-blast VQ, we are in for a deliciously brutal treat!
    ————–

    That’s a tough act to follow, but on to the beatdown.

    A record seven PAX showed up at the Stage. 44 degrees, but the chill factor had ebbed since the day before, so YHC was whining far less audibly. Thanksgiving is a holiday that often gets overshadowed by Christmas (the commercial, Santa version), like an underwhelming opening act to the main event. As such, we often forget to take a moment to be thankful as we head into the true season of celebrating our Savior.

    As my children adorably sang Thanksgiving songs during their Pre-K performance last week, one verse stuck out to me:

    “I’m a little pilgrim on the run, here is my knife and here is my gun. When I go a-hunting, hear my shout – Deer and turkey better watch out!”

    Cute, if not a tad unnerving. I pondered about what the turkey thought about all this? I asked myself, who will speak for the Turkey? I’ll tell you who…the men of F3 Thibodaux. And the only way to do that is to think like a turkey, sound like a turkey, move like a turkey, and fly like a turkey.

    Wait…can turkeys fly? Ahhh…and thus our beatdown was birthed.

    Warmarama with the regs, followed by a bumper mosey.

    Then, YHC began the beatdown with the following beatdown intro:

    “Today, we’re all a bunch of turkeys. But I’m proud of that fact. There are haters everywhere. They say that we’re delicious. They mock us saying gobble gobble. Who even says that? Their kids trace their hands on construction paper and slap some feet on them and say, “Look mommy, I made a turkey.” Like it’s a genuine Turcasso. Sorry kid, your teacher found the turkey hand template online because she’s bored and doesn’t like her job. However, she is worried (or pissed) that you use so much dang Elmer’s glue when all you need is a dot. Just a dot. Seriously. But I digress.

    I could deal with all of this if it weren’t for the worst thing. They say we can’t fly. Bobby Joe and Jessie Pearl call us flightless birds. Flightless! Oh yeah, Bubba Sue, how the hell did I get up in this tree? Well, I say horsefeathers. They think they’re the cat’s pajamas, drinking all that giggle juice. Well, I say they don’t know their onions. Until now, we’ve made a right pig’s ear of things. But that ends now. Today, we will show them a thing or two about a thing or two. We’re going to learn to fly. Welcome to Butterball Flight Academy.”
    ————-
    Lesson 1: Arm and Leg Warm-up
    To the tune of “Learning to Fly” by Tom Petty, these parakeets did:

    – 1st verse – Imperial walkers; Refrain – Merkins
    – 2nd verse – seal jacks; Refrain – Merkins
    – Bridge – chill
    – 3rd verse – squats; Extended refrain – Merkins
    (potential total for 95 merkins)
    ————-
    Lesson 2: Coordination and Flight Training

    – Tie Fighters modified with forward arm circles through lunges
    – Lunge walk to sidewalk (approx. 30 yards)
    – Jungle Boi’s X20 (at this point, YHC was questioning his…well everything)
    – Backward tie fighter mods – BACs during backward lunges to start point
    (half way through, YHC called an audible to change Bonnie Blairs to a 1:1 ratio)
    Bonnie Blairs x20
    ————-
    Lesson 3: You Must Focus. You Must Think Like a Crane, not a Turkey.
    To the tune of “You’re the Best” from Karate Kid (Part 1, of course), these flamingos did:

    – 1st verse – SSH; Refrain – alternating crane kicks
    – 2nd verse – SSH; Refrain – alternating crane kicks
    – Bridge – chill (YHC forgot that we were supposed to be doing speed humpers); Refrain – alternating crane kicks
    – 3rd verse – Arm raises; Refrain – alternating crane kicks
    (By the end, it is impossible to describe whatever the hell any of us were doing. They weren’t crane kicks.)
    ————-
    Intermission: You can only push a bunch of turkeys so far without giving them some reward. So, we took a break and like any good family thanksgiving, we had a pot-luck Mary session. (Poppin Dolly’s were not included.)

    – Montana: V-ups
    – Fence Post: LBC’s (we were all thankful)
    – Kilo: Penguins
    – Goats: Protractor leg raises (20, 45, and 90 degrees) – one of the many advantages of having an engineer in the PAX
    – Goose: Box cutters
    – Enron: I can’t remember. Maybe Big Boy’s? I’m sorry, buddy. I can be such a turkey sometimes.
    – YHC: Flutter kicks – 4 COUNT – but I was actually doing a 5 count. Goose and Enron graciously corrected me. Then I graciously began planning their punishment.

    The Q is not always right, but he is NEVER wrong.
    ————–
    Lesson 4: We Fly!

    – Sprint to sidewalk with tucked wings, intermittently screeching “gobble, gobble.”10 big boys sit ups
    – Nur sprint back with tucked wings
    – Sprint to farthest cone, 10 BBS, Nur sprint back
    – Sprint to second farthest cone, 10 BBS, Nur sprint back
    – Sprint to third farthest cone, 10 BBS, Nur sprint back
    (Thank you Goats and Montana for your enthusiastic gobbling.)
    —————
    Lesson 5: Stabilizers

    Our wings are curved, our tail feathers are straight up, our bones are dense. We are fluffy, not fat. As such, our last lesson dealt with an oft overlooked facet of turkey flight training…stabilizers.

    To the tune of Gobble Gobble (by Matthew West…it’s a good one), these cockatoos engaged in a combination of low plank holds, J-Lo’s (low plank, alternate hips touching ground), and the newest Thibodaux Pax fad, the pickle pounder (low plank with hip thrust down and up).

    Together, the J-Lo’s and the Pickle Pounder are called the ARod’s. But for obvious reasons, this name is no longer appropriate. For the consideration of F3 Thibodaux and Nation, I offer the J-Lo Pickle Gobbler. It’ll catch on.

    – 1st verse – low plank
    – J-Lo on gobble gobbles
    – Refrain – pickle pounders
    – 2nd verse – low plank
    – J-Lo gobble gobbles
    – Extended Refrain – pickle pounders
    (By the end of the extended refrain, Montana, Kilo, and Fence Post were all calling out YHC. I was gassed, flat on the ground, moving my hips from side to side. I believe the term “wounded walrus” was suggested.
    ————–
    Encore! 90 seconds remaining

    YHC deliberated with great pains on which Karate Kid song to use for the Crane Kick lesson. It came down to “You’re the Best” and “Glory of Love.” The former won out by virtue of faster cadence.

    So, to the tune of “Glory of Love,” we held Al Gore for the first verse (about one minute) and ended the last 30 seconds in mission impossible plank. In a vulnerable moment, Goose shared that this was the first song to bring him to tears as a child. I can tell you that YHC has never felt so seen.
    ————–
    COT and YHC prayed us out. As always, I am thankful for F3, the men of the Thibodaux Pax, and most of all the values that we share and espouse to the community. Thank you Goats for bringing those values front and center as we head into this season of gratitude and humility.

    SYITG and Gobble Gobble,

    Turkey Joe