F3 New Orleans

Tag: Goose

  • Fireworks and Infections – from Goats in the Machine

    As I arrived to The Stage YHC was not sure what exact pain and hilarity would ensue. I armed myself with a deck of death and the knowledge of coupons in route. Regardless of what was to come, I was determined to serve anguish with a side of joy.

    I am not sure if it was the wet shoes, soggy, gloves, or the mental prep for Exodus 90; but YHC was in an extremely choleric mood. Unfortunately, the lack of post Beatdown mumble chatter about “strain” from the whoop-gang has made me more vindictive and deceitful. Additionally, I’m starting become convinced that “strain” is what happens after your first cup of coffee is consumed in the morning.

    Warm-o-Rama
    The usually suspects w/ 11 reps for each as to warn the pax of their fate. YHC, had one miscount. All pax are welcome to do 3 backwards arm circles at home.

    Thang 1.1
    11’s coupon curls and tricep extensions. YHC felt it was important to show solidarity with all of the sad clowns and their New Year’s resolutions by working glamor muscles. YJ questioned the sex appeal of triceps. YHC explains the importance of looking swole to the sad clown in the pew behind him when he puts his arm around his M in mass.

    Thang1.2
    3 rounds of Infection. Cardinal showed his crab walk skills once again. Superfund was a shoring sleeper victor.

    Thang 1.3
    Big Bang. Exercises were dictated by deck of death. Paces from the center matches the value of the card pulled.

    Thang 2.1
    11’s coupon overhead press and BBSUs. Mumble chatter was muffled by the 3rd round.

    Thang 2.2
    Big band deck of death again

    Mary with Iron wheel to the finish. Pax stalled with SSH, plank, high knee, back plank, and butt kicks while PAX chose their favorite Marys. YHC noticed a lot of monkey Humper, J-Lo, pickle pounders, and wife pleasers as the wheel turned.

    COT and goose prayed us out.

    Happy Nee year to all. I had a great time with the group of men who showed up in the gloom this morning.

  • After this 1st &10 YHC gives you the rest of the year off! – from Wiford Montana

    YHC was ready to make a splash to close out the year thankful to be a part of F3 Thibodaux. This was my first Peltch que and after a quick consult with my Dr. (POOx) I was ready to launch into the workout. 11 guys showed up, 1 new guy in the mix but new no longer, Welcome Splinter to the PAX!

    Warm up: all the usuals from a Tana warm up which means a total failure to launch and awkward silence and I ask myself why is no one counting… o wait that is suppose to be me. We were loose and ready now.

    Indian Run: all the way around the peltch last man hits 5 meekins as JBL brought the straight smoke with hits from the 70’s

    Ode to Anker: Lil Ed blues song
    2 monkey humper on monkey
    2 bunny hops on rabbit
    1 good morning on lion.
    *Spoiler alert: the monkey ends up eating the rabbit

    1st and a looong 10
    Run to goal and then ladder to every yardage
    10: man makers
    20: burpees
    30: merkins
    40: Thrusters
    50: Big boys
    60: squats
    70: plank jacks
    80: seal jacks
    90: ssh
    100: flutters

    We met back at the 50 to do 50 press ups and curls till I called it. Special t claps to all who got covered in a fair bit of mud and I felt the power from doing this together at each 10. Great job PAX this one in conjunction with the mud was something I have not yet done, only due to the extreme bass and tones of JBL hitting the journey songs pushed us through. Dox and JBL had the prescription we all needed.
    My last act in 2022 as YHC is to give the rest of the year off from F3 beatdowns!
    COT and Enron prayed us out!
    It’s been a year fellas glad to be here with each of you.
    Tana

  • A Taste of Tuesday – from Enron

    The Stage was set with an unexpectedly larger amount of rain than forecasted coming down in the darkness, making it feel necessary to give the PAX that can’t make it to Tuesday’s beatdowns a little taste of what it’s like. Additionally, after missing this week Tuesday Tough beatdown, YHC was ready to step up the action for Thorsday. “Yankee Joe, stop trying to make Thorsday happen, it’s not going to happen”. Anticipation increased upon hearing the night prior that Cardinal would be making his triumphant return to action from injury. And after receiving medical clearance from Paradox’s wife, a new pair of Nike Pegasus’, and listening to him give a 10-minute speech on why we should all be in attendance for the beatdown today, along with some EHing on the Groupme, and side texts. Cardinal … fartsacked. Resulting in disappointment that resonated all the way to Chackbay. Thus, later nominating him for fartsack of the year at the inaugural Thibby awards. In other fartsack discussion, after YHC requested for Paradox to bring JBL, he was nowhere to be found. Resulting in a potential allegiance shift to another speaker along with some last-minute changes to today’s routine. Although it felt like we were missing quite a few familiar faces including the mentioned absences above, the beatdown began with 7 PAX.

    PAX: Goose, Superfun(d), Lil’ Cuz, Paradox, Piccadilly, Fence Post, and much later, Kilo

    Warmup: The usual minus a bumper mosey

    Thang 1:

    The Burpee Mile:

    1 mile run through rich man’s loop stopping every quarter mile. Each stop was the following:

    1) 20 burpees
    2) 15 burpees
    3) 10 burpees
    4) 5 burpees

    The burpee mile was tough enough to make YHC appreciate the rain that was coming down steadily at this point.

    Thang 2:

    DORA 1-2-3

    Partner up and grab 1 coupon per pair:

    100: Partner 1: Overhead presses
    Partner 2 : carioca to the sidewalk and back and flapjack with your partner taking over on the count to 100
    After the first set, Goose (aka the Paxville Grinch), was feeling so strong that he grunted and slammed the coupon to the ground shattering it to pieces, intimidating the remaining PAX before quickly carioca’ing into the dark and rain.
    Next, out of the dark rainy gloom from a vehicle never seen before by any of the PAX, and most likely repossessed from a previous job, Kilo arrived and jumped right into the work.

    200: Partner 1: Coupon Curls
    Partner 2: Nur to the sidewalk and back, flapjack until 200 is reached

    300: Partner 1: SSH
    Partner 2: 1st round – lunge walk down mosey back, round 2 bear crawl down mosey back, rinse and repeat

    Thang 3: This is where a great song was planned on being played but will have to be forced into another beatdown in the future due to the lack of a consistent audio source.

    Thinking quickly, the dice from YHC’s custom F3 Christmas present from his M were presented. Until time was called (about 8 minutes). The PAX alternated rolling the dice while Siri called out random numbers 1-30 for the amounts of the exercise printed on the dice.

    COT and Lil Cuz prayed us out. Thankful for all the guys that came out and toughed it out in the rain this morning.

    SYITG,

    Enron

  • Dream Team – from Goose

    YHC knew it would likely be just me and Lil Cuz at The Stage this morning, and I was looking forward to the opportunity for some QT. Team Fitbit/Team Balding Beard would be getting the upper hand on the rest of the PAX via some Tuesday Toughness!

    Warmups of the usual including some fire hydrants to get the knees and hips firing after yesterday’s monkey humpers.

    We started with a shoulder-tap merkin mile: 15 shoulder-tap merkins every quarter mile for a total of 60. These proved to be plenty challenging, though YHC hasn’t decided if after three straight weeks of it, a variation of the merkin mile will work its way into any future TT (Tuesday Tough) beatdowns.

    In honor of John the Evangelists feast day, we hit some themed four corners around the field. For our theme, we would use the four creatures described in the book of Revelation (written by John), which are assigned to the four Gospel writers.
    1st corner: St. Matthew, represented by an angel/man–7 manmakers
    2nd corner: St. Mark, represented by a lion–7 manmakers and 14 heels to heaven (“lyin’”down”–I couldn’t think of any lion exercises)
    3rd corner: St. Luke, represented by an ox/cow–7 manmakers, 14 heels to heaven, and 21 jump squats (because the cow jumped over the moon…I know).
    4th corner: St. John, represented by an eagle–7 manmakers, 14 heels to heaven, 21 jump squats, and 28 overhead claps (flapping like a big eagle).

    Lil’ Cuz was being patient enough with the stretched theme, so YHC kept it up. John was exiled to the island of Patmos, where he suffered a good bit. We climbed up onto the stage for our island of exile and suffered a good bit via the following (all 4-count, IC, so double the number): 12 irkins, 12 dips, 20 alternating step-ups, 12 dips, and 12 derkins (the count slowed considerably toward the end).

    We climbed back down with eight minutes left for Mary: rotation between upper abs, lower abs, obliques, and lower back.

    Per usual, YHC is a huge fan of Lil’ Cuz’s humble tenacity and perseverance, and his progress is obvious. Thanks for coming out this morning, bro!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • St. Stephen’s Day Murders – from Goose

    It was another frigid morning, this time at The Stage, so Enron wore socks and only Paradox’s eyes were showing through a jungle of F3 logos. YHC was also donning new, post-Christmas Mudgear gear as five total PAX gathered in the icy gloom. YHC arrived two minutes late due to the consequences of poor eating choices the day before combined with ice on the windshield, but the PAX were gracious and coupons were unloaded.

    Warmup–the usuals with some added Peter Parkers to get the outer knees firing and some requested grass grabbers, clap included. There were some typical efforts at insurrection, some Q-testing, but threats of penalty burpees seemed to calm the kiddos down well enough. Bumper mosey rounded us out and we gathered to meet the new kid on the block:

    Oontz is YHC’s new bluetooth speaker, and his efforts at filling the rectangular hole with a triangular prism were tested with an obscure Irish song, a deep cut from the Chieftains Christmas album, The Bells of Dublin. The song, “St. Stephen’s Day Murders”, sung by Elvis Costello, is about the tradition in Ireland of celebrating Christmas with family through the day after Christmas, St. Stephen’s Day, which has its own family rituals, songs, etc. It’s a comedic (hopefully) song about getting tired of having family over, eating and drinking constantly for days, and then deciding to poison them all (in typical dark, Irish fashion). The refrain ends “And it’s nice for the kids, cuz you finally get rid of them, in the St. Stephen’s Day murders.”
    Oontz performed well enough for his size, so YHC will keep him around until the kids inevitably destroy him. For this song the PAX started with side straddle hops and slowly got lower as the song went on–for every “St. Stephen”, we dropped a stage due to poisoning or drunkenness or whatever. After the first–Smurf jacks, the second–plank jacks, the third–chilly jacks (elbow plank jacks). The exercises certainly delivered, and the rest that followed during the explanation of St. Stephen’s martyrdom was welcomed.

    Thang 2:
    A reenactment (of sorts) of St. Stephen’s martyrdom. PAX partnered up for the following:

    1. Partner 1: throwing stones = squat and throw the block down field repeatedly to the sidewalk and rifle cary back. Partner 2: stones to the head = split duty on 100 skull crushers.
    2. Partner 1: lay down cloaks at the feet of Saul (future Paul) = block and bear through the icy grass to the sidewalk and rifle carry back. Partner 2: stones to the body = split duty on 200 chest presses
    3. Partner 1: carry body for funeral, pall bearer style = farmer carry both blocks there and back. Partner 2: praise the Lord and ask for forgiveness for your murderers = split duty on 300 air presses.

    The block and bears were helped by the icy grass with the block sliding easily, but the blocks and the grass were extremely cold, so the hands were struggling. Lil Cuz shoved his hands up Yankee Joe’s rising shirt mid bear crawl to warm them up, so YJ requested penalty burpees, but YHC refused, telling him they needed to work it out between themselves. Typical sibling conflict.

    Thang 3:
    St. Stephen is the ultimate example of the fulfillment of Jesus’ teaching about not preparing your defense ahead of time since the Holy Spirit will give you the words to say. So, instead of preparing exercises for the last 10-15 minutes, we let the Holy Spirit lead us through Enron’s newly minted Dice of Doom. His M, Brooke, knowing his appreciation for F3 and for randomly generated beatdowns, had them custom made! She researched and picked out the exercises and everything. (I think that definitely deserves Thibby consideration.) Although both die have exercises on them, YHC could think of a few different ways to randomly generate rep numbers (one of which could just be to add a regular die to the group and multiply the number x5 or 10), but for this morning, we took the fourth letter of the second exercise and used the alphabetic order number of that letter (A is 1, B is 2, etc.). This led to more than enough burpees and enough monkey humpers to make YHC sore till probably Thursday.

    COT and YJ prayed us out. It was an awesome gift to be out there sweating in the cold with you fellas!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • The Goose Who Stole Paxmas: An Arc of Redemption – from Yankee Joe

    To the Men of F3 Thibodaux,

    There are no words to accurately describe my level of gratitude for each of you. Whether we’ve been together for one beatdown or 50, you have taught me something, and each something has been invaluable. F3 has a term, “IM3,” which is a Man’s statement to the PAX that “I AM THIRD.” The idea of ‘living third’ means that as men, we deliberately place ourselves third behind God and our Community (including our families).

    I know I speak for all of us that NO man makes this commitment with more force and humility than our very own Goose. He is an example, always constant in the storm as well as the gloom, reminding us why we’re doing this. Reminding us about what really matters.

    I also know Goose would immediately say that ALL of us are worthy of the same praise. And I would agree. This is a very special group of men. You are Disciples of Christ, the spiritual leaders for your families. We often use the word, “humility” when describing our experiences together. There is a reason for this. We are, all of us, continually striving to “live third.”

    In a past life when I was coaching high school baseball, I used to say that the scoreboard was a result, not the goal. Back then, it sounded so wise. Heck, I wasn’t much older than the teenagers to whom I was speaking. However, I am amazed how those words ring so very true for me today. I often forget that I am in the best shape of my life. It may have started as the goal, but it has become a casual byproduct of being blessed (truly blessed) to stand next to Men of honor, Men of substance, Men of God, Men like you.

    Merry Christmas to each and each of you and your families.

    May God grant us the courage to always strive to be third.

    SYITG

    Yankee Joe

    ———————————————-

    Warm-up 6:30 – 6:35
    SSHs
    Abe Vigodas (slow windmills)
    Arm circles
    Squats
    Imperial Squat Walkers
    Self Love
    Mosey with coupons to monkey bars with coupons, then drop by slides

    Tribute to Anker 6:35 – 6:42
    0 – 1:00 ish – imperial walkers
    1:00 – 1:45 ish – imperial squat walker
    1:47 – 2:22 – SSH’s
    2:23 – 3:00 – burpees
    3:10 – 4:03 – elbow plank
    4:04 – 5:28 – Bobby Hurleys
    ———————————————–

    Thang 1: Grinch Training Camp 6:45 – 7:00
    (Narration #1)
    Lazy Dora Style at the Monkey Bars
    – P1 does Burp-ups x6
    – P2 LBCs
    – Flapjack
    – Two sets

    Mosey to hill

    Roof Crawling
    – P1 bear crawl to other side of hill; at bottom, 10 derkins; Crawl bear back over hill
    – P2 flutter kicks
    – Flapjack
    – Jungle gym to slides, pick up coupons, head to Paxville
    ————————————————

    Thang 2: The Looting of Paxville 7:00 – 7:15
    (Narration #2)

    House 1
    – 3 sets
    – P1 – WNW x10; P2 holds Al Gore’s
    – Travel – Bears and Blocks

    House 2
    – 3 sets
    – P1 Thrusters x 20; P2 6 inch holds
    – Travel – Murder bunnies

    House 3
    – 3 sets
    – P1 Manmakers x10; P2 Chilcutt Peter Parkers
    – Travel – Lunges (no coupons)
    ———————————————–

    Thang 3: To the Grinch Cave on Top of Mount ‘Tana 7:15 – 7:20
    – P1 carries P2 piggie back (coupons stay by House 3)
    – Flapjack at cones; 4 segments, 2 each per Pax
    ————————————————

    Thang 4: Paxmas came anyway 7:20 – 7:25
    (Narration #3)
    – Sprint back to Paxville
    – Pax mosey to Flag and bring back to Paxville
    – Goose returns presents to the Pax

    COT; Cardinal prayed us out

    Coffeeteria (courtesy of Mrs. Yankee Joe)

    ———————————————–
    BEATDOWN SCRIPT

    Narration #1 How the Goose Stole Paxmas!

    Every Pax down in Paxville liked Christmas a lot
    But the Goose who lived just up the bayou, did not!

    The Goose hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
    Now, please don’t ask why. Only the Cardinal may know the reason.

    It could be because he hated the cold.
    It could be because, like his truck, he was too old.

    But I think that the most likely reason of all
    Was that his heart, like Paradox’s shorts, was two sizes too small.

    But, whatever the reason, his heart or his arthritis ,
    He stood there on Christmas Eve ISI-ing just to spite us.

    He stared down from the Stage with a sour, head tilting view
    At the warm lighted windows along the the Bayou.

    For he knew every Pax down in Paxville below
    Was busy posting obscure GIF’s, especially Yankee Joe.

    He thought of Paradox and his wife she’s a doctor by the way
    He himself claims to be one too, riiight…can crazy come out to play?

    He thought of the drugs Montana be slingin’
    And he shuddered at the cadence that he just ain’t bringin’.

    The Goose remembered the Goats and some random machine
    That dude showed up for a month, never again to be seen.

    Wet Tap was doing goblet squats, cuz that’s what real men did
    He never got the memo that the Jerfing had ended.

    He thought of Lil’ Cuz and that head beyond balding
    He then felt his own head fuzz and well…it was something.

    He considered the Brat and his brother, O’SHEM
    So close to yakking again and again.

    Superfun(d) working his crazy ass shifts;
    Fence Post nailing boards in a line and thinks it’s a gift.

    The Grinchy Goose said good riddance to ‘Ol Paradiddle;
    He’s a drummer, remember…F3 was fourth fiddle.

    He tolerated Kilo and his twelve different ve-HICLES
    He loathed Picadilly’s balls and their subsequent pickles.

    Enron, he mused, seemed to be cursed
    With his lack of rhythm and tendonitis he was constantly nursed.
    But those are just the reasons, second and first
    Ronnie also recruited Yankee Joe – aka EH Thibby Award for the worst.

    Speaking of Yankee and his posts we should block
    Forget the emotion, and just keep the headlock.

    —————————————————–

    Narration #2 The Looting of Paxville

    “And they’re hanging their stockings,” Goose snarled with a sneer.
    “Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”

    Then he growled, with his Goose fingers nervously drumming,
    As he sat on the toilet nervously humming
    At 40, you’re gonna have problems with plumbing.
    Then he said, “I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming!

    “For, tomorrow, I know that all the PAX men
    Will wake bright and early and rush to their den.

    “And then the GroupMe posts! Oh, the posts! posts! posts! posts!
    There’s one thing I hate! It’s all the posts, posts posts!

    “And they’ll mumble! And mumble! And they’ll chatter! Chatter! chatter!

    And the more the Goose thought of this Pax Christmas Chatter,
    The more the Goose thought,

    “Is it me or am I slowly getting fatter?”

    “Why for forty years I’ve put up with it now!
    I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?”

    Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
    The Goose got a wonderful, condescending, head tilting idea!

    “I know just what to do!” The Goose laughed with a frown.
    “I’ll destroy all their dreams with a TuesdayTuff beatdown.”

    “I’ll steal F3 Christmas, there’s no limit to how far I’ll stoop
    I’ll even find a way to tear down that ridiculous, disgraceful Whoop.”

    And he chuckled, and he honked,
    “What a great Goosey trick!
    With this TuesdayTuff Beatdown, I’ll look just like a prick!”
    —————————————————-

    Narration #3 To the Grinch Cave on Top of Mount ‘Tana

    It was quarter of dawn. And the Pax still a-slumber,
    Hangovers en route from Enron and Wet Tap’s Jucifer tumbler.

    He took their presents, their headbands, and even their rucksacks,
    He scoffed at their cadence, lame excuses and fartsacks!

    Ten thousand feet up, up the side of Mount Tana
    He ran like a wild man, he ran, ran, ranna
    On some kind of drugs fueled by AstraZeneca manna.

    “Pooh-pooh to the Pax!” he was goosily humming.
    “They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!

    “They’re just waking up! I know just how they’ll show!
    They’ll lazily hit snooze one time, maye mo’
    And They’ll kick and they’ll yell from ceiling to flo’
    Then they’ll see there’s no Christmas, not even an AO.

    “That’s a noise,” grinned the Grinch, “that I simply must hear!”
    He paused, and the Grinch put a hand to his ear.

    And he did hear a sound rising over the swamp.
    It started out slow, then it started to stomp.

    But this sound wasn’t sad!
    Why, this sound sounded glad!

    What was this incredible sound, sounding deep from the gut,
    Well that’s Paradox’s favorite question, “Turn down for What?”

    Every Pax down in Paxville, the tall and the small,
    Was celebrating a Christmas beatdown – super tight shorts and all!

    He hadn’t stopped Christmas from coming! It came!
    Somehow or other, it came just the same!
    (2.0 ear muffs) After having nine kids, he has only himself to blame.

    And the Grinch, with his grinch feet paced to and fro,
    Stood puzzling and puzzling. “How could it be so?

    It came without coupons! It came without rucksacks!
    It came without backblasts, without gloves, or World Cup facts!”

    He honked and honked till his honker was sore.
    Then the Goose thought of something he hadn’t before.

    Maybe F3 doesn’t come from just beatdowns or a good backblast word.
    Maybe F3, perhaps, means more, like striving to live third!

    And what happened then? Well, in Paxville they say
    That the Goose’s small heart grew three sizes that day!

    From that day forth, Goose built out his legacy;
    Teaching where we stand next to God and community
    Tho his comments on GroupMe are never OMG,
    his words for the Pax are always simply IM3.

    Merry Christmas!

  • The ButtCracker by ThighKowsky – from Paradox

    9 Thursday Thoroughbreds at the Stage to honor Christmas traditions new and old.
    We began with a welcome to 3 of our F3 Katy brothers (ChootEm, Technical, 4/10) and a nice prethang run to orient our DR pax to the AO. I’m confident both 4/10 and Technical would still be running a 8 minute pace if they weren’t stopped for the beatdown. The old guys held a leisurely pace and listened to some inspiring stories about the impact of F3 on the Katy region . Great to hear for our blossoming Thibodaux crew.

    Warm Ups
    Usuals with my new improved cadence.
    The chatter was somewhat suppressed and I was proud of our PAX in pretending for a few minutes to be the consummate professional weekday warriors. No talk about schisms or doo doo pills. No one asked about Moroccan self love and like clockwork Camaro guy serenaded us with a few extra revs of the Hemi. Beautiful PAX harmony.
    We really looked like we had it together!

    Bumper mosey and back to flag.
    .
    With a heavy heart YHC addressed the recent loss of the F3 hero Anker to start the day. I’ll pause here because I hear you mumbling in the back right now Yankee Jeaux . “An Anker memorial presented by JBL??”. “The dirt is barely fresh on his grave “ adds EnRon. But here’s the truth. Like any two red blooded alpha male Bluetooth devices sure JBL and Anker had their differences (primarily sound quality lol jk). But at the end of the day they wanted the same thing: bring the PAX Thunder and squeeze every ounce of effort from their weak human bodies.

    So today we begin anew, with a small black rectangular sized hole in our hearts. We burn the schism that was JBL/Anker and in its ashes a new tradition is born ….

    The official Anker Warmup Song

    My challenge to the pax is to honor Ankers legacy after each warmup with a song to make Anker smile in Bluetooth heaven. Today we began with his all time favorite :
    “ Thunderstruck , AC/DC”
    Tin Soldiers on song and Burpees on all the Thunder.

    We miss you buddy

    On to the THANG

    Christmas tradition @ House Paradox involves an annual trip to view the greatest of ballets (the only one YHC has ever seen)
    The Nutcracker.

    Every year YHC is stunned at the stamina and strength of the ballerinas to perform these world class routines.

    During our recent viewing, visions of sugar plums danced in my head of ways to modify this into an all leg consuming beatdown.

    Today I present to you

    THE BUTTCRACKER
    By ThighKowsky

    Act 1

    Decorate the Tree and dance around it

    Step ups while other Pax Bearcrawl to picnic table
    10 incline merkins bearcrawl back
    Then 10 merkins
    Then 10 derkins
    FlapJack with Partners each round

    The Presentation of gifts
    Each pax roll Purple die
    Rest of PAX do the exercise while pax who rolled runs to the stage for 10 box jumps
    I swear that die has a gift for feeling the body party that is the theme of the day so we did a zillion Squats.

    Presentation of the Nutcracker
    100 thrusters
    Partner 2 run a track lap

    SideNote:
    Lil Cuz is a Thruster Machine , watch out WetTap ! He’s coming for the crown !

    Mouse King vs the Nutcracker
    Two teams
    Grab coupon , Indian Run
    chest carry , last coupon lunges to the front , when he gets to the front he yells “Sugar Plum Fairy “
    This signals two things , 5 goblet sqats from all and last man lunges to front . Go to concrete and Back .

    Def have to tweak this one as YHC miscalculated lunge speed vs sqats speed. Tana questioned the Q game plan and somewhere in an empty clinic a drug rep handout sits idle waiting for signatures. You hate to see that.

    Audible to 10 ballerina sqats and Rifle carry back for Mary .

    Team Mary
    It only took 42 minutes of peace in the wake of Ankers passing for a new new schism to rear its ugly head.
    The clockwise vs counter clockwise debate has risen with Enrons systolic spiking to 200s just thinking about it.

    YHC restored order with classic Dolphin Hops (man I just love those)
    YJ with flutters
    Goose with some ridiculous pickle pounders that always seem to end YHCs beatdowns

    COT and Goose prayed us out

    Thanks to ChootEms crew for rolling in early and pushing us through a run. Great to meet y’all.

    Grateful for the work and opportunity to lead.

    SYITG
    Paradox

  • Tuesday Tough, and the Untimely Death of an F3 Hero – from Goose

    YHC expected only one or two tough guys to show this morning given the weather report and so was excited to see three hardy gentlemen awaiting him at The Stage nervous for what has now been deemed #Tuesday Tough since YHC seems to be the only one Q-ing. (I really think other Q’s are just as hard, but perception is everything. I mean, Enron wears a Mudgear Speedo to every beatdown regardless of how low the temperature is.) I do like a good challenge, though, and no beatdown should be wasted, so the tough get going.

    Warmup: plenty of the usuals plus Hairy Rockettes, high knees and butt kicks to shake of the cold and the tight joints from yesterday. Lots of cadence discussion, and YHC is getting better at using “Starting” rather than “Ready”, but not perfect yet.

    1st Thang:
    With a nod to last week’s Merkin Mile, YHC would use the long run as both a way to both prolong the warmup and keep up the “tough Q” image. This time, instead of 25 merkins every quarter mile, we did 25 jump squats for a total of 100. Not as bad as the merkins, but still tough, and provided some time to chat about modern literature.

    2nd Thang:
    Song: Trans Siberian Orchestra’s “Christmas Eve”, a rock combo of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and “Carol of the Bells”. Each movement was matched with a core exercise, which amounted to lots of flutter kicks, 6-inch holds, Freddies, and lots and lots of Dying Cockroaches. Speaking of dying, it was at this point that Anker died. For the first time, ever. YHC was mildly annoyed but assumed there was a good reason–Anker has been so faithful, ever stalwart even in the midst of criticism, adversity, and overuse. We switched to the phone speaker instead, but YHC would have to look into any underlying issues once we got home.
    This was followed by a Yrevocer Pal (recovery lap running backward), which was a fun way to work dem quads while being distracted by the fear of breaking a bone or two.

    Thang 3:
    We hopped up onto the stage and grabbed some brick for 10 Step-up Merkins–starting in plank position, step up with both hands, irkin, step back down, merkin = 1.
    This was followed by 12 Freak Nasties (dips, 4-count IC), which were a tough follow-up to the step-ups.
    After this, YHC couldn’t skip the opportunity to do push us and keep to the theme with 10 Pu-pets Nikrems (backward Step-Up Merkins). Starting in plank position facing away from the bricks, step each foot up on the bricks, perform a derkin, step back down, merkin = 1. These were something. I was just glad there were no broken toes or noses. Though, we may see these again.
    Another 12 IC Freak Nasties rounded us out and left our arms unable to bend at the elbow anymore without great effort.

    Thang 4:
    The phone speaker did its best to push out another tune, this one a traditional Irish song about the St. Stephen’s Day (Dec. 26) tradition of killing a wren and going from house to house singing to collect money and trinkets (and drinks) for the wren’s funeral. “The Wren in the Furze” by The Chieftains (look it up, it’s a fun song). PAX did Imperial Squat Walkers for the duration, the triceps being the surprising factor (elbows bent, hands behind the head after the previous exercises).

    Finished with 8MOM (8 minutes of Mary) focused on obliques, just cuz, and COT. Yankee prayed us out, grateful for no rain and solid brotherhood. ISI followed–definitely seeing some real progress!

    An update on Anker:
    Upon arriving home, YHC went to plug the charging cable into the port, but noticed that it didn’t fit as smoothly, and the red light of life flickered just once and then no more. After deeper inspection, it became clear that Anker’s time in mission territory amongst the savage natives in YHC’s home had exposed him to some rough handling particularly in the area of the charging port. Because he never complained, YHC had no idea, and he just quietly, faithfully poured himself out to the very end, knowing that he’d never again be able to receive the rejuvenating gift of life from the wall outlet. His last breath was spent doing what he loved most–serving the men of the Thibodaux PAX. He was the original, and he remained humble, faithful, obedient, and capable of pushing quality sound (well enough) through all the arrogant, noisy competitors who came along with something to prove. From Thibodaux Regional to JBL, Bose’, and BAPS, Anker never lost composure and so remained the Anchor of this community. And he will never be forgotten.
    YHC thought about carefully taking him apart to try to replace the port, but to be honest, it wasn’t all that expensive, and I just didn’t feel like it.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Y’allTide Christmas Party – from Lil Cuz

    It was a week before Christmas and all around the Stage, pax gathered for a VQ, some were excited while others were anticipating a History of Lockport theme beatdown. YHC had other plans and felt like a Christmas Party was more in order with a suddenly and uncharacteristically cold Louisiana December morning approached this close to Christmas.
    We started with what quickly became a crowd favorite from another recent VQ (Thanks GOATs for the great idea!) but with one little Christmas change.

    “THE GRINCH” – Play off of Leeroy Jenkins – If any one yells “THE GRINCH” all Pax must sprint to the nearest tree or bush and run back to scare him off from stealing Christmas.
    With the theme laid out and the hidden mini game introduced, the party started albeit with one Pax who had the ever-crucial music and BAPS was running late. My mind went to those lame parties with no music and people just standing around awkwardly waiting to leave and go home.

    Thang 1: Rich Man’s Loop – Christmas Themed Trivia – wrong answer results in 5 Carolina Dry Docks and sprint to next lamp post.

    As we were bout halfway through the Loop I noticed another runner a street away and thought “Man, who is this crazy guy running with us from a distance.” As he approached behind and scared a few Pax, the Music man himself, Yankee Joe, had arrived and the Party was saved. Our next thang was secured and the dancing would begin. No more worries of party goers thinking of an excuse to get home and put their pajamas on.

    Trivia Questions that were asked if anyone wants to ask their families and see if they get better scores than us:

    1. What is the highest grossing Christmas movie of all time?
    a. Home Alone Correct

    2. In “Home Alone”, where are the McCallister’s going on vacation when they leave Kevin behind?
    a. Paris Correct

    3. What is the best-selling Christmas song?
    a. “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby Correct

    4. When do the earliest gingerbread cookie recipes date back to?
    a. 2400 B.C. Incorrect

    5. In what modern-day country was St. Nicholas born in?
    a. Turkey Correct

    6. How many gifts in total were given in “The Twelve Days of Christmas” song?
    a. 364 Incorrect

    7. Three of Santa’s reindeer’s names begin with the letter “D”. What are those names?
    a. Dancer, Dasher, and Donner Correct

    8. What popular Christmas song was actually written for Thanksgiving?
    a. “Jingle Bells” Correct

    9. At what age was St. Nicholas made a Bishop?
    a. 30 years old Incorrect

    10. Name 2 things St. Nicholas is the patron saint of. Incorrect
    a. Sailors
    b. Children
    c. Wolves
    d. Pawnbrokers

    Thang 2: F3 White Elephant – Pax circle up with dice block exercises and the deck of death. Pax select between dice and deck for a random exercise chosen for them by fate. Pax can then either choose to do the exercise or pass it along to another Pax. If passed then you have to choose the other exercise selection method. The chosen pax must complete the exercise while all others do an exercise of YHC’s choosing. Admittedly, YHC ran out of exercises rather quickly and was graciously helped by the circle of Pax. Once the fateful exercise has been completed it moves to the next pax in the circle. We went two rounds as not many were wiling to pass along the harder exercises to others except after Yankee
    decided to slow his pace while the circle was in mission impossible plank. He was promptly paid back by Goose with 20 burpees on his own as our one and only “White Elephant” gift. No others decided to test those waters as it was cold this December morning.

    Thang 3: Louisiana Christmas Sled Race (Wheel Barrel Race): Partner Up for a Wheel Barrel Race across the field and switching barrel on the way back.
    – Punishment for losers are 10 Burpees. Last place adds 5 merkins to burpees. Winner relishes in their breather.

    Congratulations to our Winners!: Yankee Joe And Enron even though Dox and I almost pulled off the upset.

    Last Place was Goose and FencePost with the mumble chatter expected for Losers having a harder punishments.

    10 minutes of Mary to finish this VQ, COT, and Yankee prayed us out.

    F3 has meant a lot to me fellas and I appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you for pushing me harder and making me do things I didn’t expect I can do. I look forward to all future beatdowns and look forward to a day where I too can be #TuesdayTuff.

    SYITG,
    Lil’ Cuz

  • The Chatter Goose: A Lesson in Righteousness – from Yankee Joe

    The important stuff first…

    Major Brat (as always, thank you for your service) had mentioned that he had successfully recruited his brother. At 6:28, there was no sign of him. O brother, where art thou? However, the concern would be misplaced. At 6:29, the brotherly new guy rolled up with blue jeans, sweat pants, hoodie, and a look of skeptical curiosity further raised when the first people to approach him introduced themselves as Goose, Enron, and Yankee Joe. It was then acknowledged that Major had not really told his bro much about F3, which is the way it should be. The FNG would survive the day with undaunted fortitude, never bowing out, and most impressively, not yakking on the beautiful perennial rye grass. He would emerge at the end of the day, rebranded as O’SHEM.

    ———-

    Today was a bit wonky. YHC’s original plan had to be scrapped (it will showcase next Saturday, 12/24) and plan B also ran into logistical challenges. So, at 6:22, as the Pax were arriving, YHC made some significant shifts. 8 Pax repped at the Peltch, which would be perfect for the partnering and teams needed for the morning. The idea was to create a second installment of Paradox’s Turkey Bowl. That…um… did not happen.

    Instead, we would spend the first half of the morning in muscular failure and the second half running a short field Ultimate Burpball game. Or maybe it’s Ultimate Burpee Ball? Ball Burping? Ultimate Burping? Who knows…I’m sure Goose will be MORE than happy to tell you. MORE on that in a moment.

    ———-

    But first, my dear and loyal reader, I want to discuss something of grave importance, and I want to be clear. There is a sickness settling over F3 Thibodaux. It is a sickness that targets Warmarama instructions and proper cadence execution. It burrows deep into the Pax psyche. It manifests itself in gruesome ways. The sickness is real, and I’ve cited the evidence below (Chicago style because the APA are a bunch of nerds).

    For example, with arm circles, some can’t tell the difference between forward and backward (Paradox, 2022). Others don’t even know the difference between arm circles and windmills (YHC, 2022). Still others make singular words like “position” or “cadence” plural and for no good reason (Montana & Goats, 2022). Even when an exercise is successfully communicated, (2.0 eye muffs, please) the actual cadence resembles something like the moment Ace Ventura figures out that Finkle is Einhorn…and of course, Einhorn is Finkle (see Enron et al. 2022). Seven count flutter kicks, 42-count imperial walkers (YHC, 2022), side straddle hops at Mach 2 (Lil’ Cuz, Fence Post & Superfun(d), 2022). Some simply modify every single warmup exercise as they see fit (Cardinal, 2022). It doesn’t end.

    How did this happen?

    When there’s Pax sickness, only one remedy exists. Now hold on a moment. I know what you’re thinking and that remedy is not Paradox’s wife, who, by the way, is a doctor. Paradox is married to a doctor. How cool is that? An actual doctor living in his house. To date, YHC is unclear what Paradox does for a living, but hey, does it really matter? He’s set…his wife is a… DOCTOR!

    No, my friends, the only cure for this type of sickness is a Goose. A big, head tilting, eyebrow raising, low talking Goose. You KNOW the look I’m talking about. The little smirk, saying, “oh, it’s something.” He knows we have gone astray; that we’ve forgotten our roots. He understands all too well that to screw up an Exicon name here, or a cadence rhythm there is a very slippery levy. It could lead to chaos. The next thing you know, we’ll be doing drugs, listening to rock & roll, and dancing. Worst of all, we may abandon our truth to erect a golden icon of Greg Glassman.

    Enough is enough. You schism makers, you modifiers, you fartsackers. You hate the cold. You fear the gloom. Has not Goose shown us the way? Turn not from his tilted head and raised eyebrows. He speaks only truth, and he speaks it…constantly. O, ye of little pecks, look to Proverbs 12:15.

    “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”

    YHC would try to execute the Warmarama in a way that would impress the Pax, follow guidelines, and please Goose.

    Well, I can confidently report that…they weren’t, it didn’t, and he wasn’t.

    ———–

    Warmarama

    YHC: “Ok, it’s 6:30. Side strad…”
    Goose: “Hold on, hold on. Disclaimer for the FNG.”
    (partial and likely misleading disclaimer delivered)

    YHC: “Side Straddle Hops, 1, 2, 3…”
    Goose: “You can’t just go.”
    YHC: “Ok, ok. Position, movements…”
    Goose: “What are you doing?”
    YHC: “Ughhhhh. I don’t even know…”
    (YHC bent over between his knees, then throws Montana under the bus…the pax seems to be in agreement)

    YHC: (finishes warm-up and goes to pick up cones five feet away)
    Goose: (calls an audible and leads the Pax in self love without YHC in the circle)
    YHC: (oh no you didn’t…switches to Plan Freakin’ C)
    YHC: “Self love can’t save you now.”

    __________

    THANG 1: Lazy Seepurb’s (variation of Lazy Dora’s via reverse deconstructed Burpees…get it?)

    Round 1

    Partner 1 – 25 merkins while Partner 2 holds mission impossible plank
    Repeat sets of 25 until 200 (100 ea. per partner)

    Goose head tilt, eyebrow raise to Enron. Enron asked for clarity around the number, 200. It’s cool. I’m coming and Hell’s coming with me. YHC articulated the concept of “Seegah,” which is the noise one makes when attempting to do a merkin, but is only capable of completing a half merkin. Because let’s face it. A second set of 25 merkins following 45 seconds of a mission impossible plank is friggin’ seegah.

    Bear crawl to station #2

    __________

    Round 2

    YHC: “Ok, next set, 25 leg thrusters, which loo….”
    Goose: “Groiners.”
    YHC: “What?”
    Goose: “Those are groiners.”
    YHC: “The IPC Greenwood folks called them leg thrusters.”
    Goose: “They’re wrong.”
    YHC: “Ok, next set – 25 groin thrusters.” (because I’m a mature adult and I DO WHAT I WANT)
    YHC: “Partner 2 holds a low plank unt…”
    Goose: “Elbow plank, but whatever, it’s fi…”
    YHC: “ELBOW PLANK UNTIL YOUR PARTNER IS DONE.”

    Partner 1 – 25 GROINERS; P2 holds ELBOW plank
    Repeat sets of 25 until 200 (100 ea. per partner)
    Crab walk to station #3

    __________

    Round 3

    YHC: “Next, 25 squat jumps, while P2 holds Al Gore.”
    YHC: (Waits for any honking. No honking provided. YHC moves on.)

    Partner 1 – 25 squat jumps; P2 holds al gores
    Repeat sets of 25 until 200 (100 ea. Per partner)

    YHC calls audible that after the first set of 25 squat jumps, three more sets of 10 instead of 25. By this point, most Pax weren’t even getting off the ground.

    __________

    THANG 2: Ultimate Burpball/Burpee Football (ask Goose)

    Ultimate frisbee rules…ish. Coyote and Pope chose teams. Five burpees for a turnover. For touchdowns, the scoring team did five burpees, the opposing team did 10. The amount of burpees for turnovers had to be reduced because by the time the five burpees had been completed, the other team had already scored, which meant 10 more burpees on top of the five. We changed rules for scoring such as the amount of passes needed (i.e. four, then 10).

    The game made movement constant and burpees began to quickly add up (unless you were Coyote). It was nowhere even close to the brilliance of Paradox’s Turkey Bowl, so we’ll let the commish run that show with Enron and Wet Tap moving forward.

    That said, I would be remiss not to highlight the ridiculous skills of Coyote and Pope. Coyote was seemingly everywhere all the time. He would sneak through colliding boulders of middle age to emerge on the sideline, streaking toward the end zone, no defender in sight. No matter where you threw the ball, ‘Yote would catch it…back shoulder, overhead in stride, at his ankles, you name it. Soft hands and scary speed. Pope on the other hand was a relentless force on both sides of the ball. More than once, he hard core stuffed Father Goose in mid-throw. Other times, he traversed the width of the field to show the bright eyed would-be receiver what it felt like to have Marshon Lattimore get up in your grill. Throughout the contest, Goose was relatively quiet, undoubtedly deep in thought about how he kept dropping passes.

    __________

    Mary to the Core

    – J-Lo’s 2:1 x 15
    – Flutter kicks 4:1 x 20
    – Supermans x 20
    – Star V-ups (reverse supermans) x 10
    – J-Lo Pickle Gobblers x 20
    – Blast offs (from standing, 10-count down to deep squat, squat jump on “blast off”)

    Mosey back to flag, COT, and Lil’ Cuz prayed us out.

    Gents, I loved today. The work, the chatter, the athleticism, and the camaraderie make every Q super humbling and a heck of a lot of fun. O’SHEM, we were honored to have you today. We hope you will come join the beautiful chaos.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe

    __________

    P.S. The correct cadence sequence is below. Read it, review it, memorize it, execute it.

    Proper Cadence Sequence:

    “The next exercise is…” [pause] “Side Straddle Hop!” (or name of other exercise)

    “Starting Position…” [pause] “Move!”

    “In Cadence…” [pause] “Exercise!” (begin count 1..2..3)