Tag: Goose

  • No Mercy Struggle – from Lil Cuz

    YHC woke up a little earlier with a little extra excitement, he had been called up to the Big Show, The Peltch. There was talk the night before of Spiderman getting into a blood feud with Cobra Kai and classic 80’s fade away to black with “Candle in the Wind” by Elton John playing in the background. YHC had other plans in mind.

    You see, most of the Thibodaux Pax has started Exodus 90 and this has gotten YHC thinking about the struggle of life and how struggling is always easier with a big group of brothers surrounding you. The perfect song came to mind for a beatdown and the No Mercy Struggle was born.

    Typical Warm-ups with a quickened cadence to prepare everyone and especially YHC for what we were about to undertake: SSH, Windmills, Arm Circles (FW and BW), Cherry Pickers, High Knees and Butt Kicks.

    Thang 1:
    Brother Isaiah – Struggler

    Catalina Wine Mixer for duration of the song and Burpees for every “Struggle; Struggler; Struggling”. This proved to be a great start as this was way harder than anticipated and song was cut at the solo which saved the pax from my approximation of around 45 more burpees. Give or take.

    Thang 2: No Mercy Mile

    Pax begin at mid point of front stretch on a standard track.
    Jog to turn 1
    Bear crawl (1st and 3rd Round), Spiderman Crawl (2nd and 4th Round) to turn 2.
    Jog to mid point on back stretch. Do 25 merkins.
    Jog to turn 3
    Lunge (1st and 3rd Round), Flying Nun(2nd and 4th Round) to turn 4.
    Jog to starting point perform 25 squats.
    Rinse & Repeat three more times.

    The Spiderman Crawls proved to be much harder than I had expected and the pax suffered through a half turn before YHC called back to bear crawl. Great job fellas! YHC did not have the heart to make the pax suffer through another go of it on the 4th round.

    When complete we have bear crawled 400 yards, lunged 400 yards, performed 100 merkins and squats all while completing 1 mile.

    Thang 3:
    Brother Isaiah – Firelight

    Mary Workouts for duration of song called out by YHC:
    – Flutter Kicks
    – Freddie Mercs
    – Dolphin Hops – I can still hear the groans – Those were for you Dox. Get Better! Make sure to ask your wife for a scrip. Given she is a doctor and all .Word is so is your Mother in Law. Dude…how lucky are you!
    – High Plank
    – Low Plank
    – LBC’s to end of the song.

    Mercy has come in a reminder in this song that we are made for something better:

    You come in stillness, when I am helpless
    And show me the love, the Lover who loves me in my brokenness
    I’m just a poor child, but I’m a Father’s son
    And in my weakness, I’m still your chosen one, yeah yeah
    Such a mystery, but it’s my destiny

    Cause I was made for glory, I was made for freedom
    Called to be light and to live in a Kingdom

    To finish we did Potluck Mary while the baseball team looked ever so envious of our struggle and wanting to join the best FREE MEN’S WORKOUT around.

    It was a complete Honor to struggle with you fellas this morning and I thank God everyday for the gift he has given me in you men.

    SYITG,
    Cuz

  • F3 Thibodaux’s Tribute to Cardinal F3 Knoxville – from Yankee Joe

    A few days ago, Goose posted the tragic story of F3 Knoxville’s Cardinal. In his first VQ, Cardinal (Taylor Phelps, 36) collapsed five burpees into the beatdown. Those were his last. He passed away a few hours later. Across the nation and abroad, an outpouring of love, support, money (approx. $108,000), and of course, tribute beatdowns started rolling in. As a journalist, Matt Crossman wrote, “Out of tragedy came a tidal wave of support. Out of grief came a groundswell of grace.”

    If you’ve ever designed a beatdown, you are familiar with the excitement, anxiety, and time that goes into planning each minute; a juggling act, balancing the needs of rigor, creativity, and the safety of the PAX. Designing your VQ is in many ways, a rite of passage. It is a liberating, empowering, and fulfilling experience. To that end, it is no surprise that Cardinal was so excited that he had shared his plans with other PAX as well as his wife, Andrea. In fact, we learned that Andrea even laminated the page he would use for the Q.

    The men of F3 Thibodaux wanted to do their part and offer up our prayers, our pain, and our exhaustion. 5 PAX showed up to the new Lion’s Den AO on crisp 44 degree morning. Following the lead of other PAX, we knelt for a moment of silence after the fifth burpee when Cardinal collapsed. We held that silence for 30 seconds; we could have held it for 30 minutes.

    Indeed, as we were suffering through the second set of 15 burpees (burpees 45 – 60), Goose gave us reminders not to take a break. He said, “Cardinal’s wife doesn’t get to take a break.” We all kicked it into a higher gear.

    To Andrea: If for some remote reason, you ever read this tribute, please know that we are praying for you and your family. We will keep your husband’s memory.

    To Cardinal Junior: We want you to know that the men of F3 Thibodaux stand by you and Evie ALWAYS as your friends and brothers. We stand by your side in the gloom. Keep fighting the good fight.

    Warm-up
    15 Side Straddles Hops, 10 Tempo Merkins, 10 Flutter Kicks Double Count, 10 Little Baby Arm Circles Forward, 10 Little Baby Arm Circles Backward, 10 Hallelujahs, 10 Knoxville Cherry Pickers, 20 sec Sampson Hold, 10 Willie Mays Hayes
    _______________

    The Thang

    5-Burpees
    5-Big Boys
    5-Heels to Heaven
    Run approx 160 meters (from Aslan to Playground and back)
    Repeat set
    (Burpee counter: 10)

    10-Burpees
    10-Little Baby Crunches
    10-Mt. Climbers Double Count
    Run approx 160 meters (from Aslan to Playground and back)
    Repeat set
    (Burpee counter: 30)

    15-Burpees
    15-Air Squats
    15-Freddy Mercury’s
    Run approx 160 meters (from Aslan to Playground and back)
    Repeat set
    (Burpee counter: 60)

    20-Burpees
    Run approx 160 meters (from Aslan to Playground and back)
    Repeat set
    (Burpee counter: 100)

    Rocky Top (version by Nitty Gritty Dirt Band)
    Hillbilly Walkers; burpee for every Rocky Top (18 burpees)
    (Final Burpee counter: 118)

    5MOM

    COT with fist bump and each PAX saying hospital name, age, and Cardinal.

    F3 Thibodaux’s own Cardinal prayed us out.

    Cardinal Knoxville’s M, Andrea posted in response to the deluge of support, “He [Taylor] had been happier than I had seen him in so long when he found you guys. Thank you for making his last days bright.”

    I think we can all relate to this experience and sentiment.

    Make sure to tell your people you love them today.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe

  • Tuesday Two Mile – from Enron

    YHC arrived in the chilly gloom to no awaiting vehicles. Per the prior evenings chatter on the GroupMe, there was no good indication of how many PAX to expect. Thankfully, about 5 minutes before 5:30 a familiar rumble of Goose’s truck’s mud tires came humming down the neighborhood streets. The TuesdayTuff®©™ beatdown began with only Goose and YHC participating. Shortly after there was some back-and-forth chatter about who was expected to be there, when all the sudden that familiar older gentleman in a minivan made his appearance just as the warmups started. Goose and YHC were delighted to add Yankee Joe to the mix of what was planned to be a run-heavy morning.
    Warmup:
    SSH, AC, Cherry Pickers (slow according to Goose), Windmills, Self-Love, IW, Mountain Climbers
    Thang 1: Merkin Mile (25 Merkins every .25 miles while running around rich man’s loop)
    Thang 2: Core Mile (100 LBCs at .25, 75 Freddie Mercury’s at .50, 50 Leg Raises at .75, and 25 BBSU at mile 2)
    Thang 3: ATMs (3 rounds total with 30 squats in between each round)
    15 Alternating shoulder taps (2 is 1)
    10 Tempo Merkins
    10 Merkins

    Finished with 1 quick mosey lap around the stage field before a few minutes of Mary

    Mary:
    YHC decided to add a little friendly competition to the end of the workout today. The winner would get to select what we did next in our Mary session.
    Competition: Who can hold 6 inches the longest.
    After over 2 minutes, Goose was the only survivor left holding his legs in the air. He informed us that to be able to hold for that long you must focus on something entirely different than what you were doing. This did not seem possible to YHC due to the pain and figured this was just another one of Goose’s mind games, no pun intended.
    Finished out with some pickle pounders and J-Lo’s.
    COT and Goose prayed us out. Enjoyed the longer run and the chatter of male vs. female movies, plots, and dialogues along the way.
    SYITG,
    Enron

  • Mario Kart 4 Lyfe – from Paradox

    The year is 1999..
    In your best friends basement you pull the marioKart64 cartridge , give it two puffs inward and reinsert . Rainbow road flashes on the screen and your pulse quickens. Just the perfect amount of sweat on your palms to reduce the D-pad Friction on your thumb. Two hot pockets in the microwave upstairs and you got a Surge in the fridge for just such an occasion.
    Life is good…

    The year is 2008.
    Despite a college physics final in 8 hours that could derail your future career you are locked in a heated Nintendo Wii Mario Kart tournament. A pack of keystone lights awaits the victor.
    Life is good …

    The year is 2023. Your stand in a circle of High Impact Men on a crisp bayou morning and you have the privilege to lead. A pristine life size Mario Kart track awaits 4 Pax.

    Seasons change , presidents come and go but Mario Kart …Mario Kart is forever.

    Warmup
    SSH, IW, WM, GG with the Clap
    AC, cherry picks , MC (I can feel a schism on its way that involves Cardinal removing these from the warmup )

    Bumper mosey

    Anker Tribute

    Day-O by Harry Belafonte
    Sqats – 3 levels on “day “
    Alternate between upper, middle and lower squat hold
    A deeeeep burn sets in on about the 14th day and there are many many more

    The Thang a Lang (it’s funny cus it sounds like dang a lang, ok ok I’ll show myself out )

    *****MARIO KART *****

    5 stations setup on corners of the Track
    3 banana peels and a mystery cube at each
    Flip the cone -pick one , complete exercise , advance with sprint in between.
    Gather 1 coin per Lap
    Most coins per round wins

    LIGHTNING: 7 burpees for all pax except the one ego pulled the card , they advance 2

    Rainbow road -mosey to bumper

    GREEN SHELLS
    Each pax has 1 each with various reps , in round 1 can give out to any pax as they pass.

    Round 1
    10 minutes
    Every one on their own.
    Do what you must to win.

    Goose and Cuz tied for round 1 with 2 coins each after hitting a flurry of Lightning streaks.

    Round 2
    10 minutes
    Pax as a team , try to beat collective goal from round 1 of coins
    Use green shells to help a burdened teammate this round

    We equaled our goal here with significantly more hardships in the rainbow road and thruster departments. Great effort and YHC could feel the concerted efforts to break our goal.

    Peels were as follows :
    Cone 1
    20 merkins
    25 squats
    20 monkey humpers
    ? Card: bearcrawl to 2

    Cone 2
    20 big boys
    20 leg raises
    20 crunchy frogs
    ?card : Lightning

    Cone 3
    20 coupon OHP
    ?card: Rainbow road
    20 thrusters
    20 Coupon swings

    Cone 4
    15 ranger merkins
    50 MC (2 is 1)
    10 burpees
    ?card: lightning

    Cone 5
    10 shoulder tap merkins
    10 jump squats
    ?card : bearcrawl back to 4

    Notes:
    – Back to back to back Lightning in round one equaled about 50 burpee’s sandwiched between moseys #yikes
    – The transferred vengeance of round 1 was palpable when Darth Cardinal handed me 8 body builders and immediately gave Cuz 10 more squats. He blamed Goose and as planned we saw the ugly side of competing only for one’s self: Blame, guilt, wrath , envy .Ya hate to see it.
    – On the flip side in round 2 we saw the fruits of our efforts being for others . The joy on cuzs face as 10 thrusters were taken off his shoulders. Knowing he would advance to help another . Goose even mumbled an apology for hitting another lighting in YHCs face (talk about progress! )

    Wrapped with Mary – 1 round of crunchy frogs

    COT and Cuz prayed us out

    Had a blast this am fellas.
    A physical reminder for YHC too lean fully on Gods limitless strength as we help those in need.

    SYITG
    PDox

    Epilogue

    …The year is 2062,
    Your grandkids just got off the hovercraft school bus excited to tell you they have a retro virtual reality game called “ Mario Kart”.
    They ask if you wanna play and promise to take it easy on you.
    You longingly stare out the window as the pulse quickens.

    You call down to the F3 nursing home to tell the staff you won’t be there for your evening rounds.

    You tell the nurse “Jeaux needs his doo doo pills by 5pm, and if Ronnie gets on a heater he has a separate checking account. Mix Tanas meds with an abita or he won’t take them. Make sure Goose gets to explain paradox to his family visitors or he’ll get cranky . Stop by Cardinals room and drop off the new whoop version 74.0 and tell Cuz they put “prayers “ instead of “good luck “ on the school marquee so he’ll sleep better. “

    “Tell them all I got a lesson to teach the 3.0s”

    YHC grabs the VR headset, cracks his neck and takes a sip of a chilled Surge.

    They never knew what hit em

  • “Yote Time”: written by Coyote – from Goose

    Once we got there, the first thing YHC saw was the dreaded Montana Bun as it was swaying in the chill wind, with its little curl. I couldn’t take my eyes off until Paradox said, “What’s up Yote!” YHC replied, “Where’s the other doc?” and then started the warmups. We did the normal stuff such as Side-straddle-hops and Windmills and Imperial Walkers, but YHC did something special, some “Throw me something misters”, now, everybody liked that, but after a while we started an Indian run with the back person doing five bonnie blaires (2is1) and running to the front of the line all the way to the field. Then we started the fun stuff, we picked partners and YHC told a little story about a guy who was chased by a buffalo, so we set up cones and partner 1 sprinted to the first cone and got passed right when partner 2 sprinted after him as he started to bunny hop to the third cone. Red fish was YHC’s partner, so it was hard to catch him, but YHC got him down, and he had to do five burpees. Then we switched, and YHC got away with it, and Redfish had to do five buffalo kicks. Everybody did it again, and we all moseyed to the chimney and YHC told a story about a guy who purposely got bitten by an alligator snapping turtle, and we set up more cones in a zig-zag pattern, and we bear crawled to each cone. As Goose trampled the pax, we got to the cones and did shoulder taps and then karaoke ran to the cones and did burpees. Redfish and YHC were neck and neck for who would get there first, until he tripped on his own foot, and YHC got there first. After a while, we moseyed to the Thunderdome and did two rings of fire, one with LBC’s and elbow plank jacks to 75. And then we did this song that was a Gaelic song that was turned into a techno song, we did calf jumps to the beat during the refrain and squats during the verses. For four long minuets we jumped and squatted until the song ended and we flopped onto the ground, worn out to the bone. We moseyed to the tennis court and played tennis with a volleyball. While doing exercises, we hit the ball back and forth, every time a person would hit it, that person had to do a burpee, and every time a team got a point, the other team did 5 merkins. We moseyed back to the flag and did the alphabet, and after all 16 people did nameoff, counting 2 FNG’s, YHC went off to the side, and did cooldown exercises. Paradox and Enron didn’t want to leave me hanging, so they came over and did them with YHC, now we have this group called “Cooldowns with Yote”.

  • NEW AO NAMED IN THIBODAUX! / A Transportation Exhibition – from Goats in the Machine

    YHC arrived at the at 5:25 to eight (8) PAX, including and FNG, parked and waiting near the flag poles in front of the Civic Center as instructed. An Additional Pax, Goose, was spotted parking in the wrong location as well displaying a level of tardiness that is typically only seen by YHC. It was latter discovered that he was delayed due to an uncontrollable urge to craft a fudge pop. YHC began the Beatdown with 10 PAX (including myself) at 5:32.

    It was 64 degrees, dry air, and highly saturated grounds. The concrete was still moist and had puddles colleting in low spots from the previous night’s rain.

    Warm-O-Rama
    SSH, Imperial Walkers, Wind Mills, Arm stretching, High Knees, Butt Kicks, Mosey to Basketball Court
    YHC’s cadence was miserable as usual

    THANG 1 – “The Long BLACK Train”
    This THANG was designed with the intention of showcasing various means of F3 Transport. The PAX lined up at mid-court. The Pax used the following methods to transport themselves between mid-court and the bassline in succession: Bear crawls, Lunges, Alligator Merkin Crawl, Crab Walk, and Kicking walks (AKA Waling Ray Finkel). I’m a sucker for a good acronym. During each round and in between “transports” the Pax performed reps of an exercise called by YHC.

    Round 1= BBSU (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)
    Round 2=Squats (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)
    Round 3 =Shoulder Taps (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)
    Round 4 = Burpees (5 reps per transport, 25 total for the round)
    Round 5 = Monkey Humpers (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)

    Pax then did an Indian-Run back to Aslan, a concrete Lion statue, and then to the bottom of the berm at the water reservoir.

    THANG 2 – Price is Right – Kelly Bluebook Used Car Edition
    The PAX separated into two (2) teams. YHC listed a year make and model for a vehicle. The following was assumed: 20k miles, good condition, base model, standard equipment, white exterior color. The team closest to the KBB value with out going over wins the round. The loosing team sprinted up the berm performed 5 burpees and sprinted back. the winning team sprinted up the berm and back. Followed by 3 burpees at the bottom.

    For your reference:
     2015 Honda Acord LX = $13,744
     2016 Mercedes-Benz C Class 300 = $16,633
     2019 Honda Odyssey LX = $22, 751
     2019 Toyota RAV4 LE= $23,026
     2022 Ford XLT Crew Cab = $43,277

    COT

    Count Off & Name-O-Rama : 10 PAX

    Announcements :
    -Coyote Birthday Q @ the Perch on Saturday.
    -Welcome “AOL,” an IT professional
    -The Name of the Civic Center AO was declared “The Lions Den.” This named is derived from the before mentioned concrete statue , Aslan, that happened to be located near our shovel flag. “Narnia” was thrown out as an option, but Mother Goose informed us that is was too juvenile and feminine. @Goose Please look into getting the new AO added to the Backblast Database.

    Intentions: Thanksgiving for Enron’s new 2.5, Family of a deceased neighbor, Extended Family Strife

    Cardinal Prayed us out.

    It was a blast exploring the new AO with these men. YHC can’t wait participate in the creative beatdowns to come!

    Sincerely,
    GITM

  • Sticky Bricks – from Goose

    Four strong for Tuesday Tuff this morning with beautiful weather and the deep desire to get after it. Enron was early, which gave YHC a chance for some QT; then Paradiddle, who can’t resist increasingly difficult physical challenges, pulled in after driving 3.5 hours from Bourg. He was followed shortly by Yankee Joe, who immediately began what has been and will continue to be an endless stream of wife-prompted apologies for arguing with Enron about how his last name is pronounced.

    Warmup of the usual interrupted by giggling over Enron’s witty Hamburglar comment on the GroupMe channel. (Even when Goats does correct a typo, it’s still unintelligible).

    In honor of the last five Tuesdays, we started with a Merkin Mile, but this time we did 10 Spider-Man merkins every quarter mile (pull one knee up in Peter Parker position while simultaneously going down for a merkin, alternate).

    Toward the last quarter mile, the plan was to grab a brick from the ever-present pile near one of the many houses under construction, but YHC’s mind was scrambling for a new plan when we found that the bricks had recently been removed! Disappointment and resignation were just settling in when we came across another brick pile just two houses down. (And there may have been another three or four more that we passed on the way back.) So, we meticulously picked out two bricks apiece, hefting, squeezing, and sniffing them to make sure we got the best ones, and moseyed with them back to the flag to finish the Spidey Merks and give fitting tribute to our fallen comrade.

    Song: “Lady” by Styx.
    YHC shared some intimate information about high school life, which may have included singing this song with my friend at the top of our lungs in his Dodge Neon (with an 8-ball on the stick shift) with tears streaming down our faces and dreams of one day singing this to the woman of our dreams. (I mean, you obviously have practice for something like that.) So, though there wasn’t much singing, we did passionate Side Straddle Hops for the duration of the song and burpees with full feeling for every “Lady”.

    Then, it was time to pick them bricks up and follow YHC to the bumper area for some 7’s (it’s like 11’s…but 7). We found a couple of lines in the street that were far enough apart, and then at one end we started with 6 big boy situps (with bricks), moved via brick-sliders to the other end, 1 squat jump (with bricks), and then walking butterflies with bricks back to the start for 5 situps, etc. The bricks didn’t slide quite as easily as last time, but Enron still managed to sprint-push his, leaving two flaming red streaks behind him. Paradiddle and YHC weren’t too far behind him, but Yankee Joe’s bricks seemed to be a little stickier. He never gave up, though, which was impressive, and we left some awesome tracks that YHC slowly, proudly passed on the way to work this morning. (I almost leaned out my window and flagged the guy behind me down to tell him all about it.)

    We had to get the bricks back to the pile, so it was Indian Run time. While the PAX ran in line, pumping those bricks in Heavy Hand curls, the last guy stopped for three brick burpees before catching up. Once the bricks were deposited, it was regular Indian Run back to the flag for 7MOM (7 minutes of Mary).
    -20 flutters, 50 LBC’s IC, The Alphabet (upper case), static wife pleasers (20 IC), quick-pulsing wife pleasers (waited for a car to get close to execute, 20 IC), and J-Lo’s (20 IC).

    It was an awesome morning, and YHC is super grateful to be joined by men who appreciate the opportunity to suffer and grow together. COT with discussion of Coyote’s Q coming Saturday, and Paradiddle prayed us out. We had some super solid conversation afterward, and YHC left grateful to God for what He’s provided through F3.

    SYTIG,
    Goose

  • Concrete Schoolyard – from Paradox

    What are the greatest rivalries of all time?
    Some come to mind.

    Yankees vs Bo Sox?
    Rocky vs Apollo Creed?
    JBL vs Anker (RIP!)?
    Gandalf vs Saruman?
    Lil Cuz’s Neck vs Gravity?
    Yankee Joe vs Father Time?

    All great.

    But Regardless of the pairing, one thing is always present in a great rivalry.
    High level Competition creates high level performance.

    I could explain …but …really …
    Well, I’d rather just show you.

    10 PAX arrived in a flurry to the concrete schoolyard to test our limits in the spirit of competition. Gorgeous beatdown weather. high 50s. Light breeze.

    WarmUp

    Usuals plus Bumper\Stop mosey.
    Touch the sign or it don’t count.

    Wilfred “place at the table” Montana “ coming in hot to break up mid mosey SLT meeting with YHC and Goose. Ya hate to see that kinda attention seeking behavior early in a Q. but you must persevere.

    Thang 1 – Anker tribute

    Not a day goes by that I don’t think about our Anker being in Bluetooth heaven. Sitting there amongst the clouds listening to sea shanties with no more pain.
    One small portion of his greatness was bringing the best from JBL and teaching him the way of audio torture for the PAX.
    Today we honor him with one of the greatest lyrical battles of the modern age.

    *NSYNC vs Backstreet Boys

    Backstreet Boys “Everybody”

    So we start with 10 burpees to work off with 1 deleted per sic dance move

    Apolo Onos to start during the dance window , flow into IWs

    Burpees on every “Body”

    Like any 8th grade dance the pax were hesitant to start but Goose broke the ice with his patented …Irish jig , it’s something
    Baggins felt the spirit and went for groceries.
    YJ came in hot after provocations with some funk fresh and Goats rounded out with the classic preparation H. Im missing one but im sure it was memorable.
    These brave men bought us 5 burpees.

    Track mosey and oh boy you know what’s next …

    Bye bye bye by Nsync
    Plank on song
    MC on Bye

    Lots of long plank holds so Goose could tell us Justin Timberlakes Dating history.

    The Thang

    Concrete Schoolyard

    Rules

    -Split PAX into 1s and 2s
    -Everyone gets one piece of chalk
    -the object of the game is to put points in the opposing teams “goal “ which is a chalk circle on the concrete
    ⁃ you can only do this by completing the base exercise then sprinting to the goal. This results in 1 point.
    ⁃ Scattered in the field of battle are “extra points “ you could add to your base score (see below)
    ⁃ A round will be timed, when time is called we tally points

    Coupons 10 OHP- 2 points
    10 Med Ball Slam- 2 points
    60 jump rope – 2 points
    Kettle Bell swing -2 points
    Ole Hickory – 5 points

    Winner savors 5 SSH
    Loser eats 5 burpees

    Round 1
    5 minutes on the clock
    10 merkins at base

    Round 2
    5 minutes
    10 Bonnie Blair’s at base

    Lightning Round 3
    2 minutes on clock
    5 Burpees at base

    Team 1
    Tana, Cardinal , YJ , lil cuz , Smooth operator

    Team 2
    Baggins, Superfund, Goose, goats , YHC

    Alot to unpack here and I’m sure validity of points and timing will be debated for decades to come but at one point in the middle of the beautiful madness YHC stopped mid Merkin to soak it all in …

    I saw a Goose sliding to secure ole hickory, shouldering his burden as our most fit pax by selflessly accepting thrusters….I saw Tana looking for every workable angle to gather intel for his crew. I saw smooth operator grab a cinder and wonder what the hell he got himself into….I saw a priest use his body as a shield against an enemy …I saw a master hobbit dashing there and back again from Bonnie Blair’s to ole hickory like he was back in the Shire….I saw Cuz and SuperFund lead with quiet strength. I saw men who forgot they came to exercise and elevated their limits for others.

    Every pax alive in the haze of battle
    Ignited with the fuel of competition.

    I saw a beautiful thing and I for one am grateful to be a part of it.

    Already working on Volume 2.

    COT and Superfund prayed us out
    Praying for Enrons family and
    Baby Little Itch

    SYITG
    PDox

  • HIIT Me With Your Best Shot (Part 1) – from Yankee Joe

    An incredible 10 PAX hiit The Stage on a brisk, gloomy Thursday morning. When preparing for the beatdown, YHC struggled with themes and/or purposeful routines that would best serve the PAX. Every time I got close to hiiting on an idea, I would hiit a brick wall. It was frustrating. As of late, with all of the talk of TuesdayTuff and Thursday Thoroughbred, and Saturday Samsonite (Samsonite? I was wayyyy off), YHC was unsure of where the spirit of F3 Thibodaux was heading. It felt like something was missing. Don’t get me wrong…I think our PAX is hiiting on all cylinders, but personally, I was missing something. Then, while doing interval sprint training for the marathon I’ll never run, it hiit me. If you haven’t figured it out by now, you should probably go hiit the Dad Joke chat rooms on the world wide web.

    Still nothing? For the love of Goats…YHC needed more workouts known as high intensity interval training or HIIT. These workouts consist of “climbing” the hill with slower, more powerful aerobic exercises, followed by multiple, all out maximum effort “sprints” for a short duration of time. With aerobic (meaning, “with air”) workouts, we can supply enough oxygen for our bodies to produce the energy needed. Anaerobic (literally, “without air”) requires energy production without the necessary supply of oxygen. This is why we can only do these all out “sprints” for short durations, generally less than two minutes. With aerobic exercises, demand matches supply. That is, the oxygen needed matches the oxygen provided. With anaerobic exercises, the supply does not come close to matching demand. Gone, but not forgotten, John Maynard Keynes. Boom goes the dynamite.

    ANNNYYway, this is partly due to my most recent cult membership, Whoop. Perhaps, I’m in better shape, but beatdowns are barely getting me above a “strain” of 8. I have no idea if that actually means anything, but the Whoop app then tells me, “going above 16.6 will promote fitness gains.” I’m like, “promote fitness gains?!? I just freakin’ nurred a mile and tossed a cinder block 73 feet, all while pretending that “Lil Jon” is a visionary lyricist.

    In the words of Peter Griffin, “that’s enough, Nickleback.” YHC decided it’s time for the F3 “Herman Munster. I’m taking it back like Robin Locksley, rockin’ from countryside to spots where hard rocks be.”

    I often wonder if these Pax know how it feels
    to dedicate their whole lives to these abs of steel.
    It’s not about the guns,
    that’s not keepin’ it real.
    A lot of yoked up bros, they ain’t got no zeal.

    I say, let’s take it back to the concrete crews,
    original beatdowns with hard ass Q’s.
    With Paradox tactics, no Montana farting sack tricks.
    Like YHC yak sick,
    just keepin’ it Goose-y-tastic.

    I’m not trying to say my beatdowns are better than yours.
    I’m just on some other Stage.
    I’m all about the planks and the cadence.
    So when I deal it, you get snarky.
    The vibe is energized by my tadpoles being larky.

    Thanks for the cadence, Jurassic 5… (see Concrete Schoolyard…and you’re welcome)

    ANNNYYway, yes, yes, I created a HIIT beatdown is what I’m trying to say.

    We started out with a typical warm-up, adding in some additional broga stretches (i.e cat-cow’s) because it was going to get nasty. However, for YHC, the most unnerving element of the warm-up wasn’t the snarky 9 PAX around me. It was that those 9 snarky PAX around me weren’t talkin’ smack. There was virtually no mumblechatter. YHC even encouraged it to no avail. Did they know? Did they feel what was coming? Did they not care? Or worst of all, did they not think YHC could handle the chatter? It threw me off my game to be honest. YHC was just grateful to have Fencepost as a partner throughout. My guy has crazy, stoic strength and never seems to even breathe hard.

    ———————————–

    That said, we moved into a pre-thang of:

    – 100 SSH’s (I’m now realizing how inconsiderate of me this was re: Enron’s ankle…penalty burpees for me)

    – 15 triple merkin, triple squat jump burpees (inspired by Steve via Goose)

    – 4 P2J2s (alternative name: Piccadilly Dilly’s) – pickle pounders (x4), peter parkers (x4), j-los (x4), jacks of the plank variety (x4) = 1 rep

    – Recovery bumper mosey

    Still no audible chatter, save the affirming gut chuckle from Goose when the triple merkin, triple squat jump burpees were rolled out. Even Cardinal was seemingly kind and tolerant of YHC’s misplaced anger issues. I mean, seriously, I appreciate the genius of John Cleese and the Month Python crew, but you invest nearly two hours anxiously anticipating the discovery of the Holy Grail. Then, the fourth wall is obliterated and the suspension of disbelief succumbs to a sad and cheeky death.

    ————————————

    HIIT Thang #1 (We only made it through one thang. The sequel coming to a Peltch near you.)

    – Partner 1 did 25 goblet squats, while P2 held Al Gore; Flapjack
    – Partner 1 – Murder bunny to sidewalk (40 yards-ish), while P2 ‘zombie plank crawled’ alongside P1 (This was BRUTAL. Elbows, knees, hips, ankles, pelvic regions all screaming in terror)
    – 50 Bonnie Blair’s 1:1 at sidewalk, both partners together

    – Partner 2 – Murder bunny to sidewalk (40 yards-ish), while P1 ‘zombie plank crawled’ alongside P1 back to Stage
    – 25 imperial squat walkers 1:1, both partners together

    —————————————-

    Then, 30 sec speed intervals (as many reps as possible in 30 seconds)

    – Groiners
    – Squat jumps
    – Mountain climbers
    – Bobby Hurley’s
    – Recovery pyramid suicides (5 yards, 15, 25, 40, 25, 15, 5)
    – 400 meter fast mosey

    —————————————

    Mary Bolt’s
    5 minutes; 30 sec speed intervals (get it…ab work…sprints…Mary…Bolt…oh nevermind)

    – LBCs
    – Flutters
    – LBCs
    – Hello Dolly’s
    – LBCs
    – Pickle pounders
    – J-Lo’s

    COT and Lil’ Cuz’s neck prayed us out.

    Doing the exercises is one thing. Going after it like each of you did today is a whole ‘nother level. Thank you for raising the bar for me every beatdown.

    SYITG,

    IM3 – Yankee Joe

  • 12 Days of Christmas: Vintage Steve – from Goose

    YHC was looking forward to some quality time with Yankee Joe and Enron this morning, but not to the beatdown itself. It was decided late last night that we’d be reaching back a couple of years to YHC’s most memorable experience of a 12 Days of Christmas beatdown. It was 2020, and YHC was still getting worked over solo in my driveway by the likes of Steve, Hawg, Catfish, etc. via backblasts from stuff they had done the day before. This one particular beatdown stuck in my memory because it was so brutal (per usual), so anytime the opportunity for a 12 Days of Christmas/Fitmas comes up, this one’s unfortunately on the forefront so I had to get it out. I figured these two HIMs would be up for it.

    After a warmup of the usuals with some mountain climbers (pre-burpees) and some intense self-loves (pre-merkin overload), YHC explained the particular character of Steve (Northshore PAX) and his beatdowns. Steve is extremely humble and cheerful, and he genuinely cares about the men he’s leading, but his beatdowns are notorious for how sneakily they completely destroy you. Every time. This morning would be no different.

    Per the usual 12 Days of Christmas style, we started with Day 1’s exercise and then added each additional day in cumulative fashion. Here’s the list:
    * Day 1: 1x Burpee
    * Day 2: 2x Merkins
    * Day 3: 3x Triple Jump Squat Burpees
    * Day 4: 4x Monkey Humpers (4-count, IC)
    * Day 5: 5x Sister Mary Katherine’s (2 is 1)
    * Day 6: 6x Triple Merkin Burpees
    * Day 7: 7x Sit-Ups
    * Day 8: 8x T-Merkins
    * Day 9: 9x Groiners
    * Day 10: 10x Crunchy Frogs (4-count, IC)
    * Day 11: 11x Freak Nasties (4-count, IC)
    * Day 12: 12x Derkins

    The sneakiness comes in the fact that the first four or five seem somewhat doable and fun, but after the sixth is added and each PAX begins to realize how many times we actually have to go through this list, panic begins to set in: Are we really going to make it to 12 days? How many times can I actually do 6 triple-merkin burpees without completely giving out? Is the Q going to give more than one 10-count between days? How can I hide if there are only three PAX here? Is this punishment for patting myself on the back this past week for being “really in shape”? Is Steve a real person? Is Goose a real person? Am I a real person? Does pain ever really end? Have I ever really been happy? Do my family and friends know that I’m just a little boy inside trying to survive? Which would win in a fight, a polar bear or a grizzly bear? Why are there so many baking competition shows? Why do I have nipples?

    After pushing through what felt like an impossible twelfth day, we took a couple of ten counts before moseying to the Stop sign and back and completing seven minutes of Mary. This included flutter kicks, wife pleasers, hello dollies, Freddy Mercuries, dying cockroaches, The Alphabet, and LBC’s (oscillated between upper abs and lower abs).

    COT and Enron prayed us out. It was a gift to be pushed so hard with these men. Thanks for seeing the value in it, fellas!
    SYITG,
    Goose