F3 New Orleans

Tag: Goose

  • Better together – from Safety Valve

    Today was the day. IPC week 3 on a Saturday morning at the Peltch. On paper it seemed a daunting task. But that’s just life isn’t it. Sometimes it’s sweet and a breeze. Sometimes it’s tougher than we think we can deal with and overwhelming. Looking back on challenging times in my own life, in the heat of the moment, it seemed as if YHC would never make it through. Now in retrospect, YHC made it through those tough times because of the people that surrounded me. The same can be said about week 3 IPC.

    After a short mosey to the tennis court at the Peltch, and some mild confusion for Diddle, we began.

    Warmaramma
    Side straddle hops
    Imperial walkers
    Mountain climbers
    High knees
    Butt kicks
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles backward
    Cherry pickers

    The Thang

    Round 1
    10 merkins
    15 thrusters
    20 merkins
    25 thrusters
    30 merkins

    400 meter run

    Round 2
    10 thrusters
    15 v ups
    20 thrusters
    25 v ups
    30 thrusters

    400 meter run

    Round 3
    10 v ups
    15 jungle bois
    20 v ups
    25 jungle bois
    30 v ups

    400 meter run

    Round 4
    10 jungle bois
    15 blockees
    20 jungle bois
    25 blockees
    30 jungle bois

    400 meter run

    Round 5
    10 blockees
    15 Merkins
    20 blockees
    25 merkins
    30 blockees

    400 meter run

    When time was called at the usual 7:30, three of the pax finished in the 45 minute window. Big shout out to Diddle, pope and goose. The rest of the pax were struggling somewhere in round 5, inevitably working through the never ending blockees. YHC felt like anything beyond round 3 would be impressive. This group blew it out of the water. Yankee Jeaux kept us on pace and every time we saw him hold back that vomit, it was more motivation to keep going.

    At the end of it all, Cardinal showed up in the most glorious way… with coffee and donuts. Even with a thumb out of commission, he couldn’t resist the F3 fellowship. He seemed very upset about missing out on the 100 reps of thrusters. So blessed to have a post IPC hang out and refreshment time.

    We circled up, offered prayers to those in need, Cardinal prayed us out and we dug into the donuts and coffee.

    Back to the tough times in life YHC eluded to earlier… Before starting on this F3 journey merely 50 days ago, YHC would have never thought of doing 100 merkins. That would have seemed ridiculous, let alone 100 thrusters with a cinder block. Now it seems nothing but normal for a Saturday morning. I owe this change and higher mental strength to the F3 Thibodaux PAX. When these workouts seem unfathomable, we look to the guy to the left and right that are going through the same pain. It’s the only motivation that’s needed. So, when life gets tough and seems impossible, surround yourselves with good people. Look to your right and left, they will get you through whatever hell is happening. Tough times will never last and life will be sweet again.

  • The BDE Mile: Fruit of the Sea – from Yankee Joe

    Saturday, September 16th, 2023 marked the third week of IPC – The BDE Mile.

    Today, for no particular reason, we decided to go for a little run.

    So, after warmarama, we ran to the end of The Peltch, and when we got there, we thought maybe we’d run to the gate of the EDW football field.

    And when we got there, we thought maybe we’d just run around the track.

    Now, thinking since we’d run this far, we would add in five BDE burpees after each lap. And since we’d done that, maybe we’d just run another lap. And since we’d done this already, we thought, “Why not add in five BDE Merkins?”

    Now, looking at the routine we’d created, maybe we would just repeat that routine for 45 minutes…nonstop.

    And that’s what we did. We ran clear around the track for 45 minutes, alternating between BDE burpees and BDE merkins.

    No particular reason. We just kept on going.

    We ran clear around the track. And when we got there, we figured since we’d gone this far, we might as well turn the corner and just keep on going.

    And when we finished another lap and completed our BDE exercise, we figured since we’d gone this far, we might as well just keep right on going.

    When we got tired, YHC complained…a lot.

    When we got slow, we were lapped by Paradiddle, Goose, Pope, and Enron. Several times.

    When we started crumbling, Popeye found four extra running gears, smiling the whole way.

    When we needed a boost, Jack B Nimble offered high fives and Tractor danced us into Elysium.

    When we needed to know how much time was left, Duke asked on our behalf.

    When we were struggling to put one foot in front of the other, Safety Valve talked us through the pain with his calming, cool side of the pillow, voice.

    When we got into our own heads, Lil’ Cuz recounted scenes from Malcolm in the Middle.

    When he had to drop a deuce, Smooth…you know…dropped one.

    We just felt like runnin’.

    For some reason, what we were doing seemed to make sense to us.

    Papa Goose always said, “Put your ass behind you before you can move on.” And I think that’s what our running was all about.

    We had run for forty-five minutes and zero seconds.

    Then we said, “We’re pretty tired. We think we’ll go home now.”

    And just like that, our runnin’ days was over…well until Honeysuckle’s VQ.

    COT and Lil’ Cuz in The Middle prayed us out.

    Gentlemen, today was a whole different brand of suck. It never gets old how when this group gathers together, we achieve something that would be dang near impossible on our own. I can’t count how many times I wanted to quit this morning in a fit of childish tantrums. In those stupid moments, Smooth Operator would, with ear to ear smirk, tell you to stop making excuses. Then he would gleefully point out that wearing his Hawaiian shorts was perfect since he was living the dream in paradise every day. The ROI on this free men’s workout is off the charts.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Jeaux

    ————————————
    IPC Week #3 – The BDE Mile

    Format
    – 45min AMRAP
    – 400-meter track with 100-meter increments clearly visible

    The Thang
    – The workout begins when the timer starts
    – 400-meter lap
    – 5 BDE burpees
    – 400-meter lap
    – 5 BDE merkins (AKA – hand-release prisoner merkins)
    Hand release merkin to Peter Parker to the right elbow to hand release merkin to Peter Parker to the left elbow to hand release merkin

    Repeat until time is called.

    Scoring
    – Total number of meters rounded down to the closest 100 when time is called
    – For example, if time is called and you are between 880 and 890 meters, your score is 800 meters

    Top Scores:

    – Paradiddle – 17 laps (6,800 meters)
    – Goose and Pope – 16 laps (6,400 meters)
    – Enron – 15 laps (6,000 meters)

  • Dilly-Dilly Dog – from Goose

    A Dilly-Dilly Dog is a hot dog inside of a hollowed out pickle, on a stick, dipped in cornmeal batter, and fried. A video of the process of inserting said hot dog into a hollowed out pickle may be considered disturbing or for other reasons not suitable for a professional environment. However, it provided the perfect metaphor for this morning’s fun: pickleball, but with some meat inserted into the middle of it.

    After warming up, we grabbed Picadilly’s pickleball gear and moseyed to the courts. And, after failing to figure out how to turn on the lights, YHC decided on doubles on the far court since there was at least some light there. This worked out nicely given there were exactly 8 PAX in attendance.

    While four PAX played doubles pickleball, the other four took a lap around the building (about 1/4 mile). Then, they switched and the players then became the runners, but whoever was losing at the time of the switch had to do 5 BDE Burpees (burpee plus a Goosie) before starting their lap. This changed to BDE Merkins about halfway through. A tie meant both teams had to get their BDE on (dictionary of your choosing).

    Each group ended up running about four laps, and the pickleball competition heated up as time went on and the PAX got used to it. Dilly still had his way with the opposition, threading the needle and putting unreturnable spin on the ball, but Pope figured out how the paddle worked, and YHC eventually found the SLAM button on the controller to give he and French Horn a little harder of a time. Popeye Sampras and YJ Agassi seemed to have some trouble with AB Nadal and Enron Federer, but competitive rage slowly evened the playing field as time went on.

    At about 5:59, we reluctantly stopped mid-game and moseyed back to the flag for COT and YJ prayed us out. A good time was had by all, and we got some more running and BDE-ing in pre-Saturday. Looking forward to it! Thanks for playing along, fellas!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • “Okay” – from Goose

    YHC had already hinted to the PAX that there might be some running today, but they showed up anyway. It clearly goes to show that these fellas value the brotherhood and the shared experience of pain more than they want to avoid the grind. It was great to see a packed parking lot when we pulled up!
    After a much needed warmup that was quieter than normal without Poox, YHC intro’d the BDE Burpee mile, a solid prep for Saturday. Most had not yet watched the pre-blast video, so the burpee combined with a Goosie was a bit jarring. Smooth’s consistent “Okay” was joined by a few other “Yeah, alright”s. The plan was to run the mile loop stopping at every quarter for three BDE Burpees. (What does BDE stand for? Suburban dictionary says: “Busy Day Everyday” with a coffee cup emoji. Not sure how that applies here.) At every stop, the PAX would wait for the six by doing core exercises until they arrived: 1st was flutter kicks, 2nd was LBC’s, 3rd was Freddy’s, and 4th was Big Boys. Impressively, there wasn’t much waiting, even though one or two of the guys had been out for a while, and though BDE burpees are complicated, they got done smoothly enough.
    Paradiddle and Tana busted it for the last quarter mile, but YHC hung back a little with Enron–the Q knew what was to come. And, what was to come after the last set of BDE Burpees was another BDE mile, this time with merkins. And, again, we got a solid “Okay” from Smooth and similar responses from the rest. YHC knew that many of these dudes were more gassed than they wanted to be and were just grateful that the running was over, but there was no grunts of exasperation or moans of self-pity to be heard. And, though it took a few more flutters and Freddys for Seal Team 6 to pull into each stop, it was clear that they and the rest of this crew were here for it this morning, come what may. Even Dumbledore, who quietly sprained his ankle at the start of the second mile, stayed back and did BDE merkins until we returned instead of just rolling out like many others might.
    The 3 BDE Merkins (merkin + Peter-Parker leg left + merkin + Peter Parke leg right + merkin = 1) at each stop had the pecs a little warm, but not burnt, so with the last 7 minutes, burn them we did.
    The song was “Running on Empty” by Jackson Brown (Honeysuckle = consistency), and we were in plank formation (or something like that) for the duration with merkins for every “running”. The concrete was well moistened by the end, and YHC asked if anyone could guess how long the song was. Enron quickly shouted “4:47!” The song was 4:50 long. Did he time it on his watch? No, that would be ridiculous and pointless. So, YHC can only conclude that he has assistants at home with computers and headsets listening to the mics he’s got planted around the AO and ready to research any question that might be offered by a Q and whisper an answer into his earpiece (along with funny name suggestions for FNG’s). French Horn and Honeysuckle clearly use the same method during trivia beatdowns. Cardinal is looking into it.
    The two minutes remaining were filled with Crunchy Frogs and Wife Pleasers. COT, hype for Honeysuckle’s VQ Thursday, prayer intentions, and Popeye prayed us out. Proud to be a part of this crew.
    SYITG,
    Goose
    P.S. It was only after YHC got home that I remembered that BDE merkins are all Hand-release. Oh, well. We’ll just have to wait till Saturday to get shredded again.

  • Curling/special teams beatdown – from Smooth Operator

    Cardinal
    Goose
    Pope
    Dilly
    Tana
    Diddle
    Smooth Operator

    Last night seeing all the anti commits had me a little nervous about turnout. The fact that they were coupled with all the where were you stories for 9/11 where really cool and shows the diversity and different life experiences of this wonderful group. F3 is as much a support group and writing club as much as it is a fitness group and I am very happy to be a part of it.

    YHC was showed up to the Stage at 0455 after working a night shift. I was not expecting much of a turn out but knew I could count on Goose and Pope to show up to put in some work. Goose and Pope showed up around 0510 along with Cardinal and Tana. Dilly and Diddle showed up right before and during Warmarama. YHC was thrilled to see 7 PAX members ready to partake in some group suffering.

    Struggle bus for warmarama
    Due to sleep shortage, YHC struggled with cadence and a couple times just forgot I was supposed to be counting. Goose tried to help but to no avail. But I guess it’s the effort that counts.

    SSH
    Windmills
    Imperial walkers
    Arm circles
    Cherry pickers
    Mountain climbers
    Coupon curb mosey

    Today we will be doing a little shared suffering to honor the 2996 lives lost on September 11 2001. Just to help y’all feel young I was in the 3rd grade and had no idea what was going on. Today for our 10 counts you will be asked your where were you short story for 9/11.

    Thang 1
    Using a basketball we will throw or roll the ball down the street and we will be downing it similar to a punt coverage team in football or the wonderful winter Olympic sport of curling. If the ball goes off the concrete and into the grass we will be doing 10 burpees. Our mode of transport will be sprinting. Whenever we recover the ball we will be doing 5 Chuck Norris merkins. We will be going to the rich man loop dead end. This went surprisingly good. We managed to make it to the dead end only doing burpees once or twice. We probably did 40 to 50 Chuck Norris merkins.

    Thang 2
    We did a round of 7’s
    gossees on one side and American hammers 2 is 1 on the other and bear crawls were mode of transport. This one worked well and we got through it pretty easily. After Pope gave us a riveting story on how he was never thought of yet for 9/11.

    Back to Thang 1 with a twist

    Basketball game with grass penalty of 10 WW2 merkins, mode of transport is karaoke switching after every downing. 5 Bobby Hurley were the recovery exercise. We did this to the dead end near 3/4 mile mark on rich man loop. We went ahead and did one or two sets of world war sit ups due to a couple unforgiving curves in the road.The question was brought up which sit ups were we supposed to do. YHC honestly forgot there was a difference and was not overly concerned which exercise was performed.

    Thang 3
    Once we made it to the dead end we went ahead and set up to do some concrete crack suicides with a merkin performed each time you hit your starting point. The PAX ended up making it to the stop sign and probably did 10 sprints. After Goose gave us his story on where he was on 9/11. He was at LSU and watched the first tower fall realizing he had just watched thousands of people die. Went to class and got a text saying the second tower fell.

    Back to thang 1
    We played basketball game with American hammers 2 is 1 10 count as grass penalty. We sprinted as mode of transport. Recovery exercises was 5 Apollo unos. End point was supposed to be coupon curb dead end but due to 0600 approaching quickly we headed to the flag.

    Thang 4
    After we got back to the flag at 0555, YHC and Diddle set up the burrito and sent us out with Alan Jackson’s Where we’re you when the world stopped turning. The Pax would be changing levels on Al gore from low middle to high squat position. We would be changing levels on the breaks in the lyrics. This was tough and it carried us into 0600.

    Announcement revealed Goose has tomorrows Q. Honeysuckle VQ will be Thursday at the lions den. Saturday will be IPC. If you have been away for a while and still read back blast, this is as good a week as any to get back in the mix.

    Intentions were for all the babies and mommas in our community and Tana prayed us out.

    Thanks to all who came out and made this beatdown memorable.
    SYITG Smooth Operator

  • IPC: It’s Pure Crud, By Coyote – from Goose

    Today was the worst day of my life, I had to fly like a squirrel, I had to fight in World War 3, I couldn’t cheat with my Merkins, I had a fight with this jerk named Jillian Michaels, and every five minutes this voice came out of nowhere and told me to either Lunge walk, murder my bunny, or carry my rifle. It was a nightmare in the morning! If you sit down and get your popcorn, I’ll tell you the whole story….
     
                It was dark and crisp as YHC unloaded the killer material that YHC was forced to inflict on such innocent men!  After a few quick warmups, and YHC led the mosey to the field by Bayou Road. After a few brief introductions, we started the 45-minute timer of death. As we started, YHC looked around and saw that it was clear that some of the Pax would not make it through all this. But some of us managed to get to round two without the 5-minute timer interrupting our progress. YHC saw Yankee Joe and thought he was going to puke! A few even ripped their shirts off to beat the heat. Everyone hated the random voice that told us to walk in a really weird way. We were talking about the voice and how it didn’t compliment or encourage us until the very end, when it gave us a wimpy “Great job.” 
     
                In the end, we all survived, it was exhausting to even say our nicknames. We all loaded up the coupons, two smashed to pieces.
     
                And blam! That’s the story of how F3 Thibodaux survived the Execution of IPC, Week 1.

  • Beats, Bieber, Babies, Battlestar Galactica – from Paradox

    The year is 2011. Adeles “Rolling in the Deep” topped the charts. The Jefferson vs Lee qb controversy raged across the state. Wilfred Montana was ranked internationally in Call of duty. F3 was just 30 dudes at a park in North Carolina. What a time to be alive !

    It was this very year YHC and his future M had advanced into that special realm of the relationship called “meeting the family”. The mission of this weekend trip was simple: meet family , make a good impression and hide your IBS at all costs. Well they say everyone has a plan till you get punched in the mouth. And most of the IBS crew will add that you also have a plan until you heap salad on top of Billy’s boudin balls (pepperJack of course, shout out Krotz Springs) ) and sprinkle in the nerves of meeting your potential future in laws. It was amidst these trials and tribulations of gastrointestinal chaos that YHC was handed an even greater task. Returning from yet another bathroom break YHC was ambushed by his Ms sister holding a pint sized human, colloquially known as a “baby”. I would later find out this was my Ms niece who was thrust into my arms with the awkward wink and even more awkward comment to the baby “it’s your future uncle Devin “ …
    I held her with both arms extended from my body like a diapered grenade, unsure what to do next. My future sister in law saw the panic set in.
    “She…she won’t explode ..ya know. Just walk with her, she likes that.”
    I began a slow rhythmic walking and patting of the tiny human that any Native Americans would have appreciated as a rain dance. She found it neither comforting nor humorous and began to sing the song of her people. I immediately handed her back. “Is there an off button?” I asked and was met with shaking heads and pity.
    Later, on the long road back to Shreveport, Ashley inquired further. “So is that like the first baby you have ever seen in your life?” She asked as hwy 90 zipped by. I pondered it , then agreed
    “Yea , I think so. What a strange thing, I’ll try to limit my exposure in the future. Hey we are coming up on Billy’s! Want an order of boudin?! …

    And so we fast forward in the back-blast Time Machine and bring you to this morning at the Lions Den. Where 12 men showed up to help YHC shake off the rust (it’s been 7ish years) and welcome my 2.3. YHC is not the only pax with a baby on the way and figured September is a fine month for sharpening skills.

    Duke get the Boudreaux butt paste and roll the footage !
    It’s a baby dedication beatdown !

    Warmup
    The usuals with Tana doing whatever he pleases in stark rebellion. Smooth looked dashing in Hawaiian print and Ronnie wanted it noted that after silent reflection he has named most of the Thibodaux pax.

    Mosey to Hill and some of the pax had the early itch we call the basketball Jones. Goose practically begged for it to be played so JBL serenaded us with the Cheech and Chong classic. (Sorry AB, you missed it again)

    Thang 1
    First things first
    Getting the Baby News

    Arms Wide Open – Creed
    On the hwy hill, lunges up to backward lunges down with a Navy Seal burpee on “With arms wide open”
    The PAX cut the total time in half with correct answers from Enron, Dilly and Goose about Creeds 1999 Human Clay album led by Scott Stapp. A nice warmup.

    Next to rush to the hospital for delivery :

    Indian Run around the reservoir to the bball court with last man dropping off to do 3 flying squirrels for some hidden IPC prep

    At the ball court:

    There’s no point in even having a baby these days if you can’t blast it on all your socials right?!
    YHC took center court for “Baby” by Justin Bieber (2010’s My Way 2.0 album )
    The pax failed to guess these (Horn was sorely missed) but a gracious YHC gave DJ Ronnie credit for knowing Ludacris was featured. Deep rap knowledge from dem 318 bawzzz!
    Additional credit for pax guessing each round of Babies at 18 reps .

    Tin soldiers on song
    Bobby hurleys on Baby

    For a ten count YHC requested Dad Jokes and was not surprised to find the pax can go deep into the night before that tank is empty.

    So now we are home with a new human and excited about it. What’s next ? Hello darkness my old friend for 6 months?
    No Dox! no , we’ve been through this.
    Do Tanas restorative yoga breathing ? ? A useful tool yes , but some of us aren’t that advanced in the ways of eastern medicines.

    It’s time for the cry baby checklist !
    (No not the one one about Jeauxs manniversary , that’s another beatdown)

    Here’s the essential question I remember from 7 years ago , the question that all actions revolve around for months.

    The question is:

    What in Sam Hill could that baby have to cry about ??

    Furthermore why did it not listen when I told it in my plain broken English to please stop crying ??

    Duke! Get the checklist!

    1.) Does the baby need diaper changed?

    Rule: Assess the Damage and watch for shooters

    “7’s” donkey kicks/jump tucks

    Start out with 7 DKs to get down low and assess the damage and sprint to other end of court 1 JT so you can avoid the shooter (urination from a male baby) then Nur back for 6 DKs/2 JTs
    Repeato

    2. Proper Waste Management:
    Rule : Kobe 4 Lyfe

    If you are not involved directly in the changing of the waste then you can atleast take part in its disposal. One absolute necessity as a father is that you take the #1 diapers and shoot them into the trash can like Kobe. It’s an innate talent passed on from our own fathers who shot the urine cotton conglomerate and whispered “mJ” or “Wilt” But for YHCs generation there was no greater jeer than landing a nothing but net shot with a wad of college rule paper right in your 7th grade janitors face (and maybe a crowd of 8th grade girls) and hitting him with the “KOBE!!”
    Side note: It’s been a while but I do strongly suggest this with only the #2s dipes.

    This logically lead us to …
    F3 Put Out (Gotcha)
    SSH in line while waiting
    Mosey the court once you are out
    Last man standing

    YHC could tell Tana was in the zone early when he renamed the game Diaper Dandies. It came down to Dilly, Goose and BoneT to hold him off but his game was too strong today and he took the trophy and awarded the pax 10 burpees.

    #3 Is the baby Gassy?
    Rule: baby pat rain dance

    Partner Up:
    80 no cheat merkins 10 at a time while partner does gas pumps.

    YHC introduced Tana to concrete back farts while Enron and Valve listened to his mounting concern that we should call GI Joe for consultation. Hypotenuse was silently googling CrossFit locations.

    #4 Is the baby Hungry ?
    **this was scratched for time, you’ll thank me on Saturday**

    Moseyed back to the flag for :

    #5 do they need to be held ?
    So Close by Calvin Harris
    We took this jam to the buzzer with mixed Abs and Freddy mercuries.

    COT
    Announcements : IPC week 1 Saturday at the peltch. Watch the vids and practice your flying squirrels at home.

    Shoutout:
    T-Claps to Hypotenuse with back to back posts looking like a very solid addition to the already stacked ‘23 draft class .

    our intentions and prayers for expecting families

    Popeye prayed us out

    Thank you for the lead today men
    It was a much needed reminder at the difficulties ahead but also for the gratitude of this community and strength God provides through your brotherhood.

    Epilogue :

    2080
    West Lafourche

    “Baby ,baby ,baby ahhhh, like baby, baby, baby awww, I thought you’d always be mine “ the man sang has he jogged into Highland Lakes wrapping up his sprint home from his 60th manniversarv.
    He walked inside after giving the ole Sprinter (with the personalized RONNIE plates) two pats on the hood. “She’s still got it” he said walking in to find his M in need of help to dispose of a diaper from their great great grand-baby (4.0). He grabbed the diaper, side stepped the defense and drained it into the waste basket 30 feet away. “Kobe” he whispered looking at the old framed picture of the bayous finest men around a shovel flag. “Kobe …”

    SYITG
    Dox

  • A Little Stitious by Safety Valve – from Goose

    It was a cloudy morning, overcast, 76 degrees Fahrenheit, 98% humidity from the rain the day before, when 11 members of the PAX showed up to the Stage to prove once again they are worthy. Bone thugs convinced an FNG to follow him along today and we were blessed to name a new face to the group. The St. John crew continues to impress with the show rate. Turt made a second appearance, even though Dox continues to tout the JBL is waterproof up to 6 ft and in all respects better than any other speaker available.

    Journal log 9/5/2023 – My observation of this group continues, though less intently today as YHC focused on leading these men through his first Q, the VQ they call it. The first few encounters for YHC’s documentary have been odd. They seem to use a completely different language and enjoy the workouts when they are tougher. Who uses cinder blocks (where does coupon even come from?) to workout? Even though odd, these men continue to show up week after week and seem to enjoy themselves. Is it the pain they enjoy? Do they enjoy sitting down on the toilet and getting up grunting because of the soreness? YHC is at his wits end trying to figure it out. Contemplating, YHC is reminded of another documentary-“The Office”. At first with “The Office”, YHC questioned the Michael Scott methods of leadership, the romance within the work place, and how many employees are needed for a small satellite office that sells only paper. But, as observations continued, YHC slowly saw how Michael Scott (who initially seemed unfit to lead an obese cat to a bowl of food) actually was one of the best leaders to get this mangy group of people to work together and actually enjoy selling paper of all things. As Scott said “The only time I set the bar low is for limbo”. Furthermore, the usual bad taste of dating someone in the workplace turned out to be the best love story since Romeo and Juliet. YHC was proved wrong and is determined to find out what makes this group of F3 men tick…

    Warmarama

    Side straddle hops
    Wind mills
    Imperial walkers
    Mountain climbers
    Arm circles forward
    Arm circles back

    The thang
    1 mile run – 0.5 mosey with 0.5 Indian run to finish at the Bumper to grab coupons. During the first part of the mosey, the mind started to wonder. As we lined up for the Indian run at the halfway point, YHC wondered if he would be enough to lead this group of men. How will the PAX make it through workouts today without having the impressive form and determination of Paradiddle to gaze upon. But to my wondering eyes, we saw the brown locks of hair bouncing past us during his run to the front of the line to signify he made it and caught up during the warm up run. We were going to be ok. Diddle was with us.

    After the warm up run and a couple 10 counts The PAX were split into 4 groups of 2 and a single thruple for a continuous AMRAP – 25 minutes total, 5 minutes at each station. Since iron PAX week 0 was still fresh in the mind, the goal for today was to get a full body cardio workout without failing a single particular muscle group. The stations were as follows:

    The love story (who doesn’t love Jim and Pam) – catch me if you can – nur around track, other partner does 5 burpees and sprints to catch

    The warehouse – 15 Bobby Hurleys (squat to touch the ground then jumps up raising arms), 15 overhead presses, 15 deadlifts

    Parkour – leap frog your partner from one picnic table to the other, once there do 10 Jillian Michaels, rinse and repeat.

    The annex (because everyone hates Toby) – 10 man makers, 20 captain Thor’s, 10 thrusters

    The Stanley Hudson – 26 merkins (anything is possible if you want to leave work early for the day), 15 pretzel crunches left, 15 pretzel crunches right (because Stanley loves pretzel day)

    It wasn’t long after starting that we found out that “Parkour” was going to be the tough station, even though Toby in the Annex upset everyone. It’s never a good sign when the super group of Goose and Diddle ask if I’m keeping time because they were ready be done with the Parkour fun. Alas, they still had 1 minute to go as YHC peered at the timer. The chatter otherwise was kept to a minimum while the PAX grinded through each station. America’s Best was unlucky enough to have YHC be his partner again. Once again he continues to proved his name change to America’s beast as he nurred (nar?) around the track at lightening speed. If he was in “The Office” there would be no love story, Pam would have never caught up to him.

    After 25 minutes and each group visiting every station, time was called. We circled up and cloudy vision and foggy minds set in after the beat down as we prepared to name and bring the FNG to the PAX. The absence of Yankee Jeaux was felt as we missed his whimsical naming ability. In the end our FNG was fittingly named Hypotenuse, giving Enron a huge confidence boost as he bagged his first naming. Announcements were made, iron pax week 1 schedule was discussed, prayers were lifted, Dumbledore prayed us out.

    …In the end, I have finally figured out why people keep showing up week after week, day after day, and persuading other people they actually like in their personal lives to join them in the F3 brotherhood (aka cult). Because YHC is not the greatest with words and the poetic form of Yankee Jeaux and Goose was not inherited I’m going to quote one of our own. Cardinal once wrote:

    “Whenever I tell someone about F3, it’s usually something like ‘we exercise early and it usually sucks. But it’s some of the best men I’ve ever met in my life.’”

    The human body can only take so much alone, physically and mentally. It takes other good people around to push us to new heights. YHC will always have huge respect to every person in the PAX for that reason.

    Welcome hypotenuse! The workouts do suck, but you will get to know some great men and be a better person for it.

  • The Greatest…Most Incredible…Most… – from Goose

    It was indescribable. It was more than perfect. YHC didn’t know what to expect on this Labor Day morning after a destructive IPC Saturday, and at 5:14 sitting with Pope in an empty parking lot, we thought maybe we’d be going back to bed to keep nursing our wounded muscles and pride. But, we could never have expected the overwhelming gift, the perfect storm of perfectness that lay ahead. Diddle pulled in as the clock struck 5:15, and it…it…began.
    To try put into human words, even in these sacred annals, the blessed events that occurred, that washed over and through us this morning, would be an unforgiveable blasphemy and would leave you, dear reader, in the same awe-struck paralysis of wonder that YHC has been lost in these past three hours. (I just regained use of my hand, and what a tragedy, what a heartbreak to have to come back to what is now a world of mediocrity).
    It is clear that what we experienced was the greatest beatdown that has ever occurred, that will every occur, that could ever possibly occur. And, to even keep speaking about it would…would……

  • IronPax Week Zero – from Paradox

    You are gazing upon the happenings of Thibodaux, La on the morning of Sept 2 and there are many sights to behold. In the deep gloom near Peltier park several athletes push their bodies to the max in an annual event meant to find the limits of cardiovascular and psychological endurance. It comes every fall and like cool weather and Friday night football it signals the changing of seasons. That event is known as the ED White Cross Country meet.
    ….
    Now take your telescoping lens and scooch it over just a hair ..adjust the mean age by 17 years , sprinkle in wisdom and wrap it in grit and tenacity. Remove the cheering family and substitute with dual connect JBLs. There, there you are, just right. Now you have it.
    Can you see 15 pax surrounded by coupons and encircling the shovel flag prepared to face IPC week zero?

    IPC is finally here!!

    here’s how week zero took place on da bayou.

    Duke! Roll the footage and wake me up when September ends!

    Warmups
    After a week of prep with some finely tuned beatdowns, YHC wanted to add an extra layer of lather and injury protection before we put the pedal all the way to floor so we had round 1 of warmups at the flag with Seal Jacks , IW , Arm circles , CP, Self love , High knees , Butt kicks.
    The pax were loose and ready to dive in as we coupon moseyed to the ThunderDome for the main event.

    The Thang

    It’s taken YHC a few years to decode our QIC Gooses love language but most days I can translate it well. A few examples : “Your shorts are too short” really means “I’m shopping for shorter shorts tonight because they highlight your quads”. And “Those High Knee Arm circles are the dumbest thing in the known universe” really means “that’s an effective and thorough warmup Dox and I think you are swell”
    Of course this takes years of verbal battery to acquire but here I am better for it.
    So when YHC unveiled a 7 foot particle board sign with todays week zero instructions and Goose simply said “I wish it was taller” then I really knew he was saying “I’m overwhelmed by its magnificence and only a sonnet would suffice for praise”
    Fair enough my friend but I know how you really feel.
    YHC gave a quick rundown and we got to the work below:

    Start the timer
    Warmup
    13 reps
    SSH- IW-MC-ST-PJ

    800 meter run

    Then 85 Reps of each followed by 8 burpees after each round of :

    HR merkins
    BBSU
    Dips
    Goblet Squats
    Coupon OHP
    4 count flutter kicks
    KB swings

    800 meter run

    The Iron PaxCenter Top Plays
    Brought to you by CoolJabs :

    As most IPCs go when the whistle blows the vision tends to get hazy. Week zero was no exception and although YHC teetered somewhere between blurred vision and syncope for the duration these were the observations.

    -The pax got off to a nice start on the 800 meter with DiddleGoose (don’t google this ) upfront amd Pope as the pace car and the second wave of pax keeping a conservative pace just behind.

    – Turns out America’s Beast is an actual Virginian grizzly bear. Some think he began the transformation during Popes halo bear crawl of death. Whenever it was I’m here to tell you The BearMan was rolling with good form early with the HR merkins and YHC found inspiration in his intermittent bear grunts. If only we had a shirt for this occasion.
    – The 2.0s provided both stern form advice (Duke) and light hearted banter (Coyote) along with the watchful eye from our wagon EMT (Jack B Nimble)
    – Team JBL reassured the pax of high performance audio after a shaky week. Tuesday we were upstaged by a younger and more beautiful turtle box and Thursday JBL flip 6 (our brother formerly from OLOPs) provided some questionable connection. So Diddles JBL Burrito saved face and YHC did my best DJing to keep the pax spirits high. If some one doesn’t show up at my funeral and play Turn Down for What I’ll be a tad disappointed.
    – Dumbledore was performing coupon goblet squats so perfect and so deep I had to stop mid beatdown and write Crayola a letter via owl from the Hogwarts school of Glute and Quads. Well done Dore.
    – The goblet squats were a gut check for us all and it was no surprise they brought out Smooths best . He was hammering them 10 at a time and there was no quit as the Clydesdale awoke in him.
    – Great to have LOX back with us today! bringing in the summer magic and getting a good break from reading all those rich mohagney seminary books.
    – Gi Joe brought a steely performance amd YHC kept seeing him hit a wall, take a breath and break through to the next set. Well on his way to bring the fittest GI Doc in the state.
    – Overall this crew stood their ground through some ridiculously high reps and stayed in the fight till we hit 7:30 and circled up. T-claps indeed.

    COT and Goose prayed us out

    Grateful to lead men
    Keep hammering

    Moleskin :
    If you’ve attended 1 beatdown or really any social gathering you can usually find the guy in a group who has an internal pressure to hear his own voice. YHC was born with this affliction. So every year when IPC rolls around I find it a nice change of pace (if only brief) to work on battling the inner voice. The one that says 85 reps is stupid and that things are burning and here’s 9000 reasons you should stop. But 1 reason to keep going IS present and part of the iron sharpening process is looking over and seeing the guy next to you fighting that same battle. Each rep, each set, each week we sharpen each other a little more.
    Welcome to September men.

    See you in the Gloom
    Dox