The morning’s first challenge to meet the Pax and YHC was the wet, and surprisingly active, ant piles. More than half of us were bitten before the warmups. YHC lead the Pax in unusually long warmups then we headed over to the Lower Field for what we knew would be a messy, muddy Football game. YHC announced that each turnover was ten Merkins, and each Touchdown was a series of Burpees. The offense started by doing five and the defense ten. With every next Touchdown, five Burpees would be added to each. The two teams were named by the color of their flag, blue vs. yellow. Team Yellow consisted of Goose, Lil Cuz, Goldilocks, Picadilly, Duke, and Smooth Operator, while team Blue had Enron, Paradox, Pope, Popeye, and YHC. Team Blue started on offense because of low numbers. The team’s possession switched after a failed fourth-down conversion attempt. Team Yellow took a 7-0 lead after a great catch by Goose. After another Blue turnover, Goose made another amazing Touchdown catch, and Yellow took a 14-0 lead. Pope threw an Interception, and Smooth took it from there with a great diving catch, and a Touchdown catch. Yellow had a 21-0 lead when Blue finally scored a Touchdown on a great throw from Popeye and catch from Paradox. Goldilocks said, “Aw man, we didn’t shut them out.” Enron and Paradox had to leave before it was over, and Lil Cuz went to blue team. The final score was 28-7 Yellow, and everyone’s combined total of exercises was 675 Burpees and 400 Merkins. YHC counted a total 16 cut-slips, half of them being Smooth’s, who shot out mud when he fell. We all had a great time, and we all went home dirtier then we’d been in a long, long time.
Tag: Goose
-
Exicon Top Cover – from Honeysuckle
YHQ arrived early to test out the “mintron” speaker’s ability to broadcast from the Lion to the trees and was disappointed. Fortunately, several PAX arrived at that moment at the same time. YJ continues to impress with his parking skills. Significant amounts of calf stretching ensued. Valve arrived just in time for warmarama.
Warmarama:
SSH, Windmills, Willie Mays Hayes, Imperial Walkers, Toy Soldiers, High Knees, Butt KickersThang 1:
As this beatdown was coming together, the theme seemed to be YHC making slight modifications to some other beatdown or Thang that someone else did. So the theme today would be covers. A lot of time, the band doing the cover tries to get as close to the original as possible. But sometimes they make it their own, and this latter approach would guide our exercises today.First, since we do 6 minutes of Mary quite a bit, this was changed to be 15 minutes of Joseph. The Joseph in this case is Joseph Pilates, who put a lot of focus into the brain-muscle connection. For the exercises we’re used to, this is no big deal. But some movements, especially fine movements or new movements, we aren’t used to them and they can be a challenge.
America’s Best previously mentioned that the “Hundred” was in the exicon, so YHC scrubbed the exicon to find other “official” F3 exercises that were similar to pilates exercises. Here is YHC’s mapping, which is the set of exercises done today:
Exicon -> Pilates
Hundred -> Hundred. On your six, pump arms up and down 100 times. Feet on the ground, abs engaged.
WWI Situps -> Roll up
Alphabet -> Leg circles. The first 13 letters done on the right leg, unless you are left handed. The second 13 letters done on the other leg. It was good to brush up on the alphabet also.
Boat/Canoe -> Double leg stretch
Bay city scissors -> Scissors (w/o side scissor)
Criss-cross -> Freddy Mercurys
Superman -> Superman
Ab stretch -> Bottom of pickle pounder
Cooler -> Side lying leg raises (w/o knee to chest). These were extra rough.
? -> Figure 4 stretch
At this point it was noted by Yankee Joe that we really don’t do much stretching. Goose’s opinion was that stretching was supposed to be done on your own time, and that was that.
Thang 2:
YHC still regrets missing the Iron PAX challenge done at the track this year. So to sort of replicate it, the PAX were to do a Route 66 around the civic center. Exercises were to be done at the front and rear of the building. Starting at the front, one burpee, one squat, and one merkin were to be performed, then run to the back and do two of each exercise. Then run around to the front and do 3 of each exercise, and so on, until at the last stop 11 of each exercise are completed.We often wonder, how many [fill in exercise] did we do? With route 66, there are multiple ways to get this number.
1+2+3+4+5+6+7+8+9+10+11 = 66
Or
(1+11) + (2+10) + (3+9) + (4+8) + (5+7) + 6 =
12+12+12+12+12+6
= 60 +6 = 66Or
Sum of 1 to N is N*(N+1)/2, so for N=11 we have 11*12/2 = 11*6 = 66.
Or
Just make an inference as to why the exercise is named Route 66.
During this exercise, we listened to several covers and also an original song that possibly has a more famous cover.
Rolling Stones covering Route 66 (orig: Nat King Cole)
Rascall Flatts covering Life is a Highway (orig: Tom Cochrane. Nod to Smooth’s Disney beatdown)
Lenny Kravitz covering American Woman (orig: Guess Who)
Bruce Springsteen singing Blinded By the Light (covered by Manfred Mann. Wrapped up like a douche?)
Van Halen covering You Really Got Me (orig: the Kinks)
Thang 3
Just 3-4 minutes left, which was the perfect amount of time for some VO2 max work. Enron several months ago had a sequence that worked on this, so we were going to burn it out today. The exicon word is “Ciabatta” (hence the bread), known to everyone else as Tabata, which is a specific type of high intensity interval training (HIIT) in which you work for 20 seconds and rest for only 10 seconds. It provides most of the fitness benefits of cardio, without having to spend all that time doing cardio. According to google, the only negative of Tabata is that it isn’t much fun.PAX would sprint back and forth between the lion and the trees during the work period, and do whatever they felt like during the 10 seconds rest. Since minitron would not be loud enough for the PAX to hear the start/stop from everywhere on the course, YHC brought a whistle as a backup and this is what was used to demarcate start and stop. The PAX completed let’s call it 5 rounds of work before it was time to recover.
As Goose and Pope had to leave early this morning, we counted 6 PAX. Yankee Joe prayed us out.
YHC appreciates the PAX diving deep into the exicon today and dealing with YHC’s strange cadences at times. But we made it through. And YJ was not only able to pull into his parking spot, he was also able to pull out of his parking spot. No reverse required. No other PAX who drove today could say the same.
SYITG,
Honeysuckle -
PAX Turkana: A Thanksgiving Reforus – from Yankee Joe
The following is a refurbished version of Thanksgiving 2022…
A record seven PAX showed up at the Stage….wait…no that was from Thanksgiving last year. This year, 11 PAX posted at The Den, and that wasn’t even a record! I’m tellin’ ya…this year’s PAX draft class is legendary. Anyway, Thanksgiving is a holiday that often gets overshadowed. As such, in the chaos leading up to Christmas, we can forget to take a moment to be thankful.
As my children adorably sang (sang is a strong word) Thanksgiving songs during their Pre-K performances last week, one verse stuck out to me:
“I’m a little pilgrim on the run, here is my knife and here is my gun. When I go a-hunting, hear my shout- Deer and turkey better watch out!”
I pondered about what the turkey thought about all this? I asked myself, who will speak for the Turkey? I’ll tell you who…the turkeys of F3 Thibodaux…oh and also one Goose. We would need to think like a turkey, sound like a turkey, move like a turkey, and fly like a turkey.
Wait, can turkeys fly? We would find out together. You know what they say, “Turkeys of a feather Jurp off together.”
“Nobody says that.”
“Shut your pie hole, Duke and focus on the turducken.”
—————————————-Warmarama with the regs, followed by a civic center mosey.
Today, we’re all a bunch of turkeys. But I’m proud of that fact. There are haters everywhere. They say that we’re delicious. They mock us saying gobble gobble. Their kids trace their hands on construction paper and slap some feet on them and say, “Look mommy, I made a turkey.” Like it’s a genuine Turcasso. Sorry kid, your teacher found the turkey hand template online because she’s bored and hates her job. However, she’s pissed that you used so much freakin’ Elmer’s glue when all you need is a dot. Just a dot. It’s a googly eye for crying out loud. C’mon Tana.
I could deal with all of this if it weren’t for the worst thing. They say we can’t fly. Bobby Joe, Jessie Pearl, and Popeye call us flightless birds. Flightless! Oh yeah, Bubba Sue, how the hell did I get up in this tree? Well, I say horsefeathers. They think they’re the cat’s pajamas, drinking all that giggle juice; They don’t know their onions. Until now, we’ve made a right pig’s ear of things. But that ends today. Today, we will show them a thing or two about a thing or two. We’re going to learn to fly.
Welcome to Butterball Flight Academy.
——————————————–Lesson 1: Arm and Leg Warm-up
To the tune of “Learning to Fly” by Tom Petty, these parakeets did:– 1st verse – Shoulder taps; Refrain (or chorus? Asking for an optometrist friend) – Merkins
– 2nd verse – Shoulder taps; Reforus – Mountain climbers
– Bridge – chill
– 3rd verse – squats; Extended reforus – Flying squirrels*YHC didn’t fully understand what a flying squirrel entailed. Thank goodness we had a G- oose to set us on the right path.
——————————————–Lesson 2: Coordination and flight training – Turkeys are not completely flightless and can fly in short bursts. To work on this facet of training, the flocked did:
– Flying nuns with forward arm circles through lunges to sidewalk (approx. 20 yards)
– Jump squats X25 (at this point, YHC was questioning his…well everything)
– Mario punch skips back to start (apparently Geese just skip/run…weird)
– Bonnie Blair’s x25 (yeah, Lil’ Cuz, 25:2)
———————————————Lesson 3: You Must Focus: Sometimes You Must Think Like a Crane, not a Turkey.
To the tune of “You’re the Best” from Karate Kid (Part 1, of course), these flamingos did:– 1st verse – SSH; Refrain – alternating crane kicks
– 2nd verse – SSH; Refrain – alternating crane kicks
– Bridge – Speed Monkey humpers; Refrain – alternating crane kicks
– 3rd verse – SSH; Refrain – alternating crane kicks*By the end, it is impossible to describe whatever the hell any of us were doing. They weren’t crane kicks. BUT WAIT! Is that Ralph Macchio out there? No…it’s America’s Best! Oh how I wish we would’ve had someone recording his perfect form.
—————————————–Intermission: You can only push a bunch of turkeys so far without giving them some reward. So, we took a break and like any good family thanksgiving, we had a pot-luck Mary session.
– Dilly: Leg raises
– Honeysuckle: Freddy Mercs
– Lil’ Cuz: Dolphin Hops (like a real son of turkey, but he misses Paradox, so who can really blame him…I can.)
– America’s Best: At first squats, but then someone (probably Lil’ Cuz) threw some shade about it not being an ab exercise, so AB, without missing a beat and putting on his Dad voice, said, “Ok fine. V-ups 3:1!” And we did 60.
– Popeye: He pondered for a moment, then called a lap around the civic center. At this point, Goose suggested to YHC that the concept of Mary may have been woefully unexplained to the most recent draft class.
– Wet Tap: Bird dawwwwwgs
– Pope: American hammers
*YHC had to cut the potluck short due to selective hearing. A note about MARY: There’s something about her. Abs in just seven minutes. NOT six, I said seven. Step into my office. You’re X@#$& FIRED. MARY is abs.
——————————————Lesson 4: We Fly!
– Sprint to sidewalk with tucked wings, intermittently screeching “gobble, gobble.”
– Nur sprint back with tucked wings, screeching “elbbog, elbbog.”
– Repeato three times.
——————————————-Lesson 5: Stabilizers
Our wings are curved, our tail feathers are straight up, our bones are dense. We are fluffy, not fat. As such, our last lesson dealt with an oft overlooked facet of turkey flight training…stabilizers.AND you’re all a bunch of soft, entitled turkeys. You don’t deserve to be comfortable…ever. You think I enjoyed hiding this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my tailfeathers…oh man…sorry. I get mixed up sometimes.
To the tune of Gobble Gobble (by Matthew West…it’s a good one), these cockatoos engaged in a combination of elbow plank holds, J-Lo’s (low plank, alternate hips touching ground), and pickle pounders (low plank with hip thrust down and up).
Together, the J-Lo’s and the Pickle Pounder are called the ARod. But for obvious reasons, this name is no longer appropriate. For the consideration of F3 Thibodaux, I offer the J-Lo Pickle Gobbler. It’ll catch on. (I wrote the same thing last year. It didn’t catch on.)
– 1st verse – Elbow plank
– Pickle pounders on “gobble”
– Reforus – J-Lo’s
– 2nd verse – Elbow plank
– Pickle pounders on “gobble”
– Extended Reforus – J-Lo’s
————————————————–Encore! Three minutes remaining
YHC deliberated with great pains on which Karate Kid song to use for the Crane Kick lesson. It came down to “You’re the Best” and “Glory of Love.” The former won out by virtue of faster cadence.So, to the tune of “Glory of Love,” we held Mission Impossible plank for three minutes until time called at 6 am.
COT and Piccadilly prayed us out. As always, I am thankful for F3, the men of the Thibodaux FLAX, and most of all the values that we share.
SYITG and Gobble Gobble,
Turkey Jeaux
-
Disney Zumba – from Smooth Operator
11/21/23
Attendance
Pope
safety valve
Wet tap
Americas best
Goose
Enron
Lil cuz
HoneysuckleYHC slept through 2 alarms this morning and woke up at 4:50 which pretty much set the tone for the beatdown. At 5:10 YHC showed up and didn’t see the Turt wielding Safety Valve, which caused YHC to send Goose to his house for a music box. 2 minutes later Safety Valve showed up and Goose showed back up at 5:16 on SSH 18.
YHC recently had the privilege to take his family to Disney World. With all the stuff my family had been through in the last 4 months, I figured it was worth a shot to try and capture a little bit of happiness from the happiest place on earth. YHC has a love hate relationship with Disney. I don’t mind the drinks and food that they sell there even though it is more than double what a meal should cost, but YHC’s family loves going and I’m not going to stop them if I can help it. YHC needed a couple weeks to let the idea of this beatdown mature before I was ready to bring this joy to the PAX. Alright let’s get after it.
Warmarama
SSH
Wind mills
Arm circles
Cherry pickers
Mosey to coupon corner for some 35 lb dance partners.Thang 1-10
A few weeks into YHC’s F3 experience, Goose shared a beatdown with the PAX which involves nothing but music exercises and burpees. We did over 200 burpees that day and I thought that was the coolest idea and I developed a love for the burpees that day. Well due to YHC’s experience at Disney and this very fond memorable beatdown, I decided to stick these two in a blender and YHC’s version of Disney Zumba was what came out. Alright let’s get after it.The 1st song was meant to be an additional warm up due to a relatively short warmarama. The song was Poco Loco from the Pixar movie Coco. The Pax did mountain climbers for the duration and A-rods (J-lo and pickle pounder) on the trigger words Poco Loco and Mi amor. The Pax knocked this out with relative ease and looked to be hungry for more.
The next song on the agenda was from Mulan named Make a man out of you. Naturally the duration workout was Manmakers and the trigger exercise was goblet squats. Our trigger words for this song were Huns, son, boy, Mr. and man.
Song 3 was surface pressure from Encanto. For this song the Pax switched from high, middle, and low Al gore squats each time there was a lyrical break in the song. Our trigger exercise was Bobby Hurleys each time the words pressure or surface came about which happened to be a good bit.
Our next song I started feeling the Pax giving me some icy stares. The song name was Frozen heart from the hot movie Frozen. The duration exercise was Side straddle hops although there was not many SSH due to the amount of trigger exercises completed. The trigger exercises was goose’s and our trigger words were frozen, cold, icy, basically anything that the Pax determined to represent cold. I’m pretty sure everybody thought this one was cool.
Next we stayed on theme and did another song from Frozen 2 named Lost in the woods. Our duration exercise was holding 6” and our trigger exercise would be leg raises. Our trigger words were go, gone, lost, catch, chasing.
The next song , Zero to Hero, comes from Hercules. Each time there was a lyrical break we would switch from high plank to low plank.
YHC is a big fan of this next movie, if I had to pick a favorite princess movie it would be Moana and Shiny our featured song is a good one. Our duration exercise was Apollo onos and we did burpees for our trigger exercise. The trigger words were shiny, glam, treasure, sparkle, glitter basically anything to do with a shiny. We basically did 3 minutes of burpees once this one was finished.
The next one is not as well known as the rest on this list. It’s all right from the movie Soul is another good song. Our duration exercise was coupon crunches and our trigger exercise was WW3 sit ups. The triggers were it’s all right and soul. We did a lot of ww3 sit ups.
YHC couldn’t pass up the Jungle Book Bare necessities since Wet Tap was really looking forward to it. We did Bonnie Blair’s for duration and burpees for a trigger. Our trigger words were Bare, Bear, Bees, Honey, and Paw. We didn’t do many Bonnie Blair’s.
Our last song which was supposed to be engrained in the Pax’s brains was It’s a small world. We did penguins for duration and WW2 sit ups whenever we heard the worlds it’s a small world in all languages. This seemed to baffle the Pax but we ended up getting whistle bit on 0600 before we left the English language.
After this we circled up and did COT and prayed out
Thanks to the Pax who stuck with me. I half expected people to walk out on this one. All in all those who came, put in work, and were probably sore the next morning. Mission accomplished.
SYITG
Smooth Operator -
Fitness, Faith and the Fellowship of the Thang – from Paradox
One beatdown to smoke them
One beatdown to find them
A free men’s workout that calls them home
And in the gloom it binds them …
The beacons of Gondor were lit !
And 13 pax answered. They came from all corners of Middle Lafourche on this humid fall morning for a 2 year YHC Manniversary celebration.Members of the fellowship in attendance:
– The Elven King Hon Suk El from the high castle of Rienzi . His lands and bannermen are many including the Lowes and the Academy. He was accompanied by Royster Princes Ewok and Yelnats requesting burpees for breakfast.
– The nomadic wizard Goosedalf from the ethereal Oaks. He bringeth 3 wizard apprentices, trained trivia assassins Pope GooseSon and Coyote GooseSon and the most feared sprinter in the land Duke GooseSon.
– The Scholar bandit known as the Shimmering Lox recently released from his prison studies. The bards will sing of his quads for many generations.
– King Mudgear of the 12th cedar Fortresses. If a man threatens Merkin Rhabdo he will appear in aid , the legends be true. May his tail wind blow in your favor.
– The Bard Tom BombaDiddle from the smoking marshes of HomeMaH. No fiddle he cannot play, no score he will not slay but his gas flute is deadliest of all.
– The Warrior En Ronnie Lillicchh of the High Lands, though many question his name none question his mode of beast. The men of his family must all defeat the Snapping Turla , or be exiled .
– Captain Pop Aye, the Kings Guard and the newly minted Earl of Sandwich, expert in sword and shield, master of the one word insult, and igniter of groupme flames.Thus they assembled the fellowship on this fine Saturday.
Their fitness was sharp but many tests of faith stood before them…Duke!! Roll the Footage , we’re going to Mordor !
Warmup
SSH, IW, WM , AC, CP MCYHC had trouble keeping cadence due to the loud popping and clicking of joints left over from Safety Valves obliteration of the pax lower extremities on Thursday. He could not be reached for comment but the pax were jumpy at the mere mention of Bonnie Blair’s and I knew we were in for a a battle.
As YHC was reflecting on his 2 year journey with F3 I noticed some of my favorite things about beatdowns blended nicely with a LOTR themed bd YHC has had on a back pot low simmer for a while. So I compiled my “lessons learned” over the last 2 years and sprinkled in some light Tolkien to put a bow on it.
Don’t be hasty , one doesn’t simply walk into Mordor!Chapter 1.
The Fitness and leaving your warm hobbit hole comfort zoneYHC cherishes the moments where F3 has pushed the envelope of my physical and mental comfort zone in the last 2 years. Most ppl from my high school would tell you YHC was “fairly reserved” maybe even the dreaded “stays to himself” but f3 changes a man…
-Monkey humpers during a cross county meet, no problem.
-5 inch inseam shorts at a park at 6:30am , why ? cus YJ said so, that’s why.
-Singing sea shanties during a 5k monsoon, just another lovely morning.So we Mosey’d to the Chimney representing our cozy hobbit Hole while training our Hobbit feet.
Indian run with drop off 3 BBSU
But today they are Bilbo Baggins sit ups. First sit-up , then right elbow to left knee , left elbow to right knee represents eating both first and second breakfast.At Da Chimney :
Helms Deep Squat Trivia
Correct 5 burpees
Incorrect 15 burpees1. How old was Bilbo at the beginning -(111)
2. What is the name of bilbos home? (Bag End)Ok let’s talk about the trivia real quick.
I want you to imagine Dikembe Mutumbo (Pope) and Shaq (Coyote) standing beside a 6 foot basketball goal. YHC tosses soft layups as they swat balls into the rafters and their coach (Goose) nods in silent approval. The rest of the pax were simply spectators as they made child’s play of YHCs “moderate difficulty “ LOTR trivia. A fair warning to you trivia Qs out there, dem Dawson boys play for keeps. Do not bring weak trivia game into the paint.Bilbos 111th birthday
111 big bilbo sit-ups
Hobbit Walk to chimney , sprint back
Many variations of the hobbit walk , all were accepted without shame while our local form police was furthering his doctoral study of burpee merkin combos this weekend.Helms Deep Squat Trivia
3.) how many members are in the fellowship- 9
4.) can you name them all?
Gandalf, Frodo, merry, pippin, Sam, gimli, Legolas, boromir , AragornAgain yawns from the pope and Coyote and “you knew better Dox” nod from goose
– 5 burpeesChapter 2
Forming The Fellowship
Many Races but One FellowshipYHC concocted a few race schemes to display increasing difficulty paralleled with increasing brotherhood of F3.
I tell someone almost every week about F3 and always remark something like “I hate half of these exercises if I have to perform them solo but when it’s with this crew I triple set my alarm to go at 5am in cold rain while swallowing chimchuri farts “ . The magic of the shared suffering , tough to describe but I think the team races help.The races would increase by 1 pax each round.
Winner would pick 10 reps of any exercise for the pax1 ) solo bearcrawl – 10 merkins CrawlBear
10 burpees from Ewok/Yelnats
2 ) pax wheel barrow – 20 Carolina- swap and wheel barrow back
3) 3 man carry 25 star jumps
This sounded better on paper and YHC narrowly avoided being face to face with Paradiddles pair of diddles.
4 ) 4 pax team lungeWalk 10 Bonnie Blair’s , …team Egnul Walk back to cone which ended up looking like a well oiled machine on the front end and a drunk octopus dying in a hail storm on the return journey.
Helms deep squat Trivia :
5.) who plays Aragorn – Vigo Mortesen
6.) what is the name of the evil that Gandalf must stop in the minds of Moria to save the fellowship. – Balrog*At this point not only was Pope guessing the trivia answers AND questions he saw us moseying toward the bridge and was like “Khazad-dum next huh?”
Unbelievable.
What are you feeding this kid goose!Chapter 3
The Bridge of Khazad-dum and
Facing the darkness head onDuring IPC month every year there lies an extra mental challenge. When the Bengay video drops there is no hiding. Crayola stands in front of you just like a Balrog and no amount of staring will change the high rep counts. It’s part of the mental iron sharpening and all you can do is face it beside the pax.
“7s “ at the Bridge
6 Freak Nastys (decrease)
Cross bridge with 2.0s as bridge troll form police while presenting 10 diamond merkins
1 burpee (increase)2.0s were ruthless form police ! #JeauxcomeHome
Chapter 4
Finish StrongOne of my favorite parts of an F3 beatdown is the last 10 minutes. Everyone is smoked. Sweat in eyes, engine on E then some ridiculous thang gets introduced and there’s a perceptible banding together to defeat the task. You think the tank is empty but looking around and seeing others to push for and there’s always more.
The March to Mordor
Partner up
P1 lunges while P2 does 10 mountain climbers , when finishes run to p1 swap and 10 MCGoose and Lox won it and handed out some fine dirt pile derkins.
Back to the flag for round robin Mary.
Animal shirt to Diddle for skipping LOTR to practice drums. Worth it .
Intentions for many suffering with illness, families in need and anxieties of the holiday season.
COT and Diddle prayed us out
Men it’s an absolute blast sharing these moments in the gloom with you and a privilege to get opportunities to lead.
Looking forward to another great year.SYITG ,
Dox -
Diamonds are forever – from Safety Valve
November tends to signify the start of the holidays for many. For others, it is the start of engagement season. A recent engagement had YHC reminiscing of his own 13 years ago. Most couples get engaged between November and February statistically. Today, we are celebrating the recent and upcoming engagements of our friends and family
Warmaramma
SSH
Imperial walkers
Willie mays Hayes
High knees
Butt kicks
Arm circles forward
Arm circles back
Cherry pickersThang 1
The engagement starts with the awkward conversation with your future in laws. YHC recalls this time vividly in his own life. It was 2010. As YHC built up the courage to to discuss the engagement with the future in laws, he remembers getting a cramp in the gluteus maximus from the constant clinching of the cheeks. All YHC could do is sit down and try to not make a grimace while we discussed how their daughter pushes me to be a better person every day. In remembrance of that moment, leg day commenced.7 of diamonds – at each corner of the Diamond (basketball nets) the previous exercise was completed and the new one added. Once the four corners were completed we then went backwards and subtracted 7 reps from each exercise at each corner.
7 burpees, then add
14 jump squats, then add
21 Bonnie Blair’s, then add
28 American hammersThang 2
The next part of the engagement is the proposal and the ring. The rings exchanged signifies eternal love and never ending commitment. To remember this commitment we run circles around the civic center.
4 laps around the civic center – after each lap, we stop and complete 15 Diamond merkins.Thang 3
The last part of the engagement prior to tying the knot includes waiting for your bride to be to make every decision about wedding planning. So, we waited for each other to do burpees. Using the same Diamond formation from thang 1, the Pax completed the field of dreams on the basketball court. There were four groups – 15 burpees, amrap merkins, amrap LBCs, amrap squats. After the burpee group finishes, each group rotates to the next station.Made it back to the flag, CoT, announcements, and Popeye prayed us out.
Thanks for waking up and showing up. Honor to lead this group today
-
11/14 national holiday’s – from Smooth Operator
Attendance
Safety Valve
Honeysuckle
Americas best
Wet Tap
Goose
Pope
Enron
Smooth OperatorThis was the first time YHC has ever went into the eve of a beatdown without having a plan of attack for the beatdown. Luckly due to a slow 12 hour night shift I had some time on my hands to do some planning.
YHC arrived at the Stage around 0450 and took a power nap knowing I was going to need it due to the agenda for the day. Enron rolled on in at 0505 and the parking lot started to fill up after that. It was a wet nasty 60 degrees with a wind that had the flag standing fully erect for the majority of the beatdown.
Warmarama
Side straddle hops 33 of them due to YHC trying to get the chill out of the body.
Windmills
Arm Circles
Cherry pickers
High Knees
Butt kicksThang One
Pickle Pounder MileUpon my research for the beatdown I came upon 2 very interesting national holidays for 11/14. The first being National Pickle Day. To celebrate this the PAX would be doing a Pickle Pounder Mile. We would run our normal mile track through Richman’s Loop and stop every quarter mile to do 25 pickle pounders. Due to YHC’s lack of stamina and speed, YHC decided to give the speedier PAX members a little busy work to keep the PAX together. After completion of your 25 pickle pounders and while waiting on the 6 (YHC), the PAX were to perform J-LO’s until the 6 completed the pounding of his pickle. After completion of our very first pickle pounder mile the PAX looked hungry for Thang 2.
Thang 2
Bear Crawl 1 2 3The 2nd holiday for 11/14 was National Teddy Bear Day. To celebrate this the PAX would partner up and Bear Crawl 1 2 3. Partner 1 would bear crawl to the 2nd picnic table and back while partner 2 would be working on 100 merkins, 200 squats, and 300 LBCS. There was a discrepancy between which 2nd picnic table would be our turning point since it was not square and in an act of mercy YHC allowed the PAX to go to the closer picnic table. The PAX knocked this Thang out like Thedore Rosevelt in a brawl with a teddy bear. Poor Honeysuckle got stuck with YHC as a partner and had to pick up my slack as YHC was silently trying to figure out how to escape his own beatdown. Once the PAX helped pick up my slack and we completed the exercise, we had the perfect amount of time to try something Paradox had told me about which turned into thang 3.
Thang 3
HWY 308 burpees.AT 0550 with 10 minutes to spare, YHC decided to have the PAX line up on the 308 sidewalk and do a burpee for every vehicle that decided to pass. A few takeaways from this is there are a lot of cane trucks that pass on 308 and they hold up a lot of traffic. Each time a cane truck passed we had at least 6 burpees or more to complete. All in all, this was a great way to do between 65 and 85 burpees in 10 minutes.
After this, we circled up back at the flag and counted off. The Animal (Safety Valve) presented the young cub (Pope) with the Animal shirt and Americas Best prayed us out.
Thanks PAX for showing up and struggling with me.
SYITG
Smooth Operator -
Just One More – from Paradox
Misty rain, mysterious gif riddles, and relentless cane trucks were no match for the 8 high impact men at the stage today. YHC has been itching to get back out on a Monday as there is no better way to start the week. Tuesday Tuff may have the glitz and glamour but I knew the real fun was secretly being had on Momentum Mondays. That’s where the pax were really asking the hard hitting questions. Like todays…just why is flatulence so funny?
Have you ever pondered it.
We have a multitude of other audible bodily functions right? But no one even bats an eye at a really loud sneeze, in fact we offer them blessings! A burp? First, you have to excuse yourself, then you have to go home and change the snapping turla soup recipe. Crack your knuckles and you just mean business. Even a loud tummy rumble and we feel empathy for ones hunger. But what about ole tail feathers…yes, the fart transcends time AND space. Consider the following scenarios. At the bedside of a passing loved one and they rip one.. laughter (from all parties). In the delivery room of a new life and a seconds old baby writes their first backblast..hilarious! (and cute!) Stranger in line at the post office rattles your cage..I’m reporting it to my wife with cry emojis before I even check out! At face value its trapped gas escaping your gastrointestinal tract but I’ll bet your at a low giggle just now even thinking about it. Just one of Gods great mysteries.
Why did we ask it today…Lots to unpack here. Let’s climb in.Duke! Stop tasting your own brand and roll the footage!
Warmup
Standard issue with low chatter about soreness from the Architects Veterans Day beatdown and Partner Carrie’s on Saturday. (YHC nixed todays partner carry’s on the fly, listening is one of my hobbies ya know)
Chillier than expected with intermittent rain gusts, might have been a Ronnie long sleeve day. YHC was ready to get the party started just to raise the body temps.Mosey to the Coupons and Dilly and Diddle joined the fray cursing the schmukity schmucking cane trucks in unison.
Da Thang a Lang
Memorable Men Monday
Volume 3: Desmond Doss
Previously on MMM (working on trademark rights so we can compete with Tuesday Tuff (TM) all rights reserved.) We have covered Sir Ernest Shackleton and St. Max Kolbe so the bar is pretty high and today called for a spotlight on veterans.
Desmond Doss was a US Army corporal who received the Medal of Honor as a conscientious objector. Refusing use of weapons or violence due to his beliefs he was assigned as a combat medic. During the WWII Battle of Okinawa his company was assigned the task of taking a steep plateau amidst the rock formations known as Hacksaw Ridge, due to its intimidating terrain and being riddled with enemy caves.
In a 12 hour period he saved 75 men , carrying them or hauling a stretcher up and down the ridge. Unimaginable courage under unthinkable conditions.
**The PreHype Gif Riddle was a picture of Desmond Doss scaling Hacksaw Ridge, later played by Andrew Garfield (spiderman) in the movie directed by Mel Gibson (Braveheart) who was ever so appropriately yelling freedom which Corporal Doss and his combat were serving to protect for us. **
Circle of Pain Thrusters
We did 75 as a group to honor the 75 men that were saved and to prime the quads for what was to come . YHC took a moment here to reflect that in a previous beatdown maybe 1.5 ish years ago YHC dialed this up and it was a near death experience. There was moaning, four letter words and several pax (YHC included) updated their Last Will and testaments. But today it was considered a light warmup for the coupon elite. Ho Hum just a few thrusters while we have tea and wait for the real work. Mannn ! The fire and flames of IPCs, JurpTobers, hoosker dos, hoosker donts and high level beatdowns has the iron of F3 Thib looking sharp as ever. T-Claps.
Left coupons in Stonehenge mode with Mosey to the starting line of Richmans loop.
Introduced a Swedish dish called Fartlek a La Merkin
YHC needed a running thang to encompass covering long distances and sprinting to simulate avoiding bullets. Until late yesterday evening it was a gap in the beatdown construction that left YHC befuddled. Little did I know Goose was standing at his sink , elbow deep in dishes, using the telepathic communications gained with shared suffering of countless beatdowns. Standing at my own sink of dishes I could sense it…Like a scratch I couldn’t itch ..or a fart I couldn’t quite taste…wait a minute!!! Duke get the ancient scrolls..
The introduction of the Fartlek is at atleast top 5 on my list for Goosies greatest hits and it worked well for todays theme. We moseyed 3 light poles then sprinted the 4th with scattered merkins to complete 75. The pax performed well and with the power vested in my by the State of Louisiana Medical Board I pronounce you certified Fartlekkers.
Merkin Variations:
Werkins
Ranger
Diamond
Staggered
Regular
Slow merkins
RaRaJaBurpee back to da Couponz
One of the many stories of Corporal Doss’s bravery involved him kicking a live grenade away from his company. This received one of his many injuries and several pieces of shrapnel.
To honor this we paired up for RaRaJaBurpee from Richmans straight away to the coupon pile.I’ll take this time to formally apologize to Valve for his pairing today. We started in a great position to win and He was putting his Futbol skills to use with monster well placed kicks. YHC was all over the place, too much mustard..then not enough! yielding us a dreaded loss to the formidable Dawson duo.
To be honest YHC lost track of the other couples in the heat of competition but no ankles were broken and much fun was had.
Next up to honor the wounded carry techniques that Corporal Doss used up and down Hacksaw Ridge we had 1 pax Bar Lunge to cone and back while Rest of Pax did AMRAP :
Curls
OHP
Squats
SSH
Leg Raises
Freddy Merks
Lastly we did burpees without knowing the time or the reps.
“Just One More” – AMRAP Burpees till 6amCounting , Naming, and shenanigans
COT and Diddle prayed us out
Dox of Chocolates:
Its very easy for YHC to get swept away in distraction. And a lot of days its the currents of anxiety that can be the swiftest. What’s ahead? What’s behind? Am I prepared for this? How long will this last? Why does xyz happen only to me etc. etc.
So it makes me even more grateful for stories like todays about Corporal Doss, where we see dependence on God immediately followed by His provisions. A reminder that when all is said and done whether its the next crisis, the next family drama, the next appointment, the next day or even the next hour… we can say “Lord help me through one more”.Grateful for the opportunity to lead and to stand beside you men and ask for one more.
SYITG,
Dox -
Push and Pull – from Honeysuckle
YHC arrived extra early at the Lion’s Den to perform a general site survey and determine the rough distance around the Civic Center, for no particular reason. Goose and Pope were the first to roll in, bearing the flag and bug spray. America’s Best arrived shortly thereafter. After Cardinal was initially mistaken for Enron, YHC knew it was going to be an interesting morning. As the rest of today’s PAX emerged from the gloom, a new figure was in their midst. Some might describe him as a silver surfer, but not today. This FNG would eventually be known as Captain D’s, in a cruelly orchestrated maneuver by AB. More on that later.
Warmarama
Hopefully sufficient disclaimer
Side straddle hops
Windmills
Willie Mays Hayes
Arm circles forward
Arm circles reverse
Cherry pickers
High knees
Butt kickers
Toy soldiers
Mosey around the Warren J Harang Municipal Center; carioca facing the center on the first side, nur on the second side, carioca facing the pond on the third side, run to the lion. The exercise is left to the reader whether or not we properly changed direction for the second carioca or unintentionally did the same direction both times.Thang 1
Today’s theme is celebrations due to recent get togethers. E.g., Festivals, cook-offs, St Thomas Aquinas Family day this past Sunday, Gander going away party, AB pregame party. While some celebrations deal with more superficial ties we have with each other, many involve values, beliefs, communities, and people that are important down to our cores. As we thought about that, the PAX were to do three sets of 100 core exercises:
–100 LBC’s
–100 flutter kicks (2:1)
–{10 v-ups, 10 Freddy Mercuries (2:1)} x 5 setsA run around the WJHMC would kick this off, as well as a lap between each set of 100. So 4 laps total. The difficulty of the core exercises took YHC a little by surprise (how soon Jurptober fitness wears off, as a wise PAX mused), and a few other PAX independently reached this conclusion as well.
At the beginning of this Thang, we were 11 PAX strong. As YHC was performing LBCs, a second new figure arrived. Thinking that this was an OG member that YHC had not met yet, or perhaps Tree Root, YHC simply said, “Do 100 LBCs”. During one of the laps, YHC asked the new figure if we had met before. That is when the new figure introduced himself as Squanto from outside of Houston, who was in town for business. What a great day, to have a FNG and a downranger at the beatdown. Squanto did not do the beatdown in shoes, but as he is not on the Group Me, how would he have otherwise known to bring shoes?
Thang 2
The second class of celebrations covered today was birthdays. YHC has gone back and forth in terms of downplaying (YHC’s own) birthdays and celebrating them. YHC’s current opinion is that they should be celebrated, as an expression of gratitude for another year with loved ones.
If this all sounds like a big circle burp, it was not. True, to an outside onlooker it appeared to be a big circle burp. The exercise was in a circle, but instead it was a burpday party. One at a time, a PAX says his birth month and whatever the numerical equivalent was, all the PAX do that many Kraken Burpees. It became quickly evident that Kraken Burpees were not the right exercise on this particular day, so after completing the Kraken Burpees for the first PAX, YHC changed them to be regular Burpees. In case any PAX thought that giving out his birth month was divulging precious personal identifiable information (PII), all that YHC really cared about is that they said a number between 1 and 12, inclusive. To date, YHC is aware of only one PAX faking their number. Some time in the future, this thang will be repeated with Social Security Number digits and will be known as the “Credit Freeze.”
The PAX ultimately made it through this circle, and YHC is breathing a sigh of relief that the number of burpees wasn’t the day of the month as originally planned.
Thang 3
The PAX handled everything thrown at them today so far, perhaps due to the bifecta of having an FNG and a downranger. We had time to discuss one more celebration, the celebration of our suffering as Goose eloquently covered during the last Tough Guy Thursday. Over the past week or so, the PAX has celebrated F3 during its manniversary, with stories, videos natively and effortlessly inserted into the GroupMe chat, and a lone instance of a link to a YouTube video. All these have covered funny events from the past and gratitude for where we all are in our Fitness, Fellowship, and Faith journeys. F3 also pushes us to look forward, to keep pushing for how much farther we could be in those areas. To achieve this, we help each other in two broad ways: push and pull. The push includes words of encouragement or picking up another PAX as he finishes. These are intentional things we do to help each other. The pull is simply how we handle situations, whether others are watching or not. But when they are watching, sometimes we will never know how we may have inspired someone based on our example. Looking to your left or right during a beatdown, knowing everyone is tired, but seeing the other PAX grind it out. Seeing how someone is handling a difficult situation with strength and grace, or someone who is really strong in his faith. These set the examples of where we ourselves could be.
So, instead of a commemorative plate or CMU about all this, the PAX partnered up for a commemorative Dora-like exercise. One partner is the push. He begins doing Bonnie Blairs. The other partner is the pull. He begins by running to the other side of the field and, when he gets there, doing Apollo Ohnos. As soon as the pull arrives to the other side, the push runs to the other side also and does Apollos. Then the pull immediately runs back and does Bonnies. And so on. This proved to be a nice, yet not comfortable, way to spend 8-10 minutes, and as YHC hoped it would add quite a bit of running to the beatdown, disguised as a Dora.
Name-o-rama
The FNG explained several things about himself, but his affiliation with Spahr’s had to be pried out. It was clear that AB had something up his sleeve. You could see it in his eyes. Apparently still raw about being named after a second-rate eye care center, AB was hungry to drag someone else down with him in an analogous way. Unfortunately for this FNG, names such as Long John Silver’s were mentioned. YHC ultimately agreed to Captain D’s. Looking forward to more beatdowns with Captain D’s.
Animal-o-rama
Hypotenuse bestowed the Animal to Safety Valve.
Announcements covered a few additional details regarding Saturday’s and Sunday’s events. AB will keep everyone posted in the chat on Saturday, as to contingencies in case it rains. Bring bug spray Sunday.
Intentions. As we brought the circle in, Squanto had some words of encouragement about the importance of F3.
Enron prayed us out.
Tclaps for everyone posting today, despite rumors of a runmageddon. We will hopefully be joined by Squanto again during his work travels.
SYITG,
Honeysuckle -
“If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything” – from America’s Best
Disclaimer: Those who have admitted to not seeing “Back to the Future” may some may experience significant shade during this backblast. Reader discretion advised.
YHC loves time travel. Whether it melts your brain (Primer), or rots your brain (Hot Tub Time Machine), YHC will watch it. And in most of these tropes, there are plenty of numbers, pseudoscience, and doing something, going back (Jack) and doing it again– much like an F3 beatdown.
And so today, just after the 68th anniversary of the day Doc Brown hit his head on his toilet and devised the Flux Capacitor, the PAX joined the ranks of Bill and Ted, and time travelled.
The pioneer, at least in YHC’s mind, was Marty McFly, so this beatdown was themed on his first foray into the past.
We start in present day (1985), will travel to 1955, and then hopefully, back to the present again. As everyone (except Enron) knows, we need two things in order to travel: 88 MPH, and 1.21 Gigawatts.Thang 1: Time travel from 1985 to 1955
M= 0.88 miles
P= 88 Peter Parkers
H= 88 Hillbilly SquatsThis was knocked out as we ran/nar, answering random time travel/BTTF trivia (including BTTF music trivia). Montana impressed with his knowledge of the future (2015).
Upon returning to the flag area, the PAX quickly knocked out a round of 21s (curls) which represented the necessary 1.21 gigawatts of power. And like that, we were in 1955.Thang 2: Time travel from 1955 back to 1985
This is obviously going to be more difficult, as plutonium cannot be purchased at every corner store in 1955.
88 MPH this time:
88 Merkins
88 Parker-Peters
88 Hydraulic SquatsThis proved to be more time consuming than YHC had planned, so we aborted early and moved to the 1.21 gigawatt portion of 1955. What other way would one achieve 1.21? Blackjack.
Start on the sideline between picnic tables. Perform 20 coupon curls – run to other tables, perform 1 V-up. Nur back and do 20 coupon curls. Run back for 2 V-ups. Repeat until you do 1 CC and 20 v-ups, running between the sidelines. Always adds up to 21.
(“ Black Jack” officially calls for Merkins and LBCs, but more Merkins seemed too extreme*, and LBCs seemed to easy. And… I’ll say it… we don’t do enough curls).The required effort was great, but the motivation to return to the present was even greater—don’t forget, in 1955 your mother is trying to get in your pants (YHC recently re-watched the film, and this theme is much more disturbing than remembered).
In the end, ironically, we ran out of time.
We headed back to the flag for the final trivia question:
At precisely what time was the clock tower struck by lighting? (and not by a tornado, Enron)
YHC reminded everyone, that just as in the prior song trivia section, where no answer resulted in 10 merkins, and incorrect answers resulted in 4, this time an incorrect answer (or no answer) will result in 10 merkins, a correct answer, only 4.And so we all did 10 Merkins. The correct answer is right there. Right… there.
Thanks for playing, everyone.
To be continued . . .
– Goodbye Goose Get-together Nov 12th at the Enron property
(undercard event at AB’s house the day before, weather permitting)COT and Dox prayed us out.
…Coda (the end is the beginning is the end):
YHC ran out of time, but we got it right. We finally got it right. The first 17 times YHC ran this beatdown, tragedy befell the PAX. Once, blinded by poor parking protocol rage, Dox smashed the Prius with such force that it ripped the space-time continuum. *Another time, YHC had programmed merkins for Blackjack, and Enron’s shoulders finally exploded. And then there was the iteration where Tree Root showed up. Luckily, YHC had upgraded his Turo rental DeLorean with the Mr. Fusion attachment, and was able to keep going back and doing it over until we got it (mostly) right.“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
…
